1
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:11,360
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, we're back. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours,

2
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,280
Speaker 1: Golden Hour. Thanks so much for joining us again.

3
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,440
Speaker 2: Hey Kathy, Hey Susan, it's so good to see you again.

4
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,360
Speaker 2: If you have not listened to our episode on Wednesday,

5
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,040
Speaker 2: I don't know. I keep saying the same thing, but

6
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,400
Speaker 2: I'm hopefully this time they're gonna listen. Check it out.

7
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 2: Susan and I had a great time, as we always do.

8
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,600
Speaker 1: We certainly did.

9
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,920
Speaker 3: We're a green more more and more. It's getting me scared, Susan.

10
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,559
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I hope you guys are all enjoying us,

11
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:41,080
Speaker 1: because we definitely enjoy hearing from you. So today we're

12
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:45,040
Speaker 1: gonna answer more of our fan questions. We're so excited

13
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:45,840
Speaker 1: to get into these.

14
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:47,720
Speaker 3: I can't wait.

15
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,520
Speaker 2: And we've got some great ones today. But don't forget.

16
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,560
Speaker 2: If you have a question for Susan and me, send

17
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,400
Speaker 2: them in. All you have to do it's really simple.

18
00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:01,720
Speaker 2: Go to Bachelornation dot com slash Golden type in your question.

19
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,480
Speaker 3: We will answer it. We love hearing from y'all.

20
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,679
Speaker 1: And before we get into these questions, you know what, Kath,

21
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:14,840
Speaker 1: we have our question today. Wait, how was your week

22
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,200
Speaker 1: so far? How about my weather.

23
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,800
Speaker 3: It's so hot and humid, it's ridiculous.

24
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,440
Speaker 2: I flew to California on a twenty four hour flight

25
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,000
Speaker 2: and I just got back and I don't know.

26
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,240
Speaker 3: It was crazy period.

27
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,400
Speaker 1: You're busy too, Oh God, Okay, you're ready for our

28
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,880
Speaker 1: question of the day, Cat, all right, go read to me.

29
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:42,200
Speaker 1: Topic for discussion is with the rise of TikTok quote

30
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,319
Speaker 1: find the cheater quote unquote type of videos have gotten

31
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:50,360
Speaker 1: really popular. This is when girls in Vegas at bars

32
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,040
Speaker 1: and so on, we'll catch a guy on his bachelor

33
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,080
Speaker 1: party making out with other girls or doing some other

34
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:02,240
Speaker 1: form of obvious cheating. So lots of young women will

35
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:06,440
Speaker 1: come to TikTok detailing the entire incident in the hopes

36
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:10,280
Speaker 1: that the video will blow up and find the girl

37
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:16,400
Speaker 1: so they can warn her. So, Kathy, the question today

38
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,920
Speaker 1: is when it comes to these find the Cheater videos

39
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,480
Speaker 1: that go viral on TikTok, do you think they do

40
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:25,919
Speaker 1: more harm than good?

41
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,480
Speaker 2: Well, since I've got a part time job filming these

42
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,880
Speaker 2: guys and getting paid by the cheaters, you know, just kidding,

43
00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,040
Speaker 2: you know, I think this comes down what we talk

44
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,720
Speaker 2: about a lot. There is a lot of good things

45
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,560
Speaker 2: on social media. Really we're going to post this on

46
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,760
Speaker 2: TikTok and warn the girl. Think about this for a second.

47
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,080
Speaker 2: Your daughter or your niece or someone's getting married and

48
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:56,359
Speaker 2: they're spending their time on TikTok looking to see if

49
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,880
Speaker 2: their fiance has been tagged or they've been tagged.

50
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,920
Speaker 1: Now, I think, you know what some things. Can I

51
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:09,280
Speaker 1: just say this quote really quick? Yeah, left unsaid, the

52
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,520
Speaker 1: least you know, the better. I don't agree with guys

53
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,000
Speaker 1: before they get married having an affair or whatever, a

54
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:19,240
Speaker 1: fling that is, you know, on their bachelor party.

55
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:20,080
Speaker 3: Right.

56
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,040
Speaker 1: But and then the girl finds out we had a

57
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,640
Speaker 1: question like that not too long ago, remember, and she

58
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,800
Speaker 1: was like it was years ago and they were all friends.

59
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:31,320
Speaker 2: On the other hand, that I mean, on the other hand,

60
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,200
Speaker 2: what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

61
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,240
Speaker 3: This is my point. I know, I think there's just

62
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:36,840
Speaker 3: too much.

63
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:42,920
Speaker 2: I think, I mean that this borders on you know, privacy,

64
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,360
Speaker 2: It borders on privacy issues. I think, uh, it's wrong.

65
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,080
Speaker 2: I think that this generation wrong.

66
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,960
Speaker 1: Cheating is wrong too. Prior to getting married.

67
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:58,320
Speaker 2: Yes, but I'm saying it's just it's ridiculous that this

68
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:02,080
Speaker 2: generation relies so much on you know. If it's on

69
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,320
Speaker 2: the internet, Susan, it must be true. If I saw

70
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 2: it on TikTok, it must be true.

