WEBVTT - Valentin's Day 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.240 This is How Men Think with and Gavin grab And 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:09.480 I heard radio podcast. Hello and welcome to another episode 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:12.720 of How Men Think. This is Dmitri. Clearly you can 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:15.720 tell by my voice I am not Brooks like Um 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:20.400 Brooks is. Uh, my guest is today he's probably skydiving 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:23.320 with his dog or doing some sort of thing that 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:25.200 I could never do. So he's busy today and and 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:27.360 the gentlemen are off today. So it's myself and I'm 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:35.360 joined by Scott Evans in Hollywood and everything else. Breath 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:37.680 just trying to you know, trying to stay employed out here, 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:40.279 trying to get this house. But I think I did 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:44.199 just see on on Brooks's um Instagram. I believe he 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:49.479 was kayaking Niagara Falls, but he's going up, going up 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:53.400 the falls, um. And my comment was, I think you're 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:58.040 doing that wrong, but I still admire it. Still. I'm 0:00:58.080 --> 0:00:59.520 not sure if I told everybody who at this is 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.720 Demitri of the way, but yes, I saw Um Brooks 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:04.800 posted this thing the other day where he was like 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:09.280 playing spike ball or whatever that is, and he's up 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:12.000 in the air like six ft there's everything is is 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:14.880 ripped on him. And it was like the advertisement for 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:16.960 spike Ball did not look as good as this thing. 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:20.679 I was like, man, you're just like he even makes 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:25.040 spike Ball look intimidating. And we're like, what seventy two 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:30.360 years into quarantine and you stilln't to have every single 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:33.520 one of your abs, like you still have right like 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:38.200 under ten percent body fat, like you've not had a donut. 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:42.400 The entire form team right exactly. I'm trying to get 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:45.760 a gluten allergy right like I'm trying to catch it. 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:51.320 I'm told it doesn't work that way, but like, man, 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:55.200 it's it's real, it's real. The only thing I realized 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:57.160 lately is that I'm not good enough shape to play 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:02.400 spike ball. So I give up. It's a minimum requirement. 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:07.840 So we're so we have a night special guest joining us, 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:10.880 say Valsch Murkoffsky from Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, I 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.280 hope there's no there's no beef between dancing shows here. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.400 Are you okay with us? No? See, I'm not a pro. 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:19.000 I'm just the host the World of Dance. You know 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:21.640 what I'm saying. Now, If you'd have brought Derek Huff, 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.360 I might have been an issue, right, But they're actually 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:28.160 great friends, and I know that that that wouldn't have 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:30.680 been an issue either. But that is a He is 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:33.359 a good dude, you know what I mean. Not only 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:36.680 is he an incredible dancer. I've met him years ago 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.880 at one of the UM I think it was a 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:41.959 a promo shoot for Dancing with the Stars. It was 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:46.240 the year that Paula Deane was on, and that was 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:49.040 the first time I'd ever interviewed Val. I've met him 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:50.880 a couple of times. It ever interviewed him and it 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:53.080 was like, you know how you you just meet some 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:58.440 people and it's like, actually, we have a really good vibe. Yeah, 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.160 he's one of those people. He's and he's he every 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:03.639 time he showed up the same way. He's a good guy. 0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:06.200 And his brother too. I So, I'm a comedy writer 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:08.680 and I'm a comedy consultant. I worked with different celebs 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:11.760 and I was working on Steve Harvey, Steve The Steve 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:15.920 Harvey Show, and uh Max came on with Peter and 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:18.800 then Mountain come on as well. And man, you just 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:22.280 know when people come someplace, you can just tell right 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:25.519 away what kind of person they are by the entourage 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:28.520 that they come or don't come with the attitude the 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:30.840 way you know when they speak to people, even someone 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:32.960 that was showing them the room, you know, their addressing room, 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.040 just so polite and so nice and and and humble 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:38.840 and and and that's exactly the way, uh, the way 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:40.520 he and his brother are. So I'm looking forward to 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:42.280 this to speaking with him as well. And he had 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:45.520 to make up, you know, uh with Max, who's like 0:03:45.800 --> 0:03:51.000 six nine something from my perspective, he's six nine, you know, 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:58.360 with talent, you know, he's like five three. I give 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:01.000 him a hard time every time. He's like, I gotta 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:06.960 be the better dancer because he's taller than me. So funny, 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:09.800 I can't wait. Yeah, Um, well, we're gonna go to 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:11.480 a break and then I think let's just get him 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:21.560 in here and start the conversation. Let's do it. All right, 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:25.359 we're back and Scott and I are joined by Val. 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:30.440 I'm gonna say it, Smurkowsky, good right. I want to 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:34.479 ever get it right. Uh my wife got it right 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:39.599 a couple of times. But that was really good, thank you, 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:43.159 of course. Uh no, I'm used to you know, my 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:46.560 name is Dmitri obviously, and when when I was growing up, um, 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:49.560 nobody could pronounce my name, and so it was you know, 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:51.600 I was back in the early eighties, and so when 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.200 I was in school, they'd be like, every time the 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:56.040 substitute would get to the name on the list, they pause, 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:58.039 and I just raised my hand and be like here, 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:04.640 so all right, well thanks for joining us, Thank you, 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:09.120 thank you for having a lot of exciting stuff going on. Um, 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:13.920 let's get into it first. So you're you're when we were, 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:16.120 tell why don't you get everybody familiar with yourself a 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:20.760 little bit? Yeah, I mean because because you have quite 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:24.160 a you and your brother have quite an interesting story. Um, 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:28.320 I guess the elevator intro is. Um. I am a 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:33.960 Latin dancer from Ukraine that grew up in Brooklyn, New 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:40.200 York in a you know, fairly conservative Eastern European family. Uh, 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:44.880 moved to americaand ninety four when I was eight years old. Um. Yeah, 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:48.440 I grew up on everything Brooklyn at that time. You know, 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:52.280 I was influenced by the hip hop culture that was 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:56.719 going on, the Melican pot cultural uh, surroundings of mind 0:05:56.800 --> 0:05:58.919 from like every ethnic group in the world, you know, 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:01.080 going from a place where you just see one type 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:05.960 of person from I'm from the Ukraine, mum, to then 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:09.560 seeing all these colors, all these cultures. I think that 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:12.160 had a huge impact on me and me moving here 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:14.200 when I was eight versus my brother moving when he 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:18.920 was fourteen. You could see a difference in even the assimilation, right, 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:25.640 and how quickly I picked up basket Uh basketball, get 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:28.600 yeah exactly, but like how quickly I picked up the 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:34.200 language versus even him till this day, um versus you know, 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:36.839 just in general, the spirit of of a you know, 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:39.520 I feel like kids, kids see the world from a 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.760 different lens, you know, in a different way. So he 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:45.200 was fourteen, he was you know, I don't know if 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:48.520 Stephan Marbury went to Lincoln High School that was around 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:50.599 Coney Island area, and so that was the high school 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.640 that my brother, uh initially was supposed to go to, 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:58.600 and uh, he was incredibly intimidated by just again, it 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:03.760 was like a title wave of change. Um. And yeah, 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.479 I think that impacted the rest of our lives. You know, 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:08.880 it's like a domino effect. Anyway, I grew up in 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:12.320 New York. How did we get into dance? My parents 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.800 never danced, because I think that's like, you know, people 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:17.800 know me from Dancing with the Stars, They know both 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.000 of us from you know, from the world of dance. 