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Speaker 1: Welcome to had a Money. I'm Joel and I am Matt.

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Speaker 1: Today we're talking radical money advice for couples with the

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Speaker 1: Rad Coaches. Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 2: So today we have not just one, but two guests

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Speaker 2: joining us. The married duo behind Rad Coaches, Rebecca and Dylan,

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Speaker 2: And like a lot of Americans today, they found themselves

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Speaker 2: in a financial situation that they were less than thrilled with.

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Speaker 2: But what sets them apart is that they did something

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Speaker 2: about it. Shortly after getting engaged, they decided to take

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Speaker 2: control of their finances and over the next eighteen months,

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Speaker 2: they paid off over forty five thousand dollars of debts,

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Speaker 2: and during that process, Rebecca and Dylan they realized that

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Speaker 2: this sense of finance freedom that they were experiencing with

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Speaker 2: something that they wanted to share with other folks, and

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Speaker 2: thus Rad Coaches was born. They specifically work with couples

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Speaker 2: who are trying to find that balance between saving for

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Speaker 2: the future, designing and living the life that they want

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Speaker 2: to live now. And we're going to dive into some

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Speaker 2: better ways for couples to combine their money. We're going

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Speaker 2: to talk about what it means to be financially intimate,

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Speaker 2: but We're also going to talk about some other topics

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Speaker 2: as well, right, like whether or not women specifically need

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Speaker 2: financial advice that's catered to them. Dylan Rebecca, thank oll

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Speaker 2: so much for joining us today on the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for having much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're exciting to be here now. We're looking forward

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Speaker 1: to this chat as well. The first question we ask

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Speaker 1: everybody who comes on, and I don't know, you guys

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Speaker 1: are joined at the hips, so you can answer together

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Speaker 1: or separately however you can work. But it's like, what

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Speaker 1: is your craft beer equivalent? Because Matt and I we

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Speaker 1: spend more money than people think is natural. I guess

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Speaker 1: on craft beer sometimes and so that's just not natural, right,

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Speaker 1: I know who does that? But what is that for you? Guys?

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Speaker 1: What are you splourging on in the here and now

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Speaker 1: while you're also being wise and saving and investing too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, for us, it has been the same thing from

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Speaker 4: the very beginning, and it's two things. It's a travel

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Speaker 4: and gear.

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Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, I think even during our process, the one

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Speaker 3: bit of the story that you didn't share was that

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Speaker 3: during the process of paying off all the debt, we

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Speaker 3: didn't stop traveling and we really focus on balancing, taking

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Speaker 3: care of the really serious stuff, but also making sure

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Speaker 3: that there was a reward for what we were doing

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Speaker 3: along the way.

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Speaker 1: Which is so important. I mean, that's kind of what

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Speaker 1: the craft beer equivalent means in our estimation, is like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you're enjoying something along the way even while you're trying

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Speaker 1: to make these financial strides, and I think for some

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Speaker 1: people they maybe get buried into a spreadsheet of how

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Speaker 1: they can pay off their debt in the next twenty

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Speaker 1: two months, and that's a really long time to go

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Speaker 1: out go without doing anything that you love or enjoy.

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Speaker 1: If you're cutting back to that extreme, if.

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Speaker 4: It's even realistic, yeah, right, be sustainable, because I think

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Speaker 4: a lot of people will get just so gung ho

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Speaker 4: and so excited and they're like, I can totally do

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Speaker 4: this in twenty something months, and they burn out three

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Speaker 4: months in because it was just completely unsustainable.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So in particular, did y'all have some destinations that either

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Speaker 2: were your favorites or maybe it was a destination that

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Speaker 2: you weren't expecting a whole lot out of, but then

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Speaker 2: you got there and you're like.

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Speaker 1: This place is awesome.

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Speaker 5: Victoria, BC, though that was a very cool town. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 5: Victoria BC is super sick. I mean, we really like

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Speaker 5: so we quit our jobs after, you know, saving up

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Speaker 5: a ton of money after reaching debt freedom, and then

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Speaker 5: we spent like an extended summer just exploring the West

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Speaker 5: Coast and the PNW.

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Speaker 3: So it was sy.

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Speaker 1: You guys have said that you became experts by doing,

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Speaker 1: which is part of this debt payoff process, and Matt

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Speaker 1: and I were similar in that way. Right, we don't

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Speaker 1: have any fancy letters next to our names. But what

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Speaker 1: pushed you so hard in the personal finance direction and

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Speaker 1: then in the coaching direction. What made you say, no,

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Speaker 1: not only is this something we're proud that we've achieved,

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Speaker 1: but now we've got to make this kind of our vocation.

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Speaker 3: I think it came back to our relationship. Honestly makes

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Speaker 3: sense because we helped couples, but it was it all

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Speaker 3: started because how much it impacted our relationship in the

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Speaker 3: right way. When we when we got engaged, we realized, hey,

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Speaker 3: like this all this deck could really cause a problem

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Speaker 3: for us, so we need to do something about it.

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Speaker 3: And then as we did something about it and it

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Speaker 3: improved our lives and improved our relationship, we realized this

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Speaker 3: is awesome and we really wanted to help other people

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Speaker 3: have that same experience.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you just sometimes when you at least our personality,

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Speaker 4: when we find something that you know, really just makes

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Speaker 4: a big shift in our life, like we just have

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Speaker 4: to share it with people, and maybe some people find

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Speaker 4: it annoying. I don't know, but like, shut up, stop

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Speaker 4: trying to make me improve my life. But we really

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Speaker 4: love it. And it was just like we felt like

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Speaker 4: we had found something and a lot of people around

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Speaker 4: us had been struggling so much with their finances, you know,

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Speaker 4: we talk about in like our origin story that kind

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Speaker 4: of around the same time was like a government shut down.

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Speaker 4: We were working in a national park community and it

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Speaker 4: really was just impacting people so much much around us,

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Speaker 4: and we're like, we want to we want to help.

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Speaker 4: We want to really be a solution to this problem.

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Speaker 2: That's certainly at the core of what we do here,

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Speaker 2: just wanting other folks to have the freedom to actually

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Speaker 2: have some options. And y'all are all about that. You're

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Speaker 2: you're big on autonomy as well. We were talking before

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Speaker 2: we started that yell are up in the Adirondacks. You're

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Speaker 2: kind of doing the nomad life, but we all have choices.

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Speaker 2: To make, and those choices they always are going to

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Speaker 2: come with trade offs. Talk to us about an early

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Speaker 2: decision you made when you were renting that cost you

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Speaker 2: in terms of lifestyle, but it actually helped you to

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Speaker 2: catch your housing costs in half.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, moving to a dump. Yeah, Yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 3: It was super cute.

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Speaker 4: It was just really really old, and it was we

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Speaker 4: essentially we had just moved to Washington State and we

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Speaker 4: had to There was like only one place in the

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Speaker 4: whole area that was even for rent, but it was

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Speaker 4: like fifteen hundred dollars a month and it was more

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Speaker 4: than we needed. And then when we got engaged, we

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Speaker 4: decided to get really serious about paying off our debt.

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Speaker 4: And we were just like, we're hardly over home. We

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Speaker 4: would rather travel than just have this house that we're

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Speaker 4: don't spending time in. So we found some local landlords

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Speaker 4: that had just this really small location that ended up

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Speaker 4: being closer to our work anyway. And yeah, we got

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Speaker 4: our rent from fifteen hundred dollars to seven hundred dollars

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Speaker 4: real quick.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And that gave us a lot of freedom, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: a lot of freedom.

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Speaker 4: It really was the big thing that I think allowed

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Speaker 4: us to not have to sacrifice at all and the

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Speaker 4: things that mattered the most, like our travel and our gear.

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Speaker 1: Sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean if we talked about housing last

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Speaker 2: week with Chad Carson. He's huge in real estate, but

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Speaker 2: one of the way he got into it was that

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Speaker 2: he started house hacking and housing in particular, the steps

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Speaker 2: that we can take to reduce the largest line item

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Speaker 2: expense we have every single month. I think for a

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Speaker 2: lot of Americans, that is something that they're not willing.

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Speaker 1: To do, right.

