Speaker 1: Get up, getto boys. It's back and reoaded all in
Speaker 1: your mind. Yeah, not deep throating. This is for the streets,
Speaker 1: the reel, the railroaded, the distant franchise, the truth, the scapegoating,
Speaker 1: and they ain't knowing we speak the truth, so they
Speaker 1: ain't quoted because we wrote it. The North South East
Speaker 1: coat is the gv MY for keeping your head bobbing.
Speaker 1: It ain't no stopping and wants to be trying to
Speaker 1: head by then the system is so corrupt they throw
Speaker 1: the rock out their heads and then blame it on us.
Speaker 1: Don't get it twisted on code and me and danceing
Speaker 1: for no buttament biscuits. It's Willie d y'all, scarfaces and recovery. Collectively,
Speaker 1: we are the ghetto boys, reloaded with another episode of
Speaker 1: information and instructions to help you navigate through this wild, crazy,
Speaker 1: beautiful world. In the studio, I guess the great then conquerable.
Speaker 1: Tamika Foster Raymond, thank you for having me. How are
Speaker 1: you hey? I'm trying to be expended issue you are
Speaker 1: or a quite interesting person? Uh, you got your hands full.
Speaker 1: Every time I look up, You've got something else going on,
Speaker 1: and it's not just anything it's big stuff you've got
Speaker 1: going on. Um, I noticed, uh that you have a
Speaker 1: somewhat of a connection with a good friend of mine,
Speaker 1: Houston's own, Eric Carr. How did you? And Eric caught me?
Speaker 1: Eric was actually, um gonna be my father in law
Speaker 1: for a while. Yeah, he was dating my ex husband's mom.
Speaker 1: It's a funny way that we met. He's now my
Speaker 1: ex husband. At the time, he looked, yeah, yeah, so
Speaker 1: Eric is a m Really he was a really great supporter. Um.
Speaker 1: He just always kind of had my back. I think
Speaker 1: we you know, real recognized as real, and he kind
Speaker 1: of saw my spirit and you know, and I saw
Speaker 1: his I thought he was very cool, so funny. He's
Speaker 1: a hilarious any funny. So I took to him. He's
Speaker 1: his big brother. He's definitely a big brother. He always
Speaker 1: looked out right right right. You grew up in Oakland.
Speaker 1: I love Oakland. I love the people. It's something about
Speaker 1: the people in Oakland. It's a certain sense of pride
Speaker 1: that comes with that. You know that that whole Bay
Speaker 1: area really you know, too short, it's a cool real
Speaker 1: super cool dude. You know, uh e forty did you
Speaker 1: know those guys personally? Well, let me tell you, too Short,
Speaker 1: we used to write the same bus to school. I
Speaker 1: mean he went to a different school, but it would
Speaker 1: stopped at his stop and he would be on the
Speaker 1: back of the bus and when people would come on,
Speaker 1: he's the guy that would join on everybody. Everybody on
Speaker 1: the bus. He had jokes, you know, he'd rap a bottom,
Speaker 1: he free style talk about him. Yeah, he would talk
Speaker 1: about girls on the bus city bus to school. Bus
Speaker 1: city bus. We used to be on the bust seven.
Speaker 1: We get fifty seven and I used to take it
Speaker 1: nice to remember, don't when he be on there talking
Speaker 1: loud or rapping. I would just hide because I said,
Speaker 1: don't get on me. I was skinny, you talk about me.
Speaker 1: So yeah, if too Short is definitely that's my buddy.
Speaker 1: We're cool. Still, Yeah, that's that's kind of odd to
Speaker 1: me to think of Short like that, because Short is
Speaker 1: kind of reserved duty. Anytime you see him out, he's reserved.
Speaker 1: But he's a rapper that talks mad shit right right right?
Speaker 1: Did you know mac jac mcdrey. I did not know him.
Speaker 1: I didn't know. I feel like I feel like he
Speaker 1: must have been younger. Yeah, I didn't know. I know
Speaker 1: of him, but I don't know. Yeah, he's Valeto though
Speaker 1: I think I think he's from Yeah, he's not open Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: right right. I'm Oakland through and through town business, town, business, period.
Speaker 1: And Oakland has a history of rod It's like like activists,
Speaker 1: that's you know, very very strong activists, and which brings
Speaker 1: me to something that I that's really dear to my heart, philanthropy,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's something that you're involved with heavily.
Speaker 1: You are a co founder of Oakland Oakland Natives Gives Yes,
Speaker 1: Oakland Natives Gives back. Um, my partners and I thought
Speaker 1: it was a huge problem. Truancy is a big problem
Speaker 1: in the city of Oakland. Um, the graduation rates and
Speaker 1: you know, keeping butts in in there in classrooms instead
Speaker 1: of on the street, big, big important thing for us.
Speaker 1: And um every year we do like giveaways. We give
Speaker 1: away thousands, I mean like ten thousand backpacks and school supplies,
Speaker 1: bus passes, choose everything, everything to get them prepared for
Speaker 1: the first week, first days of school, no excuses. And
Speaker 1: how long have you been doing that? This is our
Speaker 1: fourteenth year. Four year. Yeah, we we've missed a year
Speaker 1: of the giveaway because of the pandemic but um, Oakland
Speaker 1: Natives is an important cause. Usually this is something that
Speaker 1: I would do towards the end of the show, but
Speaker 1: I want to do that right now. How do people
Speaker 1: get involved with your foundation, especially people that want to contribute, Actually,
Speaker 1: that would be great. Um Oakland Natives is um, like
Speaker 1: I says, if I one C three based out of
Speaker 1: Oakland and they just can go to Oakland Natives Gifts
Speaker 1: back and they can definitely make donations that way, right,
Speaker 1: So tell me to Maka, how was it growing up
Speaker 1: in Oakland? Who is to make a growing up? And
Speaker 1: and how do you dream? How do you aspire to
Speaker 1: become who you are today? What? What? What put you
Speaker 1: on that path? You know? I always liken myself to
Speaker 1: a concrete rose, and that means that the environment around me,
Speaker 1: while it wasn't ideal, Um, I saw more for myself always.
Speaker 1: I had my father's family. Um they were I guess
Speaker 1: I would say they were very classy. They are very classy. Um.
Speaker 1: I have a aunt who's almost ninety eight who got
Speaker 1: me into fashion at an early age. She owned a
Speaker 1: boutique near the lake, and UM I worked in her boutique. UM,
Speaker 1: my mother's side, they're classy as well, but they were
Speaker 1: more southern. You know, that's your your grassroots, your you know,
Speaker 1: your your your Baptist background and all that stuff. That's
Speaker 1: where that comes from my mother's side. Um, so I
Speaker 1: had I think I was very grounded, um just from
Speaker 1: a goud perspective that was first and then just kind
Speaker 1: of refined part. I think came more from my I'd say,
Speaker 1: from my father's side. And that's where my fashion background
Speaker 1: comes from. Right now, you attended the Fashion Institute of
Speaker 1: Design and Merchandise. You're not just a stylist. You are
Speaker 1: a technician, Like this is what you do for real.
Speaker 1: You know, like there's a lot of people that are
Speaker 1: stylis and they're like, man, I got styled, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: oh con dress, you let me dress you what? But
Speaker 1: they don't really have the And I'm not saying it's
Speaker 1: a requirement, right, but to actually go to school for it,
Speaker 1: to study it, you know, it puts you on a
Speaker 1: different kind of level in my opinion. You know, like
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of like somebody that go to that
Speaker 1: that learns music, uh naturally versus someone who actually goes
Speaker 1: to school and studies the art of music, right, it's
Speaker 1: a little different, and you know, today, God is hard.
Speaker 1: I don't like to call myself a stylist anymore because
Speaker 1: it's it's a term that has been just kind of
Speaker 1: they've kind of used it and kind of ruined it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so everybody, you know, everybody that worked in the mall
Speaker 1: for three days will come out like I'm a stylist.
Speaker 1: Just like it's a little harder than that. You have
Speaker 1: to kind of get into the psychology of the artists,
Speaker 1: you know who, who are their demographic who are they
Speaker 1: trying to you know, what are they trying to portray?
Speaker 1: You know, what don't they like? You know, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of questions I asked. Before I shop for a
Speaker 1: person or before I design something for a person, I
Speaker 1: look at their body language, because you don't want clothes
Speaker 1: on a person that's wearing them. You want a person
Speaker 1: to wear the clothes and you don't want to close
Speaker 1: the overpower their personality. Yeah, there's more to it than
Speaker 1: just buying clothes and look good. And I noticed that's
Speaker 1: what everyone's doing. Okay, okay, okay. Uh client list very impressive.
