Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with the Nungler Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast what is Up Quarantineers. We
Speaker 1: are back for a new episode of help I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating. We haven't lost their minds fully yet. We're
Speaker 1: definitely getting one day closer, one day at a time. Um.
Speaker 1: Jared's with me obviously as always, Tori is with us
Speaker 1: as well. Before we do any introductions or say hi
Speaker 1: or anything. Jared, we were just talking about this at
Speaker 1: the top of the episode. There is an article published
Speaker 1: by USA Today that suggests you should text all of
Speaker 1: your ex is in case you have one more thing
Speaker 1: you wanted to get off your chest, and you had
Speaker 1: some very strong feelings about it. I want to hear
Speaker 1: about your feelings. I'll be honest. I have not read
Speaker 1: the article. I was trying to google it. I couldn't
Speaker 1: find it. So, Tori, if you want to send that
Speaker 1: over to me so I can just skim it because
Speaker 1: I want to read the context of it. But the
Speaker 1: headline I freaking hate. I just don't like the idea
Speaker 1: of tech. First of all, this is not the apocalypse, people.
Speaker 1: It's a horrible time. It's a scary time. There are
Speaker 1: true heroes that are going to work every day. Every
Speaker 1: one of these things should be recognized. But the world
Speaker 1: is not coming to an end. So the idea that
Speaker 1: you you should text your ex with one more thing
Speaker 1: in case you have anything off your chest that you
Speaker 1: either wanted to tell them or you regretted, I just
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if that's the best idea, particularly if
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship, because what does that say about
Speaker 1: the relationship you're in right now if you feel so
Speaker 1: compelled to text your ex to say one last thing
Speaker 1: just in case either one of you apparently maybe get
Speaker 1: COVID nineteen and perish. That's the only thing I can
Speaker 1: think of why they wrote this article. Tori just sent
Speaker 1: it to me. Thank you, Tori much appreciated. It's a
Speaker 1: hundred things to do while due to a pandemic. So
Speaker 1: they list out a hundred things that you could do,
Speaker 1: um and one of them being text your X. Number
Speaker 1: one is completed puzzle. So a good job, Dean and Tory.
Speaker 1: I didn't piece together. This just goes to show you
Speaker 1: how slowly my mind is working lately. I didn't piece
Speaker 1: together that the reason for texting your exes was because
Speaker 1: of this apocalyptic quote unquote time that we're in, and
Speaker 1: it's like, if there's a media coming to the earth,
Speaker 1: then you had to get everything off your chest, then
Speaker 1: you should like do these things. That's kind of that's
Speaker 1: what you're alluding to, and that makes sense. I think
Speaker 1: that's why they're like saying you should text X and
Speaker 1: get them off you get the things off your chest
Speaker 1: because some of them might die. You might die. That's
Speaker 1: your I mean, yeah, I agree with you. That's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: But what if there's something you gotta get off your chest, Jared,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play devil's advocate. What if what if there's
Speaker 1: just been something that's been eaten away at you about
Speaker 1: your relationship with Kayla that you never had the chance
Speaker 1: to say. And sorry, I always use Kala because it's
Speaker 1: the only X I know of yours that you that's
Speaker 1: very you can use Kayla. No, I've because honestly, time
Speaker 1: has passed so much time has passed. I've moved on,
Speaker 1: you know, I she has moved on. We've all moved on.
Speaker 1: Time heals all wounds. I believe that and I've experienced it.
Speaker 1: So why even open up that door just to say
Speaker 1: one more thing that's on my chest. The only thing
Speaker 1: I can think of for a reason as to why
Speaker 1: somebody should reach out to an x ray now is
Speaker 1: if you're single, you still have feelings for them, you
Speaker 1: regretted the way it ended, and you want to explore
Speaker 1: that relationship again. In this pandemic is putting everything in
Speaker 1: perspective for you, which is why you feel so compelled
Speaker 1: to reach back out. That's the only thing I can
Speaker 1: think of. But this article, it says text your first
Speaker 1: of all, it says text all of your ex is
Speaker 1: bad idea, bad idea right there, the first four words
Speaker 1: bad idea. I remember when I was a kid, uh,
Speaker 1: and like, growing up in Colorado, we had a lot
Speaker 1: of like thunderstorms and lightning storms and uh you frequently
Speaker 1: like the power out, power went out, uh, like multiple
Speaker 1: times a year. This would happen, like big, big lightning
Speaker 1: storms up in the mountains, and I remember every time
Speaker 1: one of them, or like maybe one hadn't happened for
Speaker 1: a while. I always think to myself, like, oh man,
Speaker 1: I really hope we get a lightning storm that knocks
Speaker 1: out the powder power so I can text the girl
Speaker 1: that I like, or the girl that I'm interested in,
Speaker 1: or like you know, just just like to have a
Speaker 1: recent to text the person I have a crush on. Essentially,
Speaker 1: this is kind of like a different way to do that.
Speaker 1: But I agree with you. I think the only way
Speaker 1: that this headline applies to anyone is if they're not
Speaker 1: in a relationship. Like, if you're not in a relationship, sure,
Speaker 1: text jex is the things that you want to get
Speaker 1: off your chest. But like if you're dating someone or
Speaker 1: married to someone, then there's absolutely no point to it.
Speaker 1: And this is kind of just a selfish, self indulged
Speaker 1: move anyway, Like who are you? Who are you to
Speaker 1: say that you your thoughts are so valued they just
Speaker 1: need to be heard by a person that you either
Speaker 1: broke up with or broke up with you however long ago.
Speaker 1: You know. I feel like because like for me personally,
Speaker 1: the only thing I can relate with this sentence, which
Speaker 1: has text all your ex is bad idea. Just in
Speaker 1: case you have one more thing you wanted to get
Speaker 1: off your chest, it's either one because you're still piste
Speaker 1: off and there's like that one thing that you've always
Speaker 1: wanted to say to him but you haven't, and now
Speaker 1: is the time is here because we're in a pandemic. Apparently,
Speaker 1: at least USA today believes that we should be reaching
Speaker 1: out to our exes to either say that one thing
Speaker 1: that we always wanted to say to them because we're
Speaker 1: so mad but we never had the opportunity to. Or conversely,
Speaker 1: you want to reach back out because you're still not
Speaker 1: which again, if you're single, if they're single, you know,
Speaker 1: or even if they're in a relationship like a new
Speaker 1: relationship and you feel like it's not over between you two,
Speaker 1: sure of course reach back out for me. I'm looking
Speaker 1: at the article right now, and it's just a list,
Speaker 1: a list of a hundred things that you should do
Speaker 1: during the pandemic, the quarantine. And this isn't like number
Speaker 1: ninety four. It is at number fifty three. It isn't numbers,
Speaker 1: It isn't number fourteen. It's number four on the list.
Speaker 1: It's the fourth thing that they listed is to text
Speaker 1: all your exes, just in case you have one more
Speaker 1: thing you wanted to get off to your chest. Right
Speaker 1: after learning an instrument, starting a journal, and doing a puzzle,
Speaker 1: this is the fourth thing that they So once you
Speaker 1: do all those things, start texting your excess. Yes, it
Speaker 1: seems a bit high on the list. Can I chime
Speaker 1: in for a minute? Of course we need the female
Speaker 1: perspective well, because I feel like you guys are looking
Speaker 1: at this all wrong, like you wouldn't be with your
Speaker 1: significant other if you didn't date the people you dated
Speaker 1: in the past. Of course, so that doesn't mean you
Speaker 1: should revisit it, but in some way, let's say the
Speaker 1: world was ending, hypothetically, wouldn't you want to reach out
Speaker 1: to that person and just kind of say, and let's
Speaker 1: say that there was no other option besides the fact
Speaker 1: you were reaching out to your exes, what is wouldn't
Speaker 1: you kind of look back and say, Hey, thanks for
Speaker 1: teaching me how to be a better man, Thanks for
Speaker 1: teaching me to to have more manners, Thanks for teaching
Speaker 1: me on how to live life a little bit more fun.
Speaker 1: Thanks for obviously it wasn't a healthy relationship, but here's
Speaker 1: really what I learned from it. And then that's how
Speaker 1: you were led to who you were with now. So
Speaker 1: I don't think it would be a negative thing. It's like, hey,
Speaker 1: thanks for being a stepping stone on my path to
Speaker 1: where I am now. So are your single? By the way,
Speaker 1: I'm in a really good relationship now. I just want
Speaker 1: to say thank you for being one of the bridges
Speaker 1: that allowed me to get here. I think you guys
Speaker 1: could all look at one X, and I think you
Speaker 1: guys should speak up maybe on who would be or
Speaker 1: something you learned from one of your past relationships that
Speaker 1: helped you develop better dating skills, Like you have to
Speaker 1: recognize some X, and I think you guys should step
Speaker 1: up and say who that X was and what you
Speaker 1: learned from it. Two things. One, this has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with recognizing an X and how important they were
Speaker 1: into my like for me personally in my life, all
Speaker 1: my exes are very important to me. Uh. And then
Speaker 1: you know everybody has that one X where it was
Speaker 1: the most impactful relationship you've had before the relationship you
Speaker 1: have right now. And then number two, I mean, unlessen,
Speaker 1: you know, an asteroid hits us right now, the world
Speaker 1: will not end because of COVID nineteen. The world will
Speaker 1: go on, right I mean, there's already talked about possibly
Speaker 1: reopening the economy and may Jared, don't beat around the bush.
