00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. 00:00:17 Speaker 2: When you're a guest in my home, you gotta. 00:00:21 Speaker 1: Come to me empty. And I said, no, guess you're o presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff. 00:00:35 Speaker 2: So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wine girl. Just right from the beginning here, I'm going to quickly remind everyone that we have merch available. Now. I'm not I've been interrupting the podcast at just random times to tell you this. I'm going to do it at the beginning like a professional, exactly. Writemedia dot com, slash shop if you want to, you know, if you've ever wanted a shirt with a picture of me driving off a cliff. Okay, now what else do we have to talk about? If you've ever no listen, if you recently ran into you know, you're pulling out of a parking space in Palm Springs and you ran into a white Hondai. That's my car and I'm looking for you, and oh, I'd be so heartbroken if it's a listener that ran into my car. But please reach out. Okay, we have to get into the podcast. I love today's guests. I absolutely adore her. It's Melissa Fumero. Melissa, welcome to I said no gifts. 00:01:53 Speaker 2: Hi, thank you for having me. 00:01:55 Speaker 3: I'm so happy you're here. I brought interesting energy. I'm the vic of a hit and run. 00:02:01 Speaker 2: I am so sorry. 00:02:03 Speaker 3: Thank you for your apology. Have you ever been in a car accident. 00:02:07 Speaker 2: The only car accident I've ever been in was a hit and run. 00:02:11 Speaker 3: You're kidding, I'm not. What was this in la? 00:02:15 Speaker 2: It was in New Jersey, Okay, And I was a teenager, and I had two friends in the car. And this is the part that I, for a long time, blamed myself. 00:02:25 Speaker 3: We always blame ourselves. 00:02:27 Speaker 2: I had looked down to adjust the heat. Sure, and that is when the hit happened. And so it was on a narrow street, you know, one lane going in each direction, right, but like wide enough that there was you know, a double yellow line in the middle. 00:02:45 Speaker 3: Okay, those streets in New Jersey are pretty wide. 00:02:49 Speaker 2: Yeah, this one is you can ask Jimmy. It's Ridge Road. Okay, it's well known. But because there's cars parked, it gets a bit like sure. Yeah, And so I looked down for the heat and that's when the hit happened. They had sideswiped. My car had two huge dents in it, and they just they never they just kept going. 00:03:13 Speaker 3: Did you catch a glimpse of the car? 00:03:15 Speaker 2: I want to say it was like a white car, but that was it. They like, they just kept going. We couldn't we couldn't see a license plate, like nothing, and we just pulled over. And I was like really upset, and I thought my parents were going to be furious, and so we didn't tell them that I looked down to change the heat. You know, you're the victim here part. But I know, but for the long time, I was like, had I not looked down, maybe I wouldn't have gotten hit. 00:03:44 Speaker 3: No, this criminal is still out there. 00:03:45 Speaker 2: This criminal is still out there. 00:03:47 Speaker 3: So if you see a white car in New Jersey, uh, please ride into the podcast. 00:03:52 Speaker 2: Yes, reach out. Yes. 00:03:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a it's a frustrating feeling and it feels so powerless. Yes, and this person's I mean, we do have We were on a hike while it happened. The one of the park rangers is very on the case. Oh I'm thrilled with him. He's calling me. 00:04:09 Speaker 2: This might be the most exciting event of his week, I would imagine. 00:04:12 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it is a little crime that he gets to investigate. 00:04:15 Speaker 2: If ever there were a location to have a hit and run, it might have happened in the best. 00:04:19 Speaker 3: Location, easily for the most picturesque, the first picturesque kind of. I don't know if it's a national park or whatever it. 00:04:26 Speaker 2: Was, and a dedicated park ranger. 00:04:28 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've got somebody on the case who is operating within the law. I think that hopefully things work out. Apparently there's camera footage, so this person's time, I mean, this person, the walls are closing in. 00:04:40 Speaker 2: The walls are closing in, and I'm going to they're headed to the chair and this board park ranger. 00:04:45 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, what else does he have to do? 00:04:47 Speaker 2: What else does he have to do? 00:04:49 Speaker 3: He might we came upon him like doodling in a notebook. Yeah, so I think he's like, thank god, there's some excitement. 00:04:55 Speaker 2: This is what I'm saying. 00:04:57 Speaker 3: I mean, they probably do occasionally have a hiker that doesn't come back. That's okay, like what once a year, yeah, once or twice a year. Okay, So we've got to stop talking about my car being hit. It is a huge, unfortunate thing. There's something else I want to talk to you about, because last time I saw you, you mentioned that you had been to this mall in New Jersey. I believe it's called American Dream. 00:05:24 Speaker 2: I believe it is called American Dream. 00:05:26 Speaker 3: What I knew about this mall prior to talking to you about it was probably an article I read in twenty fifteen that was like, this enormous mallen is in the middle of being built, and it's going to sink into the swamp because it'll never be finished. Next thing, I know, you've been to the mall. 00:05:41 Speaker 2: I have been. It is open, I think only as of like last year. 00:05:45 Speaker 3: I think it's been that recent. 00:05:47 Speaker 2: No, I don't know. I don't know if it doesn't. It doesn't feel very recent. It doesn't feel like anyone knows that it's finally like you can go inside of it. I mean we were there on a weekday, but it was empty. 00:05:57 Speaker 3: Oh no. 00:05:58 Speaker 2: But also I can't imagine the amount of peace you would need to be in that mall to have it feel full. 00:06:04 Speaker 3: Is it just I can't even really conceive of this in my mind. How like, what would you compare it to size wise? 00:06:11 Speaker 2: I don't know, because I was inside it and I couldn't conceive of how large it was because it just kept going and going, and we'd turn a corner and there'd be an ice rink, and then you would turn another corner and there'd be a ski ramp, and then you would turn another corner and there would be a water park, like a nice size water park, and a nice size mini amusement park, and a Lego land and stores and restaurants. It was an experience. 00:06:44 Speaker 3: Well, I mean, you say there's a water park in there is the whole mall like damp is a human. 00:06:50 Speaker 2: Impressingly impressively now. 00:06:55 Speaker 3: I mean, they've got some real ta it was. 00:06:58 Speaker 2: I didn't like super walk close to the water park because I didn't want my six year old to see that it was there. 00:07:04 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because then you're going to the water park. Yeah yeah, yeah, and you have to go to the store to buy the swimsuits for everybody. 00:07:09 Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. I didn't have any swimsuits. So but it looked like it went it went down like like it was we were it was up on the second level, but then like the park was like down, so I couldn't really see like into it, but maybe that's the secret to keeping the dampness out of everything else. 00:07:25 Speaker 3: So it's kind of off a cliff or something kinda. So what did there are multiple activities at the small Oh yeah, what did you? Did you partake in any of them? 00:07:33 Speaker 2: Yes? We went to the little Mini Lego Land and as I said, this place was empty. We went on a Friday morning. 00:07:40 Speaker 3: Creepy. 00:07:41 Speaker 2: It was so creepy. There was like one little train ride that my kids got to do like five times because there was no one there. And then they had you know. 00:07:51 Speaker 4: Like the big buildings built out of legos, and then the room where they could play with legos, and then the room where they could sit and big said Lego says vehicles. 00:08:03 Speaker 3: This was more than Legoland. 