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:24.040 But um my first I guess artistic passion was violent. 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:28.600 I played violin very seriously from what I was I 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:32.880 would say, five years old till about seventeen. The city 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.240 that I'm from, Adjessa, is on on the coast of 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:38.560 the Black Sea. It's a very vibrant city. It's like, 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:41.760 you know, the New Orleans of the Soviet Union at 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:45.120 the time, and so jazz music it's like a huge 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:49.280 part of that of that city. So and and that 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:53.640 city has, um, I guess, the most prestigious music school 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:58.720 in in the former Soviet Union, where so music and 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.720 stuff was always out of kind of in your in 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:04.440 your blood or in your Yeah. So I got a 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:08.200 question though, So you and your brother, you're you're two 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:13.440 extremely good looking, straight, fantastic dancers. Like you guys basically 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:18.720 cornered the market on that point, Like how did I 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:20.920 want to get into that? Like how you guys both 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:23.360 dance became such a big thing for both of you. 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.000 It was, I mean, it was, it wasn't I know, 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:28.640 like some people, like I don't know the be age, 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:30.440 some people see footloose and they're like, man, I want 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:32.599 to be a dancer. I personally saw a fletch and 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:34.080 I was like, I want to be a smartass, Like 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:37.200 that's where I'm gonna That's where I'm gonna use my talents. 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:40.480 But so how did that happen? Yeah, I I saw 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:44.160 Jordan's and I wanted to be a basketball player, you know. Um, 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:47.680 and then um, you know, my groatspur didn't hit as 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:52.320 hard as I was expecting. But but dance was an 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:56.120 after school activity and and and the Ukraine it wasn't 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.920 tabooful for boys to dance, you know. I mean, I'm 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:03.560 gonna lie and say it was as cool as wrestling, 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:06.760 but it was. It was similar. You know, you signed 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:08.600 your kid up for boxing, you signed your kid up 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:11.719 for ballroom dancing, you signed your kid up for gymnastics, 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:14.800 and so um. When my brother was five years old, 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:17.600 my parents wanted to be great parents. They were young. 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:19.920 They had him when when they were nine years old, 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:23.840 and so uh, you know those ideals of young parenthood. 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.160 You know, you're trying to put him into all these 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:28.960 things and give them opportunities and so um. One of 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:31.080 the things in Ukraine they had an after school activity 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:34.760 for boys to you know, learn uh etiquette, you know, 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:37.880 how to be young gentleman, and ballroom dancing was part 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:41.240 of that curriculum. Then the boom dance teacher saw him, 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:43.520 recruited him, told my parents that he had a lot 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:46.120 of potential. Whether he did or not, I don't know. 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:51.480 You know, boys are scarce in the field. They're very 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:53.080 scarce in the field, So I don't know if she 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:56.280 was just recruiting another boy. But he signed up and 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:59.240 and and really my parents loved what it did for 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:02.160 his social fear. You know, it opened him up. Whether 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:07.439 there was no intention for ballroom competitive ballroom Latin dancing 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:10.880 to be a career path at any point, it was 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:14.160 just a tool for a young man to develop himself outside, 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:16.960 you know, as an athlete. He swam and played tennis 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:22.040 as a as a you know, in his artistic inclination, 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:25.520 which again ballroom dance kind of uh covered that, but 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:30.160 also his social ability to like be okay in the 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:33.440 in the you know, in the distance of a female. Right. 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.040 So it's like the more distance, the more fear, the 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.560 more I feel like as you grow up with that, 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:44.199 the more discomfort because you know, and whatever anxiety, whatever, whatever, 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:47.120 you know, the less you know it was, the less 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.840 you know, right, Yeah, yeah, you don't know how to act, 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:55.080 you act exactly and so um yeah, then we moved. 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:58.880 And when we moved to Brooklyn. Uh, you know, we 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:03.960 didn't have much. My parents were working and uh, you know, 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:06.880 they believed that, you know, they want their kids to 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:08.880 to to stay out of trouble, they need to occupy 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.280 their time, um, while they're at work. So we went 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:14.439 to school at the school. We were packed. So I 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:18.040 signed up for dance as well because my brother was 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:21.000 going to dance. They found a local dance school. Um, 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:24.199 signed me up for violin. I was going to some violin, 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:29.240 you know. And it wasn't like in in the in 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.959 the school structure. It was more like we found a 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:34.319 private you know, we found a violent teacher in the 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:38.199 Russian community. We found a ballroom dance school in the 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:41.000 Russian community. You know, you gravitate to the community that 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:44.280 you're familiar with. You try to find as much familiar 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.000 ground as possible. And so um in Brooklyn too, you 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:50.840 have you have those those communities exist, right Oh yeah, yeah, 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:55.280 that you you moved from from the Ukraine to Brooklyn, 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:57.680 but it was just another where you moved. This is 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:01.400 another version of Ukraine in Brooklyn. It was. It was 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:05.880 a micro Yeah, it created that and that's you know, 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:10.840 that's as important. Yeah, it's very important. And I'm so 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:13.280 lucky for that because you know, we joke around and 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.760 no offense to Milwaukee, but if we moved to Milwaukee, 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.080 and I know there's a Russian community in Milwaukee as well, 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:26.040 just believe it or not, it's Russians everywhere. Um to 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:30.840 New York City was like the greatest thing in the world, 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.400 you know, for us, because it was tough, it was 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:37.000 really difficult, but it, you know, laid a ground word 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:40.880 for a work ethic and and a cultural enlightenment. Like 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:44.240 I said earlier, that I mean served me till this day. 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.000 You know, I'm so proud to have had that influence. 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:50.240 Ut you know, we have a famous story where we 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:54.240 landed in Brooklyn the second day in America. Are you 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:57.320 know some friends to relatives we didn't have. We don't 0:12:57.360 --> 0:12:59.520 have the many relatives in America. You know. It was 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.960 just the five of us, uh, you know, parents, my 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:06.080 brother and myself and our grandma and they have lived 0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:07.840 here since the late seventies, so they were a little 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.520 more established. They got us roller blades and so we 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:12.760 put on these roller blades and we go across the 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:15.520 street to the park and we get surround. Well we 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.319 gets right, he gets surrounded and gets robbed for his rollerblades. 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:22.120 And you know, in hindsight, it's it's a laughing matter 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:26.160 because we're all good, everything's fine. But um yeah, he 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:28.680 he laughs because he was he was robbed by like 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.400 the United Nations. You know, it was like two Italian kids, 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:34.560 you know, a black kid as you know, a Puerto 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:37.640 Rican kid, an Asian kid, an Irish kid, and they 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:40.520 were all like just hanging and and so so a 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:44.040 dude with rollerblades on, you know. So um yeah, that 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:50.960 was kind of like our welcome to America. Uh, unfortunately 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:53.640 that's not that's not good welcome to America. But I 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:55.880 don't know if I answer your question. The point is 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:59.680 dance was a tool for us to earn some money. 