Speaker 1: List service? So what is appless? Angela Yee, I'm GJ. Maguire,
Speaker 1: I'm Stephanie Santiago, I'm Laura Maura, and I'm A. J.
Speaker 1: Johnson is here And I know y'all have been watching
Speaker 1: TV when Life Therapy, and of course we know you
Speaker 1: from so many things. And I was just talking to
Speaker 1: you about a conversation that we had with DJ Andy
Speaker 1: when he said he wouldn't want to know if his
Speaker 1: wife cheated on him, and we were trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what is it that like? Is that is that
Speaker 1: most men do they not want to know? I think
Speaker 1: they don't want to know they can't handle. Have you
Speaker 1: have men ever told you that they don't want to know, Like,
Speaker 1: not not necessarily your man, but just men. Have they
Speaker 1: told you if you were if a woman that they
Speaker 1: were interested with cheating, they wouldn't want to know. So
Speaker 1: when I'm talking to now he um he's a friend
Speaker 1: of mine, and I tell him, I'm like, yo, your
Speaker 1: girl don't mind you coming home four or five, six
Speaker 1: in the morning. He's like no. I was like, what
Speaker 1: about her? Do you want? He was like, I don't
Speaker 1: ask no questions. What are you talking to? You met
Speaker 1: you no, I'm not talking to him, said when I
Speaker 1: look at too, you know, but yeah, I was like,
Speaker 1: she doesn't mind. He's like no, I'm like, do you
Speaker 1: ask her questions? He's like, no, I don't want to
Speaker 1: want to know. What you think that is? They can't
Speaker 1: take it. They can dish it, but they can't because
Speaker 1: they know what they're doing, and so they also don't
Speaker 1: want you to ask them too many questions. I think
Speaker 1: that's part of it, Like I'm doing what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: If if I start asking you questions and then you
Speaker 1: start asking me questions, now I gotta tell my ship too.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like that's an element of like not
Speaker 1: being truthful and honest or do you feel like I
Speaker 1: just don't want to know, means I just don't want
Speaker 1: to know, You know what I mean? I feel like
Speaker 1: I don't want I just don't want to know. Means
Speaker 1: I just don't want to know. I feel like not
Speaker 1: telling us better than lying. Do you do you feel
Speaker 1: the same way I don't want to know. I don't
Speaker 1: want to, Like, I'm not the type of person who's
Speaker 1: gonna look through a phone or try to find things
Speaker 1: that I'm not aren't supposed to you know, force things
Speaker 1: into my eyes. Yeah, it's that whole which you don't
Speaker 1: know won't hurt you. Yeah, I like that. But here right,
Speaker 1: but here's the thing. Once I do find out anything, now,
Speaker 1: I want to every detail. So I see, I probably
Speaker 1: rather not because I'm gonna go obsessively crazy but trying
Speaker 1: to figure every little part of it out rather But
Speaker 1: here's my thoughts on it. Right, if I feel like
Speaker 1: you're doing something, then you're not doing it very good
Speaker 1: and I want to know. However, if I feel like
Speaker 1: everything is smooth and I don't feel like you're doing anything,
Speaker 1: I won't go looking for it. I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: We kind of talked about this we were on the
Speaker 1: show because I feel the same way. It's like, if
Speaker 1: I don't feel a picture my soul and I think
Speaker 1: everything's fine, then I don't go looking. But sometimes I've
Speaker 1: had that that I think everything's fine and it wasn't fine,
Speaker 1: I don't go looking. But at the same time, I
Speaker 1: just kind of feel like, if I'm comfortable and I
Speaker 1: feel like you're being honest, then I'm just gonna ride
Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, because you know they always say if
Speaker 1: you go looking for something, you're fine. Yeah, because I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't go through phones. I don't like to go
Speaker 1: and I tell guys don't go through my phone because
Speaker 1: when you look for something and you're gonna find it,
Speaker 1: it may not be anything, but because you're making I'm
Speaker 1: not giving about my phone here, you couldn't look through it.
Speaker 1: But that's me being ignorant, because every time a guy
Speaker 1: has looked through my phone, even when I think it's
Speaker 1: everything and there is harmless, they find something because you're
Speaker 1: looking for about so you're manifesting something. But then I added, too,
Speaker 1: if you look through my phone, I've had it happened
Speaker 1: to me two times, right, I had two different guys
Speaker 1: ever in my life that I know of, look through
Speaker 1: my phone. It kind of feels like such a violationship
Speaker 1: because there's stuffinite that might not have nothing to do
Speaker 1: with you. But you don't need to be seeing all
Speaker 1: my business or my friends business too, that they may
Speaker 1: not want you to know. Now you know all this
Speaker 1: stuff that was none of your business because you went
Speaker 1: through my phone. You didn't want to say as a
Speaker 1: new year thing, what would you say, and I'm asking
Speaker 1: this just as girlfriends, what would you say would be
Speaker 1: the new thing? You would add to your relationship to
Speaker 1: keep it honest and open open meaning open communication. If
Speaker 1: there's something new that you would add like like, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't you wouldn't want anybody looking at your in the phone,
Speaker 1: right right, But is there something new in the new
Speaker 1: year that you would say, this is going to add
Speaker 1: to our connection, this is going to add to our communication.
Speaker 1: What would it be something new for myself? I don't know,
Speaker 1: very like I could tend to be very private about
Speaker 1: my finances sometimes and I don't know that that's but
Speaker 1: I'm also not married. But would you were open if
Speaker 1: I was married? Yeah? But about now? I also feel
Speaker 1: like in general, not right now, just I talk about
Speaker 1: some things but not everything. But I also feel like
Speaker 1: everybody doesn't need to know everything about what's going on
Speaker 1: with you financially, you know, because sometimes people think like
Speaker 1: Adie are doing really well. You're not doing as well
Speaker 1: as they, you know, my thought you were. But when
Speaker 1: people feel like you have money, they feel like more
Speaker 1: entitled to things. I feel like too, how about you guys?
Speaker 1: Or they feel like you don't need need help? Yeah,
Speaker 1: they feel like you don't. I can't do anything here
Speaker 1: me too. I'm actually in a semi new relationship. I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's like seven eight months and but new
Speaker 1: compared to my past. And it's weird because I feel
Speaker 1: like we're so our communication is so on point, and
Speaker 1: we're so like, do you just talk about this everything
Speaker 1: anything that I can't even think of anything besides like
Speaker 1: maybe finances. But again, do you know his credit score? No,
Speaker 1: but I know it's really good, or like, you know
Speaker 1: how much he has in the bank, how much he
Speaker 1: makes it? Does you know yours? Because I saw when
Speaker 1: he doesn't know about finances that being the number one
Speaker 1: reason that he knows my credit score because we're working
Speaker 1: on some real estate business together. So we talked about
Speaker 1: that type of thing, and I know that he mean,
Speaker 1: he's like very well off, so I know that his
Speaker 1: things are in order. So that's kind of like, uh,
Speaker 1: because sometimes we also assume things are in order. I
Speaker 1: had a um somebody who I grew up with, and
Speaker 1: her father passed away, and they seen they her family
Speaker 1: was about off, but they didn't know he didn't have
Speaker 1: it to get there like they thought he did. And
Speaker 1: now yeah, we're here. Because sometimes people seem like they
Speaker 1: got it together, but they don't have life insurance, or
Speaker 1: they don't have that savings, or they don't have a plan,
Speaker 1: and so while they're here, they're bringing in the money.
