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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 2: the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 3: My neighbor tried to sue me and it completely backfired.

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Speaker 2: They accidentally sued themselves.

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Speaker 3: I've been dealing with some bad neighbors for three years now.

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Speaker 1: I thought i'd share my story, both for entertainment.

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Speaker 3: Value, but also to ask what would you do differently

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Speaker 3: in my situation. By the way, this comes through user no,

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Speaker 3: pants are safe and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 3: own stories, but our slash Okay Storytime subbured it.

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Speaker 1: This op is.

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Speaker 3: Ants ants in the pants, ants in the pants, That's

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Speaker 3: why pants are safe.

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Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to.

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Speaker 1: Give you a good advice goofley, But we don't have

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Speaker 1: all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So

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Speaker 1: tell us what you'd do down in the comments.

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Speaker 2: And be weary of those ants in your pants.

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Speaker 3: And Op says the context behind the neighbors an old

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Speaker 3: man lives there who had a wife that passed away

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Speaker 3: before I moved in. Now, so younger people from the

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Speaker 3: projects who aren't related to him take advantage of him

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Speaker 3: and live with him rent free.

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Speaker 1: How they met, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Despite the less than reputable characters that live with him,

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Speaker 3: the old man is the biggest thorn.

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Speaker 1: In my side.

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Speaker 3: I wish I could post pictures in this subreddit, but

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Speaker 3: I'll just have to describe it. My house is situated

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Speaker 3: further back from the road than theirs, so I can

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Speaker 3: see into their backyard from my front yard. The old

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Speaker 3: man likes to drive into his yard and pull up

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Speaker 3: to his front door to unload groceries so he doesn't

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Speaker 3: have to walk as far to take them inside. I

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Speaker 3: understand that part the problem is he pulls down my

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Speaker 3: driveway then across my yard to get to his front door.

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Speaker 3: It ruins my grass and leaves ruts in the yards.

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Speaker 2: Just driving across your yard.

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Speaker 4: That's crazy.

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Speaker 3: Drive across your own yard, old man. The next time

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Speaker 3: I saw him outside, I asked him to stop driving

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Speaker 3: in my yard, and he said he but he kept

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Speaker 3: doing it. A second time I asked him to stop,

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Speaker 3: and again he didn't stop. After the third I was

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Speaker 3: so angry, and so I went to his house and

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Speaker 3: pounded on the door, but nobody answered.

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Speaker 1: I went home, wrote an.

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Speaker 3: Angry note and package taped it to his door, threatening

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Speaker 3: to call the police if it happened again.

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Speaker 1: Surprise, surprise, it happened again. After the fourth time.

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Speaker 3: I went to the police and they told him to stop,

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Speaker 3: and then he did. To this day, he hasn't driven

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Speaker 3: in my yard, thank goodness. But the story doesn't end here.

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Speaker 3: After my trouble with them, I put ring cameras up

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Speaker 3: on my property. Last month, my camera's caught something baffling.

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Speaker 3: He dumped a big box TV on my property. I

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Speaker 3: have a huge yard and a lot of land. I

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Speaker 3: even owned some woods. He has a fenced in yard

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Speaker 3: and also owns some woods.

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Speaker 1: He wrote his.

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Speaker 3: Lawnmower into my front yard, down my sideyard and into

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Speaker 3: my backyard all the way to my woods and dumped

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Speaker 3: a big box TV.

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Speaker 1: Back. Then where does this go? Also he had the

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Speaker 1: mower on engaged.

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Speaker 2: Also, Whitney Anderson says he goes through the woods to

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Speaker 2: the museum.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't even three feet into the woods.

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Speaker 3: Rather than leave it by the curb for the garbage

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Speaker 3: company to recycle for free, he had to get rid

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Speaker 3: of it on my property. The audacity naturally. I took

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Speaker 3: a picture of the TV and pulled the recordings from

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Speaker 3: my cameras and.

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Speaker 1: Took it to the police. The police are charging.

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Speaker 3: Him with littering and forcing him to remove the TV

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Speaker 3: and dispose of it properly, as well as trespassing him

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Speaker 3: from my property. He'll be hit with criminal mischief if

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Speaker 3: he sets even a foot on my property again. There

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Speaker 3: was one morning last year where I woke up to

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Speaker 3: go to work and saw about ten local police cars

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Speaker 3: and state cops all outside his house.

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Speaker 1: The people from the projects who.

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Speaker 3: Were living with him were dealing out of his house

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Speaker 3: and they were doing.

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Speaker 1: A bust on them.

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Speaker 3: Everyone but the old man was arrested, and they just

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Speaker 3: got let out of jail this month and are back

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Speaker 3: in the house. I really just need to move. It's

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Speaker 3: a shame because I live in such a nice neighborhood.

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Speaker 3: I don't think you do. Do you like a visually nice?

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Speaker 2: Well? No, not. Every dig is the pit in his

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Speaker 2: front yard.

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Speaker 3: They're next to a trap house. It's a nice neighborhood.

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Speaker 3: It's the reason I even picked the house for the location.

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Speaker 3: I've talked to my other neighbors about the bad neighbors,

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Speaker 3: and they said everything was fine before the old man's

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Speaker 3: wife passed away. Now he almost seems like he has

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Speaker 3: dementia and is being taken advantage of by some bad people.

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Speaker 3: And now I have dealers and trespassers right next door.

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Speaker 3: FML and there is an update.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you should move deeper back into the woods.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, move into those woods. You have the woods you

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Speaker 1: can move into.

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Speaker 3: About a week ago, I posted about my issues with

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Speaker 3: my neighbor driving through my yard in the past, how

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Speaker 3: I had the police tell them to stop, and how

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Speaker 3: more recently my neighbor dumped a lot TV on my property,

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Speaker 3: which was caught on my cameras and reported to the police. Yesterday,

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Speaker 3: my camera caught my neighbor leaving a hand written note

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Speaker 3: on my door that I read when I got home

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Speaker 3: from work, and I also heard from the police regarding

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Speaker 3: the TV. I'll start with the conversation I had with

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Speaker 3: the police and then leeway into the note he left

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Speaker 3: on my door. The police had been trying to reach

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Speaker 3: my neighbor by phone for the last week and had

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Speaker 3: made multiple visits to his house to tell him to

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Speaker 3: remove the TV, but he wasn't answering his phone or

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Speaker 3: the door. The officers on duty have been making routine

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Speaker 3: visits on our street to see if they could catch

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Speaker 3: him outside, and they finally did. They told him he

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Speaker 3: had to remove the TV, and he was livid.

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Speaker 1: Naturally, he tried to claim that the property wasn't mine

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Speaker 1: and that was his. It's mine.

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Speaker 3: Not sure why he thinks otherwise, considering a fence separates

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Speaker 3: our properties.

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Speaker 1: He said he could do what he wants.

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Speaker 3: The officer said whether it was mine or his was irrelevant,

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Speaker 3: as littering is littering, and you can't dispose of electric

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Speaker 3: waste by dropping it in the woods and pretending it

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Speaker 3: isn't there. The officers told him that he had to

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Speaker 3: dispose of it properly, and also told me that if

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Speaker 3: the TV isn't gone in three or four days, I

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Speaker 3: should call them again and they're going to give him

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Speaker 3: a citation for it. That conversation happened yesterday around lunchtime.

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Speaker 3: My ring camera caught him.

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Speaker 1: Leaving the note. The note said along.

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Speaker 3: The lines of I'm giving you until June first to

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Speaker 3: trim branches of a tree on your property that are

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Speaker 3: dropping leaves and twigs onto my property, or I'm filing

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Speaker 3: a civil suit against you. I am tired of picking

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Speaker 3: up the sticks and leaves dropped on my yard by

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Speaker 3: your tree. Naturally, the first thing I did was look

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Speaker 3: up my state in local laws. I also went to

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Speaker 3: the police station to notify the officers that this happened,

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Speaker 3: so they were aware of it and could make a report.

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Speaker 3: The officers at the station told me not to worry

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Speaker 3: about it. They know what he's like, and he wouldn't

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Speaker 3: actually go through with it. He's just mad that I

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Speaker 3: got him in trouble and he's taking it out on

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Speaker 3: me with any excuse he can come up with. The

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Speaker 3: officers told me it's not my responsibility to take care

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Speaker 3: of it.

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Speaker 1: Our state and local laws.

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Speaker 3: State that it's not the responsibility of the owner to

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Speaker 3: trim branches that protrude over a property line, but the

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Speaker 3: property owner that it is protruding on is allowed to

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Speaker 3: cut back the branches off of their property line.

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Speaker 1: Whether you agree with that or not is up to you.

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Speaker 3: But that's the law I both read and that the

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Speaker 3: police department informed me of.

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Speaker 2: That's the law, batman.

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Speaker 1: That's the law, Batman.

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Speaker 2: There's laws in these woods. There are laws these woods.

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Speaker 3: Any of the woods that protrude under your property are

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Speaker 3: your woods to handle.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to do anything. You do it. Here's

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Speaker 1: the thing.

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Speaker 3: The tree is healthy and not dropping any large branches

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Speaker 3: or anything of the sort. Nor does it go over

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Speaker 3: anything that would cause damage to his property. Even if

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Speaker 3: it did, insurance takes care of that. It's not my responsibility.

