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Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast

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Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: Hey everyone, welcome to Almost Famous with Ben out still

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Speaker 2: in Italy. We decided to have some girl some mom time,

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Speaker 2: so I have my friend Raven Gates on the.

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Speaker 3: Phone right now on zoom. Hey, Raven, you.

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Speaker 2: Just started out by telling me it's been one of

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Speaker 2: those days, and I was like, let's just press record,

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Speaker 2: because that's what we're here to vent about, those days,

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Speaker 2: which you and I have experienced for the first time

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Speaker 2: in the past year and a half and now you

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Speaker 2: are just doubling it with the second baby. So please

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Speaker 2: tell me what was your day, Like.

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Speaker 4: Today's one of those days. And I'm like, what have

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Speaker 4: I done? Yes, takeet bay And for the most part,

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Speaker 4: I love it, but you know how hard it is.

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Speaker 4: And then just like I ran in here, I was

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Speaker 4: like five minutes late hopping on because I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: we can go to Chick fil a Gates to like

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Speaker 4: play and they have like a little play area there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Well I get there and then Max starts screaming, So

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Speaker 4: it's like, you know, now it's not just solely one,

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Speaker 4: it's like one in the other and balancing that and

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Speaker 4: I'm like dying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm here for you, and I am just

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Speaker 2: terrified to like be in your position. So like you

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Speaker 2: were the same, like we wanted I want another child, yes,

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Speaker 2: you want perhaps more, but we'll get there later.

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Speaker 3: You definitely want that second.

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Speaker 2: You got pregnant with your second when you were nine

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Speaker 2: months postpartum with Gates, so like, I know that was

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Speaker 2: a surprise, and I was like, girl, I don't know

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Speaker 2: what I mean. You know, like i'd be happy and

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Speaker 2: be like, Okay, well, we're just gonna knock it out,

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Speaker 2: and then for me.

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Speaker 3: I'd be like and then we're gonna be done and

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Speaker 3: we're gonna do it all together.

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Speaker 2: But I just like don't know, like how you're doing

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Speaker 2: two under two, So just like let us in well.

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Speaker 4: To be honest with you, Usually most of my days,

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Speaker 4: people get onto me on Instagram a lot because they

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Speaker 4: think I'm sugarcoating it. I really love and enjoy being

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Speaker 4: a mom. I love it even on hard days. I

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Speaker 4: really love it, and honestly, I think I'm pretty good

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Speaker 4: at it. Adam has a much tougher time than I do.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't come assual to him. Plus I think it's

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Speaker 4: just like the man thing they have a learning curve

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Speaker 4: for sure, is very very hard for him. He even

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Speaker 4: told me the other day, he was like, is postpartum

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Speaker 4: depression for men real? And I'm like, it totally, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: of course it is. I was like, and you are

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Speaker 4: totally fine to feel that way. Most days are really good,

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Speaker 4: but like today, you just have to know there are

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Speaker 4: gonna be days like yeah, and it's hard. But for

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Speaker 4: the most part, I love it, and I feel like

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Speaker 4: I've done really really well balancing it. But you know,

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Speaker 4: we just all have. We have good days and bad

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Speaker 4: days and we're getting through it.

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Speaker 2: You know, you touched on something A couple of things

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Speaker 2: there that I do want to bring up.

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Speaker 3: First, your Instagram.

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Speaker 2: You do make mothering look easy, and I do look

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Speaker 2: to you as like an inspiration amuse at some times,

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Speaker 2: and then half the time I'm like, how the does

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Speaker 2: she do it like this?

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Speaker 3: I'm like, she just made it like.

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Speaker 2: She's got her hair and makeup done. You said before

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Speaker 2: we got on, You're like, you look pretty. I was like, literally,

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Speaker 2: I put on mascara and t did moisture rides are

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Speaker 2: on for you, Raven, because you impressed me every day

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Speaker 2: with putting yourself together. And yeah, so like what I

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Speaker 2: do think it comes easier to you. But let's go

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Speaker 2: back to Instagram. Lots of people do comment and they're

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Speaker 2: like is this really Like how do you do this?

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Speaker 3: How do you do this?

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Speaker 2: And I have twenty eight hours of like nanny help

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Speaker 2: every week and I am still.

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Speaker 3: Just getting by.

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Speaker 2: Thank God for the nanny because she makes me feel

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Speaker 2: relatively sane. But like before she came into my life,

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Speaker 2: when he was at nine months, I was like losing

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Speaker 2: my ship.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, totally. I mean, I think we were supposed to

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Speaker 4: mother with a community and we just don't have that anymore.

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Speaker 4: Like our culture doesn't help us mother It's really put

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Speaker 4: on the mom. But yeah, I've been kind of in

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Speaker 4: this little dilemma with Instagram because you see a lot

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Speaker 4: of negativity about mothering. Oh it almost discourages and I'm

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Speaker 4: not saying not to be real, but sometimes it discourages

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Speaker 4: women from being mothers. But my hope on my Instagram

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Speaker 4: is to, like you said, being cur urging and kind

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Speaker 4: of like a muse to people and not make people

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Speaker 4: feel like less than or like she's doing it and

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Speaker 4: I'm not. And I've been trying to make sure people

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Speaker 4: know that but I also find motherhood to be very beautiful,

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Speaker 4: and to be honest, I recognize that it's much easier

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Speaker 4: for me than most. And I think it's because I

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Speaker 4: all my best friends back home have six to twelve

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Speaker 4: year olds. Okay, so I've been around forever, my nieces,

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Speaker 4: my nephew. I mean, I have been a baby person forever,

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Speaker 4: and I helped raise my nephew from the time he

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Speaker 4: was born, and my niece, and so I'm just I

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Speaker 4: kind of feel very confident in being a mom. And

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Speaker 4: I actually had many women in my life that were

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Speaker 4: music is to me and so showing that I have

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Speaker 4: makeup and my hair done.

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Speaker 3: And all of that.

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Speaker 4: It's not every day, but I think, you know what,

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Speaker 4: it may be like two o'clock in the afternoon when

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Speaker 4: I finally get one kid asleep and I'm just going

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Speaker 4: to bring the other baby in here with me, throw

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Speaker 4: some toys in the floor, and like do my hair makeup.

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Speaker 4: Not for anybody else, but like I like to do it.

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Speaker 4: And that kind of helped me be me and not

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Speaker 4: get like lost in the chaos of being a mom.

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Speaker 4: But for other girls, like make hair and makeup's a

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Speaker 4: hassle for some people. They don't enjoy it. It's not

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Speaker 4: like therapeutic.

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Speaker 3: I do enjoy it. I like enjoy it.