00:08:04 Speaker 2: All very exciting to them. 00:08:07 Speaker 3: How much time did you spend in them all total? Uh? 00:08:10 Speaker 2: Like all morning we got there, I don't know whenever it opened, like around ten I think, And then we left because our toddler had to nap, and we left my six year old with my brother and my because he has a son the same age, and they went to the amusement park and then they get back to the hotel at like two or three o'clock in the afternoon, like they just spent the whole day there. Wow, because you can. 00:08:36 Speaker 3: This is so so wild to me. And is it so it's in Jersey, it must be within reach of people in New York. 00:08:42 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So it's in the meadowlands by like what used to be called Giant Stadium that's now called something else. 00:08:49 Speaker 3: Okay, sure, and. 00:08:51 Speaker 2: The race track so it's like, yes, it's a it's a bus ride away from the city. 00:08:56 Speaker 3: Wow, this is so fascinating to me. The idea of going to being in a pool in a mall is an uncomfortable thought seeing. 00:09:05 Speaker 2: In a mall, Like when we were parking, there were people with uh like ski gear and skis and snowboards walking into the mall to get their runs in that morning. I guess. 00:09:19 Speaker 3: I mean like, and I can't really justify this in any environment, but maybe like in Dubai, I can imagine, like, Okay, it. 00:09:26 Speaker 2: Fell very dubai ish, not that I've ever been there, but. 00:09:30 Speaker 3: But Dubai's in the middle of the desert. 00:09:32 Speaker 2: Right And then yes, what I guess to scratch the itch in the summertime, it's like all year round thing. And it's crazy because you can see it. I remember too when they were building it. It was really ugly when they were building it, and like they tried to do some like weird colors. But you can see the ski ramp from like the highway, like the main highway you would take from New York when you pass it, and it just looks like this, like it looks like a lego piece, like a like a like a rectangle and then like a diagonal thing that then goes into the rest of this monstrosity of a building. And they had like it, they had it weirdly colorful at one point. I just remember I think it was the most it was the ugliest thing I've ever seen. Uh, they improved the color choice that they somebody came in and made some different choices. Sure, and it's a little bit better. 00:10:32 Speaker 3: So is it now disguise kind of as a mountain? Is it like the Matterhorn? 00:10:37 Speaker 2: No, it wishes, it wishes it was. 00:10:40 Speaker 3: I'm so fascinated by this whole thing. It seems like such a terrible move at this point to open a massive mall. 00:10:47 Speaker 2: Yes, And when they like announced the plans for it, I feel like everyone in the Tri State area was like, why we don't need that here. New York City is like a stones throw away maybe in a place where you don't have a lot of entertainment. Something like that makes sense, right, But yeah, it just felt like everybody hated it. And then it was just so much money and they got to a certain point where it was like there's no turning back now, and so they built it and it's open. I'm so curious if it's like, how is it doing well? Does it make money? 00:11:29 Speaker 3: At some point it's going to go out of business, and then what do you do with that building? 00:11:33 Speaker 2: What do you do with that building? That's going to maybe it'll be that next house stadium. 00:11:37 Speaker 3: Right, it's so, I mean, I'm giving it five years and then that's going to be the biggest empty building in America. Oh my god, I whish I'd love to wander through. I was back there. I was in New York a month or so ago. I wish I had gone to visit. I know, what a missed opportunity. Now I've got a reason to go back east finally, to go to the mall. 00:12:01 Speaker 2: You can stop on fly into Newark. You could just stop there. 00:12:05 Speaker 3: That should be part of it. Should be part airport. 00:12:08 Speaker 2: It should there should be a shuttle straight from the airport. 00:12:10 Speaker 3: That would have been. What a missed opportunity for them, seriously, because the Newark Airport is needs a help. 00:12:16 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 00:12:17 Speaker 3: I mean I love to fly in and out, but there's not a lot going on there. They've got a Jersey Mics. Yeah, and then a lot of you know, airport restaurants, a lot of airport restaurants where I feel like most airports at this point have kind of come into the twenty first century with things you at least recognize. 00:12:34 Speaker 2: Yeah, or at least yeah. 00:12:36 Speaker 3: Or like local, right, something that seems mildly appealing. Jersey Mikes. What's your feet? As someone from Jersey. 00:12:44 Speaker 2: I just had a Jersey Mics today for the first time. 00:12:48 Speaker 3: Are you serious? I'm so huppy. 00:12:55 Speaker 2: There's one that, uh is really close to my house and my parents are visiting and apparently they love Jersey Mikes. 00:13:02 Speaker 3: Oh wow, what an endorsement for Jersey Mike. 00:13:05 Speaker 2: Well, because here's here's the catch. They since my dad retired, they've been living in Florida for the past Okay, I wouldn't put too much stock. Perhaps Jersey Mikes is like the closest. Say the sandwich I had, the sub I had today, it was it was very Jersey. 00:13:27 Speaker 3: It's not bad. 00:13:28 Speaker 2: It's not bad. 00:13:29 Speaker 3: I mean in the world of franchise sub sandwiches. Yeah, I'll go to a Jersey Mics. 00:13:35 Speaker 2: So go to a Jersey mis now. 00:13:37 Speaker 3: And now we've got all of these Jersey people going to Jersey Mikes. Yeah. I guess they're doing something right. 00:13:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, they had the oil and vinegar just like again, Jersey, that's a Jersey thing. 00:13:46 Speaker 4: Ye. 00:13:46 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they call it Mike's way. There. Mike is kind of taking ownership of something that feels like it's a whole states. 00:13:53 Speaker 2: Oh okay, So he's appropriating Jersey, got Jersey culture, he's appropriating our culture. Okay, okay, Mike, all right, we're gonna look you up later. 00:14:03 Speaker 3: I wonder if Mike even exists. That's my there's always like one. 00:14:06 Speaker 2: I mean, the audacity to say that oil and vinegar on a sub is what was you say? It was called Mike's way, Mike's Way. Yes, okay, Mike. 00:14:17 Speaker 3: We've got your number. 00:14:18 Speaker 1: Mike. 00:14:19 Speaker 3: Okay, Wow, I'm so I'm thrilled about that. So your parents are in town for the holidays or. 00:14:24 Speaker 2: What they're here for the holiday, and also because we are going to a wedding up north this weekend, so they are staying with our monsters aka perfect. 00:14:38 Speaker 3: Oh that's so nice. 00:14:39 Speaker 2: We can get a few nights away. 00:14:40 Speaker 3: A little vacation for your parents and free childcare for you. Yes, this is perfect. Yes, we just put up our Christmas tree night, almost immediately after thanks getting the same. You're a big Christmas person. 00:14:53 Speaker 2: I usually like to do it on Friday, but we were all very hungover. Sure, so it did not happen, and it went up. We did the Christmas decorations on Saturday, and then we got the tree yesterday. 00:15:05 Speaker 3: Oh okay, so did you go to a tree lot? 00:15:09 Speaker 2: So my husband went to a tree lot and the trees were like two hundred dollars. 00:15:15 Speaker 3: Unbelievable the price was on a tree. 00:15:17 Speaker 2: He was so mad. So he went to home depot and got a tree for eighty dollars. 00:15:22 Speaker 3: Wow, yeah, eighty dollars. I mean it's still like kind of wild. 00:15:26 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but I feel like in La Like I was like, okay, something that's hovering around one hundred feels right two hundred. And there were trees there for three hundred. No, no, he said, like a seven foot tree was like set like three hundred dollars, and I was like, I'm sorry, oh. 00:15:46 Speaker 3: For something that is basically a fire hazard. Right, you're paying three hundred dollars to potentially light your home on fire. 00:15:53 Speaker 2: And don't we like those trees like they grow in California Christmas trees? Right? 00:16:02 Speaker 3: I imagine I think there's a tree farm in every state at this point. There has to be. 00:16:06 Speaker 2: They're well Texas. 00:16:09 Speaker 3: Yes, I believe there's one in Texas. Really, where's Texas getting their trees home? 00:16:14 Speaker 2: Coming from colder states? Aren't They don't know? 00:16:17 Speaker 3: So I bet there's a I. 00:16:19 Speaker 2: Don't think there's any Christmas tree farms in Florida or like Louisiana. 00:16:24 Speaker 3: Don't you dare to? I don't care. There has to be Christmas tree farms because trees dry out so quickly. How are you transporting the trees from? For Florida, where would they come from? 00:16:37 Speaker 2: You're putting them in water, and you're putting them in a refrigerated truck. 