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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with and Gavin grab And

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Speaker 1: I heard radio podcast. Hello and welcome to another episode

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Speaker 1: of How Men Think. This is Dmitri. Clearly you can

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Speaker 1: tell by my voice I am not Brooks like Um

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Speaker 1: Brooks is. Uh, my guest is today he's probably skydiving

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Speaker 1: with his dog or doing some sort of thing that

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Speaker 1: I could never do. So he's busy today and and

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Speaker 1: the gentlemen are off today. So it's myself and I'm

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Speaker 1: joined by Scott Evans in Hollywood and everything else. Breath

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Speaker 1: just trying to you know, trying to stay employed out here,

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Speaker 1: trying to get this house. But I think I did

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Speaker 1: just see on on Brooks's um Instagram. I believe he

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Speaker 1: was kayaking Niagara Falls, but he's going up, going up

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Speaker 1: the falls, um. And my comment was, I think you're

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Speaker 1: doing that wrong, but I still admire it. Still. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure if I told everybody who at this is

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Speaker 1: Demitri of the way, but yes, I saw Um Brooks

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Speaker 1: posted this thing the other day where he was like

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Speaker 1: playing spike ball or whatever that is, and he's up

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Speaker 1: in the air like six ft there's everything is is

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Speaker 1: ripped on him. And it was like the advertisement for

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Speaker 1: spike Ball did not look as good as this thing.

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Speaker 1: I was like, man, you're just like he even makes

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Speaker 1: spike Ball look intimidating. And we're like, what seventy two

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Speaker 1: years into quarantine and you stilln't to have every single

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Speaker 1: one of your abs, like you still have right like

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Speaker 1: under ten percent body fat, like you've not had a donut.

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Speaker 1: The entire form team right exactly. I'm trying to get

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Speaker 1: a gluten allergy right like I'm trying to catch it.

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Speaker 1: I'm told it doesn't work that way, but like, man,

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Speaker 1: it's it's real, it's real. The only thing I realized

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Speaker 1: lately is that I'm not good enough shape to play

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Speaker 1: spike ball. So I give up. It's a minimum requirement.

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Speaker 1: So we're so we have a night special guest joining us,

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Speaker 1: say Valsch Murkoffsky from Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: hope there's no there's no beef between dancing shows here.

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Speaker 1: Are you okay with us? No? See, I'm not a pro.

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Speaker 1: I'm just the host the World of Dance. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Now, If you'd have brought Derek Huff,

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Speaker 1: I might have been an issue, right, But they're actually

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Speaker 1: great friends, and I know that that that wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: been an issue either. But that is a He is

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Speaker 1: a good dude, you know what I mean. Not only

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Speaker 1: is he an incredible dancer. I've met him years ago

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Speaker 1: at one of the UM I think it was a

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Speaker 1: a promo shoot for Dancing with the Stars. It was

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Speaker 1: the year that Paula Deane was on, and that was

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Speaker 1: the first time I'd ever interviewed Val. I've met him

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Speaker 1: a couple of times. It ever interviewed him and it

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Speaker 1: was like, you know how you you just meet some

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Speaker 1: people and it's like, actually, we have a really good vibe. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's one of those people. He's and he's he every

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Speaker 1: time he showed up the same way. He's a good guy.

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Speaker 1: And his brother too. I So, I'm a comedy writer

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Speaker 1: and I'm a comedy consultant. I worked with different celebs

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Speaker 1: and I was working on Steve Harvey, Steve The Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Show, and uh Max came on with Peter and

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Speaker 1: then Mountain come on as well. And man, you just

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Speaker 1: know when people come someplace, you can just tell right

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Speaker 1: away what kind of person they are by the entourage

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Speaker 1: that they come or don't come with the attitude the

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Speaker 1: way you know when they speak to people, even someone

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Speaker 1: that was showing them the room, you know, their addressing room,

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Speaker 1: just so polite and so nice and and and humble

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Speaker 1: and and and that's exactly the way, uh, the way

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Speaker 1: he and his brother are. So I'm looking forward to

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Speaker 1: this to speaking with him as well. And he had

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Speaker 1: to make up, you know, uh with Max, who's like

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Speaker 1: six nine something from my perspective, he's six nine, you know,

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Speaker 1: with talent, you know, he's like five three. I give

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Speaker 1: him a hard time every time. He's like, I gotta

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Speaker 1: be the better dancer because he's taller than me. So funny,

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Speaker 1: I can't wait. Yeah, Um, well, we're gonna go to

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Speaker 1: a break and then I think let's just get him

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Speaker 1: in here and start the conversation. Let's do it. All right,

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Speaker 1: we're back and Scott and I are joined by Val.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it, Smurkowsky, good right. I want to

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Speaker 1: ever get it right. Uh my wife got it right

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Speaker 1: a couple of times. But that was really good, thank you,

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Speaker 1: of course. Uh no, I'm used to you know, my

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Speaker 1: name is Dmitri obviously, and when when I was growing up, um,

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Speaker 1: nobody could pronounce my name, and so it was you know,

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Speaker 1: I was back in the early eighties, and so when

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Speaker 1: I was in school, they'd be like, every time the

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Speaker 1: substitute would get to the name on the list, they pause,

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Speaker 1: and I just raised my hand and be like here,

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Speaker 1: so all right, well thanks for joining us, Thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you for having a lot of exciting stuff going on. Um,

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Speaker 1: let's get into it first. So you're you're when we were,

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Speaker 1: tell why don't you get everybody familiar with yourself a

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Speaker 1: little bit? Yeah, I mean because because you have quite

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Speaker 1: a you and your brother have quite an interesting story. Um,

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Speaker 1: I guess the elevator intro is. Um. I am a

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Speaker 1: Latin dancer from Ukraine that grew up in Brooklyn, New

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Speaker 1: York in a you know, fairly conservative Eastern European family. Uh,

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Speaker 1: moved to americaand ninety four when I was eight years old. Um. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I grew up on everything Brooklyn at that time. You know,

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Speaker 1: I was influenced by the hip hop culture that was

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Speaker 1: going on, the Melican pot cultural uh, surroundings of mind

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Speaker 1: from like every ethnic group in the world, you know,

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Speaker 1: going from a place where you just see one type

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Speaker 1: of person from I'm from the Ukraine, mum, to then

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Speaker 1: seeing all these colors, all these cultures. I think that

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Speaker 1: had a huge impact on me and me moving here

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Speaker 1: when I was eight versus my brother moving when he

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Speaker 1: was fourteen. You could see a difference in even the assimilation, right,

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Speaker 1: and how quickly I picked up basket Uh basketball, get

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Speaker 1: yeah exactly, but like how quickly I picked up the

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Speaker 1: language versus even him till this day, um versus you know,

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Speaker 1: just in general, the spirit of of a you know,

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Speaker 1: I feel like kids, kids see the world from a

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Speaker 1: different lens, you know, in a different way. So he

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Speaker 1: was fourteen, he was you know, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: Stephan Marbury went to Lincoln High School that was around

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Speaker 1: Coney Island area, and so that was the high school

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Speaker 1: that my brother, uh initially was supposed to go to,

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Speaker 1: and uh, he was incredibly intimidated by just again, it

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Speaker 1: was like a title wave of change. Um. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that impacted the rest of our lives. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's like a domino effect. Anyway, I grew up in

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Speaker 1: New York. How did we get into dance? My parents

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Speaker 1: never danced, because I think that's like, you know, people

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Speaker 1: know me from Dancing with the Stars, They know both

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Speaker 1: of us from you know, from the world of dance.

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Speaker 1: But um my first I guess artistic passion was violent.

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Speaker 1: I played violin very seriously from what I was I

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Speaker 1: would say, five years old till about seventeen. The city

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Speaker 1: that I'm from, Adjessa, is on on the coast of

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Speaker 1: the Black Sea. It's a very vibrant city. It's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the New Orleans of the Soviet Union at

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Speaker 1: the time, and so jazz music it's like a huge

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Speaker 1: part of that of that city. So and and that

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Speaker 1: city has, um, I guess, the most prestigious music school

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Speaker 1: in in the former Soviet Union, where so music and

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Speaker 1: stuff was always out of kind of in your in

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Speaker 1: your blood or in your Yeah. So I got a

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Speaker 1: question though, So you and your brother, you're you're two

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Speaker 1: extremely good looking, straight, fantastic dancers. Like you guys basically

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Speaker 1: cornered the market on that point, Like how did I

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Speaker 1: want to get into that? Like how you guys both

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Speaker 1: dance became such a big thing for both of you.

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Speaker 1: It was, I mean, it was, it wasn't I know,

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Speaker 1: like some people, like I don't know the be age,

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Speaker 1: some people see footloose and they're like, man, I want

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Speaker 1: to be a dancer. I personally saw a fletch and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I want to be a smartass, Like

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Speaker 1: that's where I'm gonna That's where I'm gonna use my talents.

