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Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Kaylee Shore, and this is too much to

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Speaker 1: say before we even get started on anything else. I

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Speaker 1: really want to comment on the Nashville shooting. I can't

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Speaker 1: believe we're still dealing with mass shootings now. I don't

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Speaker 1: know how many more it's going to take, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know what more to say about it. I already

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Speaker 1: did a whole episode after Vivaldi, so what I want

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Speaker 1: to do is just a moment of silence in honor

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Speaker 1: of the victims. There were the teachers and staff, Mike Hill,

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Speaker 1: Katherine Koontz, and Cynthia Peak, and then the three nine

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Speaker 1: year olds, Evelyn deek House, William Kinney, and Hallie Scruggs.

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Speaker 1: I really hope we reach a solution to this sooner

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Speaker 1: rather than later. I made a post about it on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I just don't feel like anything I say is um

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Speaker 1: gonna be enough, so we're just gonna leave it at that.

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Speaker 1: But just feels weird to talk about anything else. But

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Speaker 1: I also do not know what else to say. Um.

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Speaker 1: So with that being said, let's get into the episode

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Speaker 1: Questions Out You. So this episode is one that I

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Speaker 1: have had planned since since I started the podcast, since

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty, and I've wanted to do it for a

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Speaker 1: very long time. UM, and I frankly was not allowed to.

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Speaker 1: But given the way the world is right now, and

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Speaker 1: specifically Nashville, in Tennessee and I mean really just America, UM,

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Speaker 1: it feels wrong to not talk about this given that

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Speaker 1: I'm watching my community suffer, and I don't even feel

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Speaker 1: like I can talk about it, Okay. So I have

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Speaker 1: debated doing this episode for about three years. Ever since

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Speaker 1: the podcast started in twenty twenty, I have had this

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Speaker 1: idea to do it, and for many reasons, I didn't.

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Speaker 1: And there's two reasons why I'm finally choosing now. One

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Speaker 1: is because of what's happening to my community in Nashville

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Speaker 1: and Tennessee specifically, but also everywhere in the country and

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Speaker 1: the world, but just having it be so close to home.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of legislation attacking queer people, specifically trans people,

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to talk more about that later, but

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Speaker 1: I feel the need to stand with my community and

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Speaker 1: a community that I feel so welcomed and at home in.

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Speaker 1: I have so many queer friends. I've just been surrounded

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Speaker 1: by that community since I knew I was queer. So

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Speaker 1: that's one reason I want to talk about this. And

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Speaker 1: then secondly, a teenage girl in my life who's very

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Speaker 1: important to me. I won't say who because she's still

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Speaker 1: figuring out how she wants to come out herself came

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Speaker 1: out to me and has a girlfriend. And I was

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Speaker 1: telling her, I'm like, you should be so empowered, like

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Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that, Like I'm so proud of

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Speaker 1: you for being so like knowing that about yourself at

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Speaker 1: such a young age, and like, you know, the girlfriend's

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Speaker 1: parents are very supportive, and she's so happy, and I'm

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Speaker 1: telling her all this and she knows damn well that

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Speaker 1: I am not out publicly, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm a little bit of a hypocrite here, aren't I.

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Speaker 1: And I just was like, you know what, I can't

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Speaker 1: in good faith tell her that and then not practice

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Speaker 1: what I preach. So we are here. I think that

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Speaker 1: there's there are levels of privilege within the queer community

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent. There's a lot of infighting within any

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Speaker 1: minority group, but within the queer community you still see

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Speaker 1: a lot of transphobia, a lot of racism, a lot

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Speaker 1: of ableism, I mean all within this community. And I

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Speaker 1: just want to acknowledge like the privilege that I have

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Speaker 1: as a queer woman in a straight relationship. I'm dating

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Speaker 1: a man, so nobody needs to know that I'm gay

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Speaker 1: unless I tell them. It doesn't mean that I've had

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Speaker 1: any less of an experience with homophobia or like you know,

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Speaker 1: struggling with that feeling, but it does mean that, like

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Speaker 1: I don't I can go in public with my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: and not have people say horrible things. Although when I

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Speaker 1: dated a girl that was a completely different story. But

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Speaker 1: I just want to acknowledge that. And I also feel

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Speaker 1: like there's a lot of God, I just I didn't

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Speaker 1: on Twitter too much, but there's a lot of discourse

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Speaker 1: on Twitter about whether or not a celebrity is queer

