WEBVTT - Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Meatball Magic

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<v Speaker 1>Don't answer the phone.

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<v Speaker 2>Elvis Duran.

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<v Speaker 3>The Elvis Duran phone tap The return of Michael Oppenheimer.

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<v Speaker 3>Listen to this email. Dear Elvis Duran. Dominic Palmary hates telemarketers.

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<v Speaker 3>He despises them so much. One night he went out

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<v Speaker 3>and bought that Tella Zapper, that thing you hook up

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<v Speaker 3>to your phone line to help prevent phone marketers from

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<v Speaker 3>getting through. Well, now he gets annoyed when the machine

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't work. He spent all that money and they still

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<v Speaker 3>get through. This is a job for Michael Oppenheimer. He

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<v Speaker 3>should be the next telemarketer to break through the Tella

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<v Speaker 3>Zapper barrier. This comes to us from a NET. Now

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<v Speaker 3>ANETT wants us to play this phone tap on. Dominic

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<v Speaker 3>Palmary Scary is going to play the part of Michael Oppenheimer.

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<v Speaker 1>A NETT will be listening in on the call. Here

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<v Speaker 1>we go a good morning. Listen to mister Michael oppenheimen

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<v Speaker 1>with Onday dot Com.

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<v Speaker 4>How are you doing today's sir? Okay, we're here with

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<v Speaker 4>a wonderful product called Meatball Magic.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, I'm on a do not call list. Please we

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<v Speaker 5>move my from you and Liz.

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<v Speaker 4>We don't have any record of that at this time, sir,

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<v Speaker 4>you can make your own meatballs in minutes and store them.

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<v Speaker 5>No, I'm not. I'm really not interested in it.

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<v Speaker 1>A meatball magic is in meeting.

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<v Speaker 5>There's no reason to go on, sir. I'm not interested

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<v Speaker 5>in your product, but.

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<v Speaker 1>You could make nine meatballs in just seconds, Sir.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't need meatballs?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you Italian?

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<v Speaker 5>Sir? I'm sorry?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you Italian?

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<v Speaker 5>Well?

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<v Speaker 1>This is mister Michael Oppenheimer from dot com.

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<v Speaker 5>You just called me, sir.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess we didn't finish our conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>Sir, No we did.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm not interested in the product.

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<v Speaker 4>You can easily shape ground meat into perfect spheres as.

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<v Speaker 5>Long as they're tasty and they fill me up. That's

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<v Speaker 5>okay that the shape doesn't matter.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you going to order one of our metal now?

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm not leave me alone?

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<v Speaker 1>Italians and meatballs go hand in hand.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, but I.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't need your magic meatball maker.

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<v Speaker 5>Please stop calling. You start to make me aggubated.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, what is your credit card at this time the

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<v Speaker 1>cold day.

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<v Speaker 5>Of freaking hell, I give you my credit card number.

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<v Speaker 1>All I need now is your credit card.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not giving you my credit card. Well, an idiot

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<v Speaker 2>send it to your house. Say to you that can

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<v Speaker 2>call over your house for Sunday dinner and you can

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<v Speaker 2>make the magic meatballs.

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<v Speaker 1>So can I have your credit card number? This time?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna hang out watch I already told you that.

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<v Speaker 1>Why not, sir?

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<v Speaker 2>Because my meatballs are good as they are? You know

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<v Speaker 2>I would make our meatballs.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you do that? Sir?

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<v Speaker 2>I swallow a handful of chop meat, and then I

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<v Speaker 2>press really hard. I pushed. You push your push, and

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<v Speaker 2>then they come out perfectly round.

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<v Speaker 1>There's the other end that's not very sanitary, sir.

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<v Speaker 5>Ah, Yeah, no doub because you start to make me aggravated.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey where do you live, sir by? Where do you live?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, that's what you seem to be getting disconnected.

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<v Speaker 2>This is I know you are, buddy. This is like

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<v Speaker 2>the fourth time you call me the last fifteen minutes.

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<v Speaker 1>You take some ground chop meat.

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<v Speaker 2>I listen, I'm calling the phone company to file a charge.

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<v Speaker 2>You take the meatballs, take the meatballs, star down your

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<v Speaker 2>throat so you don't have to call me anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>So you press the meat yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and then you press your face up against the

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<v Speaker 2>wall so you look like a squashed meat ball.

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<v Speaker 1>When you lift the plates are all perfectly rounded.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, yeah, for a perfectly sphiracle, right like your brain

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<v Speaker 2>with nothing in it.

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<v Speaker 1>How would you like to order at this time?

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<v Speaker 2>So you give me twenty of them? Twenty album I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna make nine out of time, so it's ire and

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<v Speaker 2>eighty meat balls.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm holding for your credit card.

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<v Speaker 2>Obviously, r O. The word no means I'm not interested

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<v Speaker 2>in a stupid thing. City Mark. You kill him, we

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<v Speaker 2>kill him.

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<v Speaker 1>Good morning. This is mister michael do hurt?

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<v Speaker 2>What is this?

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<v Speaker 1>This is mister Michael off and ask you about that

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<v Speaker 1>my cough.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, here's what I here's what I did of your

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<v Speaker 2>magic meatballs. Listen to this, you know that is what

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<v Speaker 2>that's my toiler ball.

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<v Speaker 1>So that would be a colossal waste the magic.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah I know, I know.

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<v Speaker 2>Well that's what goes in there, colossal waste. Come on,

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<v Speaker 2>will cut it.

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<v Speaker 1>Out now, sir. This is mister Michael.

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<v Speaker 2>I know who to break this is. Cut it out.

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<v Speaker 1>This is actually Skewy Jones. When you've been phone tapped.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, oh my god. Yeah, this was on

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<v Speaker 2>the radio.

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<v Speaker 1>This was all the nets idea and that Hi you.

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<v Speaker 5>Got me, you got me. The guy was a paint

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<v Speaker 5>in the neck.

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<v Speaker 2>You want to let me go?

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<v Speaker 1>The Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tab was pre

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<v Speaker 1>recorded with permission granted by all participants.

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<v Speaker 3>The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in

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<v Speaker 3>the Morning Show