Speaker 1: Petdal Libel nas jay Z, Lauren Hill, who you eventually married,
Speaker 1: How did that come to be? How do you how
Speaker 1: do you go from styling for somebody, dressing somebody to
Speaker 1: actually forging a romantic relationship because you know, as a stylist,
Speaker 1: you're a bit of a psychologist, you kind of because
Speaker 1: you're getting into the heads of your client and your
Speaker 1: Sometimes they talk to you about stuff that's going on
Speaker 1: in their life. You know, you become a friend. You
Speaker 1: really my clients, most of them will tell you, I'm
Speaker 1: very opinionated. Um, I'm pretty wise, I'd say I think.
Speaker 1: They'd say um, and they would run. They bounced different
Speaker 1: things off of me that's going on in their life
Speaker 1: or in their business. They talked to me about it. Um.
Speaker 1: So in addition to styling, they start to talk to me,
Speaker 1: you know, and say, you know, I'm going through this,
Speaker 1: or like you know, in our case, we talked about
Speaker 1: our friendship, you know, just different people were dating, or
Speaker 1: my marriage when I was married at the time. So yeah,
Speaker 1: we became friends best friends, right, and then at one
Speaker 1: point it moves from a working relationship to a intimate
Speaker 1: and intimate relations romantic, well romantic and then at some
Speaker 1: point intimate. But that ain't that that goes what I say.
Speaker 1: We got to talk about all. But but at what point,
Speaker 1: who says, hey, I want more? Who does that? First?
Speaker 1: You know, I was, I was UM in a shaky
Speaker 1: marital situation. I was about to break up my husband
Speaker 1: and I was talking to him about it, and he
Speaker 1: was like, you gotta get counseling. He was encouraging me
Speaker 1: not to break up. And once it was really finally over,
Speaker 1: he was like, if you're serious and you really and
Speaker 1: you're not living with him anymore, and you're gonna go
Speaker 1: on about your way, we're gonna go out. And actually,
Speaker 1: like really, you know, I thought he was a little
Speaker 1: young and he had, you know, obviously some growing to do.
Speaker 1: He was a little annoying as a client at times, UM,
Speaker 1: and I took him up on you know, I took
Speaker 1: him up on offer, and we went out. We went
Speaker 1: on a vacation and then it just turned into first
Speaker 1: date was a vacation kind of Look, our first real
Speaker 1: date was a vacation. I mean we traveled. I mean
Speaker 1: obviously we were on tour and stuff, so we were
Speaker 1: together a little bit more than vacation. But our first official,
Speaker 1: like we're gonna try to do this kind of date
Speaker 1: was a vacation, went to ask him, So, let's back
Speaker 1: up a little bit, how do you enter into the
Speaker 1: fashion world like and start I know you went to
Speaker 1: school and everything, but how do you transition and start
Speaker 1: getting paid to stop? Um? I was on I was young,
Speaker 1: I was living in l A. And I was kind
Speaker 1: of on the club scene, just kind of hanging out,
Speaker 1: you know, doing a normal Saturday night, Friday night parties
Speaker 1: at the Palladium and wherever, and um, you know you
Speaker 1: always see the same group of guys and girls when
Speaker 1: you go out. And there was a guy named Todd
Speaker 1: Russo he Um, I was working for Michael Bivins. And
Speaker 1: when you when you say palladium, which l L because
Speaker 1: you know we have a palladium in Houston, wasn't you know?
Speaker 1: I asked, was better? But go ahead? You know, got
Speaker 1: l A l A palladium. Um. So we would go
Speaker 1: out to the clubs in l A and be able
Speaker 1: to that's when stuff was open late, and go to
Speaker 1: Larry Parker's hanging out on Beverly Drive. Larry Parkers was
Speaker 1: spot and so anyway he would say, man, I love
Speaker 1: your style, like just my regular party style like this
Speaker 1: was Todd. So Todd worked for Michael Bivns, which he
Speaker 1: had a label called bif ten Records, in a group
Speaker 1: called Subways seven oh two. He hired me to style them,
Speaker 1: and so he said, we have a video coming up,
Speaker 1: a new new group, and I want you to put
Speaker 1: your whole style on these girls. And I was like,
Speaker 1: how do I do that? How does one going about that?
Speaker 1: So I, um, I just went shopping and I met
Speaker 1: I met with the girls. They drove from Vegas. They
Speaker 1: were called seven o two. They came to l A
Speaker 1: and I met with them. And I didn't know the
Speaker 1: first thing about styling per se, but I knew how
Speaker 1: to dress someone like myself. And I met with the
Speaker 1: girls and they had me. They flew me to New
Speaker 1: York and I just thought, you guys are gonna pay
Speaker 1: me to do something I would do for free. And
Speaker 1: I always say when you, when I speak to children
Speaker 1: and young people, I say, always choose a career you
Speaker 1: do for free, and then you never work a day
Speaker 1: in your life. So um, they flew me to New York.
Speaker 1: That was my first time in New York. And I
Speaker 1: did a video called This Little Game We Play that
Speaker 1: was Subway in seven o two. His first video and um.
Speaker 1: I ended up doing their clothing in their makeup because
Speaker 1: they had a makeup artist and the girls came in.
Speaker 1: It was like, we hate our makeup. Oh this is horrible.
Speaker 1: Was their first video, and it was my first video,
Speaker 1: and I was like, don't worry, don't cry. I got
Speaker 1: you and I fixed their little makeup and they were
Speaker 1: happy and we shot the video and it came out
Speaker 1: and word of mouth. It was word of mouth through motown.
Speaker 1: I started doing like Eric read em c Brains. I
Speaker 1: styled a lot of their artists, and then it went
Speaker 1: over to Warner Brothers and I started doing something for
Speaker 1: the people and Eric Bonet and all those new artists
Speaker 1: back then, and just word of mouth. It was like
Speaker 1: a snowball effect. Then I took me over the m
Speaker 1: c A. Then Little Silas hired me to do Jesse Powell,
Speaker 1: and then I started doing Patti LaBelle and then my
Speaker 1: clients just went up and up and up, and then
Speaker 1: Lauren Hill, you know, and it went on and it
Speaker 1: was a snowball. I started working with everybody shock a
Speaker 1: con and at what point you get to to to
Speaker 1: where you say, I'm not even oppressed with this anymore,
Speaker 1: you know. I can style anybody, you know, because in
Speaker 1: the beginning, I'm sure like you, all of these people
Speaker 1: that you normally see on television, you know, you're right
Speaker 1: there having conversations with them, and you're shopping for them,
Speaker 1: you're talking to them, you're you're styling them, and you know,
Speaker 1: you you know, you're right there, you know, on their level.
Speaker 1: And at some point, you know, you become to Meka Foster,
Speaker 1: you become your everybody's looking at Tamika right at what
Speaker 1: point did you ever get to that point where you saying,
Speaker 1: you know, hey, uh, I need to you know, push
Speaker 1: my brand more now, you know, because it's you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's still a struggle. Um. Now, I'm very
Speaker 1: personal in an intimate setting or like a dinner with
Speaker 1: my friends, but I never wanted to be in front
Speaker 1: of the camera. Um, this is a nervous even now,
Speaker 1: Like I'm I'm a little nervous, like like I'm just
Speaker 1: nervous in front of the camera. I don't think this
Speaker 1: is really where I'm supposed to be in front of
Speaker 1: the camera. But um, I always said I need to
Speaker 1: do my own clothing line. I felt like I was,
Speaker 1: um kind of wasting so many designs you know, people say, hey,
Speaker 1: design me a look for my video or or like
Speaker 1: you know, and Lauren and the Fuji's, Hey do our
Speaker 1: tour designed the looks for that. And I would make
Speaker 1: all these nice outfits for an award show, and I
Speaker 1: was like, God, I could have produced, mass produced these
Speaker 1: and made a million of these and made millions of dollars.
Speaker 1: But that's I never thought pushed myself as far as
Speaker 1: being in front of the scene. I always wanted to
Speaker 1: be behind the scenes. But you have your own line now.
Speaker 1: I have Eli Kish and I have Eli Kish is
Speaker 1: my son that passed away. His name is Kyle Ishmael,
Speaker 1: so Eli Kish is a play on his name, on
Speaker 1: the words and the letters of his name and some
Speaker 1: loungewere when we all got stuck in the house during
Speaker 1: the pandemic, I said, I need to make clothes at
Speaker 1: are transitional, Like you can just be at home doing
Speaker 1: zoom calls and then if someone wants to go to
Speaker 1: dinner or you need to run and go get some
Speaker 1: toilet paper during the shortage, you have on a cute
Speaker 1: dress or something you can just kind of run out.