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Speaker 1: But so how did that happen? Yeah, I I saw

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Speaker 1: Jordan's and I wanted to be a basketball player, you know. Um,

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Speaker 1: and then um, you know, my groatspur didn't hit as

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Speaker 1: hard as I was expecting. But but dance was an

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Speaker 1: after school activity and and and the Ukraine it wasn't

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Speaker 1: tabooful for boys to dance, you know. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna lie and say it was as cool as wrestling,

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Speaker 1: but it was. It was similar. You know, you signed

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Speaker 1: your kid up for boxing, you signed your kid up

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Speaker 1: for ballroom dancing, you signed your kid up for gymnastics,

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Speaker 1: and so um. When my brother was five years old,

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Speaker 1: my parents wanted to be great parents. They were young.

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Speaker 1: They had him when when they were nine years old,

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Speaker 1: and so uh, you know those ideals of young parenthood.

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Speaker 1: You know, you're trying to put him into all these

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Speaker 1: things and give them opportunities and so um. One of

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Speaker 1: the things in Ukraine they had an after school activity

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Speaker 1: for boys to you know, learn uh etiquette, you know,

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Speaker 1: how to be young gentleman, and ballroom dancing was part

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Speaker 1: of that curriculum. Then the boom dance teacher saw him,

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Speaker 1: recruited him, told my parents that he had a lot

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Speaker 1: of potential. Whether he did or not, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: You know, boys are scarce in the field. They're very

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Speaker 1: scarce in the field, So I don't know if she

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Speaker 1: was just recruiting another boy. But he signed up and

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Speaker 1: and and really my parents loved what it did for

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Speaker 1: his social fear. You know, it opened him up. Whether

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Speaker 1: there was no intention for ballroom competitive ballroom Latin dancing

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Speaker 1: to be a career path at any point, it was

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Speaker 1: just a tool for a young man to develop himself outside,

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Speaker 1: you know, as an athlete. He swam and played tennis

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Speaker 1: as a as a you know, in his artistic inclination,

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Speaker 1: which again ballroom dance kind of uh covered that, but

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Speaker 1: also his social ability to like be okay in the

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Speaker 1: in the you know, in the distance of a female. Right.

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Speaker 1: So it's like the more distance, the more fear, the

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Speaker 1: more I feel like as you grow up with that,

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Speaker 1: the more discomfort because you know, and whatever anxiety, whatever, whatever,

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Speaker 1: you know, the less you know it was, the less

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Speaker 1: you know, right, Yeah, yeah, you don't know how to act,

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Speaker 1: you act exactly and so um yeah, then we moved.

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Speaker 1: And when we moved to Brooklyn. Uh, you know, we

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Speaker 1: didn't have much. My parents were working and uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: they believed that, you know, they want their kids to

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Speaker 1: to to stay out of trouble, they need to occupy

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Speaker 1: their time, um, while they're at work. So we went

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Speaker 1: to school at the school. We were packed. So I

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Speaker 1: signed up for dance as well because my brother was

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Speaker 1: going to dance. They found a local dance school. Um,

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Speaker 1: signed me up for violin. I was going to some violin,

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Speaker 1: you know. And it wasn't like in in the in

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Speaker 1: the school structure. It was more like we found a

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Speaker 1: private you know, we found a violent teacher in the

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Speaker 1: Russian community. We found a ballroom dance school in the

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Speaker 1: Russian community. You know, you gravitate to the community that

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Speaker 1: you're familiar with. You try to find as much familiar

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Speaker 1: ground as possible. And so um in Brooklyn too, you

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Speaker 1: have you have those those communities exist, right Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that you you moved from from the Ukraine to Brooklyn,

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Speaker 1: but it was just another where you moved. This is

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Speaker 1: another version of Ukraine in Brooklyn. It was. It was

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Speaker 1: a micro Yeah, it created that and that's you know,

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Speaker 1: that's as important. Yeah, it's very important. And I'm so

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Speaker 1: lucky for that because you know, we joke around and

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Speaker 1: no offense to Milwaukee, but if we moved to Milwaukee,

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Speaker 1: and I know there's a Russian community in Milwaukee as well,

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Speaker 1: just believe it or not, it's Russians everywhere. Um to

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Speaker 1: New York City was like the greatest thing in the world,

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Speaker 1: you know, for us, because it was tough, it was

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Speaker 1: really difficult, but it, you know, laid a ground word

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Speaker 1: for a work ethic and and a cultural enlightenment. Like

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Speaker 1: I said earlier, that I mean served me till this day.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm so proud to have had that influence.

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Speaker 1: Ut you know, we have a famous story where we

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Speaker 1: landed in Brooklyn the second day in America. Are you

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Speaker 1: know some friends to relatives we didn't have. We don't

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Speaker 1: have the many relatives in America. You know. It was

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Speaker 1: just the five of us, uh, you know, parents, my

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Speaker 1: brother and myself and our grandma and they have lived

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Speaker 1: here since the late seventies, so they were a little

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Speaker 1: more established. They got us roller blades and so we

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Speaker 1: put on these roller blades and we go across the

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Speaker 1: street to the park and we get surround. Well we

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Speaker 1: gets right, he gets surrounded and gets robbed for his rollerblades.

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Speaker 1: And you know, in hindsight, it's it's a laughing matter

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Speaker 1: because we're all good, everything's fine. But um yeah, he

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Speaker 1: he laughs because he was he was robbed by like

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Speaker 1: the United Nations. You know, it was like two Italian kids,

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Speaker 1: you know, a black kid as you know, a Puerto

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Speaker 1: Rican kid, an Asian kid, an Irish kid, and they

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Speaker 1: were all like just hanging and and so so a

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Speaker 1: dude with rollerblades on, you know. So um yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was kind of like our welcome to America. Uh, unfortunately

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Speaker 1: that's not that's not good welcome to America. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know if I answer your question. The point is

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Speaker 1: dance was a tool for us to earn some money.

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Speaker 1: And that's weird to say, but our first gig, I

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Speaker 1: was twelve. My brother was seventeen at the time, and

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Speaker 1: well he had worked since he was sixteen. But when

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Speaker 1: I when I turned twelve, when I was already like

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Speaker 1: good enough to to look at as a dancer, uh,

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Speaker 1: definitely illegally employed for sure. I mean I'm sure some

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Speaker 1: labor laws were questionable at the time, but basically we

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Speaker 1: started dancing in Russian restaurants in Brooklyn, New York, in

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Speaker 1: that community. And usually it was like Friday nights, like

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Speaker 1: eleven thirty pm, Saturday nights eleven thirty pm. That was

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Speaker 1: like the time when you know, after the appetizers were served,

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Speaker 1: you know, the liquor had settled, and now you know,

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Speaker 1: let's let's have fun. And it's that whole scene. Is

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Speaker 1: the whole scene, bro, It's that Eastern Promises type of scenario.

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Speaker 1: You've got live cabaret singers, a feast going on, and

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Speaker 1: you know, some shady stuff going on somewhere in the kit. Like,

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Speaker 1: it was the whole thing. And I had twelve years old,

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Speaker 1: this was my stage, and um and I was getting

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Speaker 1: paid twenty five bucks per night, you know, and like

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Speaker 1: I saved up and bought myself a game boy and

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Speaker 1: at twelve years old, you know, to be able to

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Speaker 1: learn how to earn uh using a skill that like,

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Speaker 1: you know, it became my superpower besides the the earning

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Speaker 1: you know, and and earning my dues as well financially

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Speaker 1: for the family that didn't have much. Um, I bought

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Speaker 1: myself a pair of Jenkos, you know, I never like,

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Speaker 1: which which was a huge waste of money for my parents,

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Speaker 1: but for me, that was social currency. Man. Like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I went from I didn't have any Jordan's growing up.

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Speaker 1: I didn't have you know, my parents like bought me

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Speaker 1: sneakers from payless for thirty bucks, and I thought, I was, like,

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Speaker 1: I was so grateful, you know. So for me to

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Speaker 1: be able to earn some money buy myself some Djenkos

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Speaker 1: and finally get you know, start assimilating into into the

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Speaker 1: crowd of the cafeteria was like a huge deal. And

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Speaker 1: I think you definitely you said you started dancing to

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Speaker 1: earn money. I think you certainly accomplished that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: probably more than you ever dreamed. Did you. Did your

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Speaker 1: brother get your roller bloods? Oh no, you never rollerblades since?

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Speaker 1: Never again? I smell a gift, right do that? But

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Speaker 1: that it's interesting because you talk about dancing in restaurants

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Speaker 1: right as kind of like the after meal entertainment right

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Speaker 1: to then multiple worldwide Latin Dance Championships, multiple US championships,

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Speaker 1: I think two times, two time mirror Ball championship. You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, so you you go from dancing

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Speaker 1: in these restaurants to dancing on the biggest stage in

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Speaker 1: the country, um, on television weekly and winning. What was

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Speaker 1: that like for you? Going from from living in in

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Speaker 1: on the East coast, now you're on the West coast,

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Speaker 1: this big show. You're single, dude, you're killing it. What

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Speaker 1: is life like then? Um? It was, you know, incredibly

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Speaker 1: Like I felt an incredible sense of gratitude. I think

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Speaker 1: that's why, you know, I do so much mentoring and

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Speaker 1: trying to pass it forward so much that that's where

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Speaker 1: it comes from. Is that I feel really lucky. Um.

