WEBVTT - Don't Forget to Swipe 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell, I Suck at Dating with the Nungler and Jared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:11.399 Haven and I heard radio podcast what's going on? Everyone? 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:14.680 Welcome to help. I Suck at Dating? And what an 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:18.159 incredibly special episode we have for you today, Because not 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:21.759 only is this episode I actually don't really know what 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:24.880 number it is, but this is gonna be It's gonna 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:26.439 be a lot. It's not either that I was. I 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:28.120 was gonna say this is gonna be our Halloween episode, 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:30.440 but I just realized we're recording one more episode before Halloween. 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:32.680 So I'm just gonna go ahead and hope that the 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:35.360 editors cut all that out of there. But Jared, how 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:37.360 are you? I'm doing well? How are you? Gene? I'm 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:41.080 trying to look up how many Easton or Riley or anybody? Hannah? 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:43.599 Do we know how many episodes this is? Nobody knows, right, 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:45.760 it's gotta be a lot. I would be I would 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:47.199 be shocked if anyone had that number. I would be 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:49.839 very surprised. I'll check on that. I'll check on that 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:51.960 for you. Guys. We've been doing this since late two 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:55.760 thousand What year was it, No? Early two thousand and eighteen, right, 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:58.680 so you're talking about almost three full years. So it's 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:00.560 like two and a half years. So let's say eighteen 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:05.399 months roughly. What listen, I'm doing some math live on 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:07.240 the air, which is never a good idea, but we're 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:08.720 going to try it. So if it's if we did 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:12.240 this once a week for eighteen months, right, what's eighteen 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:16.920 times four seventy two? So nice? Only seventy two episode? 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.640 I have the number. Well, are recounting from my first 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:21.319 episode back in the day when it was just me 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:25.120 a solo Hostan cares. That's the number I have. I 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:27.360 can get it after Jerry joined. I'll take me just 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:28.920 a few. If you want to vamp for a bit, 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:32.240 I can get that. Well, how many totally? Let's let's 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:34.800 GUESSNT know before he before he says it, right before 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:36.560 he gives us an answer. I want to I want 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:40.760 to make an educated guess because I this podcast was started, 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:44.840 um for whatever reason, Lord knows why this podcast has 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:48.200 even ever started. Because you sucked at dating, bro, I know, right, 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:50.880 But I think it's actually I don't know what's more 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:53.000 of a shock to me, the fact that this podcast 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:55.560 ever was started, or the fact that this podcast is 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:59.360 still going. The fact this podcast is still going. It's 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:02.360 not even one of those things are mind blowing, absolutely 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:05.040 mind blowing. Um. Okay, so I'm sorry, I'm almost back 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:07.280 to where I need to be. Okay, here we go. 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:11.680 This podcast started on September two thousand and seventeen. That's 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:17.480 four years and one month ago. That's months, four months, 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:20.560 four episodes a month. You're looking at probably right around 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:23.919 two hundred episodes, give or take, like maybe we took 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:26.440 a couple of weeks off, but we definitely recorded a couple. 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:29.280 I'm gonna say this is episode two hundred and sixteen 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:35.080 of what do you think total? I mean four years, 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:39.400 once a week, four times force. I think it's lower 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:43.840 than that. I bet it's so you said to sixteen. 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:49.280 I'm gonna say one sixty four. All right, are wait, 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:51.320 wait before we get to the nitty gritty. Here are 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:53.560 we playing prices right rules? Where I'm over by one, 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:58.000 you win because you were now closest. I hate that. Okay, 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:01.720 I agree, East End. Can we get a drum roll? 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:10.560 This is episode two hundred and six No, it's not 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:15.040 no way he's lying. There's no way. I swear to God. 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:16.880 And I kind of think that Dean looked at something 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:21.640 because we have done uh, two hundred and this would 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:24.639 have been the two episode total, but I took out 0:03:24.680 --> 0:03:28.200 there's two teasers in there. I don't count those full episodes. Dude, 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:31.600 Dean is the Houston Astros right now. He cheated somehow, 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:35.160 he's stealing signs. There's no way you guys. I have 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:36.960 actually gonna jump off the podcast real quick and go 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:39.360 down to the casino and just put everything black. Dude, 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:41.800 play the power Ball, whatever numbers you think of at 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.600 the top of your head. Just put three million dollars 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:46.160 on there. You're gonna trick your money. I got to 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.800 say I'm secretly really good at those types of guesses. 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:52.400 We were driving through Italy whenever we were there last month, 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:54.960 and we were like, the role so the way the 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:57.240 roads work out there, as you as you're getting on 0:03:57.280 --> 0:03:58.800 the interstate, you like pull a ticket and then when 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:00.880 you get off the interstate, how for long ago, that's 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.640 how much money you pay? And we got off like 0:04:03.720 --> 0:04:06.960 after like six hours of driving, and Caitlin and I 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:08.480 were like, well, how much do you think the ticket's 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:10.040 gonna be worth or whatever? And I was like, it's 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:13.600 gonna be nineteen dollar or nineteen and seventy euros. And 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:16.480 it came out to like nineteen sixty and I was like, 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:19.640 so I'm telling you I've I've got a secret skill here. 