Speaker 1: This is How Men Think? And Gavin de grab and
Speaker 1: I heard radio podcast. Welcome to another episode of How
Speaker 1: Men Think. My name is brooks Like and I am
Speaker 1: joined by three gracious co hosts today, two men from
Speaker 1: the show and then one gracious co host who's actually
Speaker 1: probably got more co hosting abilities than probably anybody I know.
Speaker 1: Um what three co hosts today we have with us
Speaker 1: Rick and Dmitri, the men of How Men Think? Good sirs,
Speaker 1: how are you hello? Good good? How are you doing? That?
Speaker 1: Looks that looks like a wonderful painting that you have
Speaker 1: in the back there you've been just kind of throw
Speaker 1: it over my shoulder and what happened? One of those?
Speaker 1: Just all and then call it arts? Thank you? Um Dmitri,
Speaker 1: how are you doing? Brother? I'm doing well, thank you.
Speaker 1: I came down. I came down to the try to
Speaker 1: give it a little more of a manly field that
Speaker 1: I say. I got a work bench behind me, even
Speaker 1: brought out the drill. I see the drill. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: I rented all that for this. And then it has
Speaker 1: to go back in about an hour received and then
Speaker 1: we have a special guest with us today. He is
Speaker 1: I actually kind of want to learn from him from
Speaker 1: on how to co host a show? Um, if you
Speaker 1: have a television, you have seen this man all over
Speaker 1: it for sure an actor a host? Um man, I
Speaker 1: could I'm looking at your bio here we have Dan
Speaker 1: Cortes with us. Yeah, welcome. I don't have I don't
Speaker 1: have a work bench and Dmitri, how about if I
Speaker 1: just put the pencil behind my does that look like
Speaker 1: let's do like, let's do two to three quarters? That
Speaker 1: that works for me? Okay, And as far as anybody
Speaker 1: can tell from now, you have a tool belt on,
Speaker 1: we just do that's and that's all I'm wearing from
Speaker 1: the way. So it's just a tool belt. And I
Speaker 1: just don't have the accolades that you have in your
Speaker 1: background to sign jerseys, to sign football, I don't have
Speaker 1: that stuff. So I had to rent this. You know
Speaker 1: what's great is none of that's mine. It's everybody else's signature.
Speaker 1: It's not mine, So it's any words. Indeed, like I
Speaker 1: when you popped on there, I was just like, that's
Speaker 1: kind of what I want my home office to look like.
Speaker 1: There you like a book with my face on it?
Speaker 1: Like I see your book right there? Hey, I should
Speaker 1: have saved it that that's my new book. But when
Speaker 1: I initially started promoting the book, the publishers had kept
Speaker 1: telling me like you needed why don't you have the
Speaker 1: book and in the background of anything book because you
Speaker 1: haven't sent me any So I literally took my older
Speaker 1: son's NBA two K xbox game, printed out a piece
Speaker 1: of paper that had the book ever and taped it
Speaker 1: to it and would sit it back there and just
Speaker 1: tell Pep it was the book. Yeah, awesome. Well dude,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get more into that book. But Um, I
Speaker 1: want to get to your opinion. So Dan's coming on
Speaker 1: as a respected gentleman UM who has some insight for us.
Speaker 1: We had a Dan last week. We had a hot
Speaker 1: topic on the how men thinks showing and uh Dmitri
Speaker 1: and uh Rick weren't with us. Ryan was with us,
Speaker 1: but producer Tory, our lovely producer, Um opened up about
Speaker 1: her dating life and ask the question about should people
Speaker 1: hook up on the first date? Yeah, should they hook
Speaker 1: up on the first date? Is that frowned upon from
Speaker 1: a guy's standpoint if the woman does that? Or is
Speaker 1: it me you mean you're being a little churchgoer here?
Speaker 1: You mean hook up as in have sex, go all
Speaker 1: the way. Yeah, yeah, I guess I guess we should
Speaker 1: clarify what um so the hell men think community has
Speaker 1: just exploded. There's a wild debate going on right now.
Speaker 1: Some people say yes, some people say no. Some people say, um,
Speaker 1: they that yes, they absolutely judge somebody for going that
Speaker 1: far on the first date. But I want to get
Speaker 1: your guys opinions on this um As a gentleman going
Speaker 1: out on a date, first date with the lady, Dan
Speaker 1: will lead with you, what are you looking for on
Speaker 1: a first date? And would you even pursue? Be honest? Brother,
Speaker 1: be honest with you, would you even pursue physical conto
Speaker 1: physical intimacy on the first date? Okay, being honest. If
Speaker 1: you're a guy and you're attracted to someone, obviously that
Speaker 1: is in your mind somewhere. It's it's not like you go, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm really attracted to as a person. I hope it
Speaker 1: doesn't go any further now. I I also think though,
Speaker 1: the first thing I look for on any first date
Speaker 1: is if there's any sort of compatibility. Now, if there's
Speaker 1: no compatibility, then you don't that doesn't cross your mind.
Speaker 1: But if you if there's some sort of compatibility. There,
Speaker 1: you're getting along, she's laughing at my dumb jokes. I
Speaker 1: think this is great. Then obviously that will start to
Speaker 1: any guy's mind. It's gonna cross your mind. I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean, and you guys know it crosses your mind
Speaker 1: to meet. You don't say no, you know it does. No, No,
Speaker 1: it crosses your mind for sure. But what you're not
Speaker 1: You're going up to the pool, but you're not jumping in.
Speaker 1: The question is would you judge a woman not? It's
Speaker 1: not does a guy I want to have sex? Yes?
Speaker 1: He does, So I'll say when I was younger, I
Speaker 1: used to think that was something I wasn't interested. I
Speaker 1: would think if a girl wanted to, you know, was
Speaker 1: having sex on the first date with me, then clearly
Speaker 1: she would have sex with somebody else on the first date.
Speaker 1: So when I was younger, I would think that that
Speaker 1: bothered me. But I've I've grown older, and I've matured,
Speaker 1: and I've realized that, you know, but sured as much
Speaker 1: as I probably can, and I've realized that there's so
Speaker 1: much more to relationships than that. So to judge somebody
Speaker 1: on feeling their way through life just doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: So I actually have a lot of friends or quite
Speaker 1: a group of friends that have that did it on
Speaker 1: the first date and are happily married with kids for
Speaker 1: for for a long time. So the question is what
Speaker 1: I judge them? No, in the past, I may have,
Speaker 1: but I don't think that should be a deal break. Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: so the question was do you judge the woman not?
Speaker 1: Does it cross my mind both both? Like if you're
Speaker 1: going out on a date, like, let's be honest here,
Speaker 1: So if I'm going on on a date, like you're
Speaker 1: you're wanting to be physical with this person, that's probably
Speaker 1: why you're going on a date with them. You're not
Speaker 1: going on on a date with somebody you're not physically attract.
Speaker 1: But are you trying to lead the night in that direction?
Speaker 1: Or are you are you respectfully keeping a physical distance
Speaker 1: in like honoring getting to know somebody, wanting to move
Speaker 1: it in the physical element, like wanting to have sex
Speaker 1: with this person, but down the road tonight is just
Speaker 1: about seeing if our chemistry is on and if I
Speaker 1: really like you, Well, I don't think I don't think
Speaker 1: you should try and lead a date whatsoever. I think
Speaker 1: you just gotta see where it goes. You shouldn't go
Speaker 1: into it with a predetermined notion of, Hey, I'm really
Speaker 1: attracted to her. I'm gonna start, I'm gonna throw a
Speaker 1: few feelers out there. I'm gonna say this and see
Speaker 1: if she responds in a certain way or not. I'm
Speaker 1: more of the like mind of, hey, let's just see
Speaker 1: where the night takes us and and if you get along.
Speaker 1: But I'm also with Dmitri. I think it's when I
Speaker 1: was younger, I agreed the same thing. It was, Oh jeesus,
Speaker 1: she's gonna sleep with me on the first day. Who
Speaker 1: else has she slept with on the first date? But
Speaker 1: then the same thing as you get older and I
Speaker 1: don't know about wiser, but you just get older and
Speaker 1: so have been around a little bit, you, you know,
Speaker 1: before it gets to that point, if there's some sort
Speaker 1: of connection with this person. I appreciate that you kind
Speaker 1: of made a similarity between us, Dan, but I guarantee
Speaker 1: there's women that would have sex with you on the
Speaker 1: first date that would not have sex with me on
Speaker 1: the first day. So appreciate question. I have a question,
Speaker 1: were you guys really thinking about that when you were younger?