00:16:40 Speaker 3: There's actually washing around the tank, you know. 00:16:46 Speaker 2: Don't we grow like eighty percent of the produce for the whole country. We can we can export food. 00:16:51 Speaker 3: But a tree is not a carrot. 00:16:54 Speaker 5: No, but think about I mean, the tree is cut and then it lives in a bowl of water for over a month, and it really doesn't look shitty until the last Oh can I curse you can? 00:17:09 Speaker 2: Right? It really doesn't look shitty until the last like week or two. 00:17:14 Speaker 3: That's that's true. But I think we are. 00:17:17 Speaker 2: Definitely driving Christmas trees around. 00:17:21 Speaker 3: There's a Christmas tree farmer in Dallas right now. That's saying you are erasing me. You are erasing who I am and my farm that I care. 00:17:29 Speaker 2: Looking forward to the social media comments already. 00:17:32 Speaker 3: Yea, social media is going to be on fire. 00:17:34 Speaker 2: Yeah, all those Christmas tree farmers are going to come after me. 00:17:38 Speaker 3: That's a large, large part of our listenership is Christmas tree farmers. So you're you ared o A, yeah, well okay, we're already fighting. We might as well. Look, I was so excited that you were going to be on the show. I think you're so funny, You're just wonderful. Well, this is such a warm person. We're going to have a great time. So I was a little surprised. I was getting ready. I'm ready for the podcast excited for you to be here. Here you come around the corner into my backyard holding a gift. The podcast is called I said no gifts. Yeah, I don't know exactly what's going on. 00:18:23 Speaker 2: Well, I'm from New Jersey, okay, and I'm Cuban. Okay, So you just don't show up empty handed. That's rude. 00:18:31 Speaker 3: So I don't know that about either people from New Jersey or Cuba. So this is yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:18:37 Speaker 2: I'm going to claim that for my and there. 00:18:42 Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, Well I don't know that that's an excuse, but maybe we should just move past this. 00:18:49 Speaker 2: Okay, do you want me. 00:18:50 Speaker 3: To open it here on the podcast? 00:18:51 Speaker 2: I would love for you to open it. 00:18:52 Speaker 3: Okay, right now? Okay. Now, it's a it's a little box with adorable wrapping on it. 00:19:12 Speaker 2: I don't own adult wrapping paper. 00:19:15 Speaker 3: Is there such a thing. 00:19:16 Speaker 2: I'm gonna assume there is. I've never seen that paper. 00:19:21 Speaker 3: I would consider this adult because it's very tasteful. 00:19:23 Speaker 2: Oh thank you. 00:19:24 Speaker 3: It's got like a little animals on it, a flamingo, what appears to be a hedgehog or porcupine. 00:19:30 Speaker 2: I feel inclined to tell you that the snake being so incredibly centered. 00:19:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so prominent. 00:19:37 Speaker 2: Was a happy accident as I was wrapping, and I was delighted by it. 00:19:42 Speaker 3: What that it symbolizes your appearance on the show. Yeah, okay, well you I mean this is a real snake move to. Oh and there's a cute little turtle too. I'm gonna open this up and see here for it. It's some sort of Oh this is really well wrapped. Did you wrap this? 00:19:58 Speaker 2: I did wrap it. 00:19:59 Speaker 3: I'm so tell us of someone who can wrap a gift. 00:20:01 Speaker 2: Oh my mother is so good at rapping gifts. 00:20:05 Speaker 3: Did she teach you? 00:20:07 Speaker 2: Kind of a guess a? 00:20:08 Speaker 3: Lise's approaching, so to hold the microphone. 00:20:10 Speaker 2: Oh, yes, here, let's see if this is a thick. 00:20:12 Speaker 3: Rap, Like I really appreciate a thick wrap. 00:20:16 Speaker 2: Thank you. 00:20:16 Speaker 3: Here, we're getting in, we're opening, We're opening, we're opening. Okay, thank you on Lisa. Okay, what let's see? Oh the official two thousand and fifty Is this? What this is? 00:20:31 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:20:31 Speaker 3: I mean the box says the official twenty fifteen United States Congressional Holiday ornament. What is this? It's Oh my god, this is beautiful. Where did you get this? I mean it's literally the capital in ornament form in Washington, d C. It's gorgeous. It's such an ornate ornament. 00:20:52 Speaker 2: So my godfather is a congressman. Oh, you're kidding in New Jersey. Okay, I'll be a serious. He's my dadd's best friend from high school. What and he's been a congressman for many, many years. So I have a lot of these ornaments. 00:21:09 Speaker 3: They can make one of these every year. 00:21:11 Speaker 2: They make one every year, and you can't buy them. I guess. Apparently my mother wanted me to make sure to tell you that before. 00:21:17 Speaker 6: Oh, so this is very collectors, very collectors. 00:21:21 Speaker 3: There are some like Congress. 00:21:22 Speaker 2: I had a few years as options. I decided I saw twenty fifteen. It was saw twenty fifteen that I saw twenty nineteen. I was like, let's not go. Let's go with a non Trump year. 00:21:32 Speaker 3: Thank you. I appreciate this. It's not a cursed object. 00:21:35 Speaker 2: Yes, it's not a curse object. In fact, my mom was like, why don't you have more of these? And I was like, I might have thrown some years out. 00:21:44 Speaker 3: How many do you think you have? Total? 00:21:46 Speaker 1: Uh? 00:21:46 Speaker 2: I think I have like four or five on my tree. And then I had like another few in a box. But my mom was appalled that I didn't have more. She was like, did you not get had one every year? Your sister in law has twice as many. 00:22:05 Speaker 3: She has a whole tree dedication. 00:22:08 Speaker 2: So many. And that's when I was like, I don't know that I kept all of them. I might have given away some. I'm not sure. I didn't keep track. So yeah, how. 00:22:20 Speaker 3: Many ornaments is he getting that he's giving them away? 00:22:23 Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I guess each congressman gets a few. I don't know what the protocols are. I just know that every year one would get mailed to me. 00:22:34 Speaker 3: Wow. 00:22:36 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:22:36 Speaker 3: And does he send it with like a family picture? 00:22:38 Speaker 2: Oh, it just comes alone. It's in a box. 00:22:41 Speaker 3: How much communication do you have with this man? 00:22:44 Speaker 2: Very very little, you know. I mean, he's, like I said, he's my dad's best friend. They were Cuban immigrants, met in high school and they played basketball together. They're both very tall. 00:22:56 Speaker 3: Men, huh. 00:22:58 Speaker 2: And then he went into politics. He was a mayor in New Jersey for a long time, and then he uh ran for Congress and won and has been in DC ever since. And so I saw him a few years ago, maybe around twenty fifteen or so. And it was lovely because we got like a real, really fancy tour of the of the capitol. 00:23:22 Speaker 3: Oh your kidd Yeah, you've got to see kind of behind the scenes stuff. 00:23:26 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, like a private tour and had lunch with him there and it was lovely. It was really nice. 00:23:32 Speaker 3: How do you feel about Washington, DC as a place to visit? 00:23:36 Speaker 2: Interesting? It's odd. It's odd, right, because it's very clean and there's a lot of money. It feels like there's just a lot of money everywhere, especially when you're in that central sort of year. As soon as you leave that area doesn't feel like normal, right, Yeah, it's it's just, uh, it's cool the history of it, and it's weird. 00:24:00 Speaker 3: I mean, I'll say it, it's boring. 00:24:02 Speaker 2: It's boring. I mean, other countries definitely have this beat on, like the cap on their capitals. 00:24:11 Speaker 3: Every other country's capital seems to be like a vibrant culture and like it really gives you a taste of the country. 00:24:16 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you don't get that here here. 00:24:18 Speaker 3: It's like it's there are some here. 00:24:20 Speaker 2: Are some old buildings and some museums and everything almost everything's white. It's a bunch of white buildings and some museums and then and then that's it. 00:24:31 Speaker 3: And again apologies to the d C yes people, but not I. I'll say, not a lot of great food, no, yeah, just not a lot to do. Yeah, So every time I go there, I'm just kind of baffled. 00:24:43 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no like DC food, right, Like, there's no like. 00:24:48 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not like going to get like there's a cuisine. 