Speaker 1: But then and if anything got left to the people
Speaker 1: you think it's left to, it gets real deep. And
Speaker 1: spending habits are important to if people are aligned, Like
Speaker 1: some people are more flussy about what they might buy
Speaker 1: and what's important. And I have I know people who
Speaker 1: buy their own clothes at Target because you know, they're
Speaker 1: thrifty because they have kids that they're sending to school,
Speaker 1: paying for education. But then the husband goes down and
Speaker 1: buys the flat screen TV in a brand new car,
Speaker 1: you know, So it is important to talk about those
Speaker 1: things and see how the lines you are so you
Speaker 1: didn't come up with your you know, I'm sitting here
Speaker 1: listening and thinking, and y'all got quiet on me, some
Speaker 1: waiting for you too, because I'm gonna be honest, I think,
Speaker 1: you know, because my whole big thing is new in
Speaker 1: the new year, like not only just you know, on
Speaker 1: the show, but with my own life and these nets
Speaker 1: I'm doing. And I gotta be honest, I think I'm
Speaker 1: more open to less monogamy. I know, right that's happening lately,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know if I'm as as much
Speaker 1: of a stickler as a monog in a monogamous relationship
Speaker 1: as i've been. I'm a monogamous woman. I prefer just
Speaker 1: a one on one relationship, but I've also been in
Speaker 1: situations where I thought it was monogamous and it wasn't,
Speaker 1: and so I'm just wondering. I'm not a relationship now,
Speaker 1: but I'm just wondering the part of that is lying
Speaker 1: to think it wasn't. It wasn't because if somebody came
Speaker 1: to you and was like, like, here's the thing every
Speaker 1: now and then, right, you would be okay with it. Maybe, well,
Speaker 1: I think now that's what I'm saying. I kind of
Speaker 1: want to try just saying it's fine if we're not monogamous.
Speaker 1: You're into me, I'm into you. As long as we're
Speaker 1: in each other, let's less rock and roll and of
Speaker 1: course keeping each other safe sexually whatever that means. But
Speaker 1: in terms of just interested in other people, spending time
Speaker 1: with other people, I'm kind of over pretending that it's
Speaker 1: me and you and it's guy. I wasn't talking about
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I was just talking about this,
Speaker 1: like I've always been that person that I wanted to
Speaker 1: be just me and one person and I want them
Speaker 1: to love me the way I love them and all
Speaker 1: of that stuff. But lately I've just been thinking about
Speaker 1: like the Polly life, and you know, I can't do it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could either, but I've given
Speaker 1: it a thought because I think are open for somebody
Speaker 1: to really develop feelings for someone else, right and then
Speaker 1: right so you don't know if that can happen or not.
Speaker 1: And then also like are they going to really be honest?
Speaker 1: You like, what are you doing on me? And the
Speaker 1: senses there at the movies or I'm going to dinner,
Speaker 1: But you're the other side of it, though they could
Speaker 1: also be doing that anyway and telling you there monogamous.
Speaker 1: So that's why I'm trying to forgether. You not do
Speaker 1: it and be monogamous. Don't do it. I'm also go
Speaker 1: easing on the monogamy thing, but it's like you do that.
Speaker 1: You're even telling that to a guy. I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: a man to be so comfortable where he's telling me
Speaker 1: the about the other women he's dating and things like that,
Speaker 1: because would you want to know everything else that's going on,
Speaker 1: or would you want him to just be like I
Speaker 1: do see other people, or would you want details? Well
Speaker 1: I kind of also think not to not to negate
Speaker 1: the question, but I just think that if we as
Speaker 1: women are not monogamous, I think it shifts men. I
Speaker 1: think men are used to us being a monogamous person
Speaker 1: and the relationship, and if we say, well, you know what,
Speaker 1: it's cool, I think it shifts the whole dynamic from
Speaker 1: their perspective. Gun bad. Yeah again, I'm new, I'm but
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like guys want to be with
Speaker 1: whoever they want to be with, and they don't want
Speaker 1: you to be with anybody else. And the men say,
Speaker 1: you know, are you called with another woman? I say, well,
Speaker 1: the question is are you cold with me and your friend? Right?
Speaker 1: And all of a sudden that's been a whole another thing.
Speaker 1: And I said, so it's a problem. It's your boy,
Speaker 1: that's a problem. See that's what I'm trying to figure out,
Speaker 1: Like what what's really the problem? They can't take it again,
Speaker 1: they could this ship, but they can't take it. And
Speaker 1: you know, right nowadays people are always talking about toxic relationships, toxic,
Speaker 1: this toxic whatever. What makes the relationship toxic. You think, like,
Speaker 1: what are some examples you want to go first? You know,
Speaker 1: it's one of those most toxic things that I went
Speaker 1: through in my last relationship and didn't realize it until
Speaker 1: I was out of it. And you know this Angela,
Speaker 1: when he would be upset at me, he would just
Speaker 1: like shut down completely and like not speak to me
Speaker 1: at all instead of working through whatever his issue was.
Speaker 1: And I think that that is like, yeah, the silent treatment.
Speaker 1: I will get it all the time. Remember the time
Speaker 1: I called you like you was just like, oh I
Speaker 1: saw him yesterday. I'm like like two weeks yeah, and
Speaker 1: this and this like that. After the fact, like in hindsight,
Speaker 1: I realized that that was such crazy toxic energy, right
Speaker 1: because people would say arguing and all of that is toxic,
Speaker 1: but really like not saying anything at all. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say this because I'm into you. For me, the
Speaker 1: toxic is letting something I don't like or I'm not
Speaker 1: comfortable go beyond the one time. Like a lot of
Speaker 1: people will say, do you give second and third chances?
Speaker 1: And I want to ask you, guys, if you do
Speaker 1: in two I'm not like, like you should know, you know,
Speaker 1: you know who I am, what I'm about, And by
Speaker 1: the time we get to a point where we're together
Speaker 1: or even just friendship, it's like, why don't need to
Speaker 1: give you two to three chances to to It's like,
Speaker 1: you know, where in the stage now in life where
Speaker 1: it's like we're supposed to be valuing each other and
Speaker 1: respecting each other, you know, as friends as well as
Speaker 1: an interpersonal relationship. So why don't I need to give
Speaker 1: you two or three times to not respect me? And
Speaker 1: when you say friends importantly, like in relationships, that's supposed
Speaker 1: to be like your best friends. And so why do
Speaker 1: you treat me worse than you would teach your best friends?
Speaker 1: You know? Because I, yeah, I agree with that, because
Speaker 1: I think I'm a really way to People tell me
Speaker 1: all the time I'm way too nice. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: think you'd be like you Capricorn. I think you be
Speaker 1: like Nope. But the thing about me is I'm nice.
Speaker 1: But then once I get to a certain point, is
Speaker 1: over for me. Like I get people like you know,
Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt all the time I give
Speaker 1: them multiple chances, and somehow people will try to paint
Speaker 1: me as like the bad person. People play this whole
Speaker 1: like victim thing where you could do everything for somebody
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, right you stop doing
Speaker 1: something and you're the worst persons in the world, in
Speaker 1: the world. And so I had to realize and that
Speaker 1: is something that I decided that I have to be
Speaker 1: better at, is identifying when people are treating me shitty
Speaker 1: early on and just saying you know what, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I can't do it anymore because it's too draining for me.
Speaker 1: I have so much going on and I've wasted so
Speaker 1: much time in situations with people who didn't respect right me,
Speaker 1: don't respect, don't honor. So are you saying it's one
Speaker 1: chance and either you you what it is? Though, because people,
Speaker 1: I do believe that people deserve some grace depending if
Speaker 1: you can. I'm good with if I can talk to
Speaker 1: you about something and you can receive it and say,
Speaker 1: you know what, I didn't look at it. That I
Speaker 1: believe in that. But I also believe if something happens
Speaker 1: between us and then I know you're sucked up. Everybody
Speaker 1: else knows it, but you're still like posting subs on
Speaker 1: social media, talking crazy, having it like I can't deal
Speaker 1: with that because that's immature to me. And that's also like,
Speaker 1: all right, that is what it is. I don't trust you,
Speaker 1: Like that's dangerous to me. Yeah, I mean that that
Speaker 1: that sounds like you're right, like if this miscommunication, I
Speaker 1: think that's different. But then there's other times where I
Speaker 1: feel like you kind of know soul deep when it's
Speaker 1: manipulation but women's disrespect, or when somebody's not valuing you.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I think what we have a tendency to
Speaker 1: do is say, well, maybe that was just the situation.