Speaker 1: Like m I wonder what she's going to think about
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna do this, and you know, what's she
Speaker 1: going to think? It wasn't I'm going to do this,
Speaker 1: and what's gonna think? My my? In my perfect world.
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I was a bit of a
Speaker 1: romantic and I wanted to like if I was if
Speaker 1: it was somebody that I was interested in having relationship with,
Speaker 1: my preference would have been to not do it on
Speaker 1: the first date. But as I said, I've realized that
Speaker 1: there's a lot when you're younger. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff that importance that you put on certain things that
Speaker 1: really in life that it's not as big a deal
Speaker 1: as you may be thinking. And that's your preference, not
Speaker 1: what you could have been taught maybe by your parents.
Speaker 1: Just got deep that got yeah, that was good, Uh,
Speaker 1: not what I saw. I don't think that I was
Speaker 1: taught with my parents, but from my parents, like don't
Speaker 1: do something on a first date. I think I was
Speaker 1: taught to be a gentleman um so maybe that factors
Speaker 1: into it somewhere. But yeah about your parents rick to
Speaker 1: like respect and like obviously you're talking, I think what
Speaker 1: were you taught like first night date ethics? No, definitely
Speaker 1: not taught first night date date ethics. But I think
Speaker 1: going into with what I was taught was be respectful,
Speaker 1: be nice, you know, treat the woman very you know,
Speaker 1: like a woman, and then you know, you know, then
Speaker 1: figure out what's going on in terms of what's the
Speaker 1: next move, right, I don't think I really I think
Speaker 1: personally I would always try to depending on how the
Speaker 1: date goes. I agree with Dan, you know, you just
Speaker 1: kind of start putting your feelers out there and then
Speaker 1: is it going good? And you know what's the next step?
Speaker 1: You kissed? You, you know, you go to the bar
Speaker 1: the next time or or whatever, but and then see
Speaker 1: where that leads us. But um, I think going in
Speaker 1: that was something the way that I was brought up,
Speaker 1: and those were the things that that was telling me
Speaker 1: inside to not go have sex the first time. That
Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, So Dr Harrianna, you guys remember dr V.
Speaker 1: DRV is wonderful And she commented on this post because
Speaker 1: we had this, we shared this on her how Many
Speaker 1: Things podcast community, and she said, if the chase is
Speaker 1: after a lasting, loving, intimate relationship, then sleeping together soon
Speaker 1: after meeting doesn't make a big difference. But if the
Speaker 1: chase is after sex, then yes, of course it will
Speaker 1: make a difference because the goal has been met. So, UM,
Speaker 1: I agree with what Dmitri said, is I if I'm
Speaker 1: going on a date, I'm going after the chase of
Speaker 1: pursuing something longer term with this person. Um is how
Speaker 1: I would look at it. So I actually, like Demetri said,
Speaker 1: I actually I prefer it to be like maybe more
Speaker 1: of a traditional guy and that I don't think I
Speaker 1: would force it or even try to steer it that
Speaker 1: way on night one. Um, just because in my own mindset,
Speaker 1: to be truthfully honest, in my own mindset, I'm like,
Speaker 1: just what you guys said, like how many other guys
Speaker 1: have she slept with on date one? Or is this
Speaker 1: is this the type of woman that I want to
Speaker 1: end up with. I have a question. Let's say we're all,
Speaker 1: you know, because we're all kind of on the same page.
Speaker 1: What if you get to that point at the end
Speaker 1: of the night and it's going around well and she
Speaker 1: wants to take it. Would you, as a guy then
Speaker 1: go no, no, no no, no, I don't feel real good
Speaker 1: head first. Would you would you tell the lottery that
Speaker 1: you have enough money? No? You would? Are you guys
Speaker 1: being serious? I'll say, you really like this girl, would
Speaker 1: you would you actually go for it? Or would you um?
Speaker 1: Would you out of respect and to maybe like with
Speaker 1: your values or like be like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: go there yet, you know, like you having a conversation
Speaker 1: where they're during dinner or when you're meeting of how
Speaker 1: many times have you had tex? Is that is that
Speaker 1: a differentiator? You're like, Hey, you know, look, I think
Speaker 1: if that's coming up, if you're having that conversation on
Speaker 1: the first date, I'm out. I'm like, okay, I don't
Speaker 1: want to be question. But then again, okay, let's be honest.
Speaker 1: It says she's this gorgeous girl and you're and she
Speaker 1: says to you know, every guy is gonna go really
Speaker 1: it means double yeah, yeah, exactly, gonna Let's add here's
Speaker 1: another on a show or where I heard it. But
Speaker 1: it's like, if a girl tells you how many guys
Speaker 1: she's been with you, multiply it by three. And for
Speaker 1: a guy, if he tells you how many girls he's
Speaker 1: been with you, divide it by three. You guys ever
Speaker 1: heard that? Yeah, I could. I could see that I've
Speaker 1: done what I've done. What Dan is saying you know
Speaker 1: you could a zero to mine, but you added to
Speaker 1: the beginning, not to the end. Okay, So UM, last
Speaker 1: touch point, last touch point on this because I want
Speaker 1: to move on. Um, because we actually have another guest
Speaker 1: coming in that's gonna help Rick with appending issue. Um.
Speaker 1: But what do you think my lasting point on this is? Um?
Speaker 1: I don't believe I would pursue it truthfully on night
Speaker 1: one on a first date, UM, because my goal with
Speaker 1: the date is not such to just have sex with
Speaker 1: this person. My goal with the date would be to
Speaker 1: discover the person, be curious about the person and about
Speaker 1: what the possibility of of a partnership with this person
Speaker 1: could be. And so respectfully, I would keep a physical
Speaker 1: distance and not try and lead it that way. And
Speaker 1: that's just my personal preference. Um. Even though the person
Speaker 1: might be insanely attractive and of course I want to
Speaker 1: get there, I think I would probably pump the brakes
Speaker 1: on that for a couple of days. You guys, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like you're idiot. Hey, Look, if I was a woman,
Speaker 1: I date you, That's that's the kind of guide one
Speaker 1: a date. UM. I just know I agree with you
Speaker 1: to a certain extent, but I'm also like a hundred
Speaker 1: years old. So I look at it this way. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I got tomorrow coming, but I got
Speaker 1: today right now. So what you said, I think it
Speaker 1: has changed with the age too. Yeah, yeah, but definitely.
Speaker 1: But to that point, see, I wouldn't pursue it. If
Speaker 1: there was a connection and we felt that way, then
Speaker 1: I would probably I would probably do it. I mean,
Speaker 1: look around, like I said before, they're they're bigger things
Speaker 1: to to face. Life on the world around us is
Speaker 1: burning right now. I don't think having sex on the
Speaker 1: first date is the worst thing that someone can do anymore.
Speaker 1: If you have that connection, fine, and if you find
Speaker 1: out later that I was a mistake and that's not
Speaker 1: somebody that you want to spend the rest of your
Speaker 1: life with, then you adapt from that. But to go
Speaker 1: in there saying this is this is a deal breaker.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it because it's only the first time.
Speaker 1: This bigger fish tofright, I have one Look, but do
Speaker 1: you think this is I mean, this is how many things?
Speaker 1: But do you think it makes that big of a
Speaker 1: difference to the woman if you were to back off
Speaker 1: and in her mind, if she's thinking I want to
Speaker 1: have sex with him, and you're like, no, is she
Speaker 1: thinking that okay, I respect him? Or is she going
Speaker 1: what's wrong with him? Um? Producer Tori, Tori, can you
Speaker 1: answer that question? So say, say you're on a date
Speaker 1: with a guy to Tori and you're really vibing with
Speaker 1: this guy, You're really into him, and you're like, dang,
Speaker 1: I usually don't do this, but like, I'm really attracted
Speaker 1: to this guy and you want to take it physical
Speaker 1: that evening and he says, I'm just not comfortable with this.
Speaker 1: I actually want to I love that you're attracted to me,
Speaker 1: but like, I think we need a little more time
Speaker 1: till we get to that stage. What are your thoughts
Speaker 1: on this guy? Then? That's so hot? Really? Yeah, that's sexy.