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:03.160 And that's weird to say, but our first gig, I 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:06.840 was twelve. My brother was seventeen at the time, and 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.720 well he had worked since he was sixteen. But when 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:12.040 I when I turned twelve, when I was already like 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.200 good enough to to look at as a dancer, uh, 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:20.200 definitely illegally employed for sure. I mean I'm sure some 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:24.240 labor laws were questionable at the time, but basically we 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:27.040 started dancing in Russian restaurants in Brooklyn, New York, in 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.520 that community. And usually it was like Friday nights, like 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.760 eleven thirty pm, Saturday nights eleven thirty pm. That was 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:37.520 like the time when you know, after the appetizers were served, 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.280 you know, the liquor had settled, and now you know, 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:43.040 let's let's have fun. And it's that whole scene. Is 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:47.480 the whole scene, bro, It's that Eastern Promises type of scenario. 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:52.640 You've got live cabaret singers, a feast going on, and 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:55.840 you know, some shady stuff going on somewhere in the kit. Like, 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:58.080 it was the whole thing. And I had twelve years old, 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:02.080 this was my stage, and um and I was getting 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:05.800 paid twenty five bucks per night, you know, and like 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.400 I saved up and bought myself a game boy and 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:10.680 at twelve years old, you know, to be able to 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:15.560 learn how to earn uh using a skill that like, 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:19.680 you know, it became my superpower besides the the earning 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:23.040 you know, and and earning my dues as well financially 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.120 for the family that didn't have much. Um, I bought 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:29.600 myself a pair of Jenkos, you know, I never like, 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:33.680 which which was a huge waste of money for my parents, 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:37.000 but for me, that was social currency. Man. Like, you know, 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:39.720 I went from I didn't have any Jordan's growing up. 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.040 I didn't have you know, my parents like bought me 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:44.960 sneakers from payless for thirty bucks, and I thought, I was, like, 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:47.760 I was so grateful, you know. So for me to 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:51.520 be able to earn some money buy myself some Djenkos 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:55.040 and finally get you know, start assimilating into into the 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.880 crowd of the cafeteria was like a huge deal. And 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.080 I think you definitely you said you started dancing to 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:04.520 earn money. I think you certainly accomplished that. I mean, 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:08.400 probably more than you ever dreamed. Did you. Did your 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:14.520 brother get your roller bloods? Oh no, you never rollerblades since? 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:21.840 Never again? I smell a gift, right do that? But 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:26.880 that it's interesting because you talk about dancing in restaurants 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:31.640 right as kind of like the after meal entertainment right 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:40.000 to then multiple worldwide Latin Dance Championships, multiple US championships, 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:45.440 I think two times, two time mirror Ball championship. You 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.320 know what I'm saying, so you you go from dancing 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:52.960 in these restaurants to dancing on the biggest stage in 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:58.680 the country, um, on television weekly and winning. What was 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:02.080 that like for you? Going from from living in in 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:04.040 on the East coast, now you're on the West coast, 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:07.240 this big show. You're single, dude, you're killing it. What 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:15.600 is life like then? Um? It was, you know, incredibly 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:18.320 Like I felt an incredible sense of gratitude. I think 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:22.320 that's why, you know, I do so much mentoring and 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.920 trying to pass it forward so much that that's where 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:28.440 it comes from. Is that I feel really lucky. Um. 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.760 And yes, luck is preparation needs opportunity. I don't I 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.800 don't feel like I don't deserve this. I I definitely 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:38.600 deserve it. But I'm very grateful to have been given, 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:41.960 uh the good fortune to be at the right place 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:44.600 that you know, it's like the Outliers that booked by 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:49.280 Malcolm Coldwell, It's like there's there's a reason for everything, 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:51.760 and I'm grateful for that struggle. I'm grateful that I 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:54.679 was playing. To answer your question, it's all relative, you know, 0:17:54.840 --> 0:18:00.479 from I danced in restaurants, UM, nursing homes, you know, 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:05.159 like that whole thing to too, and because violin was 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:09.280 a big thing to Carnegie Hall at fifteen too, you know, 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:14.280 Lincoln Center, and then local competitions and you know and 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.399 like weird places in the Tri State area with like 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:21.359 thirty people in the audience and twenty kids dancing, you know, 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.080 to Dancing with the Star. But it was a slow 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.560 grind and to be completely honest, like there wasn't a 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:30.680 time where I didn't feel happy or feel like confident, 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:33.960 you know, for me, being in that restaurant was as 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:39.240 you know, there was as much accountability and focus and 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:44.040 you know, and you know afterwards joy um as there 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:48.320 is now on Dancing with the Stars like that. It's 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:51.840 pretty It's never changed. That's pretty. I mean, obviously I 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:54.199 think you you obviously come from a good family and 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:56.760 you have that in you that you're grateful to begin with. 0:18:56.800 --> 0:19:00.600 But I think probably earning that along the way helped, 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:03.119 because there's something to be said about something that's just 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:05.520 kind of handed fame and somebody that earns it. But 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:09.040 I appreciate the fact that you are grateful for for 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:11.040 all those different stages that you're grateful. You don't look 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:13.280 back at the restaurant stuff and think I had a 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:15.080 dance at the restaurant. You think that was a good time, 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:20.600 thirty people in the audience. Whatever, I'm bragging right now, 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:23.720 I'm not story. I wish more kids had the opportunities 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:26.680 to do those things. You know, first of all, it's 0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:30.400 it builds humility work ethic. But like the humility of 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:34.760 being in a nursing home because again, and shout outs 0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:37.080 to all the nursing homes, because they give a lot 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:40.520 of performers a stage and a chance. You know, I 0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:43.600 just need one more set of eyeballs and now I'm 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:46.679 a performer, you know, I just need and and building 0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:50.080 that relationship and having you know, the sense of like, yo, 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:55.400 I gotta really changed this person's life. Now that could 0:19:55.400 --> 0:19:57.520 be I could just bring him some joy for a 0:19:57.600 --> 0:20:00.679 day or for a week, or I can inspire, you know, 0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:04.800 it all varied. So I am so grateful for all 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:08.160 those all those moments. Vals has been such a fun 0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:10.560 time learning about you. We actually have some questions from 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:13.680 listeners for you. Uh. So we're gonna take a quick 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.040 break and we'll come back with with some questions for 0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:26.600 vow stick around. Uh. We're back with val uh and 0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:29.320 we're gonna get to some some listener questions. But man, 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:32.000 I've been wondering about this because I know that you 0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:37.119 and Max are fiercely competitive, but I also know that 0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:40.960 you are two men of high standard. And so to 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:46.240 see your brother Umu and his wife raising their son, 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:48.840 you know what I mean, just to watch him as 0:20:48.840 --> 0:20:53.400 a father, um uh and a husband. What is it 0:20:53.520 --> 0:20:56.480 like for you to see this guy that you've always 0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:59.600 looked up to in a way but always you know, 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:03.119 I got you among your heels, um, what is it 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:08.520 like to see him step into this new role? Um hm. 0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:13.040 I don't want to use cliche words like I want 0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:18.320 to give it a deeper I guess definition, but yeah, 0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:22.440 I mean it's incredible. That's the word. Uh. And now 0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:25.600 what it is? What it is really like? Um, it's 0:21:25.600 --> 0:21:28.119 a it's an incredible accomplishment, Like it's pride. You know. 