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Speaker 3: He's obviously but hurt about me getting him in trouble

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Speaker 3: these last few months, and is reaching it anything he

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Speaker 3: possibly can to cause trouble for me like I have

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Speaker 3: for him. Unfortunately, I'm an upstanding citizen and he has

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Speaker 3: no grounds to get me in trouble with anything. Our

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Speaker 3: police department and local government despise this man and his

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Speaker 3: residence so much that even if this somehow does go

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Speaker 3: to court, his word is nothing compared to mine. So

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Speaker 3: I'm calling his bluff and ignoring him. I know him

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Speaker 3: well enough at this point, and I'm not giving him

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Speaker 3: the attention he wants. If he had been kind about

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Speaker 3: the situation and had a respectful conversation with me about

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Speaker 3: the tree, I would have been a lot more considerate.

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Speaker 3: But he didn't even talk to me about it. Now

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Speaker 3: that he thinks he can threaten me, he can forget it.

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Speaker 3: The amount he's inconvenienced me severely outweighs leaves falling from

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Speaker 3: my tree into his yard. Maybe when he stops driving

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Speaker 3: across my yard, dumping garbage on my property and trespassing,

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Speaker 3: I'll think about whether or not to help him. I

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Speaker 3: can't believe there are people on this planet so selfish.

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Speaker 1: See my last.

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Speaker 3: Post for the details on how these people are the

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Speaker 3: scum of our community. They are rock dealing sociopaths in

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Speaker 3: the one garbage house of our nice neighborhood. I'm really

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Speaker 3: disappointed things have ended up this way because the whole

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Speaker 3: reason I even got the house was because of the neighborhood.

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Speaker 1: But I had to.

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Speaker 3: Pick the one place next door to the dealers and

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Speaker 3: trespasses again FML, I'm going to start looking for a

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Speaker 3: new place to live. I'm so thankful the police have

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Speaker 3: been so helpful and understanding of the situation, but it

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Speaker 3: seems no matter how many times I send them, and

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Speaker 3: no matter how willing they are to cause trouble for me,

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Speaker 3: this needless drama won't end until they're out of that

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Speaker 3: house or I just leave.

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Speaker 1: I keep to myself.

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Speaker 3: I'm a single, quiet guy who minds his own business

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Speaker 3: in his own house. I just want to be left alone.

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Speaker 3: It's time to start looking elsewhere, I think. Anyways, I

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Speaker 3: hope my strife has been entertaining. I'll probably have another

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Speaker 3: update after the first week of June regarding all of this.

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Speaker 3: Would you have done anything differently? Let me know if

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Speaker 3: you have any advice. Thank you, and we have a

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Speaker 3: second update.

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Speaker 2: Oh well, well, oh yeah, I would have put up

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Speaker 2: a fence or some plants, put up.

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Speaker 1: A sturdy offence. I beg if someone.

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Speaker 2: Can't be moving. If I really liked the neighborhood that much, realistically,

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Speaker 2: that singular house will change over in the next ten

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Speaker 2: to twenty years.

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Speaker 3: I would guess It's now June third, and naturally I've

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Speaker 3: done nothing about the tree. Countless conversations with other people,

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Speaker 3: including the police, as well as my own research, tell

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Speaker 3: me I'm not responsible. I haven't heard from the neighbor,

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Speaker 3: I haven't heard from anybody on his behalf, and haven't

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Speaker 3: gotten any more notes on my door or in my

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Speaker 3: mailbox or anything of the sort. It was just as

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Speaker 3: we suspected all bark no bite. He was mad about

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Speaker 3: me getting him in trouble and tried to intimidate me,

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Speaker 3: and it didn't work.

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Speaker 1: He's since removed the TV where he put it.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure. I never saw it on the curb

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Speaker 3: for the garbage or anything. For all I know, he

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Speaker 3: could have just thrown it in his own woods, but

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Speaker 3: I don't care enough to attempt to find out.

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Speaker 1: It's off my property and none of my business any more.

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Speaker 3: As a result, I also double checked with the police,

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Speaker 3: just like Santa would do with his list, to be

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Speaker 3: sure that he was trespassed for good, and they assured

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Speaker 3: me he was. Him removing the TV from my property

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Speaker 3: was the last time he or anybody in that house

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Speaker 3: was permitted to step foot on it, and he understood this.

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Speaker 3: As many commenters suggested, I went down to our local

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Speaker 3: human services building in our township and spoke to somebody

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Speaker 3: in the office of Aging. It's our version of adult

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Speaker 3: protective services. I spent an hour at their office and

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Speaker 3: made a full report on the whole situation to them,

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Speaker 3: the old man, his seemingly declined mental and physical state,

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Speaker 3: and the types of people living with him. I gave

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Speaker 3: them all the juicy details from the footage of him

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Speaker 3: struggling to climb two stairs onto my porch to leave,

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Speaker 3: the note showcasing his physical state to another time when

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Speaker 3: he chased a squirrel on his lawnmower into my yard,

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Speaker 3: showcasing his mental state. I even showed them the footage

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Speaker 3: I had from the raid on his house where the

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Speaker 3: people living with him were temporarily arrested for dealing out

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Speaker 3: of his house. I gave them the names of the

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Speaker 3: people living with him, giving to me by my buddy

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Speaker 3: in the police department who's been dealing with them for me.

264
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,040
Speaker 3: I left no detail out, no stone unturned. The woman

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Speaker 3: I spoke with submitted the report to their investigating unit,

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Speaker 3: but I said I wouldn't get an update regarding the situation.

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Speaker 3: I'm only going to hear from anybody if they ask

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Speaker 3: for more information from me. Only time will tell that

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Speaker 3: this will do any good, not only for myself, but

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Speaker 3: for the old man too.

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Speaker 1: Do you have anything to add.

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Speaker 2: I'm I think that the things will resolve better than

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Speaker 2: you are expecting them to. I don't think he's going

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Speaker 2: to keep trying.

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Speaker 5: I was just say good on you for not being

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Speaker 5: like petty, like going over his yard and any of

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Speaker 5: that stuff. You're just like, you know, I'm just the

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Speaker 5: cops deal with it because I feel like we would

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Speaker 5: get stories like that. You're like, you know, maybe we'll

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Speaker 5: make this into a fun game and good for you.

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Speaker 5: Not maybe, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm still for the pits in the yard.

283
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Speaker 1: Maybe dig a couple pits, couple pits, maybe doing a

284
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Speaker 1: dig of moat, shake your tree a little bit more.

285
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Speaker 1: Let's float on to the end of it. To summarize,

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Speaker 1: the TV is off my property.

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Speaker 3: They're officially trespassed, the legal action threats were bluffs, and

288
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Speaker 3: they haven't driven on my yard. Since I feel better

289
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Speaker 3: about everything, and I'm hoping that this is the last.

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Speaker 1: I have to deal with for the foreseeable future.

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Speaker 3: But only time will tell. Of course, should anything else happen,

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Speaker 3: I'll be quick to tell it here. But for now,

293
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Speaker 3: this will be the last time I post regarding the situation.

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Speaker 3: I also wanted to thank everybody for the suggestions made

295
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Speaker 3: on my previous posts. I wouldn't have thought to make

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Speaker 3: a report with the Office of Aging if it wasn't

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Speaker 3: for commenters. Here's hoping he gets the help he needs

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Speaker 3: and I get the peace and quiet I've been longing for.

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Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: Wow. Well, my neighbor accused me of breeding rats, so

301
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Speaker 2: I thought back.

302
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,040
Speaker 3: I fought back with my bobby of rats.

303
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Speaker 2: I've lived in the house I own with my husband

304
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Speaker 2: for twelve years. It's a terrace built in the eighteen

305
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Speaker 2: sixties with a lot of things like coal shoots and

306
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:24,360
Speaker 2: sellers that undercut other people's properties. We live near farmland

307
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,320
Speaker 2: and we're told when we bought it that rats were

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00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,800
Speaker 2: in the area and to keep a good supply of

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Speaker 2: rat wire to keep them out.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,840
Speaker 2: Yes, by the way, this comes from it. You four

312
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,600
Speaker 2: could grab ninety eight sixty one and if you want

313
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,200
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the rslage Okay

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Speaker 2: storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and.

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Speaker 2: We're here to give good advice goofy, but we don't

317
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,600
Speaker 2: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

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00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,160
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the

319
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 2: comments and Opie says, there has never been any sign

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00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,200
Speaker 2: that there have been rats in our house, but we

321
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:05,360
Speaker 2: know others have had problems. Onto the weirdness. My neighbor

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00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,480
Speaker 2: and I were on decent terms until he decided not

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Speaker 2: to be and called the council on us for having

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Speaker 2: a compost bin the water company for something that was

325
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,600
Speaker 2: found to be his fault. They ruined my fortieth birthday

326
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Speaker 2: by constantly calling, and he tried to call the police

327
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:28,240
Speaker 2: because I laughed at another neighbor calling him a bellet.

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Speaker 2: He threw a fit when we decided we would no

329
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:36,880
Speaker 2: longer communicate with him unless absolutely necessary, so he started

330
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Speaker 2: claiming to anyone who would listen that I trap and

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Speaker 2: breed rats in my greenhouse.

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Speaker 3: Yes I do, I'm trying to make them evolve at

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Speaker 3: an increased rate.