Speaker 1: Why is that? Because you gotta work for it and
Speaker 1: it's like you got some some backbone in you and
Speaker 1: you're not just like the guy that you just think
Speaker 1: is the cookie cutter guy. Now what if what if
Speaker 1: it doesn't make a difference. If he's doing that because
Speaker 1: he truly believes that and he wants to cherish a relationship,
Speaker 1: or is he doing that because that's kind of part
Speaker 1: of his game and he knows it's going to be
Speaker 1: real sexy to you. It doesn't matter. It's still sexy
Speaker 1: unless it's like he's not attracted to you, then you
Speaker 1: could kind of maybe go there. But I think it's hot.
Speaker 1: I know I have friends who have who are this
Speaker 1: is when I was younger too, This is like ten
Speaker 1: years ago, who were just like when you were twelve,
Speaker 1: who are just party as hell, and and they wanted
Speaker 1: to get out of that kind of thing of like
Speaker 1: pursuing sex on the first night where they would intentionally
Speaker 1: not shave their bits so that they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm too embarrassed ab what was going on down there,
Speaker 1: So again I just can't have sex tonight. So that
Speaker 1: was there. That was there, Like governor, to stop having
Speaker 1: sex on the first night, let me just say go ahead.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say with then if if she asked,
Speaker 1: why not, would they just be honest and say, because
Speaker 1: I chose not to shave my bits. I don't even
Speaker 1: know if it worked, funny enough. That's that's the that's
Speaker 1: the original name of my autobiography called Unshaven Bits True.
Speaker 1: By the way, well, Tori, we tried our best there. Uh. Also,
Speaker 1: I also don't think you get any less horny or
Speaker 1: the older you get. Let's just I totally agree with that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean like I don't care if years still for Yeah,
Speaker 1: And the truth is to you and asked the first
Speaker 1: time you said, does it even cross your mind? As
Speaker 1: soon as you said that, my wife had just walked
Speaker 1: out of the kitchen with the coffee, and it crossed
Speaker 1: my mind. I have one more question I want to
Speaker 1: ask you guys, So, if you're not looking for sex
Speaker 1: in the first date, or maybe you are but doesn't
Speaker 1: work out, in is the societally acceptable night to have
Speaker 1: sex where there's no judgment, no connotations like how Saturday? Saturday?
Speaker 1: How many? How many dating? Dating somebody? Um, according to
Speaker 1: your world's in perspective, is like an agreeable number to
Speaker 1: like to consummate physically, you know, to have sexual relations?
Speaker 1: Three three, It just seems like the right number. I
Speaker 1: don't even do do people even still think about that? Like,
Speaker 1: if you don't have sex on the first date, then
Speaker 1: are you gonna say, all right, well, it's like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stop drinking. Okay, how many days I don't know,
Speaker 1: But if you get to day two, that's like I
Speaker 1: can do day three. So when do you finally go
Speaker 1: like I need to at least wait. I think once
Speaker 1: the first date is gone and you don't have sex,
Speaker 1: then you just let the chips fall where they may.
Speaker 1: I mean it's like, is it do you then go? Okay,
Speaker 1: I've gotta wait until number eight, number five because do
Speaker 1: you honestly think so much is going to occur and
Speaker 1: those other three dates that will change something or I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think if there's an attraction there and
Speaker 1: you've already given it one shot with the first date,
Speaker 1: then I think once you get past that first or
Speaker 1: second then it's like, then, yes, what's the difference? What
Speaker 1: what exactly are you counting to? And on the flip side,
Speaker 1: you could get to a point where like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: stay four and we haven't done it yet, and then
Speaker 1: you start adding pressure onto it and then it's not
Speaker 1: going to be you know, as fun or as natural
Speaker 1: as it would be just to just to do it. Rick,
Speaker 1: what are you thinking? Brother? I think the second date
Speaker 1: is pretty legit. I agree with Dan though. I mean
Speaker 1: it's like, who's really counting? I mean, if you do
Speaker 1: the first date, cool, you set the groundwork. Now she's
Speaker 1: after you again, and it's like, what you know, if
Speaker 1: things are kicking off the right way, then to go ahead,
Speaker 1: for go for it. I see what you guys are saying,
Speaker 1: because there's also a component of like, if you guys
Speaker 1: are vibing with each other, obviously there's enough of a
Speaker 1: vibe that you're on a second date. And if you're
Speaker 1: vibing with each other, you kind of know, like, hey,
Speaker 1: whether it's date three or date six, like this is
Speaker 1: probably gonna happen. Yeah, right, So doesn't matter, like you
Speaker 1: were saying, demti doesn't matter if it's two, or doesn't
Speaker 1: matter if it's four. In in the scope of the relationship,
Speaker 1: probably it doesn't matter anymore other than just telling the
Speaker 1: story of what night you hooked up on, whether it
Speaker 1: was two or four. And who keep who are you
Speaker 1: keeping a score for? The fact of the matter is,
Speaker 1: if Date one bothers you, once you get to day two,
Speaker 1: you've already agreed that you like each other enough to
Speaker 1: go out again, So then don't who you keep a
Speaker 1: score for? Just let the chips fall. Date one bothers
Speaker 1: me truthfully Date one, That's what I mean though, But
Speaker 1: once you're past that, you've agreed that you that there's
Speaker 1: something more there, so just let it on day two, three, four,
Speaker 1: or five six? What if you go grab coffee? What
Speaker 1: if you go grab coffee and then go for that,
Speaker 1: don't do it in a coffee shop. Now you're now
Speaker 1: you're defining what the date is. So maybe maybe the
Speaker 1: first date is let's grab coffee, finish the coffee, and
Speaker 1: then I'll say tomorrow, and then okay, let's get thank you,
Speaker 1: and then you're going to dinner that night. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a Kenny ban your situation. Soup isn't a meal. That's
Speaker 1: not a date. We had soup. That doesn't count his
Speaker 1: date too. Um. Does anybody have any like horror stories
Speaker 1: of first dates from the past they want to share? No,
Speaker 1: I'm perfect. I mean that's pretty good. No. My my
Speaker 1: current wife, I mentioned, we've been together since our first date.
Speaker 1: We were like and haven't separated since our first date.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. So, Um, but that was we She lived
Speaker 1: in New York, I live in l A. We had
Speaker 1: spoken over the phone for hours at a time for
Speaker 1: a couple of months prior to it, and then I
Speaker 1: went to New York for work and I said, Hey,
Speaker 1: let's finally meet in person, and UM went out and
Speaker 1: and uh went out on the date that night, and
Speaker 1: then you know, a few months later she ended up
Speaker 1: moving quitting her job and moving to l A. Could
Speaker 1: you tell on that first date, like, I'm really into
Speaker 1: this this girl, like this is this is different ours?
Speaker 1: Our relationship was weird. By the end of the night,
Speaker 1: we were at the bar on the rooftop of this
Speaker 1: hotel I was staying, and we were referring to each
Speaker 1: other as our husband and wife. Yeah, it was it
Speaker 1: was two people we were meeting, like, and it was
Speaker 1: just we knew we both knew right then, so that uh,
Speaker 1: and it was the first time I had experienced anything
Speaker 1: like that, and so yeah, I kind of knew right away.
Speaker 1: It was just an immediate kind of connection that, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: And I think truthfully though, too, what really helped us
Speaker 1: was those phone conversations long distance, getting to know each
Speaker 1: other without you know, seeing her pretty face in front
Speaker 1: of me. It was just getting to know that person
Speaker 1: and sharing things with each other. So then when we
Speaker 1: finally did meet each other, it was almost like all
Speaker 1: that groundwork had been laid, you know, those first few dates,
Speaker 1: phone dates out of the way, whatever. It's so when
Speaker 1: we did finally meet in person, it was like we
Speaker 1: already knew each other and knew so much about each other.
Speaker 1: M M, yeah, I get what you're saying there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember. Wait, Brooks, have you had a bad first date?
Speaker 1: You brought that up. You must have one. UM. To
Speaker 1: be honest, I never dated much, truthfully, like I I've
Speaker 1: shared it on this show. From from twenty to thirty.
