WEBVTT - Episode 340: 50th Birthday Special (Feat. AJ Johnson) 0:00:02.440 --> 0:00:06.560 List service? So what is appless? Angela Yee, I'm GJ. Maguire, 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:10.080 I'm Stephanie Santiago, I'm Laura Maura, and I'm A. J. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:15.120 Johnson is here And I know y'all have been watching 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:17.840 TV when Life Therapy, and of course we know you 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:19.640 from so many things. And I was just talking to 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:23.119 you about a conversation that we had with DJ Andy 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:24.439 when he said he wouldn't want to know if his 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:26.240 wife cheated on him, and we were trying to figure 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:29.120 out what is it that like? Is that is that 0:00:29.160 --> 0:00:31.240 most men do they not want to know? I think 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:33.120 they don't want to know they can't handle. Have you 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:35.519 have men ever told you that they don't want to know, Like, 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:38.440 not not necessarily your man, but just men. Have they 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:40.199 told you if you were if a woman that they 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:42.280 were interested with cheating, they wouldn't want to know. So 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:45.600 when I'm talking to now he um he's a friend 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:48.000 of mine, and I tell him, I'm like, yo, your 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:50.680 girl don't mind you coming home four or five, six 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:52.479 in the morning. He's like no. I was like, what 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:53.840 about her? Do you want? He was like, I don't 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:56.720 ask no questions. What are you talking to? You met 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:59.320 you no, I'm not talking to him, said when I 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:06.080 look at too, you know, but yeah, I was like, 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.720 she doesn't mind. He's like no, I'm like, do you 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:10.600 ask her questions? He's like, no, I don't want to 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:13.800 want to know. What you think that is? They can't 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:15.400 take it. They can dish it, but they can't because 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:18.040 they know what they're doing, and so they also don't 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:19.759 want you to ask them too many questions. I think 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:22.080 that's part of it, Like I'm doing what I'm doing. 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:23.959 If if I start asking you questions and then you 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.880 start asking me questions, now I gotta tell my ship too. 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.280 Do you feel like that's an element of like not 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:33.160 being truthful and honest or do you feel like I 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:34.720 just don't want to know, means I just don't want 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:36.680 to know, You know what I mean? I feel like 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:38.759 I don't want I just don't want to know. Means 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.280 I just don't want to know. I feel like not 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:45.199 telling us better than lying. Do you do you feel 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:46.960 the same way I don't want to know. I don't 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:49.080 want to, Like, I'm not the type of person who's 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:52.560 gonna look through a phone or try to find things 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.520 that I'm not aren't supposed to you know, force things 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:58.480 into my eyes. Yeah, it's that whole which you don't 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:02.840 know won't hurt you. Yeah, I like that. But here right, 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:05.200 but here's the thing. Once I do find out anything, now, 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:07.960 I want to every detail. So I see, I probably 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.160 rather not because I'm gonna go obsessively crazy but trying 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:14.799 to figure every little part of it out rather But 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:17.280 here's my thoughts on it. Right, if I feel like 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:20.480 you're doing something, then you're not doing it very good 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:22.960 and I want to know. However, if I feel like 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:25.440 everything is smooth and I don't feel like you're doing anything, 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:27.679 I won't go looking for it. I was gonna say. 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:29.239 We kind of talked about this we were on the 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.280 show because I feel the same way. It's like, if 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:33.880 I don't feel a picture my soul and I think 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:36.760 everything's fine, then I don't go looking. But sometimes I've 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:39.639 had that that I think everything's fine and it wasn't fine, 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:42.320 I don't go looking. But at the same time, I 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:44.679 just kind of feel like, if I'm comfortable and I 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:46.880 feel like you're being honest, then I'm just gonna ride 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:48.840 with that. Yeah, because you know they always say if 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:54.280 you go looking for something, you're fine. Yeah, because I mean, 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:56.040 I don't go through phones. I don't like to go 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:59.040 and I tell guys don't go through my phone because 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:01.120 when you look for something and you're gonna find it, 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:05.240 it may not be anything, but because you're making I'm 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:08.040 not giving about my phone here, you couldn't look through it. 