Speaker 1: Welcome to Bud meets Tworld, a podcast that began with
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars, wandered through castles, survived beaches, and
Speaker 1: spent an entire season debating the social hierarchy of cocktail parties.
Speaker 1: Along the way, Will and I rift on what I
Speaker 1: thought was a hypothetical observation. Maybe arranged marriage isn't the
Speaker 1: worst idea. Apparently our producers were listening. So now we
Speaker 1: are watching Married at First Sight season twenty, a show
Speaker 1: where complete strangers meet at the altar, say I do,
Speaker 1: and only then begin the awkward process of discovering whether
Speaker 1: they have anything in common whatsoever. We are Wilfordell, who
Speaker 1: loves love and believes marriage should be about the marriage,
Speaker 1: not the wedding, and Right or Strong, who loves love
Speaker 1: and made one observation about arranged marriage and is now
Speaker 1: being forced to defend it for an entire television season.
Speaker 1: Join us as experts, therapists, family members, and complete strangers
Speaker 1: all attempt the oldest social experiment in human history with confessionals.
Speaker 1: This is pod meets Twirled. All or Nothing? How you
Speaker 1: doing well?
Speaker 2: I'm good? I'm sorry, writer? What what is this show
Speaker 2: called all or Nothing?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: What is it Meredith for ciders. Is it maps maps?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the acronym M A F S has been what
Speaker 1: has been going around, and it just sounds like a disease.
Speaker 1: Mass mass got a bad case in the mass.
Speaker 2: From a jet ski, good public toilet and a jet ski.
Speaker 1: It can't happen. You can get maps from a jet ski.
Speaker 3: You can.
Speaker 1: This show is turning for me. It's making me very uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: Really, when did that happen when they when they left
Speaker 3: the honeymoon phase?
Speaker 2: Just like a regular relationship exactly.
Speaker 1: It's really because even when it's good, I'm like, now
Speaker 1: I'm like I feel invasive, when I'm like a fly
Speaker 1: on the wall. When people are happy, I'm like, well
Speaker 1: now I'm just judging them when they're fine, and then
Speaker 1: when they're in fight, it's painful to watch, Like the
Speaker 1: Nikki Sean stuff is rough.
Speaker 2: That's brutal. That's brutal.
Speaker 1: It's really hard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a couple and here's the thing, there's a
Speaker 3: couple couples, which I like to say as often as
Speaker 3: I can, there's a couple couples that I've completely and
Speaker 3: totally like teams is the wrong way to say, like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm team Nicky or I'm team Sean, Like I'm not
Speaker 3: on one team or another.
Speaker 2: But there's there's people that I don't know if they're.
Speaker 3: Producing it this way or if it's just the way
Speaker 3: that it's working out.
Speaker 2: But there's people where I was.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, I'm I get where they're coming from, and
Speaker 3: their partners really not helping, and then it's switched to
Speaker 3: where it's like, oh, now I think it's your fault
Speaker 3: of the stuff that's going on. And that's happened to
Speaker 3: me with a couple of the different couples that we've had.
Speaker 1: I feel like, I mean, I'm I'm impressed in general
Speaker 1: with how sensitive everybody is, Like how I guess I assumed,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe and this is because of just not
Speaker 1: having watched that much reality, but I assumed Reality TV
Speaker 1: was like a bunch of kind of superficial people, or
Speaker 1: like the way that they would present themselves would be
Speaker 1: a little more like posturing. And actually, like everybody on
Speaker 1: this show is pretty good like tapping into their feelings,
Speaker 1: talking about what they're going through, you know, even like
Speaker 1: Adam and Marissa, who are like sort of a caricature
Speaker 1: of like the everything's great.
Speaker 2: The bro couple.
Speaker 1: When she opens up at the dinner, I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: she's got great insight, like she's saying, you know, so,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just I'm I guess.
Speaker 3: I think was raised by parents to where your feelings
Speaker 3: matter when they yes.
Speaker 1: So you think it's too much that you think these
Speaker 1: people are like over Oh really yes, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're so old.
Speaker 3: School the helicopter parent like your eight and your feelings
Speaker 3: are important.
Speaker 2: No, they're not shut up into your job.
Speaker 1: But both Marissa and Adam came from not like not
Speaker 1: helicopter parenting, right. They both talk about how they didn't
Speaker 1: have that.
Speaker 3: They're the least connected to their feelings of everybody, I think.
Speaker 1: And I think they can still articulate it pretty well.
Speaker 3: You wonder the Heisenberg principle, though, You wonder just basically
Speaker 3: how much of it is being put on for the cameras,
Speaker 3: Like I hear like every time I hear Nikki and
Speaker 3: Sean talk to each other.
Speaker 1: They're the worst.
Speaker 3: These are just two human beings that would never talk
Speaker 3: like this if the cameras weren't around them.
Speaker 1: About that, maybe not to this extent.
Speaker 3: Soue and I started doing it it's hysterical, like I
Speaker 3: hear you, I hear the process, but I feel that
Speaker 3: you're gaslighting me.
Speaker 1: When gaslighting came out, I was like, there it is.
Speaker 1: It's like all those deals were there's some toxicity to
Speaker 1: our problematic processing. And I'm like, oh, don't say those
Speaker 1: words anymore. Just like this is TikTok. You've read, you've
Speaker 1: read all the advice columns, you've read every self help
Speaker 1: book as it comes out, the seven Habits of highly
Speaker 1: Effective Communicators, and you are just playing it to no.
Speaker 1: I want the two of them to just like put
Speaker 1: on boxing gloves and punch each other. Like that's where
Speaker 1: I'm at. I'm like, guys, see that you guys should
Speaker 1: just get naked, have to be naked in front of
Speaker 1: each other and wear boxing gloves and then have an argument.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Like be vulnerable, but
Speaker 1: then also be like armed to the teeth and like
Speaker 1: go at it. Because they're playing it so safe and yet,
Speaker 1: like they point out, their egos are still so big.
Speaker 1: Like both of them, they both think that they're gonna
Speaker 1: win even without being aggressive. So they're like passively aggressively
Speaker 1: trying to one up one another, trying to hurt one another,
Speaker 1: and it sucks.
Speaker 3: If you're trying to win, you're not in a relationship,
Speaker 3: you're not even in an argument.
Speaker 2: If you're trying to win, it's like you're just not
Speaker 2: listening to the other person.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I mean the distinction. And I think
Speaker 1: we've talked about this before, like for me, like the
Speaker 1: distinction between and I had a friend of friends point
Speaker 1: this out. We were talking about relationships and argument, Like,
Speaker 1: having conflict is obviously inevitable, having a disagreement obviously inevitable,
Speaker 1: and but the difference between like an argument or a
Speaker 1: conflict and a fight is when you start trying to
Speaker 1: hurt one another, like when you're actually trying to you know.
Speaker 1: And I had to realize that, like when my wife
Speaker 1: and I would be in arguments and I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm now just trying to hurt you, and like, you know,
Speaker 1: and like being able to recognize that in myself, like
Speaker 1: because of course it's like it, you know, because you
Speaker 1: get hurt and then you're like, well, I'm gonna hurt you,
Speaker 1: and it's like that's when it's never going to go anywhere.
Speaker 3: And again, that's a lot of times in an earned relationship,
Speaker 3: not the week, the first week you've been married.
Speaker 2: I know, it's amazing.
Speaker 1: I thought this was the end at the end of
Speaker 1: season or episode seven, I thought it was over. I
Speaker 1: know it.
Speaker 3: I mean, these are two people that are now just
Speaker 3: here because neither of them want to look like they
Speaker 3: gave up on national health exactly.
Speaker 1: He even says it. He's like, I'm committed. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: it's like, what does that have to do what?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm committed to this podcast writer. I hear you.
Speaker 3: I'm processing what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I just feel like there's something a little problematic in
Speaker 1: the way you're gaslighting me. There's a little it's it's
Speaker 1: a passive toxicity that.
Speaker 2: You're very controlling. Ryer, you're very controlling.
Speaker 1: Well, sometimes you could be a little crazy, and that's
Speaker 1: quoting your words back crazy. I definitely have learned that
Speaker 1: lesson have you? Have you ever made the mistake of
Speaker 1: calling somebody crazy? Relationship?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: I had a drink thrown in my face once midfight.
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: I compared her to her mom.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, you're more like your mother
Speaker 3: than you And before I got the R and mother out,
Speaker 3: the drink with ice and everything was right in my face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's intense, dud.
Speaker 3: Yeah, security was called at us at a hotel. It's
Speaker 3: never happened before. I was like twenty three.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Was this somebody who had been dating
Speaker 1: for a while.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've been together for like a year and a half.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's yeah.
Speaker 3: And because I've never been into like a fighty kind
Speaker 3: of relationship ever, and she was she got hot, man, Well.
Speaker 1: Maybe you got hot. She was trying to cool you down.
Speaker 1: You were the one on five. It worked.
Speaker 3: Oh hey, okay, have drink thrown in face once in
Speaker 3: life check.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't ever compare them to their mother. If they
Speaker 3: don't get along with their mother.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's probably a bad call, not a good thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah. No. A lot of this reads like it's like
Speaker 3: a Reddit post, Like it feels like it should start
Speaker 3: like I'm Nikki forty six female and my partner Sean,
Speaker 3: forty four male.
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, this is you guys just shouldn't be together.
Speaker 1: It's just painful because, like I it's it. They're both
Speaker 1: they're both very articulate, they're both very they're very good
Speaker 1: at like presenting, and so it's just becomes this like
Speaker 1: you like I said, I just want them to scream
Speaker 1: at each other or or not and just like you know,
Speaker 1: lay down and whisper to each other. But because this
Speaker 1: like talking in circles, it's like the worst. It's like
Speaker 1: it's it all like whenever they are talking, it feels
Speaker 1: like they've already been talking for six hours and we're
Speaker 1: not getting anywhere, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: And it's like that's circular conversation and you're like.
Speaker 1: This is it's over in the morning and we're having
Speaker 1: this fight and we're still and neither one of us
Speaker 1: are willing to let it go. Like yeah, and I
Speaker 1: hate that feeling. That is like literally the worst feeling
Speaker 1: in the world that I you know, just never want
Speaker 1: to be in again.
Speaker 2: My love one of them.
Speaker 3: I mean, he kind of at one point said, I'm
Speaker 3: giving I'm relinquishing it. I mean, you think one of
Speaker 3: them just has to give up the powers. It like, okay,
Speaker 3: one of them has to be the alpha. It's like,
Speaker 3: all right, fine, if that's what you want to do,
Speaker 3: then yes, you're in charge.
Speaker 1: But that's what he was doing at the end of
Speaker 1: I think that's what he was saying when he's like,
Speaker 1: it's all me. I'm I don't want to fight anymore,
Speaker 1: you know. And I think like he was trying to say, like,
Speaker 1: I will take responsibility, but of course he was in
Speaker 1: a way to sort of I think, so she had
Speaker 1: to be the one to say, okay, I will also
Speaker 1: take responsibility, which she's not about to do never.
Speaker 3: No. Yeah, this is one of the switches where it's
Speaker 3: like he's I don't buy him in this relationship. But
Speaker 3: now I'm like, all right, something's wrong with her in
Speaker 3: this relationship, and I think I know what it is.