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Speaker 2: I get like a half an hour to listen to

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Speaker 2: a podcast while I do my makeup and he's somewhere else.

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Speaker 3: It's amazing.

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Speaker 4: Yes, And so for like, for you, that's therapeutic if

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Speaker 4: you can just set the baby aside, let him play

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Speaker 4: and you do your hair makeup for like twenty twenty

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Speaker 4: minute routine or less. You can like a five minute

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Speaker 4: routine or whatever. Yeah, I think some may see that

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Speaker 4: as like, well, it's just a half song, like do

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Speaker 4: my hair makeup and stuff. So you just have to

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Speaker 4: like do your thing, the one thing, your own thing.

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Speaker 4: Do like one thing I told someone on Instagram the

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Speaker 4: other day that have a cup of coffee when when

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Speaker 4: everyone's asleep.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I was gonna say when it's hot.

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Speaker 4: Or take a bath, take a quick bath like something

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Speaker 4: me you can enjoy and that way you just kind

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Speaker 4: of feel like yourself, you know, just a little bit

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Speaker 4: something in the day for you. But like I said,

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Speaker 4: today has just been like there's no there's no time today.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, like I even feel guilty about like when the

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Speaker 2: nanny comes and it's like nine o'clock and I'm like.

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Speaker 3: Okay, it's time to get to work.

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Speaker 2: Like I feel like if I waste any time where

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Speaker 2: I'm not working during those times, I'm wasting. Like in

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Speaker 2: the back of my head, I'm like, you're wasting. You're wasting,

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Speaker 2: even though like sometimes I'm like, I'm gonna take this

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Speaker 2: hot cup of coffee, bring it back to bed and

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Speaker 2: watch the first half an hour of Kelly and Mark

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Speaker 2: without trying.

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Speaker 3: To like think about anything else.

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Speaker 2: Why do I have this guilt that, like, when I

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Speaker 2: have free time, I still need to be productive.

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Speaker 3: Is do you find that? Yes?

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Speaker 4: I do. I especially did with Gates when I just

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Speaker 4: had Gates. But with two, I'm just like, I need

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Speaker 4: the cup of coffee. I need I need it, I

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Speaker 4: have to have it. You loosen up a little bit,

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Speaker 4: at least I did. But no, I totally understand that

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Speaker 4: that mom guilt with I mean, I have it. I

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Speaker 4: have it really bad because Adam wants to travel, so

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Speaker 4: he wants to go and do in like them's in Italy.

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Speaker 4: We just went to Italy for our baby moon. No,

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Speaker 4: the whole way, the whole time we were there, I

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Speaker 4: told Adam, I want you to know I'm really struggling.

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Speaker 4: I feel guilty blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: And because you love Gates.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and just like that time, you know you, I

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Speaker 4: think mom guilt is just inevitable, you know, Like.

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Speaker 2: I want to go like on little trips, like just

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Speaker 2: a couple of trips for like three nights. I think

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Speaker 2: that would be nice, But Jared won't do it. Jared's like,

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Speaker 2: I want.

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Speaker 3: To be with Dawson.

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Speaker 2: You know, We're going to talk about him the entire time,

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Speaker 2: and we're just going to FaceTime and look at pictures

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Speaker 2: of him, and we're gonna be.

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Speaker 3: Like, why do we do this?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, yeah, I think we would do that

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Speaker 2: like the first day, and then we'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this is kind of good for us, and we do

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Speaker 2: that with you know, when we go to weddings and stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but Jared is very much team like, we don't leave

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Speaker 2: Dawson unless we have to.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, and I I get that completely, But you

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Speaker 4: guys also need your time too. It's so hard though,

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Speaker 4: because he probably feels the guilt leaving.

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Speaker 2: Him well, probably because he doesn't have as much time

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Speaker 2: with him during the week, because like Adam, he's at work,

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Speaker 2: he's away from the house the majority of the Monday

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Speaker 2: through Friday and like even weekends and stuff. So I have,

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Speaker 2: like my Phil a lot of Dawson and he is

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Speaker 2: just always craving more quality time. Yeah, yeah, lots of

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Speaker 2: lots of things. So I want to go from here. Okay, Well, Adam, Adam,

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Speaker 2: and you actually did inspire me through something on your

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Speaker 2: Instagram and I told you this last week, But like.

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Speaker 3: I was like, how did they go on date nights?

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Speaker 2: Like they're always on date night, Like they like they're

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Speaker 2: always like a dinner and it's so nice, and like

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Speaker 2: their relationship just seems like we have a very healthy, open,

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Speaker 2: very communicative relationship. But like the thing is, like there's

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Speaker 2: something about you guys that just like there just seems

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Speaker 2: to be a lot of romance still there even though

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Speaker 2: you've been together for six years.

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Speaker 3: And then you mentioned that.

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Speaker 2: You had the date calendar and that you plan your

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Speaker 2: dates out, which I love, and I like didn't even

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Speaker 2: realize that that's like something you sort of have to

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Speaker 2: do because we would always just be like, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: we'll see later in the week if we have like

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Speaker 2: an opening at the end of the week, and then

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Speaker 2: we could see if we could get a sitter, right,

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Speaker 2: but you guys like really make it a point and priority.

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Speaker 3: So can you share what you guys do and how

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Speaker 3: you've been doing it?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure, I think well, I think i've shared

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Speaker 4: with this this before with you that we have done

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Speaker 4: all sorts of couples counseling before.

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Speaker 3: I was going to bring that up, yes, and I.

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Speaker 4: Think that really helped. But yeah, just having the kids,

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Speaker 4: I just I think one thing with counseling, and then

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Speaker 4: also just like your partner in general, knowing their weaknesses.

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Speaker 4: And I know that if I don't have some time

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Speaker 4: with Adam, we're going to lose it, Like we're going

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Speaker 4: to lose the spark, we're going to get in the mundane.

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Speaker 4: And it's just like Adam traveling. I know he wants

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Speaker 4: to travel, so like there are things that we know

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Speaker 4: about each other's personality that we try to stay on

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Speaker 4: top of. But when it comes to planning dates, there's

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Speaker 4: so many good restaurants here in Dallas, Like that's one

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Speaker 4: of our reservations, is like getting out and trying new restaurants.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and since we're so jealous of everything you eat.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it's so good. Well, you just have

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Speaker 4: to come to Dallas and we'll take you to all

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Speaker 4: the places. But scheduling it out and having a date

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Speaker 4: on the calendar for me helps me with the boys

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Speaker 4: because I have something to look forward to, Yes, because

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Speaker 4: you can get so lost, as you know, you get

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Speaker 4: so lost and up to your head with work, with

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Speaker 4: being a mom, that you just need I tell Adam

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Speaker 4: all the time, let's just like book a trip six

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Speaker 4: months out, a year out and just have something to

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Speaker 4: look forward to. And so we just kind of started

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Speaker 4: doing that with dates like this weekend we have a date,

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Speaker 4: and then we have some weddings coming up, so I

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Speaker 4: kind of consider like us going to a wedding as

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Speaker 4: a date of ours, you know, And that has helped

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Speaker 4: so so much, just for not even between me and Adam.