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.720 But that's me being ignorant, because every time a guy 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:14.080 has looked through my phone, even when I think it's 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:17.639 everything and there is harmless, they find something because you're 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:22.840 looking for about so you're manifesting something. But then I added, too, 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:24.760 if you look through my phone, I've had it happened 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:27.640 to me two times, right, I had two different guys 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:29.680 ever in my life that I know of, look through 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:33.040 my phone. It kind of feels like such a violationship 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.280 because there's stuffinite that might not have nothing to do 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:38.280 with you. But you don't need to be seeing all 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:40.840 my business or my friends business too, that they may 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:42.640 not want you to know. Now you know all this 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.080 stuff that was none of your business because you went 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:48.760 through my phone. You didn't want to say as a 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:52.280 new year thing, what would you say, and I'm asking 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.760 this just as girlfriends, what would you say would be 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:58.400 the new thing? You would add to your relationship to 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:03.360 keep it honest and open open meaning open communication. If 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:06.080 there's something new that you would add like like, you 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:08.240 wouldn't you wouldn't want anybody looking at your in the phone, 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:10.839 right right, But is there something new in the new 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:13.160 year that you would say, this is going to add 0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:15.800 to our connection, this is going to add to our communication. 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:22.280 What would it be something new for myself? I don't know, 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:26.119 very like I could tend to be very private about 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:29.760 my finances sometimes and I don't know that that's but 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:33.840 I'm also not married. But would you were open if 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:36.800 I was married? Yeah? But about now? I also feel 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:39.760 like in general, not right now, just I talk about 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:41.839 some things but not everything. But I also feel like 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:44.240 everybody doesn't need to know everything about what's going on 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:48.160 with you financially, you know, because sometimes people think like 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:50.400 Adie are doing really well. You're not doing as well 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:53.120 as they, you know, my thought you were. But when 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:55.120 people feel like you have money, they feel like more 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:58.840 entitled to things. I feel like too, how about you guys? 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:00.640 Or they feel like you don't need need help? Yeah, 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:02.320 they feel like you don't. I can't do anything here 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:10.000 me too. I'm actually in a semi new relationship. I 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:11.760 don't know, it's like seven eight months and but new 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:15.359 compared to my past. And it's weird because I feel 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:18.240 like we're so our communication is so on point, and 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:20.720 we're so like, do you just talk about this everything 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:23.000 anything that I can't even think of anything besides like 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:26.640 maybe finances. But again, do you know his credit score? No, 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:28.839 but I know it's really good, or like, you know 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.320 how much he has in the bank, how much he 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:32.680 makes it? Does you know yours? Because I saw when 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:36.240 he doesn't know about finances that being the number one 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:38.280 reason that he knows my credit score because we're working 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:41.279 on some real estate business together. So we talked about 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.240 that type of thing, and I know that he mean, 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:45.919 he's like very well off, so I know that his 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:49.160 things are in order. So that's kind of like, uh, 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:51.919 because sometimes we also assume things are in order. I 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.720 had a um somebody who I grew up with, and 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:57.360 her father passed away, and they seen they her family 0:05:57.440 --> 0:05:59.520 was about off, but they didn't know he didn't have 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:01.240 it to get there like they thought he did. And 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:06.720 now yeah, we're here. Because sometimes people seem like they 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:09.520 got it together, but they don't have life insurance, or 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:12.119 they don't have that savings, or they don't have a plan, 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:14.920 and so while they're here, they're bringing in the money. 