Speaker 1: So I made a lady's um kind of Loungewere Um
Speaker 1: collection and then UM I have UM Cult de Jore,
Speaker 1: which are these military inspired jackets, their vintage and they're
Speaker 1: all adorned with patches and everything, and so um I
Speaker 1: kind of have two small boutique lines that I'm I'm
Speaker 1: happy doing that. How do you want to take that?
Speaker 1: You know, I don't really wish to be in boutiques
Speaker 1: or like major department stores. I kind of like it
Speaker 1: being um a small line. I like. I like exclusivity,
Speaker 1: so I like things that are not easy to obtain.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see every girl walking down the
Speaker 1: street and what I have, so um Eli Kish I
Speaker 1: like for it to be small, but I'd like for
Speaker 1: it to grow, go into more collections, more seasons. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have this uh animation series that was also named
Speaker 1: after Kyle. You're determined to keep his name alive, aren't you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: You're you're determined. You know, it's it's beautiful to see
Speaker 1: that type of love coming from a mother, you know. Um,
Speaker 1: you know it's one thing too to have that his
Speaker 1: memories to yourself, and you said, no, I'm gonna share
Speaker 1: with the world. You know, I'm gonna make sure that
Speaker 1: the world no who this boy was, you know, like
Speaker 1: he was special. And I saw an interview where you
Speaker 1: he was talking about him, and I think it was
Speaker 1: on the on Tamras show Tamra Hall, and you said
Speaker 1: that he had fulfilled this kind track. So to speak
Speaker 1: with the world, can you explaind on that. I believe
Speaker 1: that from the time we're born, from a time we're born,
Speaker 1: God already hasn't written what's going to happen in our lives.
Speaker 1: I think you know, from the time I came from
Speaker 1: my mother's womb, I was gonna eventually do all the
Speaker 1: things I did. I was gonna work in fashion, I
Speaker 1: was gonna love style. I was gonna be probably the
Speaker 1: spirit animal of my aunt Sadie, which I think I am.
Speaker 1: She's ve um. And God knows what I'm gonna die.
Speaker 1: He already knows. I don't know. We don't know. So
Speaker 1: I feel that our lives are predestined. And I think
Speaker 1: because I believe that, I believe that about everybody. The
Speaker 1: same goals. From my son Kyle his time, he had
Speaker 1: eleven years on this planet, um and something you know,
Speaker 1: of course, I vacillate with my ideas about that. UM.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I say, if just this hadn't happened differently, This
Speaker 1: hadn't happened differently, he'd still be here. But my faith
Speaker 1: tells me no. Had he been with me, we could
Speaker 1: have been at home, but ceiling could have fallen in.
Speaker 1: If it was his time to go, I think he
Speaker 1: was gonna go. So when I say he filled a contract,
Speaker 1: I hate. I hate that it happened at age eleven.
Speaker 1: I hate it. I cried. I cried on the plane
Speaker 1: on the way here, listening to a song Beyonce. I
Speaker 1: was here. I listened to that song and I'll break down. Um,
Speaker 1: but I believe that to be true. So that has
Speaker 1: given me comfort that he's made an impact. But I
Speaker 1: just feel that there was things he wanted to do.
Speaker 1: He said it very distinctly to me. I want to
Speaker 1: be an actor. I want to be on Nickelodeon. I
Speaker 1: want to be on Disney. I want to be on TV. Mom.
Speaker 1: He said that to me before he passed. So it's
Speaker 1: my honor, it's my duty to see it come to fruition. Um.
Speaker 1: I think that he wanted he wanted an animal, he
Speaker 1: wanted to be in animation. You wanted to be on cartoons,
Speaker 1: or you wanted to be on a television show. So
Speaker 1: I'm going to create one, right, right, our lives are predestined,
Speaker 1: our fate has already been decided. Well, we're gonna be
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do. It's already in God's hands. Your words,
Speaker 1: that's exactly right. I heard that. I was like, this
Speaker 1: woman is something else. Man. I like her. I like
Speaker 1: your spirit. You got a good spirit. Thank you. That's good.
Speaker 1: That's good. And at you. But if I had a
Speaker 1: mama like that, I ain't gonna ain't gonna do that.
Speaker 1: I do don't do that, an don't do it. But
Speaker 1: but you know, it took time for me to learn
Speaker 1: to be this person. Yeah, that's that's something else to
Speaker 1: see that, see that type of Twenty years ago, I
Speaker 1: would have not said this. I would have been mad
Speaker 1: at the world. Um. When I started writing, I was mad.
Speaker 1: I was so angry. Um. I started writing my book
Speaker 1: of Somewhat as a diary, just kind of journaling with
Speaker 1: how I was feeling about different stuff and the space
Speaker 1: I was in when I started writing it. Oh, I
Speaker 1: was mad at the world. I was blaming everybody in
Speaker 1: the book. My words were just mad and it was
Speaker 1: ship and damn and I was cursing, and I was
Speaker 1: amiss and I put it down. And and also being
Speaker 1: from Oakland, you know we lived by a kind of
Speaker 1: a street code, right, So street code until you shot
Speaker 1: somebody before you started writing. I had the potential. I
Speaker 1: definitely had it in me to do so, No, I
Speaker 1: did not, right, that's my boy, Swayze is my homie.
Speaker 1: But um, no, street code is we don't tell. I
Speaker 1: don't care what happens around us, what we see. We
Speaker 1: keep our mouths closed. So it's kind of a really
Speaker 1: dumb and backwards mentality because you victims just don't. They
Speaker 1: just stay victims. They don't get to talk about it.
Speaker 1: They don't tell. So I wrote things down and I
Speaker 1: was like, nope, nope, no, we're not gonna do that.
Speaker 1: So I stopped writing. And then when my unpassed two
Speaker 1: years later, after my divorce and everything, I started writing again,
Speaker 1: just my feelings about what happened to him and just
Speaker 1: mad at God. So the book originally was called Mad
Speaker 1: at God. That's how mad it was. Now it's a
Speaker 1: chapter in my book. We got a chapter when I
Speaker 1: realized I wasn't mad enough for a whole book. I
Speaker 1: wasn't mad. How can you write twenty chapter mad at God,
Speaker 1: mess around, lightning strikes, like you give me that thing?
Speaker 1: Mad God is still good all the time. So no,
Speaker 1: So um, I do have a chapter called mad at God,
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of people will relate to
Speaker 1: it because we've all been mad at him about different
Speaker 1: things that happened in our lives, and we asked God
Speaker 1: like why you know, why? Why the kids over there?
Speaker 1: Why did he allow this to happen to kids? Why
Speaker 1: do you let my nights aunt get cancer? Why do
Speaker 1: you know? Things like that? So, um, it's interesting. I
Speaker 1: go through a lot of ebbs and flows different. Life is,
Speaker 1: life is. Life is a beautiful thing though. All in all,
Speaker 1: I lost my mother. I lost my son. That's the
Speaker 1: worst thing I think any mother or any parents could
Speaker 1: ever do, is bury their child. Because it's not supposed
Speaker 1: to happen in that order, right, Yeah, it's out of
Speaker 1: order for sure. Yeah. I can definitely relate to that
Speaker 1: chapter mad at God, because I questioned God, I mean
Speaker 1: heavily when my godfather died. My godfather was a Baptist
Speaker 1: preacher and he and his wife died in a fire
Speaker 1: house fire. My grandmother died like that, My grandmother died
Speaker 1: like that, and she was the most god fearing. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when that happened, that was so horrific. It threw me off.
Speaker 1: It threw all everything. It just questioned everything that I
Speaker 1: thought I knew about, you know, God and my my
Speaker 1: spirit and everything. It just it shook me to my
Speaker 1: core to see such great people died like in such
Speaker 1: a tragic way. I mean, these are people who the
Speaker 1: community was taken care of by. These are people who
Speaker 1: never knew no. They couldn't say no to anybody. Everybody
Speaker 1: came to them for assistance. Uh, and you know, to
Speaker 1: see them die like that, I was like, man, hey, man,
Speaker 1: So I understand mad at God. Absolutely absolutely. Listen. My grandmother,
Speaker 1: my father's mother, my father's mother and sister died in
Speaker 1: a house fire. I lived with my grandmother when I
Speaker 1: was young, and she was a Jehoah's witness and she
Speaker 1: was very if you know anything about Jehoa's witnesses. Besides
Speaker 1: for the fact that we used to get avoided, people
Speaker 1: hide under the couches when we knocked on the door.