334
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Speaker 2: He loudly told an exterminator he'd called after seeing one

335
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Speaker 2: whole rat in my garden, and I was amused and appalled.

336
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,560
Speaker 2: I found out when having a casual chat with another

337
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,360
Speaker 2: neighbor at the bus stop, that he's been making these

338
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:07,160
Speaker 2: claims for over a year, and then heard it again

339
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:11,080
Speaker 2: from the man himself, telling someone else not once has

340
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,800
Speaker 2: he mentioned it to us, and he will use any

341
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,280
Speaker 2: excuse to try to get us to talk to him.

342
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:20,160
Speaker 2: The exterminator was adamant that if I was breeding and

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00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:24,280
Speaker 2: keeping rats in a three x two meter greenhouse, then

344
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,400
Speaker 2: the smell and noise would be unbearable, But the neighbor

345
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:32,240
Speaker 2: is undeterred from his delusion. His partner has been in

346
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 2: my greenhouse when I showed her my tomato plants and

347
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,920
Speaker 2: asked if she wanted the excess crop. So she has

348
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:43,200
Speaker 2: been telling him that he's delusional too. We've installed cameras

349
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,360
Speaker 2: in case he tries to take matters into his own

350
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:49,520
Speaker 2: hands to prove I am the rat queen and have

351
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:53,720
Speaker 2: been loudly talking about how ridiculous this situation is. In

352
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,000
Speaker 2: his earshot.

353
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Speaker 3: Man's gonna buy twenty rats and just release them into

354
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Speaker 3: your greenhouse.

355
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 2: I'd be like, see, say, rat queen. We know he

356
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,720
Speaker 2: has issues and has fixated on me as a malign force,

357
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,800
Speaker 2: which is another reason for the cameras. We are compiling

358
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:15,679
Speaker 2: a spreadsheet of his odd and pestering behavior over the years.

359
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,800
Speaker 2: I know I'm not breeding rats and do not fear

360
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,560
Speaker 2: anything he tries to do, but I want to tell

361
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 2: Internet strangers to get it off my chest and in

362
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,800
Speaker 2: the hopes that someone will find it amusing.

363
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,560
Speaker 1: Well he did well.

364
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,639
Speaker 3: We have found it to be a source of great amusement.

365
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,680
Speaker 2: Comments comment to one. If my neighbor told me some

366
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 2: other neighbor was breeding rats in their greenhouse, I'd laugh

367
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,879
Speaker 2: in their face. The idea is ridiculous, Opie says, no

368
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 2: one believes him, so he doubles down. We have each

369
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:53,000
Speaker 2: other's numbers and compare notes. Someone replies, my dumb butt

370
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,560
Speaker 2: would think he was legit, and I'd probably go over

371
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,920
Speaker 2: and ask them if I could play with the babies.

372
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,320
Speaker 2: Comment two. If he's on on the elderly side, I'd

373
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,399
Speaker 2: advise you to call adult protective Services or whatever the

374
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:08,159
Speaker 2: equivalent is where you are, or if possible, call around

375
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,760
Speaker 2: and see if the police can do a mental health check.

376
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:16,160
Speaker 2: That kind of fixation is dangerously and usually will develop

377
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 2: into something worse. The most horrible part is they think

378
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 2: their actions are justified and they did nothing wrong. Opie responds,

379
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,760
Speaker 2: he's under fifty and adult social care are powerless unless

380
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,680
Speaker 2: he's arrested or self surrenders. I've reported it and rely

381
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:34,199
Speaker 2: on file if things escalate. Comment three says, has he

382
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,920
Speaker 2: been seen by a health professional? Sounds like something might

383
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 2: be going wrong with his brain. Opie says, very difficult

384
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 2: to get someone seen by a mental health people in

385
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 2: the UK if they don't want to. He'd have to

386
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:50,280
Speaker 2: be arrested or considered a threat to himself and others

387
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 2: for an assessment against his will. Delusions of raperating neighbors

388
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,159
Speaker 2: don't meet the criteria if he's only talking about it.

389
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 2: Comment four downvoted why don't you do the same to him?

390
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 2: Spread some false information, put a paper in the bus

391
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,280
Speaker 2: stop saying something stupid about him. He is a crazy man,

392
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 2: after all, so you won't be inventing a lot. Really,

393
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,119
Speaker 2: I hope he says. He thrives on drama and wants

394
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 2: us to react. Laughing at him or ignoring him are

395
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,320
Speaker 2: the only things that get under his skin.

396
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:24,560
Speaker 3: Everybody, watch out. My neighbor's a big old sweetie pie.

397
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,160
Speaker 2: Hi all, I thoroughly enjoyed the comments on my last

398
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 2: post and thought i'd give you a quick update just

399
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,359
Speaker 2: to remind everyone I'm in the UK. This morning I

400
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,359
Speaker 2: got a letter from the Council's Environmental Health Department to

401
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 2: say that my garden was infested with the rats and

402
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 2: that I had to take immediate action. So I did.

403
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,400
Speaker 2: I called the extermination company to ask for a statement

404
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 2: that there are no rats in my garden or greenhouse.

405
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 2: They are happy to oblige. I spoke to my nice

406
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,919
Speaker 2: neighbors and they are all also happy to vouch that

407
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 2: they have seen no evidence of an infestation and find

408
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:03,199
Speaker 2: the rat breedings both bizarre and hilarious. I wrote a

409
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 2: very polite and detailed email to the named contact at

410
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 2: the council to say paraphrased, of course, that this is

411
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 2: the work of a colossal but and I'm considering suing

412
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 2: him for malicious complaint, intimidation and slander. Also that I

413
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 2: cannot take immediate action to remove an infestation I do

414
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,400
Speaker 2: not have and would like to know how they came

415
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,239
Speaker 2: to the conclusion that there is a problem if no

416
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,679
Speaker 2: one from the council has come to look, well, we

417
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 2: are on the council, we would look, but we're so

418
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,639
Speaker 2: scared of rats.

419
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 1: They're so scary to me.

420
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 2: We know the but next door wants to annoy us

421
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 2: into moving, but sorry, we're going nowhere. Edit. The extermination

422
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 2: company have sent the statement. I called the council, but

423
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 2: the named contact is on annual leave until after the

424
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 2: deadline I was given to contact them. Update to short

425
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 2: update to say this may go quiet for a while

426
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 2: as I have called the police and will be making

427
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 2: a statement tomorrow. I wasn't sure that this route was appropriate,

428
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 2: but I've taken some legal advice and it has reassured

429
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,360
Speaker 2: me that I need to do this to protect myself

430
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,439
Speaker 2: and my peace. I also told this story in my

431
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:20,679
Speaker 2: local and they were supportively outraged and advised that they

432
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 2: would absolutely call the police if they were in my position.

433
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 2: I've spent quite some time researching UK laws on stalking

434
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 2: and intimidation, burdens of proof, and the average person argument.

435
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 2: It basically says if an average person would be concerned

436
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 2: by this person's behavior towards them, then it meets the criteria.

437
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 2: Fascinating stuff. I'm also now half and half about whether

438
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 2: the letter from the council is legit, as it's riddled

439
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 2: with errors and inconsistencies, with extremely vague detail for key

440
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 2: points the type where the Microsoft Grammar tech would tell

441
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:58,920
Speaker 2: you off for using the passive voice. I'll find out tomorrow, though.

442
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,439
Speaker 2: If it isn't, then I'm adding fraud for the purpose

443
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 2: of causing distress to the list of complaints. Wish me luck, guys.

444
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,919
Speaker 2: It might be a while, but I'll see you on

445
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 2: the other side and maybe have that rat party. Please

446
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 2: bring your rat costumes, extra long tails, dress code and

447
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 2: a delicacy cheese from your country.

448
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 3: I do believe that was written by a bunch of

449
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: rats in a trench coat I.

450
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 2: Had that same suspicion. The neighbor has had a camera

451
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 2: installed above his front door. He is perfectly within his

452
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,199
Speaker 2: rights to do so. This has coincided with him not

453
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 2: instantly appearing in the doorway whenever I'm in the garden,

454
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 2: so it's a given that his camera is recording my garden.

455
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 2: Added this to the police complaint as something to investigate,

456
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,160
Speaker 2: but was thrilled to know that two of my other

457
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 2: neighbors have filed complaints to the council about it, as

458
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 2: it's a wide angled one and could potentially be recording

459
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 2: their kids and or seeing through their windows. Once recording

460
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 2: kids is involved, the council has to act quickly. We

461
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 2: have a blackout zone on our cameras have shown these

462
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,719
Speaker 2: to our neighbors except him, even though his garden is

463
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: the biggest blackout zone. I'm sure he'll plead that we're

464
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 2: watching him, but again, the evidence is on our side.

465
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 2: We're unsure if he wants to record to be just

466
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: an interfering knob, or if his delusions are so bad

467
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 2: that he needs to prove somehow that the rat breeding

468
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 2: really is happening. Anything he records is inadmissible if it's

469
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 2: of our property. A couple things from the comments. The

470
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 2: neighbor and his partner are not married. He refuses to

471
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 2: marry her for many reasons but are not my story

472
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 2: to tell, but are part of his control at old

473
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 2: costs agenda.

474
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: She is not a pile of rats.