71
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,240
Speaker 1: Right, So look at our show, Kathy, all the stuff

72
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:13,120
Speaker 1: that was said out there. It's just a question and

73
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,000
Speaker 1: they get people's minds going, and then all the comments

74
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,360
Speaker 1: and people think this stuff is really happening.

75
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

76
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,919
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, if if if you're old enough, not you,

77
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,480
Speaker 2: because we are, but if one is, if one is

78
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,760
Speaker 2: old enough to be getting married to somebody and you're

79
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:34,520
Speaker 2: judging the fidelity of your fiance on a TikTok video,

80
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,640
Speaker 2: you might want to rethink going down the aisle, getting

81
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,080
Speaker 2: married under the old oak tree.

82
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,480
Speaker 3: Whatever. You might want to rethink it.

83
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:47,040
Speaker 1: I mean, TikTok has some great things, but all.

84
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:51,000
Speaker 2: Social media it can be great, and it can be misused.

85
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:55,840
Speaker 2: And I think this is a clear misuse. If all

86
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:56,800
Speaker 2: those that you're.

87
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,320
Speaker 1: There with they do more harm than God.

88
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, be out there.

89
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,400
Speaker 2: If you are relying on TikTok to decide if you're

90
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,000
Speaker 2: making a mistake, Mary and your boyfriend, rethink it.

91
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,320
Speaker 3: Rethink the whole thing.

92
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:15,479
Speaker 1: All right, think leave the cheater alone. I will want

93
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,800
Speaker 1: to know. I just think it's stupid.

94
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,920
Speaker 2: That men need to wait a minute. Wait a minute.

95
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,000
Speaker 2: You wouldn't want to know if the guy you're marrying

96
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,280
Speaker 2: is cheating on you.

97
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,360
Speaker 1: I wish i'd never knew, because if I did find

98
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,960
Speaker 1: out that I love you?

99
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,000
Speaker 2: Problem, Wait a minute, how much do I love you?

100
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,640
Speaker 2: How much do I love you? I am here to

101
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,640
Speaker 2: tell you it's right that much I love you. And

102
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,840
Speaker 2: I am here to tell you. If I find out

103
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,000
Speaker 2: the guy I'm with is cheating on me, he is

104
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,880
Speaker 2: yesterday's news. I don't care if I'm halfway up the

105
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,200
Speaker 2: aisle I find that out, the wedding gifts are going back.

106
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:51,200
Speaker 2: I'm keeping the ring. We're done, all right, Let's move

107
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,520
Speaker 2: on to our Q and A.

108
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,680
Speaker 1: I think we should all right.

109
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,480
Speaker 2: Let me do the first one here. This is from anonymous. Hi,

110
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:03,200
Speaker 2: Kathy and Susan. My question is about friendships. I'm twenty

111
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,799
Speaker 2: five living in LA and I have a great group

112
00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:11,560
Speaker 2: of friends. Up until this point in my life, I've

113
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,520
Speaker 2: always been surrounded by girlfriends. I've always had guy friends

114
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,880
Speaker 2: as well, but my closest friends have always been women.

115
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,960
Speaker 2: I've unfortunately lost close girlfriends from high school and college

116
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:27,480
Speaker 2: and experienced a lot of really hurtful cattiness each time.

117
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,760
Speaker 2: Despite those toxic friendships, I'm lucky to say that I

118
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,760
Speaker 2: currently have a lot of really wonderful women that are

119
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,920
Speaker 2: close friends. The only problem now is that none of

120
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,760
Speaker 2: them live near near me. Sounds like you and me, Susan,

121
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,479
Speaker 2: I really miss having girls' nights, getting ready together, borrowing

122
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,040
Speaker 2: each other's clothes, going out, and having a great time.

123
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,600
Speaker 2: My friends that I see every weekend truly mean the

124
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,440
Speaker 2: world to me, and I wouldn't trade them for anything,

125
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:58,840
Speaker 2: but I occasionally find myself missing those girls' nights. I've

126
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,120
Speaker 2: also come to realize that being hurt by girlfriends in

127
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:06,000
Speaker 2: the past has really wounded my ability to trust women

128
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,800
Speaker 2: and make new relationships with them. Do you have any

129
00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:12,160
Speaker 2: advice on anything I can do to make the situation better?

130
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,320
Speaker 2: Thank you so much and love you both well.

131
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,320
Speaker 3: Thank you, Anonymous.

132
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,880
Speaker 1: What do you think, Susan, We love you back so

133
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,320
Speaker 1: number one, she's twenty five. I think that's a lot

134
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,000
Speaker 1: of it right there. I can as you were reading,

135
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,760
Speaker 1: I couldn't help but think of my daughter and what

136
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,120
Speaker 1: she went through with things like that. An I don't

137
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:36,920
Speaker 1: want to call you immature, Anonymous, but you will grow

138
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 1: and mature yourself, and you'll be able to differentiate the

139
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:47,400
Speaker 1: friendships and those that are true and meaningful. If you

140
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,440
Speaker 1: were hurt by one of them, when you're mature enough,

141
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,680
Speaker 1: you're going to talk to them about it and you

142
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,160
Speaker 1: won't allow things to happen to you, or you just

143
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,520
Speaker 1: find new friends. I mean, you don't hang out with

144
00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,400
Speaker 1: those kind of people.