Speaker 1: Let's just keep going because you have a history of
Speaker 1: the person. Yeah, right, because you want the friendship or relationships,
Speaker 1: Like you know, they've had a tough time and I
Speaker 1: understand that. So I'm not doing that anymore. Like when
Speaker 1: you give somebody another chance to it just gives no
Speaker 1: permission to keep on doing the same way. Now, what
Speaker 1: about in the bedroom, right, let's switch over to that
Speaker 1: for a second. How can you approach somebody to do
Speaker 1: to try something that they might not have ever done
Speaker 1: before and you feel uncomfortable kind of asking them to
Speaker 1: why are you smelling, Laura? Because there's some things we've
Speaker 1: talked about previous episodes, and I'm like, you know, why
Speaker 1: I don't know if the right one comes. So I'm
Speaker 1: building friendship. You guys were talking about friendship. I'm dealing
Speaker 1: with someone now and I told him it's very important
Speaker 1: that we develop a friendship first. So when you get mad,
Speaker 1: don't ghost me, because if you ghost me, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like, it's like, I'm not going to keep looking
Speaker 1: for you. So let's first build a friendship and maybe
Speaker 1: I'll end up following when we developed into because I
Speaker 1: know you now in a difference, like that's all of
Speaker 1: my friends. No, I mean, we're gonna evolved into a
Speaker 1: relationship eventually, and maybe you'll be the one because now
Speaker 1: we know each other, like we're friends. You're not. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna swallow the next week, I'm hearing that Maria
Speaker 1: swallowing YouTube, and so it's just I want. I want
Speaker 1: to build respect before you swallow, respect before you swallow. Swallow. Yet,
Speaker 1: how about you, guys, ever, until they come, that's when
Speaker 1: you swallow. To me, it's like you did all that.
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna not swallow. But don't don't surprise yourself.
Speaker 1: My advice is like you know when a man's about
Speaker 1: to come, and like you can feel when he's about to. Yes,
Speaker 1: So when you feel that, like, take it as far
Speaker 1: back as you can, so straight to your throat. So wait,
Speaker 1: so I did think of about gagging and swallowing at
Speaker 1: the state if the taste might make you guy, that's
Speaker 1: why if you put it behind your throat, you're not
Speaker 1: gonna taste anything. But but hold on, we had to
Speaker 1: put down a little bit because what do you mean
Speaker 1: the taste? The taste, that's anything ything. It depends on
Speaker 1: how he could be the you know, you never never
Speaker 1: had it there, so you never know how your body's
Speaker 1: going to make sure. If not, yeah, if he's not
Speaker 1: a healthy eater, it can taste a little spunky, a
Speaker 1: little funky, but it could taste like nothing, you know,
Speaker 1: like a lot. I mean again, that depends on the guy.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. When the last time he had
Speaker 1: lady playing on swallowing it, you weren't gonna play with it,
Speaker 1: spit it back out. You already playing on swallowing it.
Speaker 1: Here's my question exactly. So if you're so, I'm a swallower, yes,
Speaker 1: So what's the point of giving head if you're not swallowing?
Speaker 1: I thought that was part of it that guy's eating
Speaker 1: on your pussy and then he just stops right before you.
Speaker 1: He knows you're about to come. Isn't they going to
Speaker 1: fucking fish you off? Right? Or he made? He made?
Speaker 1: He moves his face. Imagine a guy moves his face
Speaker 1: and finishes you with his hand. Right. But the one thing,
Speaker 1: it's a big disconnect. Yeah, where do you want me
Speaker 1: to drop this load? Yeah? I've had that. I was like,
Speaker 1: not on my face, not in my mouth. You sound
Speaker 1: like fun, I'm a face? Do you not want him
Speaker 1: to be? It was just like, don't do it in
Speaker 1: my face? On my oh my god, that's that's my
Speaker 1: number one. When when it's from the back, like you know,
Speaker 1: my back and my ass, but just no, not in
Speaker 1: I don't care what you going to figure out how
Speaker 1: to get my face at the time coming out, I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like even if I want him
Speaker 1: to come somewhere else, if a guy asked me, where
Speaker 1: do you want to come? First? Ask somebody? Love it?
Speaker 1: You don't really mean it exactly. I mean it can
Speaker 1: we acknowledge the nutritional quality of that? It's good for
Speaker 1: your I mean, you know it's it's straight prouty, so
Speaker 1: all I'm saying it's one waste the protea to hand
Speaker 1: because I want to know. But you gotta protect your eyes,
Speaker 1: especially if you have yes, it could definitely burn your eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah you know comment you no matter what clean or
Speaker 1: dirty is, it will burn. But if your swallowhen it
Speaker 1: doesn't get in your eyes. It's me, I'm not man.
Speaker 1: And then it's and it's nice because like you do
Speaker 1: it and then you keep doing it even because guys,
Speaker 1: I don't know if they love it, their hate it,
Speaker 1: hate when they love how you or what like if
Speaker 1: they come and use you keep going, Yeah, and you
Speaker 1: know they drives them crazy. I think they're extra sensitive
Speaker 1: once they can't. But I think they also feel like
Speaker 1: it's really freaky if you just can't get enough to
Speaker 1: keep going. Because like first, if a guy's eating you
Speaker 1: out and you can do you want him to keep
Speaker 1: going when you're about to ruin it. I don't like,
Speaker 1: don't play during sex. You guys understand that, like sto
Speaker 1: keep moving, it's just the whole move. Are there men
Speaker 1: that have said they don't like to get hit? Yes,
Speaker 1: a man that has said please don't Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't believe it that means I haven't did it
Speaker 1: done right exactly because I didn't think I used to
Speaker 1: like it, Like I didn't think I used to like
Speaker 1: get in out because the first like a couple of times,
Speaker 1: the guy that did it to me was not good,
Speaker 1: So I didn't think it was good, and so I
Speaker 1: was just like after that, I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: like that until somebody did it right and he's like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah. So when you guys give head, do you
Speaker 1: use like tools and tricks? Have you turned it into
Speaker 1: like this is for you too? What have you used?
Speaker 1: Like jewelry and hand motions and corn Yeah, I'm interested
Speaker 1: in ice like pearl necklaces and textures. You know you
Speaker 1: wrapped you wrapped the dick with a pearl necklace and
Speaker 1: you know yeah right, because well right right exactly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, trying some jewelry and hand movements and the
Speaker 1: double hand dressers. Yeah. I do to sound like I'm
Speaker 1: an expert, but at the same time, well am I
Speaker 1: because I went to it. I've gone to parties. I'm
Speaker 1: blaming this on t Camp, but she's gonna die because
Speaker 1: I'm calling her name every I'm telling parties parties we
Speaker 1: have you know, there's an author. I think your name
Speaker 1: is Ivon Fulbright, who writes a book on how to
Speaker 1: go down. And I mean she came and did the
Speaker 1: party and I was like, there was a dick on
Speaker 1: the plate and I had no idea that I had
Speaker 1: no idea. So pearl necklace around. Yeah, you take they
Speaker 1: pull it out of from somewhere, you know, be really
Speaker 1: interesting and sexy with it, and then you wrap the
Speaker 1: check with the pearls and as you're you know, as
Speaker 1: you're stroking, you know, they can feel the dick secure
Speaker 1: very like I see candles. Yeah, that's candid that turned
Speaker 1: into wax. Like I mean, this is flavored syrups for
Speaker 1: the taste. Flavored syrups because now it's a Roman therapy
Speaker 1: for him and it helps your taste for you. So
Speaker 1: there's pineapple flavors and strawberry and he gets turned on
Speaker 1: by the fragrance and you're like, okay, so now I've
Speaker 1: turned your semen into strawberry shortcake. Remember when we went
Speaker 1: to um where were we Charlotte? And we went to
Speaker 1: that choices right okay, and they had the condoms, the
Speaker 1: flavored condoms. So that's to suck. But who's gonna use'.
Speaker 1: I was thinking, like, who's going to use a condom? Like?
Speaker 1: You never said to dick with a condom? Have you?
Speaker 1: I have not? Okay, but I also don't. I don't
Speaker 1: do random dick suck, you know what I mean. It's
Speaker 1: like somebody, I'm with you. I'm not a prostitute, never
Speaker 1: use flavor condoms. I'm like that, But I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's for if you're going to have sex and
Speaker 1: then take the condom off. It's like it too, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I didn't understand us because you have addressed to
Speaker 1: the condom and then you don't want to like right,
Speaker 1: because then it chastes like yeah to swallowing in. I
Speaker 1: am I how you gonna do it? Oh my god? Um?