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:21.359 I'm gonna put this on my resume that I am 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:23.840 incredibly good guesser. All right, East, Do you know the 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.120 number of how many podcasts we've done since I've joined. 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:29.680 I'm trying to figure that out. I think I feel 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:32.000 I thought that Dean did a lot before you joined, 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:33.960 but it wasn't that many. It was like, I'm trying 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:36.920 to pinpoint exactly because you took over the show with Kendall. 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:39.080 Do you remember that that one? Remember that was the 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:42.160 first episode ever? Yeah? That was so I don't know 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.280 if you if you joined immediately after that, that was 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:46.920 episode twenty four where it was you in Kendall. So 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:49.159 I kind of joined, but not really joined because I 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.680 wasn't official. It was just like I kept getting invited back. 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:54.440 I also got super lucky when I first came on 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:58.080 this podcast because we had Kendall on. She was just 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:00.600 coming off of our season so that was a big hit. 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:03.760 And then we had Amanda stand on and just so 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:07.280 happened that week that Amanda had this online feud with 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.240 Josh Murray if you guys remember that where they were 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:11.960 like tweeting back and forth at each other. So then 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:13.839 she came on, so the numbers were really good for 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:16.919 that podcast. And then the week after that, I think 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:20.840 o'dan was back and you had just broken up with Leslie, 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:23.279 so that was a huge podcast. And in the week 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:28.200 after that, we had Vanessa on and I think Vanessa 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:30.680 had just broken up with Nick or there was like 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.000 some sort of big news with Vanessa and I think 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:35.159 it maybe her and Nick just broke up. So it 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.120 was like four straight weeks where I just kept getting 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:40.159 invited back, invited back, where the numbers were through the 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:43.480 roof because of all these guests and I'm just like 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:45.279 a munching on this and I'm like all right. And 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.760 then finally Amy, you know, our boss, Amy was like, yeah, 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:49.920 we'll sign you a full time and I was like great, cool, 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:53.039 signed the contract before the numbers start going down. And 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:55.560 I remember specifically too, that was I just looked it 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:58.960 up on my Instagram. That was March March, and it 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:03.719 was because uh I sprung an impromptude trip to India 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:05.200 and they were like, okay, well cool, like you have 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:07.360 to record your podcasts and I was like, I'm probably 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:10.839 just gonna go and not record anything, and uh, Amy, 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:12.720 who's are like head producer, was like okay, well then 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:15.719 like you're obviously gonna get fired from your podcast. And 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.360 then so they brought in like Nick to host an episode. Uh, 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:19.880 you to host an episode, and there was some other 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.800 guy from like Big Brother to host an episode, and uh, 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:26.360 obviously you just wowed everyone. You know. All the credit 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:28.640 goes to the people who still listen to this podcast, 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:32.840 specifically Bachelor Nation, I tell you, and Easton probably can 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.480 attest this from doing so many podcasts with different Bachelor 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:39.160 Nation members. The people that watch that show, You guys 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:44.000 are so loyal and you listen and you follow our lives, 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:49.240 and I cannot thank you enough because without you, people 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.480 who watched the show, I don't know what the hell 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.560 I'd be doing because you truly, like everybody's like, oh, 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:56.200 you guys have a platform. I'm like, the reason I 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.960 have a platforms because people listen, And so thank you 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:02.560 for everybody listening. Guys are the best. Yeah, fully agree 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:04.960 with that instead of opening a restaurant, you would be 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:06.719 back to managing one, I guess, which is not a 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:08.799 bad thing by any stretch of the imagination. No, it's great. 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:11.080 I mean I'm still managing it. I just so happen 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:12.400 to own it as well, which is, you know, a 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:16.640 dream coming true. So right right, hey, question on that front, 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:21.920 are you and actually co owners? Uh? Technically speaking that's 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:27.000 a negative. So well what happened? We talked about this 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:30.200 when we made the LLC. It was just better if 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:32.200 it was one sole owner because apparently if you have 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:35.600 two owners you get into some muddy waters. And so 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:38.400 it was just like, all, you know, I've been the 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:41.600 one doing been there every day, and and Ashley has 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:44.320 been obviously a very big help. But when we it 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:46.760 was just like this would be We're still like, you know, 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:49.720 we're both owners of it. It's both our baby. But like, 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.200 technically