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Speaker 2: I think like for whatever reason, it feels like this

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Speaker 2: untouchable thing. It's like it's like the meat Loaf song,

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Speaker 2: like I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that.

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Speaker 2: Like in this case, I'll do anything to save and

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Speaker 2: invest more money, but.

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Speaker 1: Don't touch my house. Yeah exactly.

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Speaker 2: But the ability, that's what I think most folks would

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Speaker 2: consider an extreme step in order to save more to

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Speaker 2: truly do the things that you want to do. We

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Speaker 2: applaud that, we love that.

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Speaker 4: Thanks, you know. I think it really comes down to,

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Speaker 4: I think a roadblock that a lot of people just

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Speaker 4: don't maybe realizing that unwillingness to do it. It's like

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Speaker 4: it's for a season, guys, you know, Yes, and if

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Speaker 4: I can do this for a season, then I'm able

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Speaker 4: to set myself up better in the future. And so

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Speaker 4: my future is going to be better if I'm willing

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Speaker 4: to make the sacrifice now. And like, if you can

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Speaker 4: realize that, if you can make that shift, pooh, you're

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Speaker 4: looking good.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't have to be permanent, Yes, exactly, in those bigger,

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Speaker 1: more significant ways in what you're able to save early on,

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Speaker 1: like that can have compounding effects down the road, right,

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Speaker 1: and funneling that into investments whatever. I mean, all this

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff that you can do by making some

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Speaker 1: bigger cuts now can mean that you can live much

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Speaker 1: more financially secure later on. I want to talk about specifically.

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Speaker 1: Want to talk about couples and money a lot on

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Speaker 1: this episode, but I wanted to start by asking you

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Speaker 1: guys too about a recent episode you released on handling

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Speaker 1: money well without a budget. I am kind of a

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Speaker 1: Matt's like an Excel spreadsheet nerd. He likes to bury

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Speaker 1: his nose in that thing, yes, sir, And I'm a

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Speaker 1: little more budget hesitant, even though, like my part of

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Speaker 1: my reason for achieving financial independence is so that I

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily have to be tied down to a budget,

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Speaker 1: even though I live frugally. But tell me, do you

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Speaker 1: guys think a budget is a necessity or not?

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Speaker 4: It is for a season, absolutely you have really. I

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Speaker 4: think that's what a lot of people maybe don't so

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Speaker 4: much understand is that you know by doing it at

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Speaker 4: least for a little while, so that you can know

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Speaker 4: your numbers and start to see what your spending habits

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Speaker 4: really are, know where things are going on a regular basis.

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Speaker 4: Eventually you can kind of set it and forget it,

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Speaker 4: but you really have to get to know your ins

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Speaker 4: and outs really well, get master that cash flow before

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Speaker 4: you can be very hands off. Like nowadays we are

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Speaker 4: extremely hands off and that's wonderful, but we've had to

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Speaker 4: pay our dues.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's definitely it's about understanding yourself and your

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Speaker 3: habits and behaviors with money. That's where the budget really

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Speaker 3: comes into play. In our mind, is that if you

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Speaker 3: can't make lasting change in your life, if you aren't

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Speaker 3: aware of your habits and behaviors, and so by budgeting,

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Speaker 3: especially if you haven't done it before you it becomes

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Speaker 3: glaringly obvious. Oh there's some things I could really change.

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Speaker 3: I could really improve my life right now, with my money,

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Speaker 3: and so you're able to just see things on paper,

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Speaker 3: which is so black and white and clear, and that's

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Speaker 3: so helpful. And then once you start to become consistent,

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Speaker 3: that's where you start to dial it back.

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Speaker 2: So, Rebecca, I mean you even mentioned this, but you

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Speaker 2: guys talk about cash flow and how that can honestly

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Speaker 2: sometimes how it can just be more important than actually

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Speaker 2: having a zero sum budget. Can you talk about cash

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Speaker 2: flow and the importance of that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean having freedom in your cash flow really

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Speaker 4: just means that you have money. After all of your

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Speaker 4: necessities are paid for and taken care of, you have money.

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Speaker 4: They's kind of that discretionary fund you can decide where's

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Speaker 4: going to go. And obviously, the more cash flow that

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Speaker 4: you have every month where you can say, Okay, I'm

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Speaker 4: going to put it towards this goal or that goal

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Speaker 4: or move it ord that's going to give you those

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Speaker 4: options that you talked about earlier, and that's going to

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Speaker 4: give you that ability to make really informed decisions on

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Speaker 4: whatever financial moves you want to make. And so we

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Speaker 4: also want to look at that in terms of finding

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Speaker 4: those opportunities to increase that cash flow so the budget

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Speaker 4: can be really helpful, and that like Dylan saying, when

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Speaker 4: you really stretch things out, line items and you're just like, oh, well,

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Speaker 4: I don't have fifty dollars to put towards my financial

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Speaker 4: goal this month. But if I look at my budget,

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Speaker 4: I can see three things that I could just like

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Speaker 4: trim some fat and that'll increase my cash flow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I like how you said that for a season or

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Speaker 2: for like a short period of time for you to

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Speaker 2: be able to kind of face the facts. This kind

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Speaker 2: of reminds me I kind of got to really obsessed

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Speaker 2: with time, like time management and just the amount of

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Speaker 2: time while spending on different tasks. Yes, he did not

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Speaker 2: surprising that the guy that knows where every opinion that

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Speaker 2: he's spent over the past fifteen years. Also, that's your

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Speaker 2: style dove into time. But what I found was that

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Speaker 2: it wasn't something I needed to do continually, but I

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Speaker 2: did need to kind of face the facts and be like,

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Speaker 2: where is my time going? What am I actually doing?

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Speaker 2: What do I now have room for? And I think

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Speaker 2: that can totally be true when it comes to your budget.

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Speaker 1: It's like what Candy crushed two hours to take?

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Speaker 2: Oh man, if only Yeah, I guess I'm I'm pointing

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Speaker 2: at the fact that it can be temporary, how it

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Speaker 2: can be maybe a wake up call to help folks

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Speaker 2: to realize, no, some of these things that we say

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Speaker 2: we can't do or you can't afford actually are within reach,

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Speaker 2: but it takes knowing where your money is actually going.

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Speaker 2: But I think one of the things too with cash

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Speaker 2: flow is that it can as you increase your income,

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Speaker 2: I think it also kind of reduces your need for

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Speaker 2: a budget because all of a sudden you've got income,

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Speaker 2: Like you've got more income, more disposable income, and that

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Speaker 2: kind of solves the problem because if you are cash

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Speaker 2: strapped and every single penny needs to go to specific things,

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Speaker 2: you don't have room, you don't have any wiggle room

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Speaker 2: to be able to do that.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, there are people earning six

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Speaker 1: figures who are living paycheck to paycheck because the extra

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Speaker 1: income tikes the problem either.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's totally I mean, lifestyle and is such a

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Speaker 4: thing and a lot of people really struggle with it.

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Speaker 4: I mean, we work with plenty of folks who know

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Speaker 4: they earn significant incomes and they just it gets chewed

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Speaker 4: up really quick. Any bonus gets chewed up so fast,

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Speaker 4: and so I think this is where we can kind of,

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Speaker 4: as you know, personal finance experts get take it for

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Speaker 4: granted that our mindset is so solid and our habits

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Speaker 4: are so solid. We're like, oh, yeah, Like if I

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Speaker 4: just have more money, like because I'm so fixed on

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Speaker 4: my expenses and like I know what I'm doing, then

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Speaker 4: if I don't have a savings problem, I have an

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Speaker 4: income problem, I can just earn more money and then

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Speaker 4: like I'm off to the races. But that's because you've

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Speaker 4: got all that other stuff dialed. So it's really interesting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm thinking about bikes because y'all are talking about

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Speaker 2: spending money on gear outdoor gear, Like it makes me

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Speaker 2: think of like I recently tuned my bike, the bike

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Speaker 2: that I ride to work every day, and man, it

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Speaker 2: runs so much better now, like I got it dialed in.

