WEBVTT - Love On Your Bitches Too

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<v Speaker 1>What's Up Tribe.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Erica and I'm Mila, and this is Good.

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<v Speaker 3>Mom's Bad Choices Podcast.

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<v Speaker 4>Beach season two.

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<v Speaker 2>If you joined us for season one, you got three

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<v Speaker 2>hundred uncensored episodes.

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<v Speaker 1>But things are a little different in twenty twenty four.

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<v Speaker 1>Not only are we.

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<v Speaker 3>Having new guests, new segments, but we're going outside, y'all.

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<v Speaker 3>We're getting out of our studio and podcasting in the wild,

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<v Speaker 3>So make sure you check us out on YouTube to

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<v Speaker 3>see where we're headed next.

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<v Speaker 2>This podcast is for all the good moms, all the

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<v Speaker 2>good dads, and even y'all hain't got no kids.

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<v Speaker 1>Pull up.

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<v Speaker 4>Join us in season two.

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<v Speaker 2>As we deep dive into even more uncensored topics like love, sex, dating, and.

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<v Speaker 1>Just look at this as the ultimate group chat.

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<v Speaker 3>All the shit you're afraid to say out loud or

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<v Speaker 3>even try, We say it and do it for you.

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<v Speaker 4>Because nothing's off limits here.

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<v Speaker 3>This is a judgment free zone to show up exactly

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<v Speaker 3>as you are, and let's be honest, we've all made

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<v Speaker 3>a few bad choices, so sit back, relax, and enjoy

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<v Speaker 3>the ride.

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<v Speaker 1>This bitch is always late.

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<v Speaker 5>M surprised surprise, Happy Valentine today, So cute the same

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<v Speaker 5>we are.

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<v Speaker 2>I love you, I love you, thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for says smack my red shreds.

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<v Speaker 4>Did you come on? I am so ready, you're late.

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<v Speaker 1>Come on.

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<v Speaker 4>Only the best sold food.

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<v Speaker 1>Gon'd be war for your baby.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm black, Welcome back to good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica,

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<v Speaker 3>and I'm Nila. Happy fucking Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day, tribe.

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<v Speaker 3>So if you are listening right now, you might want

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<v Speaker 3>to check us out on YouTube because we are in

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<v Speaker 3>the wild again. We are out of the office, and

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<v Speaker 3>this time we came to Harold and Bell's, which is

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<v Speaker 3>a black owned restaurant in LA that we love, love, love,

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<v Speaker 3>And what better way to celebrate Valentine's d than even

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<v Speaker 3>some motherfucking creole soul food.

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<v Speaker 2>Right. Not only is Valentine's Day, it's Black History Months,

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<v Speaker 2>so you know you got to get all the black

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<v Speaker 2>owned good shit and our good friends here at Harolen Bell's.

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<v Speaker 2>Let us let me come take my wife on Valentine's Day,

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<v Speaker 2>because you know.

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<v Speaker 4>We like that VIP shit. We in the back and shit.

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<v Speaker 4>Only the best for my lady.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you. I know me.

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<v Speaker 3>Look called me and was like, bitch, We're going to dinner

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<v Speaker 3>and you need to dress up so look cute.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was like, okay, hold on, and you.

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<v Speaker 2>Know, had a little pushback because it's not in the valley.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, valley girls very very rarely rear over the hill.

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<v Speaker 2>But when I tempted her with fried chicken and gumbo,

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<v Speaker 2>she was on the whizzays. So thank you for joining me,

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<v Speaker 2>my lon What else would I be on Valentine's Day?

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<v Speaker 1>Right with your wife exactly?

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<v Speaker 2>This episode is all about love and friendship and you.

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<v Speaker 4>Know, loving on your friends.

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<v Speaker 2>I think we forget to love on our friends because

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<v Speaker 2>we love on our niggas.

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<v Speaker 4>We're wasting all the love on the niggas.

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<v Speaker 2>Or bitches, you know, whoever you're romantically involved with.

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<v Speaker 6>But you know, I wanted to remind you how much

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<v Speaker 6>I love you, and you know, I just treat you

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<v Speaker 6>real nice and special and do something kind for you

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<v Speaker 6>so that we can take time to talk without business,

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<v Speaker 6>without the who well and you know, hang out and

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<v Speaker 6>hit well.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 3>I appreciate that, And I think that's it was a

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<v Speaker 3>beautiful reminder because I think often we do forget like

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<v Speaker 3>we always are like brunching or like that's your girl day, right,

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<v Speaker 3>But like when you have a really intentional day where

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<v Speaker 3>it's like, hey, I want to have one on one

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<v Speaker 3>time with you, and I want to celebrate our friendship.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like not something that we I think do a

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<v Speaker 1>lot with our friends.

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<v Speaker 3>Were just like, yeah, bitch, let's just go have some

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<v Speaker 3>drinks and we'll talk about those niggas over the drinks.

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<v Speaker 1>So we might do that today, but cause we are bases.

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<v Speaker 3>But I just I just love being able to spend

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<v Speaker 3>time with you because I think in twenty twenty three,

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<v Speaker 3>so much of our alone time was about business, and

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<v Speaker 3>I think we're like raining our friendship back in to

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<v Speaker 3>remind ourselves.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, hold on, let's cut the business.

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<v Speaker 3>Talk and let's just talk about, well, how are you doing,

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<v Speaker 3>how are you feeling?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you happy? Are you good?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah? I am, I'm happy. I'm good.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, good.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, but I think it's true not all best

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<v Speaker 2>friends are also in business with each other, which has

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<v Speaker 2>been quite the learning curve, but it does require that

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<v Speaker 2>we do it with intention and remember, yeah, I think

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<v Speaker 2>most of twenty twenty three, eighty nine percent of our

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<v Speaker 2>conversations were beginning and ending with business and.

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<v Speaker 4>What we needed to do.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think it's important to just slow down and

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<v Speaker 2>remember what's important, you know, because business is always going

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<v Speaker 2>to be there.

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<v Speaker 4>But our friendship requires nurturing.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. We call our friendship an entity because when

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<v Speaker 2>we met, something otherworldly took place, and so it does

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<v Speaker 2>require that it's nurtured.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely. Well.

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<v Speaker 7>Cheers to that, my dear, Oh cheers.

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<v Speaker 4>So you know I wanted to bring you here.

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<v Speaker 2>I drug you all the way from the valley, but

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted you to meet the owner of this restaurant,

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<v Speaker 2>Ryan Lego, and tell you a little bit about Haroland Bell's,

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<v Speaker 2>and tell you all about Harolin Bells because.

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<v Speaker 4>This is a landmark. Hi, Ryan, how's it going good?

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<v Speaker 8>Absolom for you to guys.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you, yes, yes, thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>Come have a seat with us for a minute. I

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<v Speaker 2>appreciate you letting you know, letting us come here, bringing

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<v Speaker 2>my wife.

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<v Speaker 8>I'm glad to have you guys.

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<v Speaker 4>I haven't been here in a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>It is.

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<v Speaker 4>It is a very special day. I haven't been here

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<v Speaker 4>in a long time, but I still to come here.

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<v Speaker 2>When I was a little girl, my dad used to

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<v Speaker 2>come pull up and bring me, so I know it's

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<v Speaker 2>been here for a long time.

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<v Speaker 4>Tell us about the restaurant.

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<v Speaker 9>All right, So would you say that's a familiar story?

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<v Speaker 9>Is generation started in nineteen sixty nine. The area itself,

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<v Speaker 9>Jefferson Park. This was like the settling round for people

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<v Speaker 9>coming to California from New Orleans in the forties, fifties

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<v Speaker 9>and sixties. So my grandparents were part of that migration,

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<v Speaker 9>so to speak, along with a bunch of their friends

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<v Speaker 9>and families. And what they wanted was they wanted to

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<v Speaker 9>play similar to New Orleans where they can come hang

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<v Speaker 9>out and gather.

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<v Speaker 8>You know.

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<v Speaker 9>It wasn't a restaurant then when it first started, and

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<v Speaker 9>food was like kind of an afterward. It was really

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<v Speaker 9>a spot to drink, to play cards, the bad horses,

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<v Speaker 9>and there was pool tables and jukebox and build the

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<v Speaker 9>dancers and things like that. So it's definitely evolved over

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<v Speaker 9>the years. That's how That's how it started, and there's

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<v Speaker 9>been a family affair ever since.

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<v Speaker 8>This is a year at Universe sixty four.

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<v Speaker 4>Wow, So you inherited this place.

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<v Speaker 9>You know, there was a financial transaction and it wasn't

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<v Speaker 9>just my parents, they had business partners also, you know,

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<v Speaker 9>so in the eighties they did a really big expansion,

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<v Speaker 9>you know, so there was other business partners involved other.

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<v Speaker 8>Than my family.

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<v Speaker 9>So they see want some real est stadiums and business

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<v Speaker 9>and other things you know of mont it so inherent.

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<v Speaker 9>I was in the first position to say, but you know,

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<v Speaker 9>a business deal still had to occur.

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<v Speaker 4>Basically you had to you had to pay too.

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<v Speaker 3>Is there anything on the menu that has been on

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<v Speaker 3>the menu from like the very beginning?

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah, gumbo, of course, gumbo fried, trim pried catfish, oyster

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<v Speaker 9>po boys. You know, I don't know if you notice

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<v Speaker 9>stuff prod in the restaurant. There is the original menu

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<v Speaker 9>up there right now. We're talking like trimp po boys

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<v Speaker 9>for seventy five cents.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh damn, A lot of times that changed.

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<v Speaker 2>You were just telling us how the City of Los

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<v Speaker 2>Angeles just made this area officially what was it.

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<v Speaker 8>The New Orleans Corridor.

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<v Speaker 9>So what that story I just told you is that

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<v Speaker 9>they made it officials this year by designating.

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<v Speaker 8>Jefferson Boulevard from where we are.

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<v Speaker 9>Jefferson and Tenth Avenue down the Holy Name of Jesus

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<v Speaker 9>Catholic Church, which was everyone's first church, those people moving

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<v Speaker 9>from New Orleans, very strong Catholic tradition.

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<v Speaker 8>It was everyone's first choice. Or our first church when

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<v Speaker 8>they moved to La.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't realize like the culture of like specifically like

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<v Speaker 2>creole people either, did I it was so strong in

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<v Speaker 2>La I mean I knew that there was like a

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<v Speaker 2>migration that happened from the South because of like the

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<v Speaker 2>like industrialism and stuff in business, like jobs opportunities opening up,

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<v Speaker 2>but I didn't realize specifically like New Orleans people were

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<v Speaker 2>you know right here in this area. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 8>I don't know how.

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<v Speaker 9>Distreat in particular ended up being able to have may

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<v Speaker 9>have had something to do with the church, but yeah, forties, fifties,

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<v Speaker 9>and sixties they were, they were here and they were

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<v Speaker 9>coming in ways. My grandfather came post World War two

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<v Speaker 9>when he was in the Navy, and uh, he had

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<v Speaker 9>a series of jobs and businesses before starting this. He

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<v Speaker 9>was kind of like a serial entrepreneur. So he had

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<v Speaker 9>a Texico franchise down the street. He had a painting business,

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<v Speaker 9>and he had a bike shop. And this was you know,

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<v Speaker 9>like the fourth or fifth one that he had. And

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<v Speaker 9>like I said, this was just like a joint. It

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<v Speaker 9>was not a restaurant.

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<v Speaker 3>You know. It's still was something that's been like provably

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<v Speaker 3>in your family obviously everyone eats, but it's it's cooking

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<v Speaker 3>in the house.

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah, you know, in New Orleans it's you know, it's

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<v Speaker 9>it's part life, right, And a lot of times it's men,

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<v Speaker 9>men doing a lot of the cooking, which is different

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<v Speaker 9>than other causes. I'm not saying that like the women

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<v Speaker 9>don't cook either, but I've felt like it's been a

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<v Speaker 9>larger portion of a little men and the Louisiana household

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<v Speaker 9>is cookin.

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<v Speaker 2>That's funny that you say that, because my dad cooks

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<v Speaker 2>in my household, Like in my house growing up, my

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<v Speaker 2>dad cooked, and even now in my household.

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<v Speaker 4>Like my boyfriend cooks.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, I I we get this image

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<v Speaker 2>that women are always the ones cooking and cleaning, but

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't really experienced that.

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<v Speaker 4>And I'm just thinking like.

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<v Speaker 2>The influx of just like the migration of how people

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<v Speaker 2>came in and how food was introduced to America's and

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<v Speaker 2>like how much we've influenced American cuisine and like just

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<v Speaker 2>even lies.

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<v Speaker 4>We've been told that women be in the kitchen.

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<v Speaker 2>Men have been prominently cooked in that, like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>in restaurants. And also I think probably after like slavery,

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<v Speaker 2>and they were.

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<v Speaker 4>Like let me give you a break, let me actually

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<v Speaker 4>get in here and do some shit. Yeah, you know

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<v Speaker 4>what I mean. So it's interesting.

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<v Speaker 1>So as Harold your grandfather and Belli your grand.

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah, my dad was also named Herold also but yeah

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<v Speaker 9>the original rold All. Uh Mary though, who's blind my grandma?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh well, I love the history.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't wait to dig into this food. It looks delicious.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, thank you?

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<v Speaker 8>Uh try and true Uh recipes?

0:11:18.640 --> 0:11:20.120
<v Speaker 1>What would you say? Is like your top? Like what

0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:21.880
<v Speaker 1>are the people? What do the people think? Things that

0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:22.800
<v Speaker 1>people always come.

0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:29.160
<v Speaker 9>Back for Dumbo fried, cafish, propheciate you say mm, trimple boys?

0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:31.440
<v Speaker 8>Uh Begnet's and breakfast.

0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:32.959
<v Speaker 4>I didn't know that.

0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Hym, we're getting the Nye's what fast, bitch?

0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:40.520
<v Speaker 4>I got smoke a blind in the parking lot to

0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:41.160
<v Speaker 4>make more room.

0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:42.360
<v Speaker 1>What is happening?

0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:47.320
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so so so much. I'm excited to to

0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:47.760
<v Speaker 2>dig in.

0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:59.160
<v Speaker 8>Welcome, You're welcome. Happy to have you guys.

0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:04.800
<v Speaker 4>It was lovely, This food is lovely.

0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:05.440
<v Speaker 7>I know.

0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:09.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm so grateful to be in the space, this black owned,

0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:13.559
<v Speaker 3>family owned landmark space, and here the history is really beautiful.

0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:14.160
<v Speaker 4>I know.

0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:19.319
<v Speaker 2>I think we forget like that Black people in America

0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:25.520
<v Speaker 2>is relatively recently and just remembered to actually like investigate

0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:28.040
<v Speaker 2>the history of where you are and how you got there,

0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.920
<v Speaker 2>because honestly, it's so divine, you know when I think

0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:35.960
<v Speaker 2>about just the divine interventions and meetings of just people

0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:39.920
<v Speaker 2>intersecting and creating ideas and birthing businesses that you know,

0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:44.199
<v Speaker 2>withstand the test of time, and they're still here and

0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:47.480
<v Speaker 2>they're still feeding us, like spiritually and physically, but like

0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.160
<v Speaker 2>even with us, you know, and like how we got

0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:54.280
<v Speaker 2>to California by way of our parents and Ryan and

0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:56.840
<v Speaker 2>the things that we've created in this place and the

0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.400
<v Speaker 2>memories we've created and how it's shaped us. I think,

0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:03.680
<v Speaker 2>as black people shout out to February Black History Month,

0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:07.920
<v Speaker 2>wherever you live, investigate how your people got there and

0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:11.360
<v Speaker 2>who you are, and like how the migration of honestly,

0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:17.679
<v Speaker 2>like African chattel slavery has like migrated and impacted the

0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:21.920
<v Speaker 2>United States so significantly. I've been watching this show on Netflix,

0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:24.080
<v Speaker 2>Hog High on the Hog.

0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.000
<v Speaker 4>Just so you guys know, I'm a fucking foodie. Like

0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:29.679
<v Speaker 4>I know, I'm ninety eight pounds, but a.

0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:33.360
<v Speaker 2>Bitch eats a lot and specifically like soul food. I

0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:35.960
<v Speaker 2>can cook soul food really well, like I really.

0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:38.800
<v Speaker 4>Can throw down. So this is like near and dear

0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:39.360
<v Speaker 4>to my heart.

0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:43.640
<v Speaker 2>But just how that show really highlights how like African

0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:48.360
<v Speaker 2>Americans have impacted American cuisines so significantly through the slave

0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:52.199
<v Speaker 2>you know, that's through slavery, and you know just how

0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:54.840
<v Speaker 2>we've moved out of that and how we've blossomed because

0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't think we really take an account from a

0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:59.480
<v Speaker 2>day to day basis sometimes just.

0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:03.600
<v Speaker 4>Like oh shit, my grandmother or my great grandmother.

0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:05.880
<v Speaker 2>Just had privileges and they really, like I know, we're

0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:10.760
<v Speaker 2>figuring out ourselves and figuring out adulthood, but imagine imagine

0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:15.400
<v Speaker 2>figuring out adulthood and the guys of the Jim Crow

0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:19.160
<v Speaker 2>or like right after slavery when you haven't been able

0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:23.120
<v Speaker 2>had access to education and to all these things, you know,

0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:24.600
<v Speaker 2>and you just pack your shit up and say we're

0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:27.160
<v Speaker 2>going to California because I heard there's some jobs. Like

0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:31.320
<v Speaker 2>it'd be a day days long, you know, days and

0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.960
<v Speaker 2>days travel. You've not really just maybe got a car.

0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:38.280
<v Speaker 2>You know, you may get harassed in between. You can't

0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:42.000
<v Speaker 2>stay at every hotel. You probably have kids in tow

0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:45.280
<v Speaker 2>and the fear and then you show up in a

0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.720
<v Speaker 2>new place and you have to like soil, you.

0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:50.360
<v Speaker 4>Know, like you have to like make roots.

0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:54.400
<v Speaker 2>And the beautiful things that we've gotten from the strength

0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:58.280
<v Speaker 2>and the diligence of our ancestors is some real shit.

0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:00.160
<v Speaker 2>And I think when we can like hone in on

0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:04.320
<v Speaker 2>that information and investigate that history, it kind of reminds you,

0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:06.600
<v Speaker 2>like why the fuck you're here and how important like

0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:09.040
<v Speaker 2>your purpose is and whatever it is you do and

0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:12.240
<v Speaker 2>however you contribute, and like Ryan's family started a little

0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:14.360
<v Speaker 2>jup joint so they could like hang out and chill

0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:17.920
<v Speaker 2>and kick it, and it's still here, you know, serving us.

0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.920
<v Speaker 2>So I think it's important, you know, especially in this month,

0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:25.840
<v Speaker 2>especially all year, just to be curious about all the

0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.720
<v Speaker 2>things and like how you ended up where you're at,

0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:32.200
<v Speaker 2>and like imagine your daddy stayed in Texas, Like but

0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:33.640
<v Speaker 2>if you were a Texas.