Speaker 2: We've talked about this. She walked down the aisle, she
Speaker 2: saw him. I think you're right. She didn't realize that
Speaker 2: was going to be her husband.
Speaker 3: When she figured out that was her husband, she was
Speaker 3: horribly disappointed. And now it has to look like she's
Speaker 3: been trying hard and he's terrible to be with and
Speaker 3: they're going to break up and it's not her fault
Speaker 3: at all.
Speaker 2: That's I think, what she's trying to do, and it
Speaker 2: ain't working. The two of them just shouldn't be together,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 1: Let's move into episode six, when everybody's moving into new places. Now,
Speaker 1: I didn't quite get this so they get like a
Speaker 1: neutral apartment, yeah, to move into.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they both shared cohabitate until they then because then
Speaker 3: there's an episode if it's if it's like the old
Speaker 3: school series, then there's an episode where they have to
Speaker 3: decide if they're going to stay together, which one of
Speaker 3: their places they're going to move into.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they reference that in this, and I was like,
Speaker 1: so you're not fully married yet, do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like that sounds like there's a commitment choice moment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's yeah.
Speaker 3: You come you're married, legally married, and it's like do
Speaker 3: you want to stay together or do you want to
Speaker 3: get divorced before then? Because I mean every marriage and
Speaker 3: relationship there's all these logistical, like actual logistical fundamental issues
Speaker 3: you have to talk about. One of them is well
Speaker 3: I have an apartment and you have an apartment, so
Speaker 3: are we keeping one apartment?
Speaker 2: And it leads to fights.
Speaker 3: Some people are like I'm not getting rid of my place,
Speaker 3: and the other person's like, wow.
Speaker 1: So that's what we're to look forward to the next
Speaker 1: exact exactly.
Speaker 3: They you know, it's all that kind of stuff where
Speaker 3: it's like are we living together?
Speaker 2: What are we doing?
Speaker 3: Let's both get rid of our places and get a
Speaker 3: new place together. And then it's like, well, I'm not
Speaker 3: sure I want to make that commitment.
Speaker 1: While ninety percent of them haven't even had sex, Like
Speaker 1: it's so weird. Yeah, So how do you make these
Speaker 1: decisions when you're like still processing whether you can be
Speaker 1: intimate with this person, let alone spend the rest of
Speaker 1: your life being intimate, Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Yeah, or you can be with somebody like Courtney who
Speaker 3: doesn't want to be into or have deep conversations and
Speaker 3: you just kind of.
Speaker 2: Go, great, then what the am I doing here? Courtney?
Speaker 1: So she's I take it she's not your favorite anymore.
Speaker 3: It's not that she's not my favorite, it's just somebody
Speaker 3: that clearly is not ready for this process, right, I
Speaker 3: mean she seems like a very nice person who's got
Speaker 3: a ton of credit.
Speaker 1: I would say, how can you be ready for this?
Speaker 1: This show is bonkers and this is.
Speaker 3: Like but you got to at least be open to
Speaker 3: the idea that it's like you're they're pairing you with
Speaker 3: something if you never watched the show.
Speaker 2: It's like I'm saying, of like, court the people.
Speaker 3: On the show have to know exactly what this show
Speaker 3: is and so if you come in going, hey, I'm
Speaker 3: not ready to be intimate in any way.
Speaker 2: And that doesn't mean sex.
Speaker 3: Any source of hands and holding hands, kissing, even like
Speaker 3: getting under the covers and staring at each other with
Speaker 3: the lights off and like telling each other stories and
Speaker 3: intimate things.
Speaker 2: Close to each other.
Speaker 3: That's being intimate. You know, you don't have to touch
Speaker 3: each other. And then when you know, some people are like, yeah,
Speaker 3: oh god, I hate those deep conversations too. It's like, well,
Speaker 3: then what are we doing here? Like you're just not
Speaker 3: you're you are not ready for this process. And I
Speaker 3: think I think there's a couple of people that are
Speaker 3: like that. M hmm.
Speaker 1: All right, Well we see uh Felippe and Tory moving
Speaker 1: into the new place. He's afraid of heights, Adam and
Speaker 1: Marissa hanging up the jet ski. Oh dude, it's like
Speaker 1: it's like carrying her across the altar and here's the
Speaker 1: jet ski key. It's going right there, babe. Katelyn Devin.
Speaker 1: I love this fake plant moment where she's like, wait,
Speaker 1: that plant's real. I was like it was like that
Speaker 1: twenty eight days later thing. Remember we talked about how
Speaker 1: like you have to be able to take care of it,
Speaker 1: and she's like, no, no, no, I kill everything. I was like, oh, red.
Speaker 2: Flag, I cannot have killed this plant. It cannot have
Speaker 2: been my fault.
Speaker 1: But it's like she really anything like a plant is
Speaker 1: too needy for her. So it's like, Devin, dude, like
Speaker 1: you're screwed. Man, Like, if you want anything from her,
Speaker 1: if you have any needs, it's going to be perceived
Speaker 1: as needy like that. It's so clear to me, And
Speaker 1: he is such a good guy. By the end of
Speaker 1: these two episodes, I was like, tell you you were
Speaker 1: doing the best, Like you were working so hard to
Speaker 1: accommodate somebody who I like, I would be so bad
Speaker 1: in a relationship with this person, Like oh god, yeah,
Speaker 1: like just I need some yeah, compliments, affections. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So your response to is that plant alive? He goes, no,
Speaker 2: it's real. Her response was ill clue.
Speaker 1: And that's a plant in our house?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, is that baby crying again? If you
Speaker 2: feed it? Like whatever?
Speaker 3: No, it was yeah, Wow, this is this is Jeff's doing. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, you always like to blame Jeff I do.
Speaker 1: I I mean, yeah, I shouldn't psychoanalyze too much because
Speaker 1: I'm surprised they haven't brought any of that up. I
Speaker 1: guess they're just kind of leaving the parents.
Speaker 2: I'm not there yet. We'll get it eventually, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: All right. Mecca and bel Jolie are filling up their
Speaker 1: closet with her clothes. Nick and Courtney. Nick is a
Speaker 1: little lonely, seems like Michelle and Cameron. She's cutting cucumber.
Speaker 1: He wants them thinner. Talks about this moment, which he
Speaker 1: brings up a couple of times in these twosoes, about
Speaker 1: when they got stuck at the airport, and this is
Speaker 1: like a great moment. And this is one of the
Speaker 1: only times on the show when they've referenced off camera moments. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there must be a lot of off camera interaction that
Speaker 1: they're but the which is good. I yes, because they
Speaker 1: were just chilling together at an airport, stuck in Pittsford,
Speaker 1: they have a thirteen hour travel day, and like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, he's he's happy because they had that like
Speaker 1: an authentic moment and it was off camera. And I
Speaker 1: wish the other people had these too, Like they must
Speaker 1: have them. I don't know. I'm assuming they do, but
Speaker 1: it's weird. That they don't talk about them or reference
Speaker 1: them anyway. Seems like he's happy with her and she's
Speaker 1: you know, into it too. They're doing pretty well.
Speaker 3: They might be the coming up on the outside couple
Speaker 3: like and coming up on the outside on a nowhere
Speaker 3: Alan Cameron like, it's like, wow, this after this, these
Speaker 3: two episodes, I was kind of like, okay.
Speaker 1: Right, okay, right, because Phelipe Bantry took a little step
Speaker 1: back in some way.
Speaker 3: Well he he really took a couple steps back in
Speaker 3: my opinion.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, we'll get into it. I know, all right,
Speaker 1: back with Flip Bantry. He's sad the honeymoon's over, but
Speaker 1: she's saying there's still so much to know about each other.
Speaker 1: They are not having sex. It's too early, Nicki and Sean.
Speaker 1: They cheers to a good night's sleep and let's get
Speaker 1: back at it tomorrow. Like it's a freaking job.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I punch it in the morning, morning,
Speaker 3: Nicky morning.
Speaker 1: Ready the six hours of argument get into this. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. So this is where we find out that
Speaker 1: he called her crazy, which he disputes that he was
Speaker 1: actually quoting her. And these two are just they're both
Speaker 1: good arguers, you know, and I think one of they're
Speaker 1: both used to dominating in a conversation. Like they both
Speaker 1: are really good. Yes, Like I feel like in past
Speaker 1: relationships they've been the one who's been able to like
Speaker 1: run the way the argument goes. Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? If there is an argument and now they've
Speaker 1: kind of met their match, is in some ways a
Speaker 1: sign that they were well put together, you know, on
Speaker 1: the match making front.
Speaker 3: Well, they've said that on paper, Yes, they're great together.
Speaker 3: On paper, they have it has whatever you need. They're driven,
Speaker 3: they're both they it seem like they're both spiritual people.
Speaker 3: They're you know, it seems like on paper it's what
Speaker 3: you want. But you get him together and it's just well.
Speaker 1: In her confessional, she talks about the fact that maybe
Speaker 1: that she told him that she's not attracted to him,
Speaker 1: that's exacerbated some of his insecurities. Ye think, uh, And
Speaker 1: so she thinks that he's ratcheting up the conflict, And
Speaker 1: I think that's an accurate reading. Yeah, And it's interesting
Speaker 1: that she can't she can say that, but she can't
Speaker 1: translate that to how she treats him, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like she could say I am sorry, I
Speaker 1: hurt your feelings. You're coming from a place of being hurt.
Speaker 1: Let's just be nicer to one another. And she's not
Speaker 1: even saying that. She's still get into it with him,
Speaker 1: and like, ugh.
Speaker 3: How do you feel about because this happens oftentimes in
Speaker 3: arguments and it's usually the man who's breaking it down.
Speaker 3: How do you feel about this semantic argument of I
Speaker 3: didn't call you a bitch, I said you were acting
Speaker 3: like a bitch.
Speaker 1: Oh, I think it's actually very important you see, I
Speaker 1: do too, But just make that distinction because like I
Speaker 1: will never likely with kids, you have to do it too,
Speaker 1: because I make sure that I never call Indy anything.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't say
Speaker 1: like you are essentially, but you're acting like this, being
Speaker 1: this because you know, and and he gets all he's like,
Speaker 1: you called me an idiot. I'm like, no, I said
Speaker 1: you're doing something stupid, you know or whatever. And it
Speaker 1: is a distinction because like, you don't want to essentialize
Speaker 1: anything you know, So.
Speaker 3: Is you're acting crazy better than you're crazy?
Speaker 1: Not in my marriage, I cannot say that the sea
Speaker 1: word is off. The seaword has been off for off.
Speaker 1: The table for about ten years now, a.
Speaker 2: Much different than most people do.
Speaker 1: You cannot, and I've learned all the variations on crazy
Speaker 1: are also not okay, you're crazy, unstable, sat, it's a friend,
Speaker 1: and uh, monstrously. I don't know, it's emotional.
Speaker 2: I said you were an emotional nightmare. Nice, you were crazy.
Speaker 2: There's a difference.