Speaker 1: But aside from that, it's a very um it's very
Speaker 1: disciplined related. So you have to be very convicted to
Speaker 1: be a Jehoa's witness. You don't celebrate all these pagan holidays,
Speaker 1: and you don't go and buy a bunch of stuff
Speaker 1: for Christmas, and you don't buy a tree in YadA, YadA, YadA.
Speaker 1: So my grandmother was a devout Jehoa's witness and she
Speaker 1: died in the fire. I couldn't believe it. In my aunt.
Speaker 1: She died trying to save my aunt in the in
Speaker 1: the house fire. I thought there couldn't be a god.
Speaker 1: Somebody worshiped God as much. I was like, how is
Speaker 1: that possible. That's how my godfather died. He died trying
Speaker 1: to save his wife. They died that way, both of them.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. Yeah, they were in the house
Speaker 1: and you know that was a space heater and it
Speaker 1: was it was a gas space heater and it caught
Speaker 1: on fire, and you know, it took her out first,
Speaker 1: and you know, it started burning in her room first,
Speaker 1: and then he went in and try to save her,
Speaker 1: and you know he got him. You know. So yeah, man,
Speaker 1: you were done. You were like this, it's no God,
Speaker 1: there's no way. I know. Absolutely it was their time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well they had fulfilled it was their time, see and
Speaker 1: see and see. And I hear people say that a lot,
Speaker 1: and it's just for me, like, I just feel like
Speaker 1: that perhaps if you die of old age, maybe it
Speaker 1: was your time. This is my thinking. And I know
Speaker 1: everybody got their thing. And because I hear people all
Speaker 1: the time say, well, you know, man, you know it's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. It's gonna happen. You know, we already got
Speaker 1: our moment. We are we already, all of us already
Speaker 1: got a time. I feel like, yeah, we're all gonna
Speaker 1: die and we got a time. But I do believe
Speaker 1: that there are some things you can do. The Russian frenchness.
Speaker 1: If a train is coming on the track and that
Speaker 1: train is going and the arms are coming down, the
Speaker 1: guard arms are coming down, and you still decide that
Speaker 1: you're going to try to beat that train and that
Speaker 1: train smash your ass to smoother rings. You know, wasn't
Speaker 1: your time to die? Or did you rush it? You know?
Speaker 1: If you if you had a corner store and you
Speaker 1: see the you know, the local mafia, your boss's mother
Speaker 1: inside of the store, and your cuss out. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, wasn't your time? You know? Or did you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did you expedity? You know, did you rush it? So
Speaker 1: I just believe that there are some things that we
Speaker 1: can do to rush death. Uh, But you know, overall,
Speaker 1: I guess you know that is a There is a time,
Speaker 1: and you know for all of us, and we all
Speaker 1: got an expiration, and it's important to know that we're
Speaker 1: here temporarily, you know. I'll tell you what though, as
Speaker 1: a mother who lost a child, it's kind of what
Speaker 1: gets me through, you know what I mean. If I
Speaker 1: were to just think about it, I'd be mad again.
Speaker 1: It would be another book I would write cussing out
Speaker 1: the guy that ran into my son. But if I
Speaker 1: don't live in the spirit of forgiveness, I'd be angry
Speaker 1: about so much. So in order to remain in a
Speaker 1: beautiful state, which my book is called, here I stand
Speaker 1: in a beautiful state, I have to kind of release
Speaker 1: things and I have to Yeah, I have to just
Speaker 1: go back because you have two states of being. You
Speaker 1: can you can be in a suffering state or a
Speaker 1: beautiful state. There's only two states. There's no third state.
Speaker 1: You can suffer and that means be mad, hold resentment, anger,
Speaker 1: dada da da da, or you can go back to
Speaker 1: a beautiful state. So when things go wrong in your life,
Speaker 1: you have to you can take a moment to process.
Speaker 1: I ain't say it, don't get mad, cuss the folks out,
Speaker 1: whatever you're gonna do, let it go, release it, say
Speaker 1: what you have to say, Release it and go back
Speaker 1: to a beautiful state, because you don't want the rest
Speaker 1: of your day, or your weak or your life to
Speaker 1: be ruined by that thing over there. There's nothing that
Speaker 1: being angry at the guy who hurt my son. Trust me,
Speaker 1: I'm mad as the dickens, and everybody in my family
Speaker 1: is like, we're gonna take him out. You know what
Speaker 1: was that was that gonna bring my son back? So
Speaker 1: I have to release it. And I forgave him. I
Speaker 1: knew it was an accident. He didn't mean to run
Speaker 1: into my son. I can't remain mad. He went to jail. Um,
Speaker 1: and your son died. Just for the record, he died
Speaker 1: into some type of water accident. Right. He was with
Speaker 1: his father and um some of his dad's friends, and
Speaker 1: they went to the lake and his dad was driving
Speaker 1: a pontoon boat and it had an enter tube connected
Speaker 1: to the boat and he pulled it through the lake
Speaker 1: and the kids get on. They have fun. They had
Speaker 1: a joyous day at the lake, and they had jet
Speaker 1: skis and people zipping around. You know jet skis, people
Speaker 1: get crazy on them, not realizing there's no breaks on water.
Speaker 1: And so the guy basically ran. He did some kind
Speaker 1: of bee line towards whatever boat or to My son
Speaker 1: and another little girl were on and he ran and
Speaker 1: he basically landed on the children. And there was another
Speaker 1: little girl on there who survived. My son basically saved
Speaker 1: her life. And um, he had a traumatic head and
Speaker 1: brain injury called a t p I. And UM he
Speaker 1: was in the hospital for two weeks. And I had
Speaker 1: to make peace. What what was going to happen? You
Speaker 1: know the way that the outcome was gonna go? Trust me?
Speaker 1: Oh man, please. I was in there throwing stuff. I
Speaker 1: acted a food Let's be clear. I was very angry,
Speaker 1: mad at God. Like all the kids in the world there,
Speaker 1: you know, he got some bad kids. I hear robbing
Speaker 1: people at gunpoint and doing all kinds of things. He's
Speaker 1: talking about Kyle. This was a kid that sat on
Speaker 1: his computer all day, computer genius. He was artist. He painted,
Speaker 1: he sang. His voice was like an angel. I mean
Speaker 1: could sing he's posted on my page. You can see him.
Speaker 1: Could sing um and a mama's boy, like help me
Speaker 1: cook for Thanksgiving, cut up all He's my Sioux chef.
Speaker 1: He would cut up all the all the tomatoes and
Speaker 1: all the onions and everything for the dressing. Like he
Speaker 1: was the guy to stand with me rapping gifts at
Speaker 1: four in the morning. This is my guy. I could
Speaker 1: not believe he was even on the tube because this
Speaker 1: is why I say it had to be his time.
Speaker 1: He wasn't athletic, now that he wasn't. He hated sports,
Speaker 1: but he loved everything creative and artistic and writing and
Speaker 1: singing and all that. Anyway, that said, he volunteered to
Speaker 1: get on this tube. The guy ran into him on
Speaker 1: a jet ski and that's what happened. Did you blame
Speaker 1: his dad? Um? No, I think his father probably you know,
Speaker 1: suffers and has enough you know that he's dealing with,
Speaker 1: So it would be it would be kind kind of
Speaker 1: make no sense to blame him and put extra No. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I felt bad for Yeah, I feel bad for his father. Still. Yeah,
Speaker 1: here I stand and a beautiful state. How'd you come
Speaker 1: up with the title, Well, well, my ex husband wrote
Speaker 1: an album called here I stand. Um, he put on
Speaker 1: that I'm called Here I stand, and the title track
Speaker 1: is that, and each of the songs on the album.
Speaker 1: I think there's probably I don't want to lie, but
Speaker 1: I think there's like twelve songs on the album that
Speaker 1: would dedicated to me. All twelve songs, every single one album.
Speaker 1: So you added in a beautiful stage. Yes, here I stand. Well,
Speaker 1: it was about the album, but more importantly, here I
Speaker 1: stand mean me as a person that's been through I
Speaker 1: was three months pregnant when my first son's father was
Speaker 1: killed in Oakland, so I have yeah, my son, I
Speaker 1: was nineteen and Um, I was having a baby by
Speaker 1: a guy who was a street guy and he was killed.
Speaker 1: And I had a child by myself, single mom, and
Speaker 1: I did very well with him. He's a very independent,
Speaker 1: sweet loving person, no trouble, just good kids. So here
Speaker 1: I stand. I've been through a lot. I've been through
Speaker 1: just some egregious stuff. Um, losing my grandmother, losing my mother,
Speaker 1: losing my sister. I mean, I have a lot of
Speaker 1: people have died in my family. How old were you
Speaker 1: when your mom and grandmother died? Um, my grandmother, I
Speaker 1: would say I was about two. My grandmother in the fire.
