WEBVTT - Amara's Checklist in the Pursuit of Love 0:00:02.200 --> 0:00:03.600 That's right, that's right. 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:07.120 Welcome to this show, my show. 0:00:07.400 --> 0:00:09.719 I am your girl, Amada la Nigra, and you're listening 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:13.520 to exactly Amada, a production of iHeart. Thank you so 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:16.320 much for tuning in. I'm working on my girls, you know, 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:18.760 Lasworldtwins dot Com, their clothing line. 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:20.880 I am working on new TV shows. 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:24.680 I am working on my children's book and my girls 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:25.560 children's book. 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:28.920 I am doing so many things right now that like, 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:31.479 I am very excited to see where my life goes. 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:33.920 And I'm also I recently just auditioned for a movie, 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:37.720 Fingers Crossed. If that hits two this year is gonna 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:38.960 be real juicy. 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:43.480 But with that being said, I still don't have a man. 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:47.879 I haven't been able to like really find someone like 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.800 I think dating it's fine. You know, you meet different people, 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:53.960 you go out, you know, Tonight's dinners, you hang out, 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:56.360 you have someone you know while. 0:00:56.160 --> 0:00:58.680 You're getting to know each other, text you. 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:01.600 The okay morning and they send you the emojis and 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:05.560 they sayd you, and I love that journey. I'm not 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.240 obviously ready because I've already spoken about on the show 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:11.360 to physically give myself like that to anyone yet and 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:14.320 for those that are new listening, you know, I haven't 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:16.800 had sex in a year now, you know, basically since 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:19.080 I had my girls, and I'm okay with that. 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:19.880 It doesn't bother me. 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:21.080 I feel like a lot of people are like, oh 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:23.240 my god, you need to like and I'm like, no, 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:26.520 I'm okay. I made myself so busy working. I've been 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.600 so caught up raising my daughters. I've been so caught 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:31.480 up doing so many things that I've been fine in 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:32.000 this space. 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:33.000 But I'm not gonna lie. 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:37.480 I do miss getting cuddled. I do miss the partnership. 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:40.199 I miss all the build up, you know, before the sex, 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:42.760 because either the sex can make the relationship or it 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:45.240 can tear it apart, like things sometimes can be so 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:48.040 great before it happens and after it happens trash, or 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:51.200 it actually makes you guys, you know, tighter. But it's 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:54.200 been really hard for me to find someone, and I 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:56.880 don't know. I feel like if I talk to Alex, 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:59.680 maybe Alex can help me get it together. And I 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:02.000 want to talk about things to consider really when it 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:05.640 comes to finding the right partner after you become a mother, 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:10.000 you know, especially if you are you know, a single parent, 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:13.400 you know, as a single mom, finding the right person 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:17.480 today has become even more, you know, more difficult. 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:20.000 And I'm over here reading on social media as we're. 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:22.360 Talking, how people don't believe I always talk about it, 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:25.280 how people don't believe you know that I had become celibate. 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:29.000 I think that that's okay, and especially now as I am, 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:32.720 you know, pressing reset on my dating life and I'm 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:35.320 in the process of actually trying to find someone that 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:39.160 can be a good partner, a good role model for 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:43.040 my children. All these are the things that is really 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:45.200 important to me. But as a single mom right now, 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:47.680 it gets a little bit difficult. So that's why I 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:50.959 have my friend producer Alex with me today. 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:53.760 Alee, we're gonna have to make this. You know, it's 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:57.720 been a while since we've we've spoken close to this subject. 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:00.320 You know, we've danced around it. You've given us your 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:04.520 thoughts on finding someone, some things that you like. But 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:07.639 there's something that I understand here is that you're having 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:08.840 a difficult time. 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:10.280 No finding the right one. 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:11.960 So I'm going to make this into a dating show 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:13.840 style episode today. 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:17.280 It's really hard. I've gone on a few dates and 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:20.040 here's my thing, So I have to be honest. One 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:24.720 thing is what people see on reality TV, right, mm hmm. 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.000 One thing is what people see on you know, this 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:28.360 show that I'm in. 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:29.919 And you've gone viral for. 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:33.040 Which I've gone viral for, and you know I can't 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.960 say that one hundred percent is true, Right, there's a 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:38.880 mix because no matter what it is, you know I 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:42.000 do a TV show that it's an entertainment show, right, 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:46.280 So you have to give enough content for people to 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:50.640 be satisfied. And sometimes you may zoom in and expand 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:53.360 things more than what they really are. But when it 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:56.160 comes to my personal life, I've never been a fan. 