Speaker 1: I said, hypothetically the world is going to end. You
Speaker 1: have to reach out to one of your exes and
Speaker 1: say thank you for something. What is it? Going to
Speaker 1: be what you what, I'm going to thank them for
Speaker 1: what I'd have to think about that. I mean, I
Speaker 1: know who I would text, who I would call? Um,
Speaker 1: who is it? I mean, well, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: put their name on blast. I mean because like just
Speaker 1: because I signed up to be on a public podcast
Speaker 1: doesn't mean they did. Um. But I know who I
Speaker 1: would text, and I would of course. You know, this
Speaker 1: is all sentiments that I've already said, uh, in some
Speaker 1: degree or another, um to this particular person about how
Speaker 1: much they meant to me, and still you know, do
Speaker 1: to this day in a certain aspect, just because you know,
Speaker 1: you have such intimate moments with a certain person and
Speaker 1: you go through such you know, you have these private,
Speaker 1: private moments with one another that you know just very impactful.
Speaker 1: But like, all right, I'll speak upon this during this
Speaker 1: this this pandemic. You know, I've thought about this person's
Speaker 1: family and her specifically as well. Of course I would
Speaker 1: love to reach out and say, hey, I hope you're
Speaker 1: doing well. I hope everybody's doing well. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: it's a scary time. I hope you know whatever, right
Speaker 1: say your piece, But it just feels so selfish at me,
Speaker 1: Why would I Why would I immerse myself back into
Speaker 1: their life? You know, that's unfair to them. They're not
Speaker 1: asking like we're I'm I'm the x you know, especially
Speaker 1: if she's in a relationship. How is that? How is
Speaker 1: that going to make her boyfriend, husband, fiancee? You? You know,
Speaker 1: how's that going to make Ashley? For you? Me saying hey, listen,
Speaker 1: like I want to, I want to reach out to
Speaker 1: an x U totally potonically and just to make sure
Speaker 1: that they're okay and let them know how much they
Speaker 1: meant to me, and I hope they're fine, and I
Speaker 1: hope they're doing well. You know, it's not just me
Speaker 1: that I have to h think about in this moment.
Speaker 1: I don't know that's my two sense anybody else. I
Speaker 1: feel like you didn't really answer to question. What's what's
Speaker 1: your question? You want me to say? I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say their name. I don't need you to say a
Speaker 1: name or whatever. All I want to know is what
Speaker 1: is one thing you learn and have appreciated from an
Speaker 1: x Something you developed a skill. There's got to be
Speaker 1: some kind of positive, even if maybe it was a
Speaker 1: little bit of a negative. You learned something from an X.
Speaker 1: But listen, we understand your married We understand all of that.
Speaker 1: Like you have to explain that it's just what is
Speaker 1: What is something you learned from your X and Dean
Speaker 1: will go now. And I think we're talking about two
Speaker 1: different things though, because I am talking more about the
Speaker 1: action of reaching out, where you're just asking me what
Speaker 1: would you say? All right, so hypothetically what would I say?
Speaker 1: I would what I'm very thankful for And there's many
Speaker 1: things that I'm grateful for from my past relationships because
Speaker 1: they taught me so much and in a lot of
Speaker 1: ways they were too good for me, especially at that
Speaker 1: time in my life. Um, but what I would say
Speaker 1: would probably be that I'm very thankful and grateful that
Speaker 1: I learned that just because something's wrong in a relationship
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that the relationship has to end. And I
Speaker 1: think I've learned from different relationships that it's not always
Speaker 1: going to be perfect, and there will be times where
Speaker 1: you doubt a relationship, but that doesn't necessary really mean
Speaker 1: that this isn't the person for you. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: It's not always going to be perfect, and I think
Speaker 1: that's what I learned from past relationships and just because
Speaker 1: something isn't perfect doesn't mean it has to end. Do
Speaker 1: you believe that you may have ended past relationships too
Speaker 1: soon because you defined it if it's perfectly working or not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I remember one x I I I broke
Speaker 1: up with her and we did it for many, many years,
Speaker 1: and and I definitely ended it way too soon, just
Speaker 1: because again I was in my early twenties and we
Speaker 1: were kind of having trouble the problems, and I thought
Speaker 1: to myself, well, you know, if this is wrong about
Speaker 1: the relationship, then this is obviously not the person for me.
Speaker 1: And then breaking up with her and regretting that decision
Speaker 1: made me realize it's every relationship is going to have
Speaker 1: its flaws. There's nobody who's perfect. Uh. And I would
Speaker 1: also argue there's nobody that's probably perfect for you, because
Speaker 1: then you're putting way too much expectations on the relationship
Speaker 1: and pressure because if one thing goes wrong, then they're
Speaker 1: not perfect for me. So I'm onto the next. Um.
Speaker 1: And so that's what Uh, that's what I learned. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say, you know, I definitely broke up the
Speaker 1: relationship to early. Obviously it all worked out because I
Speaker 1: met my wife and the love of my life and um,
Speaker 1: but at the time, yeah, I should have I should
Speaker 1: have fought harder for the relation if it's something that
Speaker 1: you have to work through at some point in your life,
Speaker 1: because I used to think the same thing where I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, if you meet the right person for you,
Speaker 1: everything kind of blends together harmoniously and there's no issues ever,
Speaker 1: and everything is perfect all the time, and you guys
Speaker 1: are so in sync with each other that there's never
Speaker 1: gonna be any disagreements or arguments. But eventually, I think
Speaker 1: you just realize that that's not necessarily true. Um, at
Speaker 1: least in my case. I just like the longer I
Speaker 1: live life, the more I realized that there isn't that like, uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Nirvana for relationships or whatever that you
Speaker 1: like fantasize about when you're in middle school. At least
Speaker 1: for me, that was that's kind of how it works me.
Speaker 1: But for to answer Tory's question, Um, the funny, I
Speaker 1: was trying to think about it while Jared was talking.
Speaker 1: But I don't think that I ever really. I can't
Speaker 1: say that I never learned anything in relationships, obviously, but
Speaker 1: I think the most important thing that I learned in
Speaker 1: my relationship as an adult is more is not what
Speaker 1: I like, but more so what I dislike in relationships.
Speaker 1: And now the only thing that's changed is like, I've
Speaker 1: always been the biggest issue in the relationships, in all
Speaker 1: of my relationships as an adult, and so now that
Speaker 1: I've just gotten older, I'm just like trying. I'm improving
Speaker 1: myself and that in turn improves the relationship. And I
Speaker 1: know that really make a lot of sense. But then
Speaker 1: to bring it back further, to answer the other question
Speaker 1: with my ex uh, there is an X that I
Speaker 1: have that I did it in college who I admire
Speaker 1: a lot, who is a nurse, and so maybe I
Speaker 1: should reach out to her, I guess now that I
Speaker 1: think about it, and just thank her for her her
Speaker 1: jumping into AC as a nurse. Maybe I don't know
Speaker 1: if I should or not. I probably won't, but you know,
Speaker 1: now that I'm speaking out loud, it probably in the
Speaker 1: best idea. But yeah, I know, well, whoever that is,
Speaker 1: if she's listening to the podcast, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for being an essential worker right now. Yeah, so, Dean,
Speaker 1: you posted on Instagram the other day of you two
Speaker 1: years difference on your driver's license Yeah, how funny is that?
Speaker 1: And that was a pretty big difference in those two years.