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Speaker 4: It's helped me not to kind of like lose it

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Speaker 4: for myself, like yeah, okay, I can still you know,

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Speaker 4: go out and get dressed up, and then of course

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Speaker 4: we have a good time because we get to reconnect again.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, I don't know, it's it's hard. It's very hard.

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Speaker 4: And like you said, we were doing the whole thing

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Speaker 4: like if we have free time, we'll go. Something always

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Speaker 4: comes up like you schedule it, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, I appreciate you guys for giving us that idea.

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Speaker 2: I think we also were just like, oh, like the weekend, right,

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Speaker 2: like you obviously would go out on a cand but

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Speaker 2: like no, like for us, like, actually, like Wednesday's work better,

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Speaker 2: So we're probably just gonna stick to a Wednesday like

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Speaker 2: every other Wednesday. And I want to make it different

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Speaker 2: dates because when we went to Paradise, going on like

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Speaker 2: the jet skis and stuff like that, was that was

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Speaker 2: way more sparky than just going to dinner over and

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Speaker 2: over again.

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Speaker 4: Totally yeah, yeah, you gotta spice it up a little bit.

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Speaker 4: I was just telling Adam it's been six years since

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Speaker 4: Paradise and that seems like such a far well, like

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Speaker 4: another lifetime ago. But going on those tops of dates

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Speaker 4: is important because you need a little romance and in

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Speaker 4: the mix of everything, I need to still feel like

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Speaker 4: my husband thinks I'm sexy, exact, And I was totally

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Speaker 4: joking with Adam the other day, but he was kind

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Speaker 4: of like we could do that. I was like, let's

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Speaker 4: just because after the C section, you can't have sex

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Speaker 4: for until you're cleared. So I told him I was

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Speaker 4: like you have if you want to sleep with me,

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Speaker 4: you have to take me on a hot date.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like a different date, right, yes, like a different date.

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Speaker 4: Like you have to wo me, like act like you're

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Speaker 4: dating me. And he was like, well, why don't we

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Speaker 4: just meet.

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Speaker 3: At a bar and oh, I love it so much, act.

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Speaker 4: Like we don't know each other and like I'm trying

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Speaker 4: to get you to sleep with me. And I was like,

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Speaker 4: oh my gosh, I'm down for that.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'd be so down for that.

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Speaker 4: Isn't that fun just to like go and you know,

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Speaker 4: I mean it's it's pretend it's play, but you're so

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Speaker 4: comfortable with each other at this point, it's like could

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Speaker 4: be really fun and spicy. You know.

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Speaker 3: I so want to do that now. Thank you for

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Speaker 3: that idea.

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Speaker 2: So with Adam, I know that you guys live in

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Speaker 2: Dallas because of his work.

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Speaker 3: Now it's his all. This family still in southern California

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Speaker 3: or is there a parent that's in Dallas.

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Speaker 4: Yes, one brother and his dad is in California and

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Speaker 4: then one another brother and his mom is.

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Speaker 3: Here in Texas. Okay, so you have his mom, yeah,

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Speaker 3: but like you don't have your parents.

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Speaker 2: So for me, the biggest struggle with having Dawson has

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Speaker 2: just been not having my parents there and my sister

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Speaker 2: there to help on a daily basis. I think, like

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Speaker 2: very much. It's like a I think the mom's parents

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Speaker 2: like need to be around, like extreme dependency.

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Speaker 4: Yeah all the time. Our lives would be so different

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Speaker 4: if my mom lived close to us.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know all the time.

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Speaker 4: Yes, Mom, every day and even my dad. My dad

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Speaker 4: joke around like he can literally be a not nurse

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Speaker 4: because he will just stay up all night with the

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Speaker 4: babies and not going. And I was like, our lives

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Speaker 4: would be totally different if my mom was here. That

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Speaker 4: it makes you like really really miss your mom.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's like probably the only area in like our lives

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Speaker 2: where it's like we are in different pages. Don't like

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Speaker 2: know a solution on it at all. Like Jared kind

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Speaker 2: of wants to do like the winters in Virginia. I'm like, so,

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Speaker 2: you you're telling me that you want to live for

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Speaker 2: three months out of the year in my parents' basement,

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Speaker 2: like if you want to, like okay, But he like

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Speaker 2: is so just tied to Rhode Island.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what we're gonna do for the second.

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Speaker 2: It just feels like impossible not to have like that

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Speaker 2: full hands on family, like the feeling of practically having

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Speaker 2: your parents live with you, Like because I know that

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Speaker 2: my mom would never go a day without seeing Dawson

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Speaker 2: if we lived there and pretty much stay with my sister.

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Speaker 2: And my dad is like so obsessed with him too,

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Speaker 2: like every day, like when's my Dawson FaceTime?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so totally Oh is that isn't it? Is it frustrating?

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Speaker 2: Do you guys ever debate where you might end up

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Speaker 2: or because you're building a house.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, No, it's always been that we're living here. It's

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Speaker 4: always that has always been the agreement.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of same with us, And everything changed

342
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Speaker 2: when we had Dawson, because, like, I was totally fine.

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Speaker 2: I living in Rhode Island. It's an hour flight for

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Speaker 2: my parents. I go home for almost a week every month.

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Speaker 2: We're very lucky in that. Of course, when we had

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Speaker 2: to add the second child and then Dawson turns two,

347
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Speaker 2: then the flights are going to get way more expensive,

348
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Speaker 2: and that's something to consider too. We will be able

349
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Speaker 2: to bounce back and forth so much exactly, you know, right, so,

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Speaker 2: like and my parents will never ever move here.

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Speaker 3: My dad wants to die.

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Speaker 2: In our house in Virginia. Now, when your parents move

353
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Speaker 2: to Texas.

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Speaker 4: I don't see them moving. They have toyed with that idea.

355
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Speaker 4: I truly never got my hopes up because I just

356
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Speaker 4: don't see that happening. Yeah, and my mom's retired now,

357
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Speaker 4: my dad can retire anytime, so that helps come here.

358
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Speaker 4: But it's just like you, it's an hour flight and

359
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Speaker 4: it's like seven and a half hour drive if we

360
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Speaker 4: were to drive, yeah, seven hours, so it's exactly the same.