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:57.600 To exposing too many things. 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:01.520 I made the mistake of exposing my last two, like 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:06.040 serious relationships, and I realized that I shouldn't have because 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:08.400 if I hadn't, maybe those would have worked. 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:11.440 Because I learned that if you really really love. 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:13.880 Someone and you really are trying to protect someone and 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:17.400 the person you love, you don't expose them, and you 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:20.200 don't expose all the details of your personal life because 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:23.320 it makes people feel as if they can give opinions 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:25.679 and accuse and point and do all these other things 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:28.279 that you may not realize, but it does. 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:29.599 Put pressure in your relationship. 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:32.680 So with that being said, dating has become very difficult 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:37.360 for me now. And I am shy. You know, I 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:40.280 am a little shy. I have a really big personality. 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:43.080 But when it comes to dating or meeting people, if 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:49.080 you don't approach me, I don't really know how Really, Yeah. 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:50.960 Are you one of those I feel yes, I am 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:51.640 a lady. 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:53.760 I know like I would be the one to stay 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:56.440 in the corner and give you like the clinklink clink clinkling. 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.160 If you don't get it, I will walk all the 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.600 way around the club by the bathroom, would come back 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.680 around wink wink, and if you don't get it, okay, 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:05.760 I'm gonna sit my hands down. 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:06.200 That's it. 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:08.400 Because I feel like if a man really wants you, 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:10.839 he will approach you, he'll comfort you. If you're the 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:14.479 one chasing, you already know is a rap because when 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:17.039 a man wants something, a man's natural nature is to 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:20.640 be a hunter. He likes to hunt, he likes to 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:24.000 feel that he you know, I want this, this is 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:27.640 my prize. If you're the one chasing, mama, you already 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:29.320 know Okay, that's gonna go down the hill. 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:30.040 That's not gonna work. 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:32.720 So wow, in a million years, I would have thought 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:35.039 that you would have been like, you know what, there's 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:38.000 my prey. I want him. I'm well, you're gonna. 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:41.479 Go like that like on riah, I'm like that on 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:43.800 like dating apps, right because I think that's what we 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:46.760 both have to do. But in person, if you're not 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:49.880 giving me that type of energy, I will only approach 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:52.839 you or maybe be almost simbodia if I feel that 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:57.080 there's something there, but if not. I was raised very traditional, 0:05:57.560 --> 0:05:59.560 and I even though that I'm from this era and 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:02.520 I'm very much more open minded, I still keep a 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:04.839 little bit of what my mom, you know, taught me. 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:06.960 I wish I would I wish I would have kept 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:08.760 all of it, because then I would have fucked up. 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:12.440 But then me trying to be oh I'm independent, I 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:13.000 can't do it. 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:14.280 Then I fund it up. 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:17.479 But they're they are lessons learn. 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:19.120 They have been lessons. 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:22.440 But with that being said, now dating has changed for 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:25.280 me because it's like I am a mother. I am 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:27.839 a mother, and before before it was just about me. 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:30.720 Now as first them than me. You know, I need 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:33.040 to update someone or find someone that can be a 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.919 good role model for my daughters. Do you like children? 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:39.719 Do you have children? Do you understand that my children 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:43.120 are my priority? Unfortunately, as much as I may like you, 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:45.839 my daughters come first. If you are willing to be 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:49.560 part of this combination, I am down for it, you know, 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:52.840 I am down for it to be us. But I 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:56.200 can't put a man above my children. So if you're 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.520 okay with that, cool boom. 0:06:58.240 --> 0:06:58.560 Let's do it. 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.919 And I am very respectful as well. You have children 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:03.200 and we're dating and you have to go pick up 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.440 your son for your daughter from school, or you got 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:08.320 to go to a recitalor you. I respect that, you know. 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:11.480 I think that it's very important to understand those boundaries. 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.360 Here's another one. My mother. My mother has been my 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:17.640 writer dies since the day she gave birth to me. 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:20.160 And I know that it's hard for a lot of 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:23.240 men to be stuck on La suegra Buy one, get 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:25.720 three free. You have my mom and my daughters, and 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:29.080 that's my humbo. You know, everybody comes, I guess with 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:31.560 their baggage, even though I don't consider them baggage. They're 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:32.040 part of me. 