Speaker 1: Like I thought I was gonna be looking at that
Speaker 1: and have that be two thousand and eight, but that
Speaker 1: was only two eighteen. That's kind of crazy how much
Speaker 1: it's changed over two years. Did any girl have an
Speaker 1: influence on you? Where did that all kind of change
Speaker 1: come from? I think that my whole life, I had
Speaker 1: like this certain image of myself. And when I was
Speaker 1: like twenty six or five, I looked at myself and
Speaker 1: I was like this polished, bratty looking guy that partied
Speaker 1: a lot in Los Angeles. And the image that I
Speaker 1: had for myself didn't really reflect the image that other
Speaker 1: people had for me too, because I was partying all
Speaker 1: the time, but I didn't really ever consider myself a
Speaker 1: party or you know what I mean. And then eventually,
Speaker 1: I think once I decided to move into the van
Speaker 1: full time, this was what like early twenty nineteen, maybe
Speaker 1: lateen Uh, I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna start
Speaker 1: to become the person that I've always thought of myself as,
Speaker 1: which is like this traveling, adventure seeking, uh dirt bag
Speaker 1: of sorts. And so that's kind of why I just
Speaker 1: started growing up, like they I haven't cut my hair
Speaker 1: since probably September of um, so like maybe even six
Speaker 1: months after that driver's license picture was taken. And then yeah,
Speaker 1: I just slowly like I know, I like look way
Speaker 1: worse now, but that's kind of part of the appeal,
Speaker 1: Like I want I'm like purposefully making myself look worse,
Speaker 1: if that makes any sense. Well, what what led to
Speaker 1: the change? Why did you want to change? Uh? Well,
Speaker 1: I like wasn't happy with myself obviously, like I was
Speaker 1: partying too much. I wasn't like fulfilling. I wasn't like
Speaker 1: getting fulfillment out of anything I was doing. You know,
Speaker 1: like going to the bars isn't like make you grow
Speaker 1: as a person at all. Um. And I feel like,
Speaker 1: especially with that stuff, like you know, I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I guess I just look like everyone else, like the
Speaker 1: do she looking rat boy with the with you know,
Speaker 1: I got news for you, you don't look like anybody
Speaker 1: well at the time with the haircut and when I
Speaker 1: was like the partying and all that kind of stuff,
Speaker 1: and so I was like, I don't know, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna take an action like change now, and um, you know,
Speaker 1: be less Uh, less of the person that I was
Speaker 1: like slowly morphing into and be more proud of who
Speaker 1: I was. And this is my way of doing it.
Speaker 1: It's like I getta you know, obviously, travel around and
Speaker 1: do the things that most people don't get to do.
Speaker 1: And with that comes like like the grungier, nomadic vagrant
Speaker 1: look of growing your hair out and throwing out your
Speaker 1: facial hair and all that kind of stuff. I'm just
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm adopting the image as much as
Speaker 1: I do you miss what do you miss that life?
Speaker 1: Do you the life you had two or three years
Speaker 1: ago at all? Oh? My god, absolutely not. I used
Speaker 1: to have like major, major anxiety too. I think even
Speaker 1: as little as a year ago, maybe like a year
Speaker 1: and a half ago, I was like super anxious all
Speaker 1: the time. I like wake up and like have heart palpitations.
Speaker 1: And I think the reason for that was just like
Speaker 1: I was like waking up and doing the same thing
Speaker 1: every single day, which was you know, it was either
Speaker 1: parting with friends or like playing video games, and there
Speaker 1: just wasn't much growth coming from it. Uh. And this,
Speaker 1: obviously Quarantine has kind of slipped that step down a
Speaker 1: little bit. But I don't miss it whatsoever, which is great,
Speaker 1: Like it's nice to know, like I, you know, I
Speaker 1: did everything that I wanted to do as like a
Speaker 1: mid twenties party yer, and I got that all out
Speaker 1: of my system and I never need to go back
Speaker 1: and revisit that because I did it enough for this lifetime, uh,
Speaker 1: which I think is a good thing. I can kind
Speaker 1: of like close the chapter on that one and continue
Speaker 1: on this next one, whatever that might be. Do you
Speaker 1: think that's also why you are kind of more I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't want to put pressure on it, but like
Speaker 1: in more of a serious relationship with Kalin, because you
Speaker 1: didn't have to put or feel any different or feel
Speaker 1: kind of like you're living your life for someone else.
Speaker 1: It was just strictly you, and she's like that's who
Speaker 1: she fell in love with. Um. I mean, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: been a fully transparent honesty thing. I feel like in
Speaker 1: all my other relationships before, I would like hide certain
Speaker 1: aspects of myself because I didn't really know exactly who
Speaker 1: were what I was, and I still obviously don't, but
Speaker 1: I'm like getting more and more comfortable with who I am,
Speaker 1: so that allows me to be more like confident and transparent,
Speaker 1: I guess, and I think that in turn this leads
Speaker 1: to like a deeper connection with your significant other in
Speaker 1: you know, Calin and then in this case, because it's
Speaker 1: just like we are who we are, and it's like
Speaker 1: we're not going to tell each other to do things
Speaker 1: that that aren't who you are, and so it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're just kind of getting closer and closer
Speaker 1: with this person. Fully, I don't know, I don't know
Speaker 1: how to explain it, but that's yeah, that's that's where
Speaker 1: we're at. UM. But Jered, what about you? Do you
Speaker 1: ever miss like single Jared partying life. Uh? You know,
Speaker 1: I was never a big partier in general, so I
Speaker 1: would say I don't miss it at all. I love Ashley.
Speaker 1: I love being with Ashley. Um, it's really nice and
Speaker 1: being you can attest to this now having a partner,
Speaker 1: you know, someone that you can really rely on, almost
Speaker 1: like a teammate. Um. But the only thing I guess
Speaker 1: I miss about being single is being able to just
Speaker 1: do my own thing, because every decision I make now
Speaker 1: isn't just a decision about myself, it's about it Ashley
Speaker 1: as well. And so I guess there are times where
Speaker 1: I do miss being able to um. I guess more specifically,
Speaker 1: it's about being home. I think a lot of times
Speaker 1: I missed just being home a lot, And I obviously
Speaker 1: associate being home sometimes with being single, because I was,
Speaker 1: you know, living there for twenty years of my life,
Speaker 1: and then obviously I moved to l A and then
Speaker 1: that's when I started dating Ashley. So I kind of
Speaker 1: I don't know how to articulate it at best as possible,
Speaker 1: but I guess sometimes I miss just being able to,
Speaker 1: like wake up in Rhode Island and have that very
Speaker 1: low key life. But I wouldn't obviously change it for
Speaker 1: the world because I'm happily married, and I wouldn't I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to be married to anybody else. And so
Speaker 1: I don't know if I answered your question adequally or
Speaker 1: adequally or not, but that's the best I got for you.
Speaker 1: I'll take it. I mean, anytime I get you to talk,
Speaker 1: I'm happy about it. Stop. I love hearing your voice. Teane.
Speaker 1: You know it's so funny too. You said that you
Speaker 1: look worse now, but I gotta be honest, ever since
Speaker 1: you grew your here, you grew your hair, I feel
Speaker 1: like your best look was in paradise with the long hair.
Speaker 1: When you shaved a mustache at at my wedding and
Speaker 1: when you went back for Kalin, I feel like that's
Speaker 1: the best you've ever looked. I agree. I think it's
Speaker 1: got a little too long, and I've I've contemplated cutting
Speaker 1: it again, but I'm I'm probably gonna grow it out
Speaker 1: for like another six to twelve months. Your hair is
Speaker 1: really long because I've been watching your TikTok videos, and
Speaker 1: your TikTok pretty much is just you archery and Kalin.
Speaker 1: Is that? Is that? What really was the motivation for
Speaker 1: you creating TikTok? You're like, how can I just annoy
Speaker 1: my girlfriend? Further, I'm not gonna dance. It's like, I'm
Speaker 1: not creative enough to like, I don't know. I was
Speaker 1: just like, what can I do? I couldn't play silly,
Speaker 1: harmless pranks on my girlfriend and your tiktoks are super creative?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Well? Thanks, I appreciate it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're out there listening, follow me on TikTok. Demian
Speaker 1: your score babies, Um, I think a big part of
Speaker 1: that too. Sorry, before we go into break, because we
Speaker 1: do have a great guest coming on next Yeah, the
Speaker 1: bachelor himself, so to speak, right, But before we do that,
Speaker 1: I just want to finish by saying, Uh, there's also
Speaker 1: a point with the image shift where I was like,
Speaker 1: I think my shitty actions sometimes got excused because, uh,
Speaker 1: people like thought that I was cute or something like that.
Speaker 1: You know, so like, oh, it's fine, like he's he's handsome,
Speaker 1: so you can get away with the shitty behavior. And
Speaker 1: so by becoming a scumbag and like a homeless looking man,
Speaker 1: people can't really to use that excuse. So I'm holding
Speaker 1: myself more accountable, you know what I mean. One more
Speaker 1: question before we go to break. You talked about holding
Speaker 1: yourself accountable and a part of your growth as a
Speaker 1: human being and your growth with hair, uh, has has
Speaker 1: come that self realization that you have to hold yourself
Speaker 1: more accountable. Is that why you wear the wedding ring,
Speaker 1: because it's more of you showing Kalin that you are
Speaker 1: putting effort in to commit to this relationship. That's a
Speaker 1: great question, Jared. I'm not I can't really talk much
Speaker 1: on the ring though. So we're gonna take one quick break, uh,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna come back and we're gonna have Jimmy
Speaker 1: Parento from a couple of dudes who started their own
Speaker 1: SF based quarantine dating show. So everyone stayed put, We're
Speaker 1: gonna jump on the phone with them, all right, welcome
Speaker 1: back to help I suck at dating quarantine style. And
Speaker 1: speaking of quarantine, we have a quarantined bachelor who's a
Speaker 1: special guest on the podcast right now. Uh, Jimmy, I'm sorry, Parento. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's fine. No, I want to know. I'm so
Speaker 1: bad at pronouncing names. Man, I cannot even pronounce my
Speaker 1: own name. So yes, parent Parents, you nailed it. I think,
Speaker 1: okay perfectly, Jimmy, thanks for joining us on the podcast. Man,
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Dude, you're the quarantine Bachelor, so I am.