Speaker 1: I said you were completely unhinged. That's not that's different. No, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I can't. You know, you have to not say any
Speaker 1: of those things if you can avoid it. But when
Speaker 1: you're describing each other's behavior, I mean, no, Like the
Speaker 1: thing for me that's you know, a huge something that
Speaker 1: I learned probably too late, not until I was in
Speaker 1: my thirties, was like the eye statement things, you know,
Speaker 1: like saying how you feel about something, like I felt
Speaker 1: this way, right I am? You know I am, like
Speaker 1: because then it's like kind of indisputable, you know, because
Speaker 1: if you're telling somebody what they did wrong, it's like
Speaker 1: that's what you're arguing about when you're just like, look,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling this way and it hurts me that this happened,
Speaker 1: and they you know, when you said this, this was
Speaker 1: my reaction, and like that's indisputable, right, So then the
Speaker 1: person has to sort of either take defend their action
Speaker 1: orledge that they didn't want to hurt you or you know,
Speaker 1: how are I But it's that was like the big
Speaker 1: thing for me. It was like, I can only be
Speaker 1: responsible for how I'm feeling, not like how you're feeling
Speaker 1: or how you were acting.
Speaker 3: I remember in middle school I got one of the
Speaker 3: greatest lessons ever. We had one of those school meetings
Speaker 3: where everybody came around and they had some guest speaker
Speaker 3: and he stood stood on stage and he said, all right,
Speaker 3: here's here's He was talking about getting into fights with people,
Speaker 3: in relationships with people, and he goes, here's what I
Speaker 3: want everybody to do.
Speaker 2: He goes, hold your.
Speaker 3: Hands out as far as you can and then slap
Speaker 3: them together as hard as you can. One, two, three, go,
Speaker 3: and everybody went whack. And he went, sorry, do your
Speaker 3: hands still sting?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So sorry is not going to always make everything better.
Speaker 3: He's like, I apologize for making you slam your hands together,
Speaker 3: but your hands still sting, So don't ever forget that
Speaker 3: that one word doesn't magically make And I was like
Speaker 3: eleven years old. I was like, oh man, I still
Speaker 3: think about that every once in a.
Speaker 1: While, Like, that's a good call.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm never gonna like just saying I'm sorry isn't
Speaker 3: necessarily going to make everything right.
Speaker 1: So yeah, gonna have the feelings right, You're still gonna
Speaker 1: have Yeah, that's interesting. Adam and Marissa. He is shaving
Speaker 1: and into his neck, which I find like whatever, But
Speaker 1: Marissa says it's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 3: It was cool, though she she didn't realize it's answered
Speaker 3: jet Ski, So yeah, is jet Ski.
Speaker 1: He's gonna have to change the name of his to
Speaker 1: Marissa to Which one am I going to ride today? Bib,
Speaker 1: Maurissa one? Or Marissa too.
Speaker 2: You're gonna be I'm gonna be vibing with one of
Speaker 2: my I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna be vibing with one of my bibs, bib.
Speaker 2: One of my ams today is going to be rattling
Speaker 2: my balls? Which one?
Speaker 3: Is? It?
Speaker 2: Gonna be?
Speaker 1: All right? And Nick of a Walsit challenge. He makes
Speaker 1: it a whole minute and ten seconds before he collapses.
Speaker 2: Of course, he at nine seconds longer than I could
Speaker 2: do it. Those things?
Speaker 1: Really, a minute is I can do a minute? I've
Speaker 1: done the seven minute workout. Oh no, I guess that's
Speaker 1: only thirty seconds when you do the seven minute workout.
Speaker 1: It's the only time I've ever done waal sitz is
Speaker 1: during that little.
Speaker 3: Out about six six minutes and forty five seconds before
Speaker 3: that seven minute workout ends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sewan and Nicky in the morning, and he did
Speaker 1: not sleep a lot because he was on the couch.
Speaker 1: And then he says they are both bright sons and
Speaker 1: he's happy to let her be the sun.
Speaker 3: It just sounds like it's his. Everything's like a hallmarky thing. Also,
Speaker 3: when you sleep on the couch, do you not get
Speaker 3: a blanket?
Speaker 1: I know, he just lays there with his robe on,
Speaker 1: with his.
Speaker 3: Face down, with his rob on. It's just like you
Speaker 3: don't even get a pillow. Get out, like, oh god.
Speaker 1: Well, he says, he goes, this is what it feels
Speaker 1: like to be in the doghouse. Yeah, Marissa and Adam.
Speaker 1: He has taken her to the cabin and he says
Speaker 1: this she is the jet ski the other woman, and
Speaker 1: there her ice picks in the ceiling, which she admits
Speaker 1: is a little creepy.
Speaker 2: Uh did you think this was his cabin?
Speaker 1: What do you mean?
Speaker 3: I mean when I first saw the show, when they
Speaker 3: first go and.
Speaker 1: The visit him to tell him that he is on
Speaker 1: the show.
Speaker 3: I thought this was the little shack next to the
Speaker 3: water where you keep all the stuff. And then up
Speaker 3: the hill was the cabin and this is just where
Speaker 3: you keep No, that thing that's covered in the tarp,
Speaker 3: that's the cabin.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so you thought it was a boat house.
Speaker 3: Yes, I thought it was a tiny ramshackle boat house
Speaker 3: where he keeps like, Oh, this is where we keep
Speaker 3: all the stuff for the lake, and we can sit
Speaker 3: down here.
Speaker 2: But you walk up these stairs and there's the nice
Speaker 2: house at the top. No, that's his house.
Speaker 1: He said. It's a little cabin. Like he basically lives
Speaker 1: to jet ski and like do his work. I guess
Speaker 1: whatever tech work he does.
Speaker 2: This was not what I was expecting.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, Adam points out his degree. He pronounces
Speaker 1: kumluda cum laude, which I'm surprised you to just say
Speaker 1: cum loud. I was cum magnum, co cum magnum. I'm
Speaker 1: loud in college.
Speaker 2: I gotta wear a magnum to come all right.
Speaker 1: Then they're gonna hit the jet ski let's and she's
Speaker 1: screaming the whole time, which I didn't buy.
Speaker 2: But this cut from like, let's ride the jet ski.
Speaker 1: To just I know, but she's not actually screaming, but
Speaker 1: just put put in.
Speaker 2: Then Yeah, it was funny.
Speaker 1: I mean the thing about jet scheme, it's like, even
Speaker 1: watching it, they're trying to make it seem excited and thrilling,
Speaker 1: but like it's not. It's not. You can't tip over
Speaker 1: in these things, like no, you just are skidding along
Speaker 1: the water, Like, yeah, it's not. I don't understand the thrill.
Speaker 3: Here the easiest extreme sport, which is why you can
Speaker 3: rent them to like twelve year olds.
Speaker 2: Really, this is not like a.
Speaker 1: Thing and like if you're like going down like a
Speaker 1: river or something like dangerous, but he's like wide open
Speaker 1: on a lake. Yeah, we can do a bunch of
Speaker 1: fast circles and then we've done the thing. We've done
Speaker 1: the jet ski. Like the extent of this experience, I
Speaker 1: don't understand it.
Speaker 2: Multiple times a day.
Speaker 1: It's a really interesting thing.
Speaker 2: Hey, everybody's got their own hobby, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I guess it's harmless except that they're loud
Speaker 1: and obnoxious on a lake. Like I hate hearing jet
Speaker 1: skis when I'm on a lake person.
Speaker 2: That's why. That's the thing I loved about Airhead is
Speaker 2: they weren't allowed.
Speaker 1: They weren't huh no.
Speaker 3: Absolutely not allowed to have no. I kind of awake
Speaker 3: whatever they are. He's he's on a jet ski. But
Speaker 3: then is that different than the stand up jet ski?
Speaker 3: Do they even make the stand up?
Speaker 1: They don't even make those anymore. Man, I did the Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did that when I was like ten or eleven.
Speaker 1: It's so much fun, very hard. Took me all day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I told you that I did e foiling, yes,
Speaker 1: which which is just super fun and it's silent because
Speaker 1: it's electric engine, so you're just like whoo and you're
Speaker 1: like you feel like you're like flying above the water
Speaker 1: and it's hard. It's like a real skill and you
Speaker 1: have to like, yeah, it's fun. Yeah, super fun. But
Speaker 1: jet scheme, No, not my champ. All right. Caitlin and
Speaker 1: Devon talking about their routines, how he hates cleaning the bathroom.
Speaker 1: They have this little moment over sharing their food and
Speaker 1: their takeout food. This is where like they're a little
Speaker 1: you know, they're not they're not connecting completely. He he says, like,
Speaker 1: don't worry I won't be waiting at home like a
Speaker 1: puppy dog, and she like jumps in with good, good,
Speaker 1: good great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just I guess there are some people. And
Speaker 2: it wasn't in this episode as several episodes.
Speaker 3: Down the line, but you really get her friends when
Speaker 3: her friends come in and you're like, oh, oh they
Speaker 3: I mean watched it. Oh yeah, well it's well, it's
Speaker 3: just one of those things where there are some people
Speaker 3: that relish being away from their partner and having their
Speaker 3: own life as much.
Speaker 2: As they do being with their partner.
Speaker 3: And hey, while that might work for some people, that's
Speaker 3: just not my jam with my partner. I don't understand
Speaker 3: the Hey, if we're going to be in a relationship,
Speaker 3: I need you to leave for three weeks a month.
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, then we're not in a relationship.
Speaker 3: So she's given those vibes of just like, hey, telling
Speaker 3: me that you want to be with me, or holding
Speaker 3: my hand or us having an intimate dinner together. That's
Speaker 3: not needy, bro, that's that's just part of a relationship.
Speaker 2: So something's going on.
Speaker 1: You're clearly a Golden Retriever, not a black cast.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm a black, black retrievers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, she I mean it seems extreme to me too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I you know, he's he's so sensitive to it,
Speaker 1: Like he says in this scene, you know, I want
Speaker 1: to respect you're alone time. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: a needy guy. So he is, like he's trying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's like I put I put people like this,
Speaker 3: and it's not just her, it's all people like this
Speaker 3: in the same kind of category. I do dudes that
Speaker 3: get married but still need to sleep around a lot.
Speaker 3: It's like, if you know you're that guy, just don't
Speaker 3: get married. Yeah, it's nobody's going to judge you for
Speaker 3: being the single guy for your entire life sleeping around.
Speaker 3: If that's what you want to do, fine, but don't
Speaker 3: then get married and then go do it. So it's like,
Speaker 3: if you need your alone time all the time, don't
Speaker 3: get married. Don't be in a relationship, right, it's really easy.
Speaker 3: But don't then jump into a relationship or a marriage
Speaker 3: or this experiment and then be like, by the way,
Speaker 3: I need you to not be anywhere near me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, that's what's so interesting about this show in general,
Speaker 1: is that you have to have It's all about the institution, right,
Speaker 1: And it's like it's it's like the struggle with the
Speaker 1: institution of marriage and what people are bringing as their
Speaker 1: expectation to the because they didn't know who they were getting,
Speaker 1: so they couldn't you know, you didn't pick the person
Speaker 1: and then decide on the institution. The institution was decided upon.