361
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Speaker 4: But no, I mean, I just I think I have

362
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Speaker 4: already warned my mom not being here, Yeah, because I

363
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Speaker 4: just know there's four our me and Adam. There's no

364
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Speaker 4: way she'll never be here. Yeah. I totally understand that

365
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,080
Speaker 4: my life would be so different if my mother was here.

366
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Speaker 3: Yeah.

367
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Speaker 2: And it's not as if we don't love our mother

368
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 2: in laws like I totally do. It's just like I'm

369
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Speaker 2: not going to ask her constantly like can you watch him.

370
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Speaker 3: If I get my nails done down the street?

371
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Speaker 4: Well, yes, And it's not like like you're comfortable with

372
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,359
Speaker 4: your mom and for you're that you can kind of

373
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Speaker 4: snap at them if.

374
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Speaker 3: You need to.

375
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Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, absolutely, I can't do that, like I'm not

376
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Speaker 4: as comfortable as like I can't ask if I can

377
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 4: go get my nails done, like it's just so much

378
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,120
Speaker 4: better with my mom. And then I think, and you too,

379
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,400
Speaker 4: for now, where are the where are the boy moms?

380
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Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, so we're we're.

381
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Speaker 4: Gonna be We're never going to be the girl mom.

382
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 4: So well maybe we will. Yeah, but I just think

383
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 4: about that, like I'll be like my like Adam's okay,

384
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 4: sorry law, Yes, Adam's mom had three boys when I

385
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 4: had Gates, and you know the whole story I was about.

386
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 4: I was pushing I wanted her in the room because

387
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Speaker 4: she would never get to see the birth of her

388
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:28,639
Speaker 4: grandchild and she's with a with a daughter in law.

389
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Speaker 4: I just think about that. I'm like, if I only

390
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 4: have sons, I may not get to see. I may

391
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Speaker 4: not be as close. I may not get to see,

392
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Speaker 4: I may not get to experience. And so I just

393
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 4: think about that because I'm like, yeah, it's definitely different

394
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 4: girls mother's it's totally different. I'm okay with that, but

395
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 4: it's for my children, but it's different, Like it's not

396
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 4: going to be like how how a girl is with

397
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 4: her mom, Like the son.

398
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Speaker 3: Is with the mom. Yep, exactly like it.

399
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 2: And Jared also has this thing and I'm sure Adam

400
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,400
Speaker 2: sort of would have the same thing.

401
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,360
Speaker 3: He doesn't love.

402
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: Asking for help from his parents even when we need it,

403
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,360
Speaker 2: Like it's a pride thing.

404
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 4: Oh, Adam will ask at the drop of a hat,

405
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 4: even if I.

406
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 3: Don't jealous, jealous.

407
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 4: Even if I don't need it. He'll be like, I

408
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 4: call my mom just coming over, and I appreciate it

409
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 4: so much. Yeah, he But I also remember you saying

410
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 4: that Jared was very hands on, very good with Dawson.

411
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 4: Yeah he is sing and Adam Adam is, like I said,

412
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,479
Speaker 4: Adam is struggles with that. So I think that's why

413
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 4: he's so much more willing to interesting.

414
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, that could be it. So how has he

415
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 3: grown in all that?

416
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 4: I really think it has to do with Gates's age

417
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 4: and just being able to communicate a little bit, smile, laugh,

418
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 4: play like those were so important for Adam and he

419
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 4: definitely had a learning curve, like right now with Max.

420
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 4: Max is almost two months old and Adam does not

421
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 4: know what to do with Max. He has no idea

422
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 4: and this is not his first rodeo like he has

423
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 4: done this before.

424
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 3: And he had Adam's my dad.

425
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 2: Adam was my dad with us, and is my dad

426
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,159
Speaker 2: with Dawson when he was an infant. Like, my dad

427
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,400
Speaker 2: didn't hold Dawson until he was like five days old,

428
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 2: even though we were like living at their house, because

429
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,439
Speaker 2: he was like, I'm gonna break up. I have no

430
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 2: interest in infants, blah blah blah. But now he just

431
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 2: obsessed and like very hands on. It's so funny how

432
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 2: some men just can't handle infants.

433
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just so different. And I guess I don't

434
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 4: know about your dad, but I know Adam hasn't had

435
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 4: never been around babies before, so he has a huge

436
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 4: learning curve of like what that? And then he did

437
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 4: it again and then here we are, and now I

438
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 4: know my expectation. He's just not good at the infancy stage.

439
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 4: And that's fine because you know they usually want just

440
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 4: their mom anyway, and they're a big blob. You just

441
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 4: feed them, put them to bed, change the dpper. It's

442
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 4: like clockwork. But he's so much better with Gates. It's

443
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 4: just like I told him the other day, I was like,

444
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 4: I'm so proud of you for your relationship with Gates.

445
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,679
Speaker 4: Not I didn't know. I knew he would be a

446
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 4: good dad, yeah, but I didn't know how it was

447
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 4: going to develop after seeing him with Gates.

448
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 3: As a new born like that to freak you out.

449
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 4: No, I just like, you better get it together, like

450
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 4: this is our life. So like he had to figure

451
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 4: it out, and I was very frustrated at times.

452
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 3: I still am.

453
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 4: I still get very frustrated at Adam because I hear

454
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 4: of all these girls, I'm like, low key jealous, Like

455
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 4: they're like, oh yeah, he gets up in the middle

456
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 4: of the night. I'm like, yeah, I'm so jealous. Like

457
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:02,159
Speaker 4: Adam's brother, older brother was down here last weekend, the

458
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 4: one that lives in California, and his sister in law

459
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 4: was like telling me, oh yeah, Will gets up in

460
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 4: the middle of the night. We everything is fifty to fifties.

461
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 4: I give a bottle, it's his turn next. I changed

462
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 4: a job, or it's his turn next. I'm like, Adam,

463
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 4: are you hearing this? Like can you take some notes?

464
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,639
Speaker 4: Can you like change it up for every once in

465
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 4: a while.

466
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 2: But so we all have our things that were jealous of.

467
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 2: I'm jealous of you being like the perfect pregnant person

468
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 2: because you never have any symptoms and then you're jealous

469
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: of me because when it's in the infant stage, Jared

470
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 2: was very you're diaper, my diaper, your bottle, my bottle.

471
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 4: Yes, that's amazing to have that kind of partner.

472
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 3: So you were prepared though.

473
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 2: I remember you telling me the last time we podcast

474
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: together that it was on my I Don't get it

475
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 2: podcast by the way, guys, and it was when we

476
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,959
Speaker 2: were both pregnant. You may have had the baby, may

477
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 2: have been pregnant.