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Speaker 1: And yes, luck is preparation needs opportunity. I don't I

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Speaker 1: don't feel like I don't deserve this. I I definitely

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Speaker 1: deserve it. But I'm very grateful to have been given,

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Speaker 1: uh the good fortune to be at the right place

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Speaker 1: that you know, it's like the Outliers that booked by

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Speaker 1: Malcolm Coldwell, It's like there's there's a reason for everything,

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Speaker 1: and I'm grateful for that struggle. I'm grateful that I

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Speaker 1: was playing. To answer your question, it's all relative, you know,

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Speaker 1: from I danced in restaurants, UM, nursing homes, you know,

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Speaker 1: like that whole thing to too, and because violin was

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Speaker 1: a big thing to Carnegie Hall at fifteen too, you know,

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Speaker 1: Lincoln Center, and then local competitions and you know and

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Speaker 1: like weird places in the Tri State area with like

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Speaker 1: thirty people in the audience and twenty kids dancing, you know,

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Speaker 1: to Dancing with the Star. But it was a slow

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Speaker 1: grind and to be completely honest, like there wasn't a

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Speaker 1: time where I didn't feel happy or feel like confident,

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Speaker 1: you know, for me, being in that restaurant was as

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Speaker 1: you know, there was as much accountability and focus and

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Speaker 1: you know, and you know afterwards joy um as there

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Speaker 1: is now on Dancing with the Stars like that. It's

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Speaker 1: pretty It's never changed. That's pretty. I mean, obviously I

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Speaker 1: think you you obviously come from a good family and

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Speaker 1: you have that in you that you're grateful to begin with.

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Speaker 1: But I think probably earning that along the way helped,

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Speaker 1: because there's something to be said about something that's just

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Speaker 1: kind of handed fame and somebody that earns it. But

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Speaker 1: I appreciate the fact that you are grateful for for

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Speaker 1: all those different stages that you're grateful. You don't look

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Speaker 1: back at the restaurant stuff and think I had a

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Speaker 1: dance at the restaurant. You think that was a good time,

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Speaker 1: thirty people in the audience. Whatever, I'm bragging right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm not story. I wish more kids had the opportunities

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Speaker 1: to do those things. You know, first of all, it's

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Speaker 1: it builds humility work ethic. But like the humility of

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Speaker 1: being in a nursing home because again, and shout outs

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Speaker 1: to all the nursing homes, because they give a lot

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Speaker 1: of performers a stage and a chance. You know, I

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Speaker 1: just need one more set of eyeballs and now I'm

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Speaker 1: a performer, you know, I just need and and building

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Speaker 1: that relationship and having you know, the sense of like, yo,

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Speaker 1: I gotta really changed this person's life. Now that could

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Speaker 1: be I could just bring him some joy for a

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Speaker 1: day or for a week, or I can inspire, you know,

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Speaker 1: it all varied. So I am so grateful for all

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Speaker 1: those all those moments. Vals has been such a fun

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Speaker 1: time learning about you. We actually have some questions from

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Speaker 1: listeners for you. Uh. So we're gonna take a quick

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Speaker 1: break and we'll come back with with some questions for

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Speaker 1: vow stick around. Uh. We're back with val uh and

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Speaker 1: we're gonna get to some some listener questions. But man,

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Speaker 1: I've been wondering about this because I know that you

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Speaker 1: and Max are fiercely competitive, but I also know that

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Speaker 1: you are two men of high standard. And so to

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Speaker 1: see your brother Umu and his wife raising their son,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, just to watch him as

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Speaker 1: a father, um uh and a husband. What is it

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Speaker 1: like for you to see this guy that you've always

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Speaker 1: looked up to in a way but always you know,

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Speaker 1: I got you among your heels, um, what is it

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Speaker 1: like to see him step into this new role? Um hm.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to use cliche words like I want

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Speaker 1: to give it a deeper I guess definition, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's incredible. That's the word. Uh. And now

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Speaker 1: what it is? What it is really like? Um, it's

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Speaker 1: a it's an incredible accomplishment, Like it's pride. You know.

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Speaker 1: I'm just proud of him, seeing him uh entering fatherhood

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Speaker 1: and and I think that's you know, he's been kind

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Speaker 1: of that for me throughout my life. Like you mentioned,

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Speaker 1: I looked up to him, but also he you know,

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Speaker 1: and I said this in my best man's speech at

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Speaker 1: his at his wedding. You know, it's um, it's hard

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Speaker 1: to to understand our relationship, but you know, I've always

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Speaker 1: enjoyed the wisdom of hindsight based on his you know,

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Speaker 1: as he pulled those through life, you know, mistakes and uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, this is one of those things. You know,

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Speaker 1: he's the first to be to be a father, and

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Speaker 1: I get to see him do amazing things and as

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Speaker 1: as a father and also make certain mistakes and you know,

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Speaker 1: yet again I get to benefit from from his rub drafts.

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Speaker 1: But it's been beautiful and I'm inspiring, motivating for me

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Speaker 1: to to realize, like damn, that there's a whole different

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Speaker 1: life after having a child, and I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: to to enjoy that part of my life. So you've

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Speaker 1: been married two years with Jenna? Now is that what

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Speaker 1: it is? A year? Officially? We had anniversary in April,

385
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 1: but yeah, okay, So how were are your thoughts on

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Speaker 1: I personally have four kids. I just had my fifteen

387
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Speaker 1: year anniversary. I could sell a couple of days ago,

388
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 1: but it defeated. Yeah. What you what you can't listeners

389
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: can't see, is that you say that while you're holding

390
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Speaker 1: your head. Kid's fifteen years. Yeah, it's been a journey,

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Speaker 1: but it's it's awesome. I'll say that. Um so where

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Speaker 1: are you? Where are you in thoughts with that? You're

393
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Speaker 1: gonna have you thinking about kids? And I know people

394
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Speaker 1: always say you've been married a year and they're like,

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Speaker 1: when are the kids? And that's always frustrating, but just

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Speaker 1: you know, what do you think? Yeah, like yesterday, but

397
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Speaker 1: you know we're in a right uh and are you

398
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Speaker 1: making announcement? Are you making an announce No? No, no, no, no, no,

399
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Speaker 1: no everywhere exactly, Well, they say, right, and maybe me

400
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Speaker 1: sure you could attest to that, like there's never a

401
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Speaker 1: perfect time to have a child, right, Yeah, it's never

402
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Speaker 1: like a perfect plan. And both you know, my wife

403
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Speaker 1: and I were like not control freaks, but we we

404
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: need a plan, we you know. So this time right

405
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Speaker 1: now is like really squeezing my anxiety gland like to

406
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Speaker 1: the max, you know. So I'm not really comfortable with uncertainty.

407
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Speaker 1: So I'm trying to embrace that. But in terms of

408
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Speaker 1: starting a family, we we want to do with asa. Yeah,

409
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Speaker 1: we want to do it right now. The time is right.

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Speaker 1: I cannot wait to be a father, she cannot wait

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Speaker 1: to be a mother. We cannot wait to continue you know,

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Speaker 1: build our family. Um, and don't let I don't let

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Speaker 1: my head holding discourage you. Right, being a father is

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Speaker 1: for sure. I mean obviously have four. It's not like

415
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Speaker 1: it's not something that that that that I didn't like.

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Speaker 1: I love it. You know you have you don't have

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Speaker 1: four kids by accident. So that's what I was about

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Speaker 1: to say. You not. You talked about You talked about though,

419
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Speaker 1: being two people who need a plan. As competitive dancers,

420
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: as professional dancers, you you live for the routine and

421
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: then you make it your own. Yeah. What is it

422
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: like when you see her dancing with other people? When

423
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Speaker 1: she sees you dancing with other people, and you know,

424
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 1: you gotta get sometimes you gotta get the chemistry going,

425
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? What is it like when

426
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: you im mentioned it's like actors who watched their their

427
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 1: their partners, Yeah, on screen, But what is it like

428
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: for you? It again, you you evolved as a human

429
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: and so your emotions to certain things and certain triggers,

430
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 1: you know, they become a little bit more mature. Uh,

431
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: it wasn't good. Now it's better, you know, like you know,

432
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,119
Speaker 1: it's it's not a good feeling, you know, but but

433
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: you look it's a great feeling to see your wife

434
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 1: succeed and and be celebrated and all of that. You know,

435
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: when she won with Adam Ripon, I was all day,

436
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: all day, every day, right, Um. But but this, you know,

437
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 1: I've never really shared this, but there was a performance

438
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: she had on a different show, uh, and it went viral.

439
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: It was it was like, so, I mean, there was

440
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 1: so much chemistry moved like one person. Oh, there was

441
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 1: so much chemistry. And the dude was a man. You know,

442
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 1: he was a man. Not not that Adam Ripon wasn't

443
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 1: a man, but this dude was masculinity to the core.

444
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 1: And she, you know, my wife is like one of

445
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 1: the best, if not the best dancers in the world,

446
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: and she was all a woman and together they created something.

447
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: I was like, that's fired. The world reacted, and uh, yeah,

448
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: I felt some type of way, but I didn't let

449
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: that jealous whatever, you know, in the sense that I

450
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: you know, and it wasn't the physicality as much as

451
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 1: like I want to be I want to I want

452
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: to make my girl laugh the hardest, you know, I

453
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 1: want to make her look the sexiest. I want to

454
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 1: be the reason why she's you know, appealing to the

455
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: world is one of the like I want to be

456
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: the the support system that makes her shine the brightest, right. Uh.