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:32.040 I'm just proud of him, seeing him uh entering fatherhood 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:35.360 and and I think that's you know, he's been kind 0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:37.760 of that for me throughout my life. Like you mentioned, 0:21:37.760 --> 0:21:40.320 I looked up to him, but also he you know, 0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:44.480 and I said this in my best man's speech at 0:21:44.520 --> 0:21:48.440 his at his wedding. You know, it's um, it's hard 0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:52.280 to to understand our relationship, but you know, I've always 0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:55.240 enjoyed the wisdom of hindsight based on his you know, 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:59.280 as he pulled those through life, you know, mistakes and uh, 0:21:59.480 --> 0:22:01.560 you know, this is one of those things. You know, 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:04.040 he's the first to be to be a father, and 0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:08.320 I get to see him do amazing things and as 0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:11.639 as a father and also make certain mistakes and you know, 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:15.240 yet again I get to benefit from from his rub drafts. 0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:20.800 But it's been beautiful and I'm inspiring, motivating for me 0:22:20.880 --> 0:22:24.200 to to realize, like damn, that there's a whole different 0:22:24.240 --> 0:22:29.120 life after having a child, and I can't wait to 0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:32.280 to to enjoy that part of my life. So you've 0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:34.439 been married two years with Jenna? Now is that what 0:22:34.480 --> 0:22:39.119 it is? A year? Officially? We had anniversary in April, 0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:42.760 but yeah, okay, So how were are your thoughts on 0:22:42.920 --> 0:22:45.520 I personally have four kids. I just had my fifteen 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:48.400 year anniversary. I could sell a couple of days ago, 0:22:49.200 --> 0:22:56.040 but it defeated. Yeah. What you what you can't listeners 0:22:56.080 --> 0:22:58.600 can't see, is that you say that while you're holding 0:22:58.640 --> 0:23:03.960 your head. Kid's fifteen years. Yeah, it's been a journey, 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:09.040 but it's it's awesome. I'll say that. Um so where 0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:10.560 are you? Where are you in thoughts with that? You're 0:23:10.560 --> 0:23:12.480 gonna have you thinking about kids? And I know people 0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:14.320 always say you've been married a year and they're like, 0:23:14.320 --> 0:23:16.920 when are the kids? And that's always frustrating, but just 0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:20.760 you know, what do you think? Yeah, like yesterday, but 0:23:21.040 --> 0:23:25.159 you know we're in a right uh and are you 0:23:25.200 --> 0:23:28.880 making announcement? Are you making an announce No? No, no, no, no, no, 0:23:28.880 --> 0:23:37.680 no everywhere exactly, Well, they say, right, and maybe me 0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:40.720 sure you could attest to that, like there's never a 0:23:40.920 --> 0:23:44.520 perfect time to have a child, right, Yeah, it's never 0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:47.400 like a perfect plan. And both you know, my wife 0:23:47.400 --> 0:23:50.359 and I were like not control freaks, but we we 0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:53.320 need a plan, we you know. So this time right 0:23:53.359 --> 0:23:57.480 now is like really squeezing my anxiety gland like to 0:23:57.560 --> 0:24:00.959 the max, you know. So I'm not really comfortable with uncertainty. 0:24:01.440 --> 0:24:03.800 So I'm trying to embrace that. But in terms of 0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:08.880 starting a family, we we want to do with asa. Yeah, 0:24:08.920 --> 0:24:10.680 we want to do it right now. The time is right. 0:24:10.840 --> 0:24:13.560 I cannot wait to be a father, she cannot wait 0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:16.720 to be a mother. We cannot wait to continue you know, 0:24:16.880 --> 0:24:20.399 build our family. Um, and don't let I don't let 0:24:20.400 --> 0:24:23.720 my head holding discourage you. Right, being a father is 0:24:23.760 --> 0:24:25.600 for sure. I mean obviously have four. It's not like 0:24:26.080 --> 0:24:28.560 it's not something that that that that I didn't like. 0:24:28.640 --> 0:24:30.439 I love it. You know you have you don't have 0:24:30.480 --> 0:24:32.920 four kids by accident. So that's what I was about 0:24:32.960 --> 0:24:37.560 to say. You not. You talked about You talked about though, 0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:41.439 being two people who need a plan. As competitive dancers, 0:24:41.520 --> 0:24:44.600 as professional dancers, you you live for the routine and 0:24:44.600 --> 0:24:47.840 then you make it your own. Yeah. What is it 0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:52.000 like when you see her dancing with other people? When 0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:54.439 she sees you dancing with other people, and you know, 0:24:54.480 --> 0:24:57.040 you gotta get sometimes you gotta get the chemistry going, 0:24:57.240 --> 0:24:59.120 you know what I mean? What is it like when 0:24:59.119 --> 0:25:02.160 you im mentioned it's like actors who watched their their 0:25:02.359 --> 0:25:06.760 their partners, Yeah, on screen, But what is it like 0:25:06.800 --> 0:25:10.720 for you? It again, you you evolved as a human 0:25:10.760 --> 0:25:13.720 and so your emotions to certain things and certain triggers, 0:25:13.760 --> 0:25:17.120 you know, they become a little bit more mature. Uh, 0:25:17.240 --> 0:25:21.480 it wasn't good. Now it's better, you know, like you know, 0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:25.119 it's it's not a good feeling, you know, but but 0:25:26.440 --> 0:25:29.840 you look it's a great feeling to see your wife 0:25:29.960 --> 0:25:34.240 succeed and and be celebrated and all of that. You know, 0:25:34.320 --> 0:25:37.600 when she won with Adam Ripon, I was all day, 0:25:38.000 --> 0:25:42.080 all day, every day, right, Um. But but this, you know, 0:25:42.240 --> 0:25:45.359 I've never really shared this, but there was a performance 0:25:45.400 --> 0:25:49.000 she had on a different show, uh, and it went viral. 0:25:49.680 --> 0:25:54.679 It was it was like, so, I mean, there was 0:25:54.760 --> 0:25:59.679 so much chemistry moved like one person. Oh, there was 0:25:59.720 --> 0:26:03.280 so much chemistry. And the dude was a man. You know, 0:26:03.440 --> 0:26:05.880 he was a man. Not not that Adam Ripon wasn't 0:26:05.880 --> 0:26:09.840 a man, but this dude was masculinity to the core. 0:26:09.960 --> 0:26:11.960 And she, you know, my wife is like one of 0:26:12.040 --> 0:26:13.840 the best, if not the best dancers in the world, 0:26:14.200 --> 0:26:17.760 and she was all a woman and together they created something. 0:26:17.800 --> 0:26:22.320 I was like, that's fired. The world reacted, and uh, yeah, 0:26:22.480 --> 0:26:24.920 I felt some type of way, but I didn't let 0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:32.240 that jealous whatever, you know, in the sense that I 0:26:32.480 --> 0:26:34.800 you know, and it wasn't the physicality as much as 0:26:34.840 --> 0:26:37.360 like I want to be I want to I want 0:26:37.359 --> 0:26:39.240 to make my girl laugh the hardest, you know, I 0:26:39.320 --> 0:26:41.199 want to make her look the sexiest. I want to 0:26:41.240 --> 0:26:44.600 be the reason why she's you know, appealing to the 0:26:44.600 --> 0:26:46.600 world is one of the like I want to be 0:26:46.800 --> 0:26:52.000 the the support system that makes her shine the brightest, right. Uh. 0:26:52.040 --> 0:26:54.040 And then at that moment, though, I was like, it's 0:26:54.080 --> 0:26:56.640 not about you and what you want, you know, it's 0:26:56.680 --> 0:27:00.360 about her and celebrating her. How did you and did 0:27:00.400 --> 0:27:02.800 you come to articulate that? Like did you did you 0:27:03.119 --> 0:27:05.000 did you come to her with the jealousy or did 0:27:05.080 --> 0:27:07.040 you come to her with the yeah you you you 0:27:07.119 --> 0:27:09.240 got that, you got that off, Yeah that you did that, 0:27:10.680 --> 0:27:16.440 you did that? No, first of all for its all celebration. 0:27:16.520 --> 0:27:20.840 I mean I was so happy for her. Um then 0:27:20.840 --> 0:27:23.560 when the time was right, you know, like I said 0:27:23.720 --> 0:27:28.439 that that's the timing is very important, and being authentic 0:27:28.480 --> 0:27:31.359 and honest is really important. And like that was a 0:27:31.440 --> 0:27:36.000 vulnerable moment for dude, that had you know, I'm getting 0:27:36.000 --> 0:27:37.879 my shine too. That's the thing. It was, like, I 0:27:37.960 --> 0:27:40.840 guess I confronted my feeling with with this like sense 0:27:40.840 --> 0:27:45.000 of you're such a hypocrite, bro, you are literally you know. 0:27:45.080 --> 0:27:49.000 For years, my thing was and I still preach it 0:27:49.040 --> 0:27:51.280 is that chemistry on the dance floor, you know, And 0:27:51.280 --> 0:27:56.520 it's it's you know, chemistry isn't just defined by sexual 0:27:56.560 --> 0:27:59.920 tension towards each other. It's that confaratie. It's that you know, 0:28:00.600 --> 0:28:03.720 like Pippen and Jordan had chemistry, you know, and if 0:28:03.760 --> 0:28:05.720 they didn't, I was just gonna sit. I was just 0:28:05.720 --> 0:28:07.720 gonna say you, you know, you in order to be 0:28:07.760 --> 0:28:09.520 a good team, you have to get along. You don't 0:28:09.520 --> 0:28:11.720 want a team, and Pippo and Jordan didn't get along, 0:28:11.800 --> 0:28:13.960 then that team is not as good. So you can't 0:28:14.000 --> 0:28:15.920 be jealous that they have a friendship the same way you. 0:28:16.040 --> 0:28:18.440 Obviously you look at something, but I think it probably 0:28:18.480 --> 0:28:20.879 correct me if I'm wrong. It probably helps that you 0:28:21.040 --> 0:28:24.280 also are a dancer, so you understand that chemistry with 0:28:24.320 --> 0:28:27.399 a partner. Yes, yes, And that's why I had to 0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:31.960 confront my emotion and with with many different angles, and 0:28:32.000 --> 0:28:34.880 one of them was that you know, hypocrisy of like, well, 0:28:35.119 --> 0:28:39.040 you you build and you want that same support from 0:28:39.080 --> 0:28:42.120 her in return, so why would you you know? And 0:28:42.160 --> 0:28:45.160 so and and then ultimately there was a conversation. I 0:28:45.200 --> 0:28:48.520 think that's the healing processes, like that conversation and me 0:28:48.640 --> 0:28:51.640 being vulnerable enough to like put my ego to the 0:28:51.680 --> 0:28:54.760 side of someone that I don't care and tell her like, yo, 0:28:55.520 --> 0:28:59.560 I care, you know, I saw you and I maybe 0:28:59.720 --> 0:29:02.640 maybe for the first time really saw you, you know, 0:29:02.760 --> 0:29:04.600 because of that su I mean this was a long 0:29:04.600 --> 0:29:09.440 long time ago. Um and uh, yeah, I don't know. 0:29:09.520 --> 0:29:12.560 That was like so so it's a great question. Um 0:29:12.640 --> 0:29:14.760 and and it goes vice versa, you know, and we 0:29:14.840 --> 0:29:18.360 have to have you know, I think again, what you're 0:29:18.360 --> 0:29:20.560 afraid of? The things you don't know? Right as back 0:29:20.600 --> 0:29:23.960 to the current situation with Corona and the world, it's 0:29:24.000 --> 0:29:28.160 like uncertainties what trigger so much anxiety and stress and 0:29:28.280 --> 0:29:31.240 jealousy and this and that or whatever. The second you 0:29:31.280 --> 0:29:35.600 have dialogue and you you have some clarity, I mean, 0:29:35.720 --> 0:29:38.360 all of those things kind of subside a little bit. 0:29:38.440 --> 0:29:41.000 And so that's what happened, you know, anytime those things 0:29:41.040 --> 0:29:44.040 flare up, which they do naturally because we're human, we're passionate. 0:29:45.160 --> 0:29:49.280 I think the quicker you, um, the quicker you attack 0:29:49.400 --> 0:29:52.960 that in a conversation and just say, hey, you know, 0:29:53.040 --> 0:29:55.560 this is how I feel. Uh And I'm like, you know, 0:29:55.600 --> 0:29:57.560 I hear you. How can I make you feel better? 