Speaker 1: You know. So, I'm gonna grab it right and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make sure us all the way, black throat. I
Speaker 1: gotta relax, my throat, You gotta relax about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: definitely relax and make sure it's all all the way.
Speaker 1: And we don't have to be all the way. But
Speaker 1: as far as you can take it without so yeah,
Speaker 1: just as far as you can take it. Where can
Speaker 1: we get the pearls? You know what's crazy? I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't swallow in the back of my thad. I
Speaker 1: have it more towards the tip and like kind of
Speaker 1: like when he's I would like suck more like that pipe.
Speaker 1: You want to taste it, so you take it, you
Speaker 1: taste you're eating it. You I like to taste it too.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you want to taste it. But when I don't
Speaker 1: want to taste it. I don't think I've ever had nasty. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I tasted some com that was a terrible tastes like earwax. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think I can say bleep bleep. It tastes
Speaker 1: like airwax, like bleach. I'll never forget that. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the funk he was bringing we're eating, But
Speaker 1: I never sucked sick again. Okay. So is giving head
Speaker 1: as intimate as intercourse to me? It is? Because really
Speaker 1: said it is still set Absolutely I think, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that you stopped side. This is sexual act, Do
Speaker 1: you really? Because I can't just get somebody head and
Speaker 1: never have had sex with them really probably head to
Speaker 1: never have sex sex? What? No, because it sounds worse
Speaker 1: when people be like, yeah, I ain't but she said
Speaker 1: my like that. But you never I feel I can
Speaker 1: down like I'm on the bitch face. I don't know
Speaker 1: what the pussy like. Um yeah, I feel like if
Speaker 1: you just sucked dick and you didn't have intercourse, you
Speaker 1: still hot side to suck. Imagine you have a boyfriend,
Speaker 1: right and your boyfriend is like, oh, did you mess
Speaker 1: with sex? And you're like, no, I didn't have sex
Speaker 1: with it, but I did suck his dad words, he'll
Speaker 1: feel worries. That's worse. I think two words. So I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta be honest. I feel like it's a
Speaker 1: little bit of it's a little bit of a control
Speaker 1: thing because I feel like I'm giving as opposed to
Speaker 1: getting done. You know what I mean. I agree with that,
Speaker 1: but I just want some dick after so like I
Speaker 1: get from giving head, like it's like my favorite thing
Speaker 1: about sex that I'm not gonna so you get your
Speaker 1: pussy eight Well, now I wanted if I understand if
Speaker 1: you had a choice, though, then I want to know.
Speaker 1: But I'm a giver, so I want to I want
Speaker 1: to give head. I want to be the pleaser. I
Speaker 1: want to know that what I'm doing is making my man.
Speaker 1: I had a choice. You have a choice and make
Speaker 1: deviled eggs. If I had a choice for the night
Speaker 1: and it's either get your pussy eight or suck dick,
Speaker 1: you can't do both, I would say, fucking zig really
Speaker 1: go that night? Yeah? Yeah, what about we get done?
Speaker 1: I I wanted to, and then I want to get fun.
Speaker 1: What about sixty nine? I'm here for it. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: for it, But I like to do like I like
Speaker 1: to focus on one thing at a time. It's hard
Speaker 1: for me to focus because I can't really focus, and
Speaker 1: then the position never really feels we always is awkward.
Speaker 1: I've had some good rounds of sixty nine, but I
Speaker 1: think it was because like we were drunk and we
Speaker 1: were having like a sex triathlon and just ended up
Speaker 1: there and so it was perfect. I feel like when
Speaker 1: you like try it like bloods do sixty nine, it's
Speaker 1: organically do you do you come equally from intercourse as
Speaker 1: much as from if somebody beating you know, I won't
Speaker 1: say that, not equally, not equally not how do you
Speaker 1: come better? Um head? These days? Me too? From these
Speaker 1: days I used to be the other way around. No
Speaker 1: more recently, in my new relationship, I come orgasm from
Speaker 1: intercourse more than I haven't any other keep so yeah,
Speaker 1: he he's a keeper multiple times and definitely there for
Speaker 1: me once you like like I'm gonna come like a
Speaker 1: definitely sensitive more than if he's putting it in. How
Speaker 1: about you in I prefer to have sex from I
Speaker 1: mean I prefer to orgasm from sex. I'm like it
Speaker 1: feels better too. Yeah. As a matter of fact, if
Speaker 1: you're eating me out and I feel like I'm about
Speaker 1: to come my rather, do you have like put it
Speaker 1: in right then? Yeah? I love that. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's a better feeling to me. When you can come
Speaker 1: on on the day, it's a feeling too. But when
Speaker 1: she asked what I'm calling and what's easy and easier easier,
Speaker 1: I like there to me And to be honest, like
Speaker 1: to come from oral sex for me, you kind of
Speaker 1: have to be consistent. I don't like switch up the
Speaker 1: movement like mine could be right there, and I wish
Speaker 1: they gotta know it's like, don't do the snake tongue.
Speaker 1: Somebody does that. You know, I'm trying to guide your head.
Speaker 1: And I don't like this bit to trickle down to
Speaker 1: my butt either, like there's that much. I like messy.
Speaker 1: I don't like sitting like a like like when they
Speaker 1: stop and spit on it, like wait, why do you
Speaker 1: even stop? Just keep going? So do you think men
Speaker 1: are open to the instruction? Yeah, if you say it
Speaker 1: the right way you delivered right. You gotta say it
Speaker 1: like sexy. You can't just be like hold hold up, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to be like no. They want you to
Speaker 1: say it, like in a way where you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: now I do I love when you do that to
Speaker 1: you When you yeah, it'll feel so good if you yeah, like,
Speaker 1: don't stop or do it like how you was just
Speaker 1: doing it? Who? Don't stop it right there? Don't stop that,
Speaker 1: keep going like have sex when you don't really feel
Speaker 1: like it, but you just do it because you know
Speaker 1: he does. I have done it. Yeah, I'm like yeah,
Speaker 1: and then trying to get in like you really mentally
Speaker 1: not there, but you're trying, And then you'd be like
Speaker 1: if you don't, how are you up something? And me
Speaker 1: trying to rush him. Have you come for me? Please
Speaker 1: come for me to make it sexy, but you really
Speaker 1: like no, he already came, and they keep going and
Speaker 1: they keep going. I'm like I don't care about and
Speaker 1: then they can't see your face, but you'd be like
Speaker 1: everybody kill it like that. I love coming, though when
Speaker 1: they don't get me from the back, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I never I don't think I really could come that.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, that's I think I'm my built
Speaker 1: that way. Yeah, I love, I love to, but I can't.
Speaker 1: Simulation was the only way. He gat me out first
Speaker 1: from the back, and then like you said, when I
Speaker 1: was almost there, he just went in and it was amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the best time. Oh my god. And then grab
Speaker 1: my hair. You think everything crap. Yeah, and you're not
Speaker 1: giving head. Nope, I don't know. I'm giving head now
Speaker 1: more than I you know, but I haven't like I
Speaker 1: could say, like now, I know you know. I've been
Speaker 1: listening and I take little taking that I hear from here,
Speaker 1: you know, like licking the tips like they love when
Speaker 1: you just suck the tip and then you put both
Speaker 1: hands and you go up and down and you just
Speaker 1: make it real wet. And another thing I learned is
Speaker 1: the balls, Like while you sucking it, play with his balls,
Speaker 1: spit my hand. That's the whole thing. Yeah, I love it. Listen,
Speaker 1: do you think if I'd ever been normalized for three
Speaker 1: semes with two men and a women and a woman.
Speaker 1: Guys can't take that. You think it will ever be
Speaker 1: like a normalized thing for two guys and one woman
Speaker 1: because it is like a train, and it's very normal
Speaker 1: for like three Simons when there's two women and a man.
Speaker 1: But do you think we'll ever come to a place
Speaker 1: in society where it would be like a three sims
Speaker 1: two men and a woman and a woman and they'll
Speaker 1: be okay with that? No? What is that? I mean
Speaker 1: for some men they do it, but again it's just
Speaker 1: to them. Is a is a train, it's not a threesome, right,
Speaker 1: But um, I mean, but every women, a lot of
Speaker 1: women will never do that. Yeah. When they asked me,
Speaker 1: they're like, would you would you do a three someome?