0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:34.520
<v Speaker 4>Baby, who the fuck would you be?

0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:37.240
<v Speaker 2>Or if I was a Philly baby that stayed in Philly,

0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:38.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, right.

0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.200
<v Speaker 3>It Also as you're as you were talking, it was

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:46.080
<v Speaker 3>I was thinking about just the grace that we need

0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:51.960
<v Speaker 3>to extend sometimes to our grandparents, to even our parents,

0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.720
<v Speaker 3>because they are you know, the result of their parenting

0:15:55.000 --> 0:16:01.160
<v Speaker 3>and and what those not having the opportunity to work

0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:05.080
<v Speaker 3>on yourself because you're just trying to survive, and how

0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:08.680
<v Speaker 3>that manifests in how they've parented your parents or how

0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:12.000
<v Speaker 3>they parented your grandparents, and how that trickles down and

0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:13.200
<v Speaker 3>then we say, like why.

0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:14.520
<v Speaker 1>The fuck would you treat me this way? How could

0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:14.800
<v Speaker 1>you do this?

0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.560
<v Speaker 3>And it's like we're not really taking into consideration the

0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:22.560
<v Speaker 3>full scope of the trauma of being black in America.

0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:25.120
<v Speaker 2>It's true, and like the beauty of it is like

0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:27.800
<v Speaker 2>there's two sides to every point, right, Like there is

0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.840
<v Speaker 2>significant trauma and there is like this this place where

0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:34.200
<v Speaker 2>it's like I'm surviving and I'm trying to figure it out,

0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:35.680
<v Speaker 2>and I'm trying to make away from my family and

0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:38.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to you know, stay safe and stay alive

0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:40.920
<v Speaker 2>in a place where everybody really is trying to kill

0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:43.880
<v Speaker 2>me and make me like make me less than and

0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:46.280
<v Speaker 2>you know how that trauma builds on and how that

0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.560
<v Speaker 2>contributes to your parenting. I was watching a video yesterday

0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:53.160
<v Speaker 2>about like a football player like basically reading a letter

0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:55.800
<v Speaker 2>to his parents, you know, just like how he was

0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.200
<v Speaker 2>yelled at in the morning before school and like how

0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.400
<v Speaker 2>he's changing that and his you know, with his kids,

0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:03.920
<v Speaker 2>and so it's true, like the grace you have to

0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:07.480
<v Speaker 2>give is like imagine the anger, Imagine the fear, Imagine

0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:11.560
<v Speaker 2>the frustration and the rage living and existing like I can.

0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't even watch certain movies because I'm too emotional,

0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.000
<v Speaker 2>like about a certain period of time unless I'm really

0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.800
<v Speaker 2>mentally prepared for it. So imagine living in it and

0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:23.160
<v Speaker 2>then still having to be kind to your kids and

0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:27.719
<v Speaker 2>compassionate and soft and being scared but still having to

0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:31.160
<v Speaker 2>be brave and being scared, but still moving into neighborhoods

0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:34.840
<v Speaker 2>where people were literally trying to harass you and getting

0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:35.879
<v Speaker 2>away with it.

0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:37.840
<v Speaker 4>And also like thinking about.

0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:43.439
<v Speaker 2>Ryan and his great grandparents making this place for play, right,

0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:46.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, still making a place to like we're gonna

0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:50.399
<v Speaker 2>have our place, but inside these walls it's and we're

0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:53.000
<v Speaker 2>gonna we're gonna commune and we're gonna drink and we're

0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:56.720
<v Speaker 2>gonna dance, and we're gonna celebrate life despite all the bullshit,

0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:00.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, despite the journey here, and that's really beautiful too,

0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:02.919
<v Speaker 2>and even like thinking about this place starting here, you know,

0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:08.240
<v Speaker 2>this new, this this Los Angeles establishing this place this

0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.960
<v Speaker 2>side of town as New Orleans Quarters or whatever, like

0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:15.879
<v Speaker 2>from here to the church, how deeply spirituality has served

0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:19.359
<v Speaker 2>in our community and specifically New Orleans is like a

0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:23.520
<v Speaker 2>witchy but Catholic place, and you know, the the intersection

0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:27.120
<v Speaker 2>of religion and spiritual spiritualism and how like I think

0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:30.560
<v Speaker 2>it's coming back. Whereas before it was really scary, everything

0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:32.399
<v Speaker 2>witchy or everything was very separate.

0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:34.399
<v Speaker 1>There was no there wasn't we weren't allowed to intersect

0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:35.119
<v Speaker 1>those two things.

0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:37.520
<v Speaker 2>Well because well but I think that's a part of

0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:43.160
<v Speaker 2>the scheme, the gimmick, right because inevitably, as a Black American,

0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.480
<v Speaker 2>you have your African culture and religion that is probably

0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:52.240
<v Speaker 2>what we now call label witchy or magic. And then

0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:55.399
<v Speaker 2>we have this the we have this rigid form of

0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:58.160
<v Speaker 2>Christianity which was you know, nine times out of ten

0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:01.240
<v Speaker 2>provided to you by your slave owners. And then we've

0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:04.560
<v Speaker 2>meshed it and we've covered it in those things, and

0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:06.919
<v Speaker 2>like just to recoming back to that in general, like

0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:09.159
<v Speaker 2>as even us you know, on this journey in the

0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:11.320
<v Speaker 2>last six years, like I don't think I mean, I

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:12.879
<v Speaker 2>think I've always been a witch, but I don't know

0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:15.880
<v Speaker 2>if I was like out loud self proclaiming that I'm

0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:19.359
<v Speaker 2>a witch five years ago. You know, but this journey

0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:24.159
<v Speaker 2>has kind of an unheedled like this part of me,

0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.240
<v Speaker 2>and I think it's just a return to our roots.

0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:28.040
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:29.840
<v Speaker 4>It's like I'm not scared of that, Like this is

0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:30.600
<v Speaker 4>actually my shit.

0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:34.880
<v Speaker 2>But I'd like to give a little toast to our

0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:38.040
<v Speaker 2>ancestors and to the journey here and our journey here

0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:43.680
<v Speaker 2>and just the divine, just the divine intervention in our

0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:47.280
<v Speaker 2>lives that if we honor it can really birth beautiful

0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:49.160
<v Speaker 2>things that last a really long time.

0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:51.639
<v Speaker 7>It is.

0:19:55.280 --> 0:19:58.800
<v Speaker 4>So speaking of witchy shit, it's.

0:19:58.680 --> 0:20:05.280
<v Speaker 2>Terole time where because we travel with our Chao cards everywhere. Literally,

0:20:05.280 --> 0:20:07.240
<v Speaker 2>I have my other like may pack in my purse.

0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:10.440
<v Speaker 2>I always say this, but it's also like a party

0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:14.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, it's also it's also like a party trick.

0:20:14.359 --> 0:20:16.119
<v Speaker 4>Like, oh, everybody's poor. Do you want to Oh, I'm Mila.

0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:17.679
<v Speaker 1>You want to know my you want to know my?

0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:25.879
<v Speaker 4>Want to have my purse? Can things like cat crawling

0:20:25.920 --> 0:20:32.080
<v Speaker 4>under the card? I love it? But what better place

0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:33.360
<v Speaker 4>do you want these cards?

0:20:33.440 --> 0:20:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Sure, we'll take those cards. I need to be in

0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:35.880
<v Speaker 1>the tack.

0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:39.320
<v Speaker 4>Usually when they usually when they fall out.

0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:39.919
<v Speaker 1>I know I use them.

0:20:39.920 --> 0:20:43.000
<v Speaker 3>We're gonna use off for all five of those cars.

0:20:43.080 --> 0:20:44.840
<v Speaker 10>Those are the cards, and then I'm let you choose

0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:58.760
<v Speaker 10>one of the fun Okay, okay, hmm, I know it.

0:20:59.200 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 4>Why'd you know it?

0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:00.639
<v Speaker 1>I'll just knew it.

0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:05.439
<v Speaker 4>There's a eight of sorts, okay, eight of sorts?

0:21:06.760 --> 0:21:09.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't I've pulled this one a few different times.

0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:10.399
<v Speaker 4>This is the season.

0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:13.080
<v Speaker 3>Well, I saw it when it fell and then I

0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:14.639
<v Speaker 3>when you when you laid them out, I was like,

0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:15.280
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna.

0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:18.520
<v Speaker 1>Get that one. Okay that doesn't know No, No, it's

0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:18.960
<v Speaker 1>a good one.

0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:19.560
<v Speaker 4>It's not bad.

0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay. So you see the eight of Sorts shout out

0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:24.120
<v Speaker 1>to mahogany Taro.

0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:29.040
<v Speaker 3>And if I remember correctly and we can flee, should

0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:32.199
<v Speaker 3>pull up BDDY because I don't remember everything. But in

0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:35.360
<v Speaker 3>the Eight of Swords, there's a woman that's h bound

0:21:36.240 --> 0:21:39.119
<v Speaker 3>and then there's this beautiful castle behind her, and she

0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:41.000
<v Speaker 3>feels like she doesn't have any options. But all she

0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:44.439
<v Speaker 3>has to do is untie herself and turn around and

0:21:44.480 --> 0:21:47.119
<v Speaker 3>she could be free, but she feels like she's stuck

0:21:47.119 --> 0:21:49.359
<v Speaker 3>in the confines of whatever situation she's in, and she

0:21:49.400 --> 0:21:52.440
<v Speaker 3>feels like she's stuck. But really it's it's a mind shift,

0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:55.399
<v Speaker 3>and it's really about shifting your mindset and knowing that

0:21:55.440 --> 0:21:56.240
<v Speaker 3>you have options.

0:21:58.560 --> 0:22:01.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, let me read no, Yeah, that's what it says.

0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:06.679
<v Speaker 2>It says negative thoughts, self imposed restriction, imprisonment, victim, mentality.

0:22:08.080 --> 0:22:13.159
<v Speaker 2>The aid of Swords reveals that you feel trapped and restricted.

0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:13.760
<v Speaker 4>By your circumstances.

0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:16.359
<v Speaker 2>Hmm, it's interesting that we were just talking about the

0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:20.439
<v Speaker 2>circumstances of growing up black in America. You believe your

0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:23.280
<v Speaker 2>options are limited with no clear path out. You might

0:22:23.320 --> 0:22:26.960
<v Speaker 2>be in an unfulfilling job, an abusive relationship, a significant

0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:29.520
<v Speaker 2>amount of debt, or a situation way out of alignment

0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:32.359
<v Speaker 2>with your inner being. You are now trapped between a

0:22:32.440 --> 0:22:35.959
<v Speaker 2>rock and a hard place with no resolution available. However,

0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:38.040
<v Speaker 2>take note, but the woman in the card is not

0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:40.919
<v Speaker 2>entirely imprisoned by the aid of Swords around her, and

0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:42.720
<v Speaker 2>if she wanted to escape, she could.

0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:44.640
<v Speaker 4>She merely needs to move.

0:22:44.520 --> 0:22:48.359
<v Speaker 2>That blindfold and free herself from the self imposed bindings

0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:51.080
<v Speaker 2>that hold her back. When the aid of Swords appears

0:22:51.119 --> 0:22:53.280
<v Speaker 2>in Tara reading, it comes as a warning that your

0:22:53.320 --> 0:22:56.600
<v Speaker 2>thoughts and beliefs are no longer serving you. You may

0:22:56.760 --> 0:23:00.480
<v Speaker 2>be overthinking things, creating negative patterns, or limiting yourself only

0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:03.480
<v Speaker 2>considering the worst case scenario. The more you think about

0:23:03.480 --> 0:23:06.000
<v Speaker 2>the situation, the more you feel stuck and without any options.

0:23:06.400 --> 0:23:08.159
<v Speaker 2>It is time to get out of your head and

0:23:08.280 --> 0:23:10.960
<v Speaker 2>let go of those thoughts and beliefs holding you back.

0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:13.840
<v Speaker 4>As you change your thoughts, you change your reality.

0:23:14.840 --> 0:23:18.639
<v Speaker 3>HM that's received and resonate with that.

0:23:19.640 --> 0:23:24.680
<v Speaker 2>It feels sometimes like you can't get out of fucking situations,

0:23:24.720 --> 0:23:26.080
<v Speaker 2>but it is, It is always.

0:23:26.160 --> 0:23:27.720
<v Speaker 4>There is always a brighter side.

0:23:27.840 --> 0:23:30.840
<v Speaker 2>And like the things that we are usually battling with

0:23:30.920 --> 0:23:33.840
<v Speaker 2>or that are like suffocating us, are generally.

0:23:35.200 --> 0:23:36.040
<v Speaker 4>Not that serious.

0:23:36.480 --> 0:23:38.600
<v Speaker 3>Yes, but you have to make a choice though, and

0:23:38.640 --> 0:23:42.240
<v Speaker 3>you act. You have to actively change or work on

0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:44.480
<v Speaker 3>changing your mind. And that's and that's really uncomfortable. And

0:23:44.480 --> 0:23:46.000
<v Speaker 3>I think that's why a lot of people get stuck

0:23:46.520 --> 0:23:49.320
<v Speaker 3>in whatever mind state or whatever state of mind that

0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:54.320
<v Speaker 3>they're in, because it requires you to actually move against

0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:58.439
<v Speaker 3>whatever limiting belief system that's been serving you for however

0:23:58.520 --> 0:24:01.080
<v Speaker 3>long or not serving you. But it requires you to

0:24:01.119 --> 0:24:03.560
<v Speaker 3>get uncomfortable, and I think that's often the hardest part,

0:24:03.600 --> 0:24:05.639
<v Speaker 3>and that's why people don't That's why people get stuck

0:24:05.640 --> 0:24:09.160
<v Speaker 3>and that's why people who continue to I guess, suffer

0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:13.199
<v Speaker 3>essentially because there's a short term suffering that has to

0:24:13.240 --> 0:24:15.480
<v Speaker 3>occur in order for the mind shift to happen, and

0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:16.560
<v Speaker 3>people aren't willing to just.

0:24:16.560 --> 0:24:17.080
<v Speaker 4>Get out of it.

0:24:17.200 --> 0:24:19.439
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well, people aren't willing to get uncomfortable and for

0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:22.240
<v Speaker 3>it to hurt a little bit. We're such in a

0:24:22.280 --> 0:24:25.520
<v Speaker 3>society that we're always like numbing ourselves down with all

0:24:25.520 --> 0:24:30.439
<v Speaker 3>different types of things, whether it's drugs, alcohol, television, distraction relationships.

0:24:30.680 --> 0:24:35.280
<v Speaker 3>There's a numbing that we've become accustomed to where that's

0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:38.640
<v Speaker 3>the easier thing. We'd rather do that than actually rip

0:24:38.680 --> 0:24:41.159
<v Speaker 3>off the band aid and get really uncomfortable for a

0:24:41.200 --> 0:24:43.160
<v Speaker 3>few months. And that's what I was telling my friend

0:24:43.160 --> 0:24:45.959
<v Speaker 3>that the other day. I was like, you can just like,

0:24:46.280 --> 0:24:48.640
<v Speaker 3>if you could just commit to be uncomfortable for six months,

0:24:48.640 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 3>it could totally change your fucking life, just to commit

0:24:52.119 --> 0:24:55.080
<v Speaker 3>to being uncomfortable for six months out of the long

0:24:55.160 --> 0:24:57.119
<v Speaker 3>ass life that you were about to live and just

0:24:57.119 --> 0:24:58.040
<v Speaker 3>see what happens.

0:24:58.520 --> 0:24:59.360
<v Speaker 4>The thing about.

0:24:59.200 --> 0:25:03.200
<v Speaker 2>Numbing yourself is that we live in a society that

0:25:03.200 --> 0:25:06.680
<v Speaker 2>that is the programming you have to actively fight out

0:25:06.680 --> 0:25:09.919
<v Speaker 2>of not only the numbing, but the misery, like making

0:25:09.960 --> 0:25:11.840
<v Speaker 2>the misery a part of your story, you know what

0:25:11.880 --> 0:25:16.240
<v Speaker 2>I mean, Like we actively live your default inner voice

0:25:16.320 --> 0:25:19.080
<v Speaker 2>is probably negative unless you actively.

0:25:18.640 --> 0:25:22.040
<v Speaker 4>Work out of it. Because everything in our programming, everything.

0:25:21.720 --> 0:25:23.280
<v Speaker 2>In our environment is going to tell you you're not

0:25:23.280 --> 0:25:26.199
<v Speaker 2>good enough, you're not beautiful enough. It's too difficult, it's

0:25:26.280 --> 0:25:29.359
<v Speaker 2>too far fetch, it's not possible. Because that's kind of

0:25:29.359 --> 0:25:31.840
<v Speaker 2>how they want you to feel. Because if everybody knew

0:25:31.880 --> 0:25:35.639
<v Speaker 2>that they were magic, then we'd all be doing everything

0:25:35.680 --> 0:25:39.119
<v Speaker 2>we need and that would really benefit the powers that be.

0:25:39.840 --> 0:25:43.560
<v Speaker 2>And so I think that, like sometimes the numbing starts

0:25:43.600 --> 0:25:46.159
<v Speaker 2>early because think about it. As a child, you're just

0:25:46.240 --> 0:25:52.720
<v Speaker 2>like this big you know, like you go, our kids

0:25:52.720 --> 0:25:55.280
<v Speaker 2>will fucking play out a whole imaginary scene right here

0:25:55.280 --> 0:25:56.760
<v Speaker 2>and don't give a fuck who's in here.

0:25:57.000 --> 0:25:58.760
<v Speaker 4>But are we going to do that? Probably not?

0:25:58.880 --> 0:26:07.440
<v Speaker 2>I mean yeah, yeah, but most people don't have that

0:26:09.080 --> 0:26:13.159
<v Speaker 2>bravery to do that. And it's it's this revolving door

0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:19.880
<v Speaker 2>of pain and Buddhism they say, like conflict is conflict

0:26:19.920 --> 0:26:22.440
<v Speaker 2>is expected, Suffering is optional.

0:26:24.040 --> 0:26:25.120
<v Speaker 4>Suffering is optional.

0:26:25.720 --> 0:26:29.439
<v Speaker 2>We're going to feel whatever the emotion is that is

0:26:29.480 --> 0:26:34.879
<v Speaker 2>behind whatever obstacle, but for how long and just generally

0:26:36.000 --> 0:26:38.800
<v Speaker 2>listen to the way you think and pay attention to

0:26:38.840 --> 0:26:41.360
<v Speaker 2>how you feel, because that's where the numbing comes in, right,

0:26:41.480 --> 0:26:43.200
<v Speaker 2>because if you don't pay attention to how you feel,

0:26:43.200 --> 0:26:43.880
<v Speaker 2>then you're just numb.