0:29:57.640 --> 0:30:00.400 You know? How can we solve that without COMPROMI Rising 0:30:01.200 --> 0:30:04.360 necessarily a really great thing because at the end of 0:30:04.400 --> 0:30:07.400 the day, we're performers. Were artists and you know, that's 0:30:07.400 --> 0:30:11.239 a relationship that we individually have built without you know 0:30:11.280 --> 0:30:13.360 that have nothing to do with it. So let's respect 0:30:13.400 --> 0:30:15.960 that relationship that we have. It's something that we invest 0:30:16.000 --> 0:30:20.000 in our entire life doing. It's it's it's important though, 0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:23.400 I think also to note to write that that kind 0:30:23.440 --> 0:30:31.000 of conversation requires two people who are willing to be responsible, right, 0:30:31.400 --> 0:30:33.360 two people willing to show up to a conversation and 0:30:33.400 --> 0:30:37.160 being responsible and allowing someone to show up, maybe imperfectly, 0:30:37.320 --> 0:30:40.600 giving them the grace to show up in perfectly, just 0:30:40.720 --> 0:30:44.320 so they can communicate themselves and then work from that 0:30:44.400 --> 0:30:51.360 point to build even stronger, stronger, right, Yeah, I mean 0:30:51.520 --> 0:30:56.960 communication is key, I think in every every aspect of life. Um. 0:30:57.600 --> 0:30:59.840 Then the other thing is again boom. Dancing has served 0:30:59.840 --> 0:31:04.160 me well because I was a teammate with a female 0:31:04.240 --> 0:31:05.960 since I was a kid. You know, like I said, 0:31:05.960 --> 0:31:09.000 I love sports. I didn't see Michael Jackson and was like, 0:31:09.080 --> 0:31:10.880 I want to dance. I saw Michael Joe. I told 0:31:10.880 --> 0:31:13.760 you I saw Michael Jordan wanted to play ball. Uh 0:31:14.000 --> 0:31:17.280 you know which is that he is in literally a 0:31:17.320 --> 0:31:22.520 bull's jersey. This is this is rob but he's got Rodman, 0:31:24.800 --> 0:31:29.560 it's amazing, uh and and so. But but that camaraderie 0:31:30.800 --> 0:31:33.720 is what I love about ball in sports in general, 0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:38.400 is building a team with fellow humans and inspired that 0:31:38.520 --> 0:31:41.120 I'm I'm that dude. I'm on the court like, come on, man, 0:31:41.440 --> 0:31:43.360 let's go. You can you know take that? You know, 0:31:43.400 --> 0:31:46.040 I'm like the motivator, preaching type of dude on the court. 0:31:46.280 --> 0:31:50.120 Super annoying. I try to balance that out. Uh. But 0:31:51.760 --> 0:31:54.880 when it comes to competitive ballroom dance, that that that 0:31:55.000 --> 0:31:57.880 was my approach, Like I was in competitive ballroom dance, 0:31:57.920 --> 0:32:00.800 which is very different than just approach dance as this 0:32:01.000 --> 0:32:03.520 art form. For me, it was a sport and winning 0:32:03.520 --> 0:32:06.840 a world title was was was an athletic feat, not 0:32:06.960 --> 0:32:10.600 an artistic accomplishment, you know. And it was an athletic 0:32:10.680 --> 0:32:14.920 feat that I accomplished with my female partner, with my 0:32:15.040 --> 0:32:18.520 female teammate, you know. So I had to learn how 0:32:18.560 --> 0:32:23.840 to work and celebrate and get through the feet together 0:32:24.800 --> 0:32:28.120 with a young girl, a young female, a young woman, 0:32:28.280 --> 0:32:30.840 then a woman. You know. I stopped competing at twenty 0:32:30.840 --> 0:32:33.120 five when I joined Dancing with the Stars and and 0:32:33.360 --> 0:32:35.880 continue to compete with females but in a different format. 0:32:36.160 --> 0:32:39.360 But before that, it was you know, it was Pipping 0:32:39.360 --> 0:32:45.280 and Robin, I mean Tipping and rob. Uh. Yeah, the 0:32:45.320 --> 0:32:49.920 twoth comes out now we really yeah, yeah, okay, you're 0:32:49.920 --> 0:32:53.680 not you're not a Jordan fan at all. Uh Last 0:32:53.760 --> 0:32:57.200 Dance the documentary was probably crazy, you know, one of 0:32:57.200 --> 0:33:01.520 the few things that had gifted us, gifted the world 0:33:01.560 --> 0:33:05.400 and I appreciate that. So Jordan's and and the thing 0:33:05.480 --> 0:33:09.400 is watching that documentary, um, you know, humanize them even 0:33:09.440 --> 0:33:13.120 more of a word. But like it showed his flaws 0:33:13.200 --> 0:33:15.360 because we never had you know, there was no social media, 0:33:15.400 --> 0:33:18.840 so we didn't have access to such you know, his 0:33:18.960 --> 0:33:21.920 thought process of or you know, but the fact that 0:33:22.040 --> 0:33:25.760 he was a flawed man made now and all his 0:33:25.960 --> 0:33:30.720 comma even like being hundred even greater, absolutely because it's 0:33:30.720 --> 0:33:35.880 not real. Yeah. Yeah. Should we get to some should 0:33:35.920 --> 0:33:38.000 we get some of the listener questions, some of the 0:33:38.000 --> 0:33:46.320 fan questions, you know, all right, so some listen you 0:33:46.320 --> 0:33:48.960 are sending some questions for you val We're gonna start 0:33:48.960 --> 0:33:52.240 with this one from Ape Fisher. What's the hardest part 0:33:52.280 --> 0:33:55.480 about being a male dancer? How do you deal with stereotypes? 0:33:55.520 --> 0:33:57.400 How do you deal with jealousy, how do you deal 0:33:57.440 --> 0:34:02.000 with boners? Etcetera. Oh God, that's uh, you broke the 0:34:02.040 --> 0:34:07.400 ice to that last one. You said the hard I 0:34:07.440 --> 0:34:09.400 wonder if that was in the question or of Eastern 0:34:09.440 --> 0:34:11.440 just throw in the boner party. I mean, I've always 0:34:11.440 --> 0:34:18.200 wanted to know. Um, that's there's so many puns. I 0:34:18.320 --> 0:34:20.120 was gonna say, that's not the hardest part at all, 0:34:22.560 --> 0:34:28.040 but m mm hmmm, I mean there was there's like 0:34:28.080 --> 0:34:30.520 an evolution of it, you know. Yeah, it was hard 0:34:30.560 --> 0:34:33.440 in like middle school, high school. Um, I took about 0:34:33.719 --> 0:34:36.200 you know, I've earned those friends before I exposed that 0:34:36.239 --> 0:34:38.800 I was a dancer. You know, I didn't champion like, hey, 0:34:38.840 --> 0:34:41.520 I'm a world champion dancer. I think that's why there 0:34:41.560 --> 0:34:45.000 was humility to that success as well, because I didn't 0:34:45.000 --> 0:34:48.080 really you know, I wasn't the starting quarterback of of 0:34:48.520 --> 0:34:51.040 you know, my high school football team where I really 0:34:51.040 --> 0:34:54.640 had all this social currency, like my success as a 0:34:54.680 --> 0:34:58.120 born dancer I enjoyed overseas like that's the thing, this 0:34:58.239 --> 0:35:01.080 is huge in Europe. And even being he broke here, 0:35:01.480 --> 0:35:03.560 I still you know, I had the parents that that 0:35:04.360 --> 0:35:06.600 got some money for me to be able to fly 0:35:06.680 --> 0:35:09.160 out to Germany and competed a world title and there 0:35:09.640 --> 0:35:12.000 I was a rock star, was a superstar, you know. 0:35:12.600 --> 0:35:15.920 Um so, so it was good. It was a great balance. 0:35:15.960 --> 0:35:18.920 But yeah, high school, middle school, but you get picked on. 0:35:19.200 --> 0:35:21.160 Did you get picked on or bullied at all for 0:35:21.160 --> 0:35:26.719 for dancing? Yeah, yeah, of course. But I think but 0:35:26.840 --> 0:35:29.000 once you don't know about Val is that he's also 0:35:29.080 --> 0:35:34.080 a scrapper. He's backing against the wall. Homeboy can hold 0:35:34.120 --> 0:35:36.880 his own, you know what I'm saying. Well, you know, 0:35:36.960 --> 0:35:39.560 as I said, you were probably so psyched when that 0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:43.240 whole dance battle thing came out and like fighting became 0:35:43.280 --> 0:35:48.399 like the dance off. That was like, so the thing 0:35:48.480 --> 0:35:51.600 is again that's that's a genre of dance. I wasn't 0:35:51.600 --> 0:35:54.160 a part of either. Like I wish I was a 0:35:54.239 --> 0:35:56.520 hip hop dancer growing up. I wish I loved the 0:35:56.640 --> 0:35:58.959 musical aspect that I was really kind of was great 0:35:58.960 --> 0:36:01.319 at that. But if you could imagine a scene at 0:36:01.360 --> 0:36:05.080 the dance, you know, you had people moving and again 0:36:05.160 --> 0:36:08.640 in middle school, being parked up against the wall and 0:36:08.680 --> 0:36:12.040 just just being grinded like that. I don't know, I 0:36:12.080 --> 0:36:14.279 feel like we're relatively the same age, but like that 0:36:14.440 --> 0:36:18.200 was dance. Yeah, I just appreciated against the wall and 0:36:18.400 --> 0:36:23.359 for some force for you know, that was definitely an 0:36:23.360 --> 0:36:26.920 element of dance, right, sweating on the dance wool I 0:36:27.040 --> 0:36:30.480 tell you what, well, yes see, yeah, for some exactly. 0:36:30.520 --> 0:36:34.920 And I was like, um, you know, without a partner, 0:36:34.960 --> 0:36:36.640 I'm like what do I do with my hands? You know? 0:36:36.680 --> 0:36:40.319 And so um, the coolest thing was being able to 0:36:40.480 --> 0:36:43.319 like take a girl even though she doesn't know how 0:36:43.320 --> 0:36:46.799 to dance, like dip her, turn her, you know, and 0:36:46.800 --> 0:36:49.000 then all of a sudden like damn, I want to 0:36:49.040 --> 0:36:50.960 learn how to do that. I don't care about you know, 0:36:51.080 --> 0:36:54.200 backflip or you know, learn how to break dance like that. 0:36:54.320 --> 0:36:58.480 And that's why I didn't never understood the bullying, you know, 0:36:58.600 --> 0:37:03.560 because obviously my my sexuality was being bullied mostly right, 0:37:03.600 --> 0:37:08.440 It's like you're soft, you're this, you're that. Um, I'm like, 0:37:09.320 --> 0:37:15.800 how is this? How is this me embracing a female 0:37:16.160 --> 0:37:20.480 and and and you know, having posture and having like 0:37:20.560 --> 0:37:26.080 a beautiful relationship, and like how is that? It didn't 0:37:26.120 --> 0:37:29.080 make it didn't make any sense. How that is less 0:37:29.160 --> 0:37:33.000 manly then, you know, snapping a leather ball out of 0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:37.200 another man's butt, you know, every every thirty seconds, and 0:37:37.880 --> 0:37:40.600 I don't want it to another in a jockstrap, Like 0:37:40.920 --> 0:37:44.640 I didn't understand that so anyway, but it's what you 0:37:44.680 --> 0:37:47.400 said before. It's it's the fear of not knowing stuff. 0:37:47.400 --> 0:37:49.240 It's the fear of not being able to do stuff. 0:37:49.400 --> 0:37:52.480 So it's the people that didn't have that. It's almost 0:37:52.520 --> 0:37:54.200 like a jealousy. So it's like I gotta pick on 0:37:54.280 --> 0:37:57.160 that because I can't do it. And frankly, if you 0:37:57.200 --> 0:38:00.720 look at it, it is such a such a hot 0:38:00.760 --> 0:38:03.239 and romantic thing with a man and a woman when 0:38:03.239 --> 0:38:05.680 they're dancing like that. So to have a guy that 0:38:05.760 --> 0:38:08.040 can't do it, I mean I didn't. I certainly wasn't 0:38:08.040 --> 0:38:09.520 the type of guy that picked on anybody when I 0:38:09.560 --> 0:38:10.759 was like, I didn't follow you or anything like that, 0:38:11.080 --> 0:38:13.360 but I didn't know. I'm not. I wasn't a good dancer. 0:38:13.440 --> 0:38:15.680 Like I worked up all the effort to ask a 0:38:15.719 --> 0:38:17.759 girl to dance and then I realized that, shut, I 0:38:17.800 --> 0:38:21.719 don't know, how what do we do next? Right? What 0:38:21.840 --> 0:38:26.080 happens now? Um? Yeah, it's uh. Dance had served me 0:38:26.239 --> 0:38:29.320 very well, Like I said, you know, life is in stages, 0:38:29.360 --> 0:38:32.040 and that's what I said. I posted a picture yesterday 0:38:32.040 --> 0:38:34.919 and Instagram with me like a fifteen with just fro 0:38:35.160 --> 0:38:37.279 and acne. And then it was like a side by 0:38:37.280 --> 0:38:41.400 side with me recently, and it's like if you're going 0:38:41.520 --> 0:38:44.200 through it, like like life, life gets better, you know, 0:38:44.320 --> 0:38:48.560 like your skin changes your your and same thing with 0:38:48.560 --> 0:38:51.000 with the with your interests. You know, I'm really lucky 0:38:51.040 --> 0:38:54.759 that I had enough uh positive reinforcement in my home. 0:38:55.520 --> 0:39:00.279 You know, at those international competitions that I didn't really like, 0:39:00.440 --> 0:39:05.160 it didn't consume me. The bullying in in in the school. 