Speaker 1: That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2: Welcome to this show, my show.
Speaker 1: I am your girl, Amada la Nigra, and you're listening
Speaker 1: to exactly Amada, a production of iHeart. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for tuning in. I'm working on my girls, you know,
Speaker 1: Lasworldtwins dot Com, their clothing line.
Speaker 2: I am working on new TV shows.
Speaker 1: I am working on my children's book and my girls
Speaker 1: children's book.
Speaker 2: I am doing so many things right now that like,
Speaker 2: I am very excited to see where my life goes.
Speaker 1: And I'm also I recently just auditioned for a movie,
Speaker 1: Fingers Crossed. If that hits two this year is gonna
Speaker 1: be real juicy.
Speaker 2: But with that being said, I still don't have a man.
Speaker 1: I haven't been able to like really find someone like
Speaker 1: I think dating it's fine. You know, you meet different people,
Speaker 1: you go out, you know, Tonight's dinners, you hang out,
Speaker 1: you have someone you know while.
Speaker 2: You're getting to know each other, text you.
Speaker 1: The okay morning and they send you the emojis and
Speaker 1: they sayd you, and I love that journey. I'm not
Speaker 1: obviously ready because I've already spoken about on the show
Speaker 1: to physically give myself like that to anyone yet and
Speaker 1: for those that are new listening, you know, I haven't
Speaker 1: had sex in a year now, you know, basically since
Speaker 1: I had my girls, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2: It doesn't bother me.
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people are like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you need to like and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm okay. I made myself so busy working. I've been
Speaker 1: so caught up raising my daughters. I've been so caught
Speaker 1: up doing so many things that I've been fine in
Speaker 1: this space.
Speaker 2: But I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I do miss getting cuddled. I do miss the partnership.
Speaker 1: I miss all the build up, you know, before the sex,
Speaker 1: because either the sex can make the relationship or it
Speaker 1: can tear it apart, like things sometimes can be so
Speaker 1: great before it happens and after it happens trash, or
Speaker 1: it actually makes you guys, you know, tighter. But it's
Speaker 1: been really hard for me to find someone, and I
Speaker 1: don't know. I feel like if I talk to Alex,
Speaker 1: maybe Alex can help me get it together. And I
Speaker 1: want to talk about things to consider really when it
Speaker 1: comes to finding the right partner after you become a mother,
Speaker 1: you know, especially if you are you know, a single parent,
Speaker 1: you know, as a single mom, finding the right person
Speaker 1: today has become even more, you know, more difficult.
Speaker 2: And I'm over here reading on social media as we're.
Speaker 1: Talking, how people don't believe I always talk about it,
Speaker 1: how people don't believe you know that I had become celibate.
Speaker 1: I think that that's okay, and especially now as I am,
Speaker 1: you know, pressing reset on my dating life and I'm
Speaker 1: in the process of actually trying to find someone that
Speaker 1: can be a good partner, a good role model for
Speaker 1: my children. All these are the things that is really
Speaker 1: important to me. But as a single mom right now,
Speaker 1: it gets a little bit difficult. So that's why I
Speaker 1: have my friend producer Alex with me today.
Speaker 3: Alee, we're gonna have to make this. You know, it's
Speaker 3: been a while since we've we've spoken close to this subject.
Speaker 3: You know, we've danced around it. You've given us your
Speaker 3: thoughts on finding someone, some things that you like. But
Speaker 3: there's something that I understand here is that you're having
Speaker 3: a difficult time.
Speaker 1: No finding the right one.
Speaker 3: So I'm going to make this into a dating show
Speaker 3: style episode today.
Speaker 1: It's really hard. I've gone on a few dates and
Speaker 1: here's my thing, So I have to be honest. One
Speaker 1: thing is what people see on reality TV, right, mm hmm.
Speaker 2: One thing is what people see on you know, this
Speaker 2: show that I'm in.
Speaker 3: And you've gone viral for.
Speaker 1: Which I've gone viral for, and you know I can't
Speaker 1: say that one hundred percent is true, Right, there's a
Speaker 1: mix because no matter what it is, you know I
Speaker 1: do a TV show that it's an entertainment show, right,
Speaker 1: So you have to give enough content for people to
Speaker 1: be satisfied. And sometimes you may zoom in and expand
Speaker 1: things more than what they really are. But when it
Speaker 1: comes to my personal life, I've never been a fan.
Speaker 2: To exposing too many things.