475
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 2: Have we thought that? Maybe the neighbor, however, is a

476
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 2: pile of rats.

477
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: Oh, he is a pile of rats.

478
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 3: It is soh That's why he won't marry his wife,

479
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 3: because she is not a pile of.

480
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 2: Rats, and he actually wants that to be an army

481
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 2: so he can find his wife. She hates being referred

482
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,359
Speaker 2: to as girlfriend or so I will respect that the

483
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 2: council is local government and not any kind of HIA.

484
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 2: Most of the UK would consider an HOA as a

485
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 2: massive overreach and invasive to the extreme. Being told to

486
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 2: control infestations even if you don't have them is fine

487
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 2: compared to being told that your grass is zero point

488
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 2: zero zero zero zero zero six seven inches too long,

489
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 2: or that your door is the wrong shade of woodland green.

490
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 2: I know they're not all awful, but Reddit is the

491
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 2: place for horror stories. Horticulture revenge is a glorified way

492
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 2: of saying I'm planting a hedge. This hedge will be

493
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 2: a glorious array of colors and scents designed to be

494
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 2: highly attractive to insects and birds, while also being tall

495
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 2: and thorny. Fences can't be very high, but there is

496
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 2: no legal limit to plant height and no right to

497
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,719
Speaker 2: light laws. He can only prune what grows over the fence.

498
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,120
Speaker 4: Update four oh boy.

499
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,679
Speaker 2: Some have asked for an update, so here it is

500
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: apologies that it won't contain much, as he's gone pretty.

501
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 3: Quiet ah as a pile of rats deuced since.

502
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 2: The cameras were installed. He has stopped popping around for

503
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 2: a chat or loitering in places he can see us.

504
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 2: He's still annoying us by stomping around his house and

505
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 2: the occasional short blast of crappy music, but these are

506
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 2: fewer and farther apart. I know he overheard both conversations

507
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 2: I had with the police, and I think it's unsettled

508
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 2: him into not exactly being a great neighbor, but not

509
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 2: being as much of a creepy, invasive beaster. His partner

510
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 2: seems to be taking a role in managing him. Other

511
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,199
Speaker 2: neighbors have also noticed that she's around more and he

512
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 2: isn't trying to insert himself into their business as much.

513
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 2: There were a few conversations that we could hear through

514
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 2: the walls. He's very loud. That seemed to confirm this.

515
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 2: The slow horticultural revenge is going well. Spring is just

516
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,400
Speaker 2: around the corner, and my plans are starting to show

517
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 2: signs of life. I still feel the need to garden

518
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 2: when he's not around, unless I'm in the still rat

519
00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 2: free sure greenhouse, but it seems he now feels the

520
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 2: same about me. He stopped trying to take photos of

521
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 2: the greenhouse when he saw me watching him, and I

522
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 2: put a small sign up reminding him that taking pictures

523
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 2: of private property under these circumstances is illegal. Any photo

524
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 2: he took and tried to use against us would have

525
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,959
Speaker 2: this visible. I debated decorating it with a rap, but

526
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 2: decided against it. He's not happy that the bird feeders

527
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 2: are back, but can't do anything as they now have

528
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 2: reinforced waist catchers, and as his last complaint wasn't upheld,

529
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 2: He's on thin ice about this with the powers that be.

530
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 2: Someone else made a complaint about his camera, but I

531
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 2: don't know if that came to anything. As it's still there.

532
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 2: Whether it's attached to anything is another matter, as he's

533
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 2: generally inept with technology. We're planning a retractable awning for

534
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 2: the front of the house. Windows are full east, so

535
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,360
Speaker 2: the living room gets really hot in the summer, and

536
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 2: once that's installed and the plants are grown and in bloom,

537
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 2: it will cut off any view of us. I checked

538
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 2: fence planning laws and it seems nearly everyone on our

539
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 2: street is breaking them. But we need to be squeaky

540
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 2: clean or it'll be another council letter. Maybe by summer

541
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 2: he'll be back to his old ways, but he seems

542
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 2: a little chastened. You never know, maybe he's read my post,

543
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 2: recognized himself and realized that not only is he a

544
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: colossal but but that I can prove it, and I will.

545
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 2: The police case is ongoing, but as he's backed off,

546
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 2: it will just chug along in the background unless he

547
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 2: crosses the line again.

548
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 3: Upday five, Oh boy, we've got the ratskapads just keep

549
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 3: on coming.

550
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: Been a while since I updated, and a few things

551
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 2: have happened. A few weeks ago, the police got back

552
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 2: in touch to say they had reviewed the evidence and

553
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 2: we're asking if I wanted to go ahead and prosecute

554
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 2: as the baseline had been met. I thought about it

555
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 2: and decided to decline. As he's been relatively quiet, Any

556
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 2: outcome would be unlikely to get him to move, and

557
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 2: the process would be deeply unpleasant. The police assure me

558
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 2: that the case could be reopened if his behavior became

559
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 2: concerning again, and asked me to continue documenting everything and

560
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 2: call them immediately if I was concerned for my safety.

561
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 2: He overheard this conversation as he loudly complained about it

562
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,399
Speaker 2: to his son, speaking of the Sun. He's off to

563
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 2: university this year. Not just any university, but one that

564
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 2: is arduous to get to from where we live, so

565
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 2: there's no chance of his father dropping by, and no

566
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:31,479
Speaker 2: reasonable expectation of returning for casual weekends. Sun has been

567
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 2: chatting with neighbors about how he wants to get away,

568
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 2: and we, the collective neighbors, are all hoping he gets

569
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,479
Speaker 2: the grades for his chosen university and lives a happy life.

570
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Yeah, we've got a little bit less

571
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 3: me personally, I'm disappointed at the lack of rats.

572
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 2: I'm disappointed at the lack of rat jokes in the story.

573
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: As well, we provided them all.

574
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 3: We need more rats, all right. But on a real level,

575
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 3: I think what you did was pretty smart.

576
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 2: My village has a scarecrow festival, and my offering this

577
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 2: year was a human sized rat in academic robes. My

578
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: friend has a costume shop, so it was half nutcracker

579
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 2: ratking and half absolutely not Harry Potter school robes. It

580
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 2: went down well with everyone except him next door, who

581
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 2: complained not to me that I was mocking his legitimate concerns. Lastly,

582
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 2: we haven't seen or heard from him for over a week.

583
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 2: The family are around, but he isn't. He hates leaving

584
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 2: the house for more than a few hours, so it

585
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 2: must be something pretty big, but not involving his partner

586
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: and kids. He turned fifty last month, so maybe he's

587
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 2: taken himself off somewhere for a midlife crisis, including homeopathy,

588
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 2: hair transplants, and motorbikes.

589
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 4: Is I would have.

590
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 2: Leaned away more into the rats if someone was accusing

591
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 2: me of making an army of rats, But good on you.

592
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 3: I would have become number one rat fan. There'd have

593
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 3: been rat stuff wherever they could see it.

594
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 4: That is the end of that story, Sam.

595
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 2: Here we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's

596
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 2: three minutes bads from our sponsors.

597
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 3: My best friend claimed my fiance confessed feelings, but refuse

598
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 3: to show proof.

599
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: Show me the proof.

600
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 3: So I female twenty seven, have been with my fiance,

601
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 3: male twenty eight since I was seventeen. We've been together

602
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 3: for ten years. I've also been best friends with my

603
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 3: friend since we were eight. By the way, this sumsom

604
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 3: user throwaway pasta tank and if you want to submit

605
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the our SLAS showcase storytime

606
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 3: submured it. I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we

607
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 3: already give good advice goofy, but we don't have all

608
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 3: the answers. We only know what we'd do. Let us

609
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 3: know what you would do in the comments, and op

610
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 3: says generally they have gotten on fine throughout that time

611
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 3: until a few years ago. And when my friend picked

612
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 3: me up after a few drinks one night, I hadn't

613
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 3: known she was buzzed and we got in a wreck.

614
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 3: We were both fine, but he thinks she's irresponsible, so

615
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 3: he's been very formally polite to her since then.

616
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 4: That's fair, very fair, so fair.

617
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 2: That's probably nicer than most people would.

618
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: Be incredibly fair.

619
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 3: When she comes to visit me, he goes into the

620
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 3: other room to play video games or something. About two

621
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 3: weeks ago, she texted me and asked me to get

622
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: lunch with her. Places are open in our area, so

623
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 3: I met up with her. During lunch, she told me

624
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 3: that my fiance had told her he had feelings for

625
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 3: her and wanted them to be together, but she said no.

626
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: I was obviously.

627
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 3: Upset and asked when this happened, where and whether he

628
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 3: messaged her and if I could.

629
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: See the message.

630
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 3: She immediately got really angry, accusing me of not believing her,

631
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 3: even though we've been friends for so long.

632
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, she must.

633
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 3: Have been buzzed when she had this idea. Are you

634
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 3: serious you're gonna say that?

635
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 2: Like?

636
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, you thought.

637
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 3: My god, you drop that, and then you just expect

638
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: them to not be like, will show me?

639
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 5: Right?

640
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 2: You thought? You just be like, yeah, no, but you

641
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: have to believe me. I can't actually show you. You

642
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 2: just have to believe.

643
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. No. And actually, how dare you.