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Speaker 1: abating if they're in a straight relationship but they're talking

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Speaker 1: about their sexuality and like they want to, you know,

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Speaker 1: be part of the cool queer club, and it's just

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Speaker 1: like it does nobody's fun business for starters. Like there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of discourse when Billie Eilish was like, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I just don't know, and people are like

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Speaker 1: she's queer baiting, and it's like she's a teenager, Like

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Speaker 1: she's figuring it out. And and also yeah, it being

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Speaker 1: queer as a spectrum. You might not feel like you

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Speaker 1: could ever date somebody of the same gender, but be

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Speaker 1: attracted to them, and that's okay. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: types of men that I'm attracted to, but I would

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Speaker 1: have never dated because I, you know, have self worth.

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Speaker 1: But don't mean I was only less attracted to him.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, it just doesn't It just doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: be and you don't have to define it by anything.

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Speaker 1: And that is why I personally prefer the word queer.

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Speaker 1: I think it's all encompassing. It tells people, hey, it's

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Speaker 1: not your business, but I'm not straight. And also I

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Speaker 1: feel like it applies to me mostly because I really

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Speaker 1: just don't care about gender. I don't care if they're

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Speaker 1: a man or woman or no gender at all or

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Speaker 1: non binary. I just I like hot people who make

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Speaker 1: me laugh, that's my type. And smell good. That's also

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Speaker 1: that's very important as well. And it's it's really that simple.

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Speaker 1: So I just I personally like the word queer, but

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Speaker 1: I would never be offended if someone called me bisexual,

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Speaker 1: band sexual, because those applied to I just like the

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Speaker 1: word queer most okay, So I think there's there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of biophobia within the queer community as well, and

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Speaker 1: it makes you feel really invalid if you wind up

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Speaker 1: in a heterosexual relationship or even just like yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: it's like you feel guilty for turning your back on

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Speaker 1: being gay, but you didn't. You just fell in love

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Speaker 1: with someone. And the whole point of it is like

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Speaker 1: you can fall in love with anyone. And I made

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Speaker 1: a TikTok because that's like the only place I kind

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Speaker 1: of even allude to being queer on the Internet, and

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Speaker 1: that's been like a little soft launch on there. But

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Speaker 1: I was like, I am not any less queer just

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Speaker 1: because I accidentally started dating a man. Um that's what

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Speaker 1: it was, you know. I just I like who I like,

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Speaker 1: and just that one happened to stick. It wasn't because

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Speaker 1: he was a man. It's because I love him. And

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Speaker 1: I will say, like, that's a completely different experience dating

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Speaker 1: a man than dating a woman. I oh god, it

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Speaker 1: was really hard. Back in like twenty nineteen, I was

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Speaker 1: dating a girl and you know, actively in country music,

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Speaker 1: had a team who told me I couldn't come out,

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Speaker 1: that it was going to be like career suicide, and

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Speaker 1: I just would I was out to everybody in my

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Speaker 1: life when I was dating her. That's when I finally

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Speaker 1: came out to my parents, to a way better reaction

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Speaker 1: than I anticipated. But I would hide like when we

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Speaker 1: were like, I was so worried when we were in

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Speaker 1: public on dates that be like a fan would see

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Speaker 1: me or somebody I knew in the music industry, and

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Speaker 1: I was really afraid that someone would, you know, take

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Speaker 1: a screenshot of me on a dating app where I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, talking to women. I was really

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Speaker 1: afraid of that, and it was just like this constant

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Speaker 1: anxiety and just really hard because I did believe that

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Speaker 1: would be career suicide. And I had a team that

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Speaker 1: was just not supportive of me coming out and was like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: you're dating Sam, so you're not gay anymore. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: that's not how that works. That's literally that's not how

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Speaker 1: that works even a little bit. And shit like that

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Speaker 1: feels so invalidating, especially to the amount of struggles that

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Speaker 1: I've dealt with being queer. I mean, like I grew

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Speaker 1: up in the church, like, for fuck's sake, like I

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Speaker 1: truly believed I was going to help for this and

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Speaker 1: would pray every Sunday in church, that God would make

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Speaker 1: me ungay and forgive me for making out with a

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Speaker 1: girl the night before or whatever. And yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: I felt horrible and that doesn't go away just because

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Speaker 1: I'm dating a guy. That experience and that self hatred

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Speaker 1: and that internalized homophobia. I also dealt with a lot

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Speaker 1: of stuff, Like I had an old roommate who I

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Speaker 1: lived with, who I was friends with, tell me, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't approve of your lifestyle, but you know, I

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Speaker 1: love everybody. Jesus says loves everybody. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I live with you. Like I feel so fucking unsafe

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Speaker 1: in this environment because like, yeah, I'm dating a guy,

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Speaker 1: but you're still telling me that, like you think. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh God, and I can't believe people my age even

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Speaker 1: have that fucking opinion. It's so fucking annoying. And like,

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Speaker 1: there was just a lot of stuff that I dealt with,

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Speaker 1: especially when I was dating this girl we'll call her Mandy.