145
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,400
Speaker 3: Well, so that I scary. Again, I'm agreeing with you.

146
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,560
Speaker 1: I think love it when I know it's like date night.

147
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,520
Speaker 2: I feel like you're right, But I also think that

148
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,040
Speaker 2: you know, friends, people come into our lives for a

149
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,960
Speaker 2: reason and a season, and so she's learning right from

150
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,440
Speaker 2: all these relationships. It's fair that she misses the girls'

151
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,800
Speaker 2: nights and she's been hurt by girls in the past.

152
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,760
Speaker 3: But you know what, Anonymous, like everything else.

153
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:32,240
Speaker 2: In life, you have to be willing to take good risks, right,

154
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,720
Speaker 2: So get yourself out there and make some new girlfriends.

155
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,840
Speaker 2: The lessons you've learned in the past will serve you

156
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,240
Speaker 2: well in your future.

157
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,920
Speaker 1: If it's in years and you're already going to be knowledgeable.

158
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:44,679
Speaker 3: You know what, I think.

159
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 2: I think that she was willing to ask this question

160
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,920
Speaker 2: shows me that she's feeling it. She's feeling it, and

161
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,439
Speaker 2: she's learned from her past. And you know what, Anonymous,

162
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,600
Speaker 2: we all learn I used to be a teacher. You

163
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,760
Speaker 2: don't learn from the things you do right in life, Anonymous,

164
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,839
Speaker 2: you learn from the things you do wrong. So get

165
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,640
Speaker 2: out there and make some new girlfriends, and you're going

166
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,240
Speaker 2: to find your situations a lot better.

167
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:12,120
Speaker 1: And one last thing, forgive and move on. Just forgive,

168
00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:17,439
Speaker 1: don't hold on to it forever. Yeah, thank you for writing.

169
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,959
Speaker 3: And good luck. I hope you find some great new friends.

170
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:34,199
Speaker 1: We have another Anonymous Kathy. Wow, Okay, hi, Kathy and Susan,

171
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,040
Speaker 1: I really need your help. I'm honestly too embarrassed to

172
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:42,120
Speaker 1: ask my friends about this. Uh oh, but will have

173
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,400
Speaker 1: an answer. We'll have an answer. My boyfriend and I

174
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,560
Speaker 1: have been together for a little over a year, and

175
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,920
Speaker 1: there's really only one thing that bothers me in our relationship.

176
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,800
Speaker 1: He follows a lot of girls on Instagram that post

177
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,240
Speaker 1: revealing pictures of themselves.

178
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:02,480
Speaker 3: Can we stop right there? To stop? Go ahead?

179
00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:07,439
Speaker 1: Sorry, I have here's a good one. I have absolutely

180
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,760
Speaker 1: no issue with women posting themselves. Whatever makes them comfortable

181
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,760
Speaker 1: and feel beautiful is what's important, very important line in this.

182
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:22,239
Speaker 1: I just find it really disrespectful that he follows them.

183
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,199
Speaker 1: I feel like having a crush or finding someone attractive

184
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,959
Speaker 1: is one thing that's healthy and unavoidable, but those are

185
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,760
Speaker 1: things you can keep to yourself. Being able to see

186
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:38,760
Speaker 1: my boyfriend who my boyfriend finds attractive and going out

187
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,480
Speaker 1: of his way to follow them engage with their content

188
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:46,680
Speaker 1: on Instagram is something that I think is disrespectful. I

189
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,280
Speaker 1: tried to talk to my mom about it, but social

190
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,599
Speaker 1: media is something that I know she just doesn't understand,

191
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,760
Speaker 1: so she always says she doesn't get it, she doesn't

192
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,360
Speaker 1: get what the big deal is. I don't want to

193
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,240
Speaker 1: go to my friends about it because I honestly don't

194
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,800
Speaker 1: want them to know. The ability for someone to see

195
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:10,360
Speaker 1: that my boyfriend follows a ton of famously hot girls

196
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:15,240
Speaker 1: on Instagram makes me feel really embarrassed. So my question is,

197
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,120
Speaker 1: how do I bring this up to my boyfriend. I

198
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,480
Speaker 1: always get really nervous because it's such a confusing feeling,

199
00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:24,640
Speaker 1: and I don't know how to tell him it bothers

200
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:28,840
Speaker 1: me without making it seem like I'm accusing him of cheating.

201
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,480
Speaker 1: I don't see this as cheating. I just see it

202
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,480
Speaker 1: as honesty. Shitty. What do I do.

203
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,440
Speaker 3: Oh, she doesn't see this as honesty. She sees it

204
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,040
Speaker 3: honestly as.

205
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,360
Speaker 1: Shitty as shitty. Whoa, that's a lot.

206
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:49,400
Speaker 2: So yeah, Well, first of all, I'm anonymous. I can't

207
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,320
Speaker 2: weigh in because I'm one of the hot hotties that

208
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,000
Speaker 2: he's following.

209
00:11:54,000 --> 00:12:00,920
Speaker 1: Wait, famously hatty, So she means famous people like that's no,

210
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,520
Speaker 1: I think the hobby.

