WEBVTT - First Night Stand 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.240 This is How Men Think? And Gavin de grab and 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:09.240 I heard radio podcast. Welcome to another episode of How 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:12.360 Men Think. My name is brooks Like and I am 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:17.560 joined by three gracious co hosts today, two men from 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:20.440 the show and then one gracious co host who's actually 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:23.760 probably got more co hosting abilities than probably anybody I know. 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:27.880 Um what three co hosts today we have with us 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:31.520 Rick and Dmitri, the men of How Men Think? Good sirs, 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:34.479 how are you hello? Good good? How are you doing? That? 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:36.440 Looks that looks like a wonderful painting that you have 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:39.520 in the back there you've been just kind of throw 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:42.320 it over my shoulder and what happened? One of those? 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:47.839 Just all and then call it arts? Thank you? Um Dmitri, 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.279 how are you doing? Brother? I'm doing well, thank you. 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:52.800 I came down. I came down to the try to 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:54.280 give it a little more of a manly field that 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:56.640 I say. I got a work bench behind me, even 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:59.040 brought out the drill. I see the drill. Yeah yeah, 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:01.000 I rented all that for this. And then it has 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:07.800 to go back in about an hour received and then 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:12.120 we have a special guest with us today. He is 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:15.360 I actually kind of want to learn from him from 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:18.840 on how to co host a show? Um, if you 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:21.440 have a television, you have seen this man all over 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:25.520 it for sure an actor a host? Um man, I 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:27.520 could I'm looking at your bio here we have Dan 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:32.080 Cortes with us. Yeah, welcome. I don't have I don't 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:34.240 have a work bench and Dmitri, how about if I 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:35.840 just put the pencil behind my does that look like 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.039 let's do like, let's do two to three quarters? That 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:42.000 that works for me? Okay, And as far as anybody 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:43.880 can tell from now, you have a tool belt on, 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:46.880 we just do that's and that's all I'm wearing from 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:48.880 the way. So it's just a tool belt. And I 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:51.240 just don't have the accolades that you have in your 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:54.080 background to sign jerseys, to sign football, I don't have 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.040 that stuff. So I had to rent this. You know 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:58.960 what's great is none of that's mine. It's everybody else's signature. 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:01.800 It's not mine, So it's any words. Indeed, like I 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:03.720 when you popped on there, I was just like, that's 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:05.720 kind of what I want my home office to look like. 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:08.320 There you like a book with my face on it? 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:10.680 Like I see your book right there? Hey, I should 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:13.000 have saved it that that's my new book. But when 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.919 I initially started promoting the book, the publishers had kept 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:18.560 telling me like you needed why don't you have the 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:21.080 book and in the background of anything book because you 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:24.240 haven't sent me any So I literally took my older 0:02:24.280 --> 0:02:28.760 son's NBA two K xbox game, printed out a piece 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.000 of paper that had the book ever and taped it 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:33.040 to it and would sit it back there and just 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:35.079 tell Pep it was the book. Yeah, awesome. Well dude, 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:37.120 we're gonna get more into that book. But Um, I 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.160 want to get to your opinion. So Dan's coming on 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:45.320 as a respected gentleman UM who has some insight for us. 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:47.079 We had a Dan last week. We had a hot 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:51.000 topic on the how men thinks showing and uh Dmitri 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.919 and uh Rick weren't with us. Ryan was with us, 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:59.840 but producer Tory, our lovely producer, Um opened up about 0:02:59.840 --> 0:03:04.440 her dating life and ask the question about should people 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:07.639 hook up on the first date? Yeah, should they hook 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:09.639 up on the first date? Is that frowned upon from 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:12.280 a guy's standpoint if the woman does that? Or is 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:15.320 it me you mean you're being a little churchgoer here? 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:18.360 You mean hook up as in have sex, go all 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:21.919 the way. Yeah, yeah, I guess I guess we should 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:26.600 clarify what um so the hell men think community has 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:29.440 just exploded. There's a wild debate going on right now. 