Speaker 1: I want to be married, Yeah, and now they get
Speaker 1: to discover what that actually means. Yeah, the person and
Speaker 1: it's so fat, it's so backwards, you know. But yeah,
Speaker 1: and it is very conservative, right because that's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you have arranged marriages because culturally, your parents or whatever
Speaker 1: say marriage will be good for you, and therefore we're
Speaker 1: going to pick the person to sort of pressure you
Speaker 1: into the situation that hopefully you want. But yeah, the
Speaker 1: people that choose to be on this show, it's it's
Speaker 1: a fascinating thing.
Speaker 3: You could also argue that they, on paper are actually
Speaker 3: a pretty great couple in that he's a professional rugby
Speaker 3: player on the road playing all the time, and she
Speaker 3: wants to be left alone. The problem is he wants
Speaker 3: her to come. He's like, no, I want you to
Speaker 3: be with me when I'm on the road. That's what
Speaker 3: I'm that's what I'd like. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So yeah, And what she says in her confessional right
Speaker 1: here is that she says she just wants a relationship
Speaker 1: that is easy, and this is the type of relationship
Speaker 1: she hates. And I'm like, you mean one with another person?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do you know exactly to your point? And it's like,
Speaker 1: what did you think marriage? What? Or what do you
Speaker 1: I mean, what is your past relationship? What have they
Speaker 1: been like where you're literally like always alone or not
Speaker 1: needing to show with somebody who doesn't need anything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that's like a non relationship, you know, like if
Speaker 1: somebody doesn't need anything anyway. But she's affected by it.
Speaker 1: She is crying, you know. So it's interesting that she's
Speaker 1: emotional about it. I don't know, in a weird way.
Speaker 1: I'm optimistic because he's he's not stomping his feet and
Speaker 1: saying like I deserve this. He's trying really hard, and
Speaker 1: I think that that is going to go a long
Speaker 1: way because if I think if he makes the effort
Speaker 1: to like take a step back and to give her space,
Speaker 1: you know, they might be able to meet in the middle,
Speaker 1: Like she might be able to come too.
Speaker 3: I hope, So, because I mean it sounds like an
Speaker 3: awful thing to say. I hope so for him, because
Speaker 3: I really like him. And at this point I'm not
Speaker 3: team Kate. That's not to say I won't get there,
Speaker 3: but at this point I feel like he's trying and
Speaker 3: wants a regular relationship. And when your partner is like,
Speaker 3: we have a plant iw and that's what.
Speaker 2: I'd be like, Okay.
Speaker 1: And then we get into some of the the Expert
Speaker 1: sessions with Paul and Lisa doctor Pez what love Them
Speaker 1: Love the Love the Experts.
Speaker 3: I really Yeah, he strikes.
Speaker 1: Me as a little I don't know what the word is,
Speaker 1: like he seems put on.
Speaker 2: You think like it's like he's affected.
Speaker 1: Maybe yes, I feel like he's too composed, like he's
Speaker 1: a little too like he looks too good, Like he's
Speaker 1: just so like hmm. And I just feel like he's
Speaker 1: planned everything and I want a little more spontaneity. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'm overreading it, you know, but she I like the
Speaker 1: way she is with the couples, and we haven't seen
Speaker 1: him as much with the couples we've seen.
Speaker 2: I think stunning by the way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think she's Yeah, I think she's stunning
Speaker 3: a bit of a question on Doctor Lisa.
Speaker 2: But she don't.
Speaker 1: She seems more relaxed. He's just not relaxed to me,
Speaker 1: you know. Anyway, they get into a Nick and Courtney's
Speaker 1: session and they are feeling compatible but not intimate, no kissing.
Speaker 1: He is simply not sure if she's attracted to him.
Speaker 1: She's not comfortable. She talks about how he tried to
Speaker 1: and she's aware of it because he talks about She
Speaker 1: talks about how he tried to cuddle with her on
Speaker 1: their honeymoon and she just laid there. Yeah, pepe La pew,
Speaker 1: pepe cat, the unfortunate, the poor cat. He would just
Speaker 1: be like, come on, my darling. So she, uh, Doctor
Speaker 1: Paz asks are there any turn offs? And Courtney says
Speaker 1: he's not a handy guy. This is too bad, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm right, but then you know, she just kind of
Speaker 1: goes off. She's spinning, man, like Courtney's spinning. Now, she's
Speaker 1: got lots of red flags. Yeah, well, she's just like
Speaker 1: it's this and then I think if you touch me
Speaker 1: this long, then it means maybe that. And I said,
Speaker 1: oh wow, spirals quickly. Yeah, and it's like she's kind
Speaker 1: of in her head and yeah, you know, they what
Speaker 1: they all agree. All three of them agree that they're
Speaker 1: this sort of flirty light spark isn't there, And so
Speaker 1: a list it recommends touching, grabbing cheeks, trying to neutralize
Speaker 1: Courtney's fears of you know, physical intimacy, and this is Yeah,
Speaker 1: it just does seem like for because they got married
Speaker 1: first before they could have any sort of physical affection
Speaker 1: for one another. It seems like the equation that Courtney's making,
Speaker 1: which is that like, if I'm sharing physical affection with
Speaker 1: my husband, it's basically going to lead right to sex
Speaker 1: with a stranger. Yes, I mean that that is kind
Speaker 1: of the truth, but not necessarily, Like the point of
Speaker 1: this whole thing is that you have to just try,
Speaker 1: you know. But she's terrified of like kind of being
Speaker 1: forced to have sex with a stranger, which is totally understandable,
Speaker 1: of course.
Speaker 2: It's like, but again, you can there's so many ways
Speaker 2: of being intimate that have nothing to do with sex.
Speaker 1: Yes, but she is, you know, because of the commitment
Speaker 1: that they've made to each other. This is where like
Speaker 1: the conceit of the show, I'm just like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can see you know, between like with her and with Torri,
Speaker 1: with Felipe too. They they're having a sort of like
Speaker 1: pretty rational fearful reaction to sure like intense intimacy with
Speaker 1: somebody that they've only known a few days on camera
Speaker 1: and then on camera exactly exactly. But it's also kind
Speaker 1: of like what that is kind of what you signed
Speaker 1: up for and you're gonna have to I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's a weird it's a weird aspect of the show
Speaker 1: that like, Yeah, I don't know, I don't know if
Speaker 1: it would be different in like real arranged merit situations,
Speaker 1: Like I wonder how they work that out.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, you know, back in the days of royalty,
Speaker 3: they would arrange the marriage. You'd have the marriage and
Speaker 3: then they literally sit in the marital bed naked with
Speaker 3: an entire group of people around them watching them consummate.
Speaker 2: So it's not I.
Speaker 1: Have to show the sheet the sheets afterwards to prove
Speaker 1: that they did it. Yeah, it's like really press Maybe
Speaker 1: that's what a ver age marriage is, like you have
Speaker 1: to sleep together first, you married it first, like maths,
Speaker 1: but you also have to you have to because then
Speaker 1: it kind of gets it over, because it does seem
Speaker 1: like Adam and Morissa got it over with you know,
Speaker 1: you got the job done, and then it's like it
Speaker 1: allowed it like releases some of the tension, you know.
Speaker 1: But but like all the rest of them, they don't
Speaker 1: even have a chance to vibe. I know, maybe maybe
Speaker 1: that's it. We gotta gotta make that part of the
Speaker 1: show next season. You do, I do? Now go upset?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: Meccas going is going off to work in the morning,
Speaker 1: says he gave her a kiss, and we get to
Speaker 1: see them cooking together and they're flirting, but she is
Speaker 1: now backing off because she's saying she's not going to
Speaker 1: chase her man and they talk about their relationship history.
Speaker 1: I thought there was a really cute scene with him
Speaker 1: cooking the food.
Speaker 2: They're also just this doneing couple together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're so like, Yeah, if you were to cast
Speaker 1: a couple for TV shows, they're the ones. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: they both discussed missing their parents, you know, like she
Speaker 1: never had a relationship with her dad at all, and
Speaker 1: she would post on social media every Father's Day and
Speaker 1: then when she finally met him at the age of twenty,
Speaker 1: he needed the DNA test. This is rough, man, This
Speaker 1: is the kind of stuff you just see haunt and
Speaker 1: we went through this within the city. Like with Kenny,
Speaker 1: it's like these wounds just don't go away, you know,
Speaker 1: And she she knows it, like she says it perfectly.
Speaker 1: She's like, we're not going to heal each other's wounds,
Speaker 1: but we can soothe them. So I think it's cool
Speaker 1: that both of them are so aware of this because
Speaker 1: I feel like people I know that didn't have a parent,
Speaker 1: you know, it could linger into their thirties and forties,
Speaker 1: like they wouldn't be able to talk about it or
Speaker 1: even acknowledge that they wanted it. So this is cool
Speaker 1: that these two are both like, ohwhere like we have
Speaker 1: daddy issues. I have daddy issues, you have mommy issues.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, like this is the thing, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's work through it together. Yeah like that.
Speaker 1: But then he laughs and says this thing about like
Speaker 1: I've been matched with my best friend, which maybe is.
Speaker 2: It could be a good thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they're Yeah, Torri and Felipe go wine tasting.
Speaker 1: She says they're yin and yang, And she says it's
Speaker 1: hard to be transparent. She doesn't want to share when
Speaker 1: she goes through hard things, and she opens up about
Speaker 1: the fact that her mom had cancer, which he I
Speaker 1: thought was super sensitive and well, you know, reacted well
Speaker 1: to He's receptive, and so it's interesting to see how
Speaker 1: like they they were vibing pretty you know, but she
Speaker 1: has been holding back, like we're seeing that she was
Speaker 1: holding back in ways that she wasn't being completely transparent,
Speaker 1: but sure she is. And then she opens up about
Speaker 1: her charcuterie board Instagram.
Speaker 2: Which is funny, which this whole bit was great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then Devin and Caitlin are in session with
Speaker 1: doctor Paz and they discussed the the the gym morning incident.
Speaker 1: Caitlyn feels like she is the villain. Lisa tells Devin
Speaker 1: that less is more, and then when he says is
Speaker 1: like a very specific thing that he likes eye contact,
Speaker 1: she really can't do it.
Speaker 2: We can't even look at him. She can't look at him.
Speaker 1: But then when she's asked if she's attracted, Caitlyn's like
Speaker 1: super quick to say yeah. So Lisa's advice is, yes,
Speaker 1: you guys have just met. It's only been a few
Speaker 1: so like just work on as if you're dating each other,
Speaker 1: which is, you know, the weird backwards way that this
Speaker 1: whole thing goes.
Speaker 3: I just realized just with her name that if doctor
Speaker 3: Lisa ever wanted to do another job, she should open
Speaker 3: a marijuana store and call it the PAS Dispensary.
Speaker 2: Be great, love it.
Speaker 1: Oh God. Nicky and Sean are getting ready for bed.
Speaker 1: He's washing himself with a washcloth while she removes to makeup.
Speaker 2: He does a whit he does the fastest, like.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're on her side about this stuff.
Speaker 3: Fine, Oh yes, oh my god, yes, gold bathe before
Speaker 3: you get into my bed. He like, why, he wipes
Speaker 3: himself down with a towel he found in the ground
Speaker 3: of a gas station, and.
Speaker 1: She's got a whole process by the time she gets
Speaker 1: into bed. Man, she just she's like, so, did you
Speaker 1: wash all.