Speaker 1: I'm like yeah, bringing let me pick the guy. They're like,
Speaker 1: wait what so man? Yeah? And two men two men,
Speaker 1: and and they traded off. It was like they were
Speaker 1: friends and they traded off. It's the best fifties birthday, okay,
Speaker 1: and they were they traded off. So it was never
Speaker 1: like them together together. Okay. It was like they were
Speaker 1: flip flopping me and you know, one would please me,
Speaker 1: then he passed me to the other, and one would
Speaker 1: kiss me and then he'd spin me around for the other.
Speaker 1: It was like a beautiful dance. It was like doing
Speaker 1: the salsa with two guys at the same time, just
Speaker 1: like romantic and sexy and never intertwined. But at the
Speaker 1: same time it was too But people make you feel
Speaker 1: like because I feel like in' decieted, like we've been
Speaker 1: on here. Guys don't really admit to stuff like that
Speaker 1: as much. Yeah, they're not gonna I don't think they're
Speaker 1: gonna be. It's like a list of things that they
Speaker 1: don't admit to. So wait, were these guys but they
Speaker 1: so they were friends with each other. They were friends, okay,
Speaker 1: and I knew they were friends. And it was all
Speaker 1: about that Coco patrol ship perfectly that I've had some
Speaker 1: wild nights on those are my real drunk days. I
Speaker 1: used to love. Listen for a birthday party, get some
Speaker 1: Cafe patrol swallow like it's tasty, like you can't even
Speaker 1: put milk with it, and my goodness, good, you just
Speaker 1: don't even notice how washed up you're about. So they
Speaker 1: said the next day, how did they act to each other?
Speaker 1: Or like afterward, what did they ever acknowledge it? Or
Speaker 1: was it just a one thing and nobody ever discussed No.
Speaker 1: We all went to breakfast and it was like three
Speaker 1: friends that hung out and had a good time. It
Speaker 1: was weird because it's not like I was into that.
Speaker 1: I had never done it before, but it was happy
Speaker 1: birthday to me, and it was like, okay, And as
Speaker 1: it was happening, I was like, this is happening. I
Speaker 1: was like, this is actually happening. It's really really thing.
Speaker 1: I juste't even I was like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is happening. And then I just kind of relaxed and
Speaker 1: let it happen. And the next morning we were like
Speaker 1: the three months has a movie about that called Threatle.
Speaker 1: He's part of a Threatle. It's him and another dude
Speaker 1: and a girl. Wow, what you're doing it? I've never
Speaker 1: thought about it. I'm a very one on one person.
Speaker 1: I've never even been with a woman. Okay, so I'm
Speaker 1: a very like I don't even like sixty nine, so
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine. I can't multitask like that. But
Speaker 1: but yeah, the way she made it her it was
Speaker 1: all exactly you know what, you you are so right
Speaker 1: because it was so effortless. It was so sexy, sexy,
Speaker 1: not in a sexual way. Yes, it was essential. They
Speaker 1: were very gentle. You know, they treated me like I
Speaker 1: was a queen. They both freaky simultaneously. Yes, it wasn't
Speaker 1: like no internet you know, porn site crap. It was
Speaker 1: just it was very sexual and sexy and romantic and
Speaker 1: it was just like having Oh my goodness, I say
Speaker 1: yes every time you do it again. I know you
Speaker 1: got to have some guys at the same time. But
Speaker 1: it was the sexiest, most romantic. I mean it was
Speaker 1: like this sounds like you know what it sounds like.
Speaker 1: It sounds that's a batisfying and tucked it about it.
Speaker 1: You just let it happened that it talked about it,
Speaker 1: and we just continue. You know, it happened one more
Speaker 1: time in that little vacation strip. Okay, we still never
Speaker 1: talked about it. It was just kind of like a
Speaker 1: thing we did, right, and that's to day. Hey, y'all
Speaker 1: want to go get some cafe that's passwords, right? I
Speaker 1: mean the only that you haven't done that you want
Speaker 1: to do in the bedroom, Like, is there something that's
Speaker 1: on your bucket list? Your bucket list? Um not No,
Speaker 1: I mean that probably would have been the thing that
Speaker 1: is like top tier crim dela crime. I don't think
Speaker 1: you get anything. The one thing I had not done.
Speaker 1: And that's why, Like on fiftieth birthday, I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, if it's going down, it's going down.
Speaker 1: It's going down. And I wasn't predicting it. But you know,
Speaker 1: but by the time I did, like the fourth shot
Speaker 1: of the Cafe Patron, I could kind of tell they
Speaker 1: were both dancing closer, and I'm like, happy birthday to me.
Speaker 1: I'm doing I'm going in. I don't have to choose.
Speaker 1: I'm going in whatever is happening. I'm letting happen. Though.
Speaker 1: That's what I was going I was attracted to one
Speaker 1: more than the other. It's not that one was better.
Speaker 1: I was attracted to one more than the other. Both
Speaker 1: of them were French, so you know, and I speak French,
Speaker 1: so it was we spoke no English. Actually it's just
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, right, so I speak right speaking. What
Speaker 1: are you doing? Just telling you? It was so you know,
Speaker 1: internationally sexy and too French guys in Saint part yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and beautiful and chocolate and pretty teeth, and I sparkling
Speaker 1: in the dark, you know, like I'm down for you know,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I didn't ask, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It was a birthday to be but we're still friends,
Speaker 1: you know, we still hate each other. Happy birthday. I
Speaker 1: was like, not as happy as it wasn't twenty done?
Speaker 1: When are you coming back? I was like, I'll let
Speaker 1: you know. You haven't been so attracted to somebody. And
Speaker 1: then when it came time to have sex, it wasn't hitting.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, has happened to me the worst?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, such a let down? And for you?
Speaker 1: Do you tell them? Yeah? Absolutely? Did you tell? Did
Speaker 1: you tell them? Now? I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
Speaker 1: The never call again, never never happened again. But that's
Speaker 1: how they you never want to go. He could have
Speaker 1: helped them. You know, I'm a ghost, you want I
Speaker 1: can't be a ghost. Are you a ghost? You really? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Block power book, Yeah, I will delete. Tell them I
Speaker 1: don't block on a block so that I don't contact you.
Speaker 1: So you know when the numbers there, you don't want
Speaker 1: to call a person drunk? Oh my god, I would
Speaker 1: delete everything because it's like I don't even want to
Speaker 1: have your number. You're too nice. See I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm too nice because I never gohoest. I just kind
Speaker 1: of like, you know, ghost, I'm just not gonna call
Speaker 1: you back, like I never goes. Yeah. Now I just
Speaker 1: won't answer, but I do be busy when you did
Speaker 1: you run into them at the lead. See that's why
Speaker 1: I used to have a DNA list and I used
Speaker 1: to have all of these numbers saved in the DNA
Speaker 1: and I just wouldn't answer because I somebody somebody that
Speaker 1: made it on that list, and because I had the
Speaker 1: same contact. I just never answered that that lists grow
Speaker 1: pretty long. Yeah, luckily I don't have to do that anymore.
Speaker 1: But they made a fake page that hit me up. Now,
Speaker 1: why I have to make up a fake page just
Speaker 1: to get you? Blocked me on both and then he
Speaker 1: sent me a dollar on cash app, like with his name,
Speaker 1: like please talk to me dollar dollars. I might have
Speaker 1: considered what makes somebody bad, like if you're like okay,
Speaker 1: we had a lot of chemistry, but then it was bad.
Speaker 1: What's bad like what happens too fast? Just no passion,
Speaker 1: Like I hate for a guy that just wants to
Speaker 1: just like put it in and just home until you
Speaker 1: coming and like hello, that's me sometimes rhythm here yeah,
Speaker 1: he can't. That's the thing for me. You gotta kiss.
Speaker 1: You gotta be able to kiss. That's that's the foreplay
Speaker 1: for me. You gotta be able to kiss. If you
Speaker 1: can't kiss, then it's just it's all bad after that. Yes,
Speaker 1: but that's part of what wasn't good. It's like the
Speaker 1: rhythm because I didn't know the rhythm of the kiss.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize they were gonna have no rhythm period.