457
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: And then at that moment, though, I was like, it's

458
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,640
Speaker 1: not about you and what you want, you know, it's

459
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,360
Speaker 1: about her and celebrating her. How did you and did

460
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: you come to articulate that? Like did you did you

461
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 1: did you come to her with the jealousy or did

462
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: you come to her with the yeah you you you

463
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: got that, you got that off, Yeah that you did that,

464
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 1: you did that? No, first of all for its all celebration.

465
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: I mean I was so happy for her. Um then

466
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: when the time was right, you know, like I said

467
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:28,439
Speaker 1: that that's the timing is very important, and being authentic

468
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: and honest is really important. And like that was a

469
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: vulnerable moment for dude, that had you know, I'm getting

470
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: my shine too. That's the thing. It was, like, I

471
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: guess I confronted my feeling with with this like sense

472
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 1: of you're such a hypocrite, bro, you are literally you know.

473
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 1: For years, my thing was and I still preach it

474
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: is that chemistry on the dance floor, you know, And

475
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: it's it's you know, chemistry isn't just defined by sexual

476
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: tension towards each other. It's that confaratie. It's that you know,

477
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: like Pippen and Jordan had chemistry, you know, and if

478
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: they didn't, I was just gonna sit. I was just

479
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 1: gonna say you, you know, you in order to be

480
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: a good team, you have to get along. You don't

481
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 1: want a team, and Pippo and Jordan didn't get along,

482
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 1: then that team is not as good. So you can't

483
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 1: be jealous that they have a friendship the same way you.

484
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 1: Obviously you look at something, but I think it probably

485
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong. It probably helps that you

486
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: also are a dancer, so you understand that chemistry with

487
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: a partner. Yes, yes, And that's why I had to

488
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: confront my emotion and with with many different angles, and

489
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 1: one of them was that you know, hypocrisy of like, well,

490
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: you you build and you want that same support from

491
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: her in return, so why would you you know? And

492
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: so and and then ultimately there was a conversation. I

493
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: think that's the healing processes, like that conversation and me

494
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: being vulnerable enough to like put my ego to the

495
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: side of someone that I don't care and tell her like, yo,

496
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: I care, you know, I saw you and I maybe

497
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: maybe for the first time really saw you, you know,

498
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: because of that su I mean this was a long

499
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: long time ago. Um and uh, yeah, I don't know.

500
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: That was like so so it's a great question. Um

501
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: and and it goes vice versa, you know, and we

502
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 1: have to have you know, I think again, what you're

503
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: afraid of? The things you don't know? Right as back

504
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 1: to the current situation with Corona and the world, it's

505
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: like uncertainties what trigger so much anxiety and stress and

506
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: jealousy and this and that or whatever. The second you

507
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: have dialogue and you you have some clarity, I mean,

508
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: all of those things kind of subside a little bit.

509
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: And so that's what happened, you know, anytime those things

510
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: flare up, which they do naturally because we're human, we're passionate.

511
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: I think the quicker you, um, the quicker you attack

512
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 1: that in a conversation and just say, hey, you know,

513
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: this is how I feel. Uh And I'm like, you know,

514
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: I hear you. How can I make you feel better?

515
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: You know? How can we solve that without COMPROMI Rising

516
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: necessarily a really great thing because at the end of

517
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 1: the day, we're performers. Were artists and you know, that's

518
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:11,239
Speaker 1: a relationship that we individually have built without you know

519
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: that have nothing to do with it. So let's respect

520
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: that relationship that we have. It's something that we invest

521
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: in our entire life doing. It's it's it's important though,

522
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 1: I think also to note to write that that kind

523
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: of conversation requires two people who are willing to be responsible, right,

524
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: two people willing to show up to a conversation and

525
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: being responsible and allowing someone to show up, maybe imperfectly,

526
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 1: giving them the grace to show up in perfectly, just

527
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: so they can communicate themselves and then work from that

528
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 1: point to build even stronger, stronger, right, Yeah, I mean

529
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: communication is key, I think in every every aspect of life. Um.

530
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: Then the other thing is again boom. Dancing has served

531
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: me well because I was a teammate with a female

532
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: since I was a kid. You know, like I said,

533
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: I love sports. I didn't see Michael Jackson and was like,

534
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: I want to dance. I saw Michael Joe. I told

535
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: you I saw Michael Jordan wanted to play ball. Uh

536
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: you know which is that he is in literally a

537
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 1: bull's jersey. This is this is rob but he's got Rodman,

538
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 1: it's amazing, uh and and so. But but that camaraderie

539
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 1: is what I love about ball in sports in general,

540
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 1: is building a team with fellow humans and inspired that

541
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: I'm I'm that dude. I'm on the court like, come on, man,

542
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 1: let's go. You can you know take that? You know,

543
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm like the motivator, preaching type of dude on the court.

544
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: Super annoying. I try to balance that out. Uh. But

545
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: when it comes to competitive ballroom dance, that that that

546
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: was my approach, Like I was in competitive ballroom dance,

547
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: which is very different than just approach dance as this

548
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: art form. For me, it was a sport and winning

549
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: a world title was was was an athletic feat, not

550
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 1: an artistic accomplishment, you know. And it was an athletic

551
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: feat that I accomplished with my female partner, with my

552
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: female teammate, you know. So I had to learn how

553
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: to work and celebrate and get through the feet together

554
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: with a young girl, a young female, a young woman,

555
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: then a woman. You know. I stopped competing at twenty

556
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 1: five when I joined Dancing with the Stars and and

557
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: continue to compete with females but in a different format.

558
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 1: But before that, it was you know, it was Pipping

559
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: and Robin, I mean Tipping and rob. Uh. Yeah, the

560
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: twoth comes out now we really yeah, yeah, okay, you're

561
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: not you're not a Jordan fan at all. Uh Last

562
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: Dance the documentary was probably crazy, you know, one of

563
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 1: the few things that had gifted us, gifted the world

564
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 1: and I appreciate that. So Jordan's and and the thing

565
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: is watching that documentary, um, you know, humanize them even

566
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: more of a word. But like it showed his flaws

567
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: because we never had you know, there was no social media,

568
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 1: so we didn't have access to such you know, his

569
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 1: thought process of or you know, but the fact that

570
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 1: he was a flawed man made now and all his

571
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 1: comma even like being hundred even greater, absolutely because it's

572
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: not real. Yeah. Yeah. Should we get to some should

573
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: we get some of the listener questions, some of the

574
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: fan questions, you know, all right, so some listen you

575
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: are sending some questions for you val We're gonna start

576
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: with this one from Ape Fisher. What's the hardest part

577
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 1: about being a male dancer? How do you deal with stereotypes?

578
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: How do you deal with jealousy, how do you deal

579
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: with boners? Etcetera. Oh God, that's uh, you broke the

580
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 1: ice to that last one. You said the hard I

581
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 1: wonder if that was in the question or of Eastern

582
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: just throw in the boner party. I mean, I've always

583
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 1: wanted to know. Um, that's there's so many puns. I

584
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: was gonna say, that's not the hardest part at all,

585
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 1: but m mm hmmm, I mean there was there's like

586
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 1: an evolution of it, you know. Yeah, it was hard

587
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 1: in like middle school, high school. Um, I took about

588
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 1: you know, I've earned those friends before I exposed that

589
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,800
Speaker 1: I was a dancer. You know, I didn't champion like, hey,

590
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: I'm a world champion dancer. I think that's why there

591
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 1: was humility to that success as well, because I didn't

592
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: really you know, I wasn't the starting quarterback of of

593
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: you know, my high school football team where I really

594
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: had all this social currency, like my success as a

595
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 1: born dancer I enjoyed overseas like that's the thing, this

596
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: is huge in Europe. And even being he broke here,

597
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: I still you know, I had the parents that that

598
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: got some money for me to be able to fly

599
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: out to Germany and competed a world title and there

600
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: I was a rock star, was a superstar, you know.

601
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 1: Um so, so it was good. It was a great balance.

602
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 1: But yeah, high school, middle school, but you get picked on.

603
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: Did you get picked on or bullied at all for

604
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 1: for dancing? Yeah, yeah, of course. But I think but

605
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: once you don't know about Val is that he's also

606
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: a scrapper. He's backing against the wall. Homeboy can hold

607
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: his own, you know what I'm saying. Well, you know,

608
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: as I said, you were probably so psyched when that

609
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:43,240
Speaker 1: whole dance battle thing came out and like fighting became

610
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 1: like the dance off. That was like, so the thing

611
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: is again that's that's a genre of dance. I wasn't

612
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: a part of either. Like I wish I was a

613
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 1: hip hop dancer growing up. I wish I loved the

614
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,959
Speaker 1: musical aspect that I was really kind of was great

615
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 1: at that. But if you could imagine a scene at

616
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 1: the dance, you know, you had people moving and again

617
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 1: in middle school, being parked up against the wall and

618
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 1: just just being grinded like that. I don't know, I

619
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 1: feel like we're relatively the same age, but like that

620
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: was dance. Yeah, I just appreciated against the wall and

621
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:23,359
Speaker 1: for some force for you know, that was definitely an

622
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 1: element of dance, right, sweating on the dance wool I

623
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 1: tell you what, well, yes see, yeah, for some exactly.