Speaker 1: I made the mistake of exposing my last two, like
Speaker 1: serious relationships, and I realized that I shouldn't have because
Speaker 1: if I hadn't, maybe those would have worked.
Speaker 2: Because I learned that if you really really love.
Speaker 1: Someone and you really are trying to protect someone and
Speaker 1: the person you love, you don't expose them, and you
Speaker 1: don't expose all the details of your personal life because
Speaker 1: it makes people feel as if they can give opinions
Speaker 1: and accuse and point and do all these other things
Speaker 1: that you may not realize, but it does.
Speaker 2: Put pressure in your relationship.
Speaker 1: So with that being said, dating has become very difficult
Speaker 1: for me now. And I am shy. You know, I
Speaker 1: am a little shy. I have a really big personality.
Speaker 1: But when it comes to dating or meeting people, if
Speaker 1: you don't approach me, I don't really know how Really, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Are you one of those I feel yes, I am
Speaker 2: a lady.
Speaker 1: I know like I would be the one to stay
Speaker 1: in the corner and give you like the clinklink clink clinkling.
Speaker 1: If you don't get it, I will walk all the
Speaker 1: way around the club by the bathroom, would come back
Speaker 1: around wink wink, and if you don't get it, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit my hands down.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: Because I feel like if a man really wants you,
Speaker 1: he will approach you, he'll comfort you. If you're the
Speaker 1: one chasing, you already know is a rap because when
Speaker 1: a man wants something, a man's natural nature is to
Speaker 1: be a hunter. He likes to hunt, he likes to
Speaker 1: feel that he you know, I want this, this is
Speaker 1: my prize. If you're the one chasing, mama, you already
Speaker 1: know Okay, that's gonna go down the hill.
Speaker 2: That's not gonna work.
Speaker 3: So wow, in a million years, I would have thought
Speaker 3: that you would have been like, you know what, there's
Speaker 3: my prey. I want him. I'm well, you're gonna.
Speaker 1: Go like that like on riah, I'm like that on
Speaker 1: like dating apps, right because I think that's what we
Speaker 1: both have to do. But in person, if you're not
Speaker 1: giving me that type of energy, I will only approach
Speaker 1: you or maybe be almost simbodia if I feel that
Speaker 1: there's something there, but if not. I was raised very traditional,
Speaker 1: and I even though that I'm from this era and
Speaker 1: I'm very much more open minded, I still keep a
Speaker 1: little bit of what my mom, you know, taught me.
Speaker 1: I wish I would I wish I would have kept
Speaker 1: all of it, because then I would have fucked up.
Speaker 1: But then me trying to be oh I'm independent, I
Speaker 1: can't do it.
Speaker 2: Then I fund it up.
Speaker 3: But they're they are lessons learn.
Speaker 2: They have been lessons.
Speaker 1: But with that being said, now dating has changed for
Speaker 1: me because it's like I am a mother. I am
Speaker 1: a mother, and before before it was just about me.
Speaker 1: Now as first them than me. You know, I need
Speaker 1: to update someone or find someone that can be a
Speaker 1: good role model for my daughters. Do you like children?
Speaker 1: Do you have children? Do you understand that my children
Speaker 1: are my priority? Unfortunately, as much as I may like you,
Speaker 1: my daughters come first. If you are willing to be
Speaker 1: part of this combination, I am down for it, you know,
Speaker 1: I am down for it to be us. But I
Speaker 1: can't put a man above my children. So if you're
Speaker 1: okay with that, cool boom.
Speaker 2: Let's do it.
Speaker 1: And I am very respectful as well. You have children
Speaker 1: and we're dating and you have to go pick up
Speaker 1: your son for your daughter from school, or you got
Speaker 1: to go to a recitalor you. I respect that, you know.
Speaker 1: I think that it's very important to understand those boundaries.
Speaker 1: Here's another one. My mother. My mother has been my
Speaker 1: writer dies since the day she gave birth to me.
Speaker 1: And I know that it's hard for a lot of
Speaker 1: men to be stuck on La suegra Buy one, get
Speaker 1: three free. You have my mom and my daughters, and
Speaker 1: that's my humbo. You know, everybody comes, I guess with
Speaker 1: their baggage, even though I don't consider them baggage. They're
Speaker 1: part of me.
Speaker 2: But that's that, and it's just so much more than
Speaker 2: there's my career.
Speaker 1: You know, I am a.
Speaker 2: Successful independent woman. I don't want to be independent anymore.