Speaker 1: My grandmother and aunt in the fire. Um. I was
Speaker 1: about twenty two. My son was a little boy. My
Speaker 1: mom passed, so that was not long ago. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: she had died. She was home her heart she had
Speaker 1: a heart attack and we didn't even know for like
Speaker 1: three days. She lived, you know, by herself in Oakland.
Speaker 1: And you know, I was actually on a beach and
Speaker 1: my sister was like, I'm trying to reach mine. You
Speaker 1: talked to my mom? I was like, no, that's weird.
Speaker 1: She didn't, cause she said she hadn't called anybody in
Speaker 1: a couple of days. I'm like, no, telling my mom
Speaker 1: was doing? You know, I don't know. And turns out
Speaker 1: my mother was there dead for days. So UM, that
Speaker 1: was in my son. That happened in UM. I went
Speaker 1: through two divorces, So heartbreak, heartbreak. I'm no stranger to
Speaker 1: heartbreak and shock. And so it's here I stand, like,
Speaker 1: how do you still stand? How do you still get dressed?
Speaker 1: How do you still um take care of your other children?
Speaker 1: How do you still take care of your business? How
Speaker 1: do you start a new business? How do you keep
Speaker 1: flourishing despite of all the things that have happened When
Speaker 1: your mom died and you were on a beach. Where
Speaker 1: were you? I was named Willa, same place I was
Speaker 1: with my son. You you try. She has struck oftentimes
Speaker 1: when you were in a state, in a beautiful state
Speaker 1: of celebration, where you were having fun. Uh, the same
Speaker 1: thing happened to you. You came you had a near
Speaker 1: death experience yourself in Brazil. Explain what happened there. Oh, man,
Speaker 1: I forgot about that. Man, you're right, like today, I
Speaker 1: didn't forget about it, but until you said it, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're right. That's another thing that happened. I was in Brazil,
Speaker 1: Um when I was married. It was hard being married
Speaker 1: to a celebrity, you know. Like I said, I was
Speaker 1: not meant for being in front of the camera. So
Speaker 1: being put in front of the camera, in front of everybody,
Speaker 1: UM put me on a lot of pressure, a lot
Speaker 1: of scrutiny, a lot of negative stuff was said about me.
Speaker 1: And and then also this was a sex symbol, you know,
Speaker 1: so there was a lot of women that came along
Speaker 1: with that package that I didn't like that. I didn't
Speaker 1: quite sign up for that part of the deal. And
Speaker 1: so I went to Brazil. I was mad one time.
Speaker 1: It was my sister, my nanny my name was from Brazil,
Speaker 1: and my assistant and he was in Vegas, you know,
Speaker 1: having a good time, and I said, you know what,
Speaker 1: let's go to Let's go to Brazil. We're gonna take
Speaker 1: Jenny to see her kids and we're gonna go kick it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna lay out on the beach and just do us.
Speaker 1: And that was my nanny. That was my nanny, and
Speaker 1: it was her. She was sad. It was her son's
Speaker 1: birthday and she was always helping me take care of
Speaker 1: my kids. I said, let's go, let's go, We're out,
Speaker 1: and so we packed up and went went down in Brazil.
Speaker 1: And while I was there, I start seeing those people
Speaker 1: walk by, the little bathe and suits. I said, well,
Speaker 1: let me need some of this body's situation. So I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna have lapel suction while I'm here.
Speaker 1: IM gonna give my stomach all flat. I'm gonna come
Speaker 1: back cute. I'm gonna be ready. I'm gonna show him.
Speaker 1: And why did I do that? He had to come
Speaker 1: to Brazil. I um. I went under anesthesia with anesthesiologists,
Speaker 1: and when the cardiac arrest, my heart went crazy. I
Speaker 1: don't know if they gave me something that I wasn't
Speaker 1: supposed to have. Um, but um, I followed all the instructions.
Speaker 1: I didn't eat after midnight, and my blood work was fine.
Speaker 1: They still don't exactly know what happened, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: want the cardiac arrest. And the doctor hadn't even entered
Speaker 1: the room yet. It was me and the anesthesiologist. Does
Speaker 1: it scare you that they never found out what the
Speaker 1: source was? Well, you know, I went I went to
Speaker 1: other cardiologists in the States and they just said, you know,
Speaker 1: they thought it was probably some bad uh whatever the
Speaker 1: anesthesia was. Yeah, it probably wasn't the right whatever. I
Speaker 1: probably had allergic reaction. So I won't be doing anything
Speaker 1: like that again. Yeah, I'm good on that. No more
Speaker 1: going to sleep, I'll say that right right. Do you
Speaker 1: have a warning for the other young ladies out there
Speaker 1: who have anse surgeries? I see them all the time.
Speaker 1: I just saw something where all these ladies were getting
Speaker 1: like these butt lifts and going on the wheelchairs in
Speaker 1: the airport. But I'm like, okay, ladies, you'd be dead
Speaker 1: to the bed like I was. I was. I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: I'm lucky to be here dead bid over beauty. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The thing is is that, like I think with a
Speaker 1: lot of men, you know, we have an issue with business.
Speaker 1: The reason but it is by the way, see, and
Speaker 1: that's what I was about to say. I'm glad you
Speaker 1: said it, so I don't have to say, y'all blame
Speaker 1: us for we gotta have these issues with these these
Speaker 1: these surgeries or whatever. If something happens or whatever, come
Speaker 1: out the form, that's something we get the blame right
Speaker 1: the form. You know. I'm saying like that as some
Speaker 1: women that have some women that go out and get
Speaker 1: the b B L. It's called b bl B. What
Speaker 1: do they call it, Brazilian butler and button left right,
Speaker 1: So the women that go out and get that lift
Speaker 1: and then they get the trip. Yeah, me too, because
Speaker 1: it often doesn't lift it. But yeah, so when it
Speaker 1: goes bad, it really goes bad. Right Oftentimes I've seen
Speaker 1: a woman who had like a half a button. You know,
Speaker 1: it's just it's just everything just kind of like it
Speaker 1: went away. The round part just went away, and it
Speaker 1: was like he could take it off and you know,
Speaker 1: and people were like, uh, people were like you know, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, just go natural. Like a lot of guys.
Speaker 1: What I want women to understand is that guys, many
Speaker 1: guys do like the big butt or whatever, but they
Speaker 1: want it natural. They wanted to be natural, not stuff. Well,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't getting that, by the way, let me
Speaker 1: just for the record, I was not getting any additional
Speaker 1: but there, That's never been a problem. What I was
Speaker 1: concerned about. I had just had two children. I did
Speaker 1: them back to back. Yeah, I know I wanted to
Speaker 1: I wanted light bulb. I was just getting because I
Speaker 1: was still slim. I've gained like twenty pounds since those
Speaker 1: days because I was, you know, ten twelve years ago
Speaker 1: when this happened. Um, I just wanted to be skinny
Speaker 1: as I used to be. I wanted my waist smart
Speaker 1: on that I wanted to snatch a little waist. So
Speaker 1: I was like, take all this little food pop off
Speaker 1: and take the waist in and let me have the flat,
Speaker 1: little tiny waist. I'm more obsessed with that than anything else.
Speaker 1: I've always had boobs and all that kind of stuff, like, well,
Speaker 1: why why do women check this out to me? Because
Speaker 1: why do women uh get the surgery or whatever, and
Speaker 1: and then they say, well, I'm doing this for me
Speaker 1: I'm working out for me. They say, I'm doing this
Speaker 1: for me. But then when something goes wrong, they say, well,
Speaker 1: if guys wouldn't be doing it, and if they didn't
Speaker 1: like it, then you know, we wouldn't be doing this stuff,
Speaker 1: and we wouldn't have girls out here objectifying themselves and stuff.
Speaker 1: It's like, how do you blame a man for hold on,
Speaker 1: how do you blame a man for like objectifying you
Speaker 1: when you objectify yourself. I'm not saying you personally, but
Speaker 1: I'm just saying in general, Like I keep I hear
Speaker 1: these stories, it's like men have no problem owning their ship.