Speaker 1: I am not taking the quarantine Bapslo. My fiance might
Speaker 1: get upset, but yeah, I'm behind the page with another guy.
Speaker 1: Well you're you're like Chris Harrison. I'm yeah charming. Um so, yeah,
Speaker 1: you came up with it with your buddy Tyler. So
Speaker 1: tell everybody what exactly the quarantine Bachelor is and why
Speaker 1: you started doing it. Yeah. So Tyler and I are
Speaker 1: co workers. Um at yelp, So we both live out
Speaker 1: here in San Francisco. Um, And I met Tyler when
Speaker 1: he started in January, and he had done a couple
Speaker 1: of live dating shows. He's done some stand up comedy himself. Um.
Speaker 1: He kind of pitched me on the idea, And since
Speaker 1: moving with my fiance, I've been watching a lot of
Speaker 1: live dating TV. UM, so I kind of love the
Speaker 1: idea of when he fished me on it, because we're
Speaker 1: gonna do it live in San Francisco and got a
Speaker 1: venue and actually do this whole concept where people come
Speaker 1: on and we have them pitched their friends and go
Speaker 1: on dates in front of an audience. Um. But then
Speaker 1: obviously Shelter in Place happened here in San Francisco, and
Speaker 1: Tyler and I are like, well, we gotta we gotta wait,
Speaker 1: even though we have a venue and everything. I aroned
Speaker 1: now and so one day I called him up and like, hey,
Speaker 1: let's just do it on Instagram and so, um, we
Speaker 1: did it on the Graham And that's where we're at now.
Speaker 1: And instead of handing out roses, you guys hand out
Speaker 1: toilet paper, which is uh far more of a necessity
Speaker 1: right now exactly. You can you can actually get some
Speaker 1: good use out of these roles. So Tyler, so I'm
Speaker 1: two Jimmy, So Tyler's the Bachelors. So you guys, you
Speaker 1: said you watch a lot of live dating shows because
Speaker 1: you're engaged in your fiance is a fan. So do
Speaker 1: you watch the Bachelor? My fiance is a huge fan
Speaker 1: of YouTube. To be honest with you, like, I'm Bernie
Speaker 1: Brownie points being on the call, I have watched it,
Speaker 1: um and she she loves the show. I've watched Bachelor Paradise,
Speaker 1: I've watched Bachelor Bachelorette. UM. I don't know, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think she loves all my opinions on like
Speaker 1: when we're watching the show and I have some opinions,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. I feel like, yeah, I do
Speaker 1: watch the shows. She makes you suffer through it. She
Speaker 1: I like some of it. Like last season it was
Speaker 1: pretty interesting to me. I know a lot of people
Speaker 1: have hated on it, but I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: I kind of got into it. I don't know. So
Speaker 1: that Peter for the Quarantine Bachelor, obviously, it's just you
Speaker 1: and your buddy and your fiance watching the show a
Speaker 1: little bit, uh pretty much, and at a couple of
Speaker 1: live dating shows that Tyler has done before, so we
Speaker 1: wanted to do a live dating show. Um was the
Speaker 1: original concept. So that was that was where this all started.
Speaker 1: We just did the Livening show but on Instagram and
Speaker 1: kind of put a little more satire in it than
Speaker 1: we would have if we did it live, so the contestants,
Speaker 1: so it was pretty interesting. Um when we first started,
Speaker 1: like we created it, we didn't think that many people
Speaker 1: would follow or watch. We created day one, one of
Speaker 1: our friends of friends shared another story and we got
Speaker 1: an applicant from some girl in Canada and neither of
Speaker 1: us knew them, and we're like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: person like an actual applicant. And that was like the
Speaker 1: first time we thought this show was like gonna be
Speaker 1: a real thing. And then from there it's starting to
Speaker 1: take off. A few people were sharing it, a couple
Speaker 1: of stories started to happen, and and uh, my old
Speaker 1: manager reached out to me and wanted to be the bachelor,
Speaker 1: and so I was like why not? And so I
Speaker 1: put him on as the bachelor, and a bunch of
Speaker 1: other people applied and I started They started going off
Speaker 1: from there. So what happens at the end is Tyler
Speaker 1: propose over zoom to one of these girls while handing
Speaker 1: our toilet paper. Yeah, so Chyler technically isn't the Bachelor
Speaker 1: or hasn't been yet. So we've been doing like every week,
Speaker 1: we've been doing a season. Um. And so the first
Speaker 1: season was my old manager, and then this last season
Speaker 1: was a girl that we've met, um, just from Reinthrough applications.
Speaker 1: But at the end of it, the goal is to
Speaker 1: get the bachelor bachelorette to ask will you go on
Speaker 1: a date with me? In Quarantine's over, and so we're
Speaker 1: supposed to follow up with that. We may have a
Speaker 1: reunion in San Francisco when we actually do our live
Speaker 1: dating show. Um, that's kind of the idea. And so,
Speaker 1: how many successful couples? How many successful dates have you
Speaker 1: guys made so far? We've got a lot of zoom dates?
Speaker 1: How have you call them dates? Meetings? But we've got
Speaker 1: a lot of zoom dates. We can call them dates here.
Speaker 1: If you're going on the Quarantine Bachelor, you're dating. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we've had we've had I think we said, I
Speaker 1: don't know, like ten or so dates, but only we've
Speaker 1: only had two seasons so far. So we set up
Speaker 1: two official matches. I love that you're doing this. This
Speaker 1: is hilarious. Yeah, I mean a lot of people have
Speaker 1: given us a lot different I think there's some positives,
Speaker 1: some negative feedback as as anything that it's been enjoyable.
Speaker 1: As long as you guys are having fun. I mean,
Speaker 1: who can really give you crap for that? I mean,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's all for fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think in the kind of m o
Speaker 1: the page, we wanted to do something to kind of
Speaker 1: entertain people. And then like as we started growing, realize
Speaker 1: a couple dating apps and one not wanting to reachallenge
Speaker 1: protectually partner and we just told that man. And now
Speaker 1: it's been a couple of days on our page that
Speaker 1: I mean, this is just for fun and any money
Speaker 1: we make, we're just donating it. So like I think
Speaker 1: the whole demo is just give back as well. Dude,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Do you know where you're donating it too? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we have we have a couple of ideas, like you
Speaker 1: don't have anything completely ironed out. Teller and I have
Speaker 1: to be a bit more research because we want to
Speaker 1: do it in the best way possible. But um, we
Speaker 1: still haven't hired that up. We haven't accepted depending yet.
Speaker 1: Anyone that's offered us money, we said, hey, please just
Speaker 1: don't donate individually to what you find best. But what
Speaker 1: are you guys gonna do once the quarantine is over?
Speaker 1: Is it still gonna be I mean, I guess you're
Speaker 1: gonna continue this on, but is it still gonna be
Speaker 1: toilet paper in the end? What are you guys gonna
Speaker 1: adapt to? You know, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a scarce anyone borantems over right now?
Speaker 1: Toilet papers. So that's what we're sticking with. But we're
Speaker 1: gonna do a live beating show hopefully, and I don't
Speaker 1: know where will go to be honest with you, the
Speaker 1: next pandemic. Yeah yeah, Um, So what is some of
Speaker 1: the age group of of the contestants? Like, my question
Speaker 1: is with the contestants, what is some of the ages
Speaker 1: that you've casted on the show? And then too, when
Speaker 1: people are being nominated or reaching out saying they want
Speaker 1: to be on the Quarantine Bachelor, are they saying that
Speaker 1: they're like they really want to meet someone or are
Speaker 1: they just kind of doing it for fun? I think
Speaker 1: there's a mix. Um, I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: do actually want to meet someone, Like I think when
Speaker 1: we first started, people thought it was a little more satirical.
Speaker 1: And I think we're getting some interesting applications and interesting
Speaker 1: comments about as going on, and like we've actually put
Speaker 1: real content. People are seeing that. I think people are
Speaker 1: putting in more serious applications. Um. As far as like
Speaker 1: a demographic breakdown, I think our youngest we don't accept
Speaker 1: anything below eighteen, So eighteens our youngest applicant, and our
Speaker 1: oldest is like mid forties, I think, so somewhere between
Speaker 1: eighteen and fourty. I think like most of them probably
Speaker 1: sat around the twenties. We have to maybe early thirties.