speaking, yet the business is fine, like on the 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:56.120 business license, it says Jared. When it comes down to 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:58.360 brass tacks and like an important decision has to be made, 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:02.640 it's your word that is. Yeah, I'd like to think that, 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:05.920 but like obviously it's just not. For example, I was 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.280 going to hang some wal art and I'm like, I'm 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:10.680 not gonna do this as without Ashley because i know 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:13.800 I'm gonna hang something She's gonna walk in next week 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:15.720 and be like, I don't like it there. I want 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:18.320 it there, And I'm gonna say, well, I already hung 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:20.120 it there, and she's like, well, can't you just take 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:21.440 it down and put it there? And I'm like, yeah, 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:23.840 I guess I can. So instead of going through that 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:27.200 stressful situation, I'll just wait till Ashley comes in. So 0:08:27.400 --> 0:08:30.360 that's an example for you, Dean, of how much power 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:34.320 in quotations. I actually have. How many fat head wall 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:36.400 decals of Tom Brady are going to be up at 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:41.520 Audrey's coffee shop? None? But how many will be hanging 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:44.600 in my kid's bedroom. Now that's the better question. My friends, 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.000 you should have like a super secret lounge area where 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:51.880 it's just all Tom Brady memorabilia. So it's like, if 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:54.360 they really want the real Jared Hibbin experience, that's where 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:56.160 they go. I will have that and it won't be 0:08:56.200 --> 0:09:02.320 so secretive one day. I mean yeah, I mean it 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:05.080 is pretty disappointing to see you, Like, even when the 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.440 Bucks played the Patriots, you're wearing a Bucks jersey. So um, 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:11.280 I love Tom Brady. I just uh, I just I 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.800 don't know how that makes me feel. I will say, 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:16.240 your fantasy football team in our league is doing pretty well, 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:18.560 So congratulations to that much appreciated. How are you doing, 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:23.000 I haven't even noticed. I'm I'm foreign too. I'm up 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:24.559 there with you. I think we're actually tied, but you 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:26.400 have more points, so you're like still above me a 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.120 little bit. But before we lose every listener we have 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:32.240 right now, so this fantasy football talk, let's uh, let's 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:34.440 go ahead and tease our guests. So coming up after 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:37.079 this quick break, we have Alyssa de nine who is 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:39.720 the author of the Art of Online Dating, and we 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:42.120 are going to ask her all the questions when it 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:44.880 comes to online dating. So stick through this break with us. 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:59.160 We'll be right back and we'll see you soon. Welcome 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:02.480 back to help I suck at dating. As Dean teased 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.360 so professionally and well. Before the break, we have a 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:08.400 very special guest. She's the author of the Art of 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:11.280 Online Dating, which is going to be available on Amazon 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:15.720 starting October twenty six, which by the time this podcast 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:17.880 comes out. Hold on, let me look at my calendar. 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:20.400 Is going to be Tuesday. This Tuesday, in two days, 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:22.800 you will be able to buy the Art of Online Dating. 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:28.440 It is Alyssa dnine. Did I say that properly? Yeah? 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:30.240 Oh yeah, I'm gonna pud myself on the back. I'm 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:33.000 terrible with names. I have been doing good, I know, 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:35.040 I've really been trying to up my game, even as 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:38.800 my wife I pronounced my own last name two different ways. Why, 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:40.960 I don't know, I've heard it both ways throughout my family. 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:45.280 So a lista tell us a little bit about yourself, 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:48.440 and tell us about what the art of online dating 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:51.560 is all about. Yeah, so well, I'm I've been a 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.360 stylist for almost twenty five years in New York, and 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:58.319 when I became divorced at age forty one, I have 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:01.920 been with my husband for way before cell phones existed, 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.400 So I had no idea what I was doing, and 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.520 um had to enlist a few friends to help. And 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.559 I realized in the process, like there must be tons 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.720 of other divorced people like myself, who are you know, 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.680 middle age or older and trying to figure all this 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:20.520 out with online dating. Um, so I created a business 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:24.160 style my profile to help people get their profiles, you know, 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:27.320 up and running and looking good and kind of selecting 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.959 the right pictures. And and then I just saided to 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.520 write a book about my whole experience working with clients 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:35.600 and my own experiences and kind of a guide book 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:40.160 to help people through the whole process. So you used 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:47.720 your stylist background to help people stylized their online profile. Yeah. Yeah. 