0:39:05.200 --> 0:39:08.040 You know a lot of people like school is their life, 0:39:08.080 --> 0:39:11.320 their social circle there. Like I just went to school 0:39:11.880 --> 0:39:14.960 and I lived outside of it. You know, I didn't 0:39:14.960 --> 0:39:18.680 consume me. I had other after school activities that exposed 0:39:18.680 --> 0:39:22.719 me to different worlds, uh, that embraced those differences. And then, 0:39:23.120 --> 0:39:25.800 like I said, I'm really grateful I didn't quit because 0:39:25.840 --> 0:39:30.279 now as an adult, I get to enjoy it's a 0:39:30.400 --> 0:39:33.799 skill set that's very specific and very unique and then 0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:36.680 really refined and like it serves me now. Those tools 0:39:36.760 --> 0:39:39.879 serve me in such a great way now, uh that 0:39:40.000 --> 0:39:43.640 I unfortunately wouldn't have had if I would have given up. 0:39:44.320 --> 0:39:46.719 I love that. I love that what you just said 0:39:46.719 --> 0:39:50.800 about the support sism, I think so much comes from 0:39:50.800 --> 0:39:54.239 from the support of a strong family and from the home. 0:39:54.480 --> 0:39:56.080 And I was the last of five kids, and then 0:39:56.200 --> 0:39:58.120 as I mentioned, I had four kids, and I think 0:39:58.120 --> 0:40:00.520 my family is so close and I don't think I do. 0:40:00.640 --> 0:40:02.560 I don't think I do nearly as much as I've 0:40:02.600 --> 0:40:06.480 done or become who I am, or have the confidence 0:40:06.480 --> 0:40:09.120 that I have if not for the support from from 0:40:09.160 --> 0:40:11.640 my parents, from my siblings, and from my family. And 0:40:11.680 --> 0:40:13.719 I think I think that's pretty cool that that you're 0:40:13.760 --> 0:40:15.520 admitting that. I think it's very inspirational too, because I 0:40:15.520 --> 0:40:17.239 think a lot of people need to know, like with 0:40:17.280 --> 0:40:21.040 my kids, listen, it's not about them doing what you 0:40:21.080 --> 0:40:23.480 want them to do, and it's not about them, it's 0:40:23.520 --> 0:40:26.160 about you know, understanding, like if if one of my 0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:28.800 kids asked me to do something, to go play something, 0:40:28.880 --> 0:40:30.840 or it's not whether I want to do it or not, 0:40:30.880 --> 0:40:32.360 it's I want them to know that that's okay to 0:40:32.400 --> 0:40:36.040 do and then and to experience that with them. And 0:40:36.080 --> 0:40:39.080 I think that's huge for kids nowadays. Yeah, it's uh, 0:40:39.360 --> 0:40:42.360 I was raised and again my my father still you 0:40:42.719 --> 0:40:46.160 look like my dad, no offense. I mean, wait, five 0:40:46.200 --> 0:40:51.600 minutes ago you said, well, my head is going back 0:40:51.600 --> 0:40:56.040 in my hand anyway, my uh, my dad again, he's 0:40:57.239 --> 0:41:01.160 he's a he's a man man, you know, uh, never dance, 0:41:01.280 --> 0:41:05.400 never this, never that. But yeah, he just raised us 0:41:05.400 --> 0:41:07.480 with the philosophy of like, it doesn't it doesn't matter 0:41:07.520 --> 0:41:09.520 what you do. Whatever you do, you gotta do it. 0:41:10.640 --> 0:41:13.239 You gotta stride for greatness. You know, just as long 0:41:13.239 --> 0:41:15.880 as you try your best and stride for greatness and 0:41:15.920 --> 0:41:18.120 put in the work, you could be You know, if 0:41:18.120 --> 0:41:20.319 you're gonna take out the trash, you better be the 0:41:20.360 --> 0:41:23.279 best senor, you know, sanitary worker on the planet. Like, 0:41:23.320 --> 0:41:25.960 if you're gonna host the party, you better be the 0:41:26.360 --> 0:41:29.080 best host in the world. If you're gonna dance, you 0:41:29.200 --> 0:41:31.560 better you better dance. You know, you better put in 0:41:31.560 --> 0:41:33.960 the work. Come on, Martin Luther King, Come on, Martin 0:41:34.000 --> 0:41:37.879 Luther Wait, but you didn't. I want to come back 0:41:37.920 --> 0:41:40.520 to one of the questions that was opposed by one 0:41:40.560 --> 0:41:44.560 of the listeners. You have had some of the most 0:41:45.760 --> 0:41:53.400 attractive partners. You dance in one of the most sensual 0:41:55.320 --> 0:42:01.440 positions and forms of dance that exists. What do you 0:42:01.520 --> 0:42:09.839 do when you're dancing? And it becomes all too real? 0:42:10.640 --> 0:42:20.839 He imagines Tom bergeron in his underwear. Guy, uh, have 0:42:20.920 --> 0:42:24.239 you been in that situation? I have never been in 0:42:24.280 --> 0:42:32.520 that situation. Wow, yeah, just you know, it's yeah, I 0:42:32.520 --> 0:42:36.239 don't know, it's um. I mean maybe I have, I 0:42:36.239 --> 0:42:38.680 don't I don't recall. Maybe when I was like fifteen, 0:42:38.800 --> 0:42:47.000 I have a situation, but you can't control exactly as 0:42:47.040 --> 0:42:49.480 an adult. I have never had that situation. That is 0:42:49.520 --> 0:42:51.360 not a you know, it's not an issue for me 0:42:51.520 --> 0:42:56.680 at all, um because, like I said, the sexuality is 0:42:56.680 --> 0:42:59.800 is is a byproduct of the commitment. You know, what 0:43:00.040 --> 0:43:05.040 makes me sexy, what makes my product appealing, what makes 0:43:05.080 --> 0:43:12.239 that chemistry is this undivided focus and um and commitment 0:43:12.360 --> 0:43:16.560 to this other person, to their physicality, to their essence, 0:43:16.640 --> 0:43:20.000 to their everything. It isn't like, you know, it's not 0:43:20.080 --> 0:43:22.040 like we come into all man and I'm like looking 0:43:22.080 --> 0:43:24.640 at her as the sexual thing. No, it's I'm looking 0:43:24.800 --> 0:43:28.320 you know, I'm looking at her as an incredible athlete, woman, artists, 0:43:28.719 --> 0:43:32.400 and I am just grateful to be able to enjoy 0:43:32.480 --> 0:43:35.600 movement with this person. I'm not looking. It doesn't matter 0:43:35.600 --> 0:43:37.680 who you are. Even when I dance with my wife, yes, 0:43:37.719 --> 0:43:40.839 I have uh, you know, love for her and an 0:43:40.840 --> 0:43:44.560 intimacy for her in our performances. But like I said, 0:43:46.320 --> 0:43:50.359 it's not a you know, sensuality is very different from sexuality, right, 0:43:50.400 --> 0:43:53.640 So I'm not like, oh man, I got hard just thinking. No, 0:43:53.840 --> 0:43:57.239 it's like it's just that's not where, That's not the 0:43:57.239 --> 0:44:00.000 wavelength that I you know, that that that ad oppers 0:44:00.120 --> 0:44:03.480 rate song at all. Right, Hey, we have time for 0:44:03.600 --> 0:44:06.279 let's do one more email. This is someone looking for 0:44:06.280 --> 0:44:09.040 some advice from you guys. Uh. This is from Annie. 0:44:09.280 --> 0:44:11.040 She says. My husband and I have been together for 0:44:11.080 --> 0:44:14.200 almost twenty three years. Connection and sex were okay up 0:44:14.239 --> 0:44:17.520 until the end of last year. I felt depressed, stressed, 0:44:17.520 --> 0:44:21.319 and unappreciated. We were both unhappy with our relationship, with 0:44:21.360 --> 0:44:24.320 no love or appreciation for one another, so we decided 0:44:24.360 --> 0:44:26.439 to have weekly discussions to check in with each other. 0:44:26.760 --> 0:44:28.600 It was good for about a week until I discovered 0:44:28.640 --> 0:44:31.840 he was flirting with a coworker via text. I confronted 0:44:31.920 --> 0:44:33.840 him and he admitted to it, and he assured me 0:44:33.840 --> 0:44:36.399 it was done. So we moved on. But things still 0:44:36.440 --> 0:44:39.319 feel the same. Why is he being stagnant? How can 0:44:39.360 --> 0:44:44.640 I help him with this transition period without driving him away? Damn? 0:44:47.040 --> 0:44:52.759 And that was pre quarantine, right, I mean, I want 0:44:52.760 --> 0:44:56.839 to tread tread advice carefully. Yeah, I'll follow you lead 0:44:57.040 --> 0:44:59.279 on that. I mean, I think that the thing is, 0:44:59.560 --> 0:45:03.000 it's I I question they're having their weekly conversations, but 0:45:03.080 --> 0:45:06.680 I wonder what what they're talking about. I think obviously 0:45:06.680 --> 0:45:10.920 communication is huge in a relationship, and I think it's 0:45:11.040 --> 0:45:12.920 nice that they're checking in with each other. But they 0:45:12.960 --> 0:45:15.239 called it a check in, and so that to me 0:45:15.239 --> 0:45:17.560 means I don't know if they're if they're talking about 0:45:17.840 --> 0:45:20.000 their feelings or if they're just say, hey, are you okay? 0:45:20.000 --> 0:45:23.279 Are you? I think it comes down to what they're 0:45:23.360 --> 0:45:26.120 what they're talking about, like when you go to a therapist, 0:45:26.400 --> 0:45:28.480 and sometimes you know what, there's nothing wrong with therapy, 0:45:28.520 --> 0:45:32.239 so maybe they need somebody to help moderate that conversation, 0:45:32.960 --> 0:45:35.799 you know. So uh, maybe it's maybe it's a matter 0:45:35.880 --> 0:45:38.359 of what they're talking about. And because we can have 0:45:38.440 --> 0:45:40.279 check in with somebody and it's very if it's very 0:45:40.280 --> 0:45:43.160 surface level, then you're not getting to what you're actually feeling. 0:45:43.400 --> 0:45:46.680 So I think part of that is probably what their communication. 0:45:48.400 --> 0:45:52.000 Yeah right, but us us like, so you step up 0:45:52.040 --> 0:45:55.040 the communication. It sounds like they from from based on 0:45:55.160 --> 0:45:58.080 the the just a note, you know, um, trying not 0:45:58.120 --> 0:46:01.080 to make too many assumptions about where relationship is or 0:46:01.120 --> 0:46:03.880 what's happening or not happening there, but right, so you 0:46:03.920 --> 0:46:07.360 step up the communication, Like you said, the communication is 0:46:07.400 --> 0:46:11.200 about like checking in, like what's not right? Perhaps is 0:46:11.280 --> 0:46:14.080 the is the assumption is like, let's talk about what's 0:46:14.120 --> 0:46:17.920 not right in our relationship without the focus on what 0:46:18.239 --> 0:46:20.960 still does work right? And it doesn't have to be 0:46:21.040 --> 0:46:24.080 necessarily the sexual part of their relationship or you know, 0:46:24.120 --> 0:46:26.799 but maybe their partnership and living together. What parts of 0:46:26.840 --> 0:46:30.200 that do work? Um? How are we amping that up? 0:46:30.239 --> 0:46:33.680 How are we highlighting that? Um? And then also like 0:46:34.600 --> 0:46:37.000 instead of her, it seems to me she's focusing a 0:46:37.000 --> 0:46:39.200 lot on how to fix him, how to make him better, 0:46:39.239 --> 0:46:41.560 how to get him to a place where he feels better. 0:46:42.360 --> 0:46:45.040 There's two people in a relationship. And if we are 0:46:45.080 --> 0:46:48.000 are unhappy, you are, I think you at some point 0:46:48.040 --> 0:46:51.240 you also have to look at like why am I unhappy? 0:46:51.440 --> 0:46:56.120 Or am I unhappy? Um? And is am I bringing 0:46:56.160 --> 0:47:01.279 my best self to our relationship? Before the check in? 0:47:02.360 --> 0:47:04.839 That's true and it's you have to be you have 0:47:04.960 --> 0:47:06.799 to be happy in order and be, like you said, 0:47:06.840 --> 0:47:09.560 be your best self in order for you know, you 0:47:09.600 --> 0:47:11.200 can't just be like, I gotta fix this person. And 0:47:11.239 --> 0:47:13.439 if it's not working, if if that's not making you happy, 0:47:13.480 --> 0:47:15.279 if you're not in a good place, then that you're 0:47:15.320 --> 0:47:19.560 never gonna get to that place where you're genuinely yeah. Yeah, 0:47:19.840 --> 0:47:24.279 it's most of the issues them from my I mean, 0:47:24.320 --> 0:47:26.399 I'm just gonna speak on my own behalf, like from 0:47:26.400 --> 0:47:29.600 my own insecurities, you know, And I'm like, thanks that 0:47:30.200 --> 0:47:35.640 in me somehow help you know there, yeah, you out 0:47:35.680 --> 0:47:39.480 there or you might you know, my wife, fix me please, 0:47:39.560 --> 0:47:43.759 because I'm not happy with myself. Uh, when I'm when 0:47:43.840 --> 0:47:46.839 when I'm happy with myself, I cannot wait to love 0:47:46.880 --> 0:47:49.600 the world like I will love my wife, I would 0:47:49.600 --> 0:47:52.719 love my friends, I would love you know. I'm just 0:47:52.800 --> 0:47:57.040 glowing because I'm you know, I'm I'm fulfilled, I'm satisfied, 0:47:57.280 --> 0:48:00.680 and I'm loving myself in a way right now. Let 0:48:00.719 --> 0:48:03.719 me ask you this about is there ever a time 0:48:03.719 --> 0:48:06.320 in dancing where you're working with your partner, you're rehearsing 0:48:06.480 --> 0:48:08.920 and you're just not getting It's just you're just not 0:48:09.000 --> 0:48:12.239 getting something down correctly. Is there ever a time where 0:48:12.280 --> 0:48:15.000 it's like okay, rather than keep repeating it and trying 0:48:15.040 --> 0:48:17.080 to get that moved down. Do you ever step back 0:48:17.120 --> 0:48:20.279 and take a different approach, maybe talk about something else, 0:48:20.320 --> 0:48:22.279 take your mind off. And so it's not it's not 0:48:22.440 --> 0:48:25.160 different than a relationship. When something is not working, don't 0:48:25.160 --> 0:48:27.239 just keep jamming at the problem and like we gotta 0:48:27.239 --> 0:48:29.200 fix this, we gotta fix this. You step back and 0:48:29.239 --> 0:48:32.399 sometimes let all the others. Maybe there's another stress that's 0:48:32.440 --> 0:48:34.920 stopping you from from doing this. So I think in 0:48:34.920 --> 0:48:38.160 a relationship is the same thing. Stop focusing on the well, 0:48:38.239 --> 0:48:40.359 we're not having sex. We're not having sex, but maybe 0:48:40.360 --> 0:48:42.879 there's a reason. Maybe, as you said, Scott, maybe I'm 0:48:42.960 --> 0:48:45.359 unhappy and maybe if we can kind of talk through 0:48:45.400 --> 0:48:47.640 and work other things, then all this other stuff will 0:48:47.640 --> 0:48:50.160 fall into place. It's not always the obvious thing. It's 0:48:50.320 --> 0:48:53.799 it's not always the glaring problem that's the real issue. 0:48:53.920 --> 0:48:58.200 And as like the single dude here right, um uh, 0:48:58.560 --> 0:49:02.320 having some real reservations about getting into a relationship until 0:49:02.480 --> 0:49:06.880 I feel whole myself, right like, until I feel like 0:49:06.960 --> 0:49:10.759 I am holy and completely myself as much as I 0:49:10.800 --> 0:49:14.400 can get myself to be before stepping into a relationship 0:49:14.440 --> 0:49:18.880 with someone expecting them to complete me, expecting them to 0:49:19.680 --> 0:49:23.640 finish me, expecting them to make me better. I think 0:49:23.680 --> 0:49:27.200 one of them the things I try to focus on 0:49:27.320 --> 0:49:30.560 in a relationship or when I'm entering a relationship is 0:49:30.600 --> 0:49:33.560 what can I offer right, not like what can you 0:49:33.719 --> 0:49:37.080 do for me? Right? And I've noticed that even in interviews, 0:49:37.280 --> 0:49:40.839 even in friendships and relationships, I've noticed that if you 0:49:40.920 --> 0:49:44.920 can take the approach of how can I be of service? 0:49:45.840 --> 0:49:48.439 How can I how can I what do I bring 0:49:48.440 --> 0:49:53.680 to this table um can sometimes shift the energy enough, 0:49:54.360 --> 0:49:58.040 like you said, to kind of shake some other things free. Right. 