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:34.080 Some people say yes, some people say no. Some people say, um, 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:37.840 they that yes, they absolutely judge somebody for going that 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:40.000 far on the first date. But I want to get 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:44.120 your guys opinions on this um As a gentleman going 0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:46.600 out on a date, first date with the lady, Dan 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:49.080 will lead with you, what are you looking for on 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:53.200 a first date? And would you even pursue? Be honest? Brother, 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:57.800 be honest with you, would you even pursue physical conto 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:02.600 physical intimacy on the first date? Okay, being honest. If 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:05.640 you're a guy and you're attracted to someone, obviously that 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.440 is in your mind somewhere. It's it's not like you go, hey, 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:12.080 I'm really attracted to as a person. I hope it 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:16.400 doesn't go any further now. I I also think though, 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:19.680 the first thing I look for on any first date 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:22.159 is if there's any sort of compatibility. Now, if there's 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:25.480 no compatibility, then you don't that doesn't cross your mind. 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:28.240 But if you if there's some sort of compatibility. There, 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:31.720 you're getting along, she's laughing at my dumb jokes. I 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:33.960 think this is great. Then obviously that will start to 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.960 any guy's mind. It's gonna cross your mind. I mean, 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:40.000 I mean, and you guys know it crosses your mind 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:43.039 to meet. You don't say no, you know it does. No, No, 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:45.160 it crosses your mind for sure. But what you're not 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:47.520 You're going up to the pool, but you're not jumping in. 0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:51.160 The question is would you judge a woman not? It's 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:53.400 not does a guy I want to have sex? Yes? 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:56.520 He does, So I'll say when I was younger, I 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:59.280 used to think that was something I wasn't interested. I 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:01.800 would think if a girl wanted to, you know, was 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.279 having sex on the first date with me, then clearly 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:06.560 she would have sex with somebody else on the first date. 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:09.280 So when I was younger, I would think that that 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.160 bothered me. But I've I've grown older, and I've matured, 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:14.960 and I've realized that, you know, but sured as much 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:19.680 as I probably can, and I've realized that there's so 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:23.240 much more to relationships than that. So to judge somebody 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:25.680 on feeling their way through life just doesn't make sense. 0:05:26.040 --> 0:05:28.839 So I actually have a lot of friends or quite 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:30.520 a group of friends that have that did it on 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:33.160 the first date and are happily married with kids for 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:36.159 for for a long time. So the question is what 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:39.240 I judge them? No, in the past, I may have, 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:42.040 but I don't think that should be a deal break. Okay, wait, 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:43.880 so the question was do you judge the woman not? 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:47.560 Does it cross my mind both both? Like if you're 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:49.720 going out on a date, like, let's be honest here, 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:53.560 So if I'm going on on a date, like you're 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.000 you're wanting to be physical with this person, that's probably 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:57.520 why you're going on a date with them. You're not 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:59.960 going on on a date with somebody you're not physically attract. 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:04.760 But are you trying to lead the night in that direction? 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:09.120 Or are you are you respectfully keeping a physical distance 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:12.520 in like honoring getting to know somebody, wanting to move 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:14.800 it in the physical element, like wanting to have sex 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:17.680 with this person, but down the road tonight is just 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:19.800 about seeing if our chemistry is on and if I 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:22.080 really like you, Well, I don't think I don't think 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:25.320 you should try and lead a date whatsoever. I think 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:28.480 you just gotta see where it goes. You shouldn't go 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:31.520 into it with a predetermined notion of, Hey, I'm really 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:33.560 attracted to her. I'm gonna start, I'm gonna throw a 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.120 few feelers out there. I'm gonna say this and see 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:39.080 if she responds in a certain way or not. I'm 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:42.040 more of the like mind of, hey, let's just see 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.880 where the night takes us and and if you get along. 