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:35.040 But that's that, and it's just so much more than 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:35.960 there's my career. 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:37.800 You know, I am a. 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:41.200 Successful independent woman. I don't want to be independent anymore. 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:43.320 Come take care of me. I want to go back 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:44.920 to the old ways where I going to stay home 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:48.520 and raise with children. That's me even though I'm still 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:50.760 a boss. Like I'm a boss and I could be 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:52.080 at home and still. 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:52.760 Make that money. 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:58.000 Right, I'm very homebodied, So being home, you know, with 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:01.000 my daughters and doing you know, activit with my girls 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:04.080 while my husband is working and making sure everything's nice, 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.040 and you know, doing the vacations. 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:06.840 On the comfort of life. 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:09.560 I am down for that part of it. 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.400 You know. At this point in my life, I would 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:14.320 love to not maybe one hundred percent, but I would 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:15.560 love to be able to enjoy that. I have that 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:16.160 as an option. 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:18.040 But I am a hard working mom. 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:20.960 You know. I have a lot of responsibilities besides my 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:24.280 daughters and my mom and my father and this person 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:28.040 in my employees, from all my last World Twins Empire. 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:31.280 All my airbnbs and real estate investments. 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.640 I have all those things. I have many people that 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:36.240 depend on me, like if I don't work, they can't 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:39.520 feed their families, right, So it's a lot of pressure. 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:42.480 I consistently push myself to work one hundred percent, which 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:46.599 sometimes also puts pressure in my relationship because. 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:48.599 You want to go on a day, you want to 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:49.560 hang out, you want to do this. 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:52.400 I'm tired at the cansa, Like, there's a lot of 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:55.079 things I need to get together in order to feel 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:56.000 like I could date again. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:07.360 And that's where this episode will come in for your mom. Today, 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:10.839 we're gonna consider We're gonna have the top ten things 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:14.000 to consider in finding that right partner for you. I 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:16.680 will be the dating host, you know, like those game shows. Yeah, 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:19.360 the host comes out and you're looking for for the 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:21.679 right person. And we have written down a couple of 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:24.079 things here that we think are very important. 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:25.040 And here's another thing. 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:28.160 Because I'm also reading here while we're talking, people are like, 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:30.040 you know, well then don't did and this and that? 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:33.880 But and I and here comes the sex part again. 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:37.520 Everybody's over there asking. But I'm like, how important is 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:39.760 sex when you're dating someone? 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:42.320 And here's why I believe that. 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:46.640 Back in the days, I loved when men had to 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:49.640 you know, they would wish and dream of the day 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:51.320 that they got to pop kiss you in front of 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:53.640 the door before leaving you at your house. You know, 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:56.160 I love the handwritten letters and I know it's kind 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:58.199 of Warny. I love the little notes, just remember a 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:01.040 little notice sticking to my car, dumb stuff, you know. 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.000 I love all those things. The build up is the 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:06.800 beautiful part of me. I feel like, just the the 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:09.000 eagerness of like okay, I'll let you put your hand 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:10.400 in my thigh just a little bit like, oh no, 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:11.120 that's too much. 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:14.880 Just I like the chase. I like all that. 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:17.400 I just feel like these days and I respect all 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:19.320 the people that just go ahead and they're free and 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:21.439 they and they accept their sexuality and they do them 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:22.080 and that's fine. 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:22.840 I'm not judging you. 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:24.600 I'm just talking about my personal experience. 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:29.640 The chase is gone, chase me going. That part is gone. 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:32.080 And that was the good part that like tarn I 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:34.600 can't wait to see her tomorrow, like damn it, you know, 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.800 or send me a sexy picture, just a little cute 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:41.400 build up to it. Now it's more like boom, I smashed. 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:43.960 By the way, what's your name? No, I want to 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:46.680 build it, especially now where I am in my life. 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:49.839 I can't just be fucking around and giving my ass 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:51.679 to everyone like it's just for you know. 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:54.439 No, not to mention that. By the way, if you 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:55.000 want to date me. 