624
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: And I was like, um, you know, without a partner,

625
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 1: I'm like what do I do with my hands? You know?

626
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 1: And so um, the coolest thing was being able to

627
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 1: like take a girl even though she doesn't know how

628
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 1: to dance, like dip her, turn her, you know, and

629
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden like damn, I want to

630
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: learn how to do that. I don't care about you know,

631
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 1: backflip or you know, learn how to break dance like that.

632
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: And that's why I didn't never understood the bullying, you know,

633
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 1: because obviously my my sexuality was being bullied mostly right,

634
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: It's like you're soft, you're this, you're that. Um, I'm like,

635
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 1: how is this? How is this me embracing a female

636
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: and and and you know, having posture and having like

637
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: a beautiful relationship, and like how is that? It didn't

638
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: make it didn't make any sense. How that is less

639
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 1: manly then, you know, snapping a leather ball out of

640
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: another man's butt, you know, every every thirty seconds, and

641
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 1: I don't want it to another in a jockstrap, Like

642
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 1: I didn't understand that so anyway, but it's what you

643
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 1: said before. It's it's the fear of not knowing stuff.

644
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,240
Speaker 1: It's the fear of not being able to do stuff.

645
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: So it's the people that didn't have that. It's almost

646
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: like a jealousy. So it's like I gotta pick on

647
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 1: that because I can't do it. And frankly, if you

648
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:00,720
Speaker 1: look at it, it is such a such a hot

649
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 1: and romantic thing with a man and a woman when

650
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 1: they're dancing like that. So to have a guy that

651
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 1: can't do it, I mean I didn't. I certainly wasn't

652
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: the type of guy that picked on anybody when I

653
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: was like, I didn't follow you or anything like that,

654
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 1: but I didn't know. I'm not. I wasn't a good dancer.

655
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: Like I worked up all the effort to ask a

656
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: girl to dance and then I realized that, shut, I

657
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: don't know, how what do we do next? Right? What

658
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 1: happens now? Um? Yeah, it's uh. Dance had served me

659
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:29,320
Speaker 1: very well, Like I said, you know, life is in stages,

660
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 1: and that's what I said. I posted a picture yesterday

661
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,919
Speaker 1: and Instagram with me like a fifteen with just fro

662
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 1: and acne. And then it was like a side by

663
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: side with me recently, and it's like if you're going

664
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: through it, like like life, life gets better, you know,

665
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 1: like your skin changes your your and same thing with

666
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: with the with your interests. You know, I'm really lucky

667
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: that I had enough uh positive reinforcement in my home.

668
00:38:55,520 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: You know, at those international competitions that I didn't really like,

669
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: it didn't consume me. The bullying in in in the school.

670
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 1: You know a lot of people like school is their life,

671
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,320
Speaker 1: their social circle there. Like I just went to school

672
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: and I lived outside of it. You know, I didn't

673
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: consume me. I had other after school activities that exposed

674
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: me to different worlds, uh, that embraced those differences. And then,

675
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,800
Speaker 1: like I said, I'm really grateful I didn't quit because

676
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 1: now as an adult, I get to enjoy it's a

677
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 1: skill set that's very specific and very unique and then

678
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 1: really refined and like it serves me now. Those tools

679
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 1: serve me in such a great way now, uh that

680
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: I unfortunately wouldn't have had if I would have given up.

681
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that what you just said

682
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:50,800
Speaker 1: about the support sism, I think so much comes from

683
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: from the support of a strong family and from the home.

684
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 1: And I was the last of five kids, and then

685
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 1: as I mentioned, I had four kids, and I think

686
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 1: my family is so close and I don't think I do.

687
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: I don't think I do nearly as much as I've

688
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 1: done or become who I am, or have the confidence

689
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 1: that I have if not for the support from from

690
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: my parents, from my siblings, and from my family. And

691
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 1: I think I think that's pretty cool that that you're

692
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 1: admitting that. I think it's very inspirational too, because I

693
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: think a lot of people need to know, like with

694
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: my kids, listen, it's not about them doing what you

695
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 1: want them to do, and it's not about them, it's

696
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: about you know, understanding, like if if one of my

697
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,800
Speaker 1: kids asked me to do something, to go play something,

698
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: or it's not whether I want to do it or not,

699
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 1: it's I want them to know that that's okay to

700
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: do and then and to experience that with them. And

701
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 1: I think that's huge for kids nowadays. Yeah, it's uh,

702
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 1: I was raised and again my my father still you

703
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 1: look like my dad, no offense. I mean, wait, five

704
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: minutes ago you said, well, my head is going back

705
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: in my hand anyway, my uh, my dad again, he's

706
00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: he's a he's a man man, you know, uh, never dance,

707
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 1: never this, never that. But yeah, he just raised us

708
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 1: with the philosophy of like, it doesn't it doesn't matter

709
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: what you do. Whatever you do, you gotta do it.

710
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 1: You gotta stride for greatness. You know, just as long

711
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 1: as you try your best and stride for greatness and

712
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 1: put in the work, you could be You know, if

713
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 1: you're gonna take out the trash, you better be the

714
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 1: best senor, you know, sanitary worker on the planet. Like,

715
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: if you're gonna host the party, you better be the

716
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: best host in the world. If you're gonna dance, you

717
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 1: better you better dance. You know, you better put in

718
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 1: the work. Come on, Martin Luther King, Come on, Martin

719
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,879
Speaker 1: Luther Wait, but you didn't. I want to come back

720
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: to one of the questions that was opposed by one

721
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: of the listeners. You have had some of the most

722
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 1: attractive partners. You dance in one of the most sensual

723
00:41:55,320 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 1: positions and forms of dance that exists. What do you

724
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 1: do when you're dancing? And it becomes all too real?

725
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:20,839
Speaker 1: He imagines Tom bergeron in his underwear. Guy, uh, have

726
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 1: you been in that situation? I have never been in

727
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 1: that situation. Wow, yeah, just you know, it's yeah, I

728
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 1: don't know, it's um. I mean maybe I have, I

729
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 1: don't I don't recall. Maybe when I was like fifteen,

730
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 1: I have a situation, but you can't control exactly as

731
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 1: an adult. I have never had that situation. That is

732
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 1: not a you know, it's not an issue for me

733
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 1: at all, um because, like I said, the sexuality is

734
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,800
Speaker 1: is is a byproduct of the commitment. You know, what

735
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: makes me sexy, what makes my product appealing, what makes

736
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: that chemistry is this undivided focus and um and commitment

737
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: to this other person, to their physicality, to their essence,

738
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 1: to their everything. It isn't like, you know, it's not

739
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: like we come into all man and I'm like looking

740
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 1: at her as the sexual thing. No, it's I'm looking

741
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:28,320
Speaker 1: you know, I'm looking at her as an incredible athlete, woman, artists,

742
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 1: and I am just grateful to be able to enjoy

743
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: movement with this person. I'm not looking. It doesn't matter

744
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 1: who you are. Even when I dance with my wife, yes,

745
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,839
Speaker 1: I have uh, you know, love for her and an

746
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 1: intimacy for her in our performances. But like I said,

747
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:50,359
Speaker 1: it's not a you know, sensuality is very different from sexuality, right,

748
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: So I'm not like, oh man, I got hard just thinking. No,

749
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 1: it's like it's just that's not where, That's not the

750
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: wavelength that I you know, that that that ad oppers

751
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 1: rate song at all. Right, Hey, we have time for

752
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 1: let's do one more email. This is someone looking for

753
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 1: some advice from you guys. Uh. This is from Annie.

754
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: She says. My husband and I have been together for

755
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: almost twenty three years. Connection and sex were okay up

756
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: until the end of last year. I felt depressed, stressed,

757
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 1: and unappreciated. We were both unhappy with our relationship, with

758
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 1: no love or appreciation for one another, so we decided

759
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:26,439
Speaker 1: to have weekly discussions to check in with each other.

760
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 1: It was good for about a week until I discovered

761
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 1: he was flirting with a coworker via text. I confronted

762
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 1: him and he admitted to it, and he assured me

763
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 1: it was done. So we moved on. But things still

764
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 1: feel the same. Why is he being stagnant? How can

765
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: I help him with this transition period without driving him away? Damn?

766
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 1: And that was pre quarantine, right, I mean, I want

767
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 1: to tread tread advice carefully. Yeah, I'll follow you lead

768
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 1: on that. I mean, I think that the thing is,

769
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 1: it's I I question they're having their weekly conversations, but

770
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 1: I wonder what what they're talking about. I think obviously

771
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: communication is huge in a relationship, and I think it's

772
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 1: nice that they're checking in with each other. But they

773
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 1: called it a check in, and so that to me

774
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 1: means I don't know if they're if they're talking about

775
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 1: their feelings or if they're just say, hey, are you okay?

776
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 1: Are you? I think it comes down to what they're

777
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: what they're talking about, like when you go to a therapist,

778
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 1: and sometimes you know what, there's nothing wrong with therapy,

779
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: so maybe they need somebody to help moderate that conversation,

780
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 1: you know. So uh, maybe it's maybe it's a matter

781
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 1: of what they're talking about. And because we can have

782
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 1: check in with somebody and it's very if it's very

783
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: surface level, then you're not getting to what you're actually feeling.