Speaker 1: I do believe. I think it's I think it's common
Speaker 1: knowledge that men would just be like, okay, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a dog mental sage. What I'm saying in general
Speaker 1: in general, For years, women have called men dogs, and
Speaker 1: men don't put up too much of a fight trying
Speaker 1: to uh, you know, protested. They don't put too much
Speaker 1: a fight up trying to protested it. But you know,
Speaker 1: if a woman is out being loose, you know, act
Speaker 1: like a slut or whatever, you know, she don't she
Speaker 1: don't own it. She'll say that, well, men do it,
Speaker 1: and and but men. Men. I think. I think men
Speaker 1: oftentimes will more often than not own their ship. And
Speaker 1: you know, and I know I'm getting in trouble right now.
Speaker 1: I know I'm getting in trouble right No, no, no,
Speaker 1: but let me say this. Men don't own it because
Speaker 1: you see, the biggest problem with all men, I'll get
Speaker 1: myself in trouble. The biggest problem with all men or
Speaker 1: for me, it is just the honesty factor. There is
Speaker 1: nothing more attractive. I don't care how dirty, dirty, damn
Speaker 1: dog you are. Tell the truth. There's something just sexy
Speaker 1: about a man saying, look, you ain't the only one.
Speaker 1: And I love Genie over here because whatever reason. So
Speaker 1: then you can make an informed decision like okay, he
Speaker 1: told me about her, so I can accept it or not.
Speaker 1: So we have a problem when they lie when you
Speaker 1: because I love you. That lie is horrid. The lie
Speaker 1: is so it's so weak. It's so I'm from Oakland.
Speaker 1: That's the other thing. I'm from Oakland. So we like
Speaker 1: men that are gs in that sense, like you own
Speaker 1: your stuff. It's boss to tell the truth. I don't
Speaker 1: know it's sexy. You'd be looking at him like do
Speaker 1: I stay with him or not? Damn he told me.
Speaker 1: But I like him. That makes you like but that
Speaker 1: lion make him a little weasel, just lying ass, hate
Speaker 1: a liar. I think that oftentimes I'm gonna get in
Speaker 1: trouble again, but I gotta say it's it's important that
Speaker 1: I say this. I do believe tell the truth and
Speaker 1: shame the devil. I do believe that women will say
Speaker 1: most women will say that they want. Oh, I ain't
Speaker 1: gonna say most, because I don't know most. Onom I
Speaker 1: was just saying, I've heard a lot of women say
Speaker 1: that they want to hear the truth. But when a
Speaker 1: man tells the truth, he seems to not get as
Speaker 1: much out of a woman. And I'm not one of
Speaker 1: those guys that I'm talking about right now. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: more honest because I believe like it's less of a headache,
Speaker 1: you know. So I believe in just being transparent with
Speaker 1: a woman. And that's why I told you that way.
Speaker 1: When you start getting your feelings about something whatever, you
Speaker 1: can't be started thinking like, Okay, I'm gonna get his
Speaker 1: ass back, you know, you know, like, no, he was
Speaker 1: up he was up front, and most guys are not
Speaker 1: that way. But when a guy lies he seems to
Speaker 1: get a lot further. Oftentimes if he's trying to like
Speaker 1: just have sex with a woman or whatever, and he said, yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to be with you exclusively what or whatever,
Speaker 1: and then you know, he might get some action out
Speaker 1: of that if he tells the truth and say no,
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to kno, get back out for the night,
Speaker 1: and I'm out of this bitch, you know, su away
Speaker 1: from me younger. It depends also, let me say this,
Speaker 1: it depends on the age of the girl. Okay, age does.
Speaker 1: Age does have a lot to do with Heck yeah,
Speaker 1: because when I was younger, my tolerance and what I
Speaker 1: wanted to hear was different than what I want to hear,
Speaker 1: you know now, So I don't understand. And also I
Speaker 1: do not understand the generation behind me. I'm worried about
Speaker 1: the generation behind me because they're having children, and I'm
Speaker 1: worried about these kids. I'm worried about just everything. I'm
Speaker 1: worried about our whole. So the generation behind me, the
Speaker 1: girls that are younger in the thirties and late twenties
Speaker 1: and all that, that's a real lost generation. But if
Speaker 1: they're lost, in order for something had to be lost,
Speaker 1: somebody has to misplace it. Who miss who? Who's so?
Speaker 1: Who misplaced it? Who misplaced the generation? If they're lost
Speaker 1: my generation, whose fault is that? So? So it's so,
Speaker 1: it's incombindent on us to get it back. If we
Speaker 1: lost them, we got to go back and find them.
Speaker 1: You exactly right, that's funny, that's interesting. Um, that's exactly
Speaker 1: and it is. It's my generation. Because I'm fifty, all right,
Speaker 1: so my son is thirty. I can only speak for
Speaker 1: the sons I've had. You know, my my boys are.
Speaker 1: They're great. I'm not worried about them in terms of
Speaker 1: the way that I reared them. Um, the things that
Speaker 1: I instill in them. I always tell my friends, I'm
Speaker 1: a real fussy mom. I'm in they're like, man, they
Speaker 1: can't hear, like this little gnat in their ear because
Speaker 1: I'm always worried that if something happens, if something should
Speaker 1: happen to me. Can they make it on their own?
Speaker 1: Would they be all right? Do they understand how to
Speaker 1: make money? Do they know how to save money? Do
Speaker 1: they not to clean their kitchen? Do they not to
Speaker 1: make a bed properly? Can they do laundry? Do they
Speaker 1: not a talk? To people do they're not an enter
Speaker 1: a room, take their shoes off at the door, like,
Speaker 1: but that's me. But I'm only one, so I don't
Speaker 1: know what's happening with the rest. I'm worried about the
Speaker 1: ones that had these girls. I think girls need so
Speaker 1: much help because the girl men follow the women. Men
Speaker 1: do what they do for the women. So we could
Speaker 1: fix the girl. I had a foundation called Lost Ones,
Speaker 1: the Lost Ones Found. I had it until my son
Speaker 1: passed away, Kyle. Um. Now I have Kyle's world, which
Speaker 1: is for him. But Lost Ones. I mentored girls because
Speaker 1: I feel like if we can get the girls in
Speaker 1: order and slow them down and get them to stop
Speaker 1: working so much and had them put a little bit
Speaker 1: more clothes on and take the purple hair off, I
Speaker 1: think we can get the girls in order. The men
Speaker 1: will follow. Oh absolutely, the men are gonna are gonna follow.
Speaker 1: They will follow. The men will follow. And I'm a
Speaker 1: backtrack a little bit. You know when I was talking
Speaker 1: about how women will, women will make certain mistakes or whatever,
Speaker 1: do certain stupid stuff, and then they always say, well
Speaker 1: if the men, you try to put it on the
Speaker 1: man right, Well, men? Uh, men does a lot of
Speaker 1: stupid stuff. They even risk their lives to impress women
Speaker 1: to try to get to that money and stuff, all
Speaker 1: to impress women. Even sometimes uh, fighting in clubs or whatever,
Speaker 1: trying to impress a woman, getting caught up in their
Speaker 1: feelings again, trying to impress women. They end up taking
Speaker 1: penitentiary chance, it's going to pin forty years, Uh, getting
Speaker 1: caught up, getting killed, all kinds of things, and all
Speaker 1: of this is to impress women. And that is why
Speaker 1: when men walk around with their pants hanging off their
Speaker 1: asks and he draws sean booty kracko. Uh, if women
Speaker 1: would check them, they I'm talking about the men who
Speaker 1: are interested in women. If women would check them, that
Speaker 1: ship would be over like this. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: the greatest wars of our time, all the way back
Speaker 1: to the Romans. Every war you've seen have been over
Speaker 1: two things, one of two things. Back then they called
Speaker 1: it land, which is money or oil whatever, or a
Speaker 1: woman your money is sex. That's it. That's it. If
Speaker 1: you look at every war, everything from you know, and
Speaker 1: if you look at everything historically from the hundred's the
Speaker 1: first fights in the world has been over love or money.
Speaker 1: That's it. That's it. That's why. I know the women
Speaker 1: can fix this. So so how do we resolve that conflict?
Speaker 1: The girls gotta the girls gotta tighten up. The girls
Speaker 1: have to look at um, what type of what type
Speaker 1: of woman? You've gotta become a little more virtuous. That's
Speaker 1: what the women have to do. They have to get
Speaker 1: it together. They got to cover up a little bit
Speaker 1: and you know, look at themselves more as a prize
Speaker 1: and and and make it a little bit leave some
Speaker 1: mystique to it instead of putting everything out there. Here's
Speaker 1: the thing, I'm just one person. I'm old though I
Speaker 1: don't care. Don'tbody listening to me. And that's what they're
Speaker 1: gonna hit you with the online that's what they're gonna
Speaker 1: come at you with. But y'all want what I got,
Speaker 1: So go there, listen. Do you want what I gotta want?