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:57.280 First thing you have to do is send this NDA. 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.160 I don't play no games like that. Every man that 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.280 dates me, after you know the father of my children, 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:04.640 you have to sign an NDA. 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:06.920 I do not trust nobody no more. 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:10.000 You know, I don't trust that you can take pictures, videos, 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:15.560 lead conversations nothing. I will sue you for every penny 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:17.280 you have because you've got to hit them where it hurts, 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:21.040 and it's in their pockets. So, oh, do I have 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:22.040 problems or what? 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:26.280 No, you are fine. No, you've already you've already taken 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:27.240 a lot of it out. 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:29.680 Let's go one by one for those that didn't get it. 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.040 So, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna elaborate a little bit 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:34.560 of this. You already did. Someone who is accepting and 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:37.439 supported over with children. That's something that's the number one 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.439 thing you have on your list, and you already spoke 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:42.400 about it, so that's very very important. I see that 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:45.520 you also want someone who is responsible and reliable, which 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:47.720 is something you already talked about, because you yourself have 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:49.560 a lot of responsible and people. 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:53.640 Really, somebody who's responsible and reliable and be responsible also 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:55.000 means paying these bills. 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.680 Don't pay me, come can't you pay my bills? Can't 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:01.320 you pay them a telephone bill? No, then you're out here. 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:03.920 I'm not expecting you to maintain you one hundred percent, 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:06.559 but that's part of the responsibility. You can't think that 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:08.400 you're gonna come here and eat my cookie up and 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:11.360 stretch me out and then you're going to go somewhere. No, no, 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:13.160 no no no. If you're if you want to be 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:16.480 with me, you have to understand I also have responsibilities, 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:19.280 and now I'm going to take away from my responsibilities 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.480 and time to cater to you, right and to give 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:26.040 you my toat and my time and my nursery and 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:28.760 my wisdom. Suh. 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:30.559 We have to compromise. 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:37.360 Next, someone who has similar values and priorities as you, Boom. 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:41.240 I mean that one is a must because you are 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:43.839 involved in a lot of businesses. You have a very 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:48.439 entrepreneur mindset, so you would definitely want someone who has 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:49.800 thus high priorities. 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:51.760 As you want to come high priorities, similar values. I 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:54.079 agree one hundred percent. A man who has a bad 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:58.080 relationship with his mother, red black, red flag. When a 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:00.280 man doesn't care about his mother, when he is like, 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:02.480 oh screw her, this and that or I don't care 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:06.480 to pay attention. She gave birth to him, she raised him, 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:09.120 she fed him every single day of his life. She 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.640 taught him how to walk, she cleaned his diapers, she 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:14.240 put on his uniform to go. She did. She gave 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.880 so much of her life to this person, and he 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:20.440 treats her that way. No, So that's an automatic moving 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.120 forward now that I know better canceled. So to me, 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.920 it is like someone that has good family values is 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:29.960 important to me. Someone who understands, you know, loyalty and respect. 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.760 And when I mean loyalty and respect, I mean if 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:35.920 you respect me enough, you won't purposely hurt me, you 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:39.120 won't do things that is gonna disrespect me, and you know, 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:41.880 damage our relationship or what we're building. So there's many 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:43.880 things to it, and as far as priorities as well. 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:47.040 I'm a very ambitious person. I'm gonna go get her. 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:49.640 I'm driven. I could be tired as hell and I'll 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:51.840 still get my ass up to accomplash the mission. 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:55.320 So you can be lazy. 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:58.120 I like a man that I can admire, like when 0:13:58.120 --> 0:13:59.800 I'm tired, I see begas his ass. 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:01.120 I can't let him down. 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:02.800 I can't be a bad like I got to be 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:05.600 an example, a mirror of my husband or of the 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:14.000 person that I'm dating. I have a very strong personality 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:16.600 and a very strong character. I don't want to lead 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:20.120 my man. I can for certain situations, but in order 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.960 for a man to be able to be a good leader, 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:24.600 he needs to be emotionally stable. He needs to know 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:28.960 how to be coheartened when he has to know emotionally 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:32.400 like detached this, I care about this, But the right 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:34.440 move to do is this, and this is how we're 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:37.760 gonna move for X and why reasons like if I 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:39.760 feel that I am the man that I can do 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:41.480 up and what the hell do I need you? 