211
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:04,719
Speaker 3: I don't know.

212
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,760
Speaker 2: Listen, I think there is there's more going on here

213
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:12,480
Speaker 2: that meets the eye. I think, Well, for me, it's

214
00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:17,200
Speaker 2: very interesting that she says in the beginning the line

215
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,840
Speaker 2: that you referred to, she doesn't have any problem with

216
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,000
Speaker 2: women being comfortable and putting themselves out there.

217
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,120
Speaker 3: Da da da da da.

218
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:29,680
Speaker 2: Well, okay, great, if your problem is not with the

219
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:35,080
Speaker 2: girls that he's following, your problem is with the boyfriend, Anonymous,

220
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:39,240
Speaker 2: guess what, you have to kindly go to your boyfriend,

221
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:43,080
Speaker 2: because really, what you're suffering from here, you're either envious

222
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,880
Speaker 2: or jealous or worried that he is cheating on you,

223
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,040
Speaker 2: and that this is just a metaphor for what else

224
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,320
Speaker 2: is he doing? You know, if he's following these girls online,

225
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,520
Speaker 2: what else is he doing? I think she's got some

226
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,360
Speaker 2: frust issues. I think she's got not in it. She's

227
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:03,440
Speaker 2: jealous that he's following these babes. That's what I'm I'm saying.

228
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,679
Speaker 2: I think I'm just giving you my opinion. Yeah, I

229
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:12,040
Speaker 2: think she said. I think she says, I'm not accusing

230
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:12,680
Speaker 2: Room of cheating.

231
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,320
Speaker 3: No, she's not.

232
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,440
Speaker 2: In her brain, she's thinking, Wow, I wonder if he's cheating.

233
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,640
Speaker 2: Maybe she's got some self esteem issues. Maybe she doesn't

234
00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:24,240
Speaker 2: think she's as hot as I am. I mean, that's

235
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:24,760
Speaker 2: the other way.

236
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:29,320
Speaker 1: Maybe she should get on there herself and show them houth. Well,

237
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:34,120
Speaker 1: here's my question. Does he realize she knows about who

238
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:37,240
Speaker 1: he follows? Is she doing a private eye thing and sneaking?

239
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,720
Speaker 3: Does matter? Doesn't matter?

240
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,360
Speaker 1: Well, yes, she'd have to come clean with that first.

241
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,920
Speaker 1: She would have to say, Babe, I checked out who

242
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,240
Speaker 1: you follow on Instagram.

243
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,120
Speaker 2: Well, and I'm on Instagram, but susan their friends on Instagram.

244
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,960
Speaker 2: The way Instagram works, you know, if I'm friends with you,

245
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,760
Speaker 2: I can see who your friends are on Instagram. You know,

246
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,600
Speaker 2: you can see what other people are posting. So I

247
00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:05,200
Speaker 2: think it's I think this is much ado about something,

248
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,880
Speaker 2: and I'm calling it out. I think the something is

249
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,080
Speaker 2: she's worried he's cheating.

250
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:14,360
Speaker 1: She's nervous, and it's such a confusing feeling. And yeah,

251
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,000
Speaker 1: I don't know how to tell him at.

252
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,720
Speaker 3: This Trust is not confusing that it's distrust.

253
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:24,160
Speaker 1: Seem like I'm accusing him. I think when you have

254
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,640
Speaker 1: this conversation, you're gonna come across as jealous, because.

255
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:31,640
Speaker 2: That's what she's either jealous, envious, or he's cheating, or

256
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:32,760
Speaker 2: she's worried he's cheating.

257
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,560
Speaker 1: So she's ask him, what do I do? What would

258
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,320
Speaker 1: you tell her to do?

259
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:40,840
Speaker 2: Kath, same thing you and I tell lots of people anonymous,

260
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:45,400
Speaker 2: sit them down, say I love you, honey, whatever it is,

261
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,000
Speaker 2: wherever you are in your relationship, and say this, you know,

262
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,680
Speaker 2: use the eye statements. I feel badly when I see this.

263
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,680
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm not enough for you. Whatever she's feeling,

264
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:01,800
Speaker 2: because you know what feelings are are okay, Your feelings

265
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,760
Speaker 2: are okay. If you say you this, you that, then

266
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,760
Speaker 2: you sound accusatory and that's.

267
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:07,560
Speaker 3: Never going to work.

268
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,840
Speaker 1: Use the C word communicate, Well, let's talking about it.

269
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,120
Speaker 1: You've got to talk.

270
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,480
Speaker 2: But it's how you talk about it. Yeah, how you

271
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,480
Speaker 2: talk about it. I think if you come across say

272
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,680
Speaker 2: I feel this way. He can at least hear how

273
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,360
Speaker 2: you're feeling. And I Anonymous, I'll bet you are a

274
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:28,560
Speaker 2: fabulous woman who just doesn't have quite the confidence that

275
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,280
Speaker 2: you think you have.

276
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,120
Speaker 3: So go and talk to him about it. Tell them

277
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:32,680
Speaker 3: how you feel.

278
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,480
Speaker 1: So I have one more thing to add to that.