Speaker 1: And you know, I know rhythm is im point to you.
Speaker 1: We've seen your dancing abilities. I mean, you know, but
Speaker 1: I think rhythm is important to everybody. The rhythm. The
Speaker 1: rhythm tells you how they're gonna flow and moving their
Speaker 1: pace and their energy, you know, in the chemistry, you know,
Speaker 1: and yeah, but but you know there's there's CUTEI Price
Speaker 1: who ain't got no rhythm right right? And that sucks? Yeah,
Speaker 1: or just no chemistry, you know, there can just there
Speaker 1: can be rhythm, but just no chemistry. Because because somebody
Speaker 1: could look good and it seemed good on paper, and
Speaker 1: you'd be like, all right, he would be good. And
Speaker 1: you try to force yourself to like somebody. Have you
Speaker 1: ever forced yourself to like such? It doesn't work for long.
Speaker 1: I try, can't. I couldn't. Yeah, I had to leave.
Speaker 1: I can't. My facial expressions tell it all. You can
Speaker 1: tell when I don't like you, especially a man. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm nasty, you know. Honestly, when I don't like a
Speaker 1: guy everything he does get some money, so annoyed by
Speaker 1: every little thing, even and it's very obvious, like the
Speaker 1: way my reaction, like my reactions to that are very obvious.
Speaker 1: You can tell you. I can't fake it. I can't
Speaker 1: fake like you. So if I'm not all over you,
Speaker 1: then you just know I'm not into yeah, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's another thing. I'm affectionate. But nobody ever grew on
Speaker 1: you who you didn't like at first and then he
Speaker 1: ended up liking them. I tried, but then it just expired,
Speaker 1: just like I tried. I really tried. And then it
Speaker 1: was other things that wasn't good, like sex and you know,
Speaker 1: the weird things. And I really tried. I really tried.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been attracted to somebody more from me
Speaker 1: inside than the outside. That's who it was, they were,
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. Like I tried because I know
Speaker 1: how great of a man like he would be ideal
Speaker 1: but she just looked at him and nothing happened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the sex again, Like I always thought that sex
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a deal breaker from me, But the older
Speaker 1: I get now and the more I'm getting, you know,
Speaker 1: it is. And it's crazy that there's certain things that
Speaker 1: like somebody could be great. But I remember when I
Speaker 1: was younger, I didated. This guy was really hairy. Oh no, sorry, Harry,
Speaker 1: where I did details everywhere everywhere, like arms, No, I
Speaker 1: never noticed that, but he would shave his arms and
Speaker 1: they would be like, oh, stefitely. Yeah, And that was
Speaker 1: hard for me because what if when they shaved down
Speaker 1: there and it's prickly and feeling, and then you get
Speaker 1: like you get red rita sea and I love to ride,
Speaker 1: So that's, oh my god, what happened with the Harry?
Speaker 1: You just didn't? I mean? And then we had like
Speaker 1: temperature issues in the bedroom because he would always be hot.
Speaker 1: He was a grizzly bad always sweating here too, and
Speaker 1: you know people are hearing me sweatier and so um.
Speaker 1: He would always be hot and I would always be cold,
Speaker 1: and it just didn't I think temperature is hard, like
Speaker 1: if you don't you can't agree on that in the
Speaker 1: bed because I like to cut it like under the covers,
Speaker 1: you know whatever. And he was always like, it's too hot, right,
Speaker 1: have you guys ever tried tantra sucks? Tant no tantrick? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to haven't have you? It felt like it,
Speaker 1: but I don't think it was just maybe if I
Speaker 1: would have swallowed it. Probably I'm learning a lot of guys.
Speaker 1: I'm learning a lot. Why do you say it felt
Speaker 1: like it? Because it's like everything was just so like
Speaker 1: passionate I was. We were sweating and the things that
Speaker 1: he put me in positions that I never thought I
Speaker 1: would be in before. I didn't know I was as
Speaker 1: flexible as I was. It was just we was in
Speaker 1: another universe. Like it's like my soul left my body.
Speaker 1: Where is he now? That sounds hot. I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk about it. But the sex becaun't enough because
Speaker 1: everything else, like he wasn't And then that's the thing,
Speaker 1: he wasn't a great guy. So then you got the
Speaker 1: guys that are really nice and really good, but the sex,
Speaker 1: but then you got sometimes to be the worst guys
Speaker 1: that have the best sex. Damn that sex. But he
Speaker 1: did digmatize me. He had me for a while, like
Speaker 1: curse them all. He called me a month later just
Speaker 1: come on. But yeah, but then I was like I
Speaker 1: had to stop it because it was like, this is
Speaker 1: not going nowhere. But damn, what if he called you today?
Speaker 1: I'm single right now, so so yeah, I'm open to it.
Speaker 1: I'm open to sex. I might swallow you this time,
Speaker 1: and then we may work out because because you know
Speaker 1: who he is, because you know what you're talking about
Speaker 1: him right now, probably do. Oh that's some sex and
Speaker 1: ship he's listening. Wow, I'm surprised you haven't tried tantic sexes.
Speaker 1: Why are you surprised? Because I look at you like
Speaker 1: that expertence everything. Oh no, I'm not. I'm not an
Speaker 1: expert on everything. I'm actually very goofy and nerdy and
Speaker 1: I just have some experience. But no, I am not
Speaker 1: an expert on everything. I haven't tried it, but I'm curious, right,
Speaker 1: and so we'll see what two does. But sex all day,
Speaker 1: like all day, just day and all day and just
Speaker 1: has sex not gone anywhere, done, no work, nothing, just
Speaker 1: you know, my body doesn't function that way. I'll end
Speaker 1: up with like a urinary track in fiction or just
Speaker 1: breaks and eat and okay, like not get dressed to
Speaker 1: go back. But I haven't been attracted to somebody like
Speaker 1: that in a long time. But to me in in
Speaker 1: order for me to do that, I've got to just
Speaker 1: be like overly attracted and everything's great, and I haven't
Speaker 1: had that in a really long time. That's the best
Speaker 1: thing in the world to just be in the house
Speaker 1: all day, like on vacation or whatever, and just not
Speaker 1: leave the room all day and just staying and have
Speaker 1: sex all day long, and just like order room service
Speaker 1: so I get something to eat and then get back
Speaker 1: to it, bed up and cooking, just a T shirt
Speaker 1: and thong stuff. What's happening? Have you done it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Recently cutting myself myself. I have had a nice sex
Speaker 1: triathlon in a while. Yeah. I feel like we get
Speaker 1: so busy. You know, what do you think that you
Speaker 1: could be better at when it comes to relationships? Because
Speaker 1: we always talking about what we went from somebody else?
Speaker 1: But what could we be better at? I think I
Speaker 1: could just be more forgiving. I think I'm so um,
Speaker 1: I'm scared to be single. I was just sitting here
Speaker 1: thinking and listening to you guys, listening to myself talking.
Speaker 1: I I just realized I haven't had bad sex in
Speaker 1: a long time. If we're not jail it sympathetic towards you,
Speaker 1: we're jealous. I've been I've had these incredible lovers, and
Speaker 1: I'm just so scared to be single and have bad
Speaker 1: sex again in my lifetime, but lifetime, And even with
Speaker 1: that being said, like, no matter how great a lover,
Speaker 1: I'm really quick to set someone to how like I'm
Speaker 1: really I'm not a very forgiving person. I don't think
Speaker 1: I give too many chances. And even if I give
Speaker 1: a second chance, I'm a little nasty about it, you know,
Speaker 1: like it's like it's never the same. I can never
Speaker 1: look at you the same after I had to give
Speaker 1: you a chance or five. So it's kind of not
Speaker 1: worth it because it's never the same exactly, Like, what's
Speaker 1: the point of staying with somebody if it's if you
Speaker 1: can't forgive them? Yeah, so that is such a good question.