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:48.080 But I'm also with Dmitri. I think it's when I 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:50.560 was younger, I agreed the same thing. It was, Oh jeesus, 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:52.560 she's gonna sleep with me on the first day. Who 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:54.599 else has she slept with on the first date? But 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:57.680 then the same thing as you get older and I 0:06:57.720 --> 0:06:59.839 don't know about wiser, but you just get older and 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:02.039 so have been around a little bit, you, you know, 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:04.080 before it gets to that point, if there's some sort 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:06.760 of connection with this person. I appreciate that you kind 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:09.160 of made a similarity between us, Dan, but I guarantee 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:10.800 there's women that would have sex with you on the 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:12.400 first date that would not have sex with me on 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:15.880 the first day. So appreciate question. I have a question, 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.880 were you guys really thinking about that when you were younger? 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:21.800 Like m I wonder what she's going to think about 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:25.040 and I'm gonna do this, and you know, what's she 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:28.040 going to think? It wasn't I'm going to do this, 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.600 and what's gonna think? My my? In my perfect world. 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:32.480 When I was younger, I was a bit of a 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:35.200 romantic and I wanted to like if I was if 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:37.520 it was somebody that I was interested in having relationship with, 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:39.720 my preference would have been to not do it on 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:42.800 the first date. But as I said, I've realized that 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:45.000 there's a lot when you're younger. There's a lot of 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:48.200 stuff that importance that you put on certain things that 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:50.560 really in life that it's not as big a deal 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.360 as you may be thinking. And that's your preference, not 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:58.200 what you could have been taught maybe by your parents. 0:07:57.720 --> 0:08:02.760 Just got deep that got yeah, that was good, Uh, 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:04.600 not what I saw. I don't think that I was 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:07.000 taught with my parents, but from my parents, like don't 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:09.040 do something on a first date. I think I was 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:12.280 taught to be a gentleman um so maybe that factors 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:17.240 into it somewhere. But yeah about your parents rick to 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:20.600 like respect and like obviously you're talking, I think what 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:25.800 were you taught like first night date ethics? No, definitely 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:28.440 not taught first night date date ethics. But I think 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:31.760 going into with what I was taught was be respectful, 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.880 be nice, you know, treat the woman very you know, 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:38.760 like a woman, and then you know, you know, then 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:41.840 figure out what's going on in terms of what's the 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:45.520 next move, right, I don't think I really I think 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:48.599 personally I would always try to depending on how the 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:50.559 date goes. I agree with Dan, you know, you just 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:52.400 kind of start putting your feelers out there and then 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:54.840 is it going good? And you know what's the next step? 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:57.200 You kissed? You, you know, you go to the bar 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:00.640 the next time or or whatever, but and then see 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:03.839 where that leads us. But um, I think going in 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:05.760 that was something the way that I was brought up, 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:08.720 and those were the things that that was telling me 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:12.080 inside to not go have sex the first time. That 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:16.360 makes sense. Yeah, So Dr Harrianna, you guys remember dr V. 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:21.480 DRV is wonderful And she commented on this post because 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:22.880 we had this, we shared this on her how Many 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:27.080 Things podcast community, and she said, if the chase is 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:31.680 after a lasting, loving, intimate relationship, then sleeping together soon 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:34.880 after meeting doesn't make a big difference. But if the 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:38.000 chase is after sex, then yes, of course it will 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:43.440 make a difference because the goal has been met. So, UM, 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:46.480 I agree with what Dmitri said, is I if I'm 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:48.960 going on a date, I'm going after the chase of 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:54.880 pursuing something longer term with this person. Um is how 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:57.360 I would look at it. So I actually, like Demetri said, 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:01.400 I actually I prefer it to be like maybe more 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:03.520 of a traditional guy and that I don't think I 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:06.440 would force it or even try to steer it that 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:10.800 way on night one. Um, just because in my own mindset, 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:12.960 to be truthfully honest, in my own mindset, I'm like, 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:14.840 just what you guys said, like how many other guys 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:17.240 have she slept with on date one? Or is this 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.480 is this the type of woman that I want to 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:23.160 end up with. I have a question. Let's say we're all, 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:25.200 you know, because we're all kind of on the same page. 