279
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 1: I know some women have issues with their husband on

280
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 1: porn all the time. A lot of men watch a

281
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,960
Speaker 1: lot of porn. You know, I don't know that I'd

282
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,160
Speaker 1: be okay with that if he did that all the

283
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,200
Speaker 1: time without me, you know what I mean. So he's

284
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,840
Speaker 1: following these hot babes. Sometimes it's just a sexy body

285
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,760
Speaker 1: like man looking at Playboy ors. That's so outdated, you

286
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,560
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Just looking at it hot well

287
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 1: is a thing. It's amazing. But Susan, it's only a thing.

288
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 2: It's Listen, what works for one couple may not work

289
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,800
Speaker 2: for another couple, right, So if it works for Anonymous

290
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 2: and her boyfriend, great, But she thinks it's disrespectful. So

291
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:21,080
Speaker 2: if she's feeling disrespected, she said, Anonymous, you got to

292
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,600
Speaker 2: tell him how you feel. And that's you know, that's

293
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 2: something I wish more women were comfortable with you. Don't

294
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,800
Speaker 2: have to scream, rant or ray. Just tell him how

295
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:31,400
Speaker 2: you feel.

296
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:36,280
Speaker 1: And I wish stay comfortable in your own skin, sweetheart,

297
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,800
Speaker 1: respect yourself. Once you love and respect yourself, you're not

298
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 1: going to hold back if that's bothering you. Just like

299
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:47,160
Speaker 1: Kathy said, have a conversation and use the word I

300
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,680
Speaker 1: not because of you.

301
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't say you do this to me, you do that.

302
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 2: The I statements are always better nobody Candy can give you.

303
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,040
Speaker 1: For instance, it's your boyfriend doing this and you're going

304
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,320
Speaker 1: to say something, how you.

305
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 2: Go, I'm going to say, I'm bringing my friend Susan

306
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,560
Speaker 2: Noles over, she's got a baseball that she's taking it

307
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,200
Speaker 2: out on you.

308
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,200
Speaker 3: That's the eye statement I'm making.

309
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,119
Speaker 1: Hey, babe, you know what if I got all sexed

310
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,000
Speaker 1: up and put myself out there. You follow all these chicks.

311
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:21,920
Speaker 2: I honestly, I mean, I see why she's upset because

312
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 2: she feels insecure.

313
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,120
Speaker 3: So what you're saying? What would I say to my guy?

314
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:27,600
Speaker 1: Yeah?

315
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:32,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it was me, i'd say, look, I know

316
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,320
Speaker 2: you're following all these twenty year olds. Do you want

317
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,520
Speaker 2: a twenty year old because they don't want you? So

318
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,399
Speaker 2: let's get back to me. That's how I feel.

319
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,880
Speaker 1: I love it so anonymous. I hope we've helped you.

320
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,359
Speaker 1: But the whole thing, the whole world this story is

321
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,119
Speaker 1: talk to him. You'll talk to me confident. Yeah, be

322
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 1: confident in yourself and tell him how you feel. And

323
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:57,919
Speaker 1: good luck to you. Okay, Marissa, moving on? You got

324
00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:58,240
Speaker 1: a name?

325
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,880
Speaker 2: Okay, Marissa, he's not anonymous. Hi cout, I love it too,

326
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 2: but we don't mind anonymous calls or now. Yeah, because,

327
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 2: like I said on another podcast, if you have the question,

328
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,800
Speaker 2: somebody else does. So feel free. We love hearing your name,

329
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:17,240
Speaker 2: but you don't need to do it. Okay, Marissa says, Hi,

330
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:21,439
Speaker 2: Kathy and Susan, I need some dating advice pronto. I

331
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 2: feel like we as women always catch ourselves in the

332
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 2: same predicament when it comes to going on dates, trying

333
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:32,199
Speaker 2: to find someone. The guy is either too forward and smothering,

334
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 2: not into at all, or deceitfully shows interest when he's

335
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,880
Speaker 2: quote not ready for a relationship or whatever excuse they

336
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,360
Speaker 2: have that particular day. It's so hard. I don't want

337
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,919
Speaker 2: to entertain a guy just because he likes me. I

338
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,960
Speaker 2: want to tell someone that I like like me back

339
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 2: why is that so hard to find?

340
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 3: I don't know.

341
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:59,280
Speaker 2: But if Susan, if we find the answer, we have found, we've.

342
00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 3: Won the lot of a millionaire.

343
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 2: Really, Okay, I keep asking my mom for advice, as

344
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 2: my friends and I are all basically in the same boat.

345
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 2: But she always tells me I never give guys a chance.

346
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 2: It's really unfair because I do.

347
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 3: I do. I get to know them, I go.

348
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,480
Speaker 2: On a minimum of two dates with them if I

349
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,160
Speaker 2: feel like there's a chance, and I end things when

350
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 2: I when I know I'm not feeling it, and it

351
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 2: isn't fair to them. Any and all advice would be

352
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 2: much appreciated.

353
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,640
Speaker 1: Well, I think you're very fair giving them a sign.

354
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 3: It sounds to.

355
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 1: What is she doing wrong?