00:24:52 Speaker 2: Of New York, of California, LA, yeah, New Orleans like DC pizzas. No. 00:25:00 Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess you have to go at least once as an American. But I've now been so many well I think i've been three times, and that does feel like so many times. I'm just like I never need. 00:25:12 Speaker 2: To go back. Yeah, I've been twice and that y Yeah, that feels right. 00:25:17 Speaker 3: I mean I've been told that it's a little bit like LA in that it attracts a certain type of people who are kind of like obsessed with power or fame. But at least I think the people in LA are at least artistic, So there it's just like boring people that are obsessed with power here. 00:25:34 Speaker 2: That's an important distinction. 00:25:39 Speaker 3: But I think maybe that contributes I don't know, but yeah, I did very little while I was there. So okay, back to the ornament. You've decorated your tree, yes, what else do you do for the holidays? 00:25:53 Speaker 2: Oh? Well, normally we travel back east to see family, but are children are very small and high maintenance right now, So we have decided to do the holidays here right for the next couple of years while they get themselves together, get their their lives back in order to get their shit together, start acting like respectable people in public, and then we will take them on a plane again. No, yeah, it's and also just like flying at Christmases a lot. It's a lot. 00:26:31 Speaker 3: So are like your parents and in laws coming here for the holidays? 00:26:35 Speaker 2: My in laws? Yeah, my husband's brother and his family are coming for Christmas, and we typically celebrate Christmas eve. Okaya, and we have like Cuban food. Yeah, what sort of Cuban food are you eating? It's a very specific menu for Christmas Eve. Oh, I want to hear this roast pork, Oh, delicious, rice and beans okay, yuka which is like a type of root vegetables and like plant like sweet plantains too, both the sweet and the savory savory and that's pretty much it. 00:27:10 Speaker 3: That should be every Christmas Eve dinner. Amazing, that sounds so delicious. Are you preparing the food? Is somebody helping you? Are you ordering in? 00:27:18 Speaker 2: I normally the last few years that we've done it here, I've ordered. But my mother, who's if you haven't picked up already from this podcast, is very what's the word convincing, has talked me into cooking this year because she swears that the pork is easy to do. I could just get a big pork shoulder and marinate it with this, this, and this and this two days before and then throw it in the oven. I do already know how to make rice and beans. Okay, the Latin store by me, I'm pretty sure has frozen yuco, which I do know how to make, and I do know how to do the plantains, So. 00:27:55 Speaker 3: Then you're basically set. So yeah, that'll just be hours of work. 00:27:59 Speaker 2: Could just be hours of work. I know we were cooking for She also convinced me to cook all the food for Thanksgiving, and so we spent all of Wednesday like prepping and cooking, and she was like, isn't this fun? Isn't this fun? Cooking? And I was like, yeah, it's fun because you're here helping me. 00:28:16 Speaker 3: You're not completely alone if you weren't here. 00:28:19 Speaker 2: And on top of it, I'm getting interrupted every ten minutes by a child and then coming back to the kitchen and going what was I doing? I swear I made this rice dish for like three hours while my mom marinated the turkey and made the stuffing and like made five dishes in the same amount of time. Yeah, yeah, she goes like, isn't this fun? Isn't this great? Isn't this what the holidays are about? 00:28:42 Speaker 3: Christmas Eve is going to crush you. It is going to absolutely destroy you. 00:28:46 Speaker 2: It is everyone's going to be eating and I'm just going to be like lying on the grass in my front yard staring at the stars. 00:28:52 Speaker 3: So do you do anything the following day at all? 00:28:56 Speaker 2: Not really Like growing up, our Christmas Day was like finishing because in New Jersey we'd have all my cousins from New York would come over to my parents' house. Sure, and so we would have a big Christmas Eve in my parents' house and then we would do most of the cleaning that night before everyone w's bed. But Christmas Morning was spent presents finish cleaning, putting tables away, eating leftovers, and then ordering Chinese food and going to the movies. 00:29:26 Speaker 3: What a lovely way to stay. 00:29:28 Speaker 2: So I still like to order Chinese food on Christmas Day. 00:29:31 Speaker 3: Yeah, Christmas Day for my family lasts about two hours. You know, some gifts and then it is agony and it's so boring. There's nothing to do. I mean, Jim, every time the opportunity to tell the story comes up, he does it. I think it was the first year he came home with me to Utah. We had a couple of hours in the morning, and then I think we had Christmas dinner at an absolutely empty McDonald's. It was such a sad experience. There was one other person there. It was a woman who obviously had been through something on Christmas Day. She was crying. Was like it was on the outs with their family or something. It was a bleak. 00:30:14 Speaker 2: All these the sad and deserted go to McDonald's on Christmas Day. 00:30:20 Speaker 3: But I think he secretly liked it. I think Jim was happy that we got to go have Hamburgers on Christmas. But he, of course is playing the martyr and it's always. 00:30:29 Speaker 2: Most boring Christmas of his life. 00:30:31 Speaker 3: And every time I go back to Utah, he makes me swear we won't have McDonald's. But I think he's hoping that we go back. 00:30:37 Speaker 2: I bet. I think you're right. I think you should take him every time you go to Utah. 00:30:43 Speaker 3: But yeah, I do think that Christmas Eve is the more exciting part of the holiday. There's the anticipation. I think the balloon gets popped the next morning and everyone's kind of depressed. 00:30:54 Speaker 2: I will say having small kids has made Christmas kind of fun again. I bet yeah, because that is, you know, the whole Santa thing. It's so fun to lie to them the whole month of December, the whole month you have something to hold over their heads. Every time my son acts up, I'm like, you better watch up. That's all I do is I just sing that lyric and I walk away. 00:31:19 Speaker 3: That is delightful. When did when did you find out about Santa Claus? 00:31:23 Speaker 2: I want to say I was like, I don't know, like nine or ten. 00:31:28 Speaker 3: Okay, that's about I feel grade. 00:31:31 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like right, it was like fourth fifth grade. I immediately told my best friend because I was that person just ruined her life. 00:31:38 Speaker 3: How did she react? 00:31:40 Speaker 2: She cried. Oh my god, I was that friend. I was like, did you know that Santa's not real? Just no regard for her feelings at all. She cried, and I was like, why are you crying? I think I also told her about sex Till later. 00:32:00 Speaker 3: It's like, did you know you are a very valuable person in that woman's life. She's probably so thankful for you. She could have she could still be believing about Santa Claus. 00:32:11 Speaker 2: It's possible. 00:32:12 Speaker 3: So you came in at the right moment. Because let's be honest, fourth fifth grade, you're getting a little old distill believe in Santa Claus. 00:32:17 Speaker 2: You are, and you don't want to be the last kid. 00:32:19 Speaker 3: No, that's humiliating. 00:32:21 Speaker 2: That's a real tough spot to be truly. But now I'm scared because I know I have that kid. Kids is going to be You're gonna tell all his friends. He's gonna tell them all. 00:32:33 Speaker 3: Yeah, and your parents calling you my child is crying? Yeah, how do I explain this to my son? Yeah, that's tough. I have a couple friends who their philosophy on Santa Claus is interesting. They do lie to their kids about Santa, but only they say Santa brings the smaller gifts and then they take credit for the big gifts. 00:32:56 Speaker 2: I gotta get down with that. 00:32:57 Speaker 3: I think that's a good idea. 00:32:58 Speaker 2: I kind of do that. We started doing that this year. I said, well, Sanna only gets you a few gifts and Mom and Papa get you the rest. Because I realized Santah had too much power. Right, He's getting he's getting so much credit. And also I think there's a little part of my son's brain that was like, it's impossible to watch all of us all the time. So I needed some of that present power in my control. Like, you know, that big thing you want, he's not getting that for you. I'm getting that for you. 00:33:26 Speaker 3: So you need me. 00:33:27 Speaker 2: You need me. Watch yourself. 