784
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 1: So I think part of that is probably what their communication.

785
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: Yeah right, but us us like, so you step up

786
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 1: the communication. It sounds like they from from based on

787
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: the the just a note, you know, um, trying not

788
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 1: to make too many assumptions about where relationship is or

789
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 1: what's happening or not happening there, but right, so you

790
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 1: step up the communication, Like you said, the communication is

791
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 1: about like checking in, like what's not right? Perhaps is

792
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 1: the is the assumption is like, let's talk about what's

793
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,920
Speaker 1: not right in our relationship without the focus on what

794
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 1: still does work right? And it doesn't have to be

795
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 1: necessarily the sexual part of their relationship or you know,

796
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 1: but maybe their partnership and living together. What parts of

797
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 1: that do work? Um? How are we amping that up?

798
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 1: How are we highlighting that? Um? And then also like

799
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: instead of her, it seems to me she's focusing a

800
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 1: lot on how to fix him, how to make him better,

801
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 1: how to get him to a place where he feels better.

802
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: There's two people in a relationship. And if we are

803
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: are unhappy, you are, I think you at some point

804
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 1: you also have to look at like why am I unhappy?

805
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: Or am I unhappy? Um? And is am I bringing

806
00:46:56,160 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 1: my best self to our relationship? Before the check in?

807
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:04,839
Speaker 1: That's true and it's you have to be you have

808
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:06,799
Speaker 1: to be happy in order and be, like you said,

809
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: be your best self in order for you know, you

810
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: can't just be like, I gotta fix this person. And

811
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:13,439
Speaker 1: if it's not working, if if that's not making you happy,

812
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: if you're not in a good place, then that you're

813
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: never gonna get to that place where you're genuinely yeah. Yeah,

814
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 1: it's most of the issues them from my I mean,

815
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,399
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna speak on my own behalf, like from

816
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 1: my own insecurities, you know, And I'm like, thanks that

817
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 1: in me somehow help you know there, yeah, you out

818
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: there or you might you know, my wife, fix me please,

819
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 1: because I'm not happy with myself. Uh, when I'm when

820
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:46,839
Speaker 1: when I'm happy with myself, I cannot wait to love

821
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: the world like I will love my wife, I would

822
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 1: love my friends, I would love you know. I'm just

823
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: glowing because I'm you know, I'm I'm fulfilled, I'm satisfied,

824
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: and I'm loving myself in a way right now. Let

825
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,719
Speaker 1: me ask you this about is there ever a time

826
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:06,320
Speaker 1: in dancing where you're working with your partner, you're rehearsing

827
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 1: and you're just not getting It's just you're just not

828
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 1: getting something down correctly. Is there ever a time where

829
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 1: it's like okay, rather than keep repeating it and trying

830
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 1: to get that moved down. Do you ever step back

831
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 1: and take a different approach, maybe talk about something else,

832
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 1: take your mind off. And so it's not it's not

833
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 1: different than a relationship. When something is not working, don't

834
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: just keep jamming at the problem and like we gotta

835
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 1: fix this, we gotta fix this. You step back and

836
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,399
Speaker 1: sometimes let all the others. Maybe there's another stress that's

837
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 1: stopping you from from doing this. So I think in

838
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: a relationship is the same thing. Stop focusing on the well,

839
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 1: we're not having sex. We're not having sex, but maybe

840
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,879
Speaker 1: there's a reason. Maybe, as you said, Scott, maybe I'm

841
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,359
Speaker 1: unhappy and maybe if we can kind of talk through

842
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 1: and work other things, then all this other stuff will

843
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: fall into place. It's not always the obvious thing. It's

844
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 1: it's not always the glaring problem that's the real issue.

845
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: And as like the single dude here right, um uh,

846
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 1: having some real reservations about getting into a relationship until

847
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 1: I feel whole myself, right like, until I feel like

848
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 1: I am holy and completely myself as much as I

849
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 1: can get myself to be before stepping into a relationship

850
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 1: with someone expecting them to complete me, expecting them to

851
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 1: finish me, expecting them to make me better. I think

852
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 1: one of them the things I try to focus on

853
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 1: in a relationship or when I'm entering a relationship is

854
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 1: what can I offer right, not like what can you

855
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: do for me? Right? And I've noticed that even in interviews,

856
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:40,839
Speaker 1: even in friendships and relationships, I've noticed that if you

857
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: can take the approach of how can I be of service?

858
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,439
Speaker 1: How can I how can I what do I bring

859
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 1: to this table um can sometimes shift the energy enough,

860
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:58,040
Speaker 1: like you said, to kind of shake some other things free. Right.

861
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 1: I agree for a hundred said, but I want to

862
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 1: go back to something you said. You said you gotta

863
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 1: find as a single person, I gotta get myself in

864
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 1: the in the best possible place to then get in

865
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 1: a relationship. And I don't think that's a hundred percent true,

866
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 1: never as funny as soon as it's the same thing

867
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 1: as we were talking about having kids, like you're never

868
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 1: going to be in a hundred not everything is going

869
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,760
Speaker 1: to come together and be like, oh, I'm a hundred

870
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:26,719
Speaker 1: percent ready to have kids. I'm a hundred percent ready

871
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:30,359
Speaker 1: to be because that relationship is going to as you said,

872
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 1: you give something and they give something and may complete you.

873
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 1: That relationship is going to continue your growth as to

874
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: who you are. You're never it's not like you're like

875
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: you're buying a house and you're like, I'm financially I'm

876
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 1: set and now i can have a house and i

877
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 1: can live in. That's not what a relationship is, and

878
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 1: that's not what having kids is. So you're never going

879
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 1: to be ready because that because you can't be a

880
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 1: hundred percent ready for whoever somebody is that you don't know,

881
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,399
Speaker 1: because that's about the messagement you, guys. And as far

882
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 1: as a kid, you're never You're never gonna be like

883
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: a hundred percent. Like I'll say this, when we had

884
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 1: our first child, my daughter, she was she it was

885
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 1: almost as if she knew that we were first time parents,

886
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 1: and she really helped us. She really helped us ease

887
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:12,879
Speaker 1: into the whole thing because we we were never going

888
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 1: to be fully prepared. It doesn't matter how many nieces

889
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 1: and nephews you have, You're never fully prepared until you

890
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 1: have that kid. And so to to Scott's point, what

891
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 1: I'm saying to that is the same thing with a relationship.

892
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: You will never be like, Okay, now I'm ready for

893
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:27,799
Speaker 1: a relationship. You will never be ready for that, for

894
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: that relationship until you're in it. True. Well, it's also

895
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:36,799
Speaker 1: being open to use the word mesh like and I am.

896
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:38,799
Speaker 1: You know, It's it's like dogs, you know, they start

897
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 1: looking like the owner after a while. Your your reflection

898
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 1: of the first of all the people that you can

899
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 1: surround yourself with, and also obviously your partner because as

900
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 1: the person you you spend the most time with your

901
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 1: your your wife, your significant other. Uh. And so yeah,

902
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:59,440
Speaker 1: I mean you have to there are things that I

903
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 1: love myself that I don't want to compromise. But at

904
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 1: the same time, like I am open to to to

905
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:10,279
Speaker 1: you know, I'm elastic to changing with this person. I

906
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:13,359
Speaker 1: want to you know, the reason why I love her

907
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 1: is because that somebody I don't mind remixing my personality with,

908
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 1: you know, like her and I are shaping each other together. Uh.

909
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 1: And again, maybe you know, I'm also evolving. I don't

910
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 1: I don't know everything. Um. And I find myself now

911
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: actually starting to draw some boundaries and and and we're

912
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 1: having that conversation of like, you know, like this is

913
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: the part of me that I don't want to you know,

914
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 1: compromise or just like this is something that I would

915
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 1: love for you to just understand and accept and same

916
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: thing you know about her. But for the most part,

917
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 1: that common ground it's it's always evolving. It's I do

918
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 1: want to clarify because when I don't necessarily mean UM,

919
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 1: but I also feel like the advice, the wisdom in

920
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: both of your reactions to that is UM super worthwhile, right,

921
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 1: Like there's value and understanding that UM, being open to

922
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 1: life as it unfolds to you and growing with a

923
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 1: person because that's the point of the relationship, right, that's

924
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:24,720
Speaker 1: the point of UM. Advancing through life with a partner

925
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 1: is to become better together. Right, I'm just saying, and

926
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,120
Speaker 1: I understand that. I'm just saying. I feel like in

927
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 1: so many instances my peers, people feel like, by this age,

928
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,720
Speaker 1: I gotta do this thing. So they enter these relate

929
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:48,799
Speaker 1: into relationships with milestones as opposed to UM, um who

930
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 1: they really are, right and so and so they enter

931
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:55,919
Speaker 1: relationships with people who are undeveloped as they are undeveloped

932
00:53:56,400 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 1: and have no capability of like building anything together, and

933
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 1: so they just argue and they just fight and then

934
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:07,760
Speaker 1: they break up. Right. So, just trying to develop myself

935
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 1: in the best way, Um, I know how so that

936
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 1: when my partner does show up in my life and

937
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:16,759
Speaker 1: I do feel like you do know in a lot

938
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,319
Speaker 1: of ways, in a lot of instances, you do know

939
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: this is I think this is gonna be my person,

940
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, I think that's true. And I

941
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 1: and I agree with that. There's no there's no those

942
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,360
Speaker 1: age guidelines. I should be buried by this time, I

943
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,840
Speaker 1: should be in a relationship, I should have kids, But

944
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 1: none of that matters because there's no everybody's different and

945
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: every chemistry in a relationship is different. Everyone's life is different,

946
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 1: andyone's background is different. So it depends on when it's

947
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: right for you, and when it's right, it happens. And

948
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 1: like you said, then you you kind of know, you know, hey,

949
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 1: this is the person I want to be with. Hey,

950
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,759
Speaker 1: this is I want to be a dad, you know,

951
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:56,439
Speaker 1: and that type of stuff just clicks. But to make

952
00:54:56,440 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 1: decisions based on ages so are very it's just yeah.