0:26:44.320 --> 0:26:47.120
<v Speaker 3>And also taking into account, like if we're talking about too,

0:26:47.240 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 3>just like the history of our people and like the

0:26:49.359 --> 0:26:53.640
<v Speaker 3>numbing that we've had to we've had to, we've had

0:26:53.680 --> 0:26:57.480
<v Speaker 3>to enact in order to survive, and then like trying

0:26:57.480 --> 0:26:59.040
<v Speaker 3>to unnumb those.

0:26:58.880 --> 0:27:00.040
<v Speaker 1>Parts of you.

0:27:00.040 --> 0:27:02.440
<v Speaker 3>You don't even know our numb because you've never even

0:27:02.480 --> 0:27:04.760
<v Speaker 3>known what it is to feel in that space anymore.

0:27:05.200 --> 0:27:07.280
<v Speaker 3>And I think like the beginning of that is really

0:27:07.320 --> 0:27:10.920
<v Speaker 3>looking at your parents and seeing where are you numbed out?

0:27:11.240 --> 0:27:13.560
<v Speaker 1>Because nine times out of ten, that's also where you are?

0:27:13.880 --> 0:27:16.520
<v Speaker 2>And how have I adopted them?

0:27:16.720 --> 0:27:16.920
<v Speaker 1>Right?

0:27:16.960 --> 0:27:19.600
<v Speaker 2>Because even if you don't fuck with your parents, if

0:27:19.600 --> 0:27:23.320
<v Speaker 2>you were raised with them, you were inevitably adopting.

0:27:23.320 --> 0:27:24.000
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm saying.

0:27:25.280 --> 0:27:27.680
<v Speaker 3>However, they are numbed out, you need to evaluate if

0:27:27.720 --> 0:27:29.840
<v Speaker 3>that's how you are as well, because nine times out

0:27:29.880 --> 0:27:34.359
<v Speaker 3>of ten, yeah, probably, or sometimes instead of doing that,

0:27:34.400 --> 0:27:36.720
<v Speaker 3>we go the total opposite, right, Like we go the

0:27:36.720 --> 0:27:39.960
<v Speaker 3>total extreme, like our parents totally neglected us, and now

0:27:40.080 --> 0:27:43.119
<v Speaker 3>like as parents, we are helicopter ass parents over our

0:27:43.200 --> 0:27:45.119
<v Speaker 3>children because we were so neglected as children.

0:27:45.440 --> 0:27:46.000
<v Speaker 1>So it's like.

0:27:47.560 --> 0:27:51.840
<v Speaker 3>Investigating and then understanding how this is showing up in

0:27:51.880 --> 0:27:55.720
<v Speaker 3>my life, in my body, in my relationships, and then

0:27:56.119 --> 0:27:58.680
<v Speaker 3>changing it, and then and then being okay and knowing

0:27:58.720 --> 0:28:04.280
<v Speaker 3>that the change reply's time, knowing that it requires patience, practice, practice,

0:28:04.320 --> 0:28:04.720
<v Speaker 3>and pain.

0:28:05.200 --> 0:28:05.440
<v Speaker 1>Pain.

0:28:05.840 --> 0:28:07.280
<v Speaker 4>It's going to be uncomfortable.

0:28:07.520 --> 0:28:13.440
<v Speaker 2>I was telling Erica recently, Luna was like doing something

0:28:13.480 --> 0:28:15.200
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, give me a hug, Come give

0:28:15.200 --> 0:28:17.320
<v Speaker 2>me a hug, and Orlando was like please, and I

0:28:17.400 --> 0:28:20.040
<v Speaker 2>was like, shut the fuck up, Like I've just broke

0:28:20.160 --> 0:28:22.639
<v Speaker 2>this person came out of my pussy, so you need

0:28:22.680 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 2>to shut the fuck up about when I'm demanding hugs.

0:28:26.000 --> 0:28:27.600
<v Speaker 2>And I had told him that later, like I really

0:28:27.600 --> 0:28:29.720
<v Speaker 2>hate when you do that, because I was like, tantrik speech,

0:28:29.760 --> 0:28:31.720
<v Speaker 2>tantrik speech. I'm like, sometimes you just need to shut

0:28:31.720 --> 0:28:34.199
<v Speaker 2>the fuck up, like don't use me on me. But

0:28:34.440 --> 0:28:36.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, he said to me something that was kind

0:28:36.320 --> 0:28:38.920
<v Speaker 2>of profound, and I was high when he told me,

0:28:38.960 --> 0:28:40.760
<v Speaker 2>so maybe it just made me go even deeper. But

0:28:40.880 --> 0:28:44.000
<v Speaker 2>he was just like, it's not that you know, and

0:28:44.040 --> 0:28:45.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm not trying to interfere, and maybe I shouldn't do

0:28:45.840 --> 0:28:47.520
<v Speaker 2>it in that way, but you don't want her to

0:28:47.520 --> 0:28:50.840
<v Speaker 2>get used to even something that you're requesting and love

0:28:51.320 --> 0:28:55.160
<v Speaker 2>feel hard or feel demanding. And that's the thing with

0:28:55.200 --> 0:28:58.880
<v Speaker 2>tantic speech, like it takes a demand and it makes

0:28:58.920 --> 0:29:02.240
<v Speaker 2>it a request consciously just by being like please, can

0:29:02.280 --> 0:29:03.320
<v Speaker 2>you please panent me?

0:29:03.440 --> 0:29:04.000
<v Speaker 4>Can you thank you?

0:29:04.200 --> 0:29:06.160
<v Speaker 2>Like and I'd like to say I'm the Queen of finesse,

0:29:06.440 --> 0:29:08.680
<v Speaker 2>but with people close to me, we forget, you know,

0:29:08.760 --> 0:29:10.560
<v Speaker 2>like give me that, give me a kiss, do that

0:29:10.600 --> 0:29:13.760
<v Speaker 2>for me. And so it made me really seep deeply

0:29:13.800 --> 0:29:17.680
<v Speaker 2>into that statement, and it made me realize, like I

0:29:17.760 --> 0:29:21.200
<v Speaker 2>generally don't I don't want, I don't like to speak

0:29:21.240 --> 0:29:26.200
<v Speaker 2>this permanency over my who I am. But I don't

0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:29.480
<v Speaker 2>really have the tools sometimes to be soft, because that's

0:29:29.480 --> 0:29:30.760
<v Speaker 2>not how I was spoken to as a.

0:29:30.800 --> 0:29:32.040
<v Speaker 4>Child, you know.

0:29:32.160 --> 0:29:34.080
<v Speaker 2>And so I'm like, yeah, give me a kiss, and

0:29:34.160 --> 0:29:36.720
<v Speaker 2>it is loving, but this is how I'm asking for it,

0:29:36.800 --> 0:29:37.040
<v Speaker 2>you know.

0:29:37.240 --> 0:29:38.600
<v Speaker 4>And like just.

0:29:38.760 --> 0:29:42.480
<v Speaker 2>Being honest with myself about how I speak to Luna,

0:29:42.600 --> 0:29:46.320
<v Speaker 2>even if it's in love, how it feels, what vibration

0:29:46.440 --> 0:29:49.600
<v Speaker 2>it's giving by the words I'm choosing by not saying

0:29:49.640 --> 0:29:52.920
<v Speaker 2>please or thank you because I'm feeling like i'm saying

0:29:52.920 --> 0:29:55.760
<v Speaker 2>something in love. I'm actually asking for what I need,

0:29:56.040 --> 0:29:58.920
<v Speaker 2>but not asking for it kindly, and it creates this

0:29:59.000 --> 0:30:03.400
<v Speaker 2>weird environ around the very thing that is loving. And

0:30:03.440 --> 0:30:05.680
<v Speaker 2>it made me realize like, oh my god, Like this

0:30:05.720 --> 0:30:08.600
<v Speaker 2>is a big issue for me because this is what

0:30:08.640 --> 0:30:10.880
<v Speaker 2>I was exposed to. This is literally the only way

0:30:10.920 --> 0:30:13.120
<v Speaker 2>I know how to express myself. And even for me,

0:30:13.200 --> 0:30:14.920
<v Speaker 2>like asking for dick, I'm like, give me some dick.

0:30:17.680 --> 0:30:19.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, Wow, I'm not sexy at all.

0:30:19.160 --> 0:30:24.520
<v Speaker 1>You know, there's no sexy.

0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:27.760
<v Speaker 4>Take that out, but I did.

0:30:27.800 --> 0:30:31.080
<v Speaker 2>It's like it was this moment of clarity and I

0:30:31.120 --> 0:30:34.000
<v Speaker 2>was just like, wow, I have to work on this

0:30:34.200 --> 0:30:36.480
<v Speaker 2>because I don't want that to be the undertone to

0:30:36.680 --> 0:30:38.840
<v Speaker 2>all of my relationships with people that I love.

0:30:39.680 --> 0:30:42.000
<v Speaker 4>And that can very much be the case, but it's true.

0:30:42.000 --> 0:30:45.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean, investigate and examine the places our parents came from,

0:30:45.760 --> 0:30:47.360
<v Speaker 2>even us what we do right now.

0:30:47.600 --> 0:30:50.480
<v Speaker 4>Our parents are like what the fuck are you doing?

0:30:51.160 --> 0:30:53.240
<v Speaker 4>You know, like, and I'm like this is important.

0:30:53.280 --> 0:30:56.640
<v Speaker 2>They're like, you know, you, whatever the fuck it is

0:30:56.680 --> 0:30:57.800
<v Speaker 2>you guys, you're doing over there on.

0:30:57.800 --> 0:31:02.840
<v Speaker 4>Stage, barely clothes, cucumbers in people's mouths, with them on

0:31:02.960 --> 0:31:03.600
<v Speaker 4>all floors.

0:31:03.640 --> 0:31:05.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't get it, and I can see how they

0:31:05.840 --> 0:31:09.920
<v Speaker 2>can be misconstrued when you come from an environment that

0:31:09.960 --> 0:31:12.560
<v Speaker 2>you have not where you've had to survive and you've

0:31:12.560 --> 0:31:16.280
<v Speaker 2>had to protect yourself and you've had to be weary

0:31:16.320 --> 0:31:16.880
<v Speaker 2>of people.

0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:20.800
<v Speaker 1>So it's so funny, yes, because I feel like.

0:31:22.560 --> 0:31:25.520
<v Speaker 3>Our parents have a hard time, and not even just

0:31:26.040 --> 0:31:29.120
<v Speaker 3>our parents, parents in general sometimes have a hard time

0:31:29.160 --> 0:31:33.560
<v Speaker 3>witnessing their children in play as adults, you know, because

0:31:33.600 --> 0:31:37.080
<v Speaker 3>they didn't get to experience that type of play. And however,

0:31:37.160 --> 0:31:39.640
<v Speaker 3>they've worked hard because they wanted to provide a life

0:31:39.640 --> 0:31:42.800
<v Speaker 3>for their children could experience something different, right, And then

0:31:42.840 --> 0:31:46.600
<v Speaker 3>they are experiencing it, but it's not maybe not exactly

0:31:46.680 --> 0:31:48.640
<v Speaker 3>how they expected them to experience it.

0:31:49.000 --> 0:31:51.360
<v Speaker 1>And then they're like, what are you doing? Why are

0:31:51.360 --> 0:31:51.760
<v Speaker 1>you doing that?

0:31:52.040 --> 0:31:53.440
<v Speaker 3>And this is a conversation I've had to have with

0:31:53.440 --> 0:31:55.680
<v Speaker 3>my moms too, because there was a time where I

0:31:55.720 --> 0:32:00.520
<v Speaker 3>was traveling a lot and for leisure and she had

0:32:00.520 --> 0:32:02.920
<v Speaker 3>a problem with it, and I was just like, is

0:32:02.920 --> 0:32:05.680
<v Speaker 3>it this why you've worked so hard so that I

0:32:05.800 --> 0:32:08.800
<v Speaker 3>you always complained that your youth well, she traveled a

0:32:08.800 --> 0:32:11.440
<v Speaker 3>lot before she had me, and then her life.

0:32:11.280 --> 0:32:11.960
<v Speaker 1>Kind of went to shit.

0:32:13.240 --> 0:32:17.200
<v Speaker 3>I did it, But my mom was pretty living a

0:32:17.240 --> 0:32:20.360
<v Speaker 3>real good life before me. She was dating like cheeks

0:32:20.360 --> 0:32:22.320
<v Speaker 3>and shit and princes and she needs.

0:32:22.120 --> 0:32:23.360
<v Speaker 1>To write her own book about all that.

0:32:23.520 --> 0:32:25.400
<v Speaker 3>And then she met a football player and he fucking

0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:28.520
<v Speaker 3>downgradr downgraded her from her Saudi raping lifestyle.

0:32:28.800 --> 0:32:29.720
<v Speaker 4>The athletes, guys.

0:32:32.720 --> 0:32:36.760
<v Speaker 3>But you know, when she had me, like, she sacrificed

0:32:36.840 --> 0:32:39.440
<v Speaker 3>a lot. She didn't get to enjoy herself. She didn't

0:32:39.440 --> 0:32:42.560
<v Speaker 3>get to travel for leisure. And she's worked incredibly hard

0:32:42.560 --> 0:32:45.560
<v Speaker 3>to build a lifestyle for her family and her children

0:32:45.960 --> 0:32:48.040
<v Speaker 3>so that they don't have to do that, you know.

0:32:48.160 --> 0:32:49.680
<v Speaker 3>And so I had to remind her of that. I

0:32:49.720 --> 0:32:52.600
<v Speaker 3>was like, first of all, Mom, this is my money.

0:32:52.800 --> 0:32:55.719
<v Speaker 3>Second of all, Mom, didn't you work really hard so

0:32:55.760 --> 0:32:58.320
<v Speaker 3>that we could experience and not have to suffer and

0:32:58.360 --> 0:33:01.120
<v Speaker 3>not have to stay put because we have to do

0:33:01.480 --> 0:33:03.760
<v Speaker 3>because we have to put our heads down and work hard.

0:33:03.800 --> 0:33:06.400
<v Speaker 3>And granted, I'm gonna do that anyway. I'm doing that anyway.

0:33:06.440 --> 0:33:08.600
<v Speaker 3>I'm of you. I'm a hard ass working bitch because

0:33:08.640 --> 0:33:11.160
<v Speaker 3>of you. But I had to remind her of that.

0:33:11.200 --> 0:33:12.320
<v Speaker 3>And she didn't even know what to say to me.

0:33:12.400 --> 0:33:14.560
<v Speaker 3>She was just like and I was like.

0:33:14.520 --> 0:33:16.600
<v Speaker 4>Got me there be med.

0:33:17.520 --> 0:33:20.640
<v Speaker 3>And it's funny because I the more I talk to

0:33:21.640 --> 0:33:23.960
<v Speaker 3>other women and they have the same thing to say

0:33:23.960 --> 0:33:26.560
<v Speaker 3>about their parents as well. There's a judgment around, like

0:33:26.960 --> 0:33:30.040
<v Speaker 3>what type of what you seek as pleasure, what you

0:33:30.080 --> 0:33:33.280
<v Speaker 3>seek as joy, what you seek is fun and the time,

0:33:34.000 --> 0:33:37.400
<v Speaker 3>it's like a time limit to how much energy you

0:33:37.440 --> 0:33:40.360
<v Speaker 3>can put into those things, Like that's a little too much.

0:33:40.360 --> 0:33:42.560
<v Speaker 1>You're going a little too hard with the joy over there.

0:33:42.960 --> 0:33:44.880
<v Speaker 2>Well, the thing is, and I say this all the time,

0:33:44.920 --> 0:33:48.840
<v Speaker 2>and I've said this, it's joy and leisure like ease

0:33:49.320 --> 0:33:55.920
<v Speaker 2>is a foreign concept to black people, to immigrants, to

0:33:56.360 --> 0:33:57.440
<v Speaker 2>children of immigrants.

0:33:57.480 --> 0:33:59.760
<v Speaker 4>It is literally a foreign concept.

0:34:00.160 --> 0:34:04.280
<v Speaker 11>And because we're children of those people, we existed in

0:34:04.320 --> 0:34:06.920
<v Speaker 11>their bodies before we existed in these bodies, and so

0:34:07.120 --> 0:34:11.000
<v Speaker 11>we have inherited those feelings for protection.

0:34:11.200 --> 0:34:16.560
<v Speaker 4>That is biologically, that's how we are made. If something,

0:34:16.640 --> 0:34:17.799
<v Speaker 4>if you have lived in a.

0:34:17.760 --> 0:34:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Life where you would be murdered for too loud play joy,

0:34:22.120 --> 0:34:26.120
<v Speaker 2>and so your kids are born with the instincts to

0:34:26.200 --> 0:34:28.680
<v Speaker 2>know you don't go too hard in play. And so

0:34:28.920 --> 0:34:35.280
<v Speaker 2>I've realized like fighting for safety, fighting to feel safe,

0:34:35.320 --> 0:34:38.800
<v Speaker 2>fighting to regulate my nervous system, fighting.

0:34:38.480 --> 0:34:40.560
<v Speaker 4>To be aware of.

0:34:41.920 --> 0:34:44.960
<v Speaker 2>When the guilt of play comes up, because this is

0:34:45.000 --> 0:34:47.480
<v Speaker 2>how I've been programmed, and how my parents have been programmed,

0:34:47.480 --> 0:34:50.160
<v Speaker 2>and how their parents have been programmed, and that actually

0:34:50.440 --> 0:34:58.160
<v Speaker 2>playing is releasing generational curses. Playing is healing, it's healing generational.

0:34:57.560 --> 0:34:59.839
<v Speaker 4>Wounds, because these are the things that.

0:34:59.760 --> 0:35:03.360
<v Speaker 2>Are ancestors did not get the opportunity to plan and

0:35:03.440 --> 0:35:05.439
<v Speaker 2>play doesn't look like this or like that.

0:35:05.520 --> 0:35:07.279
<v Speaker 4>It looks like how the fuck it looks for you,

0:35:07.600 --> 0:35:09.520
<v Speaker 4>because only you can deem what's fun for you.

0:35:10.400 --> 0:35:14.440
<v Speaker 2>And like even with Orlando, it is so happy all

0:35:14.480 --> 0:35:17.440
<v Speaker 2>the time and has like so much joy and so

0:35:17.480 --> 0:35:21.440
<v Speaker 2>many ideas, and sometimes I'm like working and I'm like,

0:35:21.560 --> 0:35:23.640
<v Speaker 2>shut the fuck up, it's too much right now, Like

0:35:23.680 --> 0:35:26.400
<v Speaker 2>I need to schedule your joy and I need to

0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:28.839
<v Speaker 2>schedule your ideas because I don't have time for your

0:35:28.840 --> 0:35:29.560
<v Speaker 2>ideas right now.

0:35:30.360 --> 0:35:32.000
<v Speaker 4>And I didn't like that one, so now I'm definitely

0:35:32.040 --> 0:35:32.560
<v Speaker 4>can't hear you.