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Speaker 2: The derailers are like like going rights exactly where they

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Speaker 2: need to go. But you could tune your bike all

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Speaker 2: you want, but that doesn't replace the need to actually

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Speaker 2: get on your bike and pedal it and to have

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Speaker 2: the muscle and the strength to actually propel that thing forward. Certainly,

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Speaker 2: I can bike in a way that is more efficient

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Speaker 2: now but all the bike tuning in the world isn't

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Speaker 2: going to make me a healthy stronger.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't turn you into Lance Armstrong. No.

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 2: And in the same way, you could sit down and

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Speaker 2: spend an inordinate amount of time on a budget. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but it's only going to get you so far. It'll

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Speaker 2: streamline things and it can some efficiency in real life,

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Speaker 2: Like can you abide by it?

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Speaker 1: And does it? Does it make it realistic? Yeah? Let's

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Speaker 1: talk about marital or a couple money stuff too, like,

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Speaker 1: and I have like a chicken and egg question here,

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Speaker 1: because you guys have been counseling couples for a few

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Speaker 1: years now. In your estimation, are money issues the symptom

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Speaker 1: of deeper issues going on? And like, but if those

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Speaker 1: money problems were to let's say, get resolved, or you

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Speaker 1: get on the same page as a couple on the

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Speaker 1: money thing and have healthier savings in there, does that

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Speaker 1: fix I don't know. Is it more emotional relational or

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Speaker 1: is it more of a money problem or is it

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Speaker 1: like both time thaneously?

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Speaker 3: I would say it's both simultaneously.

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Speaker 1: Yea.

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Speaker 3: But because money can bring up problems from within that

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Speaker 3: you don't know are there. But also you could just

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Speaker 3: have a full on, like you just have a lot

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Speaker 3: of debt and that's just that's a flat out money problem, right, sure,

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Speaker 3: so it can be a little bit of both.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think it's just an interesting thing when

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Speaker 4: two people who have lived completely separate lives, you know,

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Speaker 4: at least for most you know, probably most of their

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Speaker 4: life before they met, are trying to now become one

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Speaker 4: and really learn how to make financial decisions together when

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Speaker 4: you haven't ever had to do that, you know, And

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Speaker 4: that's just really challenging. And so you do have to

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Speaker 4: make the logic and the emotions line up. And then

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Speaker 4: you add in the fact that most people you know

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Speaker 4: don't have the level of financial literacy to make really

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Speaker 4: good financial decisions, and so you both are just maybe

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Speaker 4: arguing about opinions. But I can come in with facts

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Speaker 4: and I can say, hey, but no, this is really

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Speaker 4: the way you need to do it, and then they

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Speaker 4: can that helps them like align.

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Speaker 3: All of those things at once.

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Speaker 4: But it really is it really is both things, for sure,

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Speaker 4: because you're working on the well, how do I improve

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Speaker 4: my financial situation? But also how do I trust you more?

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Speaker 4: You know, how do I make sure that like I

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Speaker 4: feel good about.

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Speaker 2: This yeah, because in that way, obviously that would be

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Speaker 2: the example that you'll gave of money fights just being

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Speaker 2: a symptom of maybe some underlying unhealth or maybe just

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Speaker 2: a lack of communication. We're gonna, I guess, talk a

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Speaker 2: little bit more about that, But I guess I'm curious.

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Speaker 2: Have you had different clients, so different couples that have

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Speaker 2: come to y'all, so y'all coach couples, You walk them

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Speaker 2: through your plan, you help them to get on the

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Speaker 2: same page. How often are you saying, Okay, there are

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Speaker 2: actually deeper issues here at route and money truly isn't

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Speaker 2: the problem, and what it what it's going to take,

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Speaker 2: is something beyond what it is that we're going to

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Speaker 2: talk about here is I guess I'm just curious if

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Speaker 2: that comes up often?

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Speaker 1: You ever, like we got to escalate this super pro

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Speaker 1: you know, I think.

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Speaker 4: We've been I've been We've been pretty lucky and that

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Speaker 4: we haven't had had that, And I don't know if

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Speaker 4: that's just part of our process of you know, who

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Speaker 4: comes to us and the mindset that they're really in.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, you know, we're not a substitute for a therapy,

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Speaker 4: and and you know, if you can't be in the

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Speaker 4: same room as each other, then we shouldn't be talking

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Speaker 4: about money. There's other things going on. So I think

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Speaker 4: there is an order of events for certain folks, but

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Speaker 4: I haven't necessarily had to been like, Okay, let's pump

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Speaker 4: the brakes and here's the number of a relationship therapists.

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Speaker 4: Go talk to them and then come back and see me.

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Speaker 1: No, that's good to hear. And yeah, but I love

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Speaker 1: that you're combining both because money incorporates there's so many

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Speaker 1: ways it impacts us, and so much of it comes

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Speaker 1: down as well to our money histories, right, and then

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Speaker 1: us being able to recognize how our partner relates to

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Speaker 1: money so that we can see them correctly and not

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Speaker 1: just assume the worst. I think that's sometimes what happens

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Speaker 1: is an inability to kind of see our partner in that.

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Speaker 1: So I think we do need the both and approach,

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Speaker 1: which I love that you guys are providing. But we've

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Speaker 1: got more questions to get to with the rad coaches,

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Speaker 1: specifically on how couples can combine finances and then what

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Speaker 1: it looks like to kind of like both put in

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Speaker 1: the work and do it together. We'll get to some

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Speaker 1: some questions on that right after this.

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Speaker 2: All right, we are back from the break talking with

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Speaker 2: Rebecca and Dylan. Okay, something just dawn on me and

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Speaker 2: maybe other folks have already caught on.

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Speaker 1: So y'all are rad coaches.

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Speaker 2: Y'all combined your names, Rebecca and Dylan.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we were really lazy when we named our business.

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Speaker 1: I just literally just realized that.

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Speaker 2: Well, Joel just hinted at you, we're gonna talk about

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Speaker 2: combining finances. But yeah, literally, yeah, you combine your names

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Speaker 2: and thus the name of your business. And I think

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Speaker 2: that's totally fine because yeah, I like red, someone would

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Speaker 2: say adorable.

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Speaker 3: It could be worse if we went d n R. Like,

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Speaker 3: that's too bleak. We can't do that. That one didn't work.

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Speaker 1: Dark Coaches. Yeah, it's kind of get like a Star

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Speaker 1: Wars Darth.

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Speaker 3: Vader, like do not resuscitate?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Is that what?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, medical stuff potentially bad. Okay, gotta wear

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Speaker 2: the special bracelet for that in case. That's right out right,

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Speaker 2: but literally, seriously, like, one of the biggest money questions

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Speaker 2: that couples face is whether or not they should combine

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Speaker 2: their finance.

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Speaker 1: Is what are you all thoughts on that?

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Speaker 3: I definitely think that combining finances is the best thing

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Speaker 3: to do in your relationship with money, because it it

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Speaker 3: really just creates absolute transparency because everything's in one place,

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Speaker 3: you get to see it all. But it also helps

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Speaker 3: with managing the money because I'm not opening up six

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Speaker 3: different bank accounts because I got my set and Rebecca's

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Speaker 3: got her set. So it also creates simplicity when you're

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Speaker 3: doing your budget and your cash flow and you're just

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Speaker 3: trying to check all your accounts. And then, like one

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Speaker 3: other little thing that I've always noticed is that whenever

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Speaker 3: you have an account, there's always a small amount of

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Speaker 3: money that you want to keep in that account. So

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Speaker 3: every account's got like a little deposit in it. When

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Speaker 3: you have less of those accounts, there's less of this

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Speaker 3: money trailing.

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Speaker 2: I really thought about that. Yeah, just like the wasted money, right,

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Speaker 2: it makes me. For the longest time I had, I

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Speaker 2: still hung onto a checking into savings with one of

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Speaker 2: the big brick and mortars that will go unnamed, But

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Speaker 2: I was so happy to finally close that thing out

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Speaker 2: because they require a minimum balance in order to not

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Speaker 2: be charge the monthly fees.

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Speaker 1: But there's also something really powerful about combining to right,

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Speaker 1: a shared goal, a shared sense of purpose and focus.

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Speaker 1: Does that do you feel like that's part of it too?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, yeah. I mean, and this is something that we

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Speaker 4: would never we never force anybody to do. You know,

441
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 4: it's not like, you know, this is the way we

442
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 4: teach it and that's how you've got to do it.