Speaker 1: I was full. I was full weighted career pursuit of
Speaker 1: hockey UM that governed every decision in the course of
Speaker 1: my day. And I had no balance, no counterbalance of
Speaker 1: social life. So I've dated very little. UM. But the
Speaker 1: dates I did go on, I just remember this like
Speaker 1: I remember it being so f and painful. I would
Speaker 1: get on a date and five minutes into the date
Speaker 1: I didn't like the girl, you know, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: dear God, like all right, grinding here for another hour
Speaker 1: and forty five minutes or something when all I want
Speaker 1: to be home is resting because we play tomorrow. And
Speaker 1: now I'm grinding away on this date with this girl
Speaker 1: and it's just not going anywhere. I know I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna marry her. Just let me eat a steak and
Speaker 1: you know, kind of just have a nice conversation. Did
Speaker 1: you ever create a situation to get yourself out of that? No? No,
Speaker 1: I did not. I have not. Just the other day,
Speaker 1: one of the best friends in l A said that
Speaker 1: her when she goes on a date, twice, she's had
Speaker 1: her roommate call him because she'll they have a code
Speaker 1: where he she texts him and that means call and
Speaker 1: then she's like oh, or he texts He's like, oh,
Speaker 1: something just happened with my dog, and then he calls
Speaker 1: her right away and on speaker phone. She puts it
Speaker 1: on speaker phone and he's like, hey, I'll let you
Speaker 1: know that your dog is thrown up. Like what do
Speaker 1: I do about this? Right in the kitchen, it's like yellow,
Speaker 1: I don't know what I do. And then she's like ah,
Speaker 1: because then it's on speaker phone, right, it's not like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's legit according to anymore. Yeah, yeah, I just I
Speaker 1: didn't say her name, so I haven't fully outed her.
Speaker 1: But she does have a dog. Um, but I've never
Speaker 1: pulled a stunt like that. Um. I think I would
Speaker 1: just grind it through and then go home. Yeah. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't. I can't remember me and
Speaker 1: I didn't go on many dates. I think too. If
Speaker 1: you're if you're going creating a backup, like backup plan
Speaker 1: like that before you even go on the date, you
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't go on the date to begin this. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: we're gonna come up with something that elaborate. And god forbid.
Speaker 1: She's out one night and the guy she's on the
Speaker 1: date with goes, well, actually I'm a veterinarian. It's like
Speaker 1: the episode of is there a Marine Biologist? Actually there's yellow,
Speaker 1: that's just bio. It's fine, that fine, he probably ate
Speaker 1: some grass. Let's enjoy the rest of our meal. I'm
Speaker 1: happy to treat him. I'm more interested in the brainstorming
Speaker 1: session that's like, okay, now what if what colors? What
Speaker 1: colors the bile? Let's go with yellow. Yeah. Producer Tori,
Speaker 1: do you have any like horrific first date stories. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to think I don't have like horrific, but I've
Speaker 1: definitely had the dates where I'm like, please don't touch me,
Speaker 1: please don't hold my hand. Um, oh, I do have one.
Speaker 1: So I was I've talked about it on another podcast before,
Speaker 1: but I went on a date with someone and we
Speaker 1: had like stayed in touch through college. He was at
Speaker 1: Stanford and I was here and he was like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm like finally going to be in town. We had
Speaker 1: like talked for like kind of on and off for
Speaker 1: a long time. He's like, let me, can I take
Speaker 1: you to breakfast lunched in or whatever you want? I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, sure. It was before Father's Day, so
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll do let's do like a breakfast
Speaker 1: or later lunch. And we get to the table and
Speaker 1: we order food and like I got a latte, he
Speaker 1: just had water. And then we went to pay. And
Speaker 1: I am always the girl who like will offer to
Speaker 1: like lay a card down. I feel like that's the
Speaker 1: thing to do, which maybe you guys can comment on that.
Speaker 1: Is it attractive? Does it feel like I'm making it
Speaker 1: a friend zone moon move? I don't know, um, but
Speaker 1: I laid my car down and then he just split
Speaker 1: it with me and I ordered or he ordered a
Speaker 1: latte and I had water, So technically I paid more
Speaker 1: for him because he had a drink and I didn't.
Speaker 1: What did that do for you? Were you? Like you asked?
Speaker 1: I was like, is this a date or is this not?
Speaker 1: But like we had like spent like a whole walk,
Speaker 1: like we spent an hour prior. Then we got lunch,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, yikes, I don't know what
Speaker 1: this is. This is confusing. And then I but the
Speaker 1: more I talked to people, they were like, you friend
Speaker 1: zoned him by, or maybe he just thought you were
Speaker 1: an independent woman and wanted to be an independent woman.
Speaker 1: So he's like, I'm going to let her. If she
Speaker 1: wants paid for half, I'll let her pay for half.
Speaker 1: Maybe he felt he might insult you if he made
Speaker 1: you do that, because what happened, But what happened after that?
Speaker 1: Did he ask you out again? To point? Did he
Speaker 1: ask you out again? Like we walked like I think
Speaker 1: he walked into my car, like we didn't kiss or anything.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I guess we're just friends. Like
Speaker 1: I'm so confused, and not saying that him not paying
Speaker 1: for a bill, it just it just made me more.
Speaker 1: I get it. The guy doesn't buy you water, you're
Speaker 1: not hey, I get it. We just call me your
Speaker 1: sugar mama. Here I am buying your lawte's ten bucks
Speaker 1: in l A. You know. So it's like, but in fairness,
Speaker 1: the waters are seven, so okay, so gent's uh first
Speaker 1: date or do guys pick up the tab? Do you split?
Speaker 1: Is it the modern era where it's a split, right,
Speaker 1: Like what happens in the first date? Who's paying for that?
Speaker 1: Guys always do? I always and even like like I'll
Speaker 1: even go to have go to Starbucks with my wife
Speaker 1: and she'll be like, here, I'll treat it. Just for
Speaker 1: some reason, I don't know it bothers me. I'm like,
Speaker 1: just let me pay, like just I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is. But first date, for sure, you
Speaker 1: have to even if it's bad, even if you just yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to pay even if it's bad. Maybe then
Speaker 1: that's another way to just be like, hey, at least
Speaker 1: I bought your dinner. It's fine. You know, it just
Speaker 1: didn't work out for me. I agree. I think that
Speaker 1: the one offer from the from the woman is nice.
Speaker 1: I would I don't ever in the past, I had
Speaker 1: never let that um you know, when I was single,
Speaker 1: I never let that deter me. I would always pay.
Speaker 1: I would always be the gentleman and pay no matter
Speaker 1: what um. The offer was always nice. If it was
Speaker 1: a second offer or she insisted, then you start to
Speaker 1: get that friend zone field. But I think it signifies
Speaker 1: that it's an actual date. Yeah, if you if the
Speaker 1: guy pays, yes, yeah, I agree, has has um. This
Speaker 1: is just curious, Like Tori, what would happen if you
Speaker 1: go on a date with a guy and the check
Speaker 1: comes and the guy just chills. They're like, check comes,
Speaker 1: he doesn't reach for his wallet, he doesn't like grab
Speaker 1: it before you can grab it, like waiter, sets it
Speaker 1: on the table, and the check just chills there. What
Speaker 1: would happen? Well, that's kind of what happened on this date.
Speaker 1: So I was like fiddling with my like wallet for
Speaker 1: a bit, like I was like, am I gonna this? Like?
Speaker 1: Am I gonna have an overdraft fee? Because I might?
Speaker 1: And I was like okay, and then I like laid
Speaker 1: it down and then he put his card on top
Speaker 1: of mine. So ladies fidget for a couple of minutes
Speaker 1: and hopefully he lays it first, and you're not in
Speaker 1: my situation. That happened last time. Last time I went
Speaker 1: out for drinks with Rick. That happened, okay, And he
Speaker 1: didn't reach for it at all. I didn't even read
Speaker 1: my wallet. I knew it was going to be an
Speaker 1: easy one. Let's wall it up north and get out
Speaker 1: of persons. But I think that also goes to who
Speaker 1: invited who is. It's similar to like a client lunch,
Speaker 1: Like if you're taking out your client and he pulls
Speaker 1: out his credit card, she pulls out his creit. It's
Speaker 1: like no, no, no, like I got this, I invited you.
Speaker 1: This is what's going on, and I will pay you know.
Speaker 1: I feel the same way with the date, like if
Speaker 1: you invited that person out or hey let's grab coffee. Okay,
Speaker 1: you buy the coffee or at least damn near offered
Speaker 1: to buy it. Unique question then, so because this doesn't
Speaker 1: happen as often, um, Tory, Let's say you ask a
Speaker 1: guy on a date. A woman asked the man on
Speaker 1: a date. Is she then expected to pay red? Uh? No, No,
Speaker 1: I think that he gets up to the gun. I
Speaker 1: lost it. Tory is gonna call me out. You start
Speaker 1: to a guys, so have to you see as Ricky's
Speaker 1: dealing with a lot with his big toe and everything. Yeah, thanks, No,
Speaker 1: I mean I've like I've I've opened about this, I've
Speaker 1: like slid into d m s before. We're like, you've
Speaker 1: approached people, but I've never been like you me, let's
Speaker 1: go mm hmmm. So I've been asked out before and
Speaker 1: the girl said, well no, I mean you know, I asked,
Speaker 1: so let me get it. And I said no, no no,
Speaker 1: I said, you asked. That was step on to step two.