0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:36.120
<v Speaker 2>But it's it's made me work on myself because I'm like,

0:35:36.200 --> 0:35:39.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm showing up as a bitch. And there was times

0:35:39.480 --> 0:35:41.040
<v Speaker 2>as a kid I saw my mom show up, which

0:35:41.040 --> 0:35:42.480
<v Speaker 2>I thought was a bitch, and I was like, what

0:35:42.520 --> 0:35:44.799
<v Speaker 2>the fuck is her problem? And only because I had

0:35:44.800 --> 0:35:47.479
<v Speaker 2>those conscious thoughts, can I apply them now? And even

0:35:47.520 --> 0:35:51.040
<v Speaker 2>in love, like I'm in a very healthy, loving relationship,

0:35:51.520 --> 0:35:54.400
<v Speaker 2>and still like the first year, I was just like

0:35:55.280 --> 0:35:58.759
<v Speaker 2>waiting for him to fuck it up because I don't

0:35:58.800 --> 0:36:03.480
<v Speaker 2>feel safe being I didn't feel normal being normal, like

0:36:03.600 --> 0:36:06.000
<v Speaker 2>we all work to have these normal lives and be

0:36:06.040 --> 0:36:07.759
<v Speaker 2>able to play and be able to travel and have

0:36:07.840 --> 0:36:10.160
<v Speaker 2>kids and do this thing and be in love and

0:36:10.239 --> 0:36:12.480
<v Speaker 2>like be cheesy, and then you get there and you're like,

0:36:12.520 --> 0:36:13.319
<v Speaker 2>something's wrong here.

0:36:13.320 --> 0:36:14.200
<v Speaker 4>It doesn't feel right.

0:36:14.320 --> 0:36:17.400
<v Speaker 2>And I'm investigating this because nigga, you're about to fuck up.

0:36:18.080 --> 0:36:20.040
<v Speaker 4>But no, bitch, this is this is what the white

0:36:20.040 --> 0:36:22.120
<v Speaker 4>people are doing. This is this is the happily ever ever,

0:36:22.560 --> 0:36:24.880
<v Speaker 4>happily ever after. This is what it feels like. And

0:36:24.920 --> 0:36:27.879
<v Speaker 4>I really had to be like, oh, this is what's fun.

0:36:30.360 --> 0:36:32.480
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, I don't need to stress out. Masks does

0:36:32.520 --> 0:36:37.719
<v Speaker 4>not come to get me. But you know, and even

0:36:37.760 --> 0:36:41.000
<v Speaker 4>with Luna, like I don't like kid noises, I'm like, bitch,

0:36:41.000 --> 0:36:45.000
<v Speaker 4>you had a kid and you want her to be happy.

0:36:45.080 --> 0:36:48.040
<v Speaker 4>And I'm like, God, this is so noisy your happiness.

0:36:48.239 --> 0:36:50.520
<v Speaker 2>But then sometimes she's in the other room on the FaceTime,

0:36:50.680 --> 0:36:54.680
<v Speaker 2>like an old cackling lady, like what the fuck is

0:36:54.680 --> 0:36:58.440
<v Speaker 2>so funny, and I'm happy to hear her joy, and

0:36:58.480 --> 0:36:59.200
<v Speaker 2>it reminds me.

0:36:59.239 --> 0:37:01.279
<v Speaker 4>It's like, bring back that childlike joy.

0:37:01.840 --> 0:37:04.800
<v Speaker 2>Whatever you're stressed about, whatever adult shit that's so important,

0:37:05.200 --> 0:37:08.640
<v Speaker 2>the fucking email or the fucking mark from fucking on

0:37:08.800 --> 0:37:17.600
<v Speaker 2>brand and not sending your shit on time, It's fine.

0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:15.560
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:37:15.800 --> 0:37:19.879
<v Speaker 2>It's just like, be present in the moment and enjoy it.

0:37:19.920 --> 0:37:24.200
<v Speaker 2>And I've just realized, like the practice of pleasure is

0:37:24.280 --> 0:37:27.360
<v Speaker 2>so important, and I'm really grateful that we get this

0:37:27.440 --> 0:37:30.799
<v Speaker 2>space and this opportunity to remind ourselves, to remind each

0:37:30.800 --> 0:37:34.799
<v Speaker 2>other to play, and also to just like check ourselves,

0:37:34.840 --> 0:37:37.440
<v Speaker 2>because I really feel like, even if our parents think

0:37:37.560 --> 0:37:40.439
<v Speaker 2>our jobs are stupid, it's important for us to play

0:37:40.480 --> 0:37:43.000
<v Speaker 2>so that our people see us play and remind them

0:37:43.200 --> 0:37:45.360
<v Speaker 2>that you should be in love. You deserve to be

0:37:45.400 --> 0:37:47.960
<v Speaker 2>in these epic romantic loves. You deserve to have fun,

0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:49.280
<v Speaker 2>You deserve to cart wheel.

0:37:49.239 --> 0:37:51.719
<v Speaker 4>You deserve to dance with your titties. App without no

0:37:51.800 --> 0:37:54.480
<v Speaker 4>nigga's opinions because you're you've.

0:37:54.160 --> 0:37:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Worked for this, being born and being existing as black

0:37:58.600 --> 0:38:02.520
<v Speaker 2>and brown people, existing in this form today right now

0:38:03.120 --> 0:38:08.560
<v Speaker 2>is enough to be feel liberated and at ease and

0:38:08.560 --> 0:38:14.319
<v Speaker 2>whatever play you choose, because sexually, platonically, whatever it is,

0:38:14.360 --> 0:38:20.279
<v Speaker 2>because these are the dreams of our ancestors. It was

0:38:20.360 --> 0:38:21.680
<v Speaker 2>my Mela rant for the day.

0:38:21.880 --> 0:38:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Amen, speaking of pleasure, Is it time to smoke a blood?

0:38:28.320 --> 0:38:29.120
<v Speaker 1>Is it smoke?

0:38:29.200 --> 0:38:29.759
<v Speaker 4>Breakup time?

0:38:30.520 --> 0:38:32.080
<v Speaker 1>A lot of time, smoke a lot of time.

0:38:32.400 --> 0:38:34.560
<v Speaker 4>But we have more food coming, so it's definitely. You know,

0:38:34.600 --> 0:38:36.239
<v Speaker 4>nigga's got a smokeing eat.

0:38:36.160 --> 0:38:37.160
<v Speaker 1>So that I could open up.

0:38:38.800 --> 0:38:42.080
<v Speaker 4>A nigga diet. Niggas would be like smoke a blamp

0:38:42.120 --> 0:38:42.879
<v Speaker 4>before you eat more.

0:38:43.120 --> 0:38:43.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:38:43.280 --> 0:38:45.560
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely, And we got meals and we got.

0:38:45.760 --> 0:38:48.560
<v Speaker 1>Got more ship coming, So I think it's time for smoking. Clock.

0:38:59.360 --> 0:39:01.640
<v Speaker 3>I hope you let up with us and smoked a good,

0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:03.880
<v Speaker 3>nice blunt with us during our smoke break.

0:39:04.520 --> 0:39:06.560
<v Speaker 1>If not, what the are you doing?

0:39:07.000 --> 0:39:09.040
<v Speaker 4>I love the afternoon smoke break, dear.

0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:18.600
<v Speaker 3>So in the spirit of our talk, today's affirmation is

0:39:20.080 --> 0:39:23.240
<v Speaker 3>fuck the fear, do it for your ancestors.

0:39:23.960 --> 0:39:27.520
<v Speaker 4>Fuck the fear, do it for your ancestors. So I

0:39:27.520 --> 0:39:29.480
<v Speaker 4>guess that's not like a song. Fluck the feet do

0:39:29.600 --> 0:39:30.440
<v Speaker 4>it for your ancest.

0:39:30.520 --> 0:39:32.280
<v Speaker 1>Fuck the feet do it for your answers.

0:39:32.680 --> 0:39:34.920
<v Speaker 4>The feet do it for your ancest. Fuck the feet

0:39:35.160 --> 0:39:38.719
<v Speaker 4>do it for your ass back back like I wanted.

0:39:38.480 --> 0:39:39.000
<v Speaker 1>To bend over.

0:39:39.160 --> 0:39:40.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, God, I got them. I got the private

0:39:40.920 --> 0:39:41.520
<v Speaker 4>section for.

0:39:41.560 --> 0:39:44.320
<v Speaker 1>You, so I mean I could. I got the way ready.

0:39:44.920 --> 0:39:47.200
<v Speaker 4>This is a remix. Fuck the feet do it for

0:39:47.280 --> 0:39:49.560
<v Speaker 4>your ass. Fuck the feet do it for you. This

0:39:49.600 --> 0:39:52.480
<v Speaker 4>is like what's the girl from the name and the one?

0:39:55.160 --> 0:39:56.959
<v Speaker 1>Wait? What's your name? Big?

0:39:56.960 --> 0:39:59.879
<v Speaker 4>Fuck the fee do it for your ans is fun?

0:40:00.640 --> 0:40:07.520
<v Speaker 4>Do it for your answer? Yeah, we need to call her. Hey,

0:40:07.680 --> 0:40:11.160
<v Speaker 4>Big Freeda go we gotta sound. We could feel it

0:40:11.239 --> 0:40:14.640
<v Speaker 4>right here. We can feel it right here in New Orleans, LA.

0:40:16.000 --> 0:40:17.879
<v Speaker 2>Whoever knows Big Freda, tell her to call us because

0:40:17.880 --> 0:40:19.160
<v Speaker 2>we got to motherfucking hit.

0:40:19.320 --> 0:40:21.760
<v Speaker 1>I know nobody asked for that, but you're welcome.

0:40:22.239 --> 0:40:27.120
<v Speaker 4>Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, you get it anyway. Everyone just listening.

0:40:27.360 --> 0:40:30.960
<v Speaker 2>You need to tune into YouTube because Erica just backs

0:40:31.000 --> 0:40:33.600
<v Speaker 2>it up in a tight velvet dress in the in

0:40:33.640 --> 0:40:34.520
<v Speaker 2>the middle of the restaurant.

0:40:35.160 --> 0:40:39.319
<v Speaker 4>Totally necessary. I like that one. I fear do it

0:40:39.320 --> 0:40:43.719
<v Speaker 4>for your ancestors. Every time you question yourself, question should you?

0:40:44.120 --> 0:40:44.640
<v Speaker 1>Could you?

0:40:44.880 --> 0:40:48.160
<v Speaker 4>Is it too much? Nothing's too much, Honya.

0:40:48.440 --> 0:40:50.799
<v Speaker 3>Just imagine your ancestors wishing they could do half the

0:40:50.800 --> 0:40:54.600
<v Speaker 3>ship that you're doing right the fuck now, literally just

0:40:54.719 --> 0:40:57.920
<v Speaker 3>walking down the street in freedom.

0:40:57.040 --> 0:41:00.000
<v Speaker 2>Without the gaze of white folks. Sorry, I watched it

0:41:00.120 --> 0:41:02.160
<v Speaker 2>a segregation movie recently, going.

0:41:01.920 --> 0:41:05.200
<v Speaker 3>To the bathroom in fucking peace.

0:41:05.960 --> 0:41:09.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I watched good God's so funny. My daughter is

0:41:09.560 --> 0:41:12.319
<v Speaker 1>she's learning about she learns about I'm okay every year.

0:41:12.680 --> 0:41:15.239
<v Speaker 3>But she asked me at the end of the day,

0:41:15.360 --> 0:41:17.520
<v Speaker 3>She's like, Mommy, do you know who Rosa Parks is?

0:41:17.840 --> 0:41:19.520
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, of course, I had Rosa parts is.

0:41:19.560 --> 0:41:21.279
<v Speaker 1>And she's like, is she alive? I was like, no,

0:41:21.320 --> 0:41:22.400
<v Speaker 1>she was, She's not alive.

0:41:22.640 --> 0:41:24.759
<v Speaker 3>And then I thought to myself, this is a very

0:41:25.760 --> 0:41:28.520
<v Speaker 3>crucial learning moment that I can enact on her and

0:41:28.560 --> 0:41:29.080
<v Speaker 3>not be for the.

0:41:29.080 --> 0:41:29.880
<v Speaker 1>Reasons you think.

0:41:30.400 --> 0:41:33.600
<v Speaker 3>Because my daughter is a rule follower, right, Like she's

0:41:33.840 --> 0:41:35.440
<v Speaker 3>a stickler of a following, this is a.

0:41:35.480 --> 0:41:37.640
<v Speaker 4>Time to tell her if not, yeah, she is.

0:41:37.560 --> 0:41:42.000
<v Speaker 1>A stickler for followers. I was like, so, honey, like

0:41:42.040 --> 0:41:43.960
<v Speaker 1>you've been learning about Rosa Parks. I'm like, so what

0:41:44.000 --> 0:41:46.960
<v Speaker 1>did she do? She was like, she sat somewhere she

0:41:47.000 --> 0:41:49.480
<v Speaker 1>wasn't supposed to sit. And I was like, and what happened?

0:41:50.080 --> 0:41:54.200
<v Speaker 1>She was like things changed for us.

0:41:54.320 --> 0:41:56.560
<v Speaker 4>And I was like yeah.

0:41:57.239 --> 0:41:59.120
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, you know, I know that you

0:41:59.239 --> 0:42:01.439
<v Speaker 3>really love to follow rules, but just imagine if Rosa

0:42:01.480 --> 0:42:03.840
<v Speaker 3>Parks never sat in the front of the bus.

0:42:03.880 --> 0:42:05.160
<v Speaker 1>Just imagine what would have happened.

0:42:05.480 --> 0:42:06.880
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, and this is a good example

0:42:06.920 --> 0:42:10.120
<v Speaker 3>of sometimes we have to say fuck those rules and

0:42:10.320 --> 0:42:11.719
<v Speaker 3>go against the rules to.

0:42:11.680 --> 0:42:14.360
<v Speaker 1>Make the change that you want to make. And she

0:42:14.520 --> 0:42:15.560
<v Speaker 1>was like okay, And.

0:42:15.520 --> 0:42:17.880
<v Speaker 3>I was like, gosh, she's hearing me, like hearing me

0:42:17.960 --> 0:42:19.279
<v Speaker 3>because I want to park in the fucking wred.

0:42:19.280 --> 0:42:20.040
<v Speaker 1>Shut the fuck up.

0:42:20.880 --> 0:42:23.440
<v Speaker 4>These are pervotal moments in our kids' lives.

0:42:23.520 --> 0:42:26.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean, even for you listening, I think we all

0:42:26.960 --> 0:42:30.560
<v Speaker 2>here heard that story all one through fifth grade or whatever.

0:42:30.600 --> 0:42:30.879
<v Speaker 4>The fuck.

0:42:30.920 --> 0:42:33.480
<v Speaker 2>They never stop telling it because there's no other important

0:42:34.239 --> 0:42:35.840
<v Speaker 2>marks in fucking black history.

0:42:35.880 --> 0:42:37.520
<v Speaker 4>But that's a joke if there are.

0:42:38.480 --> 0:42:42.839
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, sometimes following the rules is not what you're

0:42:42.840 --> 0:42:43.480
<v Speaker 2>supposed to do.

0:42:43.880 --> 0:42:46.719
<v Speaker 4>In fact, people who follow the rules make no change.

0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:51.279
<v Speaker 2>So for everybody in our comments talking fucking shit for

0:42:51.360 --> 0:42:54.200
<v Speaker 2>our parents, anybody else has anything else to say about

0:42:54.200 --> 0:42:57.720
<v Speaker 2>what the fuck we're doing. No change comes from well

0:42:58.040 --> 0:43:02.160
<v Speaker 2>behaved women. So when we're loud, when we're rowdy, when

0:43:02.160 --> 0:43:05.200
<v Speaker 2>we're doing whatever the fuck we want, it's because we

0:43:05.239 --> 0:43:08.040
<v Speaker 2>have an agenda, and that agenda is to free the

0:43:08.120 --> 0:43:10.000
<v Speaker 2>people in their minds.

0:43:10.480 --> 0:43:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Wait.

0:43:10.719 --> 0:43:13.480
<v Speaker 3>I have one other random fact, and this is actually

0:43:13.600 --> 0:43:17.240
<v Speaker 3>this could be for today's years old. And I learned

0:43:17.280 --> 0:43:19.920
<v Speaker 3>this because when I was telling my daughter this, then

0:43:19.960 --> 0:43:21.839
<v Speaker 3>that night we went to dinner with my cousin and

0:43:22.440 --> 0:43:24.719
<v Speaker 3>she was I reasked her who Rosa Parks was, and

0:43:24.719 --> 0:43:26.360
<v Speaker 3>if she knew how old she would be right, like

0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:28.640
<v Speaker 3>be at this current age, I think she'd be like,

0:43:29.800 --> 0:43:31.480
<v Speaker 3>I think it was like one hundred and ten or something,

0:43:31.600 --> 0:43:32.399
<v Speaker 3>one hundred and nine.

0:43:32.680 --> 0:43:33.640
<v Speaker 4>Rosa just died.

0:43:34.280 --> 0:43:37.120
<v Speaker 1>No, she died like fifteen, ten years ago.

0:43:37.280 --> 0:43:38.879
<v Speaker 4>No, she did look it up.

0:43:38.960 --> 0:43:39.319
<v Speaker 1>She did.

0:43:39.440 --> 0:43:40.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I guess I reads.

0:43:40.760 --> 0:43:45.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, since we've been like recently ten years ago.

0:43:45.560 --> 0:43:47.439
<v Speaker 4>Okay, child, is you are twenty five?

0:43:47.480 --> 0:43:52.799
<v Speaker 1>No, bitch, that was recently twenty five, two thousand and five.

0:43:53.080 --> 0:43:55.360
<v Speaker 2>So ye, she died even longer ago than that today,

0:43:55.440 --> 0:43:57.439
<v Speaker 2>that nineteen years ago, bitch, five.

0:43:57.480 --> 0:43:59.400
<v Speaker 4>Was just around the corner. I was just in eleventh grade.

0:43:59.520 --> 0:43:59.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:44:00.440 --> 0:44:03.480
<v Speaker 3>Anyway, my cousin was telling me that she used to

0:44:03.480 --> 0:44:05.680
<v Speaker 3>write letters to Rosa Parks and she would write her back.

0:44:06.280 --> 0:44:09.160
<v Speaker 1>Really, yes, that's so cool, I know, And she said.

0:44:08.960 --> 0:44:11.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, she wrote me back many times then when I

0:44:11.080 --> 0:44:12.040
<v Speaker 3>was a kid, because.

0:44:11.800 --> 0:44:15.040
<v Speaker 1>I will Yeah, yeah, put the fuck because I was right.

0:44:15.280 --> 0:44:17.000
<v Speaker 4>I never writing I don't know.

0:44:17.040 --> 0:44:18.719
<v Speaker 1>But then she said, do you know that this is

0:44:18.760 --> 0:44:20.120
<v Speaker 1>a fun fact about Rosa Parks.