Speaker 1: What I had? You want something I've been there, done that.
Speaker 1: You guys are trying to get here. So I want
Speaker 1: the young girls to listen because I'm not even trying
Speaker 1: to catch them anymore. I'm telling you, I let the
Speaker 1: young girls do what they do. I just I try
Speaker 1: to stay at their business. Stuff happens on social media.
Speaker 1: I just be at home, Like, God, I want to
Speaker 1: comment so bad my kids be like, get off of
Speaker 1: social media, quick talking, getting people grown, folks business. I
Speaker 1: look at all these little people running out here with
Speaker 1: all this stuff on and strings covering up and the
Speaker 1: privates out and on red carpet showing half that. I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: I think that it's going to take I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's going to take the bravery. It's going
Speaker 1: to take the bravery of more women like you who
Speaker 1: have been that, done that, who they look up to,
Speaker 1: who they aspired to be. But it's also gonna take
Speaker 1: their peers. It's gonna take some some of the peers
Speaker 1: gonna have to be brave enough to say this ain't cool,
Speaker 1: that ain't cool. They got to be brave enough to
Speaker 1: speak out. Because when I was growing up, it always
Speaker 1: had like one thing that I know about human beings
Speaker 1: is that two damn foods ain't gonna make it. Somebody
Speaker 1: got to have some sense. Somebody got to have some sense,
Speaker 1: you know. And and growing up early on, I was
Speaker 1: the damn food. So my buddy was my want, my
Speaker 1: my homeboy. He had a little bit more sense, Ron
Speaker 1: had a little bit more sense than I did. He
Speaker 1: could talk to me off the ledge, but I was on,
Speaker 1: go go go go. Yeah, well it's gonna always be
Speaker 1: in me now because I and I and I, And
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that, you know, because I think that
Speaker 1: you gotta have that in you to survive in this
Speaker 1: type of world we're living in, because people, people will
Speaker 1: take your kind this for weakness, and so they that
Speaker 1: threat must always exist otherwise they will walk over you. People.
Speaker 1: Some people sit back and just wait for you to
Speaker 1: start reclining, like yeah, I'm done, I'm retired, and and
Speaker 1: now okay, yeah, I mean I remember early on when
Speaker 1: I started making money, I was like, man, you know,
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta I got chilled. I gotta fall back,
Speaker 1: you know. And uh, I realized that, Okay, they think
Speaker 1: he's on tour, he's making records, living up, living fancy.
Speaker 1: He ain't worried about what's going on right here in
Speaker 1: the water, what's going on and on the north side
Speaker 1: or the south side or whatever. He ain't worried about
Speaker 1: what we do to this people or whatever. And then
Speaker 1: you know, I had to you know, slide back in,
Speaker 1: spankle the last and get back right and say hey,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, you know, it's it's gonna and I
Speaker 1: had I had to realize that, you know what, these
Speaker 1: foods ain't gonna let you retire. They're not gonna let
Speaker 1: me retire you because the moment I do, they're going
Speaker 1: to take that kindness for weakness. They're gonna think that
Speaker 1: it's sweet. So I realized that, Okay, I gotta stay active,
Speaker 1: but I had to change my method. You understand what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, you know, like anyway, let's move all. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I want to know how has your rearing of
Speaker 1: your kids that you have remaining, uh changed? Are you
Speaker 1: stricter stricter now that you know since Kyle's passing? Are
Speaker 1: you hard on them? Do you think they probably think so? Um,
Speaker 1: I'm not harder. I'm not harder. I'm probably softer. But
Speaker 1: I am a bit of a helicopter mom, you know. Um,
Speaker 1: I am a little more intuitive, and I also am
Speaker 1: more intentional with the time I spend with them. I
Speaker 1: make sure none of them ever leave my president. It's
Speaker 1: without knowing that I loved them, and I probably am
Speaker 1: a little more um chatty you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I mean there. I remember on Thursday, I was driving
Speaker 1: my son to school and um little ushers. He looked
Speaker 1: at me. He was like, I'm telling dad that we
Speaker 1: gotta get um, we gotta ride the bus. We cannot
Speaker 1: do this every day with you. We cannot. You know,
Speaker 1: I can't do this no more my sons and eighth
Speaker 1: grade because I'm like in his ear, like when you
Speaker 1: want these teachers to think about you, I got a
Speaker 1: note from your cheacher. I'm just fussing, fussing, fussing all
Speaker 1: the way to school with and put some motion on
Speaker 1: your face. And why would you set up when you're
Speaker 1: in class? Do you slump like that that? He was
Speaker 1: just looking at me, like you can't be fussed as
Speaker 1: much at seven morton. Um, I think I'm just always
Speaker 1: I'm teaching, teaching, teaching. I don't know why I feel
Speaker 1: because I think I am a little anxious about time,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know how much time I have. I
Speaker 1: think one thing about losing Kyle. Um. I just feel
Speaker 1: like I don't know. I feel like I'm running out
Speaker 1: of time, don't That's the only thing I do have
Speaker 1: to um, kind of relax a little bit about I
Speaker 1: feel like there's not time. I just think that you
Speaker 1: got to do it. So when I have the urge
Speaker 1: to travel. I travel when I have the urge to,
Speaker 1: um love on my kids. I'll say, hey, we're not
Speaker 1: going to school today, We're going to Disneyland. Like I'll
Speaker 1: make a decision, like we out or you know what,
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful day, Let's get on a jet and
Speaker 1: go to such as if I can afford it, you know,
Speaker 1: at the time. But I try to do as much. Um.
Speaker 1: I'm more spontaneous than I was and and I'm very
Speaker 1: intentional with my kids. Yeah, for sure, is your household
Speaker 1: of the household that all the kids want to come over?
Speaker 1: They hated No, not fun. I don't have no pets.
Speaker 1: It's just too clean. I'm a little O. C D.
Speaker 1: My house is like clean clean. But you seem like
Speaker 1: the you. You seem like the you know, the the
Speaker 1: the carrying type, but kind of fun. Fun. First of all,
Speaker 1: I love music. So any household that has a lot
Speaker 1: of music, it's always more fun. So music is in
Speaker 1: my house. You're gonna have music. And in fact, when
Speaker 1: you ordered my book, I have a playlist that comes
Speaker 1: with the book. That's how much I mean. I'm so
Speaker 1: in the music. My father was a musician. Yeah, my
Speaker 1: father was in a group, an old group called the Ballots,
Speaker 1: and used to perform everywhere. They opened for all the
Speaker 1: you know, the Whispers and all of them. They kind
Speaker 1: of put the Whispers on. Yes in Oakland when the
Speaker 1: Whispers came to the it is John Foster, and there's
Speaker 1: a group called the Ballots. In fact, guess what Wu
Speaker 1: Tang sample my dad's song. One of his songs on
Speaker 1: the Wu Tang album, a song called Conditioner with Snoop Dogg.
Speaker 1: That's my dad's song, Dizzy World. My dad was in
Speaker 1: a group called the Ballots. He was in a movie
Speaker 1: called The Mac. You've heard of the Mac, of course,
Speaker 1: my dad, that's what that was shot in No, Oakland,
Speaker 1: for sure. I hate to see for sure. Eighteen siblings,
Speaker 1: so do you? John Earl Foster's my daddy. How many
Speaker 1: baby moms did your dad have? Eighteen? No, he had fourteen, fifteen.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a couple of questionable kids that I'm
Speaker 1: kind of like, we need some DNA, we need to
Speaker 1: do a little swab. He like they're too old. It
Speaker 1: don't matter. It's like, so I'm looking John Foster, John Foster,
Speaker 1: and I got an Italian singer. Um look at the
Speaker 1: ballots to this group called the ballots LLL A d S.
Speaker 1: The ballots. Picture of them in my book. There's a
Speaker 1: picture in my book. Did they Did they do a
Speaker 1: lot of rehearsing at your house? Um? You know growing up.
Speaker 1: Let's see dope, man, please, I used to go to
Speaker 1: all the rehearsals. Yeah. Well I'll check it out later.
Speaker 1: But anyway, who out of all of these people that
Speaker 1: you have styled for, he's back with you. He's back
Speaker 1: with the things. Okay, they'll bring it in, he said,
Speaker 1: he's out there. You don't know which one to come into. Okay,
Speaker 1: hazard him till we can stop for a second. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: you have two things going on. Can we cut for
Speaker 1: a second. Okay, sorry, cut, Okay, you gotta go get that.