Speaker 1: Better at I think I have to be better at
Speaker 1: giving older men a chance. Same. Really, Yeah, I've been
Speaker 1: dating these young guys there, that's saying guys. I was like,
Speaker 1: I mean younger but still young, Like I feel like
Speaker 1: I would be good for a forty five year old
Speaker 1: man or a forty two year old man. Why do
Speaker 1: you think that is like with the younger guys and
Speaker 1: not older guys. I mean, I think the younger guys
Speaker 1: are attracted to my energy and my wisdom and my
Speaker 1: my body. But what you attracted to. I'm attracted to
Speaker 1: their energy and their fun and their bodies and their
Speaker 1: bodies and it. Guy, it's like, you know, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: he's taking a nap every twenty minute. But do you
Speaker 1: think you also don't want to settle down? Kind of,
Speaker 1: I do want to settle down. You might be dating
Speaker 1: these younger guys because you're not. I've I've actually investigated
Speaker 1: could that be the case. I just like, you know,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to,
Speaker 1: And I think the issue is that the younger guy
Speaker 1: is not necessarily wanting to settle down, but I love
Speaker 1: so many elements of what he brings, and the older
Speaker 1: guy I'm just not necessarily attracted to body wise, energy wise,
Speaker 1: conversation wise. So there's older in shape men, And like,
Speaker 1: when you find one, will you call me? I got
Speaker 1: you do for you? Because right now it's like nobody's
Speaker 1: hollering map at me over thirty five, I haven't been
Speaker 1: attracked in a lot of older guys like fifty one.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind being year olds. So yeah there's one yeah,
Speaker 1: I yeah, and attracted like physically mentally well yeah yes,
Speaker 1: But sometimes there's one that I tried so hard and
Speaker 1: I was just like, I'm sorry, I can't do it.
Speaker 1: I just need to be honest. I was hunch around
Speaker 1: the middle. Yeah yeah, because yeah, there's people who really
Speaker 1: take good care of themselves. There's guys who look better
Speaker 1: as they get older. But I do attract a lot
Speaker 1: of young guys too. It's always young guys in my
Speaker 1: d M. Like, yeah, you need you, a young guy.
Speaker 1: I want you to be my clueger. And I'll just
Speaker 1: be like, but what are the things that you're looking
Speaker 1: for in amandon? I love a sense of humor. I
Speaker 1: love somebody who loves to travel, definitely God first. UM
Speaker 1: who appreciates my career and my busy schedule and has
Speaker 1: their own busy schedule, but wants to partner in terms of,
Speaker 1: you know, making our lives blend and support each other
Speaker 1: and what we're doing. UM loves to have fun, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, as much as I'm serious and and and
Speaker 1: about my business. I love to get my party onto,
Speaker 1: you know, I love to get my party on. So
Speaker 1: just just somebody who can travel defense and not just
Speaker 1: always be about business defense, No, and exactly you know,
Speaker 1: who's open to new adventures. Like a lot of times
Speaker 1: I think people, you know, we turned fifty and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, it's like people start taking taking the
Speaker 1: attitude like you know, life is over. And for me,
Speaker 1: life just began listen, feeling good, looking good in the
Speaker 1: fifties where just like you know, I'm like Karen, like
Speaker 1: I used to care before I'm out. I'm doing my
Speaker 1: thing a business moment. I don't got to worry about thing.
Speaker 1: You got to established myself. Yes, and so it's a
Speaker 1: whole different energy. And I just think, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: looking for I find that more in younger men. Um
Speaker 1: and then they don't deal with age as much as
Speaker 1: older man. That's the other thing. Older men deal with
Speaker 1: age a lot, and I don't because they're trying to
Speaker 1: stay young. It's always an age conversation. I'm like, let
Speaker 1: go of your age and crab onto your life, Like
Speaker 1: what what what does it matter? How we are? You know,
Speaker 1: like I drop it and stay low. So let's go.
Speaker 1: Can we talk about this trip you just got back
Speaker 1: from from Yes, please tell us something like how has
Speaker 1: that changed anything about you? All of that. Well, I've
Speaker 1: been going to Africa for the last four years to
Speaker 1: start the new year. You know, my birthday is right
Speaker 1: before your January two, and so I've always looked for
Speaker 1: something new and different and adventurous to start my year
Speaker 1: because I feel like that's my duty is to really
Speaker 1: start my year new. And so I started doing these
Speaker 1: retreats here in the States called New Year, New You,
Speaker 1: and I knew that I wanted to do one in
Speaker 1: Africa because four years ago my life changed. I got
Speaker 1: re baptized and the waters of Ghana, and I just
Speaker 1: felt like I learned so much about our history as
Speaker 1: African American women and who we were before we arrived
Speaker 1: in the US, as as African descendants. And so I
Speaker 1: just decided that, you know, I wanted to start my
Speaker 1: year every year with that kind of special ancestral salute um,
Speaker 1: realigning myself with who I am as a person, you know,
Speaker 1: before America kicked in, and I mean my life changed
Speaker 1: and took off when I did it, so I'm scared
Speaker 1: to not do my life starting in Africa every New year,
Speaker 1: and so this year was no different. I just got
Speaker 1: back this morning. I was, yeah, I guess my thing
Speaker 1: I was. I was there for a month. I started retreat,
Speaker 1: so now I'm bringing y'all are coming next year. Bay.
Speaker 1: I have never had the spiritual and the turn up
Speaker 1: at the same time that on day, Okay, we'll make
Speaker 1: that happen to Okay, you got that baptized in Christianity
Speaker 1: or a different faith. I got baptized in Christianity, but
Speaker 1: I felt like it was more from I felt like
Speaker 1: it was actually more I'm good you asked that it
Speaker 1: was more of an ancestral washover. And what happened was
Speaker 1: I had gone to see the slave dungeons and had
Speaker 1: learned so much that we're not taught here. And by
Speaker 1: the time my birthday came, I said, I just want
Speaker 1: to start new. I had been in a bad relationship
Speaker 1: before I went to Africa, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: want to wash off all the drama from that, all
Speaker 1: the unmet expectations, all the disappointments from friendships. I was
Speaker 1: just kind of you know, it was turning twenty nineteen
Speaker 1: and I had just had such a disappointing year. People
Speaker 1: let me down. You know. I just said, you know what,
Speaker 1: I want to start fresh. Let me just let this
Speaker 1: ancestral energy wash over me and start fresh. So it's
Speaker 1: more that than a religious Baptist. And I just felt
Speaker 1: like as soon as I mentally and spiritually released the
Speaker 1: toxins of the year before and just surrendered to the
Speaker 1: good that could be mine, oh my goodness now, And
Speaker 1: so I did. I built the retreat to be a
Speaker 1: mirror of the experience I had my first week on
Speaker 1: the continent was which was nineteen and so this was
Speaker 1: the first year I launched in Ghana, and everybody was like,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, like you have to keep doing this
Speaker 1: and I was a planet to but but you guys
Speaker 1: are coming next year anybody ye now, yes, your register.
Speaker 1: It's just to me the energy I get, like what
Speaker 1: you're hearing now, it's a freedom. I'm living with a
Speaker 1: freedom that I've never had before. Personally, professionally, I don't
Speaker 1: care what people think. Um, that's a hard thing. Everybody cares.
Speaker 1: Everybody wants to weigh in and say things, and you know, people,
Speaker 1: it's just hard when you go to Ghana, Africa, and
Speaker 1: you try to pick up one of those cannonballs at
Speaker 1: a slave dungeon that used to anchor our ankles as
Speaker 1: women to keep us from escaping, or as punishment when
Speaker 1: we wouldn't, when we would fight the rape by the
Speaker 1: slave masters, and you try to pick it up and
Speaker 1: you can't. To me, the least you can do is say,
Speaker 1: you know what, because my ankles are free, let me
Speaker 1: live that freedom? And what does that look like? And
Speaker 1: so that's actually an exercise of one of the retreats.
Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, our ancestors, the women who are our
Speaker 1: d n a were ankle chained to cannonballs, like in
Speaker 1: the elements of the weather, there was no minstrel sanitary
Speaker 1: you know situations when when their periods came. So now
Speaker 1: that we're living a life of luxury compared to them,
Speaker 1: what do you do with that? You know, what do
Speaker 1: you do with that power? What do you do with
Speaker 1: that freedom? And so I take it that deep in
Speaker 1: the retreat. It's like, who do you want to be
Speaker 1: in this new year? How new do you want to be?