0:44:20.160 --> 0:44:23.680
<v Speaker 3>Did you know that the owner of Little Caesar's paid

0:44:23.760 --> 0:44:26.839
<v Speaker 3>her rent for like the last from twenty five years

0:44:26.840 --> 0:44:29.719
<v Speaker 3>from like she was like homeless. Basically, he got her

0:44:29.760 --> 0:44:32.040
<v Speaker 3>an apartment and paid her rent for ten years. She

0:44:32.080 --> 0:44:33.799
<v Speaker 3>didn't even know it was him that was paying it,

0:44:34.080 --> 0:44:36.000
<v Speaker 3>and then eventually she found out and he paid her

0:44:36.080 --> 0:44:37.520
<v Speaker 3>rent for the duration of her life.

0:44:38.120 --> 0:44:40.799
<v Speaker 4>Wow. Yeah, it's got chows. I don't even know who

0:44:40.840 --> 0:44:41.920
<v Speaker 4>mister Little Caesar is.

0:44:41.960 --> 0:44:44.399
<v Speaker 1>He's worth six billion dollars and he's also dead.

0:44:44.480 --> 0:44:48.280
<v Speaker 2>Can you imagine doing all you have done for history?

0:44:48.320 --> 0:44:52.160
<v Speaker 2>You've been in every motherfucking history book and been ending homeless.

0:44:52.320 --> 0:44:54.760
<v Speaker 2>Can you imagine them writing you up in every history

0:44:54.760 --> 0:44:57.879
<v Speaker 2>book and these motherfucker the word I want to say

0:44:58.120 --> 0:45:02.839
<v Speaker 2>is probably these motherfucking crackers got you out here homeless,

0:45:03.239 --> 0:45:06.520
<v Speaker 2>but they've used you and you're liking to paint this piece.

0:45:06.560 --> 0:45:08.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there are your pictures in every classroom.

0:45:08.400 --> 0:45:11.759
<v Speaker 2>Fucking classroom, but you can't even afford to live in

0:45:11.800 --> 0:45:12.320
<v Speaker 2>this bitch.

0:45:13.239 --> 0:45:16.080
<v Speaker 4>That's crazy, little mister, little Caesar.

0:45:15.840 --> 0:45:17.320
<v Speaker 1>Mister Caesar, mister Caesar.

0:45:18.840 --> 0:45:20.919
<v Speaker 2>You know what, it's just a reminder to do something

0:45:21.000 --> 0:45:23.120
<v Speaker 2>kind for somebody, whether they know it or not.

0:45:23.280 --> 0:45:26.040
<v Speaker 4>Right, But it's like, how do you like? He was

0:45:26.080 --> 0:45:28.000
<v Speaker 4>somewhere like, where's this woman at? I need to pick

0:45:28.040 --> 0:45:28.399
<v Speaker 4>her rent?

0:45:29.080 --> 0:45:31.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's nothing, It's like nothing to him.

0:45:31.800 --> 0:45:34.719
<v Speaker 3>And just imagine how many legends, how many people that

0:45:34.719 --> 0:45:37.399
<v Speaker 3>have impacted our society that are like down and out

0:45:37.520 --> 0:45:40.319
<v Speaker 3>that it would be absolutely nothing for someone to come

0:45:40.360 --> 0:45:43.120
<v Speaker 3>in and just fucking save their life a little bit.

0:45:43.200 --> 0:45:45.759
<v Speaker 2>Speaking of this, I'm gonna go dark because I have

0:45:45.840 --> 0:45:51.240
<v Speaker 2>no choice my darkness. Did you know that the five

0:45:51.560 --> 0:45:54.520
<v Speaker 2>richest men in the world, there's only five. The five

0:45:54.600 --> 0:45:59.279
<v Speaker 2>richest men in the world have doubled their wealth since

0:45:59.360 --> 0:46:01.360
<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty COVID.

0:46:01.880 --> 0:46:04.200
<v Speaker 4>I know, but it's only been four years.

0:46:04.960 --> 0:46:08.880
<v Speaker 12>You're the fucking fifth five richest niggas in the world,

0:46:09.040 --> 0:46:12.720
<v Speaker 12>and you've doubled that wealth since fucking COVID, you bitch

0:46:12.760 --> 0:46:17.040
<v Speaker 12>ass niggas. People are fucking starving, and then the government

0:46:17.080 --> 0:46:19.920
<v Speaker 12>is getting all this money to kill people in other countries,

0:46:20.360 --> 0:46:22.520
<v Speaker 12>but you fucking five bucks.

0:46:23.360 --> 0:46:24.360
<v Speaker 4>You can't even spend.

0:46:24.440 --> 0:46:26.279
<v Speaker 2>First of all, four out of three, out of five

0:46:26.280 --> 0:46:28.279
<v Speaker 2>of them are fucking about to die anyway if they

0:46:28.280 --> 0:46:30.960
<v Speaker 2>haven't stolen eleven hundred black people's organs.

0:46:31.480 --> 0:46:33.359
<v Speaker 4>But we're gonna get shut down for that.

0:46:34.560 --> 0:46:38.200
<v Speaker 2>But you haven't doubled your wealth while the rest of

0:46:38.239 --> 0:46:39.960
<v Speaker 2>the world, like you could literally.

0:46:39.880 --> 0:46:43.560
<v Speaker 4>Give that back and be perfectly fucking fine.

0:46:43.600 --> 0:46:45.560
<v Speaker 2>And three of you niggas are about to die any

0:46:45.600 --> 0:46:47.640
<v Speaker 2>second now, so really, you need to just let it go.

0:46:48.600 --> 0:46:51.920
<v Speaker 2>I can't imagine having access to that much money, you

0:46:51.920 --> 0:46:54.960
<v Speaker 2>can't even have that much luxury, and then still being

0:46:55.000 --> 0:46:58.000
<v Speaker 2>like fuck the poors.

0:46:58.200 --> 0:46:58.600
<v Speaker 4>Wild.

0:46:58.840 --> 0:47:01.600
<v Speaker 2>I can't even imagine getting that much wealth and still

0:47:01.640 --> 0:47:02.640
<v Speaker 2>having hate in my heart.

0:47:03.960 --> 0:47:05.920
<v Speaker 4>It's wild, Like, what do you have to hate?

0:47:06.560 --> 0:47:07.080
<v Speaker 7>You rich?

0:47:07.960 --> 0:47:09.600
<v Speaker 4>You might as well as give it out. I'm gonna

0:47:09.600 --> 0:47:11.600
<v Speaker 4>go to all the poor countries take a sack. I

0:47:11.640 --> 0:47:13.439
<v Speaker 4>don't know, it's just so why.

0:47:13.560 --> 0:47:15.360
<v Speaker 1>They might not be hateful, they might be some happy

0:47:15.360 --> 0:47:16.040
<v Speaker 1>old white men.

0:47:16.160 --> 0:47:16.400
<v Speaker 9>M M.

0:47:16.640 --> 0:47:19.040
<v Speaker 4>I saw them.

0:47:19.080 --> 0:47:21.720
<v Speaker 2>None of them are happy, none of them are getting

0:47:22.120 --> 0:47:24.240
<v Speaker 2>They're not getting fucked sucked.

0:47:24.520 --> 0:47:27.240
<v Speaker 3>They're they're definitely getting sucked and sucks. They had gotten

0:47:27.239 --> 0:47:28.799
<v Speaker 3>fucked in such a lot in their life because they've

0:47:28.800 --> 0:47:29.279
<v Speaker 3>paid for it.

0:47:29.440 --> 0:47:30.359
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but that's not love.

0:47:30.560 --> 0:47:34.200
<v Speaker 2>That isn't that that that that vibrates different those little penises.

0:47:34.239 --> 0:47:38.200
<v Speaker 4>They don't look happy. No, I saw them. Anyway, back

0:47:39.120 --> 0:47:41.719
<v Speaker 4>to a regularly scheduled love program. Okay, you're not a

0:47:41.760 --> 0:47:45.080
<v Speaker 4>black panther that you guys know. My middle name is Asada.

0:47:44.680 --> 0:47:50.239
<v Speaker 4>I'm kind, but deep down I have reach. Anyway, I've

0:47:50.280 --> 0:47:53.320
<v Speaker 4>written you a love letter. I wrote you one too, okay,

0:47:53.400 --> 0:47:59.480
<v Speaker 4>in the in the in the spirit of love and friendship.

0:48:00.520 --> 0:48:03.680
<v Speaker 2>We've written each other letters because that's how cheesy we

0:48:03.760 --> 0:48:05.240
<v Speaker 2>are cheesy.

0:48:05.280 --> 0:48:07.560
<v Speaker 3>And also I want you guys to consider writing a

0:48:07.560 --> 0:48:09.520
<v Speaker 3>love letter to your friends, because I think it's really

0:48:09.560 --> 0:48:11.319
<v Speaker 3>important and it was really I mean, I wrote you

0:48:11.320 --> 0:48:13.200
<v Speaker 3>a love letter in our book as well.

0:48:13.320 --> 0:48:14.279
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah you did?

0:48:14.600 --> 0:48:17.239
<v Speaker 1>Did I read that? You should? You never read it?

0:48:17.680 --> 0:48:20.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't you know, honestly, confession, I don't know if

0:48:20.040 --> 0:48:21.040
<v Speaker 2>I've read our book.

0:48:21.120 --> 0:48:22.319
<v Speaker 4>To bat, have you?

0:48:22.800 --> 0:48:24.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean in the process of writing it.

0:48:24.400 --> 0:48:26.839
<v Speaker 2>I have, Yeah, but that's when we're like in Costa Rica,

0:48:27.080 --> 0:48:30.319
<v Speaker 2>two days before a retreat looking for spy.

0:48:31.120 --> 0:48:32.960
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm on like chapter three on Autio.

0:48:33.040 --> 0:48:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Really wow, I never even downloaded it. I don't want

0:48:37.440 --> 0:48:38.280
<v Speaker 2>to hear my own voice.

0:48:38.600 --> 0:48:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Why bitch, pay us? What the fun? Give me that?

0:48:40.960 --> 0:48:41.879
<v Speaker 1>Give us the.

0:48:45.480 --> 0:48:46.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I guess I do have a love letter to

0:48:46.960 --> 0:48:51.320
<v Speaker 4>you too. Did I need to read that book? Okay?

0:48:51.360 --> 0:48:54.359
<v Speaker 4>So I'm an analogue girl. So I wrote my own paper.

0:48:54.480 --> 0:48:54.840
<v Speaker 7>Write it?

0:48:55.160 --> 0:48:57.640
<v Speaker 1>Wow? Three page? What is the three pages.

0:48:57.760 --> 0:48:59.760
<v Speaker 4>I'm spend taking a full page?

0:49:00.320 --> 0:49:05.880
<v Speaker 2>Let up and not mclosed with the kids.

0:49:07.320 --> 0:49:14.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay, gonna make it comfortable. Okay, this is so cheesy.

0:49:15.160 --> 0:49:19.280
<v Speaker 4>Wow, she's up your friends. It's very important. My sister,

0:49:19.680 --> 0:49:21.960
<v Speaker 4>my bestie, my wife, my soulmate.

0:49:22.520 --> 0:49:25.440
<v Speaker 2>I had no idea this life changing love and friendship

0:49:25.560 --> 0:49:28.360
<v Speaker 2>was on its way. I truly had no idea I

0:49:28.400 --> 0:49:32.320
<v Speaker 2>could experience love like this in adulthood. You have truly

0:49:32.360 --> 0:49:36.960
<v Speaker 2>been my mirror because of the love strength drive you exude,

0:49:37.239 --> 0:49:38.120
<v Speaker 2>you showed.

0:49:37.840 --> 0:49:38.840
<v Speaker 4>Me my own power.

0:49:39.760 --> 0:49:43.200
<v Speaker 2>This love was so unexpected, yet so intentional and divine.

0:49:43.840 --> 0:49:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Experiencing your love allowed me to drop guards I hadn't

0:49:47.440 --> 0:49:50.160
<v Speaker 2>even realized I had up Erica.

0:49:50.560 --> 0:49:54.240
<v Speaker 4>You're beautiful, wild, emotional.

0:49:54.200 --> 0:50:02.840
<v Speaker 2>Strong, moody, resilient, driven, poised, powerful, gentle, funny, silly and fun.

0:50:03.400 --> 0:50:05.640
<v Speaker 4>The amount of memories we share are endless.

0:50:09.680 --> 0:50:14.120
<v Speaker 2>We have We have such a good range, from the

0:50:14.160 --> 0:50:16.640
<v Speaker 2>morning you drove me to planned parenthood at five am

0:50:16.640 --> 0:50:19.400
<v Speaker 2>when we first started, to that night you showed up

0:50:19.400 --> 0:50:23.480
<v Speaker 2>at my apartment and shambles over new news to Coachella's

0:50:24.080 --> 0:50:31.480
<v Speaker 2>Goddess self, coins named Goddess, experiences, tours, tor shenanigans.

0:50:33.040 --> 0:50:35.360
<v Speaker 4>Late nights, uh late nights in.

0:50:35.440 --> 0:50:42.640
<v Speaker 2>Your dining room, new boyfriends, breakups, arguments over boobs and boys,

0:50:44.800 --> 0:50:48.719
<v Speaker 2>to signing six figure contracts. I could honestly go on

0:50:48.840 --> 0:50:52.560
<v Speaker 2>for hours, but the point is I could not imagine this.

0:50:52.680 --> 0:50:56.120
<v Speaker 4>Life without you. I love you so deeply.

0:50:56.320 --> 0:51:01.880
<v Speaker 2>This covenant, this entity is unbreakable and divine. Sharing and friendship, business,

0:51:02.040 --> 0:51:04.759
<v Speaker 2>motherhood and growth with you has been an honor, And

0:51:04.800 --> 0:51:07.279
<v Speaker 2>I know God sent us each other to shake shit

0:51:07.400 --> 0:51:10.959
<v Speaker 2>up and make shit happen. No matter where life takes us,

0:51:11.080 --> 0:51:13.680
<v Speaker 2>I will always be here for you, to love on you,

0:51:14.080 --> 0:51:16.080
<v Speaker 2>to cry with you, to fight with you.

0:51:16.560 --> 0:51:18.960
<v Speaker 4>If I that means not with you but with your mother.

0:51:19.160 --> 0:51:19.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, be gross.

0:51:21.120 --> 0:51:25.320
<v Speaker 2>If I ever, if I ever make you feel unappreciated

0:51:25.440 --> 0:51:29.640
<v Speaker 2>or unloved by me, always know that's cap Oh okay,

0:51:29.880 --> 0:51:30.600
<v Speaker 2>yeah like that.

0:51:32.719 --> 0:51:35.239
<v Speaker 4>At my core, you are truly a piece of me.

0:51:35.560 --> 0:51:38.560
<v Speaker 1>I love you too. Thank you.

0:51:42.560 --> 0:51:43.560
<v Speaker 7>Okay.

0:51:44.760 --> 0:51:48.000
<v Speaker 1>I am not an analog girl. I am actually, but

0:51:48.760 --> 0:51:49.919
<v Speaker 1>this was easier in my phone.

0:51:50.080 --> 0:51:50.520
<v Speaker 4>Let me tell you.

0:51:50.640 --> 0:51:53.000
<v Speaker 2>Erica fucking text me last night like, don't forget to

0:51:53.040 --> 0:51:55.839
<v Speaker 2>write my love letter, and I was like, okay.

0:51:55.560 --> 0:51:58.120
<v Speaker 4>And then this morning I was like, fuck, I forgot.

0:51:58.560 --> 0:52:01.600
<v Speaker 4>I never forget and schedule it. So I intentionally ubered

0:52:01.600 --> 0:52:02.840
<v Speaker 4>here so that I could write it. And then she

0:52:02.880 --> 0:52:04.640
<v Speaker 4>got here, She's like, you didn't already. I said, bitch,

0:52:04.640 --> 0:52:05.359
<v Speaker 4>you reminded me.

0:52:05.719 --> 0:52:08.080
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't. I didn't uber I was driving.

0:52:08.480 --> 0:52:09.520
<v Speaker 4>You didn't take your own mind.

0:52:09.520 --> 0:52:10.680
<v Speaker 3>I thought maybe I was going to do it on

0:52:10.719 --> 0:52:12.160
<v Speaker 3>the whim, you know how like people when they accept

0:52:12.160 --> 0:52:14.160
<v Speaker 3>their accepted space and then they dried it on the wind,

0:52:14.160 --> 0:52:15.560
<v Speaker 3>and then they fuck it up and then they're mad.

0:52:15.400 --> 0:52:17.960
<v Speaker 1>Because they should have said thousand thank you. But then

0:52:18.000 --> 0:52:19.359
<v Speaker 1>I said, no, let me write this shit down.

0:52:22.200 --> 0:52:28.360
<v Speaker 3>Okay, Jamila, God knew I needed this friendship and the sisterhood.

0:52:28.360 --> 0:52:30.840
<v Speaker 3>Back when I stopped you on Instagram in twenty fifteen.

0:52:32.080 --> 0:52:34.239
<v Speaker 3>Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that

0:52:34.280 --> 0:52:36.680
<v Speaker 3>we would have created a relationship that has not only

0:52:36.719 --> 0:52:40.400
<v Speaker 3>comforted me in my darkest hours, but blossomed and expanded

0:52:40.400 --> 0:52:43.160
<v Speaker 3>my life in ways I didn't even think possible. The

0:52:43.200 --> 0:52:45.120
<v Speaker 3>moment I saw you, you were a mirror to me,

0:52:45.400 --> 0:52:47.640
<v Speaker 3>a mirror to the things that I deny to myself,

0:52:47.680 --> 0:52:50.600
<v Speaker 3>and also a mirror in the similar similarities that we

0:52:50.640 --> 0:52:52.920
<v Speaker 3>share and I had been searching for in a friend.

0:52:54.080 --> 0:52:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Our friendship has shown me. Our friendship has shown me

0:52:57.040 --> 0:52:58.280
<v Speaker 1>how crucial.

0:52:59.520 --> 0:53:02.400
<v Speaker 3>It is for women to have at least one woman

0:53:02.440 --> 0:53:04.520
<v Speaker 3>in their life that they love just as much as

0:53:04.520 --> 0:53:06.560
<v Speaker 3>the person they choose to share their body, time, and

0:53:06.600 --> 0:53:09.799
<v Speaker 3>heart with. You have protected me more than any man has.

0:53:10.360 --> 0:53:13.080
<v Speaker 3>You have championed me more than my family members have.

0:53:13.600 --> 0:53:15.400
<v Speaker 3>You have been patient with me like a mother is

0:53:15.480 --> 0:53:18.360
<v Speaker 3>patient to her child. You have shown me that you

0:53:18.480 --> 0:53:20.560
<v Speaker 3>love me over and over, even when you think you

0:53:20.600 --> 0:53:21.680
<v Speaker 3>haven't cause you think you're not.

0:53:21.640 --> 0:53:22.279
<v Speaker 1>Good at that part.