Speaker 1: I think. So. All right, I mean I got a
Speaker 1: question for you. Oh yeah, it was a two part,
Speaker 1: wasn't it deared? No? No, no, no no, no go he
Speaker 1: answered it. Oh, I was just gonna say, so you're
Speaker 1: your fiance, obviously you you don't stuck at dating. But
Speaker 1: you see a lot of single people roll through Quarantine Bachelor,
Speaker 1: So what's your advice? But what have you learned uh
Speaker 1: as to why maybe people are single, what they're looking for,
Speaker 1: and what kind of advice would you have for our
Speaker 1: listeners that are struggling in the same boat right now
Speaker 1: because a lot of people are single and quarantine. That's
Speaker 1: really interesting. See, Like, I don't know if I just
Speaker 1: got lucky, like I thought my fiance was kind of
Speaker 1: legally blonde when she first met me. But I think that, uh,
Speaker 1: I think being open in a time like this is
Speaker 1: more important than that, right. I just think that I
Speaker 1: don't know, you're not meeting people in person, there's not
Speaker 1: that Like, I don't know, you meet them in a
Speaker 1: dim lit bar and you've got some beer goggles, and
Speaker 1: I think there's like more. I don't know. You gotta
Speaker 1: rely heavily on your personality and kind of beat yourself
Speaker 1: to like make dating work. Right now, this is my
Speaker 1: take on I'm not qualified to give an opinion on this,
Speaker 1: but that's just my hot take. Hey man, anyone's qualified
Speaker 1: to give you dating advice from what I from what
Speaker 1: I've experienced at least, and that was very insightful. I
Speaker 1: like that answer. Dude, you are kind of like Chris Harrison.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe Chris Harris is like mee um, So everybody
Speaker 1: can go watch this on your Instagram, which I believe
Speaker 1: is Quarantine Bachelor. Correct. Yeah, yeah, we are in the
Speaker 1: process of changing that, but that is uh the current
Speaker 1: situation yet. And for the record, it's quarantined Bachelor, not
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Quarantine. I was just on Bachelor in Quarantine
Speaker 1: and it took me a minute to realize that was
Speaker 1: not the right one. So it's Bachelor. Yeah. The background
Speaker 1: is like a pig is purplish figure that Tyler made
Speaker 1: in power point. So it's cute, and it has a
Speaker 1: mask on this figure with a heart. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: You described a better thing. I try. Um, So, so
Speaker 1: how many more dates do you have coming up? So?
Speaker 1: He just finished our second season, like filming it. Um,
Speaker 1: we're about to put out the final roll ceremony in
Speaker 1: the final dates, and we're about to start our very
Speaker 1: next season, which is going to be male looking for
Speaker 1: Male So our first gay season. Oh yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: plan I'm doing, because are already ahead of The Bachelor
Speaker 1: in this department. Damn. I mean, I think there's there's
Speaker 1: some concerns, Like, so, I've had some friends reach out
Speaker 1: to me since we're going to do the season. I
Speaker 1: mean when we put that yesterday and we actually lost
Speaker 1: like a hundred followers immediately. Interesting. Um, but I mean
Speaker 1: I think yeah, I mean that that's a that's a goal.
Speaker 1: That's the what we were going for those like we
Speaker 1: want people who like really want like like our content,
Speaker 1: like us and like what we're doing, what we're doing
Speaker 1: for us. It's fine to people and follow. We're not
Speaker 1: have no hard feelings, but I think that, UM, we've
Speaker 1: reached out to people. A couple of people they had
Speaker 1: some concerns about UM. So we create a group chat
Speaker 1: with all the contestants and give them instructions that here's
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen, and we have a meat and greet,
Speaker 1: and a few people have told us that they have
Speaker 1: concerns with the contestants potentially going after one another instead
Speaker 1: of the Bachelor, UM, and like starting to court one
Speaker 1: another when uh starting to court were another rather than
Speaker 1: waiting for the Bachelor to have andiviantual days. That so
Speaker 1: a few people reached out to us about this next
Speaker 1: potentiality season. I don't know that's actually gonna be the
Speaker 1: case or not. Um that people have said that's the
Speaker 1: reason why Bachelor hasn't done a season like that. And
Speaker 1: that's the only one way to find now and that's
Speaker 1: just let it play out. See what happens. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: Like several people suggested when we cut contestants, let them
Speaker 1: go on dates with one another. Yeah, but I don't know,
Speaker 1: We'll see. I think that's the tricky thing in the
Speaker 1: on the real life show is well because you've seen
Speaker 1: it before. Remember like Tila Tequila shot at love. I
Speaker 1: think you guys and girls and yeah, see, like the
Speaker 1: contestants start to like get crushes on each other, and
Speaker 1: that's not what you want. I mean, that's not bad
Speaker 1: because I think I guess the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you're trying to find love for these people. You want
Speaker 1: your the lead of the show to be like the
Speaker 1: main folk. I don't know, I don't know. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I think it'll make some interesting it makes some
Speaker 1: interesting dynamics. I don't think Kyler and I are used
Speaker 1: to as yet, so I think it will be a
Speaker 1: good thing to watch and learn from. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: was just looking at tequila yesterday. I was living at
Speaker 1: the flavor flavor Tila Tequila. I wonder where they were,
Speaker 1: how are they doing? Remember the flavor? What was the
Speaker 1: name of that one? I can't remember flavor, I don't
Speaker 1: even know. But I was looking up the other day
Speaker 1: days about reality television. Yeah, those are the those O
Speaker 1: G days. Well he had next on TV when looking
Speaker 1: there was none of you'll remember that. I remember what
Speaker 1: was the show that Jennie McCarthy was on where one
Speaker 1: of the people would sit on the heart shaped chair
Speaker 1: and then they have all girls behind the chair and
Speaker 1: then they have to be like, Okay, would you rather
Speaker 1: have the naughty or the nice stay and then they
Speaker 1: have to choose. I dating myself right now. I love
Speaker 1: the one where the parents picked the daughter's boyfriends and
Speaker 1: then they and then the boyfriends would have to like
Speaker 1: watch as like the girlfriends going on the date with
Speaker 1: another guy. Parental control. That's what it is called. That.
Speaker 1: That was ahead of its time. It was really good.
Speaker 1: Uh the show I'm talking about singled Out? And remember
Speaker 1: singled Out? I think I've heard of it, but I
Speaker 1: don't know watching. They didn't Boy Meets World episode with it,
Speaker 1: which is why I remember it so well. I guess
Speaker 1: we all got to get back and start watching our
Speaker 1: real other television. Now is the best time for this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. I don't even know where you can
Speaker 1: find episodes. No, it's somewhere. It's on YouTube, Hulu, and
Speaker 1: it's somewhere somewhere. Um, Jimmy, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining us. Man, is there any other social handles you
Speaker 1: want to plug before you go that we can watch
Speaker 1: The Quarantine Bachelor on besides the Instagram? I mean we
Speaker 1: might we might start doing on YouTube like we started
Speaker 1: this three weeks ago to be free with you and
Speaker 1: like we I mean, we've gotten way more support than
Speaker 1: we expected. So I don't really have any other handles
Speaker 1: to plug right now. Um, but I want to say
Speaker 1: thank you guys for having me out the show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks for having it or thanks for coming on and
Speaker 1: thanks for helping these singles find some love in San Francisco.
Speaker 1: We're excited to tune in for season three. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean we're so just to shout out, I'm top of
Speaker 1: that is that we're doing it all over so I
Speaker 1: think we're not. We started in San Francisco, but we're
Speaker 1: trying to expand it to have like different seasons of
Speaker 1: different cities. Um. So that's that's hopeful for like these
Speaker 1: next couple coming of seasons. So um but yeah, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you guys having thank you and please tell your
Speaker 1: fiancee we said hello. Yeah, I'll put you guys in touch.
Speaker 1: You you you guys can send me a text. I'll say
Speaker 1: it's from you guys and say hey. Or even if
Speaker 1: you guys don't want to send me a text, or
Speaker 1: someone else wants to send me a text, I'll fake
Speaker 1: like it's from you guys. We can send you a
Speaker 1: text and so much. Of course, stay safe. Yeah, thank you? Um,
Speaker 1: all right, we are back, uh with help? I suck
Speaker 1: at dating? Can you forget where we were? I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I had this planned out in my head and it
Speaker 1: just the execution isn't on where I needed it to.
Speaker 1: Bess it shows we've been quarantined for a month. Welcome
Speaker 1: back to What the hell are we doing right now?
Speaker 1: Help my second thinking? My brain is complete much so
Speaker 1: listen to your heart is airing tonight, Dean. You're gonna watch? Um,
Speaker 1: I wasn't planning on it. Is it worth watching? You think?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I haven't seen it yet, but also
Speaker 1: we have nothing else to do. You know what's funny?
Speaker 1: When this was first announced, I was like, I'll be
Speaker 1: a cute little side show for the Bachelor of that.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe people watch, maybe people won't watch. Who knows?