478
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 3: It was something like that.

479
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 2: No, no, no, we didn't do that. That wasn't the situation.

480
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 2: Because we had the babies within ten days a part

481
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 2: of each other.

482
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 4: We must have been been pregnant.

483
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 3: We are both pregnant.

484
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 2: So I remember you talking about marriage therapy and how

485
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 2: you did it beforehand and how you're very prepared going

486
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 2: into motherhood and fatherhood because you were like going to

487
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 2: take that traditional maybe some may say old school mother route.

488
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: So how did you guys discuss that? Like I just

489
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 2: want to kind of know and like, do you still

490
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 2: do therapy? Just like keep it on a healthy level.

491
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 4: So Adam and I and I might have said this

492
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,719
Speaker 4: in on your other podcast. We grew up totally different,

493
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 4: and I just that's what I wanted for my family,

494
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 4: and I reserve my right to change my mind. I

495
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 4: reserve my right to the traditional stay at home.

496
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 2: And I deserve my it's my right to say I

497
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 2: don't want to live in Rude Island anymore.

498
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 4: Yes, exactly, exactly, No.

499
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 2: I'm kidding, I'm really I'm actually like quite good here

500
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: right now during the summer and lots of family visits.

501
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 3: But yes, go ahead continue, Yes, I totally agree.

502
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 4: But like therapy was really helpful for us, which we

503
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 4: we were mandatory how to do therapy before we got

504
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 4: married just because we had different religious backgrounds and so

505
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 4: to get married under a certain rabbi, we had to

506
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 4: do all this therapy. So it kind of forced us

507
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 4: to do it. It was like, not, we're not, like

508
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 4: we didn't seek it on our own, so we haven't

509
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 4: stayed on top of it. But it did just highlight

510
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 4: some of those differences we had, and like let's find

511
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 4: common ground, like or maybe open our eyes to the

512
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 4: perspective a little differently than what we would have before,

513
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 4: because we are so different. Adam and I are so different,

514
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 4: and I don't know, I think, like I said earlier,

515
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,880
Speaker 4: I was just so prepared because I've been around babies.

516
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 4: I wanted babies, and Adam not. So he wanted a family,

517
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 4: but he just grew up completely different.

518
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 2: Because his parents weren't together and it wasn't like the

519
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 2: kind of family unit you had.

520
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 4: No, it was all of it, really, but he, like

521
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 4: his mom and dad were workaholics, so he wasn't around

522
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 4: them like I was around my mom, and so for

523
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 4: him it was very easy to delegate a ton of

524
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 4: time for a nanny or a housekeeper or this or that.

525
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 4: That was just like his normal. And for me, I

526
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 4: was like, I never had anyone ever clean my house before.

527
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 4: That was just unheard of from like where I come from.

528
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 4: That was just I don't think you could get a housekeeper.

529
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 4: I mean that was just like, I mean crazy to

530
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 4: think that someone could even afford one. So we were

531
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 4: just totally different socioeconomics, religion, everything. So to have someone

532
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 4: to kind of come through all the things that we

533
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 4: needed and wanted individually and then connect the dots for

534
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 4: us of what would work was really helpful.

535
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds it, And I've given that advice that

536
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 2: you gave us about like it's just a healthy, good thing.

537
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 2: To go through before getting married to other people, being like, if.

538
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 3: You feel awkward addressing this issue.

539
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 2: Go to Premier Riddle Counseling and then they'll bring it

540
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 2: up for you and then you guys can hash it

541
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 2: out in in an environment in which like it's not

542
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 2: going to get like overly hostile because there's going to

543
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 2: be a mediator. Yes one, All right, let's talk a

544
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 2: little bit about Max and your past few months. So

545
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 2: you had the plan C section because well it was

546
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 2: It wasn't because of the way that Gates was born,

547
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 2: which was in total traumatic fashion, and we don't have

548
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 2: to go into that, but you would think that after

549
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 2: that you would have had a plan sea section, just

550
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 2: because a lot of the times they don't do vbax,

551
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 2: which means if you have a first if you have

552
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 2: a C section, depending on your obi, they may not

553
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 2: be keen on the idea of you try a vaginal birth.

554
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 3: So that wasn't the case. You actually had a placenta issue.

555
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, so she told me, going, I had such a

556
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 4: horrible experience with Gates's.

557
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 3: Birth, and yeah, I would have just wanted the sea section.

558
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 4: Well, the most terrifying part about Gates's birth was the

559
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 4: sea section for me, Oh my god, I forgot I

560
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 4: felt everything. Yeah and little So okay, let me just

561
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 4: tell you the story because I need to tell you

562
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 4: this on or off a podcast.

563
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 3: But okay, if you're okay and comfortable being on.

564
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 4: I so I wanted to do a v back because

565
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 4: I was terrified at the sea section. That would a

566
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,479
Speaker 4: movie for me. I mean, and I hear experiences like

567
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 4: you and some of my other girlfriends that have just

568
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 4: like amazing birthing experience sea section or vaginal delivery, Like

569
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 4: I've heard amazing things, and all my C section girlfriends

570
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 4: are like, oh, it's the best thing. You're in and

571
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 4: you're out as fifteen minutes. It's like, absolutely not. I

572
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 4: could never ever go through that again. That was a

573
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 4: horror movie. And so I told my ob and she's like,

574
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 4: I usually do not do vbas because there's risk involved

575
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 4: in all the stuff, she said, but if you want

576
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 4: to try, I won't say no. It's it's up to you.

577
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 4: So when we did my anatomy scam, my placenta was growing.

578
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 4: Like the umbilical cord is supposed to be in the middle,

579
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:32,479
Speaker 4: it was on the side of my placenta. So I

580
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 4: wouldn't have been able to birth the placenta or like,

581
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 4: you know, push the placenta out. I could have pushed

582
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 4: the baby out fine, but not the placenta. So she's like, Okay,

583
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 4: we're gonna have a c section because you could have

584
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 4: the baby and then have a c section for the placenta.

585
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 4: We don't want to do.

586
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 2: Definitely not not another crazy experience either an unexpected experience

587
00:30:55,800 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: at least with the plan sees action you have hopefully yeah,

588
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 2: knowledge that like it's all going to go according to plan.

589
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 3: Yes.

590
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 4: And my Obi turned around in her chair and she said, listen,

591
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 4: it's not going to be like last time.

592
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

593
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 4: I said, how do I know? And she said, the

594
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 4: person who was administrating your drugs had has gotten fired

595
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 4: from the hospital. Holy shit over me.

596
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 3: So like, you're the aneesiologist. Yes, you know, my dad's

597
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 3: an anesthesiologist.

598
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 4: Yeah.