644
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 2: How dare you think I'm lying? How dare you not

645
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 2: lyindly believe me about as something devastating?

646
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 1: Yeah?

647
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 2: Insane.

648
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 3: I asked her to at least tell me where and

649
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 3: when this happened, even if there wasn't any proof. She

650
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 3: refused and said that if after all this time of friendship,

651
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 3: I wouldn't believe her, then she was better off with

652
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 3: being with a dirty cheater. She stormed off before the

653
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 3: food even got to the table. I went home to

654
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 3: talk to my fiance, really upset. Of course, he seemed

655
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 3: genuinely confused about the accusation from what I could tell,

656
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 3: and asked when she claimed this happened. Since he's very

657
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 3: rarely around her. The only time he ever sees her

658
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 3: is if he walks through the living room to get

659
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 3: food from the kitchen before returning to his office. He's

660
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 3: never been in the house with her alone. I admitted

661
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 3: she wouldn't tell me because she thinks I should just

662
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 3: believe her.

663
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: I brought up that he could have messaged.

664
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 3: Her, and he immediately handed me his phone, saying that

665
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 3: if looking through it would help, I should go ahead.

666
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 3: I went through the whole thing and found nothing. They're

667
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 3: not even friends on any social media. He doesn't have

668
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 3: any unusual apps or suspicious contacts. He does have her

669
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 3: number in his phone, but there are no messages to

670
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 3: or from her. He's also been working from home and

671
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 3: I do all our shopping and errand so only one

672
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 3: of us goes out. He has asthma, so he hasn't

673
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 3: been out much in the past year. We have security

674
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,479
Speaker 3: cameras at our place, so her dropping by without triggering

675
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 3: an alert is unlikely, unless he texted her and immediately

676
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 3: deleted it or coincidentally.

677
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: Ran into her.

678
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 3: With the one or two times he's been out or

679
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 3: proclaimed his love while I was in the bathroom, I

680
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 3: have no idea when this could have happened. I'm inclined

681
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 3: to believe him, considering I've been with him for ten years.

682
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 3: I can't think of when this would have occurred, and

683
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 3: she uses to tell me anything else. Our mutual friends

684
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 3: are divided. Some think it's suspect that she won't provide details,

685
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 3: while others say, as her best friend, I should believe

686
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 3: her because she has no reason to lie, whereas my

687
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 3: fiance would have a reason to lie if he had.

688
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 5: Sounds very kindergarten.

689
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 3: What so the person who to be clear, Yeah, the

690
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:29,279
Speaker 3: person who is not guilty at Allah and was just proposition,

691
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 3: has no evidence and is insulted that you want it.

692
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: That makes no sense, Dakota, it's her word. It makes

693
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 1: no sense. Huh, it makes no.

694
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 4: Sense, the friends word.

695
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 1: I don't know what.

696
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 3: To believe at this point. My friend is still completely

697
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 3: shut down on me. I called her to talk, but

698
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 3: she told me not to contact her again unless I

699
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 3: believe her, and then hung up.

700
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 2: Show me any proof, then, right, show me absolutely any proof.

701
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 1: My fiance has been completely open about everything.

702
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 3: He wonders if she is lying because she knows he

703
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 3: doesn't like her from what happened.

704
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 1: A few years ago, and is trying to break us.

705
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 2: That long to get here though, God, Opie, you just

706
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:13,919
Speaker 2: get in here.

707
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 1: We're there, We've been there.

708
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 3: Then I also wonder if he really did text her

709
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 3: and she's telling the truth but being so difficult for

710
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,240
Speaker 3: no apparent reason. I need advice on how to handle

711
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 3: this situation.

712
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 2: I certainly would be trusting my fiance right, not.

713
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 4: Husband yet, I believe so.

714
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: Yet.

715
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 2: I certainly would be trusting my fiance over a girl

716
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 2: that once lied about how much she had to drink

717
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,760
Speaker 2: that night and got us into a potentially super harmful accident.

718
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's you.

719
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 2: Don't have the best track record of being truthful.

720
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 3: So we've got a comment here from Opie great kind

721
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 3: of addressing her friend and why she could be behaving

722
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 3: this way and how things changed after the accident for sure,

723
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 3: Opie says, I can't say she acts like me or

724
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 3: anything since the accident.

725
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 1: She's brought up.

726
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 3: Him acting weird around her. She mentions how he always

727
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 3: goes to the other room and barely talks to her,

728
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 3: et cetera. When prior to the accident he would go

729
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 3: out with us and we'd all watch movies together or

730
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 3: do other things. She eventually picked up that he was

731
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 3: mad at her and has seemed bitter about it since.

732
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 1: But I thought she let it go since she.

733
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 3: Was still going to be in the wedding and I

734
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 3: still spent a lot of time with her. I hadn't

735
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 3: put any thought into her possibly having feelings for him.

736
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 3: I thought at most she was mad at him for

737
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 3: being mad at her.

738
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: Over the accident.

739
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 3: Prior to the accident, she got along well with him

740
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 3: and told me she thought he was a good guy.

741
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 3: After the accident, she'd mentioned him being grumpy, blaming her

742
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:52,399
Speaker 3: for no reason, not understanding that people make me bags, etc.

743
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 3: Since he just didn't forgive her like I did. We've

744
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 3: got comments. It really doesn't sound like your friend made

745
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 3: it up. It's that in a situation like that, when

746
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 3: she told you, you would have been shocked and wanted

747
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 3: more information. If she was telling the truth, she would

748
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 3: have done all she could to absolutely make you certain

749
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:12,439
Speaker 3: about it, because a fiance cheating is a big deal. Also,

750
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 3: what makes the story so improbable is that if he

751
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 3: doesn't even like her character, they don't talk or have

752
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 3: a good friendship. At most, all he could have wanted

753
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,920
Speaker 3: was spicy sleep with her, not told her he had

754
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 3: feelings for her. When a boyfriend sheets, it's usually because

755
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 3: of physical attraction that maybe, if it continues, can develop

756
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 3: into feelings. But I've only ever heard of a few

757
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 3: cases like this, and it was when a guy confessed

758
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 3: to a friend of ten years, rather than some random

759
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 3: girl who got my girlfriend in an accident.

760
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: Opie replies, Yeah, Like.

761
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 3: Honestly, if I'm being honest, if it happened prior to

762
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 3: the accident, I think I would have been more likely

763
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 3: to believe her since we all hung out together and

764
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 3: they both said good things about each other. Since the accident,

765
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 3: he's made it clear to me he didn't want to

766
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,839
Speaker 3: even be around her, but tolerated.

767
00:37:58,239 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: Her because I care about her.

768
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,720
Speaker 3: Part of me started questioning if he was only saying

769
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 3: all that as a cover because he had feelings. But

770
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 3: that feels like I'm just overthinking it at this point.

771
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 1: That's true.

772
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,760
Speaker 3: Oh, my great snakes, are you serious?

773
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:14,919
Speaker 4: Oh don't think that overthinking?

774
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: That would be insane.

775
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think he'd be going so far as

776
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 2: to like not be in the same room if that

777
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 2: was the case.

778
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 1: Hemme at number two. Just my thoughts on this.

779
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 3: But if she was telling you the truth, she would

780
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 3: easily give you details. The fact that she got angry

781
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,760
Speaker 3: right away and insisted you should believe her after giving

782
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 3: you news that would have been a total shock is

783
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:40,919
Speaker 3: insane to me. It sounds like she decided to lie

784
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,359
Speaker 3: and when you questioned her, she panicked and got mad.

785
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,760
Speaker 3: If I had to bet she isn't giving details because

786
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 3: it never happened. She probably knows he doesn't leave the house,

787
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 3: and you'd know if she was there, texting would leave evidence,

788
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 3: which she doesn't have, and she hasn't been in the

789
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 3: house or room alone with him for longer than forty seconds.

790
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 3: He says, honestly, that makes the most sense of this mess.

791
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 3: I don't know why she would lie, whether she had

792
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 3: feelings for him that I never knew about, or is

793
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 3: just mad at him for being mad at her. I

794
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,920
Speaker 3: guess the reason doesn't matter in how I should handle this,

795
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 3: which is true. Opie explains more about the rift caused

796
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 3: by the car accident. Opie says, we'd planned that she

797
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 3: would pick me up and i'd spend the night at

798
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 3: her place since we wanted to have a movie night

799
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 3: and a few drinks.

800
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:26,359
Speaker 1: I didn't know.

801
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 3: She'd already had a couple of drinks before getting there.

802
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 3: On the way back to her place, she suddenly veered

803
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 3: off the road and smashed into a tree. Good this

804
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 3: sound like death, sounds like wait what?

805
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god?

806
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 2: Awful.

807
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 3: Neither of us were badly hurt, luckily, but her car

808
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,720
Speaker 3: was total. People whose yard it was called the police

809
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 3: and some cars stopped check on us. He was arrested

810
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 3: for driving intoxicated, and the ambulance that showed up took

811
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 3: me to the hospital to get checked. Since I had

812
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 3: some cuts and the airbags had gone off, my fiance

813
00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 3: had to come pick me up from the hospital in

814
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 3: the middle of the night. Since then, he's made it

815
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 3: clear he doesn't want to be around her. He thinks

816
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 3: she's irresponsible and only tolerates her because I forgave her.