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Speaker 1: Mandy and I dated for significant, significant period of time

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Speaker 1: for me in twenty nineteen because I wasn't having very

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Speaker 1: long relationships and I'd had a lot of other, you know,

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Speaker 1: situationships with girls, especially in high school, but like we

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Speaker 1: didn't know what to call it, because like we were

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Speaker 1: gaslighting ourselves of thinking that we were, you know, queer.

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Speaker 1: We were like, oh no, we just like make out

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Speaker 1: when we're drunk, huh. And then it would just happen

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Speaker 1: when we were drunken. Then it was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: we're just like so silly, goofy, like, and then we'd

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Speaker 1: have these horrible like we'd hate each other's boyfriends and

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Speaker 1: just like be like way too opinionated on each other's

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Speaker 1: lives and just have this toxic dynamic. And in retrospect,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that was a girlfriend. Like that was super

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Speaker 1: a fucking girlfriend. And like almost all of my high

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Speaker 1: school friends are out at queer now, which makes perfect sense.

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Speaker 1: But I distinctly remember the closest I ever came to

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Speaker 1: coming out was there's this blog like music outlet called

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Speaker 1: Sounds Like Nashville, and they reached out to my team

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Speaker 1: and said, um, hey, we know Kaylee has been really

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Speaker 1: vocal in her support of the queer community. We'd really

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Speaker 1: love if she could write an essay like as an

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Speaker 1: ally for Pride Month. We're just having people you know

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Speaker 1: in country music do this, and we'd really love her

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Speaker 1: to be a part of it. And I was like, yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: And I wrote the article about like unlearning hatred that

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Speaker 1: you're taught and growing up Christian thinking gay people are

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Speaker 1: going to hell and like unlearning that. And I wrote

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Speaker 1: my essay and the person who I submitted it to,

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Speaker 1: like or my manager submitted it to, was like, oh, um,

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Speaker 1: is Kaylee? Is Kaylee an ally or a member of

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Speaker 1: the community, because like you could freaking tell. I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: this is like the least surprising news anybody's probably ever

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Speaker 1: heard in their lives, Like and I'm out to every

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Speaker 1: single person in my personal life, like everyone, so it's

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Speaker 1: just high time for this. But um yeah, I my

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Speaker 1: team member responded and said, um oh no, no no, just

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Speaker 1: an ally And I was like god, really excited for

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Speaker 1: a second because I thought I was gonna be able

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Speaker 1: to come out and then I wasn't. And I just like,

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Speaker 1: I feel so at home with queer people. I know

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Speaker 1: that it's my community, like I've always been drawn to

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Speaker 1: members of the LGBTQ plus community, but also just like

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Speaker 1: you know, you understand each other's problems. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: have friends of all shapes and sizes and identifications and

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Speaker 1: you know whatever, But like, I really feel at home

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Speaker 1: with those people. I feel at home in a lesbian bar,

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Speaker 1: I feel at home at a gay bar, and I

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Speaker 1: just don't want to not be part of that club

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Speaker 1: publicly when I'm totally part of it privately. And I

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Speaker 1: just am tired of hiding like fifty percent of myself

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Speaker 1: because I'm scared. So and again, why I wanted to

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Speaker 1: talk about this finally is because there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: legislation happening in Tennessee that is just blatantly attacking the

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Speaker 1: queer community. So I'm going to read about that next.

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Speaker 1: But thank you guys for listening. Hope you enjoy the

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Speaker 1: title of this one. I was really proud. I literally

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Speaker 1: came up with the title of this three years ago,

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Speaker 1: so it feels good to finally get off my chest.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back, okay. So, being queer in Tennessee

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Speaker 1: is harder than anybody in my generation can remember it being.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of legislation. One that's been passed recently

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Speaker 1: is HB one slash SP one, passed in the House

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Speaker 1: and the Senate. It goes into effect July first, twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three, and it requires all transgender teams in the

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Speaker 1: state of Tennessee to de transition between July of twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three and March of twenty twenty four. Most care

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Speaker 1: is going to discontinue July first, even though they don't

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Speaker 1: have to be de transition till March, because a lot

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Speaker 1: of doctors are going to be afraid of losing their

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Speaker 1: license and so they're going to stop treating trans people.