356
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:44,400
Speaker 3: I'm not listen. I don't see a problem here, Marissa.

357
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 2: First of all, out there, Yeah, you're having a lot

358
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 2: more dates since Susan and I are combined. So let's

359
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 2: start with that.

360
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,640
Speaker 1: I'll start there.

361
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 2: I mean, the guys too forward? What the hell does

362
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,440
Speaker 2: that mean? Too forward? Whatever?

363
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 1: I mean, if his hands are all over you first,

364
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 1: stay like, slow down, big boy, I'm gonna have or

365
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 1: in my case, keep it coming. No, come on, seriously,

366
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 1: So I'm confused as to her question about what advice

367
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 1: does she want, Like, we can't control what's out there,

368
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 1: and you know what, it's all part of the game.

369
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,880
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, I think she what I'm hearing is she's tired

370
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:26,360
Speaker 2: of dating guys and either they're not into her or

371
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,880
Speaker 2: she goes on dates like you and I do, and

372
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 2: we're watching the stop clock saying time to go.

373
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 3: And Marissa, the answer to that.

374
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 2: Is called dating. That like what you do, it's life

375
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 2: and when you meet the guy, you know it's going

376
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 2: to happen. Marissa, when you meet the guy that you

377
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 2: fall for and he falls for you, that clock is

378
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 2: going to stop. Time is going to stop, and all

379
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 2: of the rest of this is going to fall away.

380
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 2: So in my opinion, you are doing the right things

381
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 2: because every date you have you learn more about what

382
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,680
Speaker 2: you're looking for and a guy. So keep those dates coming.

383
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 2: Throw them to the curb when it doesn't you know,

384
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 2: when they're well, don't throw them that's you know, but

385
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 2: politely say have a nice day.

386
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,399
Speaker 3: And move on. I don't see a problem with this.

387
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 1: And as far as I'm concerned, this is a part

388
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,959
Speaker 1: of life, and you could do what I did if

389
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 1: you like I got off all the dating sites. I'm

390
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: taking a sabbatical. Are you in a hiatus hiatusabatical?

391
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 2: Yeah?

392
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 3: Whatever?

393
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,399
Speaker 1: You and I because you know what, honey, I felt

394
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 1: the same exact way. And then I start feeling guilty

395
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 1: because a few men would really be interested and I wasn't.

396
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 1: And that's even harder when you have to say, well,

397
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 1: that's what she said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like

398
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 1: Ketty said, you'll know, but maybe just take a break

399
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: from it all and just do.

400
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 2: You right, I mean I'd keep getting because that's how

401
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 2: she's going to find the guy.

402
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 3: But right, good luck, Marissa.

403
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 1: But let us know what happens.

404
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 3: Listen.

405
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: I bet you the best one will come next after this, I.

406
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 2: Know, Marissa, do us a favor. Ask them if their

407
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 2: dads and grandpas are married. If they aren't talking to

408
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 2: ride into the show. Thank you.

409
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 3: That was my past. That was my public service announcement

410
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 3: for the show.

411
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 1: All right, go carry on, okay, Charlee's right, hy Kathy

412
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 1: and Susan. I need some help with my little sister

413
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,880
Speaker 1: for contacts. I'm twenty seven and she's nineteen. About six

414
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 1: months ago, she started dating a guy she works with

415
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 1: who's twenty six. She works at a restaurant part time

416
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 1: while she's in school. I know she's a smart girl

417
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: with a good head on her shoulders, but there are

418
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: some things in life that you just come to learn

419
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 1: with age, and age gaps like these are one of them.

420
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,719
Speaker 1: They don't really have anything in common, and I remember

421
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 1: when they were just friends hanging out in the beginning,

422
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 1: she would make comments about how she felt bad that

423
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 1: he was obviously really into her. I really don't want

424
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 1: her to get trapped in a relationship she isn't into.

425
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: Breakups can already be so difficult, and they become even

426
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 1: harder when you're super inexperienced dating someone much more experience.

427
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 1: I trust that she's safe. Our family has met him,

428
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: and there are no causes for major concern. I just

429
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: feel like I can tell she's really unhappy because she's

430
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: not into him. But I don't want to come off

431
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:34,360
Speaker 1: as a know it all big sister where all she

432
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: hears is just dump him. How do I talk to

433
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: her about this? This will be my first time mentioning

434
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 1: it as a serious conversation. I've made supportive comments whenever

435
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:50,959
Speaker 1: she's casually mentioned him, encouraging her to not get sucked

436
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,679
Speaker 1: into an exhausting relationship. But I feel it's time to

437
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,199
Speaker 1: really seriously address this. I just don't want her to

438
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 1: miss out on the joys of or just being young

439
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,719
Speaker 1: and single because she can't find a way out of this.

440
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: I could be wrong, but I need to know for sure. Charlie,

441
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you wrote that sentence. I could

442
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 1: be wrong, because you could be and you could be

443
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: asking all this for nothing. Well, I mean, all right,

444
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 1: the kid's nineteen, I think.

445
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, you, there is when you're nineteen, and

446
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: that's a seven year age difference. And I actually agree

447
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 2: with Charlie's at that age.

448
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 1: My parents did, that's for sure.