Speaker 1: So what you're watching now and me is just four
Speaker 1: years of deciding every year to be fucking new and
Speaker 1: what that means that ye, yes, I'm vaccinated. I can
Speaker 1: go by then you got the booster said, hearing the States. Also, yeah,
Speaker 1: in February, actually February the President's weekend, the seventeenth one,
Speaker 1: I have another retreat here because I know that everybody
Speaker 1: can't go to Africa, so I'm doing an annual retreat here,
Speaker 1: which is in St. Thomas. And he said, you love
Speaker 1: what were you available for this? You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: that's why we're asking. Yeah. St Thomas, February seventeen one.
Speaker 1: And the reason why I picked St. Thomas is because
Speaker 1: I quarantined there during the pandemic. And I mean the water,
Speaker 1: is the energy, Yeah, it's like it's the US the pandemic.
Speaker 1: And my passport was expired. I would say, where can
Speaker 1: I go into US time? It's gorgeous, it's beautiful. I
Speaker 1: love the music and the food. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, And because I couldn't get to Africa,
Speaker 1: then I was like, let me try St. Thomas. Fell
Speaker 1: in love and I said this is a retreat location.
Speaker 1: And I promised everybody that was following me, I said,
Speaker 1: we're gonna do a retreat and so February sevent here
Speaker 1: and and I've been looking for that, so we because
Speaker 1: I've been looking for something like that because I've been
Speaker 1: doing a work on myself with worrying about what people
Speaker 1: think about me and things like that. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel like I gotta I gotta tell you I've got
Speaker 1: a little selfish like I feel like the retreats that
Speaker 1: I'm building for for everyone else, it's basically the ushering
Speaker 1: in for me of the courage it takes to live
Speaker 1: the freedom, you know, to be the powerful women that
Speaker 1: we are, you know, to live it without excuses and
Speaker 1: without um self sabotaging. You know. I'm sure you know
Speaker 1: we've got friendships, but I also learned that it can
Speaker 1: be lonely as you elevate. You know, everybody can't go.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I feel like the retreat
Speaker 1: environment says walk in that our you know, the friendships
Speaker 1: you're looking for are actually at the elevation. You're just
Speaker 1: holding onto people that aren't on that level. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: that's yes, of course you want people because sometimes there's
Speaker 1: people that come in your life later that you didn't
Speaker 1: know growing up, and they're way better for you and
Speaker 1: way better in your life and way more supportive than
Speaker 1: people that you've known, you know, and these I keep
Speaker 1: them intimate. I don't it's not a hundred of people.
Speaker 1: I keep it intimate, and I keep it very selective
Speaker 1: so that I understand, like, you know, what everybody wants,
Speaker 1: Like I send out a questionnaire to see what you're
Speaker 1: out for and what your concerns are and what you
Speaker 1: want to be and who you want to be, And
Speaker 1: so the group is already pre selected, so I know
Speaker 1: you're gonna get along. I know that you have something
Speaker 1: in common, and so it's not just a random people
Speaker 1: who can offer the ticket. Like I'm keeping it real
Speaker 1: selective so that we all leave learning something from each
Speaker 1: other and that we leave with an elevated sense of sisterhood. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean it's like I'm even like, where can I
Speaker 1: get a ticket? Right? Right? So I would love to
Speaker 1: have you guys calm and just you know, experience it
Speaker 1: and every topic be fun because it's like people act
Speaker 1: like some of these topics and things are so taboos,
Speaker 1: just you know, people like, oh, y'all, hold is this sexes?
Speaker 1: Life relationships and the reason somebody has sex? We all
Speaker 1: have sex, we all have you know, taboo things. You
Speaker 1: might think it is weird, but we have an open
Speaker 1: form here we talk about things that you realize this
Speaker 1: actually normal. Nothing being repressed and learning. I've been learning
Speaker 1: so much and I just you know, I love the
Speaker 1: sisterhood element, Like I'm listening to you all and I'm
Speaker 1: learning and hopefully I'm sharing You're learning, And to me,
Speaker 1: that's what these shelves like that, that's what sisterhood should be.
Speaker 1: It's like if we put more time into our connection
Speaker 1: as opposed to what disconnects us. I mean, how much
Speaker 1: more powerful can we be? Listen in numbers, in commonality,
Speaker 1: in chemistry, you know, of course for business too. You
Speaker 1: never know if you're gonna meet somebody who has the
Speaker 1: same vision for an entrepreneurial situation. So I try to
Speaker 1: govern the retreats and who's coming based on that. And
Speaker 1: so this last retreating Ghana, it was magic because everybody
Speaker 1: who was there I already knew and picking the people
Speaker 1: what the connections would be, and then just to watch
Speaker 1: them unfold on the soil in the motherland. Listen. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was just you know, for the first for the
Speaker 1: first launch, it was amazing and so a so far
Speaker 1: We're almost sold out for December already, and I just
Speaker 1: got today that everybody is like and I appreciate that
Speaker 1: this is your first stop. So after that, I was like,
Speaker 1: first of all, I was excited that you even wanted
Speaker 1: to do lip service from Ghana. I was like, you
Speaker 1: didn't hit me back, but already scheduled it. This what
Speaker 1: are we doing. I gotta come back and talk to
Speaker 1: my girls because I just think, you know, and I
Speaker 1: didn't even know what was going to be successful then,
Speaker 1: but I was just hoping and praying that my vision
Speaker 1: would manifest. And I just hope that that's also an
Speaker 1: example like when we have a vision as women, you know,
Speaker 1: we have to move forward again in that courage and
Speaker 1: in that empowerment and in the sisterhood to help it manifest.
Speaker 1: We're we're such a power, and that's what I learned
Speaker 1: in Africa. We are royalty, we are queens, and if
Speaker 1: we come together in that power, we are unstoppable, unstoppable.
Speaker 1: So I'm just trying to be here in the US
Speaker 1: when I'm here, because I'm there more now that i'm here.
Speaker 1: I just I just want to be an example of
Speaker 1: let's come together and let's be the power that we're
Speaker 1: supposed to be and it yes show. So it's my therapy.
Speaker 1: Is they're gonna be a season two? What's going on
Speaker 1: that I don't know yet. We're we're in episode eight
Speaker 1: of eighteen, which I'm excited about. Okay, they already knew
Speaker 1: in episodes and it's life therapy. I mean, for if
Speaker 1: it was another topic. But I'm so honored and I'm
Speaker 1: so humbled that the network, the TV one, decided that
Speaker 1: the content and me was worth it. And so I
Speaker 1: put my blood, sweat and tears into the content of
Speaker 1: each episode. I wanted it to be something that taught
Speaker 1: us as a people that therapy is okay and that
Speaker 1: should be something that we should welcome, and that no
Speaker 1: topic is taboo. And what I like is that even
Speaker 1: if you've never been in therapy, it's helpful because you
Speaker 1: could see certain topics and your like, that's the same question.
Speaker 1: And one of the things I'm glad that the network
Speaker 1: was open to is not just me because you know,
Speaker 1: the show takes place in Atlanta, and I don't live
Speaker 1: in Atlanta, but you know Mary a lot, you know,
Speaker 1: but I'm not I don't live there, and so what
Speaker 1: I wanted to do was find the tribe and the
Speaker 1: village of therapists to say, hey, Atlanta, you hit me
Speaker 1: up all the time and say, you know, I wish
Speaker 1: you lived in Atlanta. I wish you lived in Miami.
Speaker 1: But my thing with the show is let me find
Speaker 1: you the squad because even though I'm not there, let
Speaker 1: me tell you who I trust, so that if you
Speaker 1: need to call a therapist for this issue, here's who
Speaker 1: I would trust. And I'm just you know, I'm excited
Speaker 1: to be doing it. I'm excited to bring the con
Speaker 1: tent to the community and we'll see what happens for
Speaker 1: season two. AWESO. Al Right, well, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for coming through, and you know you're welcome anytime. And
Speaker 1: I hope we didn't together. Listen. J Johnson is here.
Speaker 1: We love you so much, and listen, we were so
Speaker 1: honored to have you on as a guest. And I
Speaker 1: feel like people are going to absolutely love love yeah
Speaker 1: for sure, to swallowing in wait to you come back
Speaker 1: and be like, so guess what happened? Right service cheers? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love you guys. Great