Speaker 2: The parts exactly?
Speaker 1: She just has the ick so like he did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, He's like, no, I just I do a quick
Speaker 3: wipe down like I do a quick horor bath. And
Speaker 3: I'm man, It's like, dude, you can't go wash yourself.
Speaker 3: I'm very much a hygiene person too, So yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess, like here's the thing, Like, I'm not
Speaker 1: super judging one way or the other. But he's clearly
Speaker 1: just not picking up from her like he could pick
Speaker 1: it up and be like, you know what, if you
Speaker 1: like me to be a little cleaner, I'll take a
Speaker 1: twenty minute shower like yeah, because.
Speaker 2: It's not shower. Yeah, it's not taking a shower.
Speaker 1: I know's he's not picking up the vibes like he's
Speaker 1: just he's like keep kind of keeps bragging about how
Speaker 1: little he does. I just get the job done with
Speaker 1: three minutes.
Speaker 2: Also, did he use the same washcloth on his face
Speaker 2: that he did on his junk?
Speaker 3: Like? Did he washcloth everything down and call it a day?
Speaker 3: Like then do it again to brush your teeth? Like,
Speaker 3: come on, bro, I'm about.
Speaker 1: To judge you. I'm like fine, if somebody doesn't take
Speaker 1: a shower like every day, I'm like or even like
Speaker 1: I'm fine with days. Man, it doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2: Ooh ooh, No, I like I like a nice clean body.
Speaker 1: Yeah for yourself. Yeah, you also demanded of your partner.
Speaker 2: No, no, I can't.
Speaker 1: Well that's what we're talking about though, Like.
Speaker 3: But I also probably couldn't be with somebody who would
Speaker 3: go days without showering. I would just know that right away.
Speaker 3: And it's not like I wouldn't try to change that person. Hey,
Speaker 3: you need to start showering all the time. I would
Speaker 3: just be like, this isn't my person, because I know
Speaker 3: my person might not be fanatical about it but also
Speaker 3: wants to be clean. Like I just know that's that's
Speaker 3: my person. So instead of trying to change a person,
Speaker 3: That's why I was single for so long. I never
Speaker 3: wanted to change people to become what I wanted them
Speaker 3: to be. I just waited to find the person that
Speaker 3: was my person. And then when I did, I didn't
Speaker 3: have to change shit.
Speaker 2: That was the joy.
Speaker 3: So I mean, I I just knew I would know
Speaker 3: if I'm if I'm with somebody's like I shower once
Speaker 3: a month, I'd be like, Okay, then we're just not
Speaker 3: gonna I'm not gonna try to change you.
Speaker 2: We're just not supposed to be together.
Speaker 1: Yeah I wonder. I mean for Alex, like she can't
Speaker 1: handle smells at all, so like no cologne, no even
Speaker 1: good smells, yeah, no, just any like she is so sensitive.
Speaker 3: What about cooking, like does she like yeah, but no,
Speaker 3: but like perfume or like any of that stuff.
Speaker 1: And so it's so funny. Even on this trip, I
Speaker 1: left my toiletry kit at at my parents' house. When
Speaker 1: we started off on this road trip, so I haven't
Speaker 1: had deodorant, and I ordered some deodorant to meet us
Speaker 1: on the road, you know, so I had some and
Speaker 1: she was like last night, she was like, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't think you need it. And I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, really She's like yeah, And I was
Speaker 1: like that's super interesting, Like.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I barely wear deodorant. I wear almost
Speaker 2: no deuterant.
Speaker 3: But it's because I shaved my pits, so I don't
Speaker 3: need I have no hair under my arm, so I
Speaker 3: don't need deodorant.
Speaker 2: Like ever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's strange to me.
Speaker 2: Oh see, No, it's the Oh it's the best.
Speaker 1: It's just to worry was stubble on your.
Speaker 3: Don't you keep it in the shower? You run a
Speaker 3: blade over it every time you take a shower. No,
Speaker 3: every two three days. That's it. And I never have
Speaker 3: to wear it because of all the stuff I've read
Speaker 3: about the stuff that's in in deodorant, and then if
Speaker 3: you even get the natural stuff then it just doesn't work.
Speaker 3: Or if I just shave my pits, I don't need
Speaker 3: to wear anything and I don't sweat.
Speaker 2: Wow, So it's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Alex wouldn't handle me with shape.
Speaker 2: But she also Alex.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know Alex well enough to know that
Speaker 3: Alex likes more of kind of a rugged guy, Like
Speaker 3: she likes your natural pheromones, and Harry is good and
Speaker 3: I'll be in the woods and you smell a campfire
Speaker 3: like all that stuff is great.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah right, yeah, yeah, no.
Speaker 1: I was surprised. I was like, because I only use
Speaker 1: natural deodorant, like I don't do you know, yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: but I was like, really even deodorant. She's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're probably fine, And I was like, oh, maybe there's
Speaker 1: one last thing to worry about. I don't know, it's great.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll have to pull my friends when we hang out.
Speaker 1: You tell me if I smell and then okay, fair enough.
Speaker 1: So it's not just I'm not just making the decision
Speaker 1: based on her.
Speaker 2: Okay, just just change washcloths. That's all I ask. From
Speaker 2: your face to your junk, that's all I have.
Speaker 1: And Felipe or moving in with her dog into their
Speaker 1: apartment and then we get this like hidden camera thing
Speaker 1: of them making out of the couch, which made me
Speaker 1: very uncomfortable to watch. I kind of felt like I
Speaker 1: was like I had stumbled on the wrong website, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? I was like, it's a
Speaker 1: hidden camera. There was like a hidden camera in the
Speaker 1: ball and they're like making out on the I know,
Speaker 1: but I feel like there's they were like he was
Speaker 1: like getting on top of her. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa?
Speaker 1: Am I allowed to see this? He felt invasive? Do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: I was like, it actually made me feel a little
Speaker 3: better about everything because it made me realize that obviously
Speaker 3: there isn't hidden cameras in.
Speaker 1: Their bedroom, because then they went to the right.
Speaker 3: Right, so it's like, obviously a camera crew comes in
Speaker 3: and films him in their bedroom. But when the camera
Speaker 3: crew leaves, they're like, we left one in the living
Speaker 3: room in case you guys get into a fight or something,
Speaker 3: cause it's happened, there's been there's been.
Speaker 1: Previous seas only on a hidden camera, or.
Speaker 3: Like somebody will come back at three o'clock in the
Speaker 3: morning and the other person will be like, where the
Speaker 3: hell have you been?
Speaker 2: Like that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Well, obviously the reason they're doing this is to set
Speaker 1: up what happens next, which is like she comes back
Speaker 1: after they have sex and sleeps in the couch because
Speaker 1: of this what she calls a strong dose of flight.
Speaker 1: And I do. I do think I see the story
Speaker 1: value in that and like, but it just made me like,
Speaker 1: oh I feel and the whole thing about this show,
Speaker 1: it is weird how much it ends up being about sex,
Speaker 1: you know, Like, I mean.
Speaker 2: A lot of society is I mean, that's the thing.
Speaker 3: And you wonder how many of these people have you know,
Speaker 3: you have some of them that have clearly said I've
Speaker 3: never had a one night stand in my life. I'm
Speaker 3: one of those people. I've never had a one night
Speaker 3: stand in my life. So I get that feeling.
Speaker 1: You never had a one night stand in your life.
Speaker 2: No, I've never had a one night stand in my life.
Speaker 1: Good for you, actually, I think that's a healthy thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it's it's one of those things where I now,
Speaker 3: I've known somebody for years and then one night will hook.
Speaker 1: Up, right, But you didn't like meet somebody, never have
Speaker 1: a one night stand and they'll never talk to him
Speaker 1: again or whatever happened never happened to me in my life.
Speaker 3: And some people are okay with that, and I'm no
Speaker 3: judgment and some people aren't. So you wonder if there
Speaker 3: is no marriage involved. I mean we've heard clearly some
Speaker 3: of the people on the show that are like, I've
Speaker 3: never had a one night stand. And then there's other
Speaker 3: people that are probably like, yeah, it's no big deal,
Speaker 3: and now he's he's my husband or she's my wife.
Speaker 3: So you know, like Adam, and you know, Adam clearly
Speaker 3: didn't have a have a problem with it the first night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you get you get those couples.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I've had one night stance and they're
Speaker 1: never good, Like they're never work, you know. And it's
Speaker 1: so funny because I feel like everyone says that at
Speaker 1: a certain age, everyone sort of says that you just
Speaker 1: realize like I don't know if that's mon or worth it,
Speaker 1: you know, like uh yeah, like even people that have
Speaker 1: done it for years, like where they're like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I spent my twenties having one night stands. Never they're
Speaker 1: rarely like that was a great time. It's usually like
Speaker 1: I was kind of sad and desperate and drunk a
Speaker 1: lot of the time or whatever, you know, And it
Speaker 1: was like it was like it was a pattern that
Speaker 1: they were kind of caught in and that they actually
Speaker 1: didn't get much out of it, I don't know, or
Speaker 1: maybe you gain some confidence, maybe you're like, you know
Speaker 1: much more, you know. Like I said, I've only done
Speaker 1: it a few times, and every time I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't think that's worth it. Like I'm much more of
Speaker 1: a monogamist. All right. Episode seven, Adam and Marissa. He's
Speaker 1: cooking some grilled cheese, classy meal, grilled cheese. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: this is a I mean, these two are great together.
Speaker 2: I think so too.
Speaker 1: It's interesting though, I know, it's interesting though watching this scene.
Speaker 1: So they talk about, you know, if they were to
Speaker 1: dated in college, and you know, he says like, well,
Speaker 1: I've been wanting to get married since I was eighteen,
Speaker 1: and she says that, like that's a good thing. She's like, oh, babe,
Speaker 1: Which is so funny because I would actually feel kind
Speaker 1: of the opposite in other words, well in the sense
Speaker 1: that like he's basically saying, I was looking for a
Speaker 1: person to fill a position in my life, as opposed
Speaker 1: to I was waiting for a person to inspire me
Speaker 1: to want to get married, do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: which is kind of like, look how I feel you
Speaker 1: would say, like you were you weren't going to get
Speaker 1: married unless you found somebody that was worth marrying, right,
Speaker 1: Whereas like he's saying, like I always wanted to get
Speaker 1: married and luckily, you know, and that just made me
Speaker 1: realize that is this entire show. They're all kind of
Speaker 1: like that in this show, Like this is a show,
Speaker 1: Well that's about people that want to get married exactly,
Speaker 1: So people who believe in the institution first and foremost,
Speaker 1: and they just want to partner that like they can
Speaker 1: pretzel into that institution. That's so like interesting because I'm
Speaker 1: the same way, like I I did like the idea
Speaker 1: of marriage. I think in the abstract, like I always
Speaker 1: liked having a partner. Let me put that worse, but
Speaker 1: like marriage was not something that was like definitely going
Speaker 1: to happen, you know. It was like once I was
Speaker 1: in a relationship long enough and be like, oh, I
Speaker 1: think we want to make this something else, Like we
Speaker 1: want to there's there's another level to this that we
Speaker 1: can achieve, and then we jumped into the institute to
Speaker 1: try and achieve that, whatever that was gonna be.