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.760 But then and if anything got left to the people 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.320 you think it's left to, it gets real deep. And 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.240 spending habits are important to if people are aligned, Like 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:25.440 some people are more flussy about what they might buy 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.599 and what's important. And I have I know people who 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:32.279 buy their own clothes at Target because you know, they're 0:06:32.360 --> 0:06:34.360 thrifty because they have kids that they're sending to school, 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.640 paying for education. But then the husband goes down and 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:38.560 buys the flat screen TV in a brand new car, 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:42.440 you know, So it is important to talk about those 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:44.400 things and see how the lines you are so you 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:46.840 didn't come up with your you know, I'm sitting here 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:49.400 listening and thinking, and y'all got quiet on me, some 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:53.040 waiting for you too, because I'm gonna be honest, I think, 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:55.440 you know, because my whole big thing is new in 0:06:55.440 --> 0:06:57.479 the new year, like not only just you know, on 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:00.200 the show, but with my own life and these nets 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:03.240 I'm doing. And I gotta be honest, I think I'm 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:09.080 more open to less monogamy. I know, right that's happening lately, 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:13.040 I don't. I don't know if I'm as as much 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:16.000 of a stickler as a monog in a monogamous relationship 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:19.440 as i've been. I'm a monogamous woman. I prefer just 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:22.840 a one on one relationship, but I've also been in 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.920 situations where I thought it was monogamous and it wasn't, 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:29.520 and so I'm just wondering. I'm not a relationship now, 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:31.360 but I'm just wondering the part of that is lying 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:34.960 to think it wasn't. It wasn't because if somebody came 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.400 to you and was like, like, here's the thing every 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:40.360 now and then, right, you would be okay with it. Maybe, well, 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:42.040 I think now that's what I'm saying. I kind of 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:45.000 want to try just saying it's fine if we're not monogamous. 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:46.840 You're into me, I'm into you. As long as we're 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:49.520 in each other, let's less rock and roll and of 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:52.560 course keeping each other safe sexually whatever that means. But 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:54.800 in terms of just interested in other people, spending time 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:58.360 with other people, I'm kind of over pretending that it's 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:01.880 me and you and it's guy. I wasn't talking about 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:03.920 you know what I mean. I was just talking about this, 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:06.920 like I've always been that person that I wanted to 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:09.760 be just me and one person and I want them 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:12.400 to love me the way I love them and all 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:15.120 of that stuff. But lately I've just been thinking about 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:20.320 like the Polly life, and you know, I can't do it. 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:24.240 I don't know if I could either, but I've given 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:27.080 it a thought because I think are open for somebody 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:30.520 to really develop feelings for someone else, right and then 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.360 right so you don't know if that can happen or not. 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:35.959 And then also like are they going to really be honest? 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:37.080 You like, what are you doing on me? And the 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.240 senses there at the movies or I'm going to dinner, 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:41.360 But you're the other side of it, though they could 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:43.960 also be doing that anyway and telling you there monogamous. 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:46.200 So that's why I'm trying to forgether. You not do 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:51.160 it and be monogamous. Don't do it. I'm also go 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:54.840 easing on the monogamy thing, but it's like you do that. 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:56.960 You're even telling that to a guy. I wouldn't want 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:59.760 a man to be so comfortable where he's telling me 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:02.520 the about the other women he's dating and things like that, 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:05.160 because would you want to know everything else that's going on, 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:06.680 or would you want him to just be like I 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:08.920 do see other people, or would you want details? Well 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:11.960 I kind of also think not to not to negate 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:14.679 the question, but I just think that if we as 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:19.360 women are not monogamous, I think it shifts men. I 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:21.640 think men are used to us being a monogamous person 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.760 and the relationship, and if we say, well, you know what, 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:28.240 it's cool, I think it shifts the whole dynamic from 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:35.080 their perspective. Gun bad. Yeah again, I'm new, I'm but 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:37.920 you know, I feel like guys want to be with 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:39.880 whoever they want to be with, and they don't want 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:44.400 you to be with anybody else. And the men say, 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:47.120 you know, are you called with another woman? I say, well, 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:49.520 the question is are you cold with me and your friend? Right? 