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:49.679 So it started off where I was just sort of 0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:52.480 helping people, like like a little bit of a makeover 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:54.880 and then kind of help you. I would hire a 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:57.959 good photographer to take good pictures and I'd style them 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:00.320 and you know, get a good you know, it was 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.440 a female like hair and makeup person um. But it 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.880 kind of evolved into once I got people up and 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:09.120 running in their profile, then people kind of were like, well, 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:11.400 I still don't know what I'm doing. So now I 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:14.000 have a great profile, I'm matching with people, but now 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:15.760 it's like a whole other thing. There's like a whole 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:18.800 other hurdle. So then it turned into date coaching and 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.360 kind of like the whole like a holistic approach to 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.240 online dating where it's like, Okay, you've got your great profile, 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:27.400 but then also you know, kind of figuring out how 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:29.960 to message and how to ask people out, and you 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:31.800 know what to wear on a first date and what 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:34.280 to talk about and and also just like kind of 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:38.680 figuring out what you want in another in a partner. Yeah, 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:40.520 so it sounds like you're just helping people kind of 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:43.040 like dial in that first impression and then you were 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:44.480 able to kind of take a step further with the 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:48.200 book and everything else from there. Exactly exactly, can you 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:51.400 give us like a little bit of a cliff notes version, 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:54.120 because I want to know for everybody listening out there, 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:55.720 like what are some of the things that they should 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.560 be doing when they go to an online dating site 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:01.400 or an online dating app. Now, obviously there's so much 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:04.640 information out there, there's so much people, you know, so 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:06.959 many things that people need to do with First of all, 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.480 sign up for it, create a profile, pick the pictures, 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:12.199 pick what they're gonna say. Then actually start talking to people, 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.480 are liking people, and then what do they say? Like 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:17.599 who reaches out first? How long does it take to 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:19.520 talk on the app before you actually meet them in 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.000 real life? Like, I don't know, can you give us 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:23.960 a little bit of a breakdown of like a sequence 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.880 of events that need to occur when going through the 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:29.160 online dating world? Well, yeah, and I mean, you know, 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:30.720 keep in mind that a lot of my clients are 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:34.280 coming to me similar to myself where you've never done 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.600 this before. You know, you met your partner in college 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:39.920 and you know, and got married in your mid twenties 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.560 and that was it. So just kind of even like 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:45.440 picking out the right app for people is tricky. You know, 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:47.880 there's so many apps now and which one do I use? 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:49.920 And which one is right for me? And you know, 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:51.760 so we kind of have a whole process of like 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:54.319 there's a questionnaire I give to everybody and kind of 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:56.160 figure out where you know, where it depends on how 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:57.760 old they are and where they live, and so we 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:01.160 figure out what apps they should use. And then of course, 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:03.120 like we write a whole bio, we help them write 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:05.120 their bio and put that up there. And I ask 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:07.800 you a question about the dating apps. How many dating 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:10.439 apps should a person be on one at one time 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:14.440 or should they do multiple? I recommend two or three 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.360 at a time, And you know, because I think most 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:21.560 people are really pretty um, it depends on how enthusiastic 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:24.680 I guess you are in meeting somebody. But I feel like, 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.440 you know, one is fine, but two or three is 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.640 definitely gonna, you know, increase your chances. And but the 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:32.640 thing is that I always tell my clients. You have 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:35.720 to be willing to, as you guys know, doing online dating, 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.840 you have to really be willing to actually throw yourself 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:41.160 into it and not just oh, I'm going to just 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.160 put up a couple of pictures and check it every 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.520 few weeks and expect to get dates out of that. 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:47.640 You know, it's it's so there's so much more to 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:50.480 online dating than just putting a few pictures up there 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:52.800 and and messaging once in a while with somebody. And 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.840 it doesn't as we know, it's not instantaneous. Like even 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.440 once you match with somebody and message with them, then 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.520 it can take a couple of weeks even sometimes to 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:02.720 get to the date. So you know, it's it's a 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:05.800 whole process and just kind of coaching people through that 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.560 whole thing. So I think one of the biggest hurdles 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:10.480 when it comes to online dating, And correct me if 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:12.880 if you think this is not accurate, but it's the 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:16.160 conversation of like getting off of the platform, right, So 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:18.040 what kind of advice would you have for the listeners 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.280 for going from just matching with someone talking to them 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.920 to like getting a phone number and then like organizing 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:26.240 a first date that like, what is what is your 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:29.640 advice for that type of that process. I actually I 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:33.720 recommend the sooner the better getting in real life, um, 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:36.000 whether that's a you know, a video call or an 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:38.680 actual in person date. You know. And since the pandemic, 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:40.920 people are a lot more willing to do a first 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.040 date as a video call, um. But I think the 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:46.280 sooner the better as soon as you have some sort 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:49.720 of connection or report all. I think, you know. And 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:53.760 I'm always encouraging my female clients don't wait for you know, 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:57.120 heterosexual couples, like, don't wait for guys to ask you out. 