Speaker 1: Grabbed the book from the guy he has him? Oh
Speaker 1: there he Hasn't you have the book? Oh you want
Speaker 1: to grab them? Okay? So one second, So you said
Speaker 1: b A L l A d S. Yeah, what how
Speaker 1: is that possible? Did you put the balance at least
Speaker 1: you don't see the group? That's it, right, that is right.
Speaker 1: Just put in the ballots and then you'll see. I'll
Speaker 1: show you a picture him. My daddy, my papa. They
Speaker 1: sampled a song named pam Ooh daddy. He's the picture
Speaker 1: of his group. And my dad is a light skinning,
Speaker 1: real handsome guy. You like my first son's father. You
Speaker 1: look like him. Yes, it's very weird. Actually, do you
Speaker 1: like it? I shot that it was funny. I took
Speaker 1: that picture in BALI no intentions on it, uh, becoming
Speaker 1: a book, had no idea that, And I didn't have
Speaker 1: a stylist or makeup artist nothing. I did that myself.
Speaker 1: So which one of these guys? Let me see? How
Speaker 1: do you know? The mess? He's a mess, that's why. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my dad is my favorite guy. There's nobody dopers and
Speaker 1: this guy. That guy is and he's still alive. Wait, no,
Speaker 1: this gets worse. Look at him there on the corner.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah, here's what you call a hot mess. Okay, Uh,
Speaker 1: do you all remember when we stopped that? Yes, we're
Speaker 1: talking about my dad. I'm talking about where we stopped.
Speaker 1: I know we was talking about him, but I'm saying,
Speaker 1: you know what we say? What a stop? Was that one?
Speaker 1: You know? I'm talking like what we were talking about?
Speaker 1: What was the subject? No, we know what the subject?
Speaker 1: What I'm saying, like, what what do we What did
Speaker 1: I say last? You said? Kids? Him being in the Mac?
Speaker 1: I think I said, you know what the Mac is? Uma? Kids? Yeah,
Speaker 1: roll back because I don't want to miss this up.
Speaker 1: I don't want to make the Hattittes jumping and stuff.
Speaker 1: So roll back to the end, like like maybe fifteen
Speaker 1: seconds before it ended. Okay, yeah, so let's just let's
Speaker 1: just start start what the audience all right, let's go.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna jump back in to your father piece.
Speaker 1: Um so see you said, um, actually, what's your father Mac?
Speaker 1: My father was definitely a Mac. Are we ready? Okay?
Speaker 1: Here we go? Okay, okay, where's your father Mac? I
Speaker 1: think you know, he was in the movie The Mac,
Speaker 1: and uh, I think he really took this thing literally.
Speaker 1: So I think i'd like to say, yes, you a
Speaker 1: lot of children, a lot of a lot of women.
Speaker 1: But you know one thing I'll say about my father, Um,
Speaker 1: he's eighty years old now, so maybe he hung up
Speaker 1: his he retired his pimp cup, But but every woman
Speaker 1: in his life still loves him, the ones that are alive,
Speaker 1: you know, Um, I don't think he mistreated anyone truthfully,
Speaker 1: They really love him. And they have adoration for him,
Speaker 1: every woman, including you. I adore your dad, please. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I noticed I gravitate to the same types of
Speaker 1: guys in terms of woman visors and men with many women.
Speaker 1: I don't go for the cornballs. I can't. My cornball
Speaker 1: meter is like so high. I don't think I'm gonna
Speaker 1: track this. And the reason being the reason being three,
Speaker 1: I don't know, because of my father treated me really well.
Speaker 1: He was he was a good dad. I had a
Speaker 1: good dad. Despite his I would he probably wasn't a
Speaker 1: good husband or a good boyfriend to those ladies, but
Speaker 1: he was a good dad to me. Right. Yeah, But
Speaker 1: we find a lot in society that women will whatever
Speaker 1: the dad is, they will gravitate towards that same kind
Speaker 1: of guy. And when when dad is a bad guy,
Speaker 1: he has certain flaws or whatever, if he treats you well,
Speaker 1: if it however he treats you, especially if that's love.
Speaker 1: Like in your situation, you felt loved, but you you
Speaker 1: you find out dad was Papa was rolling stone. So
Speaker 1: it's like even though you hated that part of him,
Speaker 1: you still gravitated towards him because you saw that that
Speaker 1: part came with the love. So when you're dating these
Speaker 1: type of guys and then they showed that same type
Speaker 1: of energy or whatever you equate that with the full
Speaker 1: package of being loved. I think you're right. You know.
Speaker 1: I've never thought of it that way, and I've always
Speaker 1: wondered why I kind of like the cool guy and
Speaker 1: the popular guys. And I think I think you're probably right.
Speaker 1: Because at the same time that my father was rolling stone,
Speaker 1: he also made a mean pot of chili cook He
Speaker 1: taught me how to make shrimp fried rice. He's not Asian.
Speaker 1: Um Um. He made the swords from my school play.
Speaker 1: He took me to school. He you know, he was
Speaker 1: very very was a doting father, but he was all
Speaker 1: over the place. He also took me to meet all
Speaker 1: my siblings, and my mother didn't know about it. I
Speaker 1: talked about all this in my book. I can't wait,
Speaker 1: And here I stand in a beautiful state, a beautiful state.
Speaker 1: That's it. How can they go by your your your book?
Speaker 1: How can they get it? Um? It's available on Tamika
Speaker 1: Raymond dot com. That's my personal website. It is going
Speaker 1: to be added to Amazon like in the next couple
Speaker 1: of days. I was hesitant about ever putting it on Amazon,
Speaker 1: but I realized I'm like being antiquated by not having
Speaker 1: it on there. So did you do an audio version?
Speaker 1: I've started. I have five chapters done. Oh it's so
Speaker 1: hard doing an audio book. It's hard anything because you
Speaker 1: gotta make it not sound. I didn't want to sound
Speaker 1: monotone has to have you know, different levels and all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, this is this is
Speaker 1: uh and a great cover. I hadn't had a chance
Speaker 1: to read it yet, but great cover. And you were
Speaker 1: saying something about the cover about how it came to be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that I went to Bali. I travel. Travel has helped
Speaker 1: me with my recovery over just all the different things,
Speaker 1: like you know, the losses and divorced to this, to that.
Speaker 1: Um so I traveled. I went to Bali actually for
Speaker 1: Kyle what would have been Kyle's eighteenth birthday. I went
Speaker 1: to Bali and I decided to hire a photographer. And
Speaker 1: that picture was just in my hotel suite, um and
Speaker 1: uboo Bali. Yeah, I didn't have a makeup partners. I
Speaker 1: did it myself and did my hair. That was me lounging.
Speaker 1: And you said you had to find a picture of
Speaker 1: your standing. Yeah, because all the pictures I was sitting
Speaker 1: down and lounging in the room, and then I've had
Speaker 1: to find one that was a decent one that that's
Speaker 1: just a good cover picture. Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful, hundred
Speaker 1: dollar photo shoot right there. But you're a beautiful person
Speaker 1: with a more beautiful spirit. Thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Final question, with all of the lost pain, the divorce,
Speaker 1: if there's a civil lining in your life, where do
Speaker 1: you think it is? Mm hmm A good question. I
Speaker 1: think you know. I have a lot more to do.
Speaker 1: I think that there's a reason why God spared me
Speaker 1: when I almost died in Brazil. I think there's a
Speaker 1: reason why he as much as I've tried to go
Speaker 1: crazy and been accused of being crazy, that my brain
Speaker 1: won't even let me go crazy. My brain unscrambles, I
Speaker 1: don't have time to go crazy. As soon as I
Speaker 1: try later and say I'm going crazy today, is it
Speaker 1: checking out? Get to check figure it out, my brain says, girl,
Speaker 1: get up, you gotta take those kids. What You've got
Speaker 1: things to do. So I think the silver lining is
Speaker 1: that God has kept me sane, He's kept me healthy
Speaker 1: at COVID. I mean I'm fine. I you know, I
Speaker 1: just think I'm very blessed. There's a lot of bad
Speaker 1: things that have happened in my life, but overall, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want a different life, you know. Overall I love
Speaker 1: my life. I love I love myself. I love my life,
Speaker 1: I love my children. I still have my Kyle in
Speaker 1: my spirit of my heart. Um, I love him. So
Speaker 1: I think life is good despite the bad things. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's in gentleman to make a foster. Raymond, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for having them. So awesome. What a good interview.
Speaker 1: Beautiful a thank you. This episode was produced by a
Speaker 1: King and brought to you by The Black Effect Podcast
Speaker 1: Network and I Heart Radio.