599
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 3: So it was Adam's mom.

600
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 2: Oh no way, Wow, we have so much in common.

601
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 4: Oh it's crazy. So fast forward. It was the most

602
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 4: amazing thing I've ever experienced. It for you quick perfect.

603
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, now I get it. I when they

604
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 4: pulled him out of me and I was like, they're

605
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 4: stitching you up and everything. I just cried and I

606
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 4: thinked by the nurses and the OBI. I was just

607
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 4: thank you. I knew this validated my experience with Gates

608
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 4: because I knew it was not supposed to be that way. Yeah,

609
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 4: so anyway, it was just amazing.

610
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 3: It was.

611
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 2: It was so much better. So I'm so happy and relieved.

612
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 2: I was praying for you that day and I was.

613
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,719
Speaker 3: I mean, what you went through was absolutely ridiculous.

614
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 2: It's crazy that the antasy theologist has been fired because

615
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 2: I mean what you went through was absolutely you.

616
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 4: Know, it's bad if that's the case.

617
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 2: So yeah, okay, so happy that went smoothly. But then

618
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 2: you started breastfeeding and it was going smoothly and then

619
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 2: all of a sudden you had awful metisis.

620
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 3: Can you explain what that is and what you went through?

621
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 4: So this is a little TMI, but I've said it

622
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,239
Speaker 4: on Instagram, I can say it on a podcast. I

623
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 4: have inverted nipples, so it's very hard for me to breastfeed,

624
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,239
Speaker 4: and even the nervses were like, it's going to be

625
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 4: very very difficult for you. There's like levels of inverted

626
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 4: nipples and I have level three, which is the worst,

627
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 4: and most of the time. Level three nipples don't produce

628
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 4: milk at all because they never get stimulated enough to

629
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 4: so I with Gates, it was very hard for me.

630
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 4: I dried up within two months and started my period

631
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 4: the next day. It was just bizarre, and I had

632
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 4: like third degree burns on my nipple, like burns on

633
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 4: my nipples from something because it was that hard to

634
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 4: get my nipples out. So with Max, I was determined

635
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 4: just to do it as long as it did. With Gates,

636
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 4: I know I could do two months. I did it

637
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 4: before months, and it was so much easier. The first

638
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 4: month it was a breeze. I still had to pump

639
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 4: every time because I still have the issue of the

640
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 4: inverted nipples, but my milk flow was way better. I

641
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 4: was keeping up with his demand. And then all of

642
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 4: a sudden, again like with Gates, I got I got

643
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 4: mass isis well.

644
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,359
Speaker 3: Thank you for pronouncing it correctly, my bad.

645
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 4: I usually don't pronounce words correct And so it all

646
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 4: started the same thing happened it was, I got the infection.

647
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 4: I also started breaking out in hoves on my eye

648
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 4: and I still I woke up last night and had

649
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:51,280
Speaker 4: it on my eyes and my milk dropped got the infection,

650
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:56,760
Speaker 4: got on medicine, milk came back up, got some another infection,

651
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 4: milk went down, and now I'm like completely empty.

652
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 3: Well I'm sorry about that.

653
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 2: You didn't met You did almost be your goal though,

654
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 2: right you were like you were almost were almost there.

655
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 4: It's about two weeks two weeks away from being there.

656
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 4: So but breast treating is hard. I mean, you know.

657
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 3: How I mean, I don't know, because you know I

658
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 3: didn't do it.

659
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 4: There you go. See, I didn't mind if I have

660
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 4: a third I'm just packing the formula in my hospital

661
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 4: bag and that's all I'm gonna do because it's just

662
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 4: mentally exhausting, physically exhausting, and I just my body's not

663
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 4: made for it.

664
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have just I grew up. I wasn't breastfed.

665
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 2: Jared wasn't breastfed from the very start. So it was

666
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 2: like I was kind of surrounded by women who who

667
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 2: didn't like prioriti like, I mean, doesn't it's whatever. I'm

668
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 2: just gonna say things the way i'm gonna say, not

669
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 2: try to be overly careful. They didn't like prioritize that,

670
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,720
Speaker 2: and like they had a great journey with formula feeding

671
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 2: and then my sister in law, who gave birth three

672
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 2: months earlier, she's like, I tried in the hospital and

673
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 2: I said, no, thank.

674
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 3: You, here's the formula.

675
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,399
Speaker 2: And then for me, when I was just so much

676
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,839
Speaker 2: needing my body back after just being wrecked for like

677
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 2: seven months, that I was like, I'm like, yeah, yeah,

678
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 2: I'm not going to like attempt. I'm so sorry, but

679
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 2: I'm like not gonna attempt. I need it back, you know,

680
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 2: And I know turn yeah, like you we're good.

681
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 4: It's all good.

682
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

683
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 2: I saw this funny meme that was like, Okay, yes,

684
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 2: you're a breast fed, but like, also, your kid's going

685
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 2: to eat a fry off like their car seat in

686
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: a matter of months, so.

687
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 4: What's the matter. Like when I was going through all

688
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 4: this stuff trying to breastfeed, my mom's like I can't

689
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,840
Speaker 4: help you. She's like I literally have no words of

690
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 4: encouragement to give you because I didn't do this. She's like,

691
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 4: just forget the formula. My mom was like, get the formula, girl,

692
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 4: you're just doing too much.

693
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 2: Let's talk about your birth date, Like your birthday was

694
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 2: your birth date, and when you found out that your

695
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 2: ob scheduled it for your birthday this plan c section.

696
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 2: Were you like, a can we do like the day

697
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 2: before or the day after, because like I don't want

698
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,240
Speaker 2: to share birthdays? Or were you like this is beautiful.

699
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 2: I would love to share a birthday. Dawson shares a

700
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 2: birthday with my my mom, so that's.

701
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 4: Quite Oh my god, that's so cool. I bet she

702
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 4: loved that.

703
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 3: She loved it.

704
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 2: We thought it like when I knew my do date

705
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 2: was February tenth, I was like, I bet you I

706
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 2: have him on the thirty first, and then there it

707
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 2: was really.

708
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 4: Weird how kids end up on dates of family members.

709
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 4: Like out of all the days out.

710
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 2: There, there's a lot, we have a lot of rollover

711
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 2: my family. I think there's three dates that we have

712
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: multiple birthdays on. And then the thirty January thirty first,

713
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 2: my mom's birthday. Dawson's birthday was also the day that

714
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 2: my parents met. I think it was forty forty one,

715
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,719
Speaker 2: Maybe like forty two years.

716
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 3: To the day. I'd have to do the math, but

717
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,240
Speaker 3: I think maybe forty two years today.