0:53:23.960 --> 0:53:25.640
<v Speaker 3>You have been a shoulder to cry on and a

0:53:25.640 --> 0:53:27.480
<v Speaker 3>person I call to share all my good and bad

0:53:27.560 --> 0:53:30.279
<v Speaker 3>choices with, just like people choose to spend their life

0:53:30.280 --> 0:53:32.479
<v Speaker 3>with someone and see no end in sight of their love.

0:53:32.560 --> 0:53:35.200
<v Speaker 3>I see no insight, no end in sight for ours.

0:53:35.800 --> 0:53:39.359
<v Speaker 3>I'm committed to this friendship for life, and even when

0:53:39.400 --> 0:53:41.720
<v Speaker 3>we have children or get married. Just know you'll always

0:53:41.719 --> 0:53:43.560
<v Speaker 3>be my wife and I'll always be here for you,

0:53:43.640 --> 0:53:46.400
<v Speaker 3>no matter how dark or light it gets. You are

0:53:46.440 --> 0:53:49.439
<v Speaker 3>my soulmate, and God did her mother fucking thing when

0:53:49.480 --> 0:53:53.239
<v Speaker 3>she summoned us together. I want nothing more than for

0:53:53.320 --> 0:53:56.319
<v Speaker 3>you to be successful in all your devil endeavors with

0:53:56.400 --> 0:53:59.080
<v Speaker 3>me and outside of me. I want you to continue

0:53:59.120 --> 0:54:04.320
<v Speaker 3>to experience juicy sex, soul filling love in all your relationships,

0:54:04.600 --> 0:54:07.000
<v Speaker 3>and to share your magic everywhere you go, to be

0:54:07.080 --> 0:54:08.160
<v Speaker 3>exactly as you are.

0:54:08.520 --> 0:54:13.200
<v Speaker 1>Titties over sharing it all. Thank you for sharing your

0:54:13.320 --> 0:54:16.000
<v Speaker 1>love and life with me. Happy Valentine's Day, my love

0:54:16.200 --> 0:54:17.160
<v Speaker 1>cheers to many more.

0:54:17.239 --> 0:54:18.560
<v Speaker 4>Oh, Happy Valentine Day.

0:54:18.560 --> 0:54:21.560
<v Speaker 1>I M.

0:54:23.360 --> 0:54:26.160
<v Speaker 4>Wow, I'm an emotional bite.

0:54:27.760 --> 0:54:28.120
<v Speaker 1>I kind.

0:54:28.239 --> 0:54:30.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to hold it together cause I don't know

0:54:30.040 --> 0:54:32.400
<v Speaker 3>if this water is and this mascara is waterproof.

0:54:32.480 --> 0:54:32.719
<v Speaker 2>Is it?

0:54:32.880 --> 0:54:35.480
<v Speaker 4>I think it looks like it's holding up.

0:54:36.000 --> 0:54:39.000
<v Speaker 1>I told you, I googled it. I googled the mascar

0:54:39.160 --> 0:54:40.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't think I looked up waterproof.

0:54:40.719 --> 0:54:42.600
<v Speaker 4>Do you research the shit out of this? Mascar?

0:54:42.719 --> 0:54:43.839
<v Speaker 1>You know my researching? Yes, bitch?

0:54:43.880 --> 0:54:44.960
<v Speaker 4>Wait is my makeup fucked up?

0:54:45.000 --> 0:54:45.799
<v Speaker 2>Now? I don't know.

0:54:46.080 --> 0:54:47.600
<v Speaker 1>Just we'll just dry a little hair. Okay.

0:54:47.680 --> 0:54:50.000
<v Speaker 3>Wait, speaking of research, because I did do some research

0:54:50.000 --> 0:54:52.160
<v Speaker 3>and I wanted to share some fa facts about why

0:54:52.160 --> 0:54:54.479
<v Speaker 3>it's so important for women to have friends and why

0:54:55.120 --> 0:54:59.120
<v Speaker 3>this relationship in particular has been so healing, has been

0:54:59.200 --> 0:55:02.200
<v Speaker 3>so like ben official to my health overall in general.

0:55:02.360 --> 0:55:03.360
<v Speaker 1>Because I was really curious.

0:55:03.400 --> 0:55:05.840
<v Speaker 3>I was like, what is like, what are the stats

0:55:05.840 --> 0:55:09.960
<v Speaker 3>around like female friendships? And it was so interesting the

0:55:10.000 --> 0:55:10.840
<v Speaker 3>things that I found.

0:55:11.239 --> 0:55:11.959
<v Speaker 4>What did you find?

0:55:12.040 --> 0:55:12.880
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm gonna tell you.

0:55:15.880 --> 0:55:18.360
<v Speaker 3>I found that so it says how long does the

0:55:18.400 --> 0:55:22.839
<v Speaker 3>average female friendship last? Recent research actually tells us that

0:55:22.880 --> 0:55:26.719
<v Speaker 3>the average female friendship lasts sixteen years, which is six

0:55:26.800 --> 0:55:27.759
<v Speaker 3>years longer than.

0:55:27.680 --> 0:55:29.880
<v Speaker 1>The average romantic relationship.

0:55:31.480 --> 0:55:35.360
<v Speaker 3>If a friendship lasts longer than seven years, psychologists say

0:55:35.400 --> 0:55:36.719
<v Speaker 3>it will last a lifetime.

0:55:37.239 --> 0:55:39.320
<v Speaker 4>We're nine years in so rewards.

0:55:39.480 --> 0:55:42.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, done, it's done.

0:55:42.800 --> 0:55:46.680
<v Speaker 3>And then there's this apparently there's this like I don't know,

0:55:46.760 --> 0:55:48.080
<v Speaker 3>this rule around friendship.

0:55:48.120 --> 0:55:50.280
<v Speaker 1>It's the eighty twenty Rule of friendship.

0:55:51.440 --> 0:55:55.000
<v Speaker 3>It says eighty percent of eighty percent of the value

0:55:55.040 --> 0:55:58.400
<v Speaker 3>of your friendships will come from twenty percent of your friends.

0:55:58.760 --> 0:56:01.840
<v Speaker 3>For example, you might have ten casual friends, but probably

0:56:01.880 --> 0:56:05.480
<v Speaker 3>only two or three are dark hour friends, like the

0:56:05.480 --> 0:56:07.640
<v Speaker 3>person to recall in the dark darkness of your hour.

0:56:07.719 --> 0:56:09.840
<v Speaker 3>These friends will support you through tough times and stay

0:56:09.840 --> 0:56:13.160
<v Speaker 3>with you without any selfish benefit. And I was thinking

0:56:13.160 --> 0:56:15.520
<v Speaker 3>about that, and I was thinking about, like how many

0:56:15.520 --> 0:56:20.719
<v Speaker 3>women in general think they have an eighty percentage of

0:56:20.719 --> 0:56:23.719
<v Speaker 3>friends Like that really would be there, but then things happen, like,

0:56:23.760 --> 0:56:25.840
<v Speaker 3>for example, you have a child, right, Like there's so

0:56:25.840 --> 0:56:27.600
<v Speaker 3>many women that encounter this when you have a kid,

0:56:27.680 --> 0:56:29.920
<v Speaker 3>and you're like, where the fuck are all my friends?

0:56:30.360 --> 0:56:33.600
<v Speaker 3>And you realize, like your friend group gets substantially smaller

0:56:33.640 --> 0:56:36.840
<v Speaker 3>when you have these we have these rights of passage

0:56:36.880 --> 0:56:39.680
<v Speaker 3>in your life, whether that's in death, whether that's in birth,

0:56:39.760 --> 0:56:40.560
<v Speaker 3>whatever it is.

0:56:40.480 --> 0:56:41.800
<v Speaker 1>When you need that support.

0:56:42.880 --> 0:56:44.759
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, I think a lot more women

0:56:44.800 --> 0:56:48.520
<v Speaker 3>need to really take inventory of like their friends, like do.

0:56:48.600 --> 0:56:51.480
<v Speaker 1>You have an eighty twenty do you even have twenty?

0:56:52.840 --> 0:56:53.000
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:56:53.440 --> 0:56:56.239
<v Speaker 2>I think the fucked up part about this because like

0:56:56.280 --> 0:56:59.040
<v Speaker 2>when I as you talk about this. I'm thinking about

0:56:59.239 --> 0:57:02.840
<v Speaker 2>particular time in my life where I have some friends

0:57:02.840 --> 0:57:05.120
<v Speaker 2>that I've known my whole life and that I've just

0:57:05.239 --> 0:57:08.000
<v Speaker 2>like gone to in certain situations and they did not

0:57:08.280 --> 0:57:10.000
<v Speaker 2>show up in the way I thought that they would,

0:57:10.120 --> 0:57:13.440
<v Speaker 2>and like how deeply devastating that was for me, Like

0:57:13.560 --> 0:57:14.640
<v Speaker 2>my cancer, I feck and.

0:57:14.680 --> 0:57:15.839
<v Speaker 4>Self can't take it.

0:57:16.520 --> 0:57:20.280
<v Speaker 2>But I think when I met you, or when we

0:57:20.320 --> 0:57:23.280
<v Speaker 2>started to start this and like rekindle this friendship, I

0:57:23.320 --> 0:57:24.160
<v Speaker 2>was in a place that I.

0:57:24.080 --> 0:57:28.840
<v Speaker 4>Didn't realize, like I really was like not fuck bitches,

0:57:28.840 --> 0:57:31.080
<v Speaker 4>because I'm really a girl's girl, but.

0:57:31.200 --> 0:57:33.840
<v Speaker 2>I was in need of like a friendship, that dark

0:57:33.920 --> 0:57:36.840
<v Speaker 2>hour of friendship in a way that I thought I

0:57:37.000 --> 0:57:39.920
<v Speaker 2>had and I did it, and it was it was

0:57:39.960 --> 0:57:41.320
<v Speaker 2>like I was in a time where I had lost

0:57:41.360 --> 0:57:41.840
<v Speaker 2>I was not.

0:57:41.760 --> 0:57:43.880
<v Speaker 4>In my relationship with my baby daddy that I'd been with.

0:57:43.920 --> 0:57:48.480
<v Speaker 2>For years, and I was going through really hard times

0:57:48.520 --> 0:57:50.080
<v Speaker 2>and the people I thought that were going to really

0:57:50.120 --> 0:57:54.640
<v Speaker 2>show up for me did not and it was difficult.

0:57:54.720 --> 0:57:56.880
<v Speaker 2>And then when I found you, I was like I

0:57:56.880 --> 0:57:58.400
<v Speaker 2>I didn't think that there was a time where I

0:57:58.400 --> 0:58:01.240
<v Speaker 2>could find a friend of this depth.

0:58:01.360 --> 0:58:04.000
<v Speaker 4>This age, at this age, these are the friends I got.

0:58:04.800 --> 0:58:06.920
<v Speaker 4>This is what I got. This is why I got

0:58:06.920 --> 0:58:10.520
<v Speaker 4>to deal with these bitches. I'm like, they're got my nerves.

0:58:10.600 --> 0:58:12.800
<v Speaker 4>I don't have no choice if I have no friends.

0:58:13.640 --> 0:58:15.320
<v Speaker 2>So I think there are times like where you showed

0:58:15.400 --> 0:58:16.840
<v Speaker 2>up for me and I was like, oh shit, like

0:58:16.880 --> 0:58:20.040
<v Speaker 2>this is different than that, and I can I can

0:58:20.240 --> 0:58:23.439
<v Speaker 2>release that part of me that doesn't expect that love

0:58:23.600 --> 0:58:26.200
<v Speaker 2>or doesn't you know, want to count on a person

0:58:26.240 --> 0:58:28.919
<v Speaker 2>to show up in their darkest hour. But I think

0:58:28.920 --> 0:58:31.800
<v Speaker 2>that was one of the things that was extremely shifting

0:58:31.960 --> 0:58:34.320
<v Speaker 2>for a relationship because I think when you start or

0:58:34.320 --> 0:58:35.760
<v Speaker 2>an adult friendship.

0:58:35.320 --> 0:58:39.640
<v Speaker 4>It is with caution, you know, like who is this bitch?

0:58:40.560 --> 0:58:41.040
<v Speaker 4>Who are you?

0:58:41.160 --> 0:58:41.240
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:58:41.280 --> 0:58:42.040
<v Speaker 4>What do you really want?

0:58:42.160 --> 0:58:45.520
<v Speaker 2>You know, the same people, yeah, like do you know okay?

0:58:46.360 --> 0:58:49.400
<v Speaker 2>But when you started to show up for me, you know,

0:58:49.440 --> 0:58:52.919
<v Speaker 2>because inevitably it doesn't start that way, but when things

0:58:52.960 --> 0:58:54.840
<v Speaker 2>start real, shit started to happen and.

0:58:54.760 --> 0:58:57.120
<v Speaker 4>You continued continue to be there.

0:58:57.240 --> 0:58:59.920
<v Speaker 2>Like I got an abortion the first year that the

0:59:00.240 --> 0:59:03.200
<v Speaker 2>fucking show started, and it was with the nigga across country.

0:59:03.240 --> 0:59:05.160
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have no business having a baby with And

0:59:05.200 --> 0:59:08.480
<v Speaker 2>thank god, my inner witch said bitch s shitsh morshin

0:59:11.720 --> 0:59:16.160
<v Speaker 2>for real and Erica took me to play Para hairt

0:59:16.200 --> 0:59:17.880
<v Speaker 2>like five am. I wrote about this in the book,

0:59:18.000 --> 0:59:21.400
<v Speaker 2>with fucking Iry in the backseat, and I was like

0:59:21.560 --> 0:59:24.160
<v Speaker 2>looked over, like this pitch is really my friend, and

0:59:24.200 --> 0:59:26.680
<v Speaker 2>there was no judgment, there was no questions, and like

0:59:26.720 --> 0:59:28.000
<v Speaker 2>I was like, you could just let you could just

0:59:28.080 --> 0:59:29.479
<v Speaker 2>let me out here, and You're like, no, I'm gonna

0:59:29.480 --> 0:59:29.720
<v Speaker 2>come in.

0:59:29.760 --> 0:59:34.000
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, okay, I just leave you there.

0:59:34.320 --> 0:59:36.800
<v Speaker 2>And the lobby like I'm fucking fifteen, and the fucking

0:59:37.040 --> 0:59:40.320
<v Speaker 2>playing parahead. But I didn't even if though I wanted

0:59:40.360 --> 0:59:42.800
<v Speaker 2>to get out of the car and deal with it myself.

0:59:42.720 --> 0:59:45.240
<v Speaker 4>You didn't let me. And I needed that, you know.

0:59:45.320 --> 0:59:46.240
<v Speaker 1>I really needed.

0:59:45.960 --> 0:59:48.440
<v Speaker 2>Someone to be like, even if you don't ask for it,

0:59:49.600 --> 0:59:52.720
<v Speaker 2>so emotional, even if you don't ask for it, I'm

0:59:52.720 --> 0:59:53.760
<v Speaker 2>gonna be here, you know.

0:59:53.960 --> 0:59:56.880
<v Speaker 4>And I think that's the difference. I think as women,

0:59:58.080 --> 0:59:59.120
<v Speaker 4>especially as Black.

0:59:58.920 --> 1:00:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Women, you've and so strong and you've dealt with shit

1:00:01.960 --> 1:00:02.600
<v Speaker 2>by yourself.

1:00:02.760 --> 1:00:04.760
<v Speaker 4>It's like I got this.

1:00:04.960 --> 1:00:07.600
<v Speaker 2>But when someone is like you got it, but I'm

1:00:07.640 --> 1:00:12.160
<v Speaker 2>here still, those are the shifting points. And I think

1:00:12.600 --> 1:00:14.760
<v Speaker 2>because we are so strong, because we deal with shit

1:00:14.920 --> 1:00:19.040
<v Speaker 2>so often alone or we're programmed in this like hyper

1:00:19.040 --> 1:00:22.160
<v Speaker 2>independence that we don't expect it and so when we

1:00:22.440 --> 1:00:25.240
<v Speaker 2>don't know how to receive it. And so I think

1:00:25.280 --> 1:00:28.720
<v Speaker 2>this relationship has really allowed me to take inventory of

1:00:28.760 --> 1:00:31.840
<v Speaker 2>that and then receive it and then also be like,

1:00:31.960 --> 1:00:34.040
<v Speaker 2>you can do it, but you don't have to, you know.

1:00:34.120 --> 1:00:35.960
<v Speaker 2>And those are the type of friendships I think that

1:00:36.800 --> 1:00:40.480
<v Speaker 2>are divine and that are you know, life changing, And

1:00:40.520 --> 1:00:42.400
<v Speaker 2>this has been a life changing relationship.

1:00:42.520 --> 1:00:48.160
<v Speaker 4>And we've come up on some magical fucking I don't know,

1:00:48.280 --> 1:00:51.760
<v Speaker 4>like I don't know what the fuck, I'm a bird,

1:00:51.840 --> 1:00:56.040
<v Speaker 4>I'm like fucking gem, you know, some treasure that has

1:00:58.080 --> 1:00:58.920
<v Speaker 4>has like.

1:01:00.640 --> 1:01:04.200
<v Speaker 2>Allowed us to rebirth in this phoenix M S E

1:01:04.400 --> 1:01:07.440
<v Speaker 2>with each other, you know. And I think that women

1:01:07.840 --> 1:01:14.480
<v Speaker 2>really have the the ability to do that for each other, right,

1:01:14.680 --> 1:01:17.960
<v Speaker 2>we are so magical we birth people. And so when

1:01:18.000 --> 1:01:21.760
<v Speaker 2>we bring that magic and you know that co creation,

1:01:22.520 --> 1:01:25.720
<v Speaker 2>that sex energy without the sex, you guys, you know

1:01:26.160 --> 1:01:30.200
<v Speaker 2>that creative energy, then something really magical and powerful can

1:01:30.240 --> 1:01:33.360
<v Speaker 2>be exchanged and be created. And I think we are

1:01:33.960 --> 1:01:37.240
<v Speaker 2>a living proof of that, you know. And s like

1:01:37.320 --> 1:01:39.760
<v Speaker 2>literally cook some shit up in the kitchen and here

1:01:39.800 --> 1:01:40.120
<v Speaker 2>we are.

1:01:41.160 --> 1:01:44.480
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, that eighty twenty. Shit is real.

1:01:44.800 --> 1:01:46.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think it is too. And I think about just.

1:01:49.320 --> 1:01:52.240
<v Speaker 3>Even my friends outside, like my friends outside of this

1:01:52.320 --> 1:01:53.680
<v Speaker 3>are also your friends outside of this.

1:01:54.240 --> 1:01:56.040
<v Speaker 1>But I even I even.