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:27.280 What if you get to that point at the end 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:29.640 of the night and it's going around well and she 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:32.400 wants to take it. Would you, as a guy then 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:35.480 go no, no, no no, no, I don't feel real good 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:44.880 head first. Would you would you tell the lottery that 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:48.800 you have enough money? No? You would? Are you guys 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:51.240 being serious? I'll say, you really like this girl, would 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:56.760 you would you actually go for it? Or would you um? 0:10:56.880 --> 0:11:01.000 Would you out of respect and to maybe like with 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:03.320 your values or like be like, I don't want to 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.920 go there yet, you know, like you having a conversation 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.800 where they're during dinner or when you're meeting of how 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:12.040 many times have you had tex? Is that is that 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:17.600 a differentiator? You're like, Hey, you know, look, I think 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:19.760 if that's coming up, if you're having that conversation on 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:23.000 the first date, I'm out. I'm like, okay, I don't 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:28.400 want to be question. But then again, okay, let's be honest. 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:30.480 It says she's this gorgeous girl and you're and she 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:33.960 says to you know, every guy is gonna go really 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:40.000 it means double yeah, yeah, exactly, gonna Let's add here's 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.720 another on a show or where I heard it. But 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:44.800 it's like, if a girl tells you how many guys 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:48.800 she's been with you, multiply it by three. And for 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:50.679 a guy, if he tells you how many girls he's 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:54.000 been with you, divide it by three. You guys ever 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:57.559 heard that? Yeah, I could. I could see that I've 0:11:57.600 --> 0:11:59.560 done what I've done. What Dan is saying you know 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:01.480 you could a zero to mine, but you added to 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:06.240 the beginning, not to the end. Okay, So UM, last 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:08.040 touch point, last touch point on this because I want 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.520 to move on. Um, because we actually have another guest 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:14.200 coming in that's gonna help Rick with appending issue. Um. 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:18.920 But what do you think my lasting point on this is? Um? 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:22.040 I don't believe I would pursue it truthfully on night 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:27.200 one on a first date, UM, because my goal with 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:31.040 the date is not such to just have sex with 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:33.600 this person. My goal with the date would be to 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:36.720 discover the person, be curious about the person and about 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:40.800 what the possibility of of a partnership with this person 0:12:40.840 --> 0:12:44.280 could be. And so respectfully, I would keep a physical 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:46.520 distance and not try and lead it that way. And 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:50.280 that's just my personal preference. Um. Even though the person 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.680 might be insanely attractive and of course I want to 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:54.880 get there, I think I would probably pump the brakes 0:12:54.880 --> 0:13:00.280 on that for a couple of days. You guys, Yeah, 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:04.400 it's like you're idiot. Hey, Look, if I was a woman, 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:08.160 I date you, That's that's the kind of guide one 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:12.679 a date. UM. I just know I agree with you 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.160 to a certain extent, but I'm also like a hundred 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.280 years old. So I look at it this way. I 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:19.040 don't know if I got tomorrow coming, but I got 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:22.920 today right now. So what you said, I think it 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.920 has changed with the age too. Yeah, yeah, but definitely. 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.000 But to that point, see, I wouldn't pursue it. If 0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:31.280 there was a connection and we felt that way, then 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:33.320 I would probably I would probably do it. I mean, 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:35.720 look around, like I said before, they're they're bigger things 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:37.920 to to face. Life on the world around us is 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:39.480 burning right now. I don't think having sex on the 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:41.520 first date is the worst thing that someone can do anymore. 