718
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 4: I just there, to me, there are no coincidences. It's

719
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 4: just really really cool to see that. That's so bizarre

720
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 4: and who would have thought, it's just so crazy. It

721
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 4: has to have some sort of meaning, like meant to

722
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:20,800
Speaker 4: be the destiny all of that. Yeah, Adam definitely did

723
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 4: not want us to share a birthday. He down to

724
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 4: the day. We were walking in the hospital. He's like,

725
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 4: you can't do this tomorrow. I'm like, Adam, we are here,

726
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 4: we're this is happening in thirty minutes, Like what are

727
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 4: you talking about. He's like, I just just don't watch

728
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 4: you all to share a birthday for me. I didn't

729
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 4: care because, like, for I'm not a huge birthday person.

730
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 4: Like I told Adam, I want a pink cake for

731
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 4: my birthday.

732
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 3: That's all.

733
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 4: I want something pink and girlly and just not for

734
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 4: boys and just very girly. And so he did, he

735
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 4: got me a pink heartcake.

736
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 3: But I was excited.

737
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,319
Speaker 4: I thought it was really cool. I love that his

738
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 4: birthday is seven twenty thirty twenty three. It's on my birthday.

739
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,760
Speaker 4: What a what a? Oh it was my thirty second birthday,

740
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 4: so we have like thirty two twenty three. I was

741
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 4: just like, it's supposed to happen. And then what's crazy

742
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:26,280
Speaker 4: is I was born at ten eighteen. He was born

743
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 4: at eight ten, so we have those numbers in common too,

744
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,240
Speaker 4: So I just thought it was really cool. But Adam

745
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,479
Speaker 4: absolutely did not want us to share birthday. He's still

746
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 4: mad about that thing.

747
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 3: Oh that's so funny, all right.

748
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 2: You've mentioned it recently on Instagram that like Gates at

749
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 2: first was so cool with Max, so so sweet. Off

750
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 2: those videos melted my heart of him running in and

751
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 2: visiting you guys in the hospital.

752
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 3: Oh my, that's video.

753
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,359
Speaker 2: Ever, Like I feel like, yeah, I need to like

754
00:39:56,560 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 2: I should have screen recorded. But recently he's had some

755
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:03,720
Speaker 2: jealousy issues with Max.

756
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 3: Can you elaborate?

757
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,959
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, he like wakes up every morning he's

758
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 4: like baby and he goes and gets he comes with

759
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 4: me to get Max and he'll like kiss him and

760
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 4: all of that, and he'll be like baby baby. He's

761
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 4: just like obsessed with him. But then throughout the day

762
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,399
Speaker 4: he will he loves to bop him as hard as

763
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 4: he can on the head, and any chance he gets

764
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 4: he takes.

765
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 3: I can see Dawson doing this so clearly.

766
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 4: Anytime he's bopping him on the head. And I mean

767
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 4: he is rough. If you have if anyone has seen

768
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 4: my son Gates, he's huge. He's wide. Yeah, very wide

769
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 4: and very strong.

770
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 3: He looks like a two and a half year old,

771
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 3: not a one and a half year old.

772
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 4: It's crazy. He's just we call him hoss Baby instead

773
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 4: of boss Baby. We call him hoss Baby because he's

774
00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 4: literally just so massive and strong. And so the first

775
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 4: time he bopped him on the head, I was like,

776
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, like it, does he have a concussion?

777
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 4: I swear, I'm freath so scary.

778
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry he is.

779
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 4: And now it's like I just know if I hear.

780
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 4: If I have Max playing on his mat or doing

781
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 4: tummy tom on the floor and Gates all of a

782
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 4: sudden gets really quiet, I know I better run to

783
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 4: Max because he's just like got his hand up ready

784
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 4: to bop him in the head and then he'll like

785
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 4: give him a kiss. I'm like, I know what you

786
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 4: were doing, Gates. He's just getting to that point. And

787
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,879
Speaker 4: I'm sure it's d awsin too, like they can't verbalize how

788
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,479
Speaker 4: they feel and so they just kind of act out.

789
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:45,959
Speaker 4: And so it's just kind of been difficult in that

790
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 4: because when you're feeding the baby, I can't go to

791
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,399
Speaker 4: Gates's ever he needs them once like I have been

792
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 4: the past year and a half, and so it's just

793
00:41:55,480 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 4: been challenging in that regard. But it's a hate thing

794
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 4: for Gates right now.

795
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:04,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

796
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: I also he's like at an age where he doesn't

797
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 2: get it, like hopefully with like like we're gonna start

798
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 2: try next month, which holy shit, now I know I'm

799
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 2: getting off my spornal lactone today, which is like the

800
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 2: worst thing ever because you're.

801
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 3: Supposed to be off of it for a month. It's

802
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 3: my like acting drug.

803
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:32,240
Speaker 2: And yeah, like I think it's like an additional nine

804
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 2: months plus whatever.

805
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 3: Who knows how much.

806
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 2: Will help him to like understand that, like you can't

807
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 2: hurt things, because he's definitely in like the handsy phase.

808
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 2: And as much fun as this age is a year

809
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 2: and a half, it's also it's when the temper tantrums

810
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 2: start because they just don't know how to communicate when

811
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 2: they're frustrated.

812
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 4: Yes, that was just insplay. Just like ten minutes before

813
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 4: I hopped on this phone call, Max is screaming. Then

814
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 4: Gates is mad that I couldn't pick him up. I'm like,

815
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 4: your brother's screaming, But he doesn't understand. It's just like

816
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:09,479
Speaker 4: a tough time with emotions at this age. But it'll

817
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 4: be nice for Dawson too, because a lot of people

818
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 4: told me to let Gates give the baby a gift

819
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 4: for his arrival or whatever make him feel included, and like,

820
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 4: the baby can give Gates a gift. Well, Gates was

821
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 4: still too young for even that, Like he had no

822
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 4: idea what a gift was, and so I couldn't include

823
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 4: him in the pregnancy or the birth because he just

824
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 4: didn't have He doesn't have. He just wasn't old enough yet.

825
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 4: But Dawson will be old enough. I mean even if

826
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 4: he got pregnant next month and nine months from then,

827
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,839
Speaker 4: I mean, Dawson's gonna understand like, oh baby, okay, give

828
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 4: the baby a gift at the hospital or baby's coming

829
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 4: home with us, and he'll kind of kind of understand

830
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 4: it a little bit better.