00:33:29 Speaker 3: You can't count on Santa Claus. 00:33:31 Speaker 2: Watch your tone. 00:33:33 Speaker 3: No. I support that. I feel like every parent should do that. It probably makes your kid appreciate you more sooner, or. 00:33:42 Speaker 2: Just makes you more makes him more mad at you. 00:33:46 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I guess if the big gift is kind of a dud, then they really game. Yeah, you can't blame anybody but yourself. 00:33:52 Speaker 2: There is some risk involved, for sure. See how it goes. 00:33:58 Speaker 3: Have they do they write Christmas list. 00:34:00 Speaker 2: Yes, he just wrote his last night. 00:34:02 Speaker 3: What are kids wanting for Christmas? Now? 00:34:05 Speaker 2: Oh god, Well, my son is going to be seven, so he's approaching the age of like less toys into toys. He asked for some video games for his Nintendo Switch. Okay, what else? Did he ask for? Some Lego sets? 00:34:23 Speaker 3: Okay? Oh? 00:34:24 Speaker 2: This cool? Like, uh, he's gonna try out for We'll not try out. He's gonna do it, but he has to do like a little league. So it's like this to practice hitting the ball. 00:34:37 Speaker 3: It's like a it's like a little. 00:34:39 Speaker 2: It's like a ball on a thing that comes around, almost like a heather ball, yes, kind of, but like a modern version of it. It looks like it kind of comes around. I don't know. 00:34:51 Speaker 3: Oh interesting, I thought it was interesting. I've never successfully hit a baseball, oh, not once in my life. 00:34:58 Speaker 2: That's amazing. 00:34:59 Speaker 3: I mean, I guess I should own at this point as I should be proud of you. 00:35:02 Speaker 2: Should I actually impressed. 00:35:04 Speaker 3: Unfortunately I've tried, so that's the problem. Yeah, I had. If I had taken a stand against it early on and said I will never hit a baseball, I would be proud of that. Unfortunately, there are over the years. 00:35:16 Speaker 2: I like that you tried and it never happened. 00:35:21 Speaker 3: It never happened for me. 00:35:23 Speaker 2: Now you just know. Yeah, and I'm not in your skill set yet yet. 00:35:29 Speaker 3: I could be a late bloomer. You could maybe I get really into baseball now you never know, and just ruin another team's fun. They're just like sending Bridger out to bat and you can't hit a single ball. 00:35:39 Speaker 2: Honestly, that sounds fun. 00:35:41 Speaker 3: Did you play any sports in school? 00:35:43 Speaker 2: I did not. I was a dancer growing up. Oh and so I did not really do sports in a dance studio every day. 00:35:52 Speaker 3: What sort of dance was it? Like? 00:35:54 Speaker 2: Mostly ballet and like theater like musical theater, Broadway, jazz, and I guess contemporary like modern okay, sure, and then some tap that I was really bad at tap. 00:36:07 Speaker 3: Oh I don't know that I could do tap. I have a friend in an adult tap class, and it's I've gone to both of her recitals. Fascinating to watch, absolutely fascinating. 00:36:18 Speaker 2: To come with you next time. 00:36:19 Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'm sure the the tap studio will take any audience member they could possibly get. I mean, I won't name the name of the dance studio, but they the owner puts on some interesting productions. I bet with some interesting sci fi storylines. 00:36:36 Speaker 2: Oh, all of every owner of a dance studio is is a character. 00:36:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe that. I absolutely believe that. And I imagine adult tap studio owners are a rare breed, interesting breed. 00:36:52 Speaker 2: Almost have to be. It's like a job requirement, right. 00:36:56 Speaker 3: But yeah, I've been to both. Both had a light political tone and both had some sort of sci fi element, which an interesting experience overall. But you've tapped a little. 00:37:07 Speaker 2: I've tapped a little. I wish. I think it's cool when you're when someone's like really good at taps, so embarrassive, so impressive. I wished I could be like that, But my feet don't do it. 00:37:26 Speaker 3: That's a good explanation. I actually have recently been thinking about taking a dance class. I think that that could be a good time. Yes, I love to dance, but like have never trained as a dance Yeah. That feels like a fun diversion, distraction from my life. 00:37:43 Speaker 2: Absolutely. Well, it's like such a release, right because there is a creative expression element to it, and that if you can get have a good class and you can have a little bit of that, it's like, yeah, it's why not. I feel really good. 00:38:01 Speaker 3: After Yeah, But again, going back to the adult dance element of it, who am I going to be dancing with? Well, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe they're all bonkers, that's true. I get to meet a lot of character. 00:38:12 Speaker 2: Yes, I think you should do it. 00:38:14 Speaker 3: Maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll go to the community center or something. I don't even know where to begin looking, but maybe that's the next step in my life. My new chapter is a dancer I am. 00:38:26 Speaker 2: I am into it. 00:38:27 Speaker 3: Do you like to dance at weddings? 00:38:28 Speaker 2: I do? 00:38:29 Speaker 3: What a wonderful time? 00:38:30 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love a wedding. I know people have opinions about weddings. I what's not to love about a wedding? 00:38:38 Speaker 3: Did you? I have to assume you enjoyed your wedding? I did? But was it stressful? 00:38:43 Speaker 2: It was because we had a really big wedding, right, which is not really like who we are. But it was just like our circumstance because we're Latin and we have so many cousins. 00:38:56 Speaker 3: Oh sure, sure. 00:38:57 Speaker 2: So yeah it was. And I didn't have I was young. I was in my twenties. I got married pretty young and so I didn't have like a wedding planner or anything like. I did everything myself. 00:39:09 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, so that. 00:39:10 Speaker 2: Was stressful, right, I can only imagine. And but then the actual day was not stressful. 00:39:17 Speaker 3: Oh well that's nice. 00:39:18 Speaker 2: Then I was able to kind of just let it all go right and be like whatever, it can all fucking fall apart and I'm done. I am so done planning this fucking wedding. I'm going to go I'm going to say I do, I'm going to get drunk, and I'm going to dance. And then that's what I did. 00:39:37 Speaker 3: It's such a healthy attitude. 00:39:38 Speaker 2: Thank you. 00:39:40 Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't think I could. I could handle it. I had a birthday party recently and it nearly broke me. I was up until the moment it started. I was sweating. I was swearing I would never do it again. Yeah, it just. 00:39:52 Speaker 2: You're gonna do it again next year. 00:39:53 Speaker 3: I had a wonderful time. 00:39:54 Speaker 2: I had a great time. 00:39:55 Speaker 3: Once it began. 00:39:56 Speaker 2: That's the thing. That's the thing, that's the that's the like drug part of it, right, is like this planning is so stressful and you're like, why am I doing this? I'm never fucking doing this again and then you have the best time. 00:40:08 Speaker 3: Right. 00:40:09 Speaker 2: I can't tell you how many times I say to my husband, like, we should do a vow renewal just so I could throw another fucking wedding. 00:40:15 Speaker 3: Yeah you should. You probably will at some point I want to. But imagine if it went wrong, you go through all that stress and then you don't have a good time, I would probably throw myself into the ocean. 00:40:25 Speaker 2: I don't know, though. Sometimes that can also be a surprise, because sometimes parties where everything goes wrong end up being like the best party you. 00:40:32 Speaker 3: Have just a better attitude about everything. That would be the end of me. It would be my farewell party, it would. Yeah, I can't. I couldn't handle the stress followed by a dud of a party. 00:40:44 Speaker 2: Yeah, just quit society, go into isolation, become a repost for the rest of your days. 00:40:51 Speaker 3: But I do like going to a wedding, of course. I mean, yeah, I've been to. 00:40:55 Speaker 2: There's people that don't. 00:40:56 Speaker 3: They're like weddings well, I mean unless it's a huge The idea of a destination wedding bothers me. Why because it's like suddenly I'm paying my for a vacation that to a destination. I didn't have any plan on going. 00:41:09 Speaker 2: To okay A. It depends where it is. 00:41:13 Speaker 3: True. 00:41:13 Speaker 2: That's a big, very true. Because if you're having your destination wedding in somewhere, that's I'm gonna judge you so harshly, right, because then, yeah, you want me to spend money to go there. 