1:01:55.960 --> 1:01:58.600
<v Speaker 3>Like, I'm like, damn, I'm blessed because it's I got

1:01:58.640 --> 1:02:04.560
<v Speaker 3>like it's more like forty sixty uh for me, Like

1:02:04.600 --> 1:02:07.280
<v Speaker 3>I have a very solid, beautiful group of friends that

1:02:07.320 --> 1:02:09.440
<v Speaker 3>I know that I can rely on for different things

1:02:09.480 --> 1:02:12.320
<v Speaker 3>and and also everything too at the same time, like

1:02:12.360 --> 1:02:15.760
<v Speaker 3>I know which friend is am is maybe more gifted

1:02:15.760 --> 1:02:17.800
<v Speaker 3>in supporting me in this way or that way or

1:02:17.840 --> 1:02:20.960
<v Speaker 3>this way, but ultimately, each and every one of them,

1:02:21.040 --> 1:02:23.280
<v Speaker 3>the ones I really choose to call my friends and sisters,

1:02:23.320 --> 1:02:26.320
<v Speaker 3>are going to to show up for me no matter what. Absolutely,

1:02:26.520 --> 1:02:30.480
<v Speaker 3>you know. And I realize how I know how where

1:02:30.600 --> 1:02:34.840
<v Speaker 3>that is, I know how how isolating it is, and

1:02:34.880 --> 1:02:36.920
<v Speaker 3>I know that because of so many people that well,

1:02:36.960 --> 1:02:39.400
<v Speaker 3>I know because myself, I mean, I've I've I've always

1:02:39.480 --> 1:02:41.400
<v Speaker 3>had a a s a group of friends.

1:02:41.480 --> 1:02:42.840
<v Speaker 1>But it wasn't until I had.

1:02:42.680 --> 1:02:44.840
<v Speaker 3>My daughter that I realized I didn't have I was

1:02:44.880 --> 1:02:49.560
<v Speaker 3>more leaning on like the ten ninety and and then

1:02:49.920 --> 1:02:52.400
<v Speaker 3>just within this work and talking to so many women

1:02:52.600 --> 1:02:55.000
<v Speaker 3>and then beying like I ain't got nobody, Like I

1:02:55.080 --> 1:02:59.440
<v Speaker 3>don't even know where to begin, and so I think, like, uh,

1:02:59.480 --> 1:03:02.200
<v Speaker 3>what the beauty full thing that our entity has created

1:03:02.320 --> 1:03:07.040
<v Speaker 3>has been this birthing of a community where women who

1:03:07.080 --> 1:03:11.120
<v Speaker 3>don't have friends can find each other. And it does

1:03:11.200 --> 1:03:13.680
<v Speaker 3>require you to get uncomfortable. It does require and you

1:03:13.760 --> 1:03:19.080
<v Speaker 3>go out on a limb. It may not be like seamless.

1:03:19.080 --> 1:03:20.920
<v Speaker 3>You may not just find your bestie walking down the

1:03:20.920 --> 1:03:22.600
<v Speaker 3>street and that's your fucking storyline.

1:03:22.680 --> 1:03:25.400
<v Speaker 1>Like, no, you might have to really nurture that relationship.

1:03:26.520 --> 1:03:29.640
<v Speaker 1>And that brings me to my last statistic.

1:03:30.080 --> 1:03:31.080
<v Speaker 4>Kind of statistic queen.

1:03:31.880 --> 1:03:35.760
<v Speaker 3>It takes about eleven different encounters that are that are

1:03:36.360 --> 1:03:40.240
<v Speaker 3>each three hours long over a period of six months

1:03:40.320 --> 1:03:43.840
<v Speaker 3>to turn an acquaintance into a real friend.

1:03:43.840 --> 1:03:44.479
<v Speaker 4>That makes sense.

1:03:44.760 --> 1:03:50.040
<v Speaker 2>I think by the time, like between March and shit August,

1:03:50.160 --> 1:03:53.880
<v Speaker 2>it's just when like I got that abortion. We when

1:03:53.880 --> 1:03:56.120
<v Speaker 2>we started the podcast, we probably had not spent three

1:03:56.160 --> 1:04:02.120
<v Speaker 2>hours consecutively together, do you think so that first episode.

1:04:02.720 --> 1:04:05.440
<v Speaker 4>Was probably the beginning, the beginning of us spending.

1:04:05.640 --> 1:04:07.760
<v Speaker 2>That may have been our second time spending three hours together.

1:04:08.120 --> 1:04:10.440
<v Speaker 2>In the first two were photo shooting in a shopping.

1:04:11.120 --> 1:04:12.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm not joking like that.

1:04:12.640 --> 1:04:14.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm probably the one time I went to the club,

1:04:14.160 --> 1:04:17.440
<v Speaker 2>but that doesn't count when we're talking, right, But honestly,

1:04:17.720 --> 1:04:21.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, though, like this this exact space.

1:04:21.200 --> 1:04:22.640
<v Speaker 4>You know, obviously not physically here.

1:04:22.680 --> 1:04:26.960
<v Speaker 2>But good Mom's bad choices were the three hour conversations

1:04:26.960 --> 1:04:31.720
<v Speaker 2>over a six month period that took our relationship from

1:04:32.320 --> 1:04:36.000
<v Speaker 2>zero to best friends quickly. And you know, I have

1:04:36.000 --> 1:04:38.560
<v Speaker 2>other friends who just like started texting me a lot

1:04:38.640 --> 1:04:40.160
<v Speaker 2>their business and I was like, oh, okay, I guess

1:04:40.160 --> 1:04:41.040
<v Speaker 2>for friends.

1:04:40.720 --> 1:04:42.200
<v Speaker 4>You know, and I'm that type of bitch.

1:04:42.760 --> 1:04:45.480
<v Speaker 2>But I realized that women have a hard time being vulnerable,

1:04:46.000 --> 1:04:49.120
<v Speaker 2>and women have a hard time like I think, you know,

1:04:49.200 --> 1:04:51.040
<v Speaker 2>I say for black women a lot because I'm a

1:04:51.040 --> 1:04:51.520
<v Speaker 2>black woman.

1:04:51.600 --> 1:04:53.680
<v Speaker 4>It's all I know, it's the only experience I have.

1:04:54.320 --> 1:04:56.959
<v Speaker 2>But we've also been very much conditioned to like, don't

1:04:57.000 --> 1:04:59.880
<v Speaker 2>tell your business and to show up a certain way

1:05:00.040 --> 1:05:02.600
<v Speaker 2>and too like our shit has to be together, you

1:05:02.600 --> 1:05:04.160
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean. And there's been times in our

1:05:04.200 --> 1:05:08.440
<v Speaker 2>relationship where, like I knew we were dealing in different realms,

1:05:08.480 --> 1:05:10.920
<v Speaker 2>but I still felt comfortable enough to tell you, like

1:05:10.960 --> 1:05:12.920
<v Speaker 2>my car got repossessed in front of Erica's house, and

1:05:12.920 --> 1:05:15.320
<v Speaker 2>I was embarrassed, but I didn't this is where I

1:05:15.400 --> 1:05:18.000
<v Speaker 2>was at, and I had a friend who wasn't gonna

1:05:18.080 --> 1:05:21.360
<v Speaker 2>judge me or and I felt embarrassed and I felt ways,

1:05:21.400 --> 1:05:24.400
<v Speaker 2>but it wasn't like it. It's never been judgment. It's like,

1:05:24.400 --> 1:05:26.600
<v Speaker 2>oh I got pregnant by this dumbass guy. It's never

1:05:26.640 --> 1:05:28.560
<v Speaker 2>been judgment. It's like, what are we gonna do? And

1:05:28.600 --> 1:05:32.240
<v Speaker 2>how are we gonna how are we gonna heal you?

1:05:31.840 --> 1:05:33.600
<v Speaker 4>You know? What can I do for you?

1:05:33.920 --> 1:05:37.080
<v Speaker 2>And I think that we fuck ourselves a lot not

1:05:37.160 --> 1:05:39.880
<v Speaker 2>being able to show up as ourselves, you know, vulnerable,

1:05:39.960 --> 1:05:40.520
<v Speaker 2>fucked up.

1:05:41.040 --> 1:05:43.920
<v Speaker 4>Sometimes it's not beautiful. And I'm one of those people.

1:05:43.720 --> 1:05:46.080
<v Speaker 2>Who really wants to present is everything is okay, because

1:05:46.120 --> 1:05:48.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't want too much of your attention because I

1:05:48.760 --> 1:05:51.240
<v Speaker 2>think it's weird and I can deal with it by myself.

1:05:51.640 --> 1:05:53.840
<v Speaker 2>But it does require that you kind of let go

1:05:53.920 --> 1:05:57.840
<v Speaker 2>of that perfection, Like perfection isn't in order to be

1:05:57.960 --> 1:05:59.680
<v Speaker 2>vulnerable in a friendship in a real way.

1:06:00.120 --> 1:06:03.520
<v Speaker 4>Not yeah, yeah, because we all have some shit you have.

1:06:03.480 --> 1:06:04.240
<v Speaker 1>To you have to do.

1:06:04.280 --> 1:06:07.680
<v Speaker 3>If you if you really say you want the friendship

1:06:07.800 --> 1:06:11.360
<v Speaker 3>or the friend group that you desire, there is a

1:06:11.440 --> 1:06:13.960
<v Speaker 3>disarming that has to happen or else you can just

1:06:14.000 --> 1:06:15.680
<v Speaker 3>have a bunch of you can just have a bunch

1:06:15.680 --> 1:06:18.080
<v Speaker 3>of eighty friends and you be in that group too.

1:06:18.120 --> 1:06:19.960
<v Speaker 3>You're gonna be the eighty friend to a lot of bitches,

1:06:20.000 --> 1:06:20.520
<v Speaker 3>and you won't.

1:06:20.640 --> 1:06:22.560
<v Speaker 1>You won't. You're not even part of the twenty percent.

1:06:22.600 --> 1:06:24.920
<v Speaker 2>But then when you actually need somebody you have, you

1:06:25.160 --> 1:06:27.440
<v Speaker 2>won't even feel comfortable calling any of those bitches, right,

1:06:28.040 --> 1:06:31.600
<v Speaker 2>And that is that's of all of the things that

1:06:31.640 --> 1:06:36.400
<v Speaker 2>we've that we've cultivated, Like, our friendship is my most

1:06:36.480 --> 1:06:39.600
<v Speaker 2>proud like the thing I'm most proud of, and like

1:06:39.640 --> 1:06:42.440
<v Speaker 2>it really is a marriage, you know, it really is

1:06:42.480 --> 1:06:47.200
<v Speaker 2>a marriage. Like we've put in the work and we

1:06:47.280 --> 1:06:52.160
<v Speaker 2>are constantly finding new ways to better our friendship so

1:06:52.200 --> 1:06:55.800
<v Speaker 2>that we can keep doing the work for the community.

1:06:57.760 --> 1:07:02.919
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, well that's cheers to that you don't barely

1:07:02.960 --> 1:07:03.760
<v Speaker 3>have nothing to dream.

1:07:03.800 --> 1:07:07.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I mean, I guess cheers to forever

1:07:07.280 --> 1:07:11.800
<v Speaker 2>friendship and to being vulnerable in them and sharing the

1:07:11.920 --> 1:07:15.080
<v Speaker 2>message of sisterhood.

1:07:19.640 --> 1:07:23.480
<v Speaker 4>So I brought couples.

1:07:24.680 --> 1:07:29.000
<v Speaker 2>We're not really strangers because we're a couple. Actually, they're

1:07:29.040 --> 1:07:33.760
<v Speaker 2>sending us some stuff. Yeah, send us some money.

1:07:34.840 --> 1:07:37.160
<v Speaker 4>What have you been extra sensitive too lately?

1:07:42.040 --> 1:07:56.560
<v Speaker 13>What have I been extra sensitive too lately? M Because

1:07:56.560 --> 1:07:58.440
<v Speaker 13>the same should have always sends it up about.

1:08:01.040 --> 1:08:02.360
<v Speaker 4>Which is I.

1:08:02.560 --> 1:08:04.280
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm very sensitive.

1:08:03.880 --> 1:08:07.240
<v Speaker 3>About how I parent and like how I show up

1:08:07.280 --> 1:08:10.360
<v Speaker 3>as a parent. Really Yeah, when people have opinions like

1:08:10.600 --> 1:08:19.320
<v Speaker 3>my mom, I think I'm also been extra sensitive to touch,

1:08:19.800 --> 1:08:23.240
<v Speaker 3>physical touch. I think because I I mean, I'm I'm

1:08:23.280 --> 1:08:25.840
<v Speaker 3>a touchy type of bitch anyway with.

1:08:25.280 --> 1:08:27.400
<v Speaker 1>With men, not so much women, which I'm not like,

1:08:27.439 --> 1:08:33.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm always trying to work on why are you laughing?

1:08:33.320 --> 1:08:34.080
<v Speaker 1>Why are you laughing?

1:08:34.080 --> 1:08:34.640
<v Speaker 7>Everything?

1:08:35.040 --> 1:08:42.880
<v Speaker 3>With women, I feel very I think my heart is

1:08:43.000 --> 1:08:43.639
<v Speaker 3>very sensitive.

1:08:43.640 --> 1:08:44.559
<v Speaker 1>It's very sensitive.

1:08:44.600 --> 1:08:48.000
<v Speaker 3>It's very open because after my last relationship, I told myself,

1:08:48.000 --> 1:08:51.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm not like closing myself off and I wasn't going

1:08:51.200 --> 1:08:53.200
<v Speaker 3>to like harden myself. And that was also the message

1:08:53.200 --> 1:08:54.840
<v Speaker 3>I got last year when I also tried to I

1:08:56.400 --> 1:08:58.880
<v Speaker 3>was like, I'm not you should I should have Yeah,

1:08:58.880 --> 1:09:00.360
<v Speaker 3>And I did it, and then I got the voice

1:09:00.400 --> 1:09:01.960
<v Speaker 3>and the voice told me that your lesson is not over.

1:09:02.000 --> 1:09:03.479
<v Speaker 1>And then I went back and then I was like, Okay,

1:09:03.479 --> 1:09:06.240
<v Speaker 1>you got it, lesson is received.

1:09:06.560 --> 1:09:08.880
<v Speaker 4>Got it? We had it eleven months later got it.

1:09:09.000 --> 1:09:09.439
<v Speaker 4>We got it.

1:09:09.439 --> 1:09:10.280
<v Speaker 1>It was really important.

1:09:10.680 --> 1:09:11.680
<v Speaker 4>It was it was.

1:09:14.160 --> 1:09:18.320
<v Speaker 3>I think I'm just very sensitive to energy in general.

1:09:18.600 --> 1:09:22.519
<v Speaker 3>So I feel like I can feel people's energy even

1:09:22.600 --> 1:09:24.960
<v Speaker 3>more so than before. And like the other day, Mela

1:09:24.960 --> 1:09:26.760
<v Speaker 3>asked me if I'm an mpath and I like took

1:09:26.760 --> 1:09:28.720
<v Speaker 3>a very long time to answer, and then she was like, well,

1:09:28.720 --> 1:09:32.599
<v Speaker 3>you're not, bitch, and I was like, but I think

1:09:32.640 --> 1:09:34.840
<v Speaker 3>I am. And I think there's a spectrum of like

1:09:35.280 --> 1:09:38.680
<v Speaker 3>what empathy looks like for people and how deeply impacted

1:09:38.680 --> 1:09:42.479
<v Speaker 3>you are by people's energy, and mine is mine shows

1:09:42.520 --> 1:09:45.120
<v Speaker 3>up differently, Like some people cry very easily right like,

1:09:45.400 --> 1:09:48.000
<v Speaker 3>and I can tell me I can and I can cry.

1:09:48.080 --> 1:09:50.479
<v Speaker 1>I can cry easily too, depending on what it is,

1:09:50.560 --> 1:09:51.000
<v Speaker 1>but we can.

1:09:51.600 --> 1:09:54.320
<v Speaker 3>But I think, just in general right now, I feel

1:09:54.320 --> 1:09:56.280
<v Speaker 3>like just very sensitive to.

1:09:58.120 --> 1:09:59.759
<v Speaker 1>Energy and people overall.

1:10:00.400 --> 1:10:03.880
<v Speaker 2>What about you, Uh, yeah, I am always sensitive to

1:10:04.000 --> 1:10:04.759
<v Speaker 2>energy and people.

1:10:04.800 --> 1:10:09.920
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, I think that I am hyper sensitive. But

1:10:09.960 --> 1:10:13.960
<v Speaker 4>I think I'm really sensitive to myself.

1:10:14.920 --> 1:10:18.639
<v Speaker 2>Where as I'm like on this deep investigative journey into

1:10:18.920 --> 1:10:21.160
<v Speaker 2>why I am the way I am and how I

1:10:21.240 --> 1:10:25.800
<v Speaker 2>show up and being really conscious of the thoughts that

1:10:25.880 --> 1:10:28.600
<v Speaker 2>I have and honestly like like I've said this to you,

1:10:28.680 --> 1:10:31.520
<v Speaker 2>like even thoughts like about you or in a relationship,

1:10:31.600 --> 1:10:33.519
<v Speaker 2>or think you're mad at me, or even just like

1:10:33.600 --> 1:10:37.719
<v Speaker 2>how I respond to situations, and like I think then.

1:10:37.760 --> 1:10:40.320
<v Speaker 4>It's been I'm I'm sensitive to it because now I'm

1:10:40.360 --> 1:10:41.639
<v Speaker 4>it's time to do this work.

1:10:41.680 --> 1:10:43.760
<v Speaker 2>But I think it's also like the hardest work I've

1:10:43.800 --> 1:10:47.880
<v Speaker 2>ever had to do, not changing myself, but being open

1:10:48.120 --> 1:10:51.080
<v Speaker 2>to change about how I show up and even my

1:10:51.160 --> 1:10:55.160
<v Speaker 2>thought process and like, you know, recognizing when thoughts are

1:10:55.200 --> 1:10:57.920
<v Speaker 2>negative or and like or I'm feeling jealousy, you know,

1:10:57.960 --> 1:10:59.639
<v Speaker 2>and then I'm like that you need to do air element,

1:10:59.760 --> 1:11:02.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, Like I had this crazy it's so ridiculous.

1:11:02.360 --> 1:11:04.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to admit it and out loud. It

1:11:04.320 --> 1:11:08.720
<v Speaker 2>was so dumb. But immediately I was like, bitch, you

1:11:08.760 --> 1:11:10.559
<v Speaker 2>need to do your own limit, like you need to

1:11:10.560 --> 1:11:13.400
<v Speaker 2>sit down. And it helped, you know, but it was

1:11:13.479 --> 1:11:18.120
<v Speaker 2>just like a ridiculous thought. It was very childish and.

1:11:18.560 --> 1:11:20.519
<v Speaker 4>I had to check myself. And so I just think

1:11:20.560 --> 1:11:22.640
<v Speaker 4>that I'm in this this space where I was.

1:11:22.640 --> 1:11:24.040
<v Speaker 2>Like, I don't know if you're hanging out with somebody,

1:11:24.080 --> 1:11:26.880
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, jealousy, it's me poor.