953
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 1: And then also like uh, just expectation wise, like it's

954
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 1: not Kumbaya forever after like that you're gonna have chemistry

955
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 1: and fall in love and then let's it. That's the

956
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,399
Speaker 1: right person. Even with the right person there will be

957
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 1: uncertain times and some times of you know, going back

958
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 1: and forth, and it's not gonna be perfect. It's just

959
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 1: a matter of finding somebody you're willing to work with

960
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 1: and and and build with. When did you know that Jenna,

961
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:32,840
Speaker 1: for you vow was the one that you wanted that

962
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 1: When did she show up in your life? And you

963
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 1: were like, yep, uh, probably as she said, not when

964
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 1: how how did she show up in your life? Like, well,

965
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 1: she showed up in my life. I had sexual chemistry

966
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:55,480
Speaker 1: with her, you know, the physical chemistry. Uh. Then we

967
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 1: worked a lot together. You know, she before becoming a

968
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 1: pro on the show. She she assisted me on almost

969
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 1: all the choreography that I've done on that show when

970
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 1: she joined the show. So and in that process. Again,

971
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 1: maybe it's because my relationship with dance, Maybe it was

972
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 1: relationship with how important that situation was her being a

973
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,760
Speaker 1: companion for me and a support system and my partner

974
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:24,399
Speaker 1: beyond again our intimacy, uh man, My gratitude for her

975
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 1: was huge, right, So I was like so grateful to

976
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 1: her and how unconditionally she she was willing to help

977
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 1: me anytime. Um, but I had no real Again, it's

978
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 1: it's kind of it will kind of prove your point

979
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 1: a little bit. I decided when I decided for myself,

980
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,759
Speaker 1: like I wanted to do this. This feels like it's

981
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 1: something that I wanna, you know, I want to build.

982
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 1: I want to plan some seeds with someone, you know,

983
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 1: I want to I want to build something in, something relevant,

984
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,319
Speaker 1: something that would be here for a long time, rather

985
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:02,600
Speaker 1: than just you know, jumping around and like again, that

986
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 1: was a big thing for me because I a lot

987
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 1: of my a lot of my confidence came from the

988
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:15,320
Speaker 1: discovery of, you know, of other females. Like this doesn't

989
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:18,440
Speaker 1: mean that I was sleeping around all the time. It

990
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 1: wasn't even about sex. It was really about conversation and

991
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: discovery and that whole curiosity um a lot of my

992
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:30,439
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's maybe I wouldn't say I would

993
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 1: go as far as I had an issue, but like

994
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of my insecurities were healed

995
00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 1: or that it was like a little band aid placed

996
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 1: on some sort of insecurity that I would have with

997
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 1: that that those relationships, and after a while I was like,

998
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 1: this is just a this isn't sustainable and this isn't

999
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: something that I want to live with like, what am

1000
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,120
Speaker 1: I waiting for. I have someone in front of me

1001
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 1: that's you know, that that I truly love and that

1002
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 1: I see an incredible heart in and and just you

1003
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 1: know her values are similar and aligned with me. You

1004
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 1: know that I feel like this. You're not gonna You're

1005
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 1: not gonna find somebody that's perfectly compatible. But like, as

1006
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 1: long as you have like a core belief system that

1007
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 1: is somehow in aligned, then everything else can be you know,

1008
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 1: can be adjusted and it's and it's right, and it's

1009
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: it's what you said. You're like, oh, I was jumping around,

1010
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 1: it's not And then I thought, oh, this is it

1011
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 1: started to click in your head. This is kind of

1012
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: what I want to do now. I think I'm ready

1013
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 1: for a relationship because you met the person that all

1014
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 1: of a sudden you realize that this is, this is

1015
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 1: I want to explore more. This is bringing out something more,

1016
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 1: because if you were with the wrong person, it doesn't

1017
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:43,200
Speaker 1: matter what age you were, you weren't Like this is

1018
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 1: why I think I'm ready for this now, This this

1019
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: feels right because it wouldn't do right. Maybe you'd make

1020
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 1: a decision and you haven't obviously in the past. Maybe

1021
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 1: you'd make a decision and say, oh this, I should

1022
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: do this, but you would know that it's not right

1023
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,400
Speaker 1: and we gotta wrap in a second. But I want

1024
00:58:57,440 --> 00:59:00,360
Speaker 1: to say back to that other email, um, and because

1025
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 1: we're talking relationships and stuff, UM. Recently, like you know,

1026
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 1: fifteen years of marriage, four kids doesn't come It's not

1027
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 1: like every day is awesome and every days you know,

1028
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 1: there's no arguments. But I'll say recently, my wife and

1029
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 1: I were on a zoom call the school, like all

1030
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:18,880
Speaker 1: like hundreds of parents were on this thing and we're

1031
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 1: watching it, and the chat was coming up and some

1032
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 1: parents were asking some ridiculous questions and stuff, and I

1033
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 1: just kind of muted it. We were on mute anyway,

1034
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 1: and I turned and my wife and I started laughing.

1035
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 1: We started kind of joking about some of the comments

1036
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,439
Speaker 1: that were coming up and stuff, and we just sat

1037
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 1: and we started laughing, and it was like it was

1038
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 1: almost like we were on our first date again. It's

1039
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 1: like all the stress, and that's what I was saying about,

1040
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 1: sometimes you gotta step away all the stress of having

1041
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:47,919
Speaker 1: four kids and and both of us working and being

1042
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 1: home and quarantine and all this stuff. All that for

1043
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: like for five minutes, all that disappeared, and then it

1044
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 1: was like it was just this great moment. And so

1045
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,439
Speaker 1: I think sometimes in a relationship where one that one

1046
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 1: email twenty three years in all of a sudden, sometimes

1047
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 1: it's just about stepping back and finding finding that thing again.

1048
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 1: So it's like everything. It's like it's like everything in life.

1049
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 1: You know, the more time you commit to it, the

1050
01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 1: more effort, the more pride you will have in it.

1051
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:20,920
Speaker 1: And I think that was a moment I was like,

1052
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:23,360
Speaker 1: I'm not proud of any of this, you know, like

1053
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 1: none of none of this. Well, that's a that's a word,

1054
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 1: that's a whole I'm not that's a whole word. Like

1055
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Like I'm not proud of none of this.

1056
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 1: I want to build something I'm proud of. Yeah, and

1057
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 1: then that's it. Then, Jenna, exactly, and I'm so proud

1058
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 1: of That's again, it's not it's not easy. I think

1059
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: people should stop looking for shortcuts, you know, like embrace

1060
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:56,400
Speaker 1: that it's tough, and embrace the fact that there's gonna

1061
01:00:56,440 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 1: be more, you know, peaks and valleys, so to speak

1062
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:03,240
Speaker 1: right and of and and seek help as well. And

1063
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 1: guys like I am very open to therapy. I we

1064
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:11,240
Speaker 1: we haven't had any yet, uh, but um, you know,

1065
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 1: if we ever get to that point, I'm very open

1066
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 1: to to therapy and help because again, I'm very proud

1067
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: of us, and I want us to continue to build

1068
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:22,560
Speaker 1: something that you know, with time, I could look back

1069
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:25,680
Speaker 1: and be proud of. I feel like I feel like

1070
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 1: the three hopefully for the listeners too, I like the

1071
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 1: three of us have really helped each other, and I,

1072
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 1: for one, I look forward to hearing about Scott's relationship

1073
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:35,600
Speaker 1: and I look forward to vow. When you guys announced

1074
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 1: that you're having away and you're naming him Demitri after me,

1075
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:41,959
Speaker 1: this is really bad. This is really really nice scene

1076
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:45,560
Speaker 1: right now. By the way, I don't know if you're

1077
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:49,120
Speaker 1: still struggling with that, but Dmitri is a dope name.

1078
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,960
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. Yeah, yeah, demon, you

1079
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 1: know it's short demon in Russian. I don't know if

1080
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:58,080
Speaker 1: you have that same And yeah, I don't get. I

1081
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 1: don't get. I have friends that had that a game.

1082
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:02,360
Speaker 1: But so when you were telling all that story, like

1083
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 1: I grew up in New York parents Greek, and but

1084
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 1: I was just in the other I was in a story.