Speaker 3: I remember telling you we were on the set of
Speaker 3: Girl Meets World for some reason. We were at dinner
Speaker 3: the night before I was doing one of my episodes
Speaker 3: and I had been with Sue for like four or
Speaker 3: five years at this point, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 3: I'm thinking I'm going to propose, and You're like, just
Speaker 3: do it. And I went what You're like, just do it?
Speaker 3: It's marriage, Just do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I remember being like, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: Because I was I had just gotten married, and I
Speaker 1: felt I was feeling really good about it. Yeah, You're
Speaker 1: like I was feeling yeah, No, I I I'm a
Speaker 1: pretty I'm a big proselytizer for people to just like
Speaker 1: go for it, especially when you guys that you had
Speaker 1: been together for at that point a while, yeah, and
Speaker 1: almost so happy. We've been together five years before we
Speaker 1: got married, Yes, but you had already dated before that too,
Speaker 1: Like it just seemed obvious to me that you were
Speaker 1: so happy. It was like, just do it. Don't overthink this.
Speaker 1: Die didn't do it. He bore his wine for her,
Speaker 1: and she's slightly insecure about drinking, but Adam doesn't seem
Speaker 1: to mind this. I thought this was a big red
Speaker 1: flag when they were first, you know, when she handed
Speaker 1: the when she gave him the fireball thing, and he's
Speaker 1: like ohh drinking is going to be you know, but
Speaker 1: he seems like totally cool with her drinking water.
Speaker 3: He does. He seems he's he's as much of a
Speaker 3: bro and like a dude, and like, if he says
Speaker 3: vibing one more time, I'm going to find out where
Speaker 3: he lives just so I can get on my tiptoes
Speaker 3: to slap him on the knee because he's so much
Speaker 3: bigger than me.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 3: Other than that, he seems like he's actually a pretty
Speaker 3: stable guy. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I don't drink, Go ahead, drink,
Speaker 3: do what you gotta like, Okay, Yeah.
Speaker 1: They sit down and have a conversation about their transparency
Speaker 1: and he says this interesting thing. He says, there are
Speaker 1: times when they say something and you are so nice,
Speaker 1: and I'm afraid you're just going with the flow. And
Speaker 1: I think he's talking about the producers at that moment.
Speaker 1: Really they yeah, because he's like he's basically feeling her
Speaker 1: out for like, are you just going along with like me?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: Like, but he doesn't say whenever sometimes I suggest something
Speaker 1: and you just agree with me. He says, sometimes they
Speaker 1: suggest something and I'm like, oh, so the producers are sugg.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It was a weird like slip that.
Speaker 1: I was like, so they are kind of producing them
Speaker 1: hanging out, Like why don't you guys go over here
Speaker 1: and sit down and have dinner and talk? And he's
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, maybe I'm reading too
Speaker 1: much in it, but he said the word they, and
Speaker 1: I was like, so, how much are they producing these situations?
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's interesting to me.
Speaker 2: It's very interesting. But hey, vill jet Ski and everything,
Speaker 2: It'll be fine.
Speaker 1: Now we get into an evening where all the couples
Speaker 1: are going to have dinner together. We see everybody getting ready.
Speaker 1: I thought it was funny how everybody was excited for
Speaker 1: the tea to be spilled, like they all were expecting drama.
Speaker 1: None of them were talking about how they might be
Speaker 1: the drama.
Speaker 2: No, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Also, this is the closest all of the couples seemed.
Speaker 3: As they were getting ready to go, hear how all
Speaker 3: of the other couples weren't getting together. Yeah, and so
Speaker 3: it was like, wow, it's interesting how common enemies always.
Speaker 1: Well to Kember, they talked about that in the city.
Speaker 1: I forget who it was. You said, it in the city.
Speaker 1: It was such a it was like nothing brings people
Speaker 1: together than talking shit about it someone else.
Speaker 3: Yes, And that's what this whole thing was. The closest
Speaker 3: I'd ever seen them all together.
Speaker 2: Is it's true, It's true, Like we're getting ready for this.
Speaker 1: Yep. Before they go, Courtney and Nick have this long
Speaker 1: scene where she's curling her hair and this, yeah, because
Speaker 1: he really I thought he was being really sensitive and
Speaker 1: like wanted to hear about her previous relationships. And she
Speaker 1: admits that, like she hasn't had a good sexual side
Speaker 1: of any of her relationship. So it's like, okay, so
Speaker 1: this isn't just a Nick thing, do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, it wasn't just about this relationship. And
Speaker 1: then she says that she was cheated on and she
Speaker 1: let it happen, which is news I love. Where she
Speaker 1: goes love is blind and he goes, that's Netflix. Netflix's
Speaker 1: my favorite life.
Speaker 3: But it's also the thing that was really kind of
Speaker 3: red flaggy to me is that he was sitting there
Speaker 3: and he was like, so in your previous relationship of
Speaker 3: a year with intimacy, and she's like, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to make you wait a year to have sex, and
Speaker 3: it was like, I want him to be like, that's
Speaker 3: not what I was saying at all.
Speaker 1: I know he's clearly asking for just affection and also
Speaker 1: but just like, what's your timeline for that affection?
Speaker 2: I mean, is kissing? Okay? Is rubbing your shoulders? She
Speaker 2: instantly went into I'm not going to make you wait
Speaker 2: for a year to have sex. And it's like, wow, that,
Speaker 2: oh she's got That's.
Speaker 3: Where I meant, That's where I really started to be like, no,
Speaker 3: she's not ready for this. She's got a lot of
Speaker 3: stuff she needs to work out with herself before she
Speaker 3: can do this really well.
Speaker 1: She says that she says she she you know, interconfessional
Speaker 1: right here, she says she's coming in with baggage, Yeah,
Speaker 1: which I think is just it's true, and it's interesting
Speaker 1: that she didn't realize that. You know, she presented herself
Speaker 1: as so ready to get married and like hungry for
Speaker 1: this exact situation. You know, she was so confident and
Speaker 1: clear in her interviews in the beginning. You know that
Speaker 1: I was I'm surprised by how how little she knows herself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that's what this all is. You know, It's
Speaker 1: like so some people are so good at presenting a
Speaker 1: version of themselves and then it's not them, you know,
Speaker 1: it's not who they are.
Speaker 3: It's also interesting in being coming from a family where
Speaker 3: the physical, your physical appearance was so important. I mean
Speaker 3: they were all like a professional body right, Like how
Speaker 3: you look on the outside mattered a lot more, it
Speaker 3: seemed like, than what was going on with you.
Speaker 1: And you're right, And she's commented multiple times about how
Speaker 1: good looking the men are, and she's always talking about
Speaker 1: looks in this in this.
Speaker 2: Shit, because it's it's really you're right, she's And.
Speaker 1: It's funny because she because she said in her first
Speaker 1: interview in the first episode, she said she didn't want
Speaker 1: a bodybuilder because she doesn't want somebody who's like obsessed
Speaker 1: with the looks the same way that she kind of
Speaker 1: grew up in. Yeah, and yet I think she is
Speaker 1: kind of I mean, is this conditioning right, It's just.
Speaker 3: Well, again, if you it's it's something it's almost like
Speaker 3: an eating disorder, meaning it's something you can control.
Speaker 2: You can go to the gym, you can figure out
Speaker 2: what you're doing.
Speaker 3: You can make your body look amazing and then maybe
Speaker 3: people won't notice that inside you're broken because the outside
Speaker 3: looks amazing, and I think it's that a little bit
Speaker 3: with her, right.
Speaker 1: Uh So then we find out that Paul and Lisa
Speaker 1: are watching on cameras. The experts are hovering over this
Speaker 1: whole dinner, which is super interesting. They don't and the
Speaker 1: couples don't know that they're there.
Speaker 3: It started like that eminem song, Hey can you lift
Speaker 3: up my snare? I got no snare in my headphone.
Speaker 3: It's like, crank up our earpieces, thank you, and it's like,
Speaker 3: oh God, here we go.
Speaker 1: Paul immediately questions Adam's Hawaiian outfit and his crazy hat,
Speaker 1: which I thought was an interesting insight, and Paul says,
Speaker 1: this is how Adam moves to take control by any
Speaker 1: means necessary, like here's my jet ski, here's my outfit.
Speaker 1: And I was like, insightful, Paul, like that's a good point,
Speaker 1: and I don't you know it's interesting because he doesn't
Speaker 1: he I think Paul meant it kind of as a criticism,
Speaker 1: but I also just was like, yeah, but it's okay,
Speaker 1: Like I don't think Adam's dominating the rest of the dinner.
Speaker 1: In other words, like.
Speaker 3: No, I think he's peacocking for everybody else where. It's
Speaker 3: like you, I want to make sure that you talk
Speaker 3: about my outfit. Everyone's going to mention my outfit. Everybody's
Speaker 3: going to talk about me.
Speaker 1: And at least for everyone's going to acknowledge that we
Speaker 1: had sex already and that we're doing we're vibing.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm really curious where they're going to end
Speaker 1: up in, like, you know, three weeks in or whatever.
Speaker 3: This to me is going to be the couple that
Speaker 3: because the looks matter to him so much, that they're
Speaker 3: going to stay together after the show ends and you're
Speaker 3: going to read a month.
Speaker 2: Later that they've broken up. Really, Yeah, that's my call
Speaker 2: for them totally.
Speaker 1: I'm I've been so surprised by how they're vibing that
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be surprised if they can make it work.
Speaker 3: Maybe I hope I'm wrong. Love to see an actual
Speaker 3: love couple come out of this.
Speaker 2: That'd be great.
Speaker 1: Beljia, Lee and Mecha arrive looking fantastic, Peaches and Cream
Speaker 1: style as they say Devin and Caitlin arrived. They do
Speaker 1: seem happier a little you know, a little.
Speaker 2: More out of putting on for everybody else.
Speaker 1: Though, nick and Courtney show up and decide to hold
Speaker 1: hands as they walk in, and then it gets dropped super.
Speaker 2: Quick, instantly, instantly drops.
Speaker 1: And then Nicky shows up alone. She says that Sean
Speaker 1: had a work thing. The experts say they think that
Speaker 1: means they had a fight, and we're not sure if
Speaker 1: he's going to show up. And then Nicki talks about
Speaker 1: how they went on a double date with Mecca and
Speaker 1: Belgia Lee. We get a little little glimpse of that
Speaker 1: double date and apparently there was some conflict and Nicky
Speaker 1: says they're stuck on repeat. Felipe tells nick positive, but
Speaker 1: Tory is a little guarded. Cameron and Michelle arrive looking
Speaker 1: relaxed and into each other. As Paul says, Sean shows up,
Speaker 1: he says hi to the men, not to Nicky. Presumably
Speaker 1: he does eventually say hi to Nikki. Tory and Michelle
Speaker 1: bond over avoidance styles. Tory is being avoidant, whereas Michelle
Speaker 1: thinks Cameron is. Everyone's just kind of getting to know
Speaker 1: each other, and then we sit down. Tory leads them
Speaker 1: in a prayer. I thought this was interesting, like why
Speaker 1: Adam suggested Tory lead them in a prayer. And this
Speaker 1: is where I was like, are the producers because the
Speaker 1: producers know that to and Felipe had this religious conversation,
Speaker 1: like are the producers egging Adam on a little bit?