Speaker 1: Now this is my turn. Now I get to buy it.
Speaker 1: So thank you? Well played good? Yeah? Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: think I think if the girl or whoever asks should pay. No,
Speaker 1: you just went literally literally just flip flopping. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm on an on ramp in Los Angeles right now.
Speaker 1: Question for you because undoubtedly in your life you've been
Speaker 1: asked out by a girl. Oh no, come on, yeah,
Speaker 1: come on, Okay, So who pays? Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: You get asked out? And I have always it's feel
Speaker 1: about that. Let's go with that. How do you feel
Speaker 1: if the girl asks you out? Oh, if I like her,
Speaker 1: that's great. Yeah. I don't think that's an issue. The
Speaker 1: paying paying for the bill, I'm always I maybe it
Speaker 1: was just the way I was raised. It's like the
Speaker 1: man is supposed to pay so um. And also it's
Speaker 1: like I get I don't know, it's it's almost um um.
Speaker 1: If I'm not paying, I'd feel bad to like see
Speaker 1: a waiter, see the woman put her credit card down
Speaker 1: on me, just go alright, great, yesh. So even that
Speaker 1: it just emasculates me. It's like, I just you know,
Speaker 1: I think the guy should always pay, even if the
Speaker 1: girl asks, ow, yeah, what if she like ordered surf
Speaker 1: and turf and that doesn't but then let me see,
Speaker 1: okay in the handbook, now you went, so you have
Speaker 1: to at least split it. That's it. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: who you're with. I get uncomfortable even like if we
Speaker 1: were to if I were to go out with a buddy, right,
Speaker 1: said Brooks. You and I go out and you get
Speaker 1: like a steak and a lobster, and I get like
Speaker 1: a cheeseburger, it's still uncomfortable to me to be like, well,
Speaker 1: I mean you had I will split that right down
Speaker 1: the middle, like there's just no haggling, Like it's it's
Speaker 1: very uncomfortable. That's that's j V. That's like college, Like
Speaker 1: I'm only on a strict budget, Like, dude, you got
Speaker 1: chicken in your brito, I got steak. I'm a story
Speaker 1: for this my very first pro meal. So when I
Speaker 1: turned pro and we went out, we went to Philadelphia,
Speaker 1: playing the game in Philly, and we went out for
Speaker 1: supper as a team, and we had one guy on
Speaker 1: our team he had just turned pro as well. He's
Speaker 1: young guy had just turned pro as well. And you
Speaker 1: haven't got your paychecks yet, like you're I was making
Speaker 1: ninety buck every two weeks in junior hockey before I
Speaker 1: turned pro, so like you're waiting for your paycheck. And
Speaker 1: the very first meal, he orders like a club sandwich,
Speaker 1: like a twelve dollars or we're at a nice restaurant,
Speaker 1: steakhouse something. He gets like a club sandwich or something whatever.
Speaker 1: It was ham and cheese, I don't know. And guys
Speaker 1: have the steaks, flaming yawns, wine coming, whatever, and then
Speaker 1: the bill comes and everybody just divvyes it up. That's
Speaker 1: what the guys do, right, He says, twelve guys are
Speaker 1: out for supper here it's uh hunter bucks each and
Speaker 1: and he freaking loses his mind. He's like, what, like what,
Speaker 1: I don't had a freaking club sandwiches twelve bucks. It
Speaker 1: was his baptism to pro um, and he was pissed.
Speaker 1: His face was read. He probably had to take out
Speaker 1: a loan to pay for his supper that night. You
Speaker 1: know it would be great, ine, but see in hockey.
Speaker 1: You know there's fighting in hockey. What would be great
Speaker 1: is if they would if he would have actually thrown
Speaker 1: hands at that point, like it would have been just
Speaker 1: like a hockey match where then he's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I got a club sandwich and just starts hitting the
Speaker 1: guy next to him, and it's just the two of them.
Speaker 1: You gotta let him go. And then whoever takes the
Speaker 1: guy down, then it's like, Okay, pulls his button down
Speaker 1: over his head, just started weiling on him. And then
Speaker 1: the local news that night as that scuffle broke out
Speaker 1: at the Master of steakhouse and I over a club sandwich.
Speaker 1: But hey, all of us have that guy in our
Speaker 1: friend group that are like that wants to divvy up
Speaker 1: and split a nine person meal. It's like, I just
Speaker 1: want my little segment and you can tell how they're
Speaker 1: ordering too. Um. I had a buddy that used to
Speaker 1: carry quarters in his wallet, so if it came down
Speaker 1: to like fifty cents, he tossed in the fifty cents
Speaker 1: and it would make me soone comes out like just
Speaker 1: every So what I would tend to do is be
Speaker 1: like everybody just putting in what you think you will
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna pay the rest because it was
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable to me. Would you at quarters at that point? Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is still going on with these guys. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be like years ago, right, hopefully. We also had one
Speaker 1: guy on our team who every meal he would put
Speaker 1: it on his credit card and just take cash from
Speaker 1: the other guys every single time. Every single time he
Speaker 1: would put he's like, I got a boys put on
Speaker 1: his credit card. The other guys will pay him eighty
Speaker 1: bucks cash whatever. It was. End of the year, he
Speaker 1: had like just thousands and thousands of frequent Flyer mars,
Speaker 1: like just he could fly all summer long. He was
Speaker 1: just on a countrywide tour flying first class just courtesy
Speaker 1: of what he put on his credit card for the
Speaker 1: boys meals over the year into a gambling rehab. This
Speaker 1: guy quite posibly. Isn't this nice to sit around and
Speaker 1: talk about when we used to go to restaurants in
Speaker 1: large groups? Right? So joining us now we Dr Neil Bart,
Speaker 1: Are you with us? Neil, I'm I'm here, I'm here.
Speaker 1: I appreciate coming on the show, my friend. You know
Speaker 1: what I've of all of the of all of the
Speaker 1: shows we've ever done. Reading your bio was like, like
Speaker 1: Dan's bio was huge, but reading your bio was like
Speaker 1: thirty pages. And I'm like, this guy, how is he
Speaker 1: a doctor and a producer like Harvard grad and all
Speaker 1: of this stuff. And I've always been as as an
Speaker 1: athlete and ex athlete, I've always been fascinated by people
Speaker 1: who can cross over into multiple industries. And so your
Speaker 1: your medical background is exceptional, but then what you've done
Speaker 1: in the entertainment world is equally as exceptional. So I
Speaker 1: look at you with just admiration, my friend, and I
Speaker 1: appreciate you being on the show. Thanks a lot. I
Speaker 1: used to come on right before us when you were
Speaker 1: on Veronica's Closet and I was doing e ER. So
Speaker 1: I've been following you for years. Yeah, Dan was on
Speaker 1: Veronica's Closet. Dan, Yes, Dan, Sorry, I was looking at
Speaker 1: Dan up here. Yeah, we're all looking at that. It's
Speaker 1: a handsome not the truth. So Dr Neil, we have
Speaker 1: a question for you. Rick's got a little bit of
Speaker 1: a health issue going on um that he's been gracious
Speaker 1: enough to open up and share with our our community
Speaker 1: and our listeners, and and thank you for taking the time. First,
Speaker 1: we want you to look at him and guess what's
Speaker 1: wrong with him that. Sorry, go ahead, Dr Neil will
Speaker 1: here to help. We're here to help Rick, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna read you just uh some text messages here, UM
Speaker 1: and the guys. We're gonna get your opinion on why
Speaker 1: guys are kind of terrified of the doctor. The doctor. Um.
Speaker 1: But here's the text message from Rick's phone. Uh, says
Speaker 1: e K G is all good, no issues, she thinks
Speaker 1: gout on foot, but signed me up for a fluid pole,
Speaker 1: which I'll probably cancel. It sounds horrible. Blood pressure is normal.
Speaker 1: I'm just not getting enough sex, she said, uh, and
Speaker 1: in the response was dude, get the flipping fluid pole.