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.880 I want to need you. I want to so being 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:46.280 able to be especially. 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:50.479 Women women, we can be very hormonal right in many occasions, 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:53.760 and we need somebody that can stabilize us. Right, we're 0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:56.880 all over the place. Oh he bring it down, bring 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:59.040 it together. So, yes, you definitely want to be able 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:01.400 to have a man that can emotionally be you know, 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:03.360 stable and be there for you. 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:04.320 Sure. 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:07.000 And I don't agree or disagree with the hormonal COmON 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:09.200 because I don't want anyone coming after me. The next 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:11.200 one that I have is well, this is a big 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.720 one for you because you've also spoken about it. Someone 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:17.560 who has a good relationship with their own family, like 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:20.520 you just mentioned the mom deal, that's big because the 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:23.280 way that they treat those that they're supposed to love 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:25.120 tell us a lot about how they're going to treat you. 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:27.440 Yeah for sure, Yeah, yeah, you have to have good 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:29.880 family values and I never really cared about that, so 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:34.800 my last real relationship. And if they don't have a 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:38.600 good relationship with their family, not just their mother, you 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.400 can't expect to create this beautiful, you know, home, this 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:44.240 beautiful family with them because they don't understand the meaning 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:46.360 of it. And at the same time, they have to 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.200 want it. And I'm going to say this, I was 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.440 raised by a single mother. I never knew what it 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:53.480 was to have a family. That's why I want to 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:56.000 have a family. I am eager to have a family. 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.400 I protect the aspect of having a family because I've 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.400 never had and I want it. So if you find 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.640 someone that you're dating, in my case, I want to 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:06.640 find someone who wants a home. 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:10.960 Who wants a family, who wants to build together. Not 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:12.240 every man wants that. 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:15.320 And by the way, women, when a man tells you 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:18.800 what he wants, can you pay attention and listen, stop 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:19.400 trying to. 0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:21.600 They get in there. That's what he's saying. 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.880 He said what he said, and he meant it. If 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:27.000 he said I just want to have a good time, 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:30.960 I'm just vibing. I'm just chilling. I'm just figuring it out, 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:34.240 you know, I'm just going with the flow. He said 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.320 what he said because a man knows how to be intentional. 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:40.240 If he says, I am looking to settle down, I 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:43.080 am looking for a relationship, I am looking for a wife, 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.880 I'm looking to get married, I'm looking whatever it is. 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.240 When he says what it is, pay attention, listen. 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.760 The next one, here's someone who is open to communication 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:55.560 and compromise. Another big one, like all these are hitting 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:58.240 exactly what you want. I love it you are and 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:01.200 what you want communication and compromise. What do you think 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:01.640 about that? 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:02.840 Communication is key? 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:05.520 You know what, before I blame myself, I don't think 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:08.360 that I was very good at communicating because I am 0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:10.960 a liber and part of being a Libra or just 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:15.040 my personality over all, I'm very pleasing. I like to please. 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:18.280 I want you to be happy with me. I think 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:21.280 that also comes from daddy issues. I want to be accepted, 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.160 so I am always looking to do things that can 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:27.760 make you happy. That sometimes means putting my own feelings 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:31.080 in the back burner and not explaining or communicating how 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:35.440 I feel about things, and not communicating being quiet makes 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:39.159 me frustrated, and getting frustrated then makes me angry, And 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.639 then it's like, it's not his fault that you're angry 0:17:41.640 --> 0:17:44.040 because you didn't tell him what you wanted because you 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.000 don't want to make him feel bad. Maybe if you 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.080 would have said it, he wasn't gonna feel bad. He 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:50.880 would have been like, oh okay. But because sometimes as 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:55.360 women overthink too much, we get ourselves all worked up 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:59.560 for nothing. So moving forward, at this point, at this 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:05.320 place my life, I am willing to communicate better and 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:08.960 say exactly what I want, what I feel, be very 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:12.239 upfront with Sometimes being a front s can be, you know, 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.119 a little bit like you're doing too much, But I 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:16.720 think that that's important. I think it's important to communicate 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.400 properly on both sides, and I want somebody. 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:21.240