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Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about that, Southern Equality

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Speaker 1: dot org slash TN resources will provide you with a

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Speaker 1: much more articulate, in depth information about that. But that's

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Speaker 1: really really fucking awful. And the attack on trans kids

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Speaker 1: is unbelievable. They attract on trans people is unbelievable. And

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Speaker 1: I feel like, I know that I have so much

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Speaker 1: privilege as a white cisgender woman who can hide being

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Speaker 1: queer whenever she feels like it, and trans people are

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Speaker 1: just being put through the ringer, and I just, I

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Speaker 1: really really feel the need to stand with them. I

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Speaker 1: have so many trans and non binary friends, and this

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Speaker 1: ship just breaks my fucking heart. Another big one that

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Speaker 1: affects the queer community at large is Tennessee rejected federal

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Speaker 1: HIV funding from the Center for disease control. That was

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Speaker 1: in twenty twenty, Tennessee had nineteen two hundred and fourteen

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Speaker 1: HIV cases total. That wasn't new infections, that was total,

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Speaker 1: but that's still a very very large number. They're the

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Speaker 1: funding that they're turning down could prevent five hundred or

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Speaker 1: more infections a year. And the HIV funding isn't just

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Speaker 1: testing or treatment, it's all these different things. And I

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Speaker 1: personally had to take an anti like a preventative HIV

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Speaker 1: medication called true Vada, which a lot of gay men

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Speaker 1: will take, a lot of you know, people will take

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Speaker 1: if they're sexually active. If you're concerned about that, you

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Speaker 1: should absolutely take it. But it just prevents you from

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Speaker 1: lowers your chances of getting HIV. And so I was

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Speaker 1: sexually assaulted and at the Nashville Sexual Assault Center they

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Speaker 1: give that to you because if a rapist is raping you,

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Speaker 1: if a rapist is raping you without a condom, and like,

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Speaker 1: they don't sorry, that's not going to be the line

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Speaker 1: they draw on the morality stand. They're not going to

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, but I gotta tell her before I

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Speaker 1: rape her that I have HIV. Like no, So you

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Speaker 1: just never know and I was like, yeah, I want

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Speaker 1: to take it. I got really sick. It was really awful,

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Speaker 1: but I was really happy, Well happy, it's not the

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Speaker 1: right word. I was very I was very thankful that

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Speaker 1: that resource existed for me, because that would have been just,

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Speaker 1: I mean, just another awful thing on top of something

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Speaker 1: that was already awful. So it is not just where

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Speaker 1: people that that affects. It's it's everybody who's actually active

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Speaker 1: in the state of Tennessee or is a victim of

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Speaker 1: sexual assault, and that's just fucked up. Like imagine just

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Speaker 1: being like, no, we don't we don't want the federal funding,

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Speaker 1: the free money. We don't want that because gay people

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Speaker 1: get aids. It like gay people get cancer. Like it's

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Speaker 1: just I mean, oh, it's so upsetting. There's so much

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Speaker 1: in fighting within the LGBTQ plus community, so much of

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Speaker 1: which I see on Twitter. You see a lot of

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Speaker 1: trans exclusionary radical feminists who are lesbians just needlessly attacking

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Speaker 1: trans women, invalidating them, and I just like, it's so

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Speaker 1: heartbreaking to know that anybody who knows what it feels

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Speaker 1: like to be marginalized for how you identify and what

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Speaker 1: you are, it feels so awful that they could inflict

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Speaker 1: that on somebody else, And I really hate seeing that,

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Speaker 1: especially within, you know, the community that I've been closest to,

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Speaker 1: which is the lesbian community. And I hate, I just

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Speaker 1: I fucking hate it. And so I just don't want

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Speaker 1: to be part of the problem. And trans people and

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Speaker 1: trans people of color have specifically have done so much

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Speaker 1: work from Stonewall, which was like a huge turning point

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Speaker 1: in the gay rights movement, to just the advocacy, to

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Speaker 1: the fact that they are one of the highest, if

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Speaker 1: not the highest group of people like demographic that gets murdered.