1:11:27.880 --> 1:11:31.559
<v Speaker 4>It was stupid. It was like the last few weeks,

1:11:32.360 --> 1:11:35.760
<v Speaker 4>but I had to like check it, you know what

1:11:35.800 --> 1:11:37.479
<v Speaker 4>I mean, Like where is this coming from?

1:11:37.479 --> 1:11:40.360
<v Speaker 2>Like you it's literally made up, and just just being

1:11:40.400 --> 1:11:41.639
<v Speaker 2>cognizant of that, you know.

1:11:41.640 --> 1:11:43.639
<v Speaker 4>And just like all those things. So I think.

1:11:45.320 --> 1:11:46.480
<v Speaker 1>She was jealous.

1:11:48.400 --> 1:11:50.000
<v Speaker 4>For not the bitch I spent every week in a

1:11:50.080 --> 1:11:56.240
<v Speaker 4>moment with Psycho. But yeah, this really extra sensitive about

1:11:56.560 --> 1:11:59.880
<v Speaker 4>me lately, and like how I show up and who

1:11:59.880 --> 1:12:02.559
<v Speaker 4>I am, my tru.

1:12:05.439 --> 1:12:07.280
<v Speaker 3>What's something we used to do at the beginning of

1:12:07.280 --> 1:12:09.920
<v Speaker 3>our l What is something we used to do at

1:12:09.920 --> 1:12:12.719
<v Speaker 3>the beginning of our relationship that you miss the most?

1:12:13.280 --> 1:12:16.839
<v Speaker 4>I picked up. Yeah, I don't think we do anything

1:12:17.080 --> 1:12:24.400
<v Speaker 4>but nothing. It's never happening again.

1:12:25.439 --> 1:12:30.679
<v Speaker 1>M I guess hang out alone, hang out by ourselves more.

1:12:31.000 --> 1:12:32.680
<v Speaker 3>I think like when we hang out there's always a

1:12:32.680 --> 1:12:33.559
<v Speaker 3>lot of people around.

1:12:34.080 --> 1:12:35.120
<v Speaker 1>It's either like we're.

1:12:35.000 --> 1:12:37.160
<v Speaker 3>With our group of friends, or we're working, or there's

1:12:37.280 --> 1:12:41.640
<v Speaker 3>someone behind the camera or Orlando's there or whatever. It is, Like,

1:12:41.680 --> 1:12:45.840
<v Speaker 3>I think that I miss hanging out with you one.

1:12:45.720 --> 1:12:46.360
<v Speaker 4>On one more.

1:12:46.840 --> 1:12:49.599
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was gonna say working, I mean not working out,

1:12:49.880 --> 1:12:53.439
<v Speaker 2>hanging out without being work related or not having to

1:12:53.479 --> 1:12:56.599
<v Speaker 2>talk about anything. Work related, like I'm not doing nothing

1:12:56.680 --> 1:12:59.519
<v Speaker 2>but kind of yeah, kind of, you know, because there

1:12:59.560 --> 1:13:02.320
<v Speaker 2>was a time we're like, we're just doing this when

1:13:02.360 --> 1:13:03.760
<v Speaker 2>it was time to do this, and then we just

1:13:03.760 --> 1:13:04.200
<v Speaker 2>hang out.

1:13:04.360 --> 1:13:07.120
<v Speaker 4>But now it's like everything and revolves.

1:13:06.600 --> 1:13:09.120
<v Speaker 2>Around this machine that we've created and like how it

1:13:09.160 --> 1:13:10.800
<v Speaker 2>can improve and how it can be better, and how

1:13:10.800 --> 1:13:11.280
<v Speaker 2>we can make.

1:13:11.200 --> 1:13:13.240
<v Speaker 4>More money and like are we making money yet?

1:13:13.680 --> 1:13:17.040
<v Speaker 1>No? No, no, no, you.

1:13:17.000 --> 1:13:18.720
<v Speaker 2>Know, I never paying you know, And it's just like

1:13:20.040 --> 1:13:24.160
<v Speaker 2>a consciousness that has overtaken, not overtaken the friendship because

1:13:24.160 --> 1:13:29.439
<v Speaker 2>it's so deeply tied together. But yeah, like where we

1:13:29.479 --> 1:13:36.040
<v Speaker 2>can just kind of decompress and separate these two things,

1:13:36.800 --> 1:13:39.240
<v Speaker 2>which is difficult because our friendship is our business and

1:13:39.320 --> 1:13:39.920
<v Speaker 2>vice versa.

1:13:40.000 --> 1:13:45.080
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, like just being in the backyard naked, smoking weed, doing.

1:13:44.840 --> 1:13:46.600
<v Speaker 1>Nothing bringing into more of that.

1:13:46.960 --> 1:13:49.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, well summer's coming.

1:13:51.320 --> 1:13:52.080
<v Speaker 4>Okay, one more?

1:13:55.080 --> 1:13:58.240
<v Speaker 2>In what ways is this relationship unlike any other before?

1:14:00.720 --> 1:14:02.559
<v Speaker 1>It's so many ways.

1:14:02.960 --> 1:14:05.480
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

1:14:05.560 --> 1:14:08.360
<v Speaker 3>Uh. I think the level of like vulnerability I've been

1:14:08.400 --> 1:14:10.920
<v Speaker 3>able to that's been able to exist in this I

1:14:10.960 --> 1:14:13.400
<v Speaker 3>think also just and and vulnerability even in like my

1:14:13.439 --> 1:14:16.360
<v Speaker 3>deepest insecurity is about our relationship and being able to

1:14:16.400 --> 1:14:21.080
<v Speaker 3>say that out loud to you and on multiple occasions,

1:14:21.360 --> 1:14:25.280
<v Speaker 3>and probably I could do it even more honestly, And

1:14:25.360 --> 1:14:30.400
<v Speaker 3>so I think, like I've never experienced that with a woman.

1:14:30.960 --> 1:14:33.080
<v Speaker 3>I might've experienced that with a man because women were

1:14:33.120 --> 1:14:35.160
<v Speaker 3>really good at telling me cause how we feel, but

1:14:35.400 --> 1:14:38.320
<v Speaker 3>with women, we don't really do that. And so I

1:14:38.320 --> 1:14:40.479
<v Speaker 3>would say that like being able to do that, I

1:14:40.520 --> 1:14:41.480
<v Speaker 3>think also.

1:14:44.760 --> 1:14:47.240
<v Speaker 1>Being naked a lot, because I.

1:14:47.160 --> 1:14:48.679
<v Speaker 3>Don't really have a lot of friends that I would've

1:14:48.680 --> 1:14:50.160
<v Speaker 3>may been able to do that with. I mean, I

1:14:50.160 --> 1:14:52.800
<v Speaker 3>think I I've always felt pretty comfortable in my body

1:14:52.840 --> 1:14:55.280
<v Speaker 3>and being naked. I think when that comes from my

1:14:55.320 --> 1:14:57.120
<v Speaker 3>mom because she was really ni she was mute a

1:14:57.120 --> 1:14:58.800
<v Speaker 3>lot in the house, even though now she acts like

1:14:58.840 --> 1:15:04.320
<v Speaker 3>that ever existed. But but there's like, uh, the freedom

1:15:04.520 --> 1:15:09.280
<v Speaker 3>of like just I think existing in my body is

1:15:09.320 --> 1:15:10.960
<v Speaker 3>something that I never really got to do with any

1:15:10.960 --> 1:15:13.960
<v Speaker 3>woman in my life like that, thank you.

1:15:15.680 --> 1:15:18.479
<v Speaker 2>I think in what ways this relationship is unlike any

1:15:18.479 --> 1:15:19.040
<v Speaker 2>other before.

1:15:19.080 --> 1:15:20.720
<v Speaker 4>I think that we have been able to.

1:15:22.920 --> 1:15:27.599
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, grow together, consciously, healed together, and like be vulnerable

1:15:27.640 --> 1:15:30.519
<v Speaker 2>about the things that we're healing and where we're at,

1:15:30.760 --> 1:15:34.320
<v Speaker 2>and also just make the rules, you know, Like we've

1:15:34.400 --> 1:15:36.840
<v Speaker 2>really made the rules in our relationship and there's been

1:15:36.920 --> 1:15:38.880
<v Speaker 2>no blueprint, and it's like.

1:15:39.280 --> 1:15:40.400
<v Speaker 4>You wanna party this guy?

1:15:40.760 --> 1:15:44.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, wha party our friend's boyfriend with her permission?

1:15:45.000 --> 1:15:49.760
<v Speaker 4>Okay you know, and like, oh like just whatever, it is,

1:15:49.800 --> 1:15:51.080
<v Speaker 4>like you think I should shu?

1:15:51.160 --> 1:15:52.800
<v Speaker 2>You think we should send this guy a picture of

1:15:52.840 --> 1:15:54.599
<v Speaker 2>us inner lingerie and see if I'll come on our show.

1:15:55.320 --> 1:15:55.559
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

1:15:55.640 --> 1:16:00.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, shout out to band Lathan, Thanks thanks man.

1:16:01.120 --> 1:16:05.040
<v Speaker 3>I mean wait, not wait, not this being Neila's tactic,

1:16:05.120 --> 1:16:06.120
<v Speaker 3>because Mila.

1:16:05.920 --> 1:16:07.679
<v Speaker 1>Was like, we gotta get Kat Williams on our ship.

1:16:08.600 --> 1:16:10.840
<v Speaker 1>Was like, I have a probably run that tactic back.

1:16:10.840 --> 1:16:12.519
<v Speaker 4>I said, you think we just send the pictures on lingerie?

1:16:12.560 --> 1:16:14.439
<v Speaker 4>I think it's too thirsty now. But she was gonna

1:16:14.439 --> 1:16:15.360
<v Speaker 4>be too thirsty.

1:16:15.240 --> 1:16:19.080
<v Speaker 2>If worked back in twenty eighteen. Did I don't think

1:16:19.080 --> 1:16:21.360
<v Speaker 2>I sent? I told Nellie and she was like, no,

1:16:21.840 --> 1:16:23.639
<v Speaker 2>you can't ask the people. You can't ask old people.

1:16:23.680 --> 1:16:24.639
<v Speaker 2>You can't they don't understand.

1:16:24.640 --> 1:16:27.559
<v Speaker 4>No, you got no no, you know, pull pull cat's

1:16:27.600 --> 1:16:28.240
<v Speaker 4>DMS ups.

1:16:29.840 --> 1:16:30.639
<v Speaker 1>If anything's on the.

1:16:33.520 --> 1:16:36.200
<v Speaker 4>Cat is gonna understand the call, just like just like

1:16:36.400 --> 1:16:39.680
<v Speaker 4>Ban did. Fucking band what is he?

1:16:39.800 --> 1:16:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god?

1:16:41.760 --> 1:16:44.639
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, like just making the rules and just knowing

1:16:44.680 --> 1:16:49.120
<v Speaker 2>that I can be my full complete cells here, naked

1:16:49.520 --> 1:16:52.120
<v Speaker 2>titties out, your boyfriend there, your new boyfriend there. I

1:16:52.160 --> 1:16:55.439
<v Speaker 2>don't care what boyfriend this is, and just like be

1:16:55.720 --> 1:16:58.840
<v Speaker 2>full blown myself and know that you have my back.

1:16:58.640 --> 1:17:00.679
<v Speaker 4>And that there's no weird energy.

1:17:03.080 --> 1:17:05.559
<v Speaker 1>Hey amen, amen Amen.

1:17:08.439 --> 1:17:11.799
<v Speaker 2>So our males are about to come out because bitches

1:17:11.800 --> 1:17:15.519
<v Speaker 2>are very hungry now that we've smoked and Erica has

1:17:15.600 --> 1:17:19.960
<v Speaker 2>been dying, I mean fucking dying Erica and Luna for

1:17:20.040 --> 1:17:23.599
<v Speaker 2>us to do ASMR and wait side note. That's when

1:17:23.600 --> 1:17:25.240
<v Speaker 2>I was in the bathtub in Luna and she goes

1:17:26.080 --> 1:17:27.640
<v Speaker 2>she made me watch ASMR and I was like she

1:17:27.720 --> 1:17:30.280
<v Speaker 2>whispering the whole time and she's like yeah.

1:17:30.400 --> 1:17:32.760
<v Speaker 4>So she's like, let's who do you want to watch you?

1:17:32.960 --> 1:17:34.800
<v Speaker 4>And I was like no, and she puts us in.

1:17:34.880 --> 1:17:37.400
<v Speaker 4>She goes good Mom's Bad Choices with kids and I

1:17:37.400 --> 1:17:39.639
<v Speaker 4>was like, no, it's called the forest is a pharmacy. She'said,

1:17:39.680 --> 1:17:41.360
<v Speaker 4>oh yeah, And then I was like why do you

1:17:41.400 --> 1:17:43.280
<v Speaker 4>want to watch this? She's like, so you can see

1:17:43.400 --> 1:17:45.960
<v Speaker 4>like if you mess up. I was like, remain. She

1:17:46.000 --> 1:17:47.559
<v Speaker 4>was like, you canna see to watch yourself to see

1:17:47.560 --> 1:17:51.320
<v Speaker 4>if you mess up. She was okay, Well, I was like,

1:17:51.320 --> 1:17:54.000
<v Speaker 4>but I'm being myself. I don't think I can mess up.

1:17:55.040 --> 1:17:56.479
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, is she right? Do I need

1:17:56.520 --> 1:17:58.600
<v Speaker 4>to like watch to see what I do? Weird? Like,

1:17:58.800 --> 1:18:00.639
<v Speaker 4>you know what it is? You guys do letely honest.

1:18:02.120 --> 1:18:04.559
<v Speaker 2>I am so and I wouldn't say insecure, but I

1:18:04.600 --> 1:18:08.439
<v Speaker 2>am so overly conscious that I don't want to watch

1:18:08.439 --> 1:18:10.120
<v Speaker 2>it at all because I don't want to have any attachment.

1:18:10.120 --> 1:18:12.360
<v Speaker 2>If I don't like it, I literally just be like

1:18:12.520 --> 1:18:15.000
<v Speaker 2>it's done. I could have a bookheer in my nose,

1:18:15.000 --> 1:18:16.000
<v Speaker 2>I could do some Fox up shit.

1:18:16.000 --> 1:18:17.680
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, I don't know. I'm not having it.

1:18:17.760 --> 1:18:19.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm not looking at it because I don't like to

1:18:19.760 --> 1:18:21.720
<v Speaker 2>rewatch and like to we listen. I probably listen to

1:18:22.800 --> 1:18:25.320
<v Speaker 2>eighteen percent of our episodes in the last six years.

1:18:25.640 --> 1:18:28.519
<v Speaker 4>But when she said that, I was like, she's smart.

1:18:29.360 --> 1:18:31.280
<v Speaker 2>I could have been improving the last six years, but

1:18:31.320 --> 1:18:33.719
<v Speaker 2>I've avoided myself because it's too scary.

1:18:34.160 --> 1:18:36.240
<v Speaker 4>Not too scary for you, too scary for me.

1:18:37.479 --> 1:18:42.080
<v Speaker 2>So we finally for Erica, because we are here eating,

1:18:42.680 --> 1:18:46.639
<v Speaker 2>we are gifting the people which you've always been dying for.

1:18:47.960 --> 1:18:52.519
<v Speaker 3>Us eating and doing ASMR so if you want to

1:18:52.560 --> 1:18:54.400
<v Speaker 3>make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel because we're

1:18:54.439 --> 1:18:58.400
<v Speaker 3>going to create another channel for ASMR because all my

1:18:58.479 --> 1:19:00.280
<v Speaker 3>ASMR dreams are finally.

1:19:00.280 --> 1:19:02.639
<v Speaker 4>But hold your horses. I don't think we're recruiting another channel.

1:19:03.760 --> 1:19:05.880
<v Speaker 1>Doesn't know it yet, but we're creating a channel.

1:19:06.200 --> 1:19:08.880
<v Speaker 3>The channel's happening, and it's what's gonna take our YouTube

1:19:08.920 --> 1:19:11.599
<v Speaker 3>to the next level. Just to fucking wait, just you wait,

1:19:11.960 --> 1:19:14.040
<v Speaker 3>We're gonna come YouTube fucking stars on the rise.

1:19:14.080 --> 1:19:14.960
<v Speaker 4>What is that plaque?

1:19:15.040 --> 1:19:16.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're gonna be a plaque.

1:19:16.000 --> 1:19:17.880
<v Speaker 3>That's gonna see a million views and it's gonna be

1:19:18.040 --> 1:19:19.320
<v Speaker 3>that as Mr video.

1:19:19.160 --> 1:19:22.040
<v Speaker 1>Of you just lurping on fucking charboiled oysters.

1:19:22.200 --> 1:19:23.880
<v Speaker 4>It's gonna be like longer nails or something.

1:19:23.920 --> 1:19:28.639
<v Speaker 2>Okay, anyway, we love you, thank you for sitting through

1:19:28.640 --> 1:19:31.360
<v Speaker 2>this love fest of Erica, and I remember to love

1:19:31.400 --> 1:19:33.400
<v Speaker 2>on your friends, Remember to write your friends and love

1:19:33.479 --> 1:19:36.920
<v Speaker 2>letter order fucking are we really strangers? And get to

1:19:36.920 --> 1:19:39.639
<v Speaker 2>know your lovers and your wives and your friends better

1:19:40.120 --> 1:19:43.360
<v Speaker 2>and rate when we view this fucking episode and also

1:19:43.400 --> 1:19:45.800
<v Speaker 2>download it. I don't know if you know this. We

1:19:45.840 --> 1:19:48.400
<v Speaker 2>don't get streams unless people are downloading. So it's this

1:19:48.520 --> 1:19:51.640
<v Speaker 2>is not based on listens. It's based on downloads. So

1:19:51.680 --> 1:19:55.759
<v Speaker 2>if you haven't downloaded the episode, review it, leave a comment,

1:19:56.120 --> 1:19:59.360
<v Speaker 2>download it, because that's what actually matters, even if you're

1:19:59.400 --> 1:19:59.960
<v Speaker 2>the deleted late.

1:20:00.280 --> 1:20:03.160
<v Speaker 4>Honestly, you know where to find us.

1:20:03.280 --> 1:20:07.519
<v Speaker 2>Good Moms Underscore back Choices on Instagram, Good Momsbad Choices dot.

1:20:07.320 --> 1:20:09.960
<v Speaker 4>Com for everything Good Moms. We're coming to a city

1:20:10.040 --> 1:20:11.639
<v Speaker 4>near you very soon.

1:20:12.080 --> 1:20:15.559
<v Speaker 2>We have retreats lined up, we have merch, we have

1:20:15.640 --> 1:20:18.120
<v Speaker 2>good looks, and now we have ASMR.

1:20:18.360 --> 1:20:21.240
<v Speaker 4>So don't play yourself, treat yourself.

1:20:22.240 --> 1:20:25.120
<v Speaker 2>Subscribe to our YouTube channel and we'll see you next week.

1:20:25.320 --> 1:20:40.559
<v Speaker 1>Bye,