Speaker 1: Come take care of me. I want to go back
Speaker 1: to the old ways where I going to stay home
Speaker 1: and raise with children. That's me even though I'm still
Speaker 1: a boss. Like I'm a boss and I could be
Speaker 1: at home and still.
Speaker 2: Make that money.
Speaker 1: Right, I'm very homebodied, So being home, you know, with
Speaker 1: my daughters and doing you know, activit with my girls
Speaker 1: while my husband is working and making sure everything's nice,
Speaker 1: and you know, doing the vacations.
Speaker 3: On the comfort of life.
Speaker 2: I am down for that part of it.
Speaker 1: You know. At this point in my life, I would
Speaker 1: love to not maybe one hundred percent, but I would
Speaker 1: love to be able to enjoy that. I have that
Speaker 1: as an option.
Speaker 2: But I am a hard working mom.
Speaker 1: You know. I have a lot of responsibilities besides my
Speaker 1: daughters and my mom and my father and this person
Speaker 1: in my employees, from all my last World Twins Empire.
Speaker 2: All my airbnbs and real estate investments.
Speaker 1: I have all those things. I have many people that
Speaker 1: depend on me, like if I don't work, they can't
Speaker 1: feed their families, right, So it's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1: I consistently push myself to work one hundred percent, which
Speaker 1: sometimes also puts pressure in my relationship because.
Speaker 2: You want to go on a day, you want to
Speaker 2: hang out, you want to do this.
Speaker 1: I'm tired at the cansa, Like, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: things I need to get together in order to feel
Speaker 1: like I could date again.
Speaker 3: And that's where this episode will come in for your mom. Today,
Speaker 3: we're gonna consider We're gonna have the top ten things
Speaker 3: to consider in finding that right partner for you. I
Speaker 3: will be the dating host, you know, like those game shows. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the host comes out and you're looking for for the
Speaker 3: right person. And we have written down a couple of
Speaker 3: things here that we think are very important.
Speaker 2: And here's another thing.
Speaker 1: Because I'm also reading here while we're talking, people are like,
Speaker 1: you know, well then don't did and this and that?
Speaker 1: But and I and here comes the sex part again.
Speaker 1: Everybody's over there asking. But I'm like, how important is
Speaker 1: sex when you're dating someone?
Speaker 2: And here's why I believe that.
Speaker 1: Back in the days, I loved when men had to
Speaker 1: you know, they would wish and dream of the day
Speaker 1: that they got to pop kiss you in front of
Speaker 1: the door before leaving you at your house. You know,
Speaker 1: I love the handwritten letters and I know it's kind
Speaker 1: of Warny. I love the little notes, just remember a
Speaker 1: little notice sticking to my car, dumb stuff, you know.
Speaker 1: I love all those things. The build up is the
Speaker 1: beautiful part of me. I feel like, just the the
Speaker 1: eagerness of like okay, I'll let you put your hand
Speaker 1: in my thigh just a little bit like, oh no,
Speaker 1: that's too much.
Speaker 2: Just I like the chase. I like all that.
Speaker 1: I just feel like these days and I respect all
Speaker 1: the people that just go ahead and they're free and
Speaker 1: they and they accept their sexuality and they do them
Speaker 1: and that's fine.
Speaker 2: I'm not judging you.
Speaker 1: I'm just talking about my personal experience.
Speaker 2: The chase is gone, chase me going. That part is gone.
Speaker 1: And that was the good part that like tarn I
Speaker 1: can't wait to see her tomorrow, like damn it, you know,
Speaker 1: or send me a sexy picture, just a little cute
Speaker 1: build up to it. Now it's more like boom, I smashed.
Speaker 1: By the way, what's your name? No, I want to
Speaker 1: build it, especially now where I am in my life.
Speaker 1: I can't just be fucking around and giving my ass
Speaker 1: to everyone like it's just for you know.
Speaker 2: No, not to mention that. By the way, if you
Speaker 2: want to date me.
Speaker 1: First thing you have to do is send this NDA.
Speaker 1: I don't play no games like that. Every man that
Speaker 1: dates me, after you know the father of my children,
Speaker 1: you have to sign an NDA.
Speaker 2: I do not trust nobody no more.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't trust that you can take pictures, videos,
Speaker 1: lead conversations nothing. I will sue you for every penny
Speaker 1: you have because you've got to hit them where it hurts,
Speaker 1: and it's in their pockets. So, oh, do I have
Speaker 1: problems or what?
Speaker 3: No, you are fine. No, you've already you've already taken
Speaker 3: a lot of it out.
Speaker 2: Let's go one by one for those that didn't get it.