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Speaker 1: Like this isn't just we're not just talking about like

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Speaker 1: when people are attacking trans rights, They're not just like

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Speaker 1: talking about sports teams. They're not just talking about how

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Speaker 1: somebody gets to dress walking up and down the street.

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Speaker 1: People fucking die. People are literally dying. And I would

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Speaker 1: just hate myself if I didn't do anything about it

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Speaker 1: and I didn't talk about it. And I also just

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Speaker 1: I want to stand with my community, and I you know,

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Speaker 1: I all of my trans girlfriends were advocating really like

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Speaker 1: outspokenly for reproductive rights and like abortion, even though they

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Speaker 1: can't get pregnant. They don't care. They they're they're advocating

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Speaker 1: for their fellow women, and that's all you're doing when

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Speaker 1: you're advocating for for trans women and trans people, is

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Speaker 1: like other members of your community, within the gay community,

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Speaker 1: within the female community, all of those things. And it

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Speaker 1: just feels simple to me. It just feels so simple,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I just get so angry. Um. I

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Speaker 1: want to leave this episode with something from a queer

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Speaker 1: thought leader named Leo Herrera. You can follow him on

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Speaker 1: Instagram at Herrera Images. I really really love his perspective

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Speaker 1: and he posted something the other day that just gave

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Speaker 1: me chills. But he said, bigots love to act like

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Speaker 1: queers are new and anti LGBTQ laws are groundbreaking. They

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Speaker 1: are not criminalizing. Queer folks are ancient wars. History teaches us.

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Speaker 1: They bust out the laws when they're losing the culture war.

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Speaker 1: Turn on TikTok and TV. Honey, it's over. We are

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Speaker 1: the queerest generation since the nineteen sixties. Why we saw

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Speaker 1: so many anti gay school initiatives quote unquote for the

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Speaker 1: children in the seventies when quote unquote cross dressing and

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Speaker 1: sodomy we're still illegal. When our spaces were still being

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Speaker 1: rated when we still managed to lead a cultural revolution.

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Speaker 1: The laws only made us more clever and fired up.

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Speaker 1: This is a playing field queers have a hundred years

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Speaker 1: of experience with in America. Criminalizing, with its bureaucracy and

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Speaker 1: political followut is usually a last resort with those biggots.

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Speaker 1: Don't want you to understand is that they are the

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Speaker 1: cornered animals, not us. Yes, that makes them very dangerous,

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Speaker 1: but baby, the heels on our big feet are way

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Speaker 1: older than the boots at our neck. And I really

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Speaker 1: loved that. So that's off my chest. That feels really good.

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Speaker 1: I had no idea how to go about this, and

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Speaker 1: I really thought about it for a long time. I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to issue a press release and be like, hey, guys,

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Speaker 1: Keane Shore, who's like dating a man she's likely going

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Speaker 1: to marry, has dated women in the past, Like that's

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Speaker 1: just so, I don't want anyone to think I'm doing

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Speaker 1: this for attention. I feel like I see a lot

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Speaker 1: of stuff online accusing people of doing that, and I

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Speaker 1: think that's inherently rather biphobic, but whatever, But I just

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Speaker 1: I really am coming from a good place, and I

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Speaker 1: felt like the best place I could do. This was

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Speaker 1: on my own podcast, where I already just talk about

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Speaker 1: myself every week, and I can just get this off

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Speaker 1: my chest. I've provided some resources in the description for

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Speaker 1: queer people in Tennessee and queer people in general, so

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Speaker 1: if you are questioning and you feel like you don't

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Speaker 1: know where to turn, I'm going to provide some resources.

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Speaker 1: And um, I'll probably do another episode on this as

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Speaker 1: I feel more articulate, but honestly, as a little nervous,

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Speaker 1: I had to take some beta blockers and drank a

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Speaker 1: glass of wine even though it's only like four pm

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Speaker 1: when I'm recording this, because I was really nervous. So, um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's off my chest and I can just fucking say

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Speaker 1: it now. That's really exciting. I'm you know what I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna go do. I'm gonna upload this podcast and then

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go put a fucking rainbow emoji in my

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Speaker 1: Instagram bio. That's what I'm gonna do, chairs bitches. Um,

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Speaker 1: thank you guys for listening. I'm Kaylee Shore and this

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Speaker 1: is too much to say, but don't you questions it out.

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Speaker 1: You