1085
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:16,280
Speaker 1: So we weren't I was about But before before we

1086
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:19,480
Speaker 1: go anything, you want to tell everybody the listeners have

1087
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,800
Speaker 1: any plugs, anything they want to, you know, where they

1088
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 1: can find you. You're certainly you know, you have an

1089
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,960
Speaker 1: inspirational story, and I think people might be interested in

1090
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 1: reaching out and hearing more. You have a Instagram or

1091
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 1: anything like that you want people to check out? Yeah,

1092
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 1: I have an Instagram Valentine at Valentine, no e, just Valentine. Um, yeah,

1093
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 1: I again, I you know, I have a lot of

1094
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:48,520
Speaker 1: things to plug. I don't. I don't really, you know,

1095
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 1: just go on my account you'll see stuff that I plugged.

1096
01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 1: But I'm very grateful to to to have the attention

1097
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 1: and the platform, and I just try to be as

1098
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:00,960
Speaker 1: productive with it as possible. You know, Fame without a

1099
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:04,680
Speaker 1: causes is a nuisance, you know to me? So um,

1100
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 1: you know, I just I want to I want to

1101
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 1: be able to serve the world as much as I

1102
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 1: can with this megaphone that I have at the moment.

1103
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know how much longer I'll have it,

1104
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 1: So that's it. I think you'll have it for a while.

1105
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 1: Family without causes a nuisance. I love that. That's fantastic. Hey,

1106
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,080
Speaker 1: are you gonna be in the fall? Dancing was starting

1107
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:27,160
Speaker 1: with the stars? Masks are no mask was the deal.

1108
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 1: I don't know those those details yet, those safety precautions,

1109
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:34,520
Speaker 1: I don't know yet. Who knows tomorrow they'll come out

1110
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:36,880
Speaker 1: with an article that masks are actually bad for you.

1111
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 1: So that's true hanging in as long as you don't,

1112
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:41,840
Speaker 1: as long as you don't go to the seventh grade,

1113
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 1: six ft apart dance room. For Jesus, even the spirit

1114
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 1: wear your masks, Guys, I don't. I don't want to.

1115
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to spread any misinformation. I'm

1116
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:59,200
Speaker 1: excited for the full I think the world needs a

1117
01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 1: little dancing with the stars, you know. And I I'm

1118
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 1: excited for the cast. I'm excited for again. I just

1119
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,280
Speaker 1: miss dance. I miss It's such a big part of

1120
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:11,480
Speaker 1: my life that uh, you know, it gave you so

1121
01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:15,280
Speaker 1: much purpose and so much joy, and you know, also

1122
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 1: it's kind of nurturing a little injury, and I'm not

1123
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 1: as active, and so yeah, it would be a lot,

1124
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:24,120
Speaker 1: you know. Back to that other conversation we had, Scott,

1125
01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:26,160
Speaker 1: It's it's not a pillar that you should lean on,

1126
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:28,880
Speaker 1: but it would be a lot harder without Jenna, without

1127
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:32,920
Speaker 1: my wife being here with me. And so it's special

1128
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:35,760
Speaker 1: shout out to people that are quarantine and in isolation

1129
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:39,040
Speaker 1: alone and and don't have people. So that's another place

1130
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: where my platform, uh, you know, I want to capitalize

1131
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:45,240
Speaker 1: on being a place where you could be part of

1132
01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:47,560
Speaker 1: a community that you know, so you feel less alone.

1133
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 1: I try to check in with people all the time

1134
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:52,919
Speaker 1: and again spread the good fortune that I'm I'm lucky

1135
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,680
Speaker 1: enough to have the only thing I don't want you

1136
01:04:55,720 --> 01:04:58,640
Speaker 1: to think about, um after this conversation while you're dancing

1137
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 1: or dancing with the stars, don't think, by any means

1138
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,520
Speaker 1: because of this conversation that people are gonna be looking

1139
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 1: to see if you get a bone or at any

1140
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:10,840
Speaker 1: point they say the demetri What you don't know is

1141
01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:17,400
Speaker 1: that their entire websites dedicated to the possibility and the

1142
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 1: judgment of But it's like it's incredible. But that's what

1143
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:26,120
Speaker 1: happens when you when you win the mirror ball more

1144
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:29,800
Speaker 1: than once, you know what I mean. It comes with

1145
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:33,560
Speaker 1: the territory. Scott, anything you'd like to say before we

1146
01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:35,720
Speaker 1: sign off, Well, I think first I just want to

1147
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:41,360
Speaker 1: thank you Dmitri and Um Brooks and the entire team

1148
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 1: here for creating this space where people can come or

1149
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 1: they can show up right um and offer a bit

1150
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:53,520
Speaker 1: of themselves and the hopes that it blesses some listeners

1151
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:57,720
Speaker 1: life um, but also that the conversations themselves can bless

1152
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:01,840
Speaker 1: the participants of the conversation. UM. It's a really every

1153
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:05,000
Speaker 1: time I've i've I've seen this thing, I've heard this thing,

1154
01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:07,240
Speaker 1: or been a part of this thing, it has been

1155
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:11,720
Speaker 1: UM affirming in a way of whether I learned something

1156
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:16,080
Speaker 1: new or I'm triggered and I gotta like check myself,

1157
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:21,000
Speaker 1: or um, I am able to help a friend through

1158
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:23,560
Speaker 1: something that they're dealing with, you know, as a result

1159
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 1: of listening to some of the wisdom that's that's shared here.

1160
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 1: And so I'm just I'm thankful that for men in particular,

1161
01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:38,400
Speaker 1: this space exists where real, um, beneficial conversation can be shared. UM,

1162
01:06:38,440 --> 01:06:41,240
Speaker 1: that is beyond some of the surface stuff we find

1163
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:44,520
Speaker 1: ourselves in so often because we're sometimes more comfortable there.

1164
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 1: So I just want to say thank you. UM. I

1165
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:49,560
Speaker 1: am Scott Evans on everything. So if you ever want

1166
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:50,920
Speaker 1: to check you out any of the stuff that I'm

1167
01:06:50,960 --> 01:06:54,440
Speaker 1: on Uh, don't hesitate. And you know, while you're waiting

1168
01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:56,520
Speaker 1: on Dance with the Stars to return, there is a

1169
01:06:56,600 --> 01:07:00,600
Speaker 1: dance show on NBC right now ten pm. It's called

1170
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:03,520
Speaker 1: World to check it out. Um, but you know Shame's

1171
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:09,920
Speaker 1: plug and every night on Access Hollywood. So but but

1172
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 1: in reality and in all seriousness, I value the way

1173
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 1: value show up to your life. I appreciate the way

1174
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 1: that you own not just your victories, um, but your

1175
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:27,240
Speaker 1: mistakes and how they don't how neither one of those things,

1176
01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:36,640
Speaker 1: in particular or singularly, um, uh, determine what your value is, right,

1177
01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:41,480
Speaker 1: It's the accumulation of all of them. I'm more proud

1178
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:45,840
Speaker 1: of my mistakes than than even some of my victories,

1179
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,960
Speaker 1: like like, like what I said about Jordan's and last dance. Again,

1180
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:54,480
Speaker 1: I'm not referencing basketball and time, but like, um, it

1181
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:57,560
Speaker 1: makes me more human, which makes all the pluses that

1182
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:01,480
Speaker 1: much more of an accomplishment. So I'm just as proud

1183
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:06,040
Speaker 1: of the mistakes that I made. I genuinely mean that, um,

1184
01:08:06,080 --> 01:08:08,280
Speaker 1: as much as I you know the times that I've

1185
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:11,400
Speaker 1: lost as much as I I have one so equally,

1186
01:08:11,400 --> 01:08:14,000
Speaker 1: but thank you, And I second with what you said

1187
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:17,680
Speaker 1: about the space it's it's dope to you know, to

1188
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:21,040
Speaker 1: be in an environment that isn't preaching but just sharing.

1189
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:22,920
Speaker 1: You learn a lot more from I mean, I think

1190
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:26,519
Speaker 1: people are much more receptive in that in that sphere.

1191
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 1: That's very nice that it's very kind of both you

1192
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:31,960
Speaker 1: and you know, a lot of people say it's nice

1193
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:33,920
Speaker 1: that we have this thing, but you know what, we

1194
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,360
Speaker 1: learn a lot as we're doing these two and they're

1195
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:39,599
Speaker 1: inspirational for us. And and you know, no one knows everything,

1196
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:42,200
Speaker 1: so it's nice. It's nice to have us for guys

1197
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:45,479
Speaker 1: to sit down and and put down the guards and

1198
01:08:45,720 --> 01:08:47,519
Speaker 1: you know, and have real conversation. So I'm glad that

1199
01:08:47,479 --> 01:08:49,280
Speaker 1: we're able to do it as well. And I thank

1200
01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:52,400
Speaker 1: you both for joining us. And this has been another

1201
01:08:52,439 --> 01:08:55,840
Speaker 1: episode of how men Think. I think Brooks will probably

1202
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:58,280
Speaker 1: say love one another, hug one another or something like that.

1203
01:08:58,280 --> 01:09:01,000
Speaker 1: I forget, forget it his favorite tagus. But thanks for

1204
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:02,360
Speaker 1: joining us, and we'll see you next time.