449
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a it's a big age difference. It is.

450
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 2: However, However, just because this her sister said, you know,

451
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 2: she felt badly that he was obviously really into her

452
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 2: all those things. I mean, she may have changed her mind.

453
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 2: I think that you can talk to your sister. And again,

454
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,479
Speaker 2: it's all in the way you approach a topic.

455
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 3: I love you, since I loved.

456
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 1: You, you said that. It's the approach, it's the yes.

457
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 3: It's there.

458
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 2: It's so you know, sit down with your sister, go

459
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 2: out for a coffee, go out for a glass of

460
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 2: wine away she can't drink legally yet, you know, sit

461
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 2: down and chit chat with her and say, if you

462
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 2: guys have a good relationship, you can tell her what

463
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 2: your concerns are. I think the big warning here is

464
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 2: be careful that you don't come across as I'm smarter

465
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: than you, I'm older than you, and I have all

466
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 2: the right answers because as.

467
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: You just said, you know it'd be wrong. Yeah you're not,

468
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: you know, as well as just say I'm worried about you, sis.

469
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 1: But the part that she's trying to avoid her sister,

470
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 1: to avoid to protect hers going through heartbreak. She has

471
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: to go through heartbreak to get past it. I mean,

472
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 1: I don't wish it on anybody. I can count how

473
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 1: many times I've cried my eyes out growing up, and

474
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 1: you think it's the end of the world. But she

475
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: does have to experience this right, And I love that

476
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: you love her that much.

477
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 2: But but you know what she I think Charlie says,

478
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,400
Speaker 2: all her sister heres is just dump him. If Charlie said,

479
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 2: if that's all she's hearing, then modify your approach, change

480
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 2: your words and see if you can't get into a

481
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 2: better conversation about it and where she feels your love? Yeah,

482
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 2: love her, love her because you know what family is

483
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 2: so important?

484
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 1: It is it is and she's nineteen, so get ready

485
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 1: for anything. Yeah, but thank you for asking us, and

486
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 1: I wish you a ton of luck.

487
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 3: Good luck with your sister Charlie's Oh.

488
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: Your fair boy, Kathy. I hate this game. I never

489
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 1: do it way right.

490
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 3: It's time of going to play.

491
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,400
Speaker 1: A game more quandary.

492
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 3: I love this game.

493
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 2: And as soon as Susan learns how to play it,

494
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 2: I don't know, in the next six months or so, Uh,

495
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 2: it's going to be more fun. All right, we're gonna

496
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you the directions again, Susan, pay attention.

497
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,360
Speaker 1: Now, I'm supposed to guess what you would do. Right.

498
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 3: Oh, there you go a for effort today.

499
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,120
Speaker 2: All right, So we're gonna take turns of reading the quandary,

500
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 2: give our thoughts on what we think the other person

501
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: would do.

502
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 3: And I hear we I'm gonna give you the first one.

503
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 1: Okay.

504
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: You notice a former hookup, now now you know what

505
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 2: a hookup is?

506
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: Oh my god?

507
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, you notice a former hookup has been

508
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 2: liking your pictures and Instagram stories that are just of you.

509
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 3: When you go to his page, you see.

510
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 2: His girlfriend in a bunch of recent posts, so you're

511
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 2: able to find her page pretty quickly. Do you DM

512
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 2: her to tell her about what he's been doing? Or

513
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 2: keep it to yourself? Now, Susan, what would I do?

514
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 2: Would I DM? Would I DM her? Or would I

515
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:56,959
Speaker 2: keep it to myself? Don't think too.

516
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 1: I don't think you would DM her.

517
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 3: You're so right, congratulations, I knew you.

518
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 1: Yes, How do you think I would either?

519
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, Mike, no, I see you didn't

520
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 3: let me guess.

521
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 1: Oh, I got it half right.

522
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 3: Okay.

523
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 2: We're now six and a half months in Susan, still

524
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 2: learning the rule. No, no, no, five and a half.

525
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 2: I got half right. Okay, all right, I'll give it

526
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:21,919
Speaker 2: to you. So, yeah, I would not. I mean, lots

527
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,120
Speaker 2: of people like things. You know, we put too much

528
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 2: emphasis on someone clicking a like button. Get over it,

529
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 2: don't worry about it. Let them work out their life.

530
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 2: You live your life, let them live there, then move on.

531
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 1: I mean, he's not asking you out formally, he's liking something.

532
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: I obviously liked you because you hooked up, so let

533
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 1: it go. Yeah, yeah, all right, go all right. You

534
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: and your best friend are at him watching a movie

535
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: together with both of your boyfriends.

536
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 3: Oh, Susan, this sounds so much fun. Let's do it.

537
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: She is notoriously a talker during movies, but it's never

538
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: bothered you. You always just answer her questions if she

539
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 1: hasn't or don't even really notice if she just has

540
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: an audible reaction. Suddenly you realize your boyfriend is getting

541
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: seriously irritated by it. How do you proceed?

542
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 2: Well, I I can't tell you. After I tell you

543
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 2: you then I'm going to tell you a funny little story.

544
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 2: I think you would say, Kathy, shut the hell I

545
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 2: was gonna say, at the freaking movie, Kat, that's what

546
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 2: you would do? I would I would probably do something.