817
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 3: He says he can't forgive her because she could have

818
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 3: hurt us both. She thinks it isn't fair to be

819
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,280
Speaker 3: blamed for the whole thing, since the road was slippery

820
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 3: and in the end we were fine.

821
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:20,280
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

822
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 3: Well, she thinks it isn't fair to be blamed for

823
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 3: the whole thing since the road was slippery and in

824
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 3: the end we were fine, and we have an upright

825
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 3: from three days later. But what I would if I

826
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 3: were eu Opie no longer forgive your friend?

827
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is wild that you forgave her so fast

828
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 2: for that. I'm one hundred percent like I get that

829
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 2: it was her friend, So maybe there's some like past there.

830
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 2: But I'm on fiance hubby's side of like, we're not

831
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 2: getting past this if.

832
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 3: You're not willing to take a shred Yeah of accountability

833
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,879
Speaker 3: and like partial You're like.

834
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 1: Well I shouldn't have all the fault.

835
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:08,240
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Then even less reason to be out driving

836
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 2: at all.

837
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 3: I don't know that needs to be the thing your

838
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 3: friend says that needs to be the thing, oh P says,

839
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 3: not you right, you need to be going. This was

840
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 3: all my fault. I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot, Like,

841
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 3: I'll never do that again. That was so I can't

842
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 3: believe I did that. I can't well obvious, So sorry,

843
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 3: Please forgive.

844
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 2: Me, And then you can be like, it's okay because

845
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 2: we were both by just don't do it again. And

846
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 2: you still like, don't give that much trust back to that. Yeah,

847
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 2: I certainly want to be like, yeah, getting back in

848
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 2: a car.

849
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, but here's that update. Well.

850
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 3: I woke up in the mowning after the post and

851
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,400
Speaker 3: hadn't expected that many responses. I sat and read them all,

852
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 3: and it was pretty unanimous that she was lying for

853
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 3: some reason, and if she wasn't lying, she was being

854
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 3: a terrible friend for how she went about this. Some

855
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 3: comments also really made me realize how much crap my

856
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 3: fiance has had to go through because of her presence.

857
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 1: In my life.

858
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 3: So I woke him up and told him I believed

859
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,959
Speaker 3: him and apologized for letting this drag on as long

860
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 3: as I did. I took the advice of someone and

861
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 3: made a group chat minus the now ex best friend.

862
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 3: I sent them the post and just asked that they

863
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,959
Speaker 3: read it. Most of them waffled at first, until one

864
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 3: said that he had she not known either of us,

865
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 3: it would be obvious who was lying, and they all

866
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 3: agreed it was too suspect. One of them called me

867
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 3: shortly after, asking me to meet up with her to talk,

868
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 3: so I did. She's the one closest to the ex

869
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 3: best friend other than myself. She basically told me that

870
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:34,280
Speaker 3: the ex best friend had been complaining about my fiance

871
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,840
Speaker 3: for like half a year to her about how he's

872
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 3: still mad, how he must be making me spend less

873
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 3: time with her, and how I'm going to marry someone

874
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 3: who's actively trying to tear us apart as friends. She

875
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 3: was able to show me some texts where the ex

876
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 3: best friend had been saying those sorts of things, including

877
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,359
Speaker 3: one with her in the maid of honor dress and

878
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 3: a text saying my dress for the funeral of our friendship.

879
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 3: Then leading up to now now, where the ex best

880
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 3: friend was asking her if it was true, and she

881
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 3: was snapping at her through text to stop questioning her,

882
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 3: insisting it didn't matter if she was lying anyway. What

883
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 3: a wild what a wild state of mind? Like?

884
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 2: Oh, wh'rera warra, what are we doing?

885
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, you say, I I was driving under the influence

886
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 3: and got in a car accident, and now her fiance

887
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 3: doesn't like me, So I have full rights to be

888
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 3: able to break up their marriage.

889
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 2: Right because she's leaving me as a friend. Yeah, probably

890
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 2: for more than just the fact that she's marrying someone.

891
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 2: Probably because you drove her into a tree.

892
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. Gross.

893
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 3: Friend said she hadn't reached out to me earlier because

894
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 3: she thought after the wedding, the ex best friend would

895
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 3: realize it wasn't as bad as she thought it was

896
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 3: going to be. Then, when all this happened, she didn't

897
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 3: think texts were proof enough to show me and risk

898
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 3: our relationship. But the post made her feel bad for

899
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,880
Speaker 3: not showing me the messages, so she gave me some

900
00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,959
Speaker 3: of the screenshots and I went to the ex best

901
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:03,919
Speaker 3: friend's apartment myself to talk to her. Why Why why

902
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 3: do we feel the need to even do that? I

903
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:07,759
Speaker 3: guess you've been friends for a while, But it.

904
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 2: Made an honor, I guess.

905
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 4: But still she let.

906
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,319
Speaker 3: Me in and I asked if she had anything to

907
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 3: tell me before we went any further. She doubled down,

908
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 3: refusing to give me details, repeating the same stuff I

909
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 3: told her. I knew she was lying and had proof.

910
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,919
Speaker 3: I showed her the screenshots which she accused my friend

911
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 3: of photo shopping to make her look bad. Once I

912
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 3: told her I read them in person off my friend's phone,

913
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 3: she started going on about how everyone was trying to

914
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 3: tear up our friendship after the accident and how it

915
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 3: wasn't fair to her. I told her, maybe if she

916
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 3: had apologized and tried to make changes in her life

917
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 3: instead of insisting for years that it wasn't her fault

918
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 3: and then coming up with this lie, maybe none of

919
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,800
Speaker 3: that would have happened. Good for you, Op, that's exactly

920
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 3: what you should have said.

921
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 2: Yay.

922
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 3: This person is like like completely oblivious to the consequence

923
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 3: of their her own actions and decisions.

924
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 2: Oh, the road was slippery. Shut up.

925
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 3: I told her that even if she had been telling

926
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,360
Speaker 3: the truth the way she chose to tell me and

927
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 3: make this a loyalty test instead of sharing some of

928
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 3: the most devastating news of my life showed she isn't

929
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 3: a good friend. I forgave the accident because I cared

930
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 3: for her and took it as a mistake. But that

931
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 3: care doesn't go both ways. I told her not to

932
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 3: contact me again, and that I had informed the friend

933
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 3: group of everything, sent them the screenshots, and they could

934
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 3: make their own decisions about who to spend time with.

935
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 3: But I won't be seeing her again. I'll be blocking

936
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 3: her on everything, and I told her not to attempt

937
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 3: to fix this because it's unforgivable. I still feel mentally

938
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 3: and emotionally drained from all this, but there's also a

939
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 3: massive weight lifted off my shoulders. As for the wedding,

940
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 3: instead of choosing another friend in this group, I asked

941
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 3: my fiance's little sister to be my maid of honor,

942
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 3: and she is very excited. My fiance is also relieved

943
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 3: he doesn't have to deal with the ex best friend

944
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 3: anymore and says he's just happy it's all settled. As

945
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 3: for the rest of my friends, the one who showed

946
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 3: me the texts, I'm not going to stay in contact

947
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 3: with her either, since she hid all this and only

948
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 3: showed me out of guilt. The others, I guess I'll

949
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 3: see how it goes. And there's an edit about the

950
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 3: friend who told me. Maybe in time I can move

951
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 3: past it, but right now I can't really look at

952
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 3: her it's not just that she didn't tell me right away.

953
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 3: I just feel uncomfortable. I would spend time with the

954
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 3: two of them a lot, and to know there were

955
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 3: conversations about my fiance, the wedding, the relationship, and our

956
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:40,799
Speaker 3: friendship going on like that just yeah, and I kind

957
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 3: of agree, like I get that, I.

958
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 2: Get that, And I'm also like ify on that one,

959
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 2: because like if she was also dissing everything in those comments, yeah,

960
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 2: distance her. But if she fully was just kind of

961
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 2: like girl, like she's gonna marry him, like come on,

962
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,359
Speaker 2: let's like be happy for then it's like, okay, she's

963
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:00,399
Speaker 2: fighting for you little bit.

964
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:03,399
Speaker 3: If it's entertained for so long, I would assume that

965
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 3: that's not being put out.

966
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 2: I don't also, but like I'm also not like that

967
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,319
Speaker 2: warrants immediately going to the person and being like, hey,

968
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,800
Speaker 2: by the way you're made on her actually actively talks

969
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:16,240
Speaker 2: really bad about your fiance, Like that's also devastating news

970
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:16,720
Speaker 2: to deliver.

971
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: I think it.

972
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 3: Should be more of like instead of like a like

973
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 3: a tattle energy, it should be like, hey, I just

974
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 3: want to let you know, like clearly, like so and

975
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 3: so has an issue the way that she talks about

976
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 3: it's just your relationship with him.

977
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 1: She's got an issue with it.

978
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 2: So may the fact that she was like, I think

979
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 2: it'll get better once they get married, like she'll you'll

980
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,399
Speaker 2: see that things aren't bad.

981
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 4: I think she wanted to wait and just an excuse me.

982
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 2: I wouldn't count her out unless she's genuinely like if

983
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 2: things were said that were bad, bad, bad, we don't

984
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 2: need to keep her close. But if you don't want

985
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 2: to get rid of her, clearly we can keep it

986
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 2: around a little.