443
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,959
Speaker 4: But you know, definitely in our lived experience and with

444
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,919
Speaker 4: our clients that we have coached that have done this,

445
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 4: it absolutely helps them work so much faster towards their goals.

446
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 4: They get so much more aligned and committed to what

447
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,920
Speaker 4: they're trying to do together, and it really just helps

448
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 4: both people get on that same page. And when, like

449
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,360
Speaker 4: Dylan said, when you both have that transparency, that access

450
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,919
Speaker 4: to those accounts and you can you know, kind of

451
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 4: trade places of who's going to deal with the money

452
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 4: management this month or you know whatever, and you can

453
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 4: kind of do that together, it just makes things so

454
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 4: much easier and you really feel like you're a united front.

455
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:02,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sometimes I think and you're in a partnership somebody

456
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 1: it tends to be more independent. Sometimes there's a tendency

457
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 1: in the couples where they might develop some codependency as well.

458
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,360
Speaker 1: But you guys talk about kind of the third way

459
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 1: in the middle, which I think is a beautiful way

460
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,919
Speaker 1: of thinking about it, being more interdependent. Why why is

461
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 1: that like the powerful approach the best way for couples

462
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 1: to kind of think about combining forces.

463
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,360
Speaker 4: I think it really just comes down to just kind

464
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 4: of to maybe paint a picture for you, It's like,

465
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 4: whenever you're talking to Dylan, you're talking to me. Whenever

466
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 4: you're talking to me, you're talking to Dylan. We're going

467
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 4: to be making decisions just as such a unit that

468
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,919
Speaker 4: when we have this interdependence, it's not you know, I

469
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 4: rely on him or he relies on me, or you know,

470
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 4: one of us is really operating by ourselves. But we're

471
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 4: both at the table and we're both having conversations, and

472
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 4: we both feel as though, you know, our voice is

473
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 4: being heard. And I think that's what's really the most

474
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,920
Speaker 4: important thing, and that a lot of people are really

475
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 4: scared of in that codependency sort of thing. They want

476
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,399
Speaker 4: to be heard, they don't want to be controlled, and

477
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 4: they just want to be valued.

478
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 3: And I was going to say that, like, when you're

479
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,680
Speaker 3: in that interdependent space, you get the benefits of both

480
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,719
Speaker 3: of those things, like codependence and independence. I don't want

481
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 3: to say there's a benefit of codependency necessarily, but like

482
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 3: you don't have the negative side of it either. So

483
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 3: we have so much trust in our relationship that there's

484
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 3: a lot of freedom. Like people fear connecting and like

485
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 3: coming in together, maybe because they want to they don't

486
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 3: want to lose their independence or they don't want to

487
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 3: become codependent. But what ends up happening is when you

488
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 3: truly trust somebody with their finances, you don't. I don't

489
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 3: check in on Rebecca and go like, what did you

490
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 3: spend that money on? Like I know she's she has

491
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,159
Speaker 3: our best interest at heart, that we're working together on

492
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 3: these goals, and like we do have independence to go

493
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 3: out and spend money how we like to. We set

494
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,640
Speaker 3: that up in our relationship and our budget every month

495
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 3: and we say, you get to spend money however you

496
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 3: want up to like a certain dollar amount. And so

497
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 3: it creates that freedom and flexibility that a lot of

498
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 3: people crave and I think are afraid of losing. But

499
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 3: it also eliminates that codependency where you're like attached to

500
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 3: the hip and clingy.

501
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,119
Speaker 4: Well, and I think that there's people get things a

502
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 4: little bit twisted, and they think codependent. But I like

503
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,199
Speaker 4: to know that I can rely on my partner.

504
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, I like.

505
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 4: To know that when I don't have the ball, Dylan's

506
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 4: got the ball and I don't have to second guess

507
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 4: that at all. So let's just swap that word, you know,

508
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 4: let's not talk about like, oh, I don't want to

509
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,239
Speaker 4: be codependent, but I do want to be able to

510
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 4: rely on my partner. And that's really something that I mean,

511
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 4: you just you can't put a dollar amount.

512
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 2: On that, and that's certainly something that you get. I mean,

513
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 2: that transparency that you get by combining your money. That's

514
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 2: kind of one of the inherent things. Because otherwise I'm

515
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 2: curious too if y'all how often y'all have dealt with

516
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,359
Speaker 2: financial infidelity? Right as far as when you've got different

517
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 2: couples coming in and maybe their money isn't combined, and

518
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 2: it turns out that one of them has a gaming problem.

519
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 2: It turns out one of them spending all this money

520
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 2: in a way that the other partner didn't realize.

521
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 1: How do you address that? It kind of seems like

522
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 1: a thorny issue.

523
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think again, that's another thing that like We

524
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 4: teach about it a lot, but a lot of times

525
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 4: the people who we actually sit down working with they

526
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 4: don't really do that. I think it has to do with,

527
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 4: you know, the mindset of the person who's going to

528
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 4: sit down with a coach is different than someone who's

529
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 4: maybe doing that right, like, because they're not going to

530
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 4: be like, oh, hey, yeah, I gamble on the side,

531
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 4: let's sign up for a financial coach, you know what

532
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 4: I mean. Like, so, I think we kind of naturally

533
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 4: rule those things out. But at the same time, I

534
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,199
Speaker 4: think low key financial infidelity does rear its head in

535
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 4: the form of secret expenses and you know, oh, I

536
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,359
Speaker 4: went to Target, but I'll just hide the bags. Oh

537
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 4: I'll you know, just like spent I'll buy extra craft beer,

538
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:39,640
Speaker 4: but I'll put it in the grocery bill instead, y'all.

539
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 1: I feel like, actually, right now, no.

540
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 3: It's not y'all. We actually heard that from somebody once.

541
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 4: Not calling anybody out, but I'm just saying, but those

542
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 4: are the things that like that that people that people

543
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 4: do and it's low key, but it is. It is

544
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 4: a legit thing, right, and so it's it's just something

545
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 4: to be a way, And I think really just get

546
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 4: to the root of like why are we doing that?

547
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 4: Why do we feel like we have to hide these

548
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 4: things and that there isn't enough freedom within your budget

549
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 4: to go to target, or why do you have or

550
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 4: just let's focus on the real thing of like is

551
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 4: there a shopping problem here? You know, different things like that.

552
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 4: So he's usually just a symptom, all right.

553
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: So we're talking about interdependence, and so it makes me

554
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 1: think of when you're combining your you're getting everything in

555
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 1: one account or whatever. But I've heard I've heard some

556
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 1: couples say, oh, my spouse still has debt the or

557
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: student loan debt or something like that, that she's got

558
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 1: to pay off or that he's got to pay off.

559
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 1: And that always struck me as weird because in my mind,

560
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 1: you get married and it's like me debt is sue debt, right,

561
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 1: like we're all we're all in this together, and so

562
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: talk talk to me about that the assets and the liabilities.

563
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 1: How do you encourage couples to think about that conundrum,

564
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: especially if they're marrying someone and they're like, I did

565
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 1: the right thing, I paid my student loans off, and

566
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 1: but my partner, well, he still got seventy five k

567
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 1: lingering around. I don't want that to be my problem.

568
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great question, and we've had personal experience

569
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 3: in that and definitely helped couples navigate this. I came

570
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,920
Speaker 3: to the relationship with most of that forty five thousand

571
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 3: dollars worth of debt. I was the problem. Yeah, But

572
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 3: I think what ends up happening is it just you'll

573
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 3: see it differently with couples. Like some couples there's the

574
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 3: person who has the debt could be really concerned about

575
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 3: wanting to get help because it's like, this is my problem.