Speaker 3: So, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna elaborate a little bit
Speaker 3: of this. You already did. Someone who is accepting and
Speaker 3: supported over with children. That's something that's the number one
Speaker 3: thing you have on your list, and you already spoke
Speaker 3: about it, so that's very very important. I see that
Speaker 3: you also want someone who is responsible and reliable, which
Speaker 3: is something you already talked about, because you yourself have
Speaker 3: a lot of responsible and people.
Speaker 1: Really, somebody who's responsible and reliable and be responsible also
Speaker 1: means paying these bills.
Speaker 2: Don't pay me, come can't you pay my bills? Can't
Speaker 2: you pay them a telephone bill? No, then you're out here.
Speaker 1: I'm not expecting you to maintain you one hundred percent,
Speaker 1: but that's part of the responsibility. You can't think that
Speaker 1: you're gonna come here and eat my cookie up and
Speaker 1: stretch me out and then you're going to go somewhere. No, no,
Speaker 1: no no no. If you're if you want to be
Speaker 1: with me, you have to understand I also have responsibilities,
Speaker 1: and now I'm going to take away from my responsibilities
Speaker 1: and time to cater to you, right and to give
Speaker 1: you my toat and my time and my nursery and
Speaker 1: my wisdom. Suh.
Speaker 2: We have to compromise.
Speaker 3: Next, someone who has similar values and priorities as you, Boom.
Speaker 3: I mean that one is a must because you are
Speaker 3: involved in a lot of businesses. You have a very
Speaker 3: entrepreneur mindset, so you would definitely want someone who has
Speaker 3: thus high priorities.
Speaker 1: As you want to come high priorities, similar values. I
Speaker 1: agree one hundred percent. A man who has a bad
Speaker 1: relationship with his mother, red black, red flag. When a
Speaker 1: man doesn't care about his mother, when he is like,
Speaker 1: oh screw her, this and that or I don't care
Speaker 1: to pay attention. She gave birth to him, she raised him,
Speaker 1: she fed him every single day of his life. She
Speaker 1: taught him how to walk, she cleaned his diapers, she
Speaker 1: put on his uniform to go. She did. She gave
Speaker 1: so much of her life to this person, and he
Speaker 1: treats her that way. No, So that's an automatic moving
Speaker 1: forward now that I know better canceled. So to me,
Speaker 1: it is like someone that has good family values is
Speaker 1: important to me. Someone who understands, you know, loyalty and respect.
Speaker 1: And when I mean loyalty and respect, I mean if
Speaker 1: you respect me enough, you won't purposely hurt me, you
Speaker 1: won't do things that is gonna disrespect me, and you know,
Speaker 1: damage our relationship or what we're building. So there's many
Speaker 1: things to it, and as far as priorities as well.
Speaker 1: I'm a very ambitious person. I'm gonna go get her.
Speaker 1: I'm driven. I could be tired as hell and I'll
Speaker 1: still get my ass up to accomplash the mission.
Speaker 2: So you can be lazy.
Speaker 1: I like a man that I can admire, like when
Speaker 1: I'm tired, I see begas his ass.
Speaker 2: I can't let him down.
Speaker 1: I can't be a bad like I got to be
Speaker 1: an example, a mirror of my husband or of the
Speaker 1: person that I'm dating. I have a very strong personality
Speaker 1: and a very strong character. I don't want to lead
Speaker 1: my man. I can for certain situations, but in order
Speaker 1: for a man to be able to be a good leader,
Speaker 1: he needs to be emotionally stable. He needs to know
Speaker 1: how to be coheartened when he has to know emotionally
Speaker 1: like detached this, I care about this, But the right
Speaker 1: move to do is this, and this is how we're
Speaker 1: gonna move for X and why reasons like if I
Speaker 1: feel that I am the man that I can do
Speaker 1: up and what the hell do I need you?
Speaker 2: I want to need you. I want to so being
Speaker 2: able to be especially.
Speaker 1: Women women, we can be very hormonal right in many occasions,
Speaker 1: and we need somebody that can stabilize us. Right, we're
Speaker 1: all over the place. Oh he bring it down, bring
Speaker 1: it together. So, yes, you definitely want to be able
Speaker 1: to have a man that can emotionally be you know,
Speaker 1: stable and be there for you.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 3: And I don't agree or disagree with the hormonal COmON
Speaker 3: because I don't want anyone coming after me. The next
Speaker 3: one that I have is well, this is a big
Speaker 3: one for you because you've also spoken about it. Someone
Speaker 3: who has a good relationship with their own family, like
Speaker 3: you just mentioned the mom deal, that's big because the
Speaker 3: way that they treat those that they're supposed to love
Speaker 3: tell us a lot about how they're going to treat you.