00:41:29 Speaker 3: Really, see, that's my fear. 00:41:31 Speaker 2: But if it's somewhere cool, that's like you're giving us an excuse to go somewhere we may not have gone. True, it forces us to take a vacation. I'm bad at taking vacation. It's terrible as see. That's what I like about destination weddings is it forces me to take a vacation and go somewhere. 00:41:49 Speaker 3: Again. Back to the attitudes, maybe I just need to shift in attitude. Maybe I just a destination wedding. Hopefully, hopefully none of my friends get married. That's kind of the only thing that will protect me from that. But there are a lot of them out there that are still unmarried. Do you like matchmaking? 00:42:11 Speaker 2: I like the idea of it, and I wish it's a skill I wish I had. I feel like I would be a good match, like you. 00:42:20 Speaker 3: Would be a really great matchmaker. 00:42:21 Speaker 2: But I have no matches to It's hard. Credit for it's hard. And every time someone's like if you know anyone, I get so excited, like, oh, I bet I do, I bet I do know someone, and then I don't, right, and it's like. 00:42:40 Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing. Are the people that usually say if you know someone? Is it a woman that says this? No, I feel like you know. 00:42:46 Speaker 2: A lot of guys, women and men. 00:42:48 Speaker 3: It's pretty much most of the people that I'm trying to make matches for women my friends with in LA and there's like, I think there are like four decent men in Los Angeles. I'm like, I don't know women, and. 00:43:00 Speaker 2: It's a lot harder. Yeah. Usually if a guy asks me, I'm. 00:43:03 Speaker 3: Like, oh, right, I've got fifty people. 00:43:05 Speaker 2: I could say, yeah, yeah, I've got some ladies, right, But if a woman does yeah, it's like, oh, I'm sorry. So many guys that suck out. 00:43:12 Speaker 3: There right now, even my close friends. I can't imagine sending you up. 00:43:16 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. 00:43:16 Speaker 3: I would never I can name all sorts of problems with this person. I don't want you anywhere near them, but I do enjoy I mean, I feel like, I'm constantly on the hunt for to make a match because in doing, I mean, it's such a satisfying feeling. 00:43:29 Speaker 2: When it works out, it must be so exhilarating. 00:43:31 Speaker 3: Oh it's a thrill. Yeah, and it feels like. 00:43:33 Speaker 2: So have you ever matched someone? 00:43:36 Speaker 3: Yes? I have and it felt great and they're still together. But that was years ago. It's been over at least a decade. So I've lost the top. You have one, I've got one in my pocket. I've got one, and I've. 00:43:49 Speaker 2: Got it all together. And it was a success story. 00:43:52 Speaker 3: Right, So I'm just I'm chasing that high. Yeah, I've got to find another match to make. We'll see what happens. I need to keep a little rollodex, just a more spreadsheet, and then I can you know. 00:44:04 Speaker 2: A little Google sheet if you will. 00:44:06 Speaker 3: All right, right, availables, I mean speaking of docs and that sort of thing. We should play a game. Okay, We're gonn play a game called Gift to a Curse. I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:44:20 Speaker 2: Eight. 00:44:21 Speaker 3: Okay, I have to do some light calculating. I'll tell you how we played the game in a moment. But right now you have the mic. You can recommend, you can promote, you can do whatever you want. 00:44:29 Speaker 2: Oh okay, I don't know if I have anything to well. Blockbuster is on Netflix currently and I'm on it and Bridger is a writer on it. Thank you. I also have a little indie comedy called bar Fight that's a little bit Christmas y that is currently streaming on demand. And uh, those are my things currently right now in this moment. You did it, Thank you, You're so Goodlockbuster sweating, Okay. 00:45:05 Speaker 3: No, you did it. Nobody ever sees it coming. They don't know what to do. There's frequently kind of nervous hedging about what they want to promote. Uh, promoting things is very hard to recommend something that you've done. It's there's because it's yeah, do I think I am. 00:45:26 Speaker 2: That's what it feels like every time. But watch this thing I did. But that's literally my whole job. I don't have a job if you don't watch. 00:45:36 Speaker 3: Likewise, so people, I think the promotion is and that's why I give the platform. I want to give a safe space where you can shamelessly talk about yourself. 00:45:45 Speaker 2: Appreciate that. 00:45:46 Speaker 3: And most people just uh don't do a very good job at him. But that was fine. You did perfectly fine there, fine, Yeah, go watch Blockbuster and. 00:45:55 Speaker 2: What's the name of the movie bar Fight? 00:45:58 Speaker 3: Barfight? Go see those things? Viewer and or viewer listener, listen listener, you're not looking at the podcast. I hope you're not looking at I don't know. 00:46:05 Speaker 2: It might be they might be watching those little numbers. 00:46:08 Speaker 3: You never know. Okay, this is how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm gonna name three things. You're going to tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why? 00:46:18 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:46:18 Speaker 3: And I'm going to tell you if you're correct or not because there are correct answers. Oh okay. And you can bomb the game great, which would be so embarrassing for you, so be careful. 00:46:28 Speaker 2: I haven't been embarrassed in a while. 00:46:29 Speaker 3: So well, prepare yourself. Okay. So the first thing, this is a listener's suggestion from someone named Jessica. Jessica wants to know gift or a curse? Unexpectedly long yellow traffic lights unexpectedly? 00:46:45 Speaker 2: Oh, gift? And why because you can drive through them safely? 00:46:54 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, Melissa, I have some news for you. Wrong curse. This is why because it allows too much room for decision making. For someone like me, I need to be told what to do. I actually don't think there should even be a yellow light. I just need a yes or no. I need to stop or go the yellow light. And when it's unexpected, I don't know how long. Then I'm slowing down. I'm speeding up. I'm slowing down. My heart is raising. I don't know what to do. I'm putting myself and every other driver in the vicinity in danger. Wow, and for that reason alone? Curse? And why is there there must be some sort of standard. Why isn't there a standard for the yellow light? There should be four seconds or something. 00:47:39 Speaker 2: There should be a standard. Although I guess intersections come in different sizes. Sure, so maybe that is too. Has to take that into account. 00:47:50 Speaker 3: Is it like a thing to keep you on your toes? I guess so it's not like your Everyone knows they have this much time with a yellow light, right. 00:47:58 Speaker 2: I don't know when it's been I don't know what it says about me. I see yellow, and I go a little faster, just so I can make that ship. 00:48:05 Speaker 3: I still haven't quite figured. I'm finally getting into the beating through the yellow light rather than slamming on my brakes. 00:48:12 Speaker 2: But you like it. 00:48:14 Speaker 3: It feels good. Let's be honest. It's a little rush. I oh, I'm saving. 00:48:19 Speaker 2: Time and well thrilling when you see it go red just as you pass under it without. 00:48:26 Speaker 3: Kissing the ceiling or whatever. 00:48:28 Speaker 2: No, is that a thing? 00:48:29 Speaker 3: Yeah? I think there's some superstition where you like kiss your hand and then touch the ceiling. Onalise, have you ever heard of this? Analie is shaking their head. Yes, yeah, I think it's the thing. I don't know. Maybe it's good luck, or maybe it's okay, something to I don't know. Maybe you make a wish or something. I don't know, but I do that on occasion, and it feels it's exciting. 00:48:48 Speaker 2: I'm going to add that to my and driving retire. 00:48:51 Speaker 3: You should give it a shot. Make a little wish next time. I mean, people in Los Angeles go through red lights that have been red for forty seconds. I know, I don't feel too bad going through an orange light exactly. Okay, so you definitely have not gotten one right so far. But it's only one, okay. This next one is from a listener named Cameron, and Cameron wants to know gift to a curse restaurants that bring out your order quote as it's ready. 