576
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 3: I don't want you to have to deal with this. Yeah,

577
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 3: you don't want to be a burden. And then it

578
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 3: could be the other way around, where the other person

579
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 3: is like Rebecca, She's like, well, I took care of

580
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 3: my stuff and this is kind of scary, like and

581
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 3: so it really comes down to this is where you

582
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 3: really have to communicate and talk and build that trust

583
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 3: with the person, and they're going to have to see

584
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 3: your actions and say, okay, like me, I was, I

585
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 3: was on top of things. I was communicating what I had,

586
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 3: it wasn't a secret debt, and I was paying my

587
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,439
Speaker 3: bills on time and it wasn't like Rebecca was going

588
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 3: to take over this for me. I do think it's

589
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 3: more of the other way around, where people don't want

590
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 3: to burden their spouse with this when you end up

591
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 3: having debt, like your spouse has debt too, and whether

592
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 3: you want to admit it or not, working on it

593
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 3: together will make your life better because once that's gone,

594
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 3: both of you get to reward. You both get to

595
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 3: like take advantage of that reward.

596
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, working with couples in this situation, really the name

597
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 4: of the game is getting them both to getting them

598
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 4: to realize that it's holding them both back. Regardless of

599
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,719
Speaker 4: whose debt it is, it's holding them both back because

600
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 4: the person with that debt that maybe they're being feeling

601
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 4: like they have to deal with it by themselves. That's

602
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 4: hurting how much cashflow they have in a given month

603
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 4: to do whatever they want to do, to feel like

604
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 4: they want to buy the house that you want to buy,

605
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 4: to feel like they can travel, to feel like they

606
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 4: can do any of these other things because they're stuck

607
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 4: still paying for the past. And so the longer the

608
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 4: faster you can get the couple to understand that like this,

609
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 4: even whether it's in my name or not. This is

610
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 4: still holding us back as a couple, and I don't

611
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 4: get to do the things that I want to do

612
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 4: with my spouse. Okay, Then as soon as they realize that,

613
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 4: it's like, Okay, let's get this out of here and

614
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 4: let's start building our future.

615
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's what's so great about yeah looking forward?

616
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 2: And I kind of want to ask you two questions.

617
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 2: I want to ask about what it looks like to

618
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 2: look forward and build that future. But I want to

619
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 2: go back a little bit too, when we were talking

620
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 2: about the negative connotation that comes with codependency. But you're

621
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,919
Speaker 2: talking about if I don't have the ball, and I'll

622
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 2: make sure that Dylan's got the ball. And you're kind

623
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 2: of talking about some of the tasks that maybe you

624
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 2: pass back and forth, you know, on different months, how

625
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 2: do y'all go about doing that?

626
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:30,880
Speaker 4: Right?

627
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 2: Like, how do you divide some of those money management chores?

628
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 2: Because I think a lot of times there is one

629
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 2: partner in the relationship and that they might be better

630
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:42,160
Speaker 2: or they're more interested than the other. How involved should

631
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 2: the uninterested partner be when it comes to the practical

632
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 2: things that you got to do?

633
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, So, first and foremost, you know, where we're at

634
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 4: is not where we started, you know, so like the

635
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 4: being able to pass the ball back and forth, like

636
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 4: one month, maybe you know, Dylan's like, hey, I got

637
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,640
Speaker 4: the budget, don't worry about it. You know, I did

638
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 4: a review and I created next month and it's like

639
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 4: all right, cool, or hey, I did the mid month

640
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 4: check in. Just let you know, like we're looking good,

641
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 4: but let's get scrappy in the kitchen, you know, those

642
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 4: sorts of conversations, right, And that's the extent of it.

643
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 4: We look at our budget maybe twice a month now,

644
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,439
Speaker 4: but in the beginning, you both do need to be

645
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 4: there and whether one person is kind of putting a

646
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 4: skeleton budget together and then but you're reviewing it together

647
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 4: and you're saying, you know, having that communication of oh,

648
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 4: hey that looks great, but the kids have soccer, so

649
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 4: like we need to put that so maybe let's reallocate

650
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 4: some funds, you know, and let's just make sure that

651
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 4: everybody knows what is going to happen and needs to happen,

652
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 4: so that it's realistic and you can actually execute the plan.

653
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 4: But when folks tend to divide it and conquer when

654
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 4: they're just getting started. That can be challenging for the

655
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 4: right hand to know what the left hand is doing,

656
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 4: and that can create a big source of friction. For like, hey,

657
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 4: but I created this budget and I was like, great,

658
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 4: but I wasn't there, so I didn't know.

659
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: You didn't ask for Mike, you cut all the craft

660
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: beer out.

661
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 2: Man.

662
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: You want the other person to buy into the program

663
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 3: as well. So if I'm building the budget and I'm like, Rebecca,

664
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 3: you get fifty dollars as moth as, she might say,

665
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 3: like you can take it where the sundone shining, she

666
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 3: might be very she might be very upside with that. So, like,

667
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 3: if we work together and we want to do exactly,

668
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 3: so if we agree that we both get fifty dollars,

669
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 3: that's different than me saying this is all you get.

670
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 4: And so I don't want to feel like I'm on an

671
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 4: allowance with my husband, right.

672
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 3: Sure, And so having both people there gets the buy

673
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,479
Speaker 3: in from both sides, and you're more likely to, especially

674
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 3: if you're working on big goals, get there as a team.

675
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 3: Then you know the other person sabotaging the goal that

676
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 3: you have in your own mind.

677
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: All right, talk to me about financial intimacy. I've seen

678
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: you guys use that phrase, and it sounds a little

679
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: daunting when I heard it, but it's also it makes

680
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: me think of that this could be a really beautiful thing, right,

681
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: not that we're just connecting on the dollars in the cents,

682
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,719
Speaker 1: but that we have the ability to build something deeper

683
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 1: and more meaningful around our money, like to almost bring

684
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: our relationships, for our relationship on towards bigger and better things.

685
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: So what is financial intimacy and how can couples improve

686
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: their financial intimacy levels?

687
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 3: I'll love Rebecca to find it because if you guys

688
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 3: listen to that episode, I like, I'm not the best

689
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 3: at defining it. I know it when I see it, though.

690
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 2: I know.

691
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, So financial intimacy is really just a lot of

692
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 4: what we've been talking about, right, is this ability to

693
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 4: communicate effectively about financial topics, to be really vulnerable and

694
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 4: transparent with your spouse, knowing that you're not going to

695
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 4: be judged, that you're going to be met with grace

696
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 4: and not shamed or talked down to like oh you.

697
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 3: Should How do you not know this?

698
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 4: You know this is basic finance or something like that, right,

699
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 4: you know that when you talk to your spouse about

700
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 4: financial topics that you're able to come to them just

701
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 4: really honestly and openly, and you're going to have a

702
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 4: productive conversation that's going to meet you where you're at.

703
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 4: So and that really does help. Like you said, Bolster,

704
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 4: I think just overall intimacy, because when we can do

705
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 4: that for each other in this really hard area of life,

706
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 4: this topic that's challenging for a lot of people to

707
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 4: talk about, then that's going to show me that, well,

708
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 4: I can talk to you about other really hard things

709
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 4: and I'm going to be met in that same way

710
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 4: with grace and not being judged and shamed, but just

711
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 4: loved and we're going to get through this together.

712
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 1: Do you have practical advice for what that can look like? Dylan?

713
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,719
Speaker 1: Dylan said, he knows it when he sees it right,

714
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: And so what does that look like in practicality? Because

715
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: I would imagine in the moment when your partner has

716
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: maybe blown the budget or things didn't work out that

717
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: month like you thought they were going to. What is that?

718
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 1: What does that look like in the day to day?

719
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 3: Well, I think first and foremost, like one of the

720
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: things Rebecca said, and we can't undervalue it. Enough is

721
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 3: the willing to talk about money, Like, not enough people

722
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 3: talk about money in general. That's why we have podcasts

723
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 3: talking about money. But in the relationship, people avoid the

724
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 3: conversation because it's awkward, it's tense. They don't know how

725
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 3: their partner is going to respond. So just having productive

726
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 3: conversations or working towards those conversations is a big piece

727
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 3: to financial intimacy is just being able to share. And actually,

728
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 3: that's like the other thing I thought of is sharing, Like,

729
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 3: it's not Rebecca's income and my income, it's our income.

730
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 3: It's not her checking account, it's our checking account. It's

731
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,640
Speaker 3: not my debt, it's our debt. It's not her investments,

732
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 3: it's our investments. Although it's kind of like Rebecca kind

733
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 3: of got the short end of the stick because I

734
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 3: had the debt and she had the investments.