0:49:58.360 --> 0:50:00.840 I agree for a hundred said, but I want to 0:50:00.840 --> 0:50:03.000 go back to something you said. You said you gotta 0:50:03.440 --> 0:50:05.600 find as a single person, I gotta get myself in 0:50:05.640 --> 0:50:08.319 the in the best possible place to then get in 0:50:08.360 --> 0:50:11.279 a relationship. And I don't think that's a hundred percent true, 0:50:11.840 --> 0:50:18.000 never as funny as soon as it's the same thing 0:50:18.040 --> 0:50:20.279 as we were talking about having kids, like you're never 0:50:20.360 --> 0:50:22.400 going to be in a hundred not everything is going 0:50:22.440 --> 0:50:24.760 to come together and be like, oh, I'm a hundred 0:50:24.800 --> 0:50:26.719 percent ready to have kids. I'm a hundred percent ready 0:50:26.719 --> 0:50:30.359 to be because that relationship is going to as you said, 0:50:30.400 --> 0:50:32.440 you give something and they give something and may complete you. 0:50:32.719 --> 0:50:36.160 That relationship is going to continue your growth as to 0:50:36.200 --> 0:50:38.080 who you are. You're never it's not like you're like 0:50:38.239 --> 0:50:40.040 you're buying a house and you're like, I'm financially I'm 0:50:40.080 --> 0:50:41.400 set and now i can have a house and i 0:50:41.440 --> 0:50:43.640 can live in. That's not what a relationship is, and 0:50:43.680 --> 0:50:46.200 that's not what having kids is. So you're never going 0:50:46.239 --> 0:50:50.400 to be ready because that because you can't be a 0:50:50.440 --> 0:50:52.799 hundred percent ready for whoever somebody is that you don't know, 0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:55.399 because that's about the messagement you, guys. And as far 0:50:55.440 --> 0:50:57.680 as a kid, you're never You're never gonna be like 0:50:57.719 --> 0:51:00.239 a hundred percent. Like I'll say this, when we had 0:51:00.239 --> 0:51:03.759 our first child, my daughter, she was she it was 0:51:03.800 --> 0:51:06.440 almost as if she knew that we were first time parents, 0:51:06.520 --> 0:51:11.080 and she really helped us. She really helped us ease 0:51:11.120 --> 0:51:12.879 into the whole thing because we we were never going 0:51:12.920 --> 0:51:15.120 to be fully prepared. It doesn't matter how many nieces 0:51:15.120 --> 0:51:18.040 and nephews you have, You're never fully prepared until you 0:51:18.080 --> 0:51:21.480 have that kid. And so to to Scott's point, what 0:51:21.520 --> 0:51:23.840 I'm saying to that is the same thing with a relationship. 0:51:23.840 --> 0:51:25.600 You will never be like, Okay, now I'm ready for 0:51:25.640 --> 0:51:27.799 a relationship. You will never be ready for that, for 0:51:27.840 --> 0:51:30.640 that relationship until you're in it. True. Well, it's also 0:51:30.719 --> 0:51:36.799 being open to use the word mesh like and I am. 0:51:36.840 --> 0:51:38.799 You know, It's it's like dogs, you know, they start 0:51:38.920 --> 0:51:43.400 looking like the owner after a while. Your your reflection 0:51:43.560 --> 0:51:45.319 of the first of all the people that you can 0:51:45.400 --> 0:51:49.719 surround yourself with, and also obviously your partner because as 0:51:49.800 --> 0:51:52.239 the person you you spend the most time with your 0:51:52.320 --> 0:51:55.759 your your wife, your significant other. Uh. And so yeah, 0:51:55.760 --> 0:51:59.440 I mean you have to there are things that I 0:51:59.480 --> 0:52:01.880 love myself that I don't want to compromise. But at 0:52:01.880 --> 0:52:06.000 the same time, like I am open to to to 0:52:06.360 --> 0:52:10.279 you know, I'm elastic to changing with this person. I 0:52:10.280 --> 0:52:13.359 want to you know, the reason why I love her 0:52:13.440 --> 0:52:17.640 is because that somebody I don't mind remixing my personality with, 0:52:17.800 --> 0:52:21.600 you know, like her and I are shaping each other together. Uh. 0:52:21.600 --> 0:52:24.799 And again, maybe you know, I'm also evolving. I don't 0:52:24.840 --> 0:52:27.960 I don't know everything. Um. And I find myself now 0:52:28.160 --> 0:52:32.080 actually starting to draw some boundaries and and and we're 0:52:32.120 --> 0:52:35.160 having that conversation of like, you know, like this is 0:52:35.200 --> 0:52:37.920 the part of me that I don't want to you know, 0:52:38.520 --> 0:52:41.279 compromise or just like this is something that I would 0:52:41.320 --> 0:52:44.200 love for you to just understand and accept and same 0:52:44.200 --> 0:52:47.160 thing you know about her. But for the most part, 0:52:47.360 --> 0:52:52.680 that common ground it's it's always evolving. It's I do 0:52:52.760 --> 0:52:56.640 want to clarify because when I don't necessarily mean UM, 0:52:57.160 --> 0:53:01.920 but I also feel like the advice, the wisdom in 0:53:02.120 --> 0:53:08.640 both of your reactions to that is UM super worthwhile, right, 0:53:08.680 --> 0:53:12.880 Like there's value and understanding that UM, being open to 0:53:13.520 --> 0:53:16.840 life as it unfolds to you and growing with a 0:53:16.920 --> 0:53:20.080 person because that's the point of the relationship, right, that's 0:53:20.080 --> 0:53:24.720 the point of UM. Advancing through life with a partner 0:53:24.840 --> 0:53:29.920 is to become better together. Right, I'm just saying, and 0:53:29.960 --> 0:53:33.120 I understand that. I'm just saying. I feel like in 0:53:33.200 --> 0:53:37.520 so many instances my peers, people feel like, by this age, 0:53:37.760 --> 0:53:40.720 I gotta do this thing. So they enter these relate 0:53:40.800 --> 0:53:48.799 into relationships with milestones as opposed to UM, um who 0:53:48.840 --> 0:53:51.799 they really are, right and so and so they enter 0:53:52.080 --> 0:53:55.919 relationships with people who are undeveloped as they are undeveloped 0:53:56.400 --> 0:54:00.880 and have no capability of like building anything together, and 0:54:00.920 --> 0:54:03.799 so they just argue and they just fight and then 0:54:03.800 --> 0:54:07.760 they break up. Right. So, just trying to develop myself 0:54:07.840 --> 0:54:11.880 in the best way, Um, I know how so that 0:54:11.880 --> 0:54:13.880 when my partner does show up in my life and 0:54:13.920 --> 0:54:16.759 I do feel like you do know in a lot 0:54:16.800 --> 0:54:19.319 of ways, in a lot of instances, you do know 0:54:20.239 --> 0:54:22.960 this is I think this is gonna be my person, 0:54:23.480 --> 0:54:25.799 And I think, yeah, I think that's true. And I 0:54:25.840 --> 0:54:28.440 and I agree with that. There's no there's no those 0:54:28.480 --> 0:54:31.360 age guidelines. I should be buried by this time, I 0:54:31.360 --> 0:54:33.840 should be in a relationship, I should have kids, But 0:54:33.920 --> 0:54:37.840 none of that matters because there's no everybody's different and 0:54:37.880 --> 0:54:40.560 every chemistry in a relationship is different. Everyone's life is different, 0:54:40.600 --> 0:54:43.200 andyone's background is different. So it depends on when it's 0:54:43.320 --> 0:54:45.680 right for you, and when it's right, it happens. And 0:54:45.760 --> 0:54:48.640 like you said, then you you kind of know, you know, hey, 0:54:48.680 --> 0:54:51.000 this is the person I want to be with. Hey, 0:54:51.040 --> 0:54:53.759 this is I want to be a dad, you know, 0:54:53.800 --> 0:54:56.439 and that type of stuff just clicks. But to make 0:54:56.440 --> 0:55:00.279 decisions based on ages so are very it's just yeah. 0:55:00.360 --> 0:55:05.640 And then also like uh, just expectation wise, like it's 0:55:05.680 --> 0:55:09.200 not Kumbaya forever after like that you're gonna have chemistry 0:55:09.200 --> 0:55:11.040 and fall in love and then let's it. That's the 0:55:11.160 --> 0:55:13.399 right person. Even with the right person there will be 0:55:13.640 --> 0:55:17.160 uncertain times and some times of you know, going back 0:55:17.200 --> 0:55:20.040 and forth, and it's not gonna be perfect. It's just 0:55:20.080 --> 0:55:25.040 a matter of finding somebody you're willing to work with 0:55:25.239 --> 0:55:28.480 and and and build with. When did you know that Jenna, 0:55:29.520 --> 0:55:32.840 for you vow was the one that you wanted that 0:55:34.880 --> 0:55:37.120 When did she show up in your life? And you 0:55:37.160 --> 0:55:44.000 were like, yep, uh, probably as she said, not when 0:55:44.239 --> 0:55:48.000 how how did she show up in your life? Like, well, 0:55:48.040 --> 0:55:50.680 she showed up in my life. I had sexual chemistry 0:55:50.680 --> 0:55:55.480 with her, you know, the physical chemistry. Uh. Then we 0:55:55.600 --> 0:55:58.880 worked a lot together. You know, she before becoming a 0:55:58.920 --> 0:56:03.520 pro on the show. She she assisted me on almost 0:56:03.640 --> 0:56:06.520 all the choreography that I've done on that show when 0:56:06.560 --> 0:56:11.000 she joined the show. So and in that process. Again, 0:56:11.000 --> 0:56:13.200 maybe it's because my relationship with dance, Maybe it was 0:56:13.280 --> 0:56:16.960 relationship with how important that situation was her being a 0:56:17.040 --> 0:56:19.760 companion for me and a support system and my partner 0:56:19.840 --> 0:56:24.399 beyond again our intimacy, uh man, My gratitude for her 0:56:24.520 --> 0:56:27.120 was huge, right, So I was like so grateful to 0:56:27.160 --> 0:56:30.759 her and how unconditionally she she was willing to help 0:56:30.800 --> 0:56:36.680 me anytime. Um, but I had no real Again, it's 0:56:36.760 --> 0:56:39.400 it's kind of it will kind of prove your point 0:56:39.440 --> 0:56:42.719 a little bit. I decided when I decided for myself, 0:56:43.040 --> 0:56:46.759 like I wanted to do this. This feels like it's 0:56:46.840 --> 0:56:49.520 something that I wanna, you know, I want to build. 0:56:49.680 --> 0:56:51.520 I want to plan some seeds with someone, you know, 0:56:51.560 --> 0:56:56.080 I want to I want to build something in, something relevant, 0:56:56.120 --> 0:56:58.319 something that would be here for a long time, rather 0:56:58.360 --> 0:57:02.600 than just you know, jumping around and like again, that 0:57:02.719 --> 0:57:05.279 was a big thing for me because I a lot 0:57:05.360 --> 0:57:09.640 of my a lot of my confidence came from the 0:57:09.680 --> 0:57:15.320 discovery of, you know, of other females. Like this doesn't 0:57:15.320 --> 0:57:18.440 mean that I was sleeping around all the time. It 0:57:18.480 --> 0:57:21.000 wasn't even about sex. It was really about conversation and 0:57:21.000 --> 0:57:25.160 discovery and that whole curiosity um a lot of my 0:57:26.320 --> 0:57:30.439 you know, it's it's maybe I wouldn't say I would 0:57:30.480 --> 0:57:32.200 go as far as I had an issue, but like 0:57:32.600 --> 0:57:35.560 a lot of a lot of my insecurities were healed 0:57:35.640 --> 0:57:37.560 or that it was like a little band aid placed 0:57:37.600 --> 0:57:40.840 on some sort of insecurity that I would have with 0:57:41.080 --> 0:57:45.480 that that those relationships, and after a while I was like, 0:57:45.520 --> 0:57:49.080 this is just a this isn't sustainable and this isn't 0:57:49.120 --> 0:57:51.560 something that I want to live with like, what am 0:57:51.560 --> 0:57:54.120 I waiting for. I have someone in front of me 0:57:54.240 --> 0:57:57.840 that's you know, that that I truly love and that 0:57:57.960 --> 0:58:02.800 I see an incredible heart in and and just you 0:58:02.840 --> 0:58:05.440 know her values are similar and aligned with me. You 0:58:05.480 --> 0:58:08.800 know that I feel like this. You're not gonna You're 0:58:08.800 --> 0:58:11.360 not gonna find somebody that's perfectly compatible. But like, as 0:58:11.400 --> 0:58:14.080 long as you have like a core belief system that 0:58:14.520 --> 0:58:17.800 is somehow in aligned, then everything else can be you know, 0:58:18.080 --> 0:58:22.680 can be adjusted and it's and it's right, and it's 0:58:22.720 --> 0:58:24.800 it's what you said. You're like, oh, I was jumping around, 0:58:24.840 --> 0:58:27.480 it's not And then I thought, oh, this is it 0:58:27.600 --> 0:58:29.720 started to click in your head. This is kind of 0:58:29.760 --> 0:58:31.400 what I want to do now. I think I'm ready 0:58:31.440 --> 0:58:34.320 for a relationship because you met the person that all 0:58:34.320 --> 0:58:36.080 of a sudden you realize that this is, this is 0:58:36.320 --> 0:58:38.680 I want to explore more. This is bringing out something more, 0:58:39.120 --> 0:58:41.280 because if you were with the wrong person, it doesn't 0:58:41.280 --> 0:58:43.200 matter what age you were, you weren't Like this is 0:58:43.200 --> 0:58:44.800 why I think I'm ready for this now, This this 0:58:44.840 --> 0:58:47.120 feels right because it wouldn't do right. Maybe you'd make 0:58:47.160 --> 0:58:50.640 a decision and you haven't obviously in the past. Maybe 0:58:50.640 --> 0:58:52.560 you'd make a decision and say, oh this, I should 0:58:52.600 --> 0:58:55.320 do this, but you would know that it's not right 0:58:55.680 --> 0:58:57.400 and we gotta wrap in a second. But I want 0:58:57.440 --> 0:59:00.360 to say back to that other email, um, and because 0:59:00.400 --> 0:59:05.040 we're talking relationships and stuff, UM. Recently, like you know, 0:59:05.200 --> 0:59:07.480 fifteen years of marriage, four kids doesn't come It's not 0:59:07.520 --> 0:59:10.040 like every day is awesome and every days you know, 0:59:10.480 --> 0:59:13.280 there's no arguments. But I'll say recently, my wife and 0:59:13.320 --> 0:59:15.560 I were on a zoom call the school, like all 0:59:15.720 --> 0:59:18.880 like hundreds of parents were on this thing and we're 0:59:18.880 --> 0:59:22.400 watching it, and the chat was coming up and some 0:59:22.480 --> 0:59:25.680 parents were asking some ridiculous questions and stuff, and I 0:59:25.760 --> 0:59:28.280 just kind of muted it. We were on mute anyway, 0:59:28.320 --> 0:59:30.760 and I turned and my wife and I started laughing. 