00:49:18 Speaker 2: Mmmm mmm. Oh it's hard because it depends on the restaurant. Oh, I'm gonna say curse because I don't want my main coming out at the same time as my appetizer, because then essentially my appetizer is a side dish. It now changes genres and I'm uncomfortable with that. 00:49:53 Speaker 3: M you got it. Yeah, a total curse. It upsets the natural order. Yeah, there's a reason and that these things are placed in order on the menu from beginning to end. Yes, I don't like it feels kind of like a newer trend. 00:50:07 Speaker 2: Only Okay, if you're eating at a tapas restaurant. 00:50:10 Speaker 3: Well, right, that makes a little more sense. 00:50:12 Speaker 2: Because everything is on an equal playing field. You're more or less ordering appetizers the entire time. 00:50:19 Speaker 3: Everything's kind of a smaller thing, like. 00:50:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's maybe like two sizes of everything small and like a little bit less small. 00:50:27 Speaker 3: And this is why I avoid a tapas restaurant in general. It makes me so nervous. I mean, I've talked about this endlessly on this podcast. Really, the sharing element. I never know how much food I need to know. I need to see the plate of my food. I know that that's all yours, This is all mine. Go crazy, go hogwild. Yeah, at a tapas restaurant, I'm uncomfortable from moment one to the end. 00:50:51 Speaker 2: When you eat at a family style restaurant, and you know this happens every time, It's like a shared situation. There's always the last bite. Oh, the plate that sits there. 00:51:01 Speaker 3: For a long time, just getting colder and colder. 00:51:04 Speaker 2: Are you the person that says I'm gonna take this last by anybody want it or you just you just wait and see how it plays. 00:51:10 Speaker 3: I'm absolutely waiting for every other person to claim it before I do. What about you? 00:51:14 Speaker 2: I claim it? 00:51:15 Speaker 3: So see, you're actually a hero in this situation. 00:51:18 Speaker 2: I really like it. I'm like, anybody want this, Like, if you want this, eat it, because I'm not. I'm gonna eat it. 00:51:25 Speaker 3: Every table needs somebody like that. Yeah, I'm a problem in that situation because I'm I'm contributing to the weird sense of every Clearly everyone wants it, right, someone just speak up and take it to eat it. 00:51:39 Speaker 2: Yes, I there's nothing I hate more when everyone goes oh no, oh no, it's fine, It's you, it's all you get it, And I'm like, no, if you want it, just say you want it, right, just eat it. 00:51:49 Speaker 3: But then what do you what do you do if everyone wants it? 00:51:52 Speaker 2: Then you cut it up into four pieces? 00:51:56 Speaker 3: Big enough for four pieces. 00:51:57 Speaker 2: Well, everyone can have a lick. 00:52:01 Speaker 3: Everyone gets a lick, and then one person gets. 00:52:03 Speaker 2: To choose a solution to every problem. 00:52:08 Speaker 3: Okay, I can't argue with that, And I will say, like family style restaurants, I will. I guess that's a different thing if you go out Chinese or something. I'm more comfortable in that situation because the plates of food are enormous. 00:52:19 Speaker 2: And I don't well, it's a tapa. 00:52:21 Speaker 3: The tapas just makes me crazy. It makes me, it scares me. Not for me, but I'm glad we're on the same page here. Curse bringing it out as it's ready. Yeah, just time it correctly. 00:52:35 Speaker 2: They're called courses for a reason. 00:52:37 Speaker 3: Yes, I'm not. I can't deal with the chaos of that. It's not for me. Okay, So you've gotten one out of two so far, and you can get one more correct or one more wrong. We'll see what happens. And we're just getting I mean, I think this whole list is now listener suggestions. God bless us all. Janey wrote in Gift or a Curse when a when a family member has a baby and somehow that baby is now your uncle. So I you can answer this and we'll discuss. 00:53:09 Speaker 2: Oh, it's a lot to unpack. I don't want to offend anyone. The baby is now your uncle. I'm gonna go with Giffa because it's pretty rare that you get to boss your uncle around and potentially like beat them up a little bit. I mean, I'm saying from a kid's perspective if I was a kid, not like an adult should not uh you know, should be nice to children. Uh, but like a from like a power stance, I'm into. I'm into the role reversal there. I'm into the kind of the power shift the niece, her nephew basically getting to have power over there their uncle. That's so I'm gonna go with gifts. 00:54:06 Speaker 3: You got it? I mean yes, speaking of upsetting the natural order, this is really a wild situation. I'm trying to do. So does this mean? What does this mean? Your grandma and grandpa have a baby late in life? Is that what that means? Shaking their head, nodding their head. 00:54:26 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, that's yes, that's what it is. 00:54:30 Speaker 3: Yes, I don't think that there's any other way of that happening. 00:54:32 Speaker 2: So like your let's say, like your grandparents got divorced at some point, Okay, and then oh, oh, this is in a in a movie. What movie is it? It's like an old movie from the eighties or nineties and he goes to see and I'm trying to think of who the comedic actor is in the in the role I'm thinking of, But he goes to see his father and who's like carrying a baby and he's like, say hi to your uncle. 00:55:05 Speaker 3: So this is a real plot point in a movie. 00:55:07 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, I can't remember it what it is. 00:55:11 Speaker 3: We'll have to look into that. How is that not the whole movie? That's my question. We should all know that movie off the top of her heads, because it's the movie about the baby being an uncle. Uh No, But it's a complete gift. I mean, you have this new it's this new, strange little person in your life who is somehow yeah, your uncle. It's almost Freaky Friday esque. The shift in dynamics there, and you get to you rarely get to teach your uncle, and yeah, it's just something that it's a little thing you can talk about at parties. My mom's eighty nine and she had a baby. 00:55:48 Speaker 2: I gotta go. Baby's at my aunt right now. 00:55:51 Speaker 3: I gotta go, you guys, Yeah, I love it, I absolutely. I mean there probably should be a different word for it. 00:55:59 Speaker 2: Yeah, there should. 00:56:00 Speaker 3: That's an opportunity for our language to expand and evolve. 00:56:05 Speaker 2: And I also feel like there should be a different name for like kid uncles and aunts, like do you know what I mean? Like that have like much older siblings that become an uncle at age like five? 00:56:17 Speaker 3: Oh right right, Yeah, that's another strange was. 00:56:22 Speaker 2: The movie Parenthood? I'm just gonna drive me crazy if I don't ask, Oh, was it parent parenthood? 00:56:29 Speaker 3: But that also happens in Parenthood? 00:56:31 Speaker 2: It does. 00:56:32 Speaker 3: Wow. It was a trend that was kind of the hot thing in the eighties and nineties was to have an uncle baby. Yeah, and now we've kind of forgotten it. And that's why we're trying if we have to do the math in our heads about having a baby that becomes an antroom. 00:56:46 Speaker 2: I want to say, it was like does it all do anything? 00:56:50 Speaker 3: Die Hard? 00:56:51 Speaker 2: Was it? 00:56:51 Speaker 1: It? 00:56:51 Speaker 2: Was like, I don't even know that it was the main character in the movie. Oh, it's gonna bother me. 00:56:57 Speaker 3: And there are listeners right now that are absolutely screaming the title. 00:57:00 Speaker 2: Of the Yeah exactly. 00:57:01 Speaker 3: And I love to drag a listener through a movie. Guess, uh, I wonder what it is. 00:57:06 Speaker 2: I'm like, was it I'm like, and I'm like going through all the guys that were in those movies, right, It's like, either it was Ben Stiller or it was Oh, what's the actor with like the really gravelly voice. 00:57:22 Speaker 3: You're not giving us anything to work on here. That's simply not enough. 00:57:28 Speaker 2: He's always mad in things. 00:57:30 Speaker 3: He's always mad, and his voice is graveling. Thinking thinking now, the listeners probably immediately thought of this person. Wow, to forget about this gravelly voiced, angry man who has an uncle baby, What a shame? What a shame? Yeah, well you got two out of three. Great, you started the game on an huffle note I did. 00:57:54 Speaker 2: What was the first one to give? 00:57:55 Speaker 3: It was the unexpectedly long traffic light. 