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:51.960 And all of a sudden that's been a whole another thing. 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:55.280 And I said, so it's a problem. It's your boy, 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.839 that's a problem. See that's what I'm trying to figure out, 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:02.120 Like what what's really the problem? They can't take it again, 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:03.720 they could this ship, but they can't take it. And 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:07.080 you know, right nowadays people are always talking about toxic relationships, toxic, 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.760 this toxic whatever. What makes the relationship toxic. You think, like, 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:15.839 what are some examples you want to go first? You know, 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:20.360 it's one of those most toxic things that I went 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:22.760 through in my last relationship and didn't realize it until 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:24.800 I was out of it. And you know this Angela, 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.360 when he would be upset at me, he would just 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:30.000 like shut down completely and like not speak to me 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:33.040 at all instead of working through whatever his issue was. 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:37.160 And I think that that is like, yeah, the silent treatment. 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:38.480 I will get it all the time. Remember the time 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.800 I called you like you was just like, oh I 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:45.360 saw him yesterday. I'm like like two weeks yeah, and 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:48.360 this and this like that. After the fact, like in hindsight, 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:51.880 I realized that that was such crazy toxic energy, right 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:54.800 because people would say arguing and all of that is toxic, 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.920 but really like not saying anything at all. Yeah, I'm 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:01.840 gonna say this because I'm into you. For me, the 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:05.800 toxic is letting something I don't like or I'm not 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:09.200 comfortable go beyond the one time. Like a lot of 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:11.640 people will say, do you give second and third chances? 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:13.319 And I want to ask you, guys, if you do 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:18.320 in two I'm not like, like you should know, you know, 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:20.800 you know who I am, what I'm about, And by 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:22.400 the time we get to a point where we're together 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:24.800 or even just friendship, it's like, why don't need to 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:28.840 give you two to three chances to to It's like, 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:31.120 you know, where in the stage now in life where 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:33.760 it's like we're supposed to be valuing each other and 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.240 respecting each other, you know, as friends as well as 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:38.480 an interpersonal relationship. So why don't I need to give 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:40.760 you two or three times to not respect me? And 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:44.480 when you say friends importantly, like in relationships, that's supposed 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:46.480 to be like your best friends. And so why do 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:48.480 you treat me worse than you would teach your best friends? 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.480 You know? Because I, yeah, I agree with that, because 0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:54.160 I think I'm a really way to People tell me 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:58.000 all the time I'm way too nice. Yeah, And I 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:00.120 think you'd be like you Capricorn. I think you be 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:02.600 like Nope. But the thing about me is I'm nice. 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.480 But then once I get to a certain point, is 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:08.320 over for me. Like I get people like you know, 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:10.600 the benefit of the doubt all the time I give 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:14.080 them multiple chances, and somehow people will try to paint 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.280 me as like the bad person. People play this whole 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.480 like victim thing where you could do everything for somebody 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:22.360 and then all of a sudden, right you stop doing 0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:24.840 something and you're the worst persons in the world, in 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.199 the world. And so I had to realize and that 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:28.880 is something that I decided that I have to be 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:33.120 better at, is identifying when people are treating me shitty 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.840 early on and just saying you know what, I'm not. 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.520 I can't do it anymore because it's too draining for me. 