Speaker 1: Are they producing him in saying, hey, why don't you
Speaker 1: suggest that Tory? You know, like, like I wonder if
Speaker 1: they set this planted that to try and create a
Speaker 1: confict that doesn't end up existing, because Felipe doesn't seem
Speaker 1: to care, but he has said that he's an atheist
Speaker 1: to her, and so I just found it weird that
Speaker 1: of all the people to like lead a prayer before dinner,
Speaker 1: Adam asks Toy to do it. Do you know what
Speaker 1: I was a little I was like, okay, But then
Speaker 1: the expert's pouring out that Tory and Felipe are the
Speaker 1: unifiers of the group because they're you know, the sort
Speaker 1: of hosts, and they do they do that, you know,
Speaker 1: they like I was too olidated. Adam and Mersa brag
Speaker 1: about their awesome, vibing, cool situation just cruising along. Corney
Speaker 1: presses them a little bit, you know, the experts seem
Speaker 1: like they're happy, but everyone everyone kind of pushes on
Speaker 1: them like that they don't have serious compversations. I don't
Speaker 1: know if they need to. I don't know, man, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like I'm team Adam and Marissa.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you what I really really liked about
Speaker 3: this though, I liked about so One of the things
Speaker 3: we talked about was the idea of one of the
Speaker 3: things that made us so uncomfortable about in the City
Speaker 3: for the Reunion is Andy Cohen sitting there and asking
Speaker 3: these questions and drilling them and drilling them, Whereas this
Speaker 3: had the same kind of vibe of a reunion episode,
Speaker 3: but they were just talking to each other. Yeah, there
Speaker 3: weren't experts there. There weren't any well you said this
Speaker 3: to blah blah blah. It was like they just had
Speaker 3: a meal and they brought.
Speaker 2: Up all their own shit.
Speaker 3: And while it's kind of had the same vibe, it
Speaker 3: felt like a little less of an inquisition than in
Speaker 3: the City did. Yeah, So I liked that that it
Speaker 3: was just them talking and their experts are there, but
Speaker 3: they're watching quietly, they're not interjecting, they're not you know,
Speaker 3: it's just them talking around the innertey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so much like again, it's so much about
Speaker 1: self presentation, right, Like these couples get to present their
Speaker 1: couple to the rest, to the other couple, yes, and
Speaker 1: in that presentation discover things and and push back on,
Speaker 1: you know, each other. But it's it's nice because when
Speaker 1: they push back, it's from an equal place, right, Like
Speaker 1: they're all they're all undergoing the same experiment, so there's
Speaker 1: not like it's not like you're winning or losing necessarily.
Speaker 1: Maybe it'll get there, but right now, it feels like
Speaker 1: they're all kind of trying to be supportive of each
Speaker 1: other as coupling, you know, because they're all equal. They're
Speaker 1: all like thrown into this kind of crazy together, don't
Speaker 1: you think.
Speaker 3: They also some of them at least want to look
Speaker 3: like like it seemed like some of them were putting
Speaker 3: it on.
Speaker 1: Well, Adam and Marissa want to win, right, yeah, like
Speaker 1: Adam's going to win the coupling thing. But yeah, he
Speaker 1: kind of also is like because you've seen them in
Speaker 1: their dinner, like they are working well together.
Speaker 3: Agree, they're affectionate, they're fun, they're enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 3: I mean, he might be he might be douching it
Speaker 3: up a bit for the cameras, but it also kind
Speaker 3: of seems like the healthiest relationship that's.
Speaker 1: There well, and everybody's pushing it back. And then in
Speaker 1: a later confessional Nick and Courtney, Nick is saying why
Speaker 1: he was pressuring Adam because he he was hoping that
Speaker 1: maybe they would talk about having more thoughtful conversations, and
Speaker 1: then Courtney bursts out with, he might not have to
Speaker 1: be that thoughtful when Adam's the hottest of the whole group.
Speaker 2: And she's one red flag after another.
Speaker 1: That's a wild comment. And then she kind of back
Speaker 1: pedals and realizes what she says, and you know, she's like,
Speaker 1: I just dug myself a hole.
Speaker 2: Yes, passing aggressively. She's like, oh, I guess I just
Speaker 2: dug myself a hole.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Is that how you read it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally read it that way.
Speaker 3: Like I can't believe you'd be bothered by me saying
Speaker 3: somebody else is hotter than you.
Speaker 2: And it's like, right, just reverse the situation.
Speaker 3: What if I said the same, Hey, well that that
Speaker 3: woman's by far the hottest at the table, you feel
Speaker 3: like shit a little.
Speaker 1: Bit, right, And it was also in the context of
Speaker 1: he doesn't have to be thoughtful, like so yeah, he
Speaker 1: can get away with like just being less thoughtful. Because
Speaker 1: he's so hot. It goes back to what you were saying.
Speaker 1: I think she's a little like into the looks like yeah, well.
Speaker 3: But it's also she's now mentioned how she's so she's
Speaker 3: also a comparison chopper.
Speaker 1: Yeah, always Felipe and he's the man who can walk
Speaker 1: in and control the thing.
Speaker 3: Adam's the hottest one here to me, and this is
Speaker 3: I liked her. She was like my favorite one, and
Speaker 3: you know, I think she's probably a good person. But
Speaker 3: this woman is broken. I mean she's there just not
Speaker 3: ready for red Flag after it. No, she is not
Speaker 3: ready for this at all. So yeah, that was That
Speaker 3: was amazing to me how much I changed my opinion
Speaker 3: on her as I was watching it, and I just.
Speaker 2: Started to feel bad.
Speaker 3: At first, it was like, this guy just wants to
Speaker 3: be on a reality show.
Speaker 2: He's not going to care about this at all. He's
Speaker 2: going to give the minimal.
Speaker 3: And now I'm like, I feel like this guy's actually trying,
Speaker 3: and they just put her with put him with somebody
Speaker 3: who's not ready for the situation at all.
Speaker 1: Well, so she starts talking about their relationship at the
Speaker 1: table and the experts weigh in on her body language
Speaker 1: because she's completely turned away from Nick, yes, which speaks volumes.
Speaker 1: She's like, no matter what's coming out of her mouth,
Speaker 1: do you just see her body language? And then fully
Speaker 1: Bay asks Snick, how does it feel to be rid
Speaker 1: by your wife? Which is a bit harsh, but also
Speaker 1: i'd be accurate. And then Nick has this a nice
Speaker 1: little speech where he talks about how, you know, even
Speaker 1: though she's not being affectionate with him, he sees her
Speaker 1: doing these kind things and he gets glimpses of potential
Speaker 1: in her and how you know. He Courtney talks then
Speaker 1: about how she's a slow burn, which is what she's been.
Speaker 2: Saying, keep saying that.
Speaker 1: And then Sean jumps in with, like, you're a high
Speaker 1: performance athlete, you train for that. Maybe just look at
Speaker 1: this like you're training like you do the physical things
Speaker 1: that you're and just you know, which I thought was
Speaker 1: not horrible advice. It's a little intense, but it's kind
Speaker 1: of the same thing that the experts were saying, which
Speaker 1: is like just start doing it and feeling it out
Speaker 1: and then like make it happen naturally, right, And then
Speaker 1: Nick talks about how comfortable he is and confident, But
Speaker 1: then Courtney contradicts that and says, I don't know if
Speaker 1: if Nick is comfortable with who he is, and I
Speaker 1: just love how in the confessional, then he's like, that's
Speaker 1: crazy because like of all the things people think I'm cocky,
Speaker 1: I'm too confident, Like.
Speaker 3: She's just projecting, She's completely projecting all of her insecurities
Speaker 3: on somebody else.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. Or my take maybe is that she just
Speaker 1: kind of wants to get out of this, that's the
Speaker 1: other thing, And like one way to do that is
Speaker 1: to undermine him in front of everybody, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like she can just because like to sit
Speaker 1: there and talk about Adam being hot and to call
Speaker 1: him insecure or that he's not confident. It's like she's
Speaker 1: just kind of pulling the rug out from under Nick.
Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, you know, I don't know if
Speaker 1: he's doing anything wrong here, Like he's working and he's
Speaker 1: actually pretty comfortable. So I feel like maybe she just
Speaker 1: kind of wants out and she's just yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: And it's also I think this is where she has
Speaker 3: the conversation at some point. I think it's before the
Speaker 3: dinner with Caitlin. Is this the one where she's like,
Speaker 3: I hate oh, God, I hate.
Speaker 2: Those in depth conversations.
Speaker 3: Yeah and again, and I'm like, you don't want to talk,
Speaker 3: you don't want to you don't want to touch.
Speaker 2: What the hell are you doing here in here? So yeah,
Speaker 2: it doesn't doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, all right. Then Courtney spread it out to
Speaker 1: the whole group and talks about whole I'm not quite
Speaker 1: sure what she was saying about all the men and
Speaker 1: how they all need to be more confident or something,
Speaker 1: and then Marissa steps in and says like, well, there's
Speaker 1: a difference between vulnerable and confident. This is where I
Speaker 1: was just like, Marissa, you got some insight killing And
Speaker 1: Mecca loves this like this is a revelatory moment for him,
Speaker 1: which I was like, interesting that he had never really
Speaker 1: thought about this before, that he can like be super
Speaker 1: confident with his bros, but he can't be vulnerable with them,
Speaker 1: which is like, yeah, but at least he is acknowledging it,
Speaker 1: so I thought it was good for him. Mecca makes
Speaker 1: a big performance about seeing her backside talking about what
Speaker 1: she's carrying, which I thought was like him overdoing it,
Speaker 1: and like they definitely the experts called this out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and what is interesting that he feels they need to
Speaker 1: do this, because she immediately then points out like they
Speaker 1: haven't been intimate and that he's kind of not been
Speaker 1: attracted to her, which I thought was interesting. He was
Speaker 1: I don't think he was prepared to admit that, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think he was like gonna say any of that.
Speaker 1: And she's sort of like and it was funny because
Speaker 1: he's talking about being sensitive and like how open, but
Speaker 1: she like talks about how he's really like not making
Speaker 1: the moves on her. And then, as Adam points out,
Speaker 1: you friend zoned her, which I think he kind of has,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, super interesting.
Speaker 3: They seem to be very good friends that then are
Speaker 3: trying to perform for the rest of the table about
Speaker 3: how into.
Speaker 1: Each other that they are totally and now the fact
Speaker 1: that he went right to her ass basically and was
Speaker 1: like talking about how it's like, dude, just it's not happening,
Speaker 1: Like why are you overplaying this right now?
Speaker 2: Yep?
Speaker 1: And then Nicki has this moment that's an awful acide
Speaker 1: to hear where she turns to Sean and says, trying
Speaker 1: to figure out how to speak on this relationship without
Speaker 1: embarrassing you, and.
Speaker 2: It's just another cut at this guy.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: Michelle and Cameron talk about their relationship, how they're hitting
Speaker 1: it off. They point out how the experts point out
Speaker 1: how Michelle's looking at him does seem like they're doing well,
Speaker 1: and then Devin and Caitlyn present their relationship. Devin, I've
Speaker 1: just man, he articulates this stuff so well.