735
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 4: But I mean it was like that.

736
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 3: It was kind of like that at first, but you know,

737
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: I stepped up to the plate.

738
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 2: Obviously, I'm sure y'all talk about this all the time.

739
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 2: This is something that folks recommend, but money dates, right,

740
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 2: the ability to actually carve out some time for folks

741
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 2: to do that, it's something that We've recommended even on

742
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 2: our show, right where you are being intentional with the

743
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,239
Speaker 2: time that you're spending together to have some of these

744
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 2: harder conversations. Do you think though, that at some point

745
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 2: money dates, like maybe the goal is for money dates

746
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: to not even be necessary, because practically speaking, I think

747
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 2: about how Kate and I talk about money, and this

748
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 2: is from day one. I mean even before we got married.

749
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,959
Speaker 2: We were you know, we went to a financial conference

750
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 2: before we got married because I was kind of like, okay,

751
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:26,959
Speaker 2: I'm a nerd and I need to make sure that

752
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 2: you that were kind of on the same page that

753
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 2: we have a shared language to talk about this. And

754
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 2: so literally month one we were these were the kind

755
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 2: of this is the kind of language that we're using today.

756
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 2: It's like symbiotic. It's a normal person date. It's not

757
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: a money date. It's just like a it's it's because

758
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: we're so in sync. Like you said, it's symbiotic and

759
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: we're feeding off each other and it's something that just

760
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 2: kind of comes up naturally. I guess it's a two

761
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 2: part question, what do you think about money dates? But

762
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 2: then do you think it at some point should become

763
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 2: so natural that maybe folks aren't even having money dates anymore.

764
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, money dates are necessary, especially again for those who

765
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 4: are just getting started. They're working to get on the

766
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 4: same page. They want to have that symbiotic, interdependent relationship

767
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 4: where they don't have any questions about what's happening. But

768
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 4: you know, even still, I think as you move on,

769
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 4: as you're doing big stuff with your life, and then

770
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 4: you still have to have those money dates, you know,

771
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 4: at least on a couple every couple months, you know,

772
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 4: because you should not just be reviewing your budget, right,

773
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,720
Speaker 4: you should be looking at your investments and talking about

774
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 4: how they're doing, and you know what's going on, and

775
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 4: I or to have this new opportunity that I want

776
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 4: to look into what's going on with the business in

777
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 4: our case, in a lot of couples cases, those sorts

778
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 4: of things. Like so the money dates keep going, the

779
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:43,280
Speaker 4: topic just I think changes.

780
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that, and like you get better

781
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 3: at the day to day stuff, so you're not talking

782
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 3: about that as much. But I would consider talking about

783
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 3: the budget for the vacation. Six months from now is

784
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 3: a money date. We're deciding how much we're going to

785
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 3: put into that pot, how much we're willing to spend,

786
00:34:58,480 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 3: how much we're willing to save. Maybe we're going to

787
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 3: cash flow, we're going to make those decisions, and that

788
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 3: would be that'd be a money date in my mind.

789
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 4: And it's really when they become way more fun, right

790
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 4: because when you're in the weeds, you're in the thick

791
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 4: of it, and you're you're doing those goals that aren't

792
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 4: so fun, the saving, the paying off debt. You know,

793
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 4: you're in the grind. Those are a little bit like, okay, yeah,

794
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 4: we're making progress, and that feels good, but it's still

795
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 4: a little bit it's still pretty challenging, but.

796
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: It's less like playing whack a mole and more like

797
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 1: talking about hopes and dreams and giving that that optimism

798
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: side of money that can be exciting fun.

799
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 4: Yes, And this is where the life design stuff comes

800
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 4: into place, because now you gave yourself the flexibility to

801
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 4: have these options, and now you get to say, all right, cool,

802
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 4: well we're not stuck anymore, so what do we want

803
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 4: our life to look like? And that's so cool?

804
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 1: Okay, so I take it back.

805
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 2: I guess every year, So to me, what you just

806
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:51,320
Speaker 2: described is our year in finance review where we close

807
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 2: out the previous year, we look at how things.

808
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: Did you know we're talking about that stuff too. It

809
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 1: just doesn't look as formal anymore, I guess.

810
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 3: So.

811
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:57,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

812
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: I mean again, we talk about it during quote unquote,

813
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 2: it's not normal people dates, it's not money data. We're

814
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: now going to have a money date that right penciled

815
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 2: in on the calendar. It's just a part of our life.

816
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 2: But we do have a more formal sit down there,

817
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 2: certainly at the end of the year and as we're

818
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 2: looking ahead to the next year in particular and saying,

819
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,919
Speaker 2: all right, this is what it felt like last year.

820
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 2: Do we need to allocate more funds towards this or

821
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 2: do we need to spend less towards this what's on

822
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 2: the horizon? But uh yeah, I love how how y'all

823
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: are talking about this.

824
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 1: And I love the way they recommend.

825
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 3: I love the way that y'all are doing it. And

826
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 3: that sounds like that's the goal, right is we want

827
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 3: to get to the point where we don't think about

828
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 3: money all the time. It's like money's an obsession when

829
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: it's stressful and things aren't going well. But it'd be

830
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 3: great if we didn't have to talk about it as much,

831
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 3: but you got to put the work in and you

832
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 3: got to be very intentional. It's like I got to

833
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 3: think about it so I don't have to think about it. Yeah.

834
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 4: I actually listen to all most recent episode with your

835
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 4: Spouse's and you know, just as I was listening it

836
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 4: to it and like, this is exactly what you What

837
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,399
Speaker 4: you have is goals, and that is what we work

838
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 4: to help people get to.

839
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 1: Hashtag relationship Seriously though, it's true.

840
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 4: I mean when it comes to at least you know,

841
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 4: in this in this sphere in particular, having that sort

842
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 4: of healthy relationship with money with your spouse is absolutely

843
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,319
Speaker 4: the goal, and so we help people get there.

844
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 1: I think one thing that episode showed was that it

845
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: can look different too, right, Like Matt in Kate's relationship

846
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 1: is so different than the relationship that Emily and I

847
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 1: have together and how we talk and think about money

848
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 1: and how we manage it on the day to day,

849
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: And so I think there's more flex in the like

850
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: what it can look like as you flush it out

851
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 1: as a couple than maybe some people would lead you

852
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: to belief, like he does, oposed to like a set

853
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 1: prescribed method doesn't have to be one size.

854
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, Yeah, you just have to find what works for

855
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 4: you and make sure that both people feel like they're

856
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:45,280
Speaker 4: being heard, respected and they know what's going on totally.

857
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

858
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,240
Speaker 2: Okay, Dylan, you said the goal isn't to be obsessed

859
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 2: with money, right, Yes, Well, we're actually gonna ask you

860
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 2: about that because y'all specifically you've got a business as

861
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: a couple that fully revolves around money. To ask you

862
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 2: some about that here so much side after the break.

863
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 1: We're back from the break. We're still talking with Rebecca

864
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 1: and Dylan, the awesome married folks behind rad Coaches, and

865
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,240
Speaker 1: we're going to get to that question about money. This question,

866
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 1: I am very curious to hear the answer. But guys,

867
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: first off, like gender roles have of course shifted quite

868
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 1: a bit over the past few decades. Women are bringing

869
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: home the bacon. Women are thriving in the United States

870
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,720
Speaker 1: of America when you look at how much they graduate

871
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 1: from college more but more than men right now, right,

872
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 1: And so, how do those shifting patterns impact the money

873
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 1: dynamics and the discussions in a relationship compared to the

874
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:48,919
Speaker 1: way those discussions used to take place twenty thirty years ago.

875
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 4: You know, I think as you were saying that question,

876
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 4: something just kind of dawned on me. I think the

877
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 4: really it just shows how whoever makes the money, I

878
00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 4: think is assumed like they should have the say. I

879
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,879
Speaker 4: think that that's a pretty consistent thing that I do

880
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 4: see actually a lot so within that then, I think

881
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 4: it's just people figuring out again, like we're saying what

882
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 4: works for them, and when it comes to just I

883
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 4: think the biggest thing is the responsibilities that women also

884
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:22,799
Speaker 4: still carry and figuring out within your relationship. Well, if

885
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 4: maybe the wife is the higher income earner or the

886
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 4: only income earner, then what is the breakdown of kind

887
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 4: of roles and responsibility is within the relationship and within

888
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 4: the household. So I think that that just whole pivot

889
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 4: is interesting, and I think those conversations are really prickly

890
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,239
Speaker 4: and hard for people to have, right, I.