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:42.120 I have so much going on and I've wasted so 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:46.640 much time in situations with people who didn't respect right me, 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:50.880 don't respect, don't honor. So are you saying it's one 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:55.319 chance and either you you what it is? Though, because people, 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:58.240 I do believe that people deserve some grace depending if 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:00.720 you can. I'm good with if I can talk to 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:03.240 you about something and you can receive it and say, 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.719 you know what, I didn't look at it. That I 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:10.600 believe in that. But I also believe if something happens 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:14.199 between us and then I know you're sucked up. Everybody 0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:17.280 else knows it, but you're still like posting subs on 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:20.959 social media, talking crazy, having it like I can't deal 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:24.040 with that because that's immature to me. And that's also like, 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:26.520 all right, that is what it is. I don't trust you, 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:29.000 Like that's dangerous to me. Yeah, I mean that that 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:32.240 that sounds like you're right, like if this miscommunication, I 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:34.360 think that's different. But then there's other times where I 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.560 feel like you kind of know soul deep when it's 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:42.520 manipulation but women's disrespect, or when somebody's not valuing you. 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:44.760 And sometimes I think what we have a tendency to 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:47.239 do is say, well, maybe that was just the situation. 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:49.160 Let's just keep going because you have a history of 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:53.599 the person. Yeah, right, because you want the friendship or relationships, 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:55.880 Like you know, they've had a tough time and I 0:13:56.000 --> 0:14:00.360 understand that. So I'm not doing that anymore. Like when 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:03.599 you give somebody another chance to it just gives no 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:07.360 permission to keep on doing the same way. Now, what 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:10.520 about in the bedroom, right, let's switch over to that 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:19.800 for a second. How can you approach somebody to do 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:22.200 to try something that they might not have ever done 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:24.760 before and you feel uncomfortable kind of asking them to 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:32.080 why are you smelling, Laura? Because there's some things we've 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:35.880 talked about previous episodes, and I'm like, you know, why 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:39.920 I don't know if the right one comes. So I'm 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.320 building friendship. You guys were talking about friendship. I'm dealing 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:44.520 with someone now and I told him it's very important 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:47.440 that we develop a friendship first. So when you get mad, 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.440 don't ghost me, because if you ghost me, I'm gonna 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.640 be like, it's like, I'm not going to keep looking 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:54.760 for you. So let's first build a friendship and maybe 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:58.240 I'll end up following when we developed into because I 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:00.160 know you now in a difference, like that's all of 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:04.200 my friends. No, I mean, we're gonna evolved into a 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:08.280 relationship eventually, and maybe you'll be the one because now 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:11.600 we know each other, like we're friends. You're not. I'm 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.880 not gonna swallow the next week, I'm hearing that Maria 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:18.800 swallowing YouTube, and so it's just I want. I want 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:25.520 to build respect before you swallow, respect before you swallow. Swallow. Yet, 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:32.520 how about you, guys, ever, until they come, that's when 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:35.440 you swallow. To me, it's like you did all that. 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:39.680 Now I'm gonna not swallow. But don't don't surprise yourself. 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:44.640 My advice is like you know when a man's about 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:49.080 to come, and like you can feel when he's about to. Yes, 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:53.080 So when you feel that, like, take it as far 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:59.040 back as you can, so straight to your throat. So wait, 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.360 so I did think of about gagging and swallowing at 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:04.320 the state if the taste might make you guy, that's 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.160 why if you put it behind your throat, you're not 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:09.200 gonna taste anything. But but hold on, we had to 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.640 put down a little bit because what do you mean 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:18.880 the taste? The taste, that's anything ything. It depends on 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.400 how he could be the you know, you never never 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.320 had it there, so you never know how your body's 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:27.000 going to make sure. If not, yeah, if he's not 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.760 a healthy eater, it can taste a little spunky, a 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:33.360 little funky, but it could taste like nothing, you know, 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:39.800 like a lot. I mean again, that depends on the guy. 