Speaker 1: This is a how men think episode. Women get mammograms, epidurals,
Speaker 1: twenty whoms of blood drawn for each pregnancy. I mean,
Speaker 1: come on, do it now, everything about your situation and
Speaker 1: you're getting a colon exam this year, just trying to
Speaker 1: protect you. And yes, I agree, not enough six, not
Speaker 1: enough six just just yeah, thank you Brooks. This is
Speaker 1: this is a text message between myself and my wife
Speaker 1: right right, here's the contract. But whoever it was with? Um,
Speaker 1: so what is this issue with gout do you have? Um? Um? So,
Speaker 1: I about a month ago, I woke up going on
Speaker 1: a fishing trip with my son up in Oregon, and
Speaker 1: I woke up in my my left big toe just
Speaker 1: started hurting and I wasn't walking right, and I just
Speaker 1: took a bunch of ivyprofen, got in the car. We
Speaker 1: went on the whole fishing trip, and it just progressively
Speaker 1: got worse as we moved along. And so I called
Speaker 1: a buddy of mine and I was actually one of
Speaker 1: the guys, said, you know, I think you may have
Speaker 1: gout like I had it in my finger and said
Speaker 1: it was just this extreme paine and it absolutely. He's like,
Speaker 1: are you eating red meat and drinking beer and and
Speaker 1: all that? And I and I really don't drink all
Speaker 1: that much, but I do eat a lot of a
Speaker 1: lot of steak and ribs and things. Um, and I
Speaker 1: have been a little bit more so since COVID. But um,
Speaker 1: liver do you eat liver? And oregan? No? Higher? And yeah,
Speaker 1: like cholesterol side of it in the problems that cause gaped,
Speaker 1: but the crystallization, yeah, yeah, um so you can. Do
Speaker 1: you drink a lot of water? I drink a ton
Speaker 1: of water A ton of water. Yeah, so you know,
Speaker 1: I think I'm all in favor of So it could
Speaker 1: be gap, but it's only you've had it once. I've
Speaker 1: only had it once. And through the trip We've gone
Speaker 1: for about a week and it just got worse and
Speaker 1: worse and worse. And I couldn't even get I wear
Speaker 1: like van slip bombs for the most part um and
Speaker 1: I couldn't even get my foot into the into the
Speaker 1: vans to do when I was bobbling around. It was
Speaker 1: really it was swollen but not read. And you know,
Speaker 1: I started googling it what was gout and they said
Speaker 1: it's very red and it looks super ugly, and so
Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe it's knocked out. And I called a
Speaker 1: friend and they said that it was meta for metator
Speaker 1: soul filia or something along those lines. So yeah, it
Speaker 1: could be. It could be a lot of different things.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm always a believer in you know, when
Speaker 1: you have a problem going to a physician or a
Speaker 1: physician assistant or a nurse practitioner and having a work up.
Speaker 1: I did an episode once on The R where No
Speaker 1: Wiley's character spent thousands of dollars because he was afraid
Speaker 1: of missing something and and he he ended up finding
Speaker 1: something so rare in this patient it paid off. But
Speaker 1: typically we're not supposed to do that. It's like it's
Speaker 1: called shotgunning. The patient shot and the patient. But but
Speaker 1: you know, in your case, when was the last time
Speaker 1: you had a physical exam and a full workup of
Speaker 1: you know, blood, all the blood tests that you know,
Speaker 1: testosterone that gets into the issues of sex because if
Speaker 1: you have a low testosterone level, that can be addressed.
Speaker 1: So I got your age, should you know, probably have
Speaker 1: this testosterone checked and have a complete blood work up
Speaker 1: and uh yeah, even so, and uh he was just
Speaker 1: flexing in a plaid shirt like I don't know. And also,
Speaker 1: you know, it's been interesting for me during COVID is that, um,
Speaker 1: I stopped eating sugar, which I love, So I love sugar.
Speaker 1: So I stopped for the last three months, and I
Speaker 1: feel a lot better. And I usually think it's kind
Speaker 1: of you know, crap that people say that, but I
Speaker 1: really do sleep better and I really do feel better
Speaker 1: and I have more energy. So I have had literally
Speaker 1: no sugar. I like, look at labels and all that.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm, I'm do you drink soda. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I each your class. I'm glad. I'm glad I asked you. So.
Speaker 1: I just thought, of course, at Harvard's Kennedy School of
Speaker 1: Government called soda politics, and I love it when somebody
Speaker 1: says they drink soda, because then I can scare the
Speaker 1: hell out of them and say there was a study
Speaker 1: done of men who drink one sweet and soda a
Speaker 1: day and it had an end or the number of
Speaker 1: participants was in tens of thousands. Was published in the
Speaker 1: journal Cardiology, and it showed that men who drink one
Speaker 1: sweetened soda day one soda is sugar, not diet soda,
Speaker 1: had increase in heart disease. So if you do anything
Speaker 1: besides there's two things. As a physician, I recommend don't
Speaker 1: smoke cigarettes because we just know it takes years off
Speaker 1: your life. And two, don't drink soda. Drink water because
Speaker 1: there we have so many studies now that show that
Speaker 1: is harmful for men and women, but it's particularly harmful
Speaker 1: for men. What we think happens is that um, the
Speaker 1: high fruit toast corn syrup in the soda um, when
Speaker 1: you consume it goes directly into your bloodstream. It causes
Speaker 1: fatty liver and also the liver processes to hide fruit
Speaker 1: toast corn syrup in such a way that it raises
Speaker 1: your triglycerides. So if you could do some things to
Speaker 1: improve your health, you know, without really like harming your lifestyle,
Speaker 1: I would say the first thing to do would be
Speaker 1: to not drink soda and cut Sure, you know you
Speaker 1: don't have to cut all sugar out of your life,
Speaker 1: but just not drinking soda has a huge impact on
Speaker 1: people i've seen. Dr Neil. Thank you for your time.
Speaker 1: I appreciate we'd love to have you back sometimes. Thanks. Sorry,
Speaker 1: get your tested Yeah yeah, I know, the big old
Speaker 1: needle out. Anyway, Dan, I appreciate your time. Worries, this
Speaker 1: is a good time. Get me into uh, give me
Speaker 1: into your book. Here this I'm being like a karate kick.
Speaker 1: They're coming off the cover because yeah, that's the actual book.
Speaker 1: It's called. It's called Step Off My Journey from Membo
Speaker 1: to Manhood, And I'm gonna cut you off real quick
Speaker 1: and then you can get back to it. My fav
Speaker 1: the title is my favorite because people know Dan from
Speaker 1: whatever you know, uh from uh MTV uh and all that.
Speaker 1: But anybody that hasn't figured it out. Yet he is Tony,
Speaker 1: the male membo from Seinfeld clients take iconic episode, and
Speaker 1: he kept the famous line was step off. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that the title alone sells well and even
Speaker 1: where how we came up with that. I was approached
Speaker 1: to write the book, and I'll make this quick. I
Speaker 1: was approached to write the book, and this guy that
Speaker 1: approached me to write it kept saying I wanted to
Speaker 1: be Dan. I wanted to be more Dan. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be positive. I wanted to be so, I said,
Speaker 1: I don't you know. We had never met in person.
Speaker 1: We had spoken on the phone a few times. I said,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I want
Speaker 1: to know, like, what do you think I would be
Speaker 1: like in Purse? And because you keep saying you wanted
Speaker 1: to be more Dan, I don't know what the hell
Speaker 1: you're talking about. And he said what he had asked
Speaker 1: around the publishing house, he goes in as a whole,
Speaker 1: we kind of think you'd be a lot like the
Speaker 1: character you played on Seinfeld. And then he went on
Speaker 1: to say all these nice things about me. But all
Speaker 1: I heard is Dmitri said, all I heard was he
Speaker 1: called me a membo, a male bimbo, and that's all
Speaker 1: I heard. So as he was saying all these other
Speaker 1: flattering things, I said, I'll write the book. I want
Speaker 1: to write the book. And he's like, why, it's because
Speaker 1: I think there's so much more to me than that.
Speaker 1: So but I told him, I said, I want the
Speaker 1: title to be my journey from Membo to manhood. So look,
Speaker 1: I hope that's what achieved. I achieved throughout the story,
Speaker 1: because I even right in the introduction, if this it's
Speaker 1: Membo to manhood, I hope If it's just Membo two
Speaker 1: older Membo, that wouldn't be good. We just need to
Speaker 1: make sure that we get to the manhood part um.