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.880 It's I mean, it's like you I feel like, honestly, 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:03.160 no offense, but like I feel like men are worse 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:08.440 about asking out than women are. I feel like yeah, 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:11.640 and I feel like sometimes like like like you're just 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.360 kind of waiting for weeks and like, oh, you know, 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:16.840 everything's great and we get along so well, and but 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:19.200 he's just not asking me out. And it's like and 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:22.160 I think that's really common, and that's all age groups, 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.760 because I have clients that are in their sixties and 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:29.480 seventies and and men are still having our time asking 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:31.360 women out. Like it doesn't matter how old you are, 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.240 it's it's hard. So I always say to my female applients, like, 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:36.680 just ask them out. You know, what's the worst that's 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:38.760 going to happen. They're gonna say no, you know so, 0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:41.000 and I feel like a lot of men and maybe 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:43.240 you can, you know, attest to this, but I feel 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:45.400 like a lot of men are actually in a way 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.040 relieved if they're interested and they you know, and they 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:50.840 want that to happen, they might also be like, I 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.680 don't know if I should ask her out yet, And 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:55.200 so I think if you take away that one, you know, 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.400 that one step for them, you know, And then I 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:00.360 say like, once i'd ask somebody out if they said us, 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:03.040 then I'd kind of be like, okay, great, so you 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:05.800 make the plan and you know, and I'll show up 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:09.000 kind of thing. Um, it's making that first move. And 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:10.639 that's the nice thing about all my dating too, is 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:14.400 because there's already been expressed interests, so it's like they 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:16.160 liked you enough to swipe one way or the other. 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:20.000 So yeah, yeah, And I think it's that so many 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:22.480 people get caught up in the you know what we've 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:25.159 been messaging and you know, and they're not asking me 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:28.440 out or you know, or he keeps like putting it off, 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.000 or she keeps putting it off. It's like, you know, 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:33.320 the person doesn't know you yet, they're just going based 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.840 on what you've written a few times and your photos, 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:38.480 So you can't really take it personally. If somebody is, 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:42.680 you know, whatever, being flaky or not being proactive, it's like, 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.160 I think you have to really and this is hard 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:46.840 and I had a hard time doing this too. Is 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:50.160 like not taking everything so personally and not and not 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.560 making it seem like, oh, you know, this person isn't 0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:55.479 interested if they haven't asked me out yet, it's like 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:57.479 I think they don't even know you yet. You know. 0:17:57.560 --> 0:18:00.320 It's like you're just you're in that first stage there. 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.960 So the quicker you can make it happen where you 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.840 meet in real life, the better. True and also on 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.640 the same on the same vein, like if you get 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:11.159 denied asking someone on a date, they're denying someone that 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:13.040 they don't know anything about. So it's like you can't 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:16.240 take that personally because not not as a rejection, it's 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:20.320 like it has nothing to do with you. Hey, in 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.760 the book, you talk about a closet cleans. Is that right? 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:26.640 Can you tell us about that? Yeah? So I mean 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:30.359 when I first became single again after so many years 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:32.600 of being with my husband, I you know, I was 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.720 like a mom and a wife. And you know, I 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:37.520 think a lot of men and women go through this 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:39.960 stage after they've been in a relationship for a really 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.640 long time. It's kind of just trying to figure out 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:45.320 who you are again, and you know, and I think 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:49.080 for me, I was, you know, not just a mom 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:50.960 and a wife anymore. I was like a single woman 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:53.520 and just trying to kind of like redefine what that 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:56.320 was for me. And you know, so I went through 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.560 the whole closet perch thing was just so um, you know, 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:02.199 it was just very symbolic for me. And it was 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:05.600 like getting rid of like my my married life and 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:08.560 like bringing in, you know, bringing in the new and 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:10.840 kind of getting rid of the old. And it was 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:13.479 I encourage all my clients, men and women to do 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:15.280 that because I think it feels really good to just 0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:18.000 kind of start fresh and kind of figure out who 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:20.359 who do you want to present yourself to the to 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:22.679