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:44.280 If you have that connection, fine, and if you find 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.520 out later that I was a mistake and that's not 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:48.360 somebody that you want to spend the rest of your 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.760 life with, then you adapt from that. But to go 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:52.920 in there saying this is this is a deal breaker. 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:55.000 I'm not doing it because it's only the first time. 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:59.720 This bigger fish tofright, I have one Look, but do 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.400 you think this is I mean, this is how many things? 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.000 But do you think it makes that big of a 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:10.360 difference to the woman if you were to back off 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.080 and in her mind, if she's thinking I want to 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:15.240 have sex with him, and you're like, no, is she 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.520 thinking that okay, I respect him? Or is she going 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:20.760 what's wrong with him? Um? Producer Tori, Tori, can you 0:14:20.800 --> 0:14:23.520 answer that question? So say, say you're on a date 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:26.120 with a guy to Tori and you're really vibing with 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:28.040 this guy, You're really into him, and you're like, dang, 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:30.320 I usually don't do this, but like, I'm really attracted 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:32.480 to this guy and you want to take it physical 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:36.240 that evening and he says, I'm just not comfortable with this. 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:39.800 I actually want to I love that you're attracted to me, 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:41.720 but like, I think we need a little more time 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:43.720 till we get to that stage. What are your thoughts 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:48.280 on this guy? Then? That's so hot? Really? Yeah, that's sexy. 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:50.760 Why is that? Because you gotta work for it and 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.680 it's like you got some some backbone in you and 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:56.360 you're not just like the guy that you just think 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:59.920 is the cookie cutter guy. Now what if what if 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.600 it doesn't make a difference. If he's doing that because 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:06.320 he truly believes that and he wants to cherish a relationship, 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:08.160 or is he doing that because that's kind of part 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:09.840 of his game and he knows it's going to be 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:13.840 real sexy to you. It doesn't matter. It's still sexy 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:17.640 unless it's like he's not attracted to you, then you 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.320 could kind of maybe go there. But I think it's hot. 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:26.920 I know I have friends who have who are this 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:28.400 is when I was younger too, This is like ten 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:31.240 years ago, who were just like when you were twelve, 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:36.360 who are just party as hell, and and they wanted 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:38.520 to get out of that kind of thing of like 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:42.360 pursuing sex on the first night where they would intentionally 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:48.280 not shave their bits so that they were like, oh, 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:50.560 I'm too embarrassed ab what was going on down there, 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:53.720 So again I just can't have sex tonight. So that 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:57.280 was there. That was there, Like governor, to stop having 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:01.800 sex on the first night, let me just say go ahead. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.760 I was just gonna say with then if if she asked, 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:08.320 why not, would they just be honest and say, because 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:15.480 I chose not to shave my bits. I don't even 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:18.280 know if it worked, funny enough. That's that's the that's 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:25.000 the original name of my autobiography called Unshaven Bits True. 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:30.200 By the way, well, Tori, we tried our best there. Uh. Also, 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.400 I also don't think you get any less horny or 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:35.600 the older you get. Let's just I totally agree with that. Yeah, 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:40.800 I mean like I don't care if years still for Yeah, 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:44.000 And the truth is to you and asked the first 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:46.240 time you said, does it even cross your mind? As 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.360 soon as you said that, my wife had just walked 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.840 out of the kitchen with the coffee, and it crossed 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:53.760 my mind. I have one more question I want to 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:56.080 ask you guys, So, if you're not looking for sex 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:58.920 in the first date, or maybe you are but doesn't 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:05.360 work out, in is the societally acceptable night to have 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:10.840 sex where there's no judgment, no connotations like how Saturday? Saturday? 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:17.239 How many? How many dating? Dating somebody? Um, according to 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:20.760 your world's in perspective, is like an agreeable number to 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:26.000 like to consummate physically, you know, to have sexual relations? 