Speaker 1: And now, I feel like it's going to be such
Speaker 1: a highly rated show for the Bachelor because it's coming
Speaker 1: out at the perfect time. I mean, unfortunately we're going
Speaker 1: through this pandemic, but at the same time, when you
Speaker 1: have a live television show where people are quarantined to
Speaker 1: their house, what better time to release it than right now.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is gonna be there. A lot
Speaker 1: of people are gonna watch this show. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's an interesting cont up because it's it's basically I
Speaker 1: hate to throw him under the bus, but the Jed
Speaker 1: White like, are you here for the right reasons? Are
Speaker 1: you here just to promote your music? Are here? Are
Speaker 1: you here to actually find love? Well? I think a
Speaker 1: little bit of both. Like I'm sure Dean can attest
Speaker 1: to this, Like, you go on the show for multiple reasons.
Speaker 1: You don't just go on for love. That's a that's
Speaker 1: a major factor, but you also go on for the
Speaker 1: experience and the exposure and the excitement of the unknown
Speaker 1: and being on a TV show, So go on just
Speaker 1: for love? Are lying to you totally? I feel like
Speaker 1: that's what the only reason why I would ever go on.
Speaker 1: I would go private on Instagram and I would go
Speaker 1: to be like, do you do we genuinely like each other?
Speaker 1: Then I would did what we can go for the experience.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I'm not saying you go on for
Speaker 1: Instagram fame or whatever, but you go on for the experience.
Speaker 1: People that'd say they're just going on to fall in
Speaker 1: love a are lying to you and be are the
Speaker 1: ones that don't end up finding love. I I totally
Speaker 1: agree with Dean. I've been saying this for a while.
Speaker 1: I think people that say I'm only here for love
Speaker 1: are crazy, Like, there's come on, if you're only here
Speaker 1: for a love, why are you going on a TV
Speaker 1: show which you know will try to manipulate you at
Speaker 1: some point. You know they're gonna put you in really
Speaker 1: difficult situations. And so I agree with Dean. I think
Speaker 1: there's a lot of reasons you go on. You know,
Speaker 1: there's other there's something else in the Bachelor world that
Speaker 1: kind of bugged me that I found annoying, which was unfortunate.
Speaker 1: And the Boston Herald is calling me because they want
Speaker 1: me to re up my subscription. Sorry, guys, is that
Speaker 1: what's annoying you? The Boston Herald? I mean, they're no,
Speaker 1: I love The Harold, but I just haven't renewed my subscription,
Speaker 1: so they called me every day anyway. Uh, there was
Speaker 1: some news and Bachelor. There was other news and Bachelor
Speaker 1: World that kind of bugged me last week. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm at this point in quarantine where everything is
Speaker 1: annoying me. I feel bad. I feel bad for Ashley
Speaker 1: because we're just cooped up and we have nothing better
Speaker 1: to do. So like little things are now bothering me more,
Speaker 1: which they shouldn't because I'm healthy and my family is
Speaker 1: healthy and we have electric city and we have a
Speaker 1: roof over our head. Good. Um. So I saw the news,
Speaker 1: Uh put out a clip from Caitlin Bristow's Off the
Speaker 1: Vine podcast with Hannah Ann and Caitlin is amazing. I
Speaker 1: have nothing but respect for that woman. And I don't
Speaker 1: know Hannah, and she seems very nice. I was definitely
Speaker 1: team man An when the whole Peter's situation went down.
Speaker 1: I felt bad for her, you know, when she said
Speaker 1: that he took away her first proposal. That was true,
Speaker 1: and I felt really bad. But I gotta admit there
Speaker 1: was something that they put on the news that just
Speaker 1: kind of it just made me like, look, put my
Speaker 1: back up a little bit, and and Caitlin asked Hannah
Speaker 1: a question. She said, what would you compare Peter's manhood?
Speaker 1: What vegetable would you compare Peter's manhood too? And Hannah
Speaker 1: and said collie flower because it's bland and it's tasteless.
Speaker 1: And then Caitlin said, oh, I would have said, you
Speaker 1: you know, probably like a limp asparagus, And then Annah
Speaker 1: and said, no, asparagus is good like cauliflower. You know,
Speaker 1: it needs like, it needs spice for flavors. It's bland,
Speaker 1: it's tasteless. Asparagus is good. I compared to cauliflower pretty much.
Speaker 1: That's what they said. And I couldn't help but think
Speaker 1: to myself, what if this was a guy and he
Speaker 1: went on someone's podcast and this particular person was asked,
Speaker 1: what would you compare your exes for? I guess what
Speaker 1: would you compare your excess vagina too? What vegetable would
Speaker 1: you compare your ex's vagina? Well, first of all, the
Speaker 1: question wasn't what would you consider Peter's penis manhood? What
Speaker 1: would you take that as? And I I think it's
Speaker 1: very it alludes to what you think, But they didn't
Speaker 1: explicitly say, penis right, So what's a vernacular for a
Speaker 1: woman's manhood tory? What would you say for me? I
Speaker 1: think all around like character like that's how I interpret
Speaker 1: like manhood, like is he ready to really like be
Speaker 1: a man and step up to the plate and get engaged?
Speaker 1: And she was saying no. I wasn't thinking. So maybe
Speaker 1: then I took it wrong because I thought they were
Speaker 1: talking about I feel I feel like we're being very naive,
Speaker 1: especially when they're comparing Peter's manhood to a limp asparagus.
Speaker 1: I think we're being a little naive here. Uh, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I just I I thought to myself, what
Speaker 1: what if the gender roles were reversed and a guy
Speaker 1: was talking like this and said that the females whatever
Speaker 1: you want to call it, was bland and tasteless. So
Speaker 1: when we answered the question, she was talking about his penis.
Speaker 1: I don't know who knows, But what do you I mean,
Speaker 1: do we really need to look up the definition of
Speaker 1: manhood where the Urban Dictionary of Manhood is? It looks
Speaker 1: I agree, I do agree with you that manhood could
Speaker 1: your penis. But I guess my point is maybe she
Speaker 1: interpreted the way that Kelly or that Tory interpreted it. Yeah. Maybe,
Speaker 1: so it's just maybe maybe maybe you're right, but that
Speaker 1: is I mean, it's still controversial because we all have
Speaker 1: our different idea and takes on it. So I mean, well,
Speaker 1: it's not that controversial if you're just alluding to it.
Speaker 1: I guess so maybe I just interpreted it wrong, that's all.
Speaker 1: Did you feel bad for Peter being in that position
Speaker 1: or were you more just upset by the gender role position?
Speaker 1: I guess more. It's just like, listen, Peter made every
Speaker 1: mistake he possibly could have, and he's gotten so much
Speaker 1: criticism for him, and well deserved. I like I was
Speaker 1: criticizing him too. Uh, but it's like, do we really
Speaker 1: have to kick a man wais down right now? And
Speaker 1: like say that his manhood whatever you want to interpret
Speaker 1: that as is bland and tasteless. Well, I look, I
Speaker 1: agree with everything you're saying. I don't think that it's wrong.
Speaker 1: But also she has asked a question about it. I
Speaker 1: think that's kind of more more of a jab at
Speaker 1: Caitlin than it is at Hannah, Like Caitlyn shouldn't be
Speaker 1: asking that question. Well, I mean you're asked no, Because
Speaker 1: I also think like you, Hannah Cann can answer that
Speaker 1: question anyway she wants. She could have been like, I
Speaker 1: don't really know, I don't know what to say about
Speaker 1: his manhood, like how do you compare that to someone?
Speaker 1: Or what vegetable I don't know. She could have said anything.
Speaker 1: She could have said broccoli because it's you know, not
Speaker 1: my not my favorite or whatever, you know. But I agree,
Speaker 1: like listen, I also want to say, I don't think
Speaker 1: this is the worst thing. It was just like again,
Speaker 1: one of these things that I was just bugged by
Speaker 1: and annoyed by. I'm in quarantine right now and I
Speaker 1: have nothing else to think about. I think that this
Speaker 1: is just my opinion. I think that Caitlin is deserving
Speaker 1: a more criticism than Hannah is in the situation for
Speaker 1: asking that question. Interesting. I never fault to anybody asking
Speaker 1: questions just because like you're that's what that's what your
Speaker 1: job is. You know, we're we're supposed to ask questions.
Speaker 1: We're supposed to ask tough questions and and and you know,
Speaker 1: people can answer anyway they want. That's my interpretation of it.
Speaker 1: I guess. I mean, look, you're entitled to it. I
Speaker 1: just think that that's just what I think to what
Speaker 1: do you think can you be can you be an
Speaker 1: impartial third party here on who should get the criticism? Yeah,
Speaker 1: if any criticism. So let me ask you, do you
Speaker 1: think what do you interpret that as? Do you think
Speaker 1: any there should be criticism anyway? I mean, I think
Speaker 1: you can always take the high road. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, when you go on reality TV, it's like
Speaker 1: you're kind of allowing yourself to really answer questions upfront
Speaker 1: and honestly totally. Of course, like you, I have no fault.