891
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 1: Think more than twenty percent of the stay at home

892
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: parents now our debts are the dead and so the

893
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 1: way the house husband. Yeah, it's not abnormal at all.

894
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: I think maybe even ten or fifteen years ago was like,

895
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 1: oh really you say it, but now it's completely the

896
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: reality for a whole lot of couples.

897
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, we lived it little bit too, Like

898
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 3: Rebecca definitely made more income than I did when we

899
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 3: first started dating and when we were first married, and

900
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 3: so we live that experience and I think, yeah, you're

901
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 3: you're right, it's more common than it used to be.

902
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 4: And the conversations, though, they were awkward and they were hard,

903
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 4: and you don't really know how to really navigate them

904
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 4: because even though it is becoming more common, it still

905
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 4: hasn't necessarily been modeled for us, and we're so bad

906
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,840
Speaker 4: at talking about money and all these you know, emotions

907
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,399
Speaker 4: and all these things anyways, that then we don't really

908
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 4: realize what's going on internally and how that is impacting

909
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 4: the dynamic I think in the relationship, not for better

910
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 4: or worse, but I think there's a lot of dialogue

911
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:38,720
Speaker 4: there that that definitely needs to happen.

912
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, again, I feel like that's just at the

913
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 2: core of that communication and making sure that the other

914
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,839
Speaker 2: is being heard that you're talking about it. So, while

915
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 2: we're talking about women and money, do you think advice

916
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 2: financial advice should change based on the gender of the

917
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 2: person that you're speaking with or that you're working with

918
00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 2: or does it remain the same, Because as the financial rules,

919
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 2: they don't change dollars if you're just looking at the numbers, Yeah.

920
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 3: Dollars are dollars.

921
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 4: So so no, I don't believe that anybody needs specific

922
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 4: financial advice based off of their gender. I think everybody's

923
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 4: lived experience is very different. So, you know, regardless of gender,

924
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 4: you just have your own point you know, thoughts and

925
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 4: points of view and things of that nature. But my

926
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 4: risk tolerance, for instance, is higher than Dylan's, and I

927
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 4: think a lot of people, you know, if you were

928
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 4: to assume that most men have a higher risk tolerance

929
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 4: than women, right, So it just it doesn't matter about gender.

930
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 4: It really matters just about on the unique individual. The

931
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 4: financial concepts remain the same. Though. I'm going to tell

932
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 4: somebody to budget a dollar the same way regardless of

933
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 4: who they are.

934
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: I like it.

935
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, did the did your risk tolerance form in the

936
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 2: same when y'all are like climbing out for a bike ride.

937
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:58,280
Speaker 1: For okay?

938
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 2: Okay, I didn't know if Dylan was also in instances

939
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 2: like Babe, I'm not sure if you go you should

940
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,760
Speaker 2: go for that hole because that looks kind of crumby.

941
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know climbing terns, that'd be.

942
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,800
Speaker 3: A good way to describe.

943
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: Okay, crumbly, No, I think it's good. There's so much

944
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 1: like popping up where it's there's gender specific advice, and

945
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,439
Speaker 1: it's I think sometimes maybe it feels more relational, which

946
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: makes sense, But when it comes to the the breast

947
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 1: hacks or the numbers and stuff like that, I don't

948
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 1: think we necessarily need targeted gender specific. And it's also presumptive.

949
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, it's marketing just the

950
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 1: way you position the message. But I think the more

951
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: negative side of that is that it's presumptive, like like

952
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 1: you said, like, oh, there might be folks who would

953
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: think that, oh, talk to the man of the house

954
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: because obviously he's the breadwinner. And then obviously that's an

955
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 1: age old stereotype. Obviously that's not the case. But it's

956
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 1: just it assumes things that may or may not be.

957
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, and those are the things that we don't want

958
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 4: to discount. Like right, like everybody needs to be like

959
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 4: we're saying, everybody needs to be at the table. So

960
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 4: the both spouse need to be talking to that financial

961
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 4: advisor or you know, understand what's going on with life

962
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 4: insurance or make those big decisions together. Everybody needs to

963
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 4: know where the money is, how to access it, who

964
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 4: to call, all those sorts of things, right, But when

965
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 4: it comes, it's just the The advice itself, however, isn't

966
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 4: going to change. I mean, other than the fact that

967
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,280
Speaker 4: like I live long, I'm going to live longer potentially,

968
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 4: uh you know, statistically and so so that needs to

969
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 4: be planned for accordingly. But I would say the same.

970
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 4: I would I would not change the plan, right because

971
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,720
Speaker 4: I would tell Dylan, hey, she's going to live longer.

972
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 4: So there's that, right. But I think really what they

973
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 4: just are doing is it's it's pink it and shrinket.

974
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 3: You know.

975
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:41,760
Speaker 4: I came from retail, and that's that's what they're doing.

976
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 4: And I think it does have a good side that

977
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 4: it might be getting people more interested in their finances

978
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,839
Speaker 4: that maybe wouldn't have otherwise. But I think it can

979
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,360
Speaker 4: also be a little create create some division as well.

980
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I think that's good. All right. So's the

981
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 1: last question here. I want you guys to get a

982
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 1: little introspective here, all right, So is it possible for

983
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: a couple to be too focused on money? It's not

984
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 1: a common problem, of course, but there could be some

985
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 1: how to money listers in particular, right people who are

986
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: obsessed with personal finance, listening to the podcast, reading the books,

987
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: like devouring the information, who maybe they struggle with that

988
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: in their relationship. And as a couple who has built

989
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: a business around money, I thought you might have some

990
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 1: insights on that, like is it possible to go too

991
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 1: hard in that direction? I mean, I guess if you're

992
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 1: building a business, at least you're turning it into an income.

993
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 1: But what are your thoughts on that?

994
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 3: Absolutely? Yeah, I agree.

995
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 4: Yeah. We really say quite often that the goal is

996
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 4: to focus on your finances so that you don't have

997
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 4: to think about your finances, you know, for we talk

998
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 4: a lot about money for our business, but when it

999
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 4: comes to our personal finances, our actual accounts and what's

1000
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 4: going on the management money management and our relationship, those

1001
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 4: conversations are less frequent. Like we said, we've earned the

1002
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 4: right to not have to do it as often because

1003
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 4: it's all, you know, super optimized and automated and beautiful.

1004
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 4: But a lot of people can really tend to talk

1005
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 4: about money way too much. I think if you are

1006
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 4: just binge listening to podcasts and all is taking in

1007
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 4: a ton of information I just want to ask you,

1008
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 4: are you doing anything about it that's good or are

1009
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 4: you just like tricking yourself and thinking that you're doing something?

1010
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 4: But that's a tangent.

1011
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 1: I just like to hear how optimized Tim Ferris is. Okay,

1012
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 1: I don't want to live that.

1013
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 3: I just want to know it's possible, but right, right,

1014
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 3: But I'd love to zoom out a little bit and

1015
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 3: look at this at a higher level too, Like if

1016
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 3: you look at your life and you really were thinking,

1017
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 3: like how did I spend my time? And I was

1018
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 3: obsessed about money the entire time, Like there's so many

1019
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 3: stories that show that you're missing the point of life,

1020
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 3: and so like, we want to we want to make

1021
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 3: sure that we got the money dialed so we can

1022
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 3: do the things that are really important, and that's spending

1023
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 3: time with friends and family and going on awesome adventures

1024
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 3: and being able to buy the gear to do the

1025
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 3: awesome adventures or whatever it is that you love to do.

1026
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 3: If it becomes an obsession and it's like you're God,

1027
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 3: that's not going to be very good at all. Yeah,

1028
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 3: And so I think thinking about it like that, I

1029
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 3: think is important. Yeah.