Speaker 1: But it was it was really um. Just writing it
Speaker 1: was a cathartic experience for me because like as guys,
Speaker 1: you know, it's I wanted it to be sort of
Speaker 1: this journey of taking my life as a as a puzzle,
Speaker 1: tearing it all apart, and then taking the stories that
Speaker 1: really seemed inconsequential that for some reason, I remember this
Speaker 1: Little League story from when I was ten, I don't
Speaker 1: know why, and I sort of took all those stories
Speaker 1: from my life and sort of pieced it back together
Speaker 1: to see if that puzzle still looks the same that
Speaker 1: I think it does, because I said, truthfully, the way
Speaker 1: I think of myself, the way other people think of me,
Speaker 1: and the way I think other people think of me
Speaker 1: are three entirely different things. So I at least want
Speaker 1: to know I am who I am by the end
Speaker 1: of this. So that's sort of the And the book's
Speaker 1: broken down into three parts, my foundation, fame, and fatherhood.
Speaker 1: And I was telling somebody the other day, so truthfully,
Speaker 1: the hardest part for me to write was the fame part,
Speaker 1: because the publishers wanted, we want stories about being an actor,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm not going to sit there
Speaker 1: and write, well this one time when I was on
Speaker 1: the set with Curts the alley we did, I didn't
Speaker 1: want it to be that, so you know, I tried
Speaker 1: to And another thing I told them also, each chapter
Speaker 1: I'm writing it basically for guys, I don't want to
Speaker 1: read a chapter that's longer than five pages, like, let
Speaker 1: me be able to read that at five And so
Speaker 1: my chapters are short. They're anecdotal stories about this point
Speaker 1: in my life. This got me to this, and it's
Speaker 1: let's put a little bow on the end of you know,
Speaker 1: every story, and here's what I learned from it. So um,
Speaker 1: it was a lot of fun. It was a great
Speaker 1: cathartic experience. And yeah, there's some there's some Seinfeld story
Speaker 1: and there the whole Even the way I got that gig,
Speaker 1: I got a call from my manager who then said
Speaker 1: it's when I was working for MTV, said, Larry uh
Speaker 1: David and Jerry Seinfeld want to meet with you. They
Speaker 1: they I thought I was auditioning for the show was
Speaker 1: my favorite show at the time. So I go in
Speaker 1: and it was in the afternoon that afternoon and they're
Speaker 1: sitting in there, just the two of them, and so, okay,
Speaker 1: this is great. We sit there and shoot for ten
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes, and then I was like, what my do
Speaker 1: you guys have sides? What do you want me to read?
Speaker 1: And Larry just goes, no, I just need to see
Speaker 1: if you can put two words together. So we'll see
Speaker 1: you tomorrow. We're starting tomorrow. And so that was sort
Speaker 1: of how that. I was like, Okay, so I got
Speaker 1: the job. They're like, yeah, you got the job, so um,
Speaker 1: and but what a what a great experience that was,
Speaker 1: And just you know, to meet your as what you
Speaker 1: know just from working with comedy pros, like when you
Speaker 1: get there. There was no ego there. That was Larry's
Speaker 1: whole thing and Jerry as well. They just wanted whatever's funniest,
Speaker 1: say it, whatever's funniest, just do it. And if they
Speaker 1: had told me a story about there was one episode
Speaker 1: of Seinfeld where the episode where Jerry couldn't remember his
Speaker 1: girlfriend's name, but he remembered it rhymed with a female
Speaker 1: body part and he couldn't remember, couldn't remember, and the
Speaker 1: writers were having trouble coming up the joke wasn't landing,
Speaker 1: so on the in front of the odysse at night,
Speaker 1: couldn't come up with the so the warm up guy
Speaker 1: had asked the honest, does anybody have a joke that
Speaker 1: maybe they could use her? What's a what's a female
Speaker 1: name that rhymes the body part? And some guy in
Speaker 1: the crowd said mulva and the crowd erupted and laughed,
Speaker 1: and Larry said that use that, Okay, writer, stop writing,
Speaker 1: just use that, And I said it's funny. I told
Speaker 1: my wife again. You know there's some guy like at
Speaker 1: a bar in Milwaukee that sits at the end of
Speaker 1: the bar. You know that episode that was me came
Speaker 1: up with that, I was Mova, that was my idea.
Speaker 1: That's the that's the brilliance of it, though. They that's
Speaker 1: why the show was so successful because they do you
Speaker 1: want the best. When the egos get involved, then it's like, well,
Speaker 1: now you're not going for the best product, You're just
Speaker 1: going for the best. Congratulations. And you know, luckily because
Speaker 1: that episode, the one, the one when you were on
Speaker 1: you stole a lot of scenes in that in that
Speaker 1: and so when people reference that episode, they're all referencing
Speaker 1: you the and and you know what, I had no
Speaker 1: clue what the hell I was doing. Sometimes, I mean
Speaker 1: I even and I've never really told anybody this other
Speaker 1: than my wife. I watched that episode. Sometimes when I
Speaker 1: see it a rerun and I cringe, I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm so bad. This was so bad. And
Speaker 1: people I'll meet people that are going, oh, the way
Speaker 1: you created the character and I was just trying to
Speaker 1: remember the lines. That was the first. That was the
Speaker 1: first sitcom m I had ever done. I've done dramas before,
Speaker 1: but that was the first sitcom. And of course I'm
Speaker 1: working with the the uh, you know cast of Seinfeld.
Speaker 1: I was so nervous. It was just like so you know.
Speaker 1: And the weird thing about that too, that show, for
Speaker 1: the longest time was one of their highest rated shows,
Speaker 1: and that I would always tell people it was because
Speaker 1: of me, but it was apparently nothing else was ever
Speaker 1: on after that. It wasn't until like their super Bowl
Speaker 1: episode that for some reason that that sort of stayed
Speaker 1: up there. But yeah, you do an episode of sign
Speaker 1: for when like the show I did for MTV for
Speaker 1: six years, when our first two years we were there
Speaker 1: number one show in the world's seventy two countries, and people,
Speaker 1: would you know, they'd recognize me. The day after the
Speaker 1: Seinfeld episode aired, I was in Hollywood for a cast
Speaker 1: physical for shows doing in Vancouver and I got recognized
Speaker 1: walking out of the doctor's office to my car. Some
Speaker 1: guy yelled and called me a membo. I said, it's
Speaker 1: the difference between the power of network television and the
Speaker 1: number one show on television and basic cable percent. And
Speaker 1: that's why I interrupted you before, because if you were
Speaker 1: to say step off to somebody right now, that is
Speaker 1: exactly where their mind will go. They're like, oh, step off.
Speaker 1: Oh I gotta make some people of sandwiches. They'll stot
Speaker 1: just rattling off random lines from that episode, and then
Speaker 1: those two words, which is why it's a perfect title.
Speaker 1: Those two words bring people straight to that well. And
Speaker 1: the weird thing with that too was they had they
Speaker 1: had a line because I've been given credit for writing
Speaker 1: that line step off. I didn't write it. I didn't
Speaker 1: go to Larry David and say I want to a
Speaker 1: line change. It was the guy in the audience. They
Speaker 1: had a joke that wasn't landing, and then they were
Speaker 1: trying to come up with something. So then Larry asked me,
Speaker 1: he goes, you were like twenty three, you work on MTV.
Speaker 1: What do you what would kids your age say? And
Speaker 1: I don't even that was like the second or third
Speaker 1: thing I said that I said was step off. And
Speaker 1: then Jason Alexander said it with his George Costanza you
Speaker 1: know New York accent, and the crew laughed. So then
Speaker 1: Larry was like, yeah, just say step off. That works. Wow,
Speaker 1: these these little stories are so cool awesome. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: all I got. Those are the only two stories I got.
Speaker 1: It's only four bags, dude. One quick question, because I've
Speaker 1: I've been asked about possibly doing a book. Um, and
Speaker 1: had a conversation about it, and off, do you think
Speaker 1: that's good? Um? What did you learn about yourself in
Speaker 1: doing the book? Oh so much? And I'm not just
Speaker 1: saying that it's you should do it. If you have
Speaker 1: the opportunity to do it, you should do it, because
Speaker 1: you know, you make your notes. Here's okay, here's what
Speaker 1: I want the book to be. Here's what But it
Speaker 1: sort of takes a life of its own. And um,
Speaker 1: as I said, it's it's anecdotal stories about my life,
Speaker 1: where I where I came from, and who I've become.