Speaker 1: I don't blame Hannah And talking about Peter. Of course
Speaker 1: he's gonna be asked about of course she has talked
Speaker 1: about him. What I'm saying is I think that Caitlin
Speaker 1: has every right to ask the question. It's she was
Speaker 1: definitely trying to stir the pot and you could identify that.
Speaker 1: So Hannah And could have chosen to go above that
Speaker 1: or get right in it. But I think that Hannah
Speaker 1: And is uh entitled to how she feels in that sense.
Speaker 1: But that doesnt mean it's always the truth behind it,
Speaker 1: you know, because it's like what you're saying, you know,
Speaker 1: somebody else can really you know, he's clearly spending time
Speaker 1: with Kelly, and Kelly would say his manhood is maybe
Speaker 1: an apple. So it's like you just you never know.
Speaker 1: It's it's just it's hard. I think that when you
Speaker 1: put yourself on reality TV, you're you're you're putting yourself
Speaker 1: in the position to answer questions and not dodge them.
Speaker 1: So she didn't dodge it, sure, I mean I don't
Speaker 1: agree with that. Just because you put your yourself on
Speaker 1: reality TV doesn't mean you have to answer every question
Speaker 1: that's asked towards you. What would you describe your own
Speaker 1: manhood as vegetable? I don't self describing on Let's just
Speaker 1: think of a vegetable for us up real quick? Oh,
Speaker 1: I got nothing? What about you? Maybe like a stick
Speaker 1: of cellary. That's a good one. Uh. I guess I
Speaker 1: just interpreted it poorly. I guess that's what you guys.
Speaker 1: You put me in my place. Maybe they were just
Speaker 1: talking about Peter's character. I don't think that you're wrong.
Speaker 1: I don't think you interpreted it poorly. I just think
Speaker 1: that there are a lot of different possibilities. I think
Speaker 1: that no one's no one's right in the situation, right,
Speaker 1: Like obviously you're you're sick of hearing people getting up
Speaker 1: on Peter. It's understandable because he has been getged up on.
Speaker 1: I mean, he deserved, he deserved criticism. But I think
Speaker 1: now it's just like I don't know, and it's my
Speaker 1: own fault. Like I follow you news, I don't have
Speaker 1: to listen. I just saw it and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh god, wait, what how does the news coming? The
Speaker 1: news is the one that reported it? That was because yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just like it was. I was on the
Speaker 1: news his Instagram story and so I was I was
Speaker 1: watching a news Instagram story and it popped up and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, Kaitlin and then Hannah in on
Speaker 1: the podcast, and I was curious what they said, and
Speaker 1: then I heard it, and obviously I just kind of like,
Speaker 1: like I said, and Peter deserves a lot of criticism.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying he didn't, but like, do we really
Speaker 1: need to compare his manhood right now to a cauliflower
Speaker 1: because it's bland and tasteless. I was like, alright, I
Speaker 1: come on, But the funny thing about cauliflower is I
Speaker 1: love cauliflower. I think it's one of my top three
Speaker 1: favorite vegetable. A little your top three? What is your
Speaker 1: top three cauliflower broccoli. Uh, it's a tomato of vegetable
Speaker 1: or a fruit. This is an age old question that's
Speaker 1: been surrounded by a lot of controversy. It goes cauliflower broccoli.
Speaker 1: What could be my third? A sparagus is pretty good,
Speaker 1: horns pretty goods is really good. Brussels sprouts are good.
Speaker 1: Brussels sprouts are awesome. You know, when I used to
Speaker 1: live with Nick, I gotta admit Nick made the best
Speaker 1: Brussels spouts. Maybe I should hit Nick up for some
Speaker 1: Brussels sprouts. You should just crash at his place for
Speaker 1: a solid week. He'll make you some good meals. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you're delicious. He used to cook and I would
Speaker 1: clean the us. A good cook made a lot of
Speaker 1: good pasta dishes. Who cooks more? Now you're Ashley. Ashley
Speaker 1: actually likes cooking. Is it like an every head of current?
Speaker 1: Do you guys order out as often? We? Probably? We
Speaker 1: order out. I think like our route team has been
Speaker 1: wool cooking home two nights in a row, and then
Speaker 1: we'll order out on the third. So it's like a
Speaker 1: nice little mix. It's like we you know, we love
Speaker 1: you know, she loves cooking and her mom cooks as well,
Speaker 1: and and uh, you know, I I don't cook because
Speaker 1: I don't want to poison the family. Um, and then
Speaker 1: we'll order out on our third night. And the third
Speaker 1: night's fun because it's like, oh, where are we going
Speaker 1: to order out from? Like I went to uh, we
Speaker 1: ordered from Longhorn the other night, and we had to
Speaker 1: go pick it up. So I went to go pick
Speaker 1: it up because I was very confident that I would
Speaker 1: be very um responsible for social distancing and wearing a mask.
Speaker 1: But it's it's weird, man, going out there. And just
Speaker 1: like even the pick up, Like, so we pulled into
Speaker 1: the spots and there was an empty parking spot and
Speaker 1: then the next parking spot had a had like a
Speaker 1: wooden plank in it so you couldn't park there. So
Speaker 1: they were separating everybody by six ft. But then you know,
Speaker 1: the the guy came out and with his mask and
Speaker 1: gloves and and so then you know, he put the
Speaker 1: food on the plank and then he walked away, and
Speaker 1: then I got out with my mask and gloves and
Speaker 1: took it to the are and put it in there.
Speaker 1: It's just like, man, it's just crazy right now. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's all necessary, But it's it's just it's gonna be
Speaker 1: interesting how we slowly get back into normalcy. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're obviously going to do it, but it's
Speaker 1: just it's it's frightening. Man. Like even driving I was
Speaker 1: just driving there and like I was getting myself psyched up.
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, stay, don't go near him, say
Speaker 1: six ft apart, put your gloves on, put your mask,
Speaker 1: like you have your pure already. I was like, is
Speaker 1: this gonna be my life for the next year? Didn't
Speaker 1: Faucist say something too, like we're never going to shake
Speaker 1: hands with each other again? Yeah? I mean I think
Speaker 1: shaking hands might become a thing of the past. Like
Speaker 1: I think we might look back twenty years and be like, wow,
Speaker 1: I can't believe society just shook each other's hands like that.
Speaker 1: That's stupid. I think I could for sure jump back
Speaker 1: to being normal. I'll shake hands and still hug everyone.
Speaker 1: I think I'm done shaking hands with the second the
Speaker 1: quarantine has lifted, I'm going back to everything completely normal again.
Speaker 1: I think I've done shaking hands, guys. I'll just hug
Speaker 1: you now, I will. I'm gonna have mace on me,
Speaker 1: and if anybody gets within my six foot bubble, uh
Speaker 1: in June and July, I'm mason you. I'm gonna warn you.
Speaker 1: I'll walk around with a T shirt that says, if
Speaker 1: you get within six ft of me, I'm masing you,
Speaker 1: so it will be a nice little warning. I can't
Speaker 1: How are you guys gonna go back to normal life?
Speaker 1: Like I totally I wish I could have your mentality,
Speaker 1: But now like once the once the world started saying
Speaker 1: we have to, which is what it was needed, you
Speaker 1: have to start living in fear, at least a little bit.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know if I can ever fully go back,
Speaker 1: Like of course when the quarantine ends and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go see my friends and family, but like, are we
Speaker 1: gonna stay six ft apart? I don't know. Maybe, like
Speaker 1: when I go see my parents, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it a big hug. What if I'm
Speaker 1: carrying it? And I don't know. That's just what a
Speaker 1: horrible way to live. But just in constant fear of
Speaker 1: spreading something that you might not even have. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying constant, but at least for the next few months. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: when's the next time, I'm gonna feel comfortable going into
Speaker 1: a crowded place. And then do you guys hear that concerts?
Speaker 1: Concerts might not take place till next summer. The silver
Speaker 1: lining is that now men are going to be washing
Speaker 1: their hands way more than they ever did before. We
Speaker 1: just my brother in law, we just had a whole confession.
Speaker 1: I was like, how often do guys really wash their hands?
Speaker 1: And I was frightened by the number because you guys
Speaker 1: really never really washed them until now. So the silver
Speaker 1: lining is, men are gonna wash their hands way more.
Speaker 1: Do you know how many times do you wash your hands?
Speaker 1: I've watched my hands more of the past month than
Speaker 1: I have in my entire life, that's for sure. Do
Speaker 1: you wash your hands before the whole quarantine started? Did
Speaker 1: you wash your hands every time you use the bathroom?