987
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 3: The maid of honor address photo. I'm literally next to

988
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:01,879
Speaker 3: her in the picture. Oh, she knew my fiance had

989
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,360
Speaker 3: these feelings so strongly and was my maid of honor

990
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 3: and essentially hated my partner at this point.

991
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 1: Then, when my.

992
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 3: Boyfriend told the whole friend group this situation and they

993
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 3: all came at me about not believing her, she was

994
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 3: one of the ones who said I should listen to

995
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 3: my best friend. Best friend, she knew all the stuff

996
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:22,439
Speaker 3: she had been saying and confessing to her was a lie.

997
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 3: She didn't do anything herself, but watched it all happen

998
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:30,280
Speaker 3: until she felt guilty. Yeah, right now, that just hurts

999
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 3: and I'm not sure I want her in my life.

1000
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 3: We've got a little we've got some like comments. I

1001
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 3: think here to finish it off.

1002
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 2: I mean, the problem solve.

1003
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 3: I do agree now with the added information that she

1004
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,360
Speaker 3: was the one saying to believe the friend that she

1005
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 3: already knew just hated your fiance.

1006
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, we didn't have before that.

1007
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. With that, with that on top, yeah, I think

1008
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: you can just walk away from you. This is crazy.

1009
00:48:59,480 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 1: That's crazy.

1010
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 3: It's like, I don't know a facilitator. There's there's times

1011
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 3: where people like in a group will like not jive

1012
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 3: and you can go like, hey, so and so feels

1013
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 3: whatever type of way about so and so. You know,

1014
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 3: maybe let's get ahead of that. Let's let's address that.

1015
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 3: Maybe we you know, in this separate group chat. Hey,

1016
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 3: not even not even a separate group chat, just an

1017
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 3: actual just text her. Yeah, she's got mad beef with

1018
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 3: your husband.

1019
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, to be comment one.

1020
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 3: I get why you feel the way you do. I've

1021
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 3: been where you are right now, but whatever you do.

1022
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 1: Don't shoot the messenger. She could have reached out sooner.

1023
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, No, I disagree with this because of the

1024
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 3: I disagree with this because she told she told you

1025
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 3: to agree with her. Could she reached out sooner, Yes,

1026
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 3: of course, but when she realized how serious the situation

1027
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,439
Speaker 3: actually was, she reached out to you.

1028
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 1: No, I disagree.

1029
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,879
Speaker 3: I'm not even doing this because this is before the edit. Yes,

1030
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 3: that's before the edit. I'm gonna go to comment to

1031
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 3: what did x bestie say when confronted with the irrefutable truth?

1032
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:11,440
Speaker 3: Did she admit to lying or try to continue the charade?

1033
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 3: Opie says she admitted it once I told her I

1034
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 3: saw the messages on the other friend's phone directly, and

1035
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 3: tried to blame the reason for her doing it on

1036
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 3: people trying to wreck our friendship. Maybe look in the mirror, buddy,

1037
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 3: you're the one turning the ship directly into the giant iceberg,

1038
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:31,920
Speaker 3: and the iceberg is made out of all your decisions.

1039
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:32,760
Speaker 2: Dang.

1040
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 3: Comment three, Think about how difficult it must be to

1041
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 3: be the friend that showed you.

1042
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 1: Okay, stop it. No, that's all before the edit. That

1043
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: is the end. That is the end of that story.

1044
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, do not forgive that friend she actively tried to

1045
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 3: conspire in the.

1046
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 2: Lot because it's also like, you know that that friend's

1047
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,239
Speaker 2: probably going to remain friends with the one that you're

1048
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 2: cutting off. So do you really even want that drama

1049
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 2: of like the back and forth between her and the

1050
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 2: other friend and her and you, and she's gonna keep

1051
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 2: trying stuff. She'll probably eventually sabotage the one with you

1052
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 2: and that friend anyway, the ex friend, I mean, too many,

1053
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:09,240
Speaker 2: too confused.

1054
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,320
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1055
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 1: on to the next one. Hey is John og host.

1056
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,319
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

1057
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 3: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

1058
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:20,959
Speaker 2: I didn't ask my childhood friend to be my bridesmaid.

1059
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 2: Now she thinks I'm terrible.

1060
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:25,399
Speaker 3: Will you aren't decaus I ever ready may have wanted

1061
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 3: to be your private thing it.

1062
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 2: We're best friend. I twenty six female, am engaged to

1063
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:36,479
Speaker 2: my fiance, twenty seven male. We've been together almost ten

1064
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 2: years and are getting married this summer at my grandparents'

1065
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 2: home since they have this space and it saves us

1066
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,399
Speaker 2: a ton of money. By the way, this comes from

1067
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 2: International p Twenty eight sixty three, and if you want

1068
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the rslage Okay

1069
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 2: storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're

1070
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,839
Speaker 2: here to give good advice. Goofuley, but we don't have

1071
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we would do.

1072
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:02,840
Speaker 2: Is let us know what you would do in the comments.

1073
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 2: An Opie says, Now for the issue, I have a

1074
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 2: childhood friend. We'll call her Bethany, twenty five female. Our

1075
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,799
Speaker 2: families have known each other forever, but I have never

1076
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: been a big fan of Bethany, and I don't think

1077
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 2: she's ever really liked me either. I'll try to give

1078
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 2: a few background details to paint a better picture. Growing up,

1079
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 2: she was usually loud and exaggerated, and I was a

1080
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 2: bit more shy and reserved. She would tell everyone that

1081
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 2: I was bullying her because I wouldn't hang out with

1082
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 2: her during our family get togethers. This didn't really become

1083
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 2: anything as we were so young, but it always made

1084
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 2: me feel bad and guilty, and she would never forget

1085
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 2: to remind me of how awful I was as a child.

1086
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 2: Looking back, I really don't think I ever did anything

1087
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 2: to her, and my brother agrees with me, but maybe

1088
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 2: we are biased and have poor memories. Regardless, I have

1089
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 2: apologized so many times for how I made her feel

1090
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 2: when we were kids. I think this guilt is why

1091
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 2: I've tried to keep her as a friend despite the below.

1092
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 2: Bethany always said she hated my cousin Lily, who is

1093
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 2: the same age as me and who I was extremely

1094
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 2: close with as a kid. As adults, she still makes

1095
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,799
Speaker 2: snarky comments about her to me, which I just don't

1096
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 2: get and I roll my eyes before moving on to

1097
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 2: another topic of discussion. She's the type of girl to

1098
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 2: always put other girls down when she's around guys. It

1099
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:31,760
Speaker 2: was constant, and obviously about the male gaze.

1100
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,799
Speaker 1: Is that the pick me is that pick me, pick me,

1101
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,759
Speaker 1: pick me, don't pick up pick me.

1102
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 2: She did it to me and to any girl she

1103
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 2: seemed threatened by, but we would just let it roll

1104
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 2: off our shoulders to avoid stirring the pot. She's also

1105
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 2: always had a huge crush on my older brother twenty

1106
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 2: eight mal. When he got together with my best friend

1107
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 2: Amelia in college, Bethany immediately started being a butt hat

1108
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 2: to Amelia, snarky comment, disrespect, and this habit of becoming

1109
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 2: physically aggressive with my brother, even though he's made it

1110
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,400
Speaker 2: very clear he doesn't like it. One night, she was

1111
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,920
Speaker 2: grabbing him and being weirdly aggressive, and after he pushed

1112
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 2: her off. She went up to Amelia and said something like, gosh,

1113
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 2: his arms just feel so good when he tries to

1114
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 2: fight back.

1115
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 1: Ah, excuse me. I hate that so much about that.

1116
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 3: I hate so much about that sentence you chose to say.

1117
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 2: That's where I stop her and say what ross and

1118
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 2: disrespectful towards both of them as adults. I distanced myself

1119
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,400
Speaker 2: from Bethany because I didn't want the negativity or drama.

1120
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 2: She remained close friends with my twin brother, twenty six male,

1121
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:45,399
Speaker 2: who is so I still saw her semi often. Three

1122
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 2: to four years ago, she moved across the country and

1123
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 2: now we rarely talk occasionally tech set. Most when she visits,

1124
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 2: we see her for maybe twenty minutes. Last winter, she

1125
00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:59,240
Speaker 2: visited after my brother invited her to stay the weekend,

1126
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 2: and she field a random stranger on a gondola that

1127
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:06,560
Speaker 2: she's only friends with me, yes, literally pointing at me

1128
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 2: because of my ski house. Completely unprompted, this poor stranger

1129
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 2: awkwardly laughed before Bethany started talking about something else. I

1130
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 2: didn't comment because I hate awkward confrontation, but I definitely

1131
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 2: thought it was odd and rude. When I got engaged,

1132
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,960
Speaker 2: I knew Amelia would be my maid of honor, and

1133
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 2: that Lily and four other close friends, including my fiance's sister,

1134
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 2: would be my bridesmaids. I went back and forth for

1135
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:40,240
Speaker 2: literally two months about whether to ask Bethany, just because

1136
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:43,399
Speaker 2: of our history and because I didn't want to hurt

1137
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 2: her feelings by not asking her. Everyone close to me, fiance, brothers,

1138
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:51,719
Speaker 2: friends said those were not good enough reasons, and that

1139
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 2: if I didn't really want her to be a bridesmaid,

1140
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 2: that was a okay. We are simply not close anymore,

1141
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 2: so I didn't ask her. My mom throw us an

1142
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 2: engagement party with a strict max of fifty people. My

1143
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,840
Speaker 2: huge family, who all lived nearby, filled most of that,

1144
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,400
Speaker 2: so it ended up being just the wedding party and family.