00:57:57 Speaker 2: Yellow traffic right right right? Yeah? 00:57:59 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but did lead to some discussion about that answer. Well, feel good, good about whatever you want. You lost it. But you did get sixty six percent. You could have done much worse. We've seen worse. You're good at math, No, I'm not. This is you know, one hundred and fifty or something episodes, and I finally kind of got that the math of that, I still struggle. This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I Said No Emails, and people write into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com with problems. Ooh, my listeners have mounting problems in their lives. You know, they've just kind of lost control, and they will turn anywhere for help, even to a podcast, and so they're writing in we hope me answer a question. Yeah, okay, this says Dear Bridger and brilliant guests. That's very nice. I need some help finding a gift for my friend Kyla. Her birthday is coming up and I want to get her something special, But she moved to France and I still live in Washington, so it has to be something I can send overseas. I haven't sent her anything but a small card in the mails since she moved, so I feel like this gift has to say congrats on the move. Also be a housewarming gift, a birthday gift, and since her birthday is close to Christmas, as might as well pile that on two. Oh and it also needs to let her know that I miss her. This is okay. 00:59:21 Speaker 2: Wow. 00:59:22 Speaker 3: We bonded over our love of horses when we worked as wranglers on a farm. Oh, she has good friends with my cat and now has one of her own courtesy of her new boyfriend. We are getting a lot of information. This person has sent in a book proposal. She likes plants, is great at making yummy health food, She bikes everywhere, and loves the outdoors as long as it's warm and preferably sunny, don't we all? I hope that I gave you enough infhoto go on. You gave us so much? 00:59:51 Speaker 2: Is this a TV pilot? 00:59:55 Speaker 3: We're unexpectedly long yellow lighting this. I really appreciate any help you both can offer. Thanks so much, Emma. Okay, So, first of all, it sounds like Emma is extremely cheap because she should be sending She gave us like ten different things she should be giving a gift for and wants to give one gift Birthday Christmas housewarming, Missing you congrats? 01:00:17 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's multiple trying to check all these boxes with one gift, single gift? 01:00:23 Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? 01:00:24 Speaker 2: I mean my gut instinct. Send her a pony, I know, send her the horse. Send her the horse. 01:00:30 Speaker 3: That's the only thing that can cover all of these things. 01:00:33 Speaker 2: Can you send horses internationally? 01:00:35 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know that you want to send one to France. France has a weird history with horses. 01:00:39 Speaker 1: And. 01:00:43 Speaker 2: Okay, don't send a horse. 01:00:44 Speaker 3: You don't send a horse to France. 01:00:46 Speaker 2: Don't send a horse. 01:00:48 Speaker 3: But let's see you said pony. Maybe that's a different situation. Maybe don't send a whole horse, send a pony, Send a pony or something. A horse ad chasin like a mule. 01:01:00 Speaker 2: Mm hmm, a donkey, a donkey. 01:01:03 Speaker 3: Any of these animals will do. I mean a goat coat. 01:01:07 Speaker 2: Goats are amazing. 01:01:10 Speaker 3: Goats are very cute. 01:01:11 Speaker 2: They're so cute and friendly. 01:01:13 Speaker 3: They make a good pet. Well do they kick? Uh? 01:01:17 Speaker 2: They can? But but I uh, my husband had a house in Florida at one point that had like a few acres and he had goats. Oh, and they were so sweet. 01:01:31 Speaker 3: They're very cute. 01:01:32 Speaker 2: Little they wanted to be like petted and rubbed, and they're so. 01:01:36 Speaker 3: Cute and would they eat trash. 01:01:38 Speaker 2: Yes, they keep your yard very clean of all plants and grass, But. 01:01:46 Speaker 3: Don't they also like is this am I imagining this? Don't goats like eat garbage sometimes? 01:01:53 Speaker 1: Yeah? 01:01:53 Speaker 2: I don't. Yeah, I think they'll eat anything. Pigs too, like pigs will really eat anything. 01:02:00 Speaker 3: But I feel like I can imagine a goat eating a can? 01:02:02 Speaker 2: Will a goat eat a can? 01:02:04 Speaker 3: Or sound like something you see in a cartoon that's dangerous cat finding like a skeleton of a fish in a garbage can? Maybe this is something I learned from Looney tunes. Maybe that feels like bad information. 01:02:15 Speaker 2: They take down like a cactus. Oh really, Yes, they'll just eat like whatever. 01:02:22 Speaker 3: Why is that? Why do goats do that? 01:02:25 Speaker 2: I don't know. They're not all the time, and they just eat all the plants. 01:02:30 Speaker 3: Well, so you could send a goat to France, I mean there, so we've kind of they are like five different things here, and each of those is probably at least a fifty dollars gift. How much could a goat possibly call? 01:02:41 Speaker 2: Curiously send some nice stuff for her new cat? 01:02:45 Speaker 3: That's true, she has a new cat with a new boyfriend. We don't know if he's French. Or not. It's interesting that the boyfriend sounds suspicious to me. It sounds like he's an interloper. He's just arrived in this woman's life and she's in France, and something about that is a little makes me a little uneasy. 01:03:03 Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit of a red flag there. 01:03:05 Speaker 3: But send a cat condo. 01:03:07 Speaker 2: Oh, send a cat condo. 01:03:09 Speaker 3: I'm sure you could get one of those to France. I mean the I don't know what budget we're working with. That would have been the reason. 01:03:15 Speaker 2: That would have been. 01:03:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, she was so happy to provide way too much. There's a motorcycle that's exciting. 01:03:23 Speaker 4: Um. 01:03:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, she she failed the writing of this email in a huge way. Yeah, she should have said, dear Bridger and brilliant guest, my friend moved to France. I've got five hundred dollars. What should I do exactly? But she was so concerned about. 01:03:37 Speaker 2: Too many parameters. 01:03:39 Speaker 3: She knows too much. The listener now knows too much, but really solved the issue. Yes, some sort of livestock cat condo and maybe a card that says miss you. Yeah, failing all. 01:03:54 Speaker 2: Those things written card, Yeah goes a long. 01:03:57 Speaker 3: Way, goes a very long way. And obviously you're very cheap. She's cheap. She's avoiding sending too many gifts. You might as well just send a card. Yeah, the friend is going to know you don't care either way, serious, because she's gonna say, why didn't she send me dozens of gifts? Emma, you've failed us and you failed your friend. I'm glad she's moved that. There's a reason she moved to France. 01:04:20 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my. 01:04:23 Speaker 3: God, Melissa, we answered the question perfectly. I now have this hyper specific Christmas ornament that is truly so we'll have some pictures on Instagram, obviously, but this is irresponsible spending on the capital's part. 01:04:38 Speaker 2: Shocking. I know this is where. 01:04:40 Speaker 3: Most of our taxes are going, is to these bizarre ornaments that I'm going to Maybe I'll run for Congress at some point and this will be my platform. No more ornaments, no more ornamance, cut the fat with the ornaments. 01:04:55 Speaker 2: The reason public education is so poor in this country because they're decorat in that box. 01:05:03 Speaker 6: Ridiculous And I can't wait for you to hang it up on your tree, absolutely going on the tree right in the front. I've had such a wonderful time with you. Thank you, so much for being here. 01:05:14 Speaker 3: Thank you and listener, Oh, we've come to the end of the podcast. I thought I was going to have to put on a coat at some point, but I didn't. It's pretty cold, but I made it through with just two shirts. So that's kind of what been my private struggle. And I hope that you weren't. You know what sacrifices I'm making for you. And now it's time for you to go on with your day. I hope you have a wonderful time. We're here in December. Happy holidays, I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Annalise Neilson, and it's beautifully mixed by Leanna Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest book kirk Patrick Cottoner. The theme song, of course, could only come from a miracle worker, Amy Man. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? 01:06:19 Speaker 2: The lie invit did you hear. 01:06:23 Speaker 1: Funna made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your own presences, presence in. And I already had too much stuff. 01:06:45 Speaker 3: So how do you dare to survey me?