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure, Yeah, yeah, you have to have good
Speaker 1: family values and I never really cared about that, so
Speaker 1: my last real relationship. And if they don't have a
Speaker 1: good relationship with their family, not just their mother, you
Speaker 1: can't expect to create this beautiful, you know, home, this
Speaker 1: beautiful family with them because they don't understand the meaning
Speaker 1: of it. And at the same time, they have to
Speaker 1: want it. And I'm going to say this, I was
Speaker 1: raised by a single mother. I never knew what it
Speaker 1: was to have a family. That's why I want to
Speaker 1: have a family. I am eager to have a family.
Speaker 1: I protect the aspect of having a family because I've
Speaker 1: never had and I want it. So if you find
Speaker 1: someone that you're dating, in my case, I want to
Speaker 1: find someone who wants a home.
Speaker 2: Who wants a family, who wants to build together. Not
Speaker 2: every man wants that.
Speaker 1: And by the way, women, when a man tells you
Speaker 1: what he wants, can you pay attention and listen, stop
Speaker 1: trying to.
Speaker 2: They get in there. That's what he's saying.
Speaker 1: He said what he said, and he meant it. If
Speaker 1: he said I just want to have a good time,
Speaker 1: I'm just vibing. I'm just chilling. I'm just figuring it out,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just going with the flow. He said
Speaker 1: what he said because a man knows how to be intentional.
Speaker 1: If he says, I am looking to settle down, I
Speaker 1: am looking for a relationship, I am looking for a wife,
Speaker 1: I'm looking to get married, I'm looking whatever it is.
Speaker 1: When he says what it is, pay attention, listen.
Speaker 3: The next one, here's someone who is open to communication
Speaker 3: and compromise. Another big one, like all these are hitting
Speaker 3: exactly what you want. I love it you are and
Speaker 3: what you want communication and compromise. What do you think
Speaker 3: about that?
Speaker 2: Communication is key?
Speaker 1: You know what, before I blame myself, I don't think
Speaker 1: that I was very good at communicating because I am
Speaker 1: a liber and part of being a Libra or just
Speaker 1: my personality over all, I'm very pleasing. I like to please.
Speaker 1: I want you to be happy with me. I think
Speaker 1: that also comes from daddy issues. I want to be accepted,
Speaker 1: so I am always looking to do things that can
Speaker 1: make you happy. That sometimes means putting my own feelings
Speaker 1: in the back burner and not explaining or communicating how
Speaker 1: I feel about things, and not communicating being quiet makes
Speaker 1: me frustrated, and getting frustrated then makes me angry, And
Speaker 1: then it's like, it's not his fault that you're angry
Speaker 1: because you didn't tell him what you wanted because you
Speaker 1: don't want to make him feel bad. Maybe if you
Speaker 1: would have said it, he wasn't gonna feel bad. He
Speaker 1: would have been like, oh okay. But because sometimes as
Speaker 1: women overthink too much, we get ourselves all worked up
Speaker 1: for nothing. So moving forward, at this point, at this
Speaker 1: place my life, I am willing to communicate better and
Speaker 1: say exactly what I want, what I feel, be very
Speaker 1: upfront with Sometimes being a front s can be, you know,
Speaker 1: a little bit like you're doing too much, But I
Speaker 1: think that that's important. I think it's important to communicate
Speaker 1: properly on both sides, and I want somebody.
Speaker 2: Who also can do the same nicely.
Speaker 1: I think that it's all about the delivery, no matter
Speaker 1: what you have to say, don't disrespect me or talk
Speaker 1: to me funny in front of the people. Wait till
Speaker 1: we get in the car, wait till we get to
Speaker 1: the house, and you can be like Mina, I don't
Speaker 1: like when you do this, da da da, or can you.
Speaker 2: Do it this way? I think it's all about the delivery, Alex,
Speaker 2: how do you do it? Don't you think that's a way?
Speaker 2: Like maybe I don't. How do you tell your significant other?
Speaker 3: I think it's just a simple you know. And sometimes
Speaker 3: guys think that maybe they're not heard or maybe they're
Speaker 3: asking too much. But if I think exactly what you said,
Speaker 3: I believe communicating what you want without making it seem
Speaker 3: like you know, you're whining or blaming whining. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: like you're not. You're not. You just told me. Make
Speaker 3: sure you tell me what is that you're like what
Speaker 3: you want, because that is a way for both of
Speaker 3: us to compromise, communicate and talk situation that might be happening.