0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:30.800 Three three, It just seems like the right number. I 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:35.040 don't even do do people even still think about that? Like, 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:38.000 if you don't have sex on the first date, then 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:40.800 are you gonna say, all right, well, it's like I'm 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:43.800 gonna stop drinking. Okay, how many days I don't know, 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:45.320 But if you get to day two, that's like I 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.199 can do day three. So when do you finally go 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:50.720 like I need to at least wait. I think once 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:53.280 the first date is gone and you don't have sex, 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:55.480 then you just let the chips fall where they may. 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:58.680 I mean it's like, is it do you then go? Okay, 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.600 I've gotta wait until number eight, number five because do 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:05.359 you honestly think so much is going to occur and 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:12.359 those other three dates that will change something or I 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.080 don't know. I think if there's an attraction there and 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:17.280 you've already given it one shot with the first date, 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:21.639 then I think once you get past that first or 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:24.800 second then it's like, then, yes, what's the difference? What 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:27.399 what exactly are you counting to? And on the flip side, 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:29.360 you could get to a point where like, oh, it's 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:31.119 stay four and we haven't done it yet, and then 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.159 you start adding pressure onto it and then it's not 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:35.200 going to be you know, as fun or as natural 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:38.840 as it would be just to just to do it. Rick, 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.280 what are you thinking? Brother? I think the second date 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:43.719 is pretty legit. I agree with Dan though. I mean 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:46.000 it's like, who's really counting? I mean, if you do 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:49.440 the first date, cool, you set the groundwork. Now she's 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:54.240 after you again, and it's like, what you know, if 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:56.520 things are kicking off the right way, then to go ahead, 0:18:56.520 --> 0:18:58.800 for go for it. I see what you guys are saying, 0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:02.080 because there's also a component of like, if you guys 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:04.679 are vibing with each other, obviously there's enough of a 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:07.199 vibe that you're on a second date. And if you're 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:11.120 vibing with each other, you kind of know, like, hey, 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:13.359 whether it's date three or date six, like this is 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:16.879 probably gonna happen. Yeah, right, So doesn't matter, like you 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.520 were saying, demti doesn't matter if it's two, or doesn't 0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:23.400 matter if it's four. In in the scope of the relationship, 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:27.679 probably it doesn't matter anymore other than just telling the 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:29.760 story of what night you hooked up on, whether it 0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:31.960 was two or four. And who keep who are you 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:34.199 keeping a score for? The fact of the matter is, 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.320 if Date one bothers you, once you get to day two, 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:39.439 you've already agreed that you like each other enough to 0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:41.760 go out again, So then don't who you keep a 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:45.080 score for? Just let the chips fall. Date one bothers 0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:48.159 me truthfully Date one, That's what I mean though, But 0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:50.400 once you're past that, you've agreed that you that there's 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:54.120 something more there, so just let it on day two, three, four, 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:57.760 or five six? What if you go grab coffee? What 0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:00.400 if you go grab coffee and then go for that, 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:06.960 don't do it in a coffee shop. Now you're now 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:10.919 you're defining what the date is. So maybe maybe the 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:13.679 first date is let's grab coffee, finish the coffee, and 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.720 then I'll say tomorrow, and then okay, let's get thank you, 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:21.280 and then you're going to dinner that night. Yeah, it's 0:20:21.280 --> 0:20:24.440 a Kenny ban your situation. Soup isn't a meal. That's 0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:26.600 not a date. We had soup. That doesn't count his 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:31.240 date too. Um. Does anybody have any like horror stories 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:35.120 of first dates from the past they want to share? No, 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:39.520 I'm perfect. I mean that's pretty good. No. My my 0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:42.680 current wife, I mentioned, we've been together since our first date. 0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:46.680 We were like and haven't separated since our first date. 0:20:47.040 --> 0:20:50.280 That's awesome. So, Um, but that was we She lived 0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:51.959 in New York, I live in l A. We had 0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:54.280