Speaker 3: They even say that the experts are like, when did
Speaker 3: Devin become like the voice of reason of this he's great?
Speaker 1: Well, I think they just assumed he was a meathead
Speaker 1: because he like plays rugby or whatever. But the truth,
Speaker 1: he's incredibly sensitive. He's like you know, and he's he's
Speaker 1: also like in a way that you see Sean not able.
Speaker 1: He takes it to heart, like he's actually adjusted his behavior,
Speaker 1: like he's he's saying like, I am too needy, or
Speaker 1: she thinks I'm too needy. I'm an instant gratification guy.
Speaker 1: I cannot get that I'm not gonna be that I
Speaker 1: need to work on us and not make this about me,
Speaker 1: which I just wanted to like have that on a
Speaker 1: loop for Nicki and Sean because it's like that's their
Speaker 1: problem is.
Speaker 2: That he also seems to be putting in the work.
Speaker 1: He's putting in the work, and he's saying like, it's
Speaker 1: not going to be about me winning or proving that
Speaker 1: I'm the better person. I'm just going to adjust for you.
Speaker 1: And if you think I'm needy, I'm gonna try and
Speaker 1: not be needy. Yeah, just a little bit of that
Speaker 1: for Nicky and Sean would go so far. But it's
Speaker 1: the hardest thing to do. This is the hardest thing
Speaker 1: to do in the world.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like it because in a way, it's just it's
Speaker 3: this is a very basic way of saying it, but
Speaker 3: it's relinquishing power exactly, and that's you have to It's
Speaker 3: not you're not you're not trying to one up your partner.
Speaker 2: It's you're figuring it out as you go.
Speaker 1: So yeah, uh, Felipe and Tory are doing great. He
Speaker 1: says he's committed. An in Tory tells the table about
Speaker 1: how they were intimate but then she slept on the couch.
Speaker 3: All these open to kind of like they I know,
Speaker 3: they probably have to talk about all this stuff, but that's. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're at a table of people, we had sex and
Speaker 3: then well that's the thing they all have to It's
Speaker 3: so weird, like to just have these people like Yo
Speaker 3: High five and Adam and Marissa and who are now weird?
Speaker 3: Do you think you're allowed to say like I don't
Speaker 3: want to talk like did you guys have sex?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not going to talk about it.
Speaker 3: I mean, do you think that the producers are there
Speaker 3: going like, no, you have to bring you have to
Speaker 3: talk about it.
Speaker 1: Question?
Speaker 2: You think they can just be like, no, we're not
Speaker 2: bringing it up.
Speaker 1: I bet you they could draw the boundaries.
Speaker 2: I think so too, I would hope anyway.
Speaker 1: But it is, it seems built into the show unfortunately.
Speaker 2: And then yeah, that's I guess the point.
Speaker 1: All right. Then Nicky and Sean challenging a couple of days.
Speaker 2: It's just brutal.
Speaker 1: Uh. Nicky says that Sewn is framing me as the problem. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we just it's tough. Devin is good, he jumps in.
Speaker 1: He says like, both of you think there's right, there's
Speaker 1: too much ego and damn. Like at this point, the
Speaker 1: experts point out that Sewn pulls out his phone while
Speaker 1: Devin is talking to him, and it's a real bummer
Speaker 1: because like this is exactly the advice that Sean needs. Yep, yeah,
Speaker 1: it sucks.
Speaker 3: The thing that was interesting about this though, is also
Speaker 3: the fact that when Mecca and Belgia Lee went on
Speaker 3: a double date with him, they said, I gotta be honest, Niki,
Speaker 3: we didn't see any accountability from you the entire night long.
Speaker 2: Like they put it on her.
Speaker 3: After he pulls out his phone. I was like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, this guy. And then they're wait, she's not
Speaker 3: taking any accountability.
Speaker 1: I was concerned. I was weird about by the editing
Speaker 1: because like, after this dinner, she you know, goes into
Speaker 1: him and says, like you were being shitty. Yes, but
Speaker 1: he didn't actually talk in the edit, like you didn't
Speaker 1: see him talking at all. No, he just sort of
Speaker 1: like shut down while she talked. So I'm curious, like
Speaker 1: what was anti good out because or is she just
Speaker 1: really reading.
Speaker 3: Like yes, or she's pissed that when the other couple
Speaker 3: they were with was saying you didn't take any accountability,
Speaker 3: you didn't do this, he didn't jump in and defender.
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe like no, I was having a problem too,
Speaker 3: I mean something like that, but it seemed he just
Speaker 3: shut his mouth.
Speaker 2: At least, you're right.
Speaker 3: They edited it to seem like he didn't say anything,
Speaker 3: and she really came off looking pretty terrible after that
Speaker 3: that death, I thought.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, but also, I mean, she's just
Speaker 1: not into it. Why do you want to keep arguing
Speaker 1: in circles with somebody who like is clearly like they're
Speaker 1: just not getting it, like they're not Yeah.
Speaker 2: I agree this, they just shouldn't be together.
Speaker 3: She has She got the ick the second she saw him,
Speaker 3: and it never went away.
Speaker 1: Adam says or Adam asked them if they're just gonna
Speaker 1: call it or why aren't they or just calling it,
Speaker 1: and Sean says no, he's a committed man. Mecha chimes
Speaker 1: in saying there's room and for love and growth. I
Speaker 1: don't know. All right, on the way out of the dinner,
Speaker 1: Nick and Courtney in the car and the Jetta, which
Speaker 1: I guess she doesn't think is a good enough car,
Speaker 1: didnt get it. But then she also railed into him
Speaker 1: for not opening the door, and he's like, I've opened
Speaker 1: a ton of doors for you. So this is what
Speaker 1: I mean. I feel like she just wants out and
Speaker 1: she's trying to make it like it's a hen problem
Speaker 1: when it's like, no, I don't think it is, Like
Speaker 1: he's really trying and I don't know, and then she
Speaker 1: makes it again a comment about all the guy who's
Speaker 1: being good looking and whatever, nicky and Sean. Afterwards, she
Speaker 1: calls him out for being shitty the way he presented himself.
Speaker 1: He this is where he says he promises he's not
Speaker 1: going to fight anymore, but she says fighting is their marriage,
Speaker 1: and she walks away, And I didn't know if this
Speaker 1: was it like I thought. I thought it call out.
Speaker 1: Then they made up in the kitchen and then she
Speaker 1: wants to have a literal break. He says, proximity is good,
Speaker 1: but they're not gonna They're not gonna I guess they're
Speaker 1: staying in the apartment together, but they're not gonna have conversations.
Speaker 1: And that ends this episode of narrative First Sight.
Speaker 2: Are you out?
Speaker 1: No? I'm I wish this were like a movie documentary
Speaker 1: where I kind of like could ingest like a three
Speaker 1: hour you know, because the way that each episode has
Speaker 1: to like build up to a commercial break and like
Speaker 1: it still has that reality show manipulation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the three act three acts dark.
Speaker 1: But as a study of like how people are, like
Speaker 1: this whole notion of getting married and then realizing what
Speaker 1: a relationship is is really fascinating and and I am
Speaker 1: learning a lot, and I feel like I'm confronting things that,
Speaker 1: you know, I have to think about, like, yeah, what
Speaker 1: would I be like, what would my expectations be? What
Speaker 1: do I think? You know? But in general, I do
Speaker 1: feel like it's a it's a pretty traditional show, I mean,
Speaker 1: and that's the whole point. Marriage is a traditional institution,
Speaker 1: So like, yeah, it's it's it's forcing me to think
Speaker 1: about things and be uncomfortable with with conversations like the
Speaker 1: ones Nicky and Sean are having, which is like shitty.
Speaker 1: And I've been in those arguments, you know, Like I've
Speaker 1: had those kinds of long like we're going in circles,
Speaker 1: we're all trying to be the right yeah, say there,
Speaker 1: And I hate it, hate reliving it.
Speaker 3: I know. That's how I felt within the city because
Speaker 3: I'm so used to hanging out with my all my
Speaker 3: rich friends in New York City when they're having babies
Speaker 3: and getting in the fights.
Speaker 2: Very too close to home, rider, too close to home.
Speaker 3: We're gonna do a very quick uh what an arrangement,
Speaker 3: Hey angler, what an arrangement?
Speaker 2: And we're gonna do today.
Speaker 3: Consuelo Vanderbilt, Yes, of the Vanderbilt Vanderbilts. So she married
Speaker 3: Charles Spencer Churchill, the ninth Duke of Marlborough, on November sixth,
Speaker 3: eighteen ninety five, at Say Thomas Church in New York City,
Speaker 3: and it was orchestrated all by the bride's mother, Alva Vanderbilt,
Speaker 3: and paired the American railroad heirist fortune with a British
Speaker 3: aristocratic title.
Speaker 2: The problem was he was Baroke, which was the.
Speaker 3: Only reason that he married her, and he used all
Speaker 3: the money to kind of get back into the good
Speaker 3: graces of everything in England. Consueler, she was secretly in
Speaker 3: love with and engaged to Winthrop Rutherford, but her mother,
Speaker 3: great name Winthrop Rutherford, forced her to match obviously with
Speaker 3: Vanderbilt because she wanted her to save her whole family.
Speaker 3: So she essentially said, if you go marry for love,
Speaker 3: you're gonna destroy us. You're gonna kill us. Put it
Speaker 3: all on her. The marriage was completely loveless from the
Speaker 3: start that Duke reportedly confessed on their honeymoon he only
Speaker 3: married her to save the ancestral estate. They legally separated
Speaker 3: in nineteen oh six and divorced in nineteen twenty one,
Speaker 3: and then she happily remarried to a French aviator.
Speaker 1: Jacques Balsaon, not Winthrop Je.
Speaker 3: My guess is he was bitten by a rat or
Speaker 3: something and died of the dark plague or whatever happens
Speaker 3: in eighteen ninety five in Britain.
Speaker 2: But that Consuelo.
Speaker 3: She finally found marriage after her mom pond her off
Speaker 3: on a rich guy who, on their marriage night said
Speaker 3: I only married.
Speaker 2: You for the money.
Speaker 3: I love you, honey, And that seems pretty late eighteen nineties, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: well he was I think their kid. It was either
Speaker 3: their kid or their grandkid. I think it's their kid
Speaker 3: was Winston Churchill. Oh wow, yeah, yeah, so she married
Speaker 3: the Vanderbilts, married into the Churchill family.
Speaker 1: So we're really only like two generations away from like
Speaker 1: completely arranged marriage. Yeah, still being for money regular thing.
Speaker 3: I found a phrase, I guess used in the early
Speaker 3: eighteen hundreds and all the way through the early nineteen hundreds,
Speaker 3: which is called a dollar princess. And so a dollar
Speaker 3: princess is literally somebody who's married off just for the money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the dowry ough a dollar princess. You've been listening
Speaker 1: to Pod meets Twirl, the Vows have been spoken, the
Speaker 1: experts have weighed in, and our completely offhand conversation has
Speaker 1: now become a season long commitment. We'll see you next time,
Speaker 1: trap you're smoking