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:43.080 That's what I'm saying. When the last time he had 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:46.040 lady playing on swallowing it, you weren't gonna play with it, 0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:49.480 spit it back out. You already playing on swallowing it. 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:56.800 Here's my question exactly. So if you're so, I'm a swallower, yes, 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.480 So what's the point of giving head if you're not swallowing? 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:07.399 I thought that was part of it that guy's eating 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:10.200 on your pussy and then he just stops right before you. 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:11.800 He knows you're about to come. Isn't they going to 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:15.040 fucking fish you off? Right? Or he made? He made? 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:18.800 He moves his face. Imagine a guy moves his face 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:22.120 and finishes you with his hand. Right. But the one thing, 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:27.199 it's a big disconnect. Yeah, where do you want me 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:30.840 to drop this load? Yeah? I've had that. I was like, 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:33.760 not on my face, not in my mouth. You sound 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:39.360 like fun, I'm a face? Do you not want him 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:40.600 to be? It was just like, don't do it in 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:42.720 my face? On my oh my god, that's that's my 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.960 number one. When when it's from the back, like you know, 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:50.080 my back and my ass, but just no, not in 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:52.560 I don't care what you going to figure out how 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:54.879 to get my face at the time coming out, I 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.480 feel like I feel like even if I want him 0:17:57.520 --> 0:17:59.600 to come somewhere else, if a guy asked me, where 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:05.919 do you want to come? First? Ask somebody? Love it? 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:10.679 You don't really mean it exactly. I mean it can 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:16.119 we acknowledge the nutritional quality of that? It's good for 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:20.320 your I mean, you know it's it's straight prouty, so 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.920 all I'm saying it's one waste the protea to hand 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:28.200 because I want to know. But you gotta protect your eyes, 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:32.720 especially if you have yes, it could definitely burn your eyes. 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:36.000 Yeah you know comment you no matter what clean or 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:38.359 dirty is, it will burn. But if your swallowhen it 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:42.719 doesn't get in your eyes. It's me, I'm not man. 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:45.520 And then it's and it's nice because like you do 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:47.879 it and then you keep doing it even because guys, 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.040 I don't know if they love it, their hate it, 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:53.159 hate when they love how you or what like if 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:55.320 they come and use you keep going, Yeah, and you 0:18:55.359 --> 0:19:01.520 know they drives them crazy. I think they're extra sensitive 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:04.119 once they can't. But I think they also feel like 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:06.800 it's really freaky if you just can't get enough to 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:09.680 keep going. Because like first, if a guy's eating you 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:11.280 out and you can do you want him to keep 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:23.080 going when you're about to ruin it. I don't like, 0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:26.400 don't play during sex. You guys understand that, like sto 0:19:27.040 --> 0:19:32.440 keep moving, it's just the whole move. Are there men 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:35.360 that have said they don't like to get hit? Yes, 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:43.520 a man that has said please don't Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:45.639 I don't believe it that means I haven't did it 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:48.879 done right exactly because I didn't think I used to 0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:50.439 like it, Like I didn't think I used to like 0:19:50.480 --> 0:19:53.160 get in out because the first like a couple of times, 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:54.879 the guy that did it to me was not good, 0:19:55.400 --> 0:19:57.479 So I didn't think it was good, and so I 0:19:57.520 --> 0:19:59.160 was just like after that, I was like, I don't 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:01.359 like that until somebody did it right and he's like, 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:06.199 oh yeah. So when you guys give head, do you 0:20:06.320 --> 0:20:09.520 use like tools and tricks? Have you turned it into 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.720 like this is for you too? What have you used? 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:21.080 Like jewelry and hand motions and corn Yeah, I'm interested 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:26.480 in ice like pearl necklaces and textures. You know you 0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:28.960 wrapped you wrapped the dick with a pearl necklace and 0:20:29.080 --> 0:20:41.120 you know yeah right, because well right right exactly. Yeah, 0:20:41.760 --> 0:20:44.199 you know, trying some jewelry and hand movements and the 0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:50.720 double hand dressers. Yeah. I do to sound like I'm 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:53.280 an expert, but at the same time, well am I 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:55.800 because I went to it. I've gone to parties. I'm 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:57.840 blaming this on t Camp, but she's gonna die because 0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:04.280 I'm calling her name every I'm telling parties parties we 0:21:04.680 --> 0:21:06.480 have you know, there's an author. I think your name 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:08.760