Speaker 1: Not every time, but I would say maybe like a
Speaker 1: third of the time. You know. You know what's funny,
Speaker 1: we act, Dean. You and I actually had a little
Speaker 1: conversation about this, uh, either earlier this year or late
Speaker 1: last year at the bathroom, and I heart, do you remember?
Speaker 1: I don't remember specifically, but I think I know what
Speaker 1: you're talking about because you brought up this entire subject,
Speaker 1: and you said, you know, it's weird that we wash
Speaker 1: our hands after we go to the bathroom because here
Speaker 1: I am touching my for lack of better term, manhood,
Speaker 1: and I haven't washed my hands yet. Should I wash
Speaker 1: my hands before I touched that area? Well, I guess
Speaker 1: my main because I've talked about this with other friends before, Mike.
Speaker 1: My main thing, my main grievance, what this whole situation is,
Speaker 1: why would we wash our hands after going number one
Speaker 1: in the bathroom when all we do is touch our manhood,
Speaker 1: our cauliflower, when in reality our hands are dirty. So
Speaker 1: in reality, we should be cleaning our cauliflower after going
Speaker 1: to the bathroom because that's the hands on and it's
Speaker 1: just like, it doesn't make sense. So that's that's my
Speaker 1: main argument, is like when I go to the bathroom,
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, anything, I should be cleaning my penist
Speaker 1: right now, so I'm just not gonna wash my hands.
Speaker 1: I would say that you should clean both before and after.
Speaker 1: If we start going and down that road, you should
Speaker 1: clean war you touch and then after you touch, because
Speaker 1: what happens if, like you know, you get a little
Speaker 1: droplets on your hands imagine if the was a penis
Speaker 1: cleaning stations in bathrooms. I don't even know what that
Speaker 1: would look like, but I'm interested. I mean it sounds
Speaker 1: pretty Look I'll wash my hands after number two every
Speaker 1: day of the week, but after number one, I just like,
Speaker 1: Like I said, it's just if anything, I should be
Speaker 1: watching my penis apple. All right, Well, with all this
Speaker 1: penis talk, should we do an email and then get going?
Speaker 1: Let's do you want to read it? I would love
Speaker 1: nothing more. Let me just bring it up and then
Speaker 1: here we go. So it is from anonymous A k.
Speaker 1: Nick bile Uh, and the subject line says call it
Speaker 1: quits question mark. So my boyfriend and I have been
Speaker 1: together since high school. He's graduating college at the end
Speaker 1: of the semester and I graduate the following year. He
Speaker 1: has taken a job just outside the town that we
Speaker 1: both grew up in and intends on building his career
Speaker 1: et cetera. Building his career there and continue to live there.
Speaker 1: The problem is, the single most place I do not
Speaker 1: want to live is in my hometown. I know for
Speaker 1: sure that as long as I'm living there, I will
Speaker 1: not be happy. It did Sationally, there aren't many opportunities
Speaker 1: within my my intended career in that area. I feel
Speaker 1: like any compromise will result in both of us being unhappy.
Speaker 1: He also regularly tries to persuade me into wanting to
Speaker 1: live there, despite me telling him I know that I'd
Speaker 1: be unhappy. Is this a reason to call it quits? Now?
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts? I think the reason enough to
Speaker 1: call it quits. Sometimes things just don't work out logistically,
Speaker 1: and that means you got to call it quits. It's
Speaker 1: no one's fault, it's just how it is. Wow. But
Speaker 1: they've been dating for so long. So she says that
Speaker 1: they've been dating since high school and they're graduating college
Speaker 1: at the end of the semester, which means they've been
Speaker 1: together for at least four or five years, and they're
Speaker 1: ready to call it quits because of location. Do you
Speaker 1: think that's right? Maybe this is the universe's way of
Speaker 1: telling them that they're not supposed to be together. Man,
Speaker 1: even though they've made it through college together. I feel
Speaker 1: like relationships that can make it through all four years
Speaker 1: of college, those are some strong relationships. I'm just saying.
Speaker 1: If this was a rom com and Ryan Reldolds was
Speaker 1: a star and Aila Fisher was playing the second lead.
Speaker 1: They would break up, they would go about their lives,
Speaker 1: and they would meet back up in five to ten
Speaker 1: years and hit it off. Are you quoting this the
Speaker 1: entire story of Definitely Maybe. I'm not quoting it, but
Speaker 1: I'm using it as a as a baseline reference. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you just yeah, so pretty much Anonymous should should
Speaker 1: watch Definitely Maybe and just go with that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan. It's a great movie. But it's
Speaker 1: a great movie. I'm actually totally in for this. You're
Speaker 1: in for the reason to call it quits? Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: bad English? What do you want from me? Bro? It's
Speaker 1: amazing my mind over here. I'm in for this. I'm
Speaker 1: in favor. I'm in favor of this. Yeah. Just watch
Speaker 1: Definitely Maybe and then uh see what happens. But this
Speaker 1: does remind me of our fellow bachelor friends Kendall and
Speaker 1: grocery store Joe because she ended up or heated, I'm
Speaker 1: not quite sure the whole situation, but calling it quits
Speaker 1: because she didn't want to move to the East coast, right,
Speaker 1: isn't the whereason from? Okay? Um? And do you guys
Speaker 1: think that was the right decision for them, like if
Speaker 1: you kind of put it to more of like an
Speaker 1: older position rather than thinking high school. Here's the thing,
Speaker 1: there's like there's a couple of options because it's like,
Speaker 1: let's say they moved together to wherever this place is.
Speaker 1: I'm speaking about the anonymous email here. Let's say they
Speaker 1: move and she does end up being happy, then she's
Speaker 1: gonna end up regretting him because he's the one that
Speaker 1: brought her there to make her unhappy. Let's say they
Speaker 1: you know, stay together and do long distance. Maybe the
Speaker 1: guy or girl has jealous tendencies that then make them
Speaker 1: resent the other person as well. So it's like by
Speaker 1: breaking up, they're kind of salvaging and saving their you know,
Speaker 1: the final moments that they've had together by like remembering
Speaker 1: them fondly rather than letting this relationship deteriorate to the
Speaker 1: point where they then are, you know, disliking each other
Speaker 1: and getting annoyed by each other and then looking back
Speaker 1: and having like resent full or remorseful feelings about that
Speaker 1: person other than like ending it on a high note
Speaker 1: seemingly like you know, from very outside for expective, I
Speaker 1: don't know much more about this, but from Joe and
Speaker 1: Kendall where they're like, Okay, we had a great run.
Speaker 1: We both clearly love each other. But if we do this,
Speaker 1: like if I go there, you come here, we do
Speaker 1: long distance, then maybe that will lead us to this
Speaker 1: resenting each other in some sort of way. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: agree with Dean. I think that if she moves there,
Speaker 1: there will be resentment. So maybe, um, maybe it's time
Speaker 1: to end the relationship. See what your life is like
Speaker 1: without the other person. I know this isn't probably the
Speaker 1: nicest advice, but it's something that you should think about.
Speaker 1: Maybe you, guys, if he doesn't want to move for
Speaker 1: you and you don't want to move for him, maybe
Speaker 1: it is time to break up. See what the world
Speaker 1: is like without each other. And if you realize that
Speaker 1: you'd rather be with this person in your hometown then
Speaker 1: live outside of your hometown without this person, then you know,
Speaker 1: at least you have your answer. That would be my advice.
Speaker 1: I love it. I think it's great. Um So, I
Speaker 1: think that's gonna do it for our episode of Hell
Speaker 1: I Suck a Dating. This is our fourth episode being quarantine?
Speaker 1: Am I wrong on that? Thank you? Sir? Could be four?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've lost count of days. We're on
Speaker 1: like day thirty quarantine something like that. But we just
Speaker 1: want to say big thank you to Jimmy. Oh God
Speaker 1: parenting PARENTO. Dean, you're so much Dean. You're so intellectual.
Speaker 1: Do you know that I'm so smart? You guys, it's crazy,
Speaker 1: you're very smart. Uh so, big shout out to him.
Speaker 1: Check out the Quarantined Bachelor, of which you can start
Speaker 1: following on Instagram right now. There. Season two is about
Speaker 1: to be uploaded. Uh so it is Quarantine Bachelor. Go
Speaker 1: check them out. And uh that's really big. Thank you
Speaker 1: to our emails. Big thank you to the I Heart Crew,
Speaker 1: Tory Eastern, Danielle Amy, everybody who is able to still
Speaker 1: have us record even though we're on opposite sides of
Speaker 1: the country right now. Um, big shout out to you, Deane.
Speaker 1: Make sure you follow him on TikTok because it's just
Speaker 1: him torturing Kalin but in a very lighthearted and loving way,
Speaker 1: and you guys should totally follow. And that's gonna be it.
Speaker 1: So make sure you guys tune in next week. We'll
Speaker 1: we'll hopefully we'll suck a little less. Follow help by
Speaker 1: suck at dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to podcast