831
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 2: For sure, should be acknowledged that I'm like, ugh, next month, wait,

832
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 2: and you totally understand, right, because it's like you want

833
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 2: more kids, but you also just don't know how to

834
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 2: hand through your life. So your good friend Tia just

835
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 2: posted something very relatable on Instagram because she her baby

836
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 2: is what like nine months Yeah, I he'll be here

837
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 2: in December, Okay, So she said, like, I'm just going

838
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 2: through a hard time right now because well, I don't

839
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 2: have that much time for myself. It feels like everything

840
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 2: is either taking care of the baby, taking care of

841
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 2: the house, or doing work. And I just kind of like,

842
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 2: don't know that we have advice on this butt like

843
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 2: we're there with you for anybody.

844
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 3: Out there in our in our and we're all in

845
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 3: this together.

846
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 4: Adams calls it, we're in the trenches, that's what he says.

847
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, when people ask like.

848
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 4: How are you, He's like, we're in the trenches, like

849
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:54,399
Speaker 4: we're in war right now. So we get it.

850
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like it's just the best of times and

851
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 3: the worst of times.

852
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is. And and I had this conversation the

853
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:05,720
Speaker 4: other day because it has been really hard on him,

854
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 4: and of course it's been hard on me too, but

855
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 4: way way more on Adam. And he said, you know,

856
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 4: I wouldn't mind another child. He's like, but it's just

857
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 4: so hard. And I told him, the time's going to

858
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 4: pass either way. None if you got pregnant next month,

859
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 4: nine months are going to pass regardless, So they're either

860
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 4: going to pass with you being pregnant or not. And

861
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:37,280
Speaker 4: it's it's it's it's such fleeting to think that time

862
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 4: time is going to stay with us forever, because it doesn't.

863
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,320
Speaker 4: So if you can just make it past nine months

864
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 4: that are already going to pass anyway, you can like

865
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 4: change your perspective on things. Because I was Adam was like, well,

866
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 4: if I had five more years before we had kids,

867
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 4: I could get this where, this, this place in my

868
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 4: career and all these things. I said, yeah, but you

869
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 4: would have wasted five years. I just feel like the

870
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 4: time was going to like we would have either started

871
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 4: family now and been in the trenches now, or we

872
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 4: would have started a family in five years and been

873
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 4: in the trenches in five years, if you know what

874
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 4: I mean. Oh, like there's no avoiding it. I guess. So,

875
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 4: but you're gonna get out. We're gonna see the light.

876
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 2: And I think the light is gonna come around like

877
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,799
Speaker 2: four where you're just like straight up and enjoying, right.

878
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, when they get Adam says, he asks everybody advice

879
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 4: all the time, and he's they tell him that when

880
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:43,359
Speaker 4: they can buckle themselves up in the seat in the car,

881
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 4: that like even in the car seat, that is like freedom, Yeah,

882
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 4: because you don't have to buckle them up. He's just like,

883
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 4: get in the car and they buckle themselves up. He's like, then,

884
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 4: then you know what freedom tastes like, because it's that

885
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 4: little baby step that it's just the baby noss is

886
00:46:59,320 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 4: almost over.

887
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 3: Sure, m h all right, I know I have to

888
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 3: let you go. In a second.

889
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 2: I do have one more question, but I also just

890
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 2: wanted to put out a little advice that I got

891
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 2: from people on Instagram when I brought up the whole, like, Okay,

892
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:11,720
Speaker 2: I was ready for one. I knew I was ready

893
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:13,799
Speaker 2: when I wanted to start, but now, like, how do

894
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 2: you know when you're ready for a second? And the

895
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 2: best advice I got was for multiple people saying similar things,

896
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 2: is said, you won't regret having another, but chances are

897
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:25,800
Speaker 2: if you don't have another, you're.

898
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 3: Going to regret not having the other. Yeah, yeah, okay.

899
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:34,279
Speaker 2: Final question is Adam does say that in the house

900
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 2: you're building that you're going to put like this third bedroom,

901
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,240
Speaker 2: a third kid bedroom in there. So for somebody who's

902
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 2: really like stressed out about all of this, he's open

903
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 2: to the idea of another one, would he want it

904
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 2: sooner rather than later so you don't have to do

905
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 2: those five years and then be like, oh gosh, we're

906
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 2: gonna start fresh again.

907
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:54,800
Speaker 4: Yes, he said that. When we it was really funny.

908
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 4: It was like leaning over the table looking at his

909
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 4: plans and he's like, oh, we could cut down square

910
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 4: if we got rid of and he like stared at

911
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 4: the fourth room for a really long time, and then

912
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 4: he was like, but if we have another one, and

913
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, so there's a chance, there's a

914
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 4: chance mine and he's like, oh right, and he's cussing

915
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 4: at me and stuff. He's like, I don't know if

916
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,919
Speaker 4: I'm ready for that, you know, all that stuff. He's

917
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,919
Speaker 4: like five minutes later, he's like, I like the name

918
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 4: Brock for you know, Brock Godshock.

919
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,959
Speaker 2: That sounds like that's actually pretty cool. He also sounds

920
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,800
Speaker 2: like a wrestler, Yeah.

921
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 4: Really athletic jock something. And I was like, okay, so

922
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 4: we it's in the back of his mind, so we'll see.

923
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:43,879
Speaker 4: But for right now, it's so hard to say you'll

924
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 4: have another one that's a newborn.

925
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, my goodness, no way.

926
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 2: All right, Well, I'm so excited that we're going to

927
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 2: put this out there and that like we got you

928
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 2: on the podcast to talk about all this stuff. It's

929
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:01,959
Speaker 2: just hearing the stuff makes me feel better as a mom.

930
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 3: So I know that.

931
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 4: We're I'm excited for you. Wow, Oh my.

932
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 3: Gosh, are you really me?

933
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:07,239
Speaker 4: Me?

934
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 3: I am.

935
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 4: I'm excited for you. And you know what if you,

936
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 4: if you do, you know, get pregnant, close in age

937
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 4: and all of that. One day they'll play together.

938
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:19,759
Speaker 3: Oh, I know.

939
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 2: I'm so excited about that because they're gonna I know

940
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 2: that he's gonna Dawson's gonna love playing with somebody. And

941
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 2: you know, some people say that the transitions easier to

942
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 2: a certain point, you know, after what you know, you know,

943
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 2: not the newborn new birthdays, but like once he starts

944
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 2: to interact and sit up straight, you know.

945
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,880
Speaker 4: Yes, excited for you. Thank you for having me on this.

946
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.

947
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 2: It's so fun me too, all right, I admire you

948
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 2: a ton. All right, we'll see you next time. Until then,

949
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 2: I've been Ashley.

950
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 3: Follow my lead.

951
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,359
Speaker 2: Oh I've been raven. Yeah you say, I've been raven.

952
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 2: It's like our weird sign off thing.

953
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 3: I make everybody feel awkward at the end. Okay, bye bye.

954
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on

955
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.