Speaker 1: But it it almost, at least for me, almost took
Speaker 1: on a spiritual thing in the third portion of the
Speaker 1: book for me and talking about parenthood and my life
Speaker 1: and and who I've become now. And I didn't really
Speaker 1: initially plan on that to me, um, when I first
Speaker 1: started out writing the book, but I sort of you
Speaker 1: got into this and saw what journey it was taking
Speaker 1: me on. So you know, if nothing else, I mean,
Speaker 1: even if you're not going to publish it, do it
Speaker 1: because you learn a lot of stuff about yourself. If
Speaker 1: you're gonna be completely honest with the readers and yourself
Speaker 1: to write it, um. And I think that's the only
Speaker 1: way to do it, because then if not, then you're
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, well what stories should I right now?
Speaker 1: And you're trying to be um, but you know it's
Speaker 1: to me too. I in reading a book that you
Speaker 1: would write, I'd want to hear all those stories that
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear about when you scored a
Speaker 1: game winning goal and oh then we what did you know?
Speaker 1: You want to hear all those other nuances that people
Speaker 1: wouldn't know about. And um, sook a little bit that
Speaker 1: I've dug into it. It is and I've done I've
Speaker 1: done presentations for sportsmen's dinners and stuff like that. When
Speaker 1: I do the presentations of like my hockey journey. Um,
Speaker 1: there's certain things that I learned that I never knew
Speaker 1: just in like you said, taking little segments of your life,
Speaker 1: and when you line these up, you're like the first
Speaker 1: one I did, I'm like, holy, I learned I was
Speaker 1: I was responsible for very little of my success. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. The people that have
Speaker 1: touched my life from the age of thirteen, fifteen seventeen,
Speaker 1: nineteen twenty four, all of these people down this list
Speaker 1: have all elevated me in some way that I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not anywhere without all of these people, Like I'm
Speaker 1: responsible for ten percent of my success. So in doing
Speaker 1: your journey, if even and somebody to even just encouraged
Speaker 1: me to do it. A friend encouraged me to do it.
Speaker 1: Sit down and write your book to understand yourself, and
Speaker 1: then if you want to publish it or you want
Speaker 1: to do something with it, do it. But just the
Speaker 1: process of sitting down to write that you'll really find
Speaker 1: a lot and learn a lot about yourself. So that's
Speaker 1: why I asked that questions you should and you touch
Speaker 1: upon people that are responsible for it. I even get
Speaker 1: to that in the book where it's my brother, My
Speaker 1: oldest brother, he's ten years older than me, went out
Speaker 1: one night. He likes to go out as much as
Speaker 1: any everybody, but doesn't. He's more of the like, I'll
Speaker 1: stay home, doesn't really drink. That one out one night
Speaker 1: when I was still in high school, to a bar
Speaker 1: he'd never been in before in our hometown and hasn't
Speaker 1: been in since, and saw a guy he went to
Speaker 1: high school with. That guy said, what's going on with
Speaker 1: the family? He said, Oh, Dan's a quarterback for the
Speaker 1: high school. He goes, oh, I'm a graduate assistant coach
Speaker 1: at University North Carolina. Haven't sent a tap there. I
Speaker 1: send the tate the University of North Carolina. I get recruited.
Speaker 1: I got a University of North Carolina. My senior year
Speaker 1: in North Carolina, I meet a producer from MTV because
Speaker 1: Janet Jackson was in concert there. I keep that guy's card.
Speaker 1: I moved to l A after graduation. Call that guy.
Speaker 1: He hooks me up with a person in l A
Speaker 1: working for MTV. That in turn, I start working as
Speaker 1: a p A at MTV. I'd hand in the treatment
Speaker 1: for MTV Sports. I'm the host of MTV Sports the Resident,
Speaker 1: and I always saw my brother. I'm like, if you
Speaker 1: never went to that bar that night and saw Phil, Like,
Speaker 1: what journey? What would have happened with me? You know,
Speaker 1: entire journey culminated with being on the How Men Think podcast?
Speaker 1: Exactly if your brother doesn't go to the bar, we're
Speaker 1: not sitting here today. That's right, that's right, we are.
Speaker 1: We are the cherry on top. I can tell you Dan,
Speaker 1: when you said it's a it's a journey of self exploration,
Speaker 1: exploration Brooke. I mean, you couldn't pick better keywords for Brooks.
Speaker 1: His eyes lit up as soon as we sign off.
Speaker 1: Now he's gonna take out his typewriter, slacking all the
Speaker 1: thing started. But I'm telling Dmitri the fact that you
Speaker 1: even said typewriter is beautiful. I did that on purpose.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make fun of you for being in
Speaker 1: like a log cabin. Uh. Dan, I appreciate your time
Speaker 1: on your insight. Thank you so much, Thanks so much.
Speaker 1: Where can our community find you? Where do you spend
Speaker 1: most times social social media at Dan Cortez on Instagram
Speaker 1: and Twitter. Um, you can go. I have a website.
Speaker 1: This you guys appreciate this. The website, though, is the
Speaker 1: Dan core Tes dot com. Not didn't Cortes dot com
Speaker 1: not because it's not available. It is. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to pay grand for it, so that Dan Cortes. I'm
Speaker 1: paying a dollar ninety nine a month for the damn
Speaker 1: Cortes that I told you I'd give it to you
Speaker 1: for twenty there like a big deal when you have
Speaker 1: the in front of it, you know, or just I'm
Speaker 1: saving a hell of a lot of money, So I'm
Speaker 1: doing that instead but yeah, I'm on the social there
Speaker 1: and then you know, order the book on Amazon where
Speaker 1: everybody you can go through the website. But I'm pretty active,
Speaker 1: you know. But it's funny because I've had people even
Speaker 1: talk to me about my Instagram go, yeah, it's dude,
Speaker 1: really exciting to post pictures of your baby and your
Speaker 1: kids and your wife and sunsets. I'm like, yeah, what
Speaker 1: are you supposed to? No selfies? Are you know? No selfies?
Speaker 1: I got nothing, nothing really good? What do you say
Speaker 1: though that the book? I'm like, I'm telling people the
Speaker 1: book is like you're gonna learn a lot about Dan
Speaker 1: reading it and cool stories like that, but it's it's
Speaker 1: it's actually more than that. And as he was saying,
Speaker 1: like the self exploration and stuff like that, you're gonna
Speaker 1: learn stuff about yourself and you're gonna you're gonna think.
Speaker 1: It's gonna make you think about other things. It's not
Speaker 1: just I want to read about Dan or I don't
Speaker 1: want to. There's a lot in it um and so
Speaker 1: I yeah, I recommend it to anybody, but I appreciate
Speaker 1: that de Maitri And you know what, truthfully to that
Speaker 1: was important for me was I didn't want to write.
Speaker 1: It's not a tell all. I don't want to write
Speaker 1: a book just about me. I even told them. I
Speaker 1: want to write something that I hopefully think readers can
Speaker 1: relate to and sort of see their own lives within
Speaker 1: it and maybe see similarities there with certain things they're
Speaker 1: going through. So thank you. I appreciate that super cool
Speaker 1: books called step Off. Grab a copy for it. Um
Speaker 1: My man, I appreciate you. We'd love to have you back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh, I wanna just hear more from you at
Speaker 1: another time about co hosting and host hosting. We'll talk
Speaker 1: about that. But we also need to have Dr Neil back.
Speaker 1: And we should have asked him about having sex on
Speaker 1: the first date. Come on, he did it. He did
Speaker 1: it for sure, Yeah, totally, he's a doctor. Come on,
Speaker 1: one of those e er stories, are you kidding? As
Speaker 1: soon as he dropped, as soon as he dropped a
Speaker 1: clooney nuggets, Yeah, it's done deal. I appreciate all of
Speaker 1: you guys and our listeners. I appreciate all of you
Speaker 1: guys as well. That Brooks. I'll come help you with
Speaker 1: your book as soon as I'm writing a book. From
Speaker 1: the opinion from the view of Rick's Big Toe so
Speaker 1: when I'm done with that, I'll come up to where
Speaker 1: you're having. Yeah, have you seen Rick. He's been laid
Speaker 1: back in that chair the whole time. On the guys,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, Dan, I appreciate you. I love to
Speaker 1: have you back on some time, my friend. So until
Speaker 1: next week, everybody, take care of one another, love one another,
Speaker 1: and we'll see you back here for another episode of
Speaker 1: How Many