1030
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 4: And I think also what we really like to do

1031
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,439
Speaker 4: is get to the root of it. So, if you're

1032
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 4: constantly thinking about talking about money, you're probably living in

1033
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 4: some scarcity. You probably there's probably a lot of fear

1034
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 4: in that potentially a lot of control that you might

1035
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 4: want to dig into and understand, like, why is this

1036
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 4: so incredibly important to me? Why am I checking my

1037
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 4: bank account every five seconds? And then look at what

1038
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 4: can you do about it? What control what you can control,

1039
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 4: and start to take steps to make it better so

1040
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 4: that you don't have to hyper obsess about it.

1041
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 1: It's such a healthy approach.

1042
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 2: Focus on the things that you truly want your life

1043
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,839
Speaker 2: to be filled with, not the tools that allow you

1044
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,400
Speaker 2: to get there. Right, You've got to know the tools tools.

1045
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 2: And we're so thankful that y'all were able to sit

1046
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 2: with us today. You've got a podcast, but y'all also,

1047
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 2: I mean, y'all coach. You literally coach couples. Where can

1048
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 2: folks learn more about y'all and what y'all are up to?

1049
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, so our podcast is rad Money and you can

1050
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 4: find that wherever you stream your podcasts. And then our

1051
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 4: coaching if you want to learn more about that, is

1052
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 4: just radcoaches dot com. And yeah, we help millennial married

1053
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 4: couples get on the same page and really become one

1054
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,399
Speaker 4: and manage their money effectively so they can focus more

1055
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 4: on what they want their life to be.

1056
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 1: Rebecca Dylan, thank you so much for joining us today

1057
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: on the podcast.

1058
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 3: Thanks for having us. This was awesome. Yeah.

1059
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 1: Thanks all right, Matt, I feel like you and I

1060
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:19,800
Speaker 1: we just recently found out about this couple, the rad Coaches,

1061
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 1: but we were like, okay, we got to have them on.

1062
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 1: We love the way they think about things, love their

1063
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 1: approach and the work that they're doing out there in

1064
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 1: the world too. It matters. It's helping one couple at

1065
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 1: a time, which is so powerful. But what was your

1066
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:32,720
Speaker 1: big takeaway from this combo?

1067
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 2: That's what it takes in order to have these important

1068
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 2: conversations is vulnerability. It takes being vulnerable with your partner.

1069
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 2: And I mean, who does like it sounds like something

1070
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 2: that is going to leave you in a place of weakness,

1071
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 2: But I think what we have that's just an unhealthy

1072
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: way to look at it, because this is somebody that

1073
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 2: you love. This is somebody that you at some point

1074
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 2: at least you know, you wanted to spend your entire

1075
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,920
Speaker 2: life with. This is one person out of like billions

1076
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 2: of people who all so chose you, and so the

1077
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 2: ability just to I don't know, like root each other on,

1078
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 2: to be vulnerable and to share your dreams together. I

1079
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 2: think that that is just a healthier way of combining

1080
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:14,280
Speaker 2: your money and tackling life together, as opposed to keeping

1081
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 2: your finances separate where there isn't that transparency. There's also

1082
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,799
Speaker 2: less accountability as well, and so maybe there's just room

1083
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,839
Speaker 2: for inefficiencies, not to mention money that's just sitting in

1084
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 2: accounts that have open still in your name versus the

1085
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 2: joint account, like I guess Dylan touched on.

1086
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's also there's something powerful in it, and there's

1087
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 1: also something beautiful in it, right, there's a lot of

1088
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: growth together towards each other as opposed to trying to

1089
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: kind of buck against each other doing it on your own.

1090
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: I think my takeaway was when they said that some

1091
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,759
Speaker 1: things are just necessary for a season, and it's easy

1092
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:50,879
Speaker 1: to think of course, you know that with the budgeting one. Yeah, well,

1093
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,879
Speaker 1: even as far as making a bigger, more drastic cut

1094
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,799
Speaker 1: to your lifestyle, you might say, listen, I'm doing this

1095
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 1: for a specific time period because it's going to help

1096
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 1: me get to where I want to go faster. And

1097
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:02,959
Speaker 1: if I don't make this bigger cut, gosh, I'm gonna

1098
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 1: be like swallowed in credit card debt for the next

1099
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,720
Speaker 1: three years. But man, if I make this one bigger change,

1100
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to move to the dump that costs

1101
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 1: eight hundred dollars last a month. But if it means

1102
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: that I'm out of credit card debt in thirteen months instead,

1103
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 1: well then pretty soon I can go back to living

1104
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: kind of the way I was accustomed to, but without

1105
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: that debt hanging over my head adding stress to my life.

1106
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 1: And it's just going to help me achieve those financial

1107
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 1: goals more quickly. So some of those moves, some of

1108
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:34,360
Speaker 1: those strategies are incredibly helpful, but they don't have to

1109
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 1: necessarily be incredibly long lasting. You can do it, and

1110
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 1: then you can quit it once you've achieved those desired results,

1111
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 1: so for a season and then drop it.

1112
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 2: And on the flip side of that too, I think

1113
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 2: it can also be and I think this is harder

1114
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:48,400
Speaker 2: to do, but I think the same thing can be

1115
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:50,800
Speaker 2: said of spending money. I think there might be seasons

1116
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 2: where you're just like, oh my gosh, we're about to spend. Like, personally,

1117
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about how much money we're about to spend

1118
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 2: going to Disney, Like, well, you know, we're dropping a

1119
00:49:58,120 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 2: good amount of money, and it's more money than we would

1120
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 2: only spend on vacation. But I'm like, you know what,

1121
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 2: We're not going to be doing this every single year

1122
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 2: for the rest of eternity. Like literally, I'm not even

1123
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 2: thinking that we're ever going to go down there again.

1124
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 2: But it's like, Okay, for this one time, let's go ahead,

1125
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:13,799
Speaker 2: and this is something that we can We never know.

1126
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 2: Then you might get bit by the bug. You get

1127
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 2: annual memberships every single year. But if Mickey actually by

1128
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 2: to you, I think you can sue Sole. He's not

1129
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 2: a bug, He's.

1130
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:22,720
Speaker 1: He's a rat.

1131
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 2: But all right, let's get back to the beer that

1132
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 2: you and I enjoyed during this episode. This was a

1133
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 2: White Angel. This is my another beer by a Wicked Weed.

1134
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 2: What were your thoughts on this one?

1135
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, this is another great beer from Wicked Weed.

1136
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 1: This one also had wine vibes going on. This is

1137
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: more white wine vibes instead, And I mean it makes

1138
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,839
Speaker 1: sense it was aged in wine barrels, but it's a muscadine. Yeah,

1139
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: action going on. I was gonna say it has peach,

1140
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 1: pear and kind of grape notes going on that I

1141
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:51,359
Speaker 1: can taste all those fruits inside of this one and

1142
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,240
Speaker 1: they're they're Angel series. Man, They're all made with different

1143
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 1: so good, different fruits and age for different links of

1144
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,880
Speaker 1: time and different barrels and stuff. But they're all just

1145
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 1: so fruitful, nice and tart and super tart. Little okie.

1146
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:05,759
Speaker 2: Very acidic. Yes, that's the first thing I noticed. It

1147
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,520
Speaker 2: was less of the fruit. I feel like the fruit

1148
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:09,799
Speaker 2: came more on the tail end of it. It's kind

1149
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 2: of what was left in the mouth after you swallowed.

1150
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 2: But like initially, man, do that acid attack aggressive? Yeah,

1151
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 2: it's like I feel like I could take some pain

1152
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 2: off the walls, but then in a cup of the

1153
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:25,359
Speaker 2: watchcloth and rubb it. But anyway, very good beer. Yeah,

1154
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 2: glad you and I got to enjoy this while we

1155
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 2: got to talk with Rebecca and Dylan, the rad coaches,

1156
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 2: and if you want to learn more about not only

1157
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 2: their podcast, but what they have to offer in regards

1158
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 2: to couple's coaching, we will make sure to link to

1159
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 2: their website in the show notes at howdomoney dot com

1160
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 2: the butdy that's going to be it. So until next time,

1161
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 2: best friends out, best Friends Out,