0:59:30.800 --> 0:59:33.320 We started kind of joking about some of the comments 0:59:33.360 --> 0:59:35.439 that were coming up and stuff, and we just sat 0:59:35.480 --> 0:59:38.360 and we started laughing, and it was like it was 0:59:38.360 --> 0:59:40.360 almost like we were on our first date again. It's 0:59:40.400 --> 0:59:43.040 like all the stress, and that's what I was saying about, 0:59:43.080 --> 0:59:45.400 sometimes you gotta step away all the stress of having 0:59:45.400 --> 0:59:47.919 four kids and and both of us working and being 0:59:47.960 --> 0:59:51.240 home and quarantine and all this stuff. All that for 0:59:51.360 --> 0:59:54.320 like for five minutes, all that disappeared, and then it 0:59:54.440 --> 0:59:57.520 was like it was just this great moment. And so 0:59:57.760 --> 1:00:00.439 I think sometimes in a relationship where one that one 1:00:00.600 --> 1:00:03.600 email twenty three years in all of a sudden, sometimes 1:00:03.600 --> 1:00:06.720 it's just about stepping back and finding finding that thing again. 1:00:07.000 --> 1:00:11.360 So it's like everything. It's like it's like everything in life. 1:00:11.560 --> 1:00:14.800 You know, the more time you commit to it, the 1:00:14.880 --> 1:00:19.320 more effort, the more pride you will have in it. 1:00:19.360 --> 1:00:20.920 And I think that was a moment I was like, 1:00:20.960 --> 1:00:23.360 I'm not proud of any of this, you know, like 1:00:23.440 --> 1:00:26.640 none of none of this. Well, that's a that's a word, 1:00:27.000 --> 1:00:30.880 that's a whole I'm not that's a whole word. Like 1:00:31.120 --> 1:00:34.560 I'm sorry, Like I'm not proud of none of this. 1:00:34.880 --> 1:00:39.480 I want to build something I'm proud of. Yeah, and 1:00:39.520 --> 1:00:45.320 then that's it. Then, Jenna, exactly, and I'm so proud 1:00:45.360 --> 1:00:48.960 of That's again, it's not it's not easy. I think 1:00:48.960 --> 1:00:53.360 people should stop looking for shortcuts, you know, like embrace 1:00:53.760 --> 1:00:56.400 that it's tough, and embrace the fact that there's gonna 1:00:56.440 --> 1:00:59.400 be more, you know, peaks and valleys, so to speak 1:00:59.480 --> 1:01:03.240 right and of and and seek help as well. And 1:01:03.320 --> 1:01:07.320 guys like I am very open to therapy. I we 1:01:07.440 --> 1:01:11.240 we haven't had any yet, uh, but um, you know, 1:01:11.320 --> 1:01:13.800 if we ever get to that point, I'm very open 1:01:14.120 --> 1:01:17.520 to to therapy and help because again, I'm very proud 1:01:17.560 --> 1:01:19.680 of us, and I want us to continue to build 1:01:19.720 --> 1:01:22.560 something that you know, with time, I could look back 1:01:22.600 --> 1:01:25.680 and be proud of. I feel like I feel like 1:01:25.720 --> 1:01:28.000 the three hopefully for the listeners too, I like the 1:01:28.440 --> 1:01:30.520 three of us have really helped each other, and I, 1:01:30.760 --> 1:01:33.400 for one, I look forward to hearing about Scott's relationship 1:01:33.480 --> 1:01:35.600 and I look forward to vow. When you guys announced 1:01:35.600 --> 1:01:37.760 that you're having away and you're naming him Demitri after me, 1:01:38.160 --> 1:01:41.959 this is really bad. This is really really nice scene 1:01:42.080 --> 1:01:45.560 right now. By the way, I don't know if you're 1:01:45.600 --> 1:01:49.120 still struggling with that, but Dmitri is a dope name. 1:01:50.120 --> 1:01:52.960 I love it. I love it. Yeah, yeah, demon, you 1:01:53.000 --> 1:01:55.240 know it's short demon in Russian. I don't know if 1:01:55.240 --> 1:01:58.080 you have that same And yeah, I don't get. I 1:01:58.280 --> 1:02:00.320 don't get. I have friends that had that a game. 1:02:00.360 --> 1:02:02.360 But so when you were telling all that story, like 1:02:02.480 --> 1:02:06.080 I grew up in New York parents Greek, and but 1:02:06.120 --> 1:02:08.000 I was just in the other I was in a story. 1:02:08.200 --> 1:02:16.280 So we weren't I was about But before before we 1:02:16.320 --> 1:02:19.480 go anything, you want to tell everybody the listeners have 1:02:20.240 --> 1:02:22.800 any plugs, anything they want to, you know, where they 1:02:22.800 --> 1:02:25.120 can find you. You're certainly you know, you have an 1:02:25.160 --> 1:02:27.960 inspirational story, and I think people might be interested in 1:02:28.000 --> 1:02:30.840 reaching out and hearing more. You have a Instagram or 1:02:30.880 --> 1:02:33.040 anything like that you want people to check out? Yeah, 1:02:33.080 --> 1:02:40.960 I have an Instagram Valentine at Valentine, no e, just Valentine. Um, yeah, 1:02:41.080 --> 1:02:45.880 I again, I you know, I have a lot of 1:02:45.920 --> 1:02:48.520 things to plug. I don't. I don't really, you know, 1:02:48.640 --> 1:02:51.120 just go on my account you'll see stuff that I plugged. 1:02:51.160 --> 1:02:56.200 But I'm very grateful to to to have the attention 1:02:56.240 --> 1:02:58.480 and the platform, and I just try to be as 1:02:58.560 --> 1:03:00.960 productive with it as possible. You know, Fame without a 1:03:01.120 --> 1:03:04.680 causes is a nuisance, you know to me? So um, 1:03:04.720 --> 1:03:07.640 you know, I just I want to I want to 1:03:07.640 --> 1:03:09.480 be able to serve the world as much as I 1:03:09.480 --> 1:03:11.680 can with this megaphone that I have at the moment. 1:03:11.760 --> 1:03:13.520 You know, I don't know how much longer I'll have it, 1:03:14.320 --> 1:03:17.200 So that's it. I think you'll have it for a while. 1:03:17.600 --> 1:03:22.480 Family without causes a nuisance. I love that. That's fantastic. Hey, 1:03:22.800 --> 1:03:25.080 are you gonna be in the fall? Dancing was starting 1:03:25.120 --> 1:03:27.160 with the stars? Masks are no mask was the deal. 1:03:28.040 --> 1:03:31.720 I don't know those those details yet, those safety precautions, 1:03:31.720 --> 1:03:34.520 I don't know yet. Who knows tomorrow they'll come out 1:03:34.520 --> 1:03:36.880 with an article that masks are actually bad for you. 1:03:37.000 --> 1:03:40.160 So that's true hanging in as long as you don't, 1:03:40.240 --> 1:03:41.840 as long as you don't go to the seventh grade, 1:03:41.840 --> 1:03:50.720 six ft apart dance room. For Jesus, even the spirit 1:03:51.800 --> 1:03:53.840 wear your masks, Guys, I don't. I don't want to. 1:03:53.880 --> 1:03:57.040 I don't. I don't want to spread any misinformation. I'm 1:03:57.080 --> 1:03:59.200 excited for the full I think the world needs a 1:03:59.240 --> 1:04:02.240 little dancing with the stars, you know. And I I'm 1:04:02.280 --> 1:04:06.320 excited for the cast. I'm excited for again. I just 1:04:06.720 --> 1:04:09.280 miss dance. I miss It's such a big part of 1:04:09.320 --> 1:04:11.480 my life that uh, you know, it gave you so 1:04:11.560 --> 1:04:15.280 much purpose and so much joy, and you know, also 1:04:15.320 --> 1:04:18.120 it's kind of nurturing a little injury, and I'm not 1:04:18.200 --> 1:04:21.680 as active, and so yeah, it would be a lot, 1:04:21.760 --> 1:04:24.120 you know. Back to that other conversation we had, Scott, 1:04:24.360 --> 1:04:26.160 It's it's not a pillar that you should lean on, 1:04:26.240 --> 1:04:28.880 but it would be a lot harder without Jenna, without 1:04:28.920 --> 1:04:32.920 my wife being here with me. And so it's special 1:04:32.920 --> 1:04:35.760 shout out to people that are quarantine and in isolation 1:04:35.880 --> 1:04:39.040 alone and and don't have people. So that's another place 1:04:39.080 --> 1:04:42.200 where my platform, uh, you know, I want to capitalize 1:04:42.200 --> 1:04:45.240 on being a place where you could be part of 1:04:45.240 --> 1:04:47.560 a community that you know, so you feel less alone. 1:04:47.600 --> 1:04:49.280 I try to check in with people all the time 1:04:49.320 --> 1:04:52.919 and again spread the good fortune that I'm I'm lucky 1:04:53.000 --> 1:04:55.680 enough to have the only thing I don't want you 1:04:55.720 --> 1:04:58.640 to think about, um after this conversation while you're dancing 1:04:58.720 --> 1:05:01.520 or dancing with the stars, don't think, by any means 1:05:01.520 --> 1:05:03.520 because of this conversation that people are gonna be looking 1:05:03.520 --> 1:05:04.760 to see if you get a bone or at any 1:05:04.760 --> 1:05:10.840 point they say the demetri What you don't know is 1:05:10.840 --> 1:05:17.400 that their entire websites dedicated to the possibility and the 1:05:17.480 --> 1:05:23.800 judgment of But it's like it's incredible. But that's what 1:05:23.800 --> 1:05:26.120 happens when you when you win the mirror ball more 1:05:26.160 --> 1:05:29.800 than once, you know what I mean. It comes with 1:05:29.840 --> 1:05:33.560 the territory. Scott, anything you'd like to say before we 1:05:33.720 --> 1:05:35.720 sign off, Well, I think first I just want to 1:05:35.760 --> 1:05:41.360 thank you Dmitri and Um Brooks and the entire team 1:05:41.680 --> 1:05:46.360 here for creating this space where people can come or 1:05:46.520 --> 1:05:50.040 they can show up right um and offer a bit 1:05:50.080 --> 1:05:53.520 of themselves and the hopes that it blesses some listeners 1:05:53.560 --> 1:05:57.720 life um, but also that the conversations themselves can bless 1:05:58.240 --> 1:06:01.840 the participants of the conversation. UM. It's a really every 1:06:01.880 --> 1:06:05.000 time I've i've I've seen this thing, I've heard this thing, 1:06:05.080 --> 1:06:07.240 or been a part of this thing, it has been 1:06:07.880 --> 1:06:11.720 UM affirming in a way of whether I learned something 1:06:11.760 --> 1:06:16.080 new or I'm triggered and I gotta like check myself, 1:06:16.720 --> 1:06:21.000 or um, I am able to help a friend through 1:06:21.160 --> 1:06:23.560 something that they're dealing with, you know, as a result 1:06:23.560 --> 1:06:25.800 of listening to some of the wisdom that's that's shared here. 1:06:25.840 --> 1:06:29.480 And so I'm just I'm thankful that for men in particular, 1:06:29.800 --> 1:06:38.400 this space exists where real, um, beneficial conversation can be shared. UM, 1:06:38.440 --> 1:06:41.240 that is beyond some of the surface stuff we find 1:06:41.240 --> 1:06:44.520 ourselves in so often because we're sometimes more comfortable there. 1:06:45.280 --> 1:06:47.520 So I just want to say thank you. UM. I 1:06:47.560 --> 1:06:49.560 am Scott Evans on everything. So if you ever want 1:06:49.560 --> 1:06:50.920 to check you out any of the stuff that I'm 1:06:50.960 --> 1:06:54.440 on Uh, don't hesitate. And you know, while you're waiting 1:06:54.480 --> 1:06:56.520 on Dance with the Stars to return, there is a 1:06:56.600 --> 1:07:00.600 dance show on NBC right now ten pm. It's called 1:07:00.600 --> 1:07:03.520 World to check it out. Um, but you know Shame's 1:07:03.560 --> 1:07:09.920 plug and every night on Access Hollywood. So but but 1:07:10.080 --> 1:07:14.120 in reality and in all seriousness, I value the way 1:07:14.320 --> 1:07:17.400 value show up to your life. I appreciate the way 1:07:17.440 --> 1:07:22.360 that you own not just your victories, um, but your 1:07:23.440 --> 1:07:27.240 mistakes and how they don't how neither one of those things, 1:07:27.240 --> 1:07:36.640 in particular or singularly, um, uh, determine what your value is, right, 1:07:37.240 --> 1:07:41.480 It's the accumulation of all of them. I'm more proud 1:07:41.560 --> 1:07:45.840 of my mistakes than than even some of my victories, 1:07:46.000 --> 1:07:49.960 like like, like what I said about Jordan's and last dance. Again, 1:07:50.120 --> 1:07:54.480 I'm not referencing basketball and time, but like, um, it 1:07:54.520 --> 1:07:57.560 makes me more human, which makes all the pluses that 1:07:57.800 --> 1:08:01.480 much more of an accomplishment. So I'm just as proud 1:08:01.520 --> 1:08:06.040 of the mistakes that I made. I genuinely mean that, um, 1:08:06.080 --> 1:08:08.280 as much as I you know the times that I've 1:08:08.320 --> 1:08:11.400 lost as much as I I have one so equally, 1:08:11.400 --> 1:08:14.000 but thank you, And I second with what you said 1:08:14.000 --> 1:08:17.680 about the space it's it's dope to you know, to 1:08:18.000 --> 1:08:21.040 be in an environment that isn't preaching but just sharing. 1:08:21.240 --> 1:08:22.920 You learn a lot more from I mean, I think 1:08:22.920 --> 1:08:26.519 people are much more receptive in that in that sphere. 1:08:28.120 --> 1:08:29.880 That's very nice that it's very kind of both you 1:08:29.920 --> 1:08:31.960 and you know, a lot of people say it's nice 1:08:32.000 --> 1:08:33.920 that we have this thing, but you know what, we 1:08:34.000 --> 1:08:36.360 learn a lot as we're doing these two and they're 1:08:36.400 --> 1:08:39.599 inspirational for us. And and you know, no one knows everything, 1:08:39.640 --> 1:08:42.200 so it's nice. It's nice to have us for guys 1:08:42.240 --> 1:08:45.479 to sit down and and put down the guards and 1:08:45.720 --> 1:08:47.519 you know, and have real conversation. So I'm glad that 1:08:47.479 --> 1:08:49.280 we're able to do it as well. And I thank 1:08:49.320 --> 1:08:52.400 you both for joining us. And this has been another 1:08:52.439 --> 1:08:55.840 episode of how men Think. I think Brooks will probably 1:08:55.840 --> 1:08:58.280 say love one another, hug one another or something like that. 1:08:58.280 --> 1:09:01.000 I forget, forget it his favorite tagus. But thanks for 1:09:01.080 --> 1:09:02.360 joining us, and we'll see you next time.