Speaker 3: Another one here is someone who is stable and again
Speaker 3: you just mentioned this with a job or a career.
Speaker 3: They don't have to have a nine to five, right,
Speaker 3: but they have to have some type of drive correct, No.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no. Ladies don't do it so you
Speaker 2: do as you please.
Speaker 1: For my girlfriends, I'm gonna be like, listen, at this
Speaker 1: point in your life, it depends where you're at. If
Speaker 1: you are you know, you're young, and you feel like
Speaker 1: you're still on experiment and explore and do those things.
Speaker 2: That's fine once you pass your thirties.
Speaker 1: Once you get to the thirties, the thirty fives, the
Speaker 1: forty forty five, and you don't get time to be
Speaker 1: playing around. You need to know exactly what you want,
Speaker 1: how you want it, and this is what it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So financially, if you're not there, I don't think you
Speaker 1: should be dating.
Speaker 2: That's me.
Speaker 1: I think that you need to be focusing all your
Speaker 1: energy and becoming the best version of you, focusing on
Speaker 1: you because you know that if you date someone, especially
Speaker 1: a woman, a heypmence or depends. You know, men, I
Speaker 1: think that they know how far they can go. Right
Speaker 1: if you know that, you like, you see a woman
Speaker 1: that's walking Lubaton Gucci.
Speaker 2: This is that product, all type the crazy.
Speaker 1: So she's eating all bougie on her social media and
Speaker 1: lobster every day. Please know that she may be cool
Speaker 1: enough to go have McDonald's with you one day, but
Speaker 1: you know the standard. Do you believe in that that
Speaker 1: financially men and women need to know what type of
Speaker 1: people to date or No.
Speaker 3: I've never really looked at it that way. I mean
Speaker 3: I don't. I've always been either the person who has
Speaker 3: made a lot more and I've been in situations where
Speaker 3: I definitely have not, and I still bring something to
Speaker 3: the But I think.
Speaker 2: That social media also messes that up.
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm saying it because I see a
Speaker 1: lot of women that are like, whether it's sure or not,
Speaker 1: you sell this lifestyle that you live right and you
Speaker 1: want today men that can give you this lifestyle, And
Speaker 1: you see these men working their ass off to provide
Speaker 1: things that they know they can't afford, to try to
Speaker 1: have a woman that they know they can't afford. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you could just have your you know, average girl that's
Speaker 1: a really good woman, and financially, you.
Speaker 2: Guys make sense together.
Speaker 1: But today someone that she's fine as hell with a
Speaker 1: birken bag traveling on a private jet. You know, you
Speaker 1: know your budget does not hate that, So why are
Speaker 1: you even entertaining it?
Speaker 2: Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've seen yes, But I've seen the guys I've
Speaker 4: seen the guys spend their last time on women that
Speaker 4: do not deserve it because they're only there to take
Speaker 4: from you, right, And you know that she don't love it,
Speaker 4: You know that there's no future there, but you're so
Speaker 4: caught up wanting to this fantasy.
Speaker 1: Wake up, right, And then I'm saying it for me
Speaker 1: because I've been I've liked men, and I've been with
Speaker 1: men that financially didn't have it like that, and I
Speaker 1: just like who they were, whether because I was physically
Speaker 1: attracted or the way that they treated me. But at
Speaker 1: the long run, it never works out. And it's sorry
Speaker 1: to say that, but that's the world that we live
Speaker 1: in its reality. Because if I can do for myself
Speaker 1: and you can't do for me in any shape, way
Speaker 1: or form, at some point, maybe not at the beginning,
Speaker 1: maybe not a year, two years from maybe three years whatever,
Speaker 1: at some point you're going to start to feel the
Speaker 1: weight of you.
Speaker 3: Know, yeah, crushing you, shifting all that.
Speaker 2: Good shifting is shifting.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're almost done here. The next one that I
Speaker 3: have here is someone who is willing to take things
Speaker 3: slow and get to know you and your children. Right,
Speaker 3: that's I'm assuming that's extremely important to you, because you
Speaker 3: know what I'm jumping in here just for no apparent reason,
Speaker 3: try to use you. You This is we're talking about
Speaker 3: stable relationship here people you know the right partner, and
Speaker 3: I believe that that's something extremely important for you that
Speaker 3: you have mentioned in the past.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, I definitely moving forward in my life.