1145
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:16,760
Speaker 2: Tons of close friends didn't make the list. Bethany didn't

1146
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 2: even come home for her own brother's engagement party the

1147
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 2: month before, so I didn't invite her. Bethany eventually asked

1148
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 2: if we were having an engagement party. I told her yes,

1149
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,759
Speaker 2: gave her all the details, and warmly invited her if

1150
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:32,760
Speaker 2: she'd be in town. She even joked about how funny

1151
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:35,360
Speaker 2: it would be if she came home from my engagement

1152
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:39,240
Speaker 2: party and not her brothers. She didn't come. A week later,

1153
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 2: she texted me, I understand not picking me as a bridesmaid,

1154
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:44,359
Speaker 2: but I just feel like it would have been nice

1155
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 2: to have gotten a heads up that all of our

1156
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 2: friends were except me. On top of that, I wasn't

1157
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:53,280
Speaker 2: even invited to your engagement party. I'm really hurt fromheses,

1158
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,840
Speaker 2: not mad, my heart sank. I thanked her for sharing

1159
00:56:56,880 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 2: her feelings, apologized and explained the bridal party numbers and

1160
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 2: the engagement party's capacity limit. I'll admit I wasn't brutally

1161
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 2: honest about the actual state of our friendship because I

1162
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:10,800
Speaker 2: didn't feel the need to hurt her more. I really

1163
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:13,240
Speaker 2: don't think being honest would help her, and it would

1164
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 2: just be hurtful, so I excuse the decision as keeping

1165
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 2: the wedding parties even. She replied, I just wish you

1166
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 2: gave me some respect with a heads up and had

1167
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 2: this convo with me before I read it on a website.

1168
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 2: I just thought our history should have warranted that. This

1169
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 2: annoyed me a bit. I genuinely don't think it's normal

1170
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 2: to have formal conversations telling friends that you aren't asking

1171
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 2: them to be bridesmaids. I have friends I'm closer with

1172
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 2: who weren't offended at all. I apologized again and left

1173
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 2: it there. Then one of my bridesmaids told me that

1174
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:52,560
Speaker 2: Bethany called her out of the blue and said, if

1175
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 2: I'm not a bridesmaid, I don't think I can come

1176
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 2: to the wedding because I don't know where I would stay,

1177
00:57:57,400 --> 00:58:01,200
Speaker 2: which shocked me because being a bridesmaid doesn't entitle anyone

1178
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 2: to stay at my grandparents' house. My huge family fills

1179
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:08,480
Speaker 2: their home with everyone already doubling up on beds and

1180
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 2: air mattresses. I also picked out probably twenty places in

1181
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,960
Speaker 2: the area that are all different price ranges for guests

1182
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 2: to look at on my website, and got a discount

1183
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 2: at the most convenient hotel nearby. I'm just a bit

1184
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 2: shocked she would say she might not even come if

1185
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 2: she's not a bridesmaid. My twin brother told me Bethany

1186
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 2: has been messaging him, and it seems like she's really

1187
00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 2: only upset about not being included and feeling embarrassed that

1188
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 2: she's not part of the bridal party, not the state

1189
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,440
Speaker 2: of our relationship. I know I haven't been honest with

1190
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 2: her about how I feel. But we have obviously drifted

1191
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 2: apart over the years, and that happens with friendships. It

1192
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:49,920
Speaker 2: doesn't mean we're not friends or won't be in each

1193
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 2: other's lives. I just can't help but imagine myself in

1194
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 2: her shoes. I do feel bad for my decision, but

1195
00:58:56,960 --> 00:59:00,160
Speaker 2: I could never imagine expecting a heads up about something

1196
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:03,480
Speaker 2: like this kind of an odd situation that I'm just

1197
00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 2: looking for some outside perspective on because I'm not sure.

1198
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:10,320
Speaker 2: I'm just living in an echo chamber. So am I

1199
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 2: the a hole for not asking her to be a

1200
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:15,320
Speaker 2: bridesmaid and not giving her a heads up? Even though

1201
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 2: we aren't close and her behavior over the years made

1202
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 2: the decision pretty clear to me? Should I be more

1203
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 2: honest with how I really feel? We have some comments, yeah, don't.

1204
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:29,320
Speaker 3: Don't you Guys all like make letters to everyone you

1205
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 3: know and have ever like been even relatively close with,

1206
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 3: just like, hey, heads up, yea, let you know you're

1207
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 3: not part of my bridal party.

1208
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 2: Personally, I write handwritten notes every year with the status

1209
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:43,280
Speaker 2: update and a new ranking.

1210
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I hand deliver them, deliver, I hand

1211
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:48,200
Speaker 3: deliver that.

1212
00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:50,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still snailmailing them out.

1213
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, pony express.

1214
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 2: No, you do not owe anybody to be like by

1215
00:59:57,320 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 2: the way, I'm not going to ask you to be

1216
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 2: my bride mad because you're obviously not close. She literally said,

1217
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:06,400
Speaker 2: I'm only friends with her because she has a ski house.

1218
01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 1: Hah hahd crazy.

1219
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got some comments. Comment one, you aren't obligated

1220
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 2: to make someone you're not close to a bridesmaid just

1221
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 2: so you don't hurt their feelings, and you aren't obligated

1222
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:23,440
Speaker 2: to give her an explanation either. You already apologized for

1223
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:26,600
Speaker 2: making her feel that way. Let it go. She's trying

1224
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 2: to extort her way onto the bridal party with her

1225
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 2: idle threat. Now just let it be. If she does

1226
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 2: go to your wedding, she will one hundred percent do

1227
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 2: or say something to make it uncomfortable for you and others,

1228
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 2: there by trying to make herself the victim as to

1229
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:46,920
Speaker 2: why she was in a bridesmaid. She's doing you a

1230
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 2: favor by not going. In fact, if she does keep

1231
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 2: up her behind the scenes behavior, I'd reach out and

1232
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 2: tell her exactly why she is not on the bridal

1233
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 2: party and end it. She's not a real friend, she's

1234
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:02,480
Speaker 2: an acquaintance that has been difficult at best your whole life.

1235
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,960
Speaker 2: Not the a hole comment to not the a hole,

1236
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 2: But why are you still tolerating her pushing you around

1237
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 2: and making snide comments. If you don't enjoy her company,

1238
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:15,680
Speaker 2: why do you tolerate it? You're an adult now, and

1239
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 2: the great thing about being an adult if you don't

1240
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:21,440
Speaker 2: want to deal with a person, especially a bully like her,

1241
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 2: you don't have to stop letting her push you down,

1242
01:01:25,280 --> 01:01:28,120
Speaker 2: block her, and realize that once you stand up for yourself,

1243
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 2: you will feel a weight lift from your shoulders. Opie responds,

1244
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 2: you're so right. Honestly, I needed to read all of

1245
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 2: these comments saying this.

1246
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 3: I think I would. You know, I would do that thing,

1247
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 3: that comment that said, yeah, you should just send her

1248
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 3: the message telling her why she's not your bride'smaid. I

1249
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 3: would just do that, regardless if she keeps up her

1250
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 3: behavior or not.

1251
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 1: I'd be like, Hey, I just want to make it clear.

1252
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:55,000
Speaker 3: Uh, this weird crap you're doing right now is exactly

1253
01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:56,640
Speaker 3: why you're not my bride'smaid.

1254
01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 2: Hey, we're not gonna go messaging and calling the other

1255
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 2: bridesmaids because you're upset that you didn't get to be one.

1256
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:03,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's weird.

1257
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 3: Hey remember that time when you said you are only

1258
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 3: friends with me because I'm as squi house like you

1259
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:10,120
Speaker 3: kind of are.

1260
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 2: My bridesmaids are friends with me for more than just

1261
01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:16,600
Speaker 2: my ski house, So I guess that's what cuts you out. Yeah.

1262
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I'm friends with anyone where I can't tell

1263
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 3: if they meant that or not.

1264
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 1: You're not my bridesmaid.

1265
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 2: Crazy. We have an update, Thome. Thank you for all

1266
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,560
Speaker 2: the advice and comments. As for those of you saying

1267
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:35,920
Speaker 2: I need to grow up and stop being her friend,

1268
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:38,479
Speaker 2: I have left a lot of details out that would

1269
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 2: probably lead to some more compassion, as Bethany does not

1270
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 2: have the easiest home and family life, but that doesn't

1271
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:49,360
Speaker 2: mean she can treat others like this. I appreciate everything

1272
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 2: you have all said and will definitely stop feeling the

1273
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:54,600
Speaker 2: need to allow her to treat me or the people

1274
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 2: I care about like this. I really needed to hear

1275
01:02:57,640 --> 01:03:01,600
Speaker 2: the harsh truth and brutal honesty you guys shared. Thank you.

1276
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 2: That is the end of that story. Wow wow wow.

1277
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:06,720
Speaker 1: Wow wee zowie.

1278
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, stop being your friend.