Speaker 1: And I've been very honest, I've been very vocal, I've
Speaker 1: been very blunt. I think that the biggest blessing in
Speaker 1: my life was the father of my children. And I'm
Speaker 1: going to say it because one he gave me my daughters,
Speaker 1: but he also taught me so many lessons in so
Speaker 1: little time, and I became a different person after him.
Speaker 2: I learned many things.
Speaker 1: I suffered a lot, but those tears became wisdom and
Speaker 1: I am grateful for them because moving forward, I know
Speaker 1: now not to move so fast. You know, you can't
Speaker 1: let small little things it blind you from reality.
Speaker 2: Take your time. What's the rush?
Speaker 1: And I know that there is some rush because time, relationship,
Speaker 1: you're getting older. I get those things. But if you
Speaker 1: want to build a mansion, you need a solid foundation, right,
Speaker 1: really strong foundation, and you build that with time, getting
Speaker 1: to know each other.
Speaker 2: I want to see you at your worst moment.
Speaker 1: How do you act when you're angry? How do you
Speaker 1: act when you're broke? How do you act when you're happy.
Speaker 1: I want to see if you were to have a
Speaker 1: lot of money, you're going to gamble. I want to
Speaker 1: see all the aspects of you before I can say
Speaker 1: you and I are a thing.
Speaker 2: You and I are getting to know each other.
Speaker 1: We're gonna date for a really long time, so I
Speaker 1: feel like, okay, I feel strongly enough to say that
Speaker 1: you and I are partners in life. But in the meantime,
Speaker 1: let's just.
Speaker 3: Date and hopefully once you get to that safe point
Speaker 3: that you think it's the right time to introduce them
Speaker 3: to your children, that they are also take it slow there,
Speaker 3: because you know it's something that you have to gradually,
Speaker 3: you know, bring bring into not only their life. You
Speaker 3: got to, you know, make sure that they're ready for
Speaker 3: that too. Once that time you feel inside that time is.
Speaker 1: My girls are little right now, and you know, I
Speaker 1: feel like they don't know no different, they don't know
Speaker 1: no better. But eventually, I'm not dating or bringing anybody
Speaker 1: into my house like that either, And I'm very respectful
Speaker 1: of that because my mother was very very respectful me
Speaker 1: ever seeing her with different men or moving that way.
Speaker 2: So I won't do that with my daughters. However, I
Speaker 2: do want.
Speaker 1: To do the right thing, which is to take my
Speaker 1: time find the right partner before I decide to present them.
Speaker 1: I don't want them to I don't want them to
Speaker 1: go your way, you know, start liking this person and
Speaker 1: the next thing you know, they're gone, and then someone new,
Speaker 1: and then they're gone. I don't want to mess up
Speaker 1: my girls, and I don't want them to see me
Speaker 1: in a different light.
Speaker 2: So I will be respect that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and this one ties in with the last one.
Speaker 3: Someone who is willing to be obviously flexible and accommodating
Speaker 3: with your schedule, not only as a single parent, but
Speaker 3: as an entrepreneur and someone who who has businesses. We've
Speaker 3: spoken and touched upon this, but this is very important
Speaker 3: because they need to have patience. They have to know
Speaker 3: that you can't always pick up the phone, you can't
Speaker 3: always answer that tex back. There's going to be a
Speaker 3: lot of times that you are having to dedicate a
Speaker 3: huge percentage of your time to your children and family.
Speaker 2: I agree, one hundred percent exactly.
Speaker 1: I just think definding someone that's understanding and all the
Speaker 1: things that I am requiring or I am not just
Speaker 1: requesting it, these are my requirements at this moment in
Speaker 1: my life. I whoever my future husband or partner is,
Speaker 1: I want them to know that I too would be
Speaker 1: willing to be flexible and understanding with all the things
Speaker 1: that I am requiring.
Speaker 2: It's not just me, me me, me, me me me.
Speaker 1: I am willing to do these things for you because
Speaker 1: I am looking for a reflection of me. So I
Speaker 1: am willing to understand. We have to compromise, and I
Speaker 1: understand where you're coming from. And I think that being
Speaker 1: understanding in the era and the times that we live
Speaker 1: in is very important in order for a successful relationship.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know, I think that all these things
Speaker 1: come with maturity.
Speaker 2: All these things come with time.
Speaker 1: And it took me a long time and certain experiences
Speaker 1: to have the mentality that I have now and to
Speaker 1: be able to be like I get it now.
Speaker 2: I understand now what it.
Speaker 1: Is to have a real responsible relationship, a meaningful relationship.
Speaker 2: And I pray that he comes and do.
Speaker 3: Time, no pressure, and that ties into our very last
Speaker 3: one here is exactly Well, you just mentioned someone who
Speaker 3: is willing to grow learn together with you in your
Speaker 3: relationship with you. Just literally laid out so eloquently for
Speaker 3: everyone too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in due time, you know. I am not putting
Speaker 1: any pressure right now. I do have lonely moments, and
Speaker 1: I'm not a lonely person. I have lonely moments where
Speaker 1: I could be in bed and be like, oh, I
Speaker 1: wish I had somebody here to cuddle me and watch
Speaker 1: Netflix and just be here with me. But it hasn't
Speaker 1: happened yet, right And I don't want to rush into
Speaker 1: anything and then be like, damn, I should I stay
Speaker 1: by myself if I was going to do with this crap?
Speaker 1: You know, Godsham is perfect. It all happens in due time.
Speaker 1: Ladies out there, if you feel me, if you're single,
Speaker 1: if you're you know, going through it. If dating is hard,
Speaker 1: trust me, I'm in the dating apps myself. It is very.
Speaker 2: Difficult to find the right person.
Speaker 1: I know that these days, men and women feel that
Speaker 1: they have so many options that no one wants to settle.
Speaker 1: Everybody wants to be free, you know, and just do
Speaker 1: the three months, tryout, next, three months, try out next.
Speaker 1: I am afraid of STDs. I am afraid of having
Speaker 1: more children with the wrong person. I just want to
Speaker 1: do things right this time around, and I will take
Speaker 1: my time. This is what you can take home with you.
Speaker 1: Don't feel that you know there's not enough time because
Speaker 1: you never know when the right person is going to come.
Speaker 1: Take your time. Learn to love yourself, learn to enjoy
Speaker 1: the process. Feel free to date. Stop trying to put
Speaker 1: labels and names on things so quickly because you might
Speaker 1: be rushing into the wrong relationship.
Speaker 2: Just let it flow, but let it flow with direction.
Speaker 1: Know exactly what you want, how you want it, what
Speaker 1: you're looking for. You can't expect to have the right
Speaker 1: relationship if you don't have a list of the things
Speaker 1: that you require in order for someone else to enter
Speaker 1: your life, and vice versa. So I wish you single
Speaker 1: ladies out there the best. I hope that you guys
Speaker 1: find that you know that perfect partner as well. If
Speaker 1: you have it, girl, just keep working on yourself till
Speaker 1: he comes. And also, you have to put yourself out
Speaker 1: there too, because he ain't gonna come knock at your door,
Speaker 1: whether you go out to lounges with your.
Speaker 2: Friends, or you're on dating apps, or whatever the case
Speaker 2: may be.
Speaker 1: Be open, be open to receiving whatever God in the
Speaker 1: universe has for you. But that being said, Alex, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for putting this together, because you really
Speaker 1: hit every single point of every single thing that I
Speaker 1: am looking for in my life right now.
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful for you. Thank you, Alex.
Speaker 3: You're welcome. It's like I know you, you know me,
Speaker 3: you do.
Speaker 1: Know me, and I really really enjoyed and loved this
Speaker 1: episode because it really hit home. I know that there's
Speaker 1: gonna be so many people out there listening that can relate.
Speaker 1: They're looking for the same things. You're not the only one,
Speaker 1: you know. It's a working process. We're all trying to
Speaker 1: figure it out out here. It's tough out here in
Speaker 1: these streets. But hopingly, Baba the Olds, you know, God
Speaker 1: has something waiting for us real soon we'll find that
Speaker 1: very tell love that we've been waiting for. But in
Speaker 1: the meantime, I just want to thank all of you
Speaker 1: guys for being part of Exactly Amada. Subscribe to the
Speaker 1: podcast for your favorite podcast platform and head over to
Speaker 1: our YouTube channel, where you will be able to watch
Speaker 1: or listen to the podcast by searching for microda podcast.
Speaker 1: Follow me on my Instagram account at Amara la Nigra
Speaker 1: a l N. Amada La Nigra a l N is verified.
Speaker 1: You'll feel sick and remember that this has been a
Speaker 1: production of Iheart's Microtuda podcast network. For more podcasts from iHeart,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows. This is your girl, Amalagra, and
Speaker 1: you just heard exactly Amada