547
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: Yes with you?

548
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 3: Five months?

549
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: What would you?

550
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 3: What would I do?

551
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: Gaming? I'm gaining now you're doing the absolutely same thing.

552
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: Because if you guys are friends, it's annoying when somebody

553
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: talks through a movie. My best friends, Kathy, you're gonna

554
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 1: meet them, are gonna go to CALLI and see them?

555
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: My Italians from Middle Andrew.

556
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, Angelo talks to it.

557
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: He explains the entire movie to me, and his wife's like, aunt,

558
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: stop answered, I go, and I can't follow the movie

559
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: and keep talking.

560
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 2: Exactly I used to. I used to do this with

561
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 2: my husband. I used to ask questions and he would

562
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,239
Speaker 2: answer the same thing. He would answer them, and he did.

563
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: And one day he looked at me, goes, could you

564
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 2: just save your questions till the end of the movie,

565
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,479
Speaker 2: because I promise you most of the questions are going

566
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 2: to get answered if you just watch the movie. So

567
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 2: I stopped. You know, zip it, I'm telling you, zipp

568
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 2: it works in so many occasions. I'm like, I'm telling it.

569
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 2: I was smart when I said that. Okay, here we go.

570
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 2: During the night out, a stranger is being incredibly rude

571
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 2: to your group as a whole. Three of your friends

572
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 2: decide to stand up for you all and the strangers

573
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 2: being nothing but rude back You don't see what the

574
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 2: big deal is, but no one on either side is

575
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 2: backing down. Do you apologize on be off of your friends,

576
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: let them handle it, or proceed another way?

577
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 3: What would I do? And I bet you don't get this.

578
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: Right, During a night out, a stranger is being rude

579
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: to your whole group. Right, three of your friends decide

580
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: to stand up.

581
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 3: So basically there's an altercation here.

582
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 2: You got three friends telling this guy off who continues

583
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 2: to be rude.

584
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 1: Now, oh, no, back exactly what you do?

585
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 3: Oh really?

586
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 1: You would not apologize you You would say, dude, you're

587
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: being rude. They're right, move on.

588
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 2: No, for all of you out there, I am shaking

589
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 2: my head. You know what, I would really do? What

590
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 2: you've forgotten?

591
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 3: Believe it or not.

592
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 2: Bachelor of Nation won't believe this either. I run from altercation.

593
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 2: I would turn around and walk away and wait for

594
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 2: you a'll to finish.

595
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 1: That's exactly.

596
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 2: And I think you were back to five and a

597
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 2: half months, you would absolutely jump in there and say,

598
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 2: what the hell, shut up, leave my friends alone, get

599
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 2: over yourself.

600
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: You would you take about no, No, I do it

601
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 1: kindly though, trust.

602
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 2: Well, No, you'd be kind, but you would say you'd

603
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 2: get the point across that you'd had all the fun

604
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 2: you could handle and he needed to back off.

605
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: Do you do this every day to everybody? Do you

606
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: think that's attractive? I'm sorry now, I just we don't

607
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: have time for you.

608
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 2: You know, it's like having a political conversation. You're never

609
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 2: going to get that person to agree with you. Alrighty okay.

610
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 1: You have a friend that always posts terrible pictures of

611
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: the two of you where only she looks really good.

612
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: For your birthday, she posted one that you explicitly asked

613
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: her to delete when it was taken. Do you confront

614
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 1: her about this? Get even or let it go?

615
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 3: So Susan, this is so easy, so easy.

616
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 2: If you if I did this and posted a picture

617
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 2: of you, yeah, yeah, couldn't let me say it, you'd

618
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: kill me. You would say, I told you not to

619
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 2: post that picture. I'm coming after you.

620
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 3: I would say I'm so sorry, and I would delete it.

621
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: And what would you do?

622
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 3: Cat, I don't know you're gonna tell me? What would

623
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:05,240
Speaker 3: I do?

624
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 1: You'd say, Susan, really you had to pick that one,

625
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: didn't I tell you to delete that one?

626
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 3: And you would do the same thing. You would say,

627
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 3: I'm really sorry, I'll delete it.

628
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: Because you know if you told me you hated that picture,

629
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have posted.

630
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 3: Well, I wouldn't have either. I wouldn't have either.

631
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,719
Speaker 2: And you know what, if it's really a good friend,

632
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 2: I'd cut you out of it.

633
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: If I look that good, I just cut you out

634
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 1: and post it to me.

635
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: First, she'd blow it up, make it life size, put

636
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: it on poster board, and put along. She put it

637
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 2: in times square, and then all right, you're pet sitting

638
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 2: your friend's cat. Oh, this will be right at my alley.

639
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 2: You're pet sitting your friend's cat while they're away for

640
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 2: a few weeks, and you noticed the cat is constantly

641
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 2: being overfed? Do you mention this to your friend? Change

642
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 2: the cat's diet without telling her, or keep proceeding as

643
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 2: you were instructed to by your friend.

644
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: You have cats?

645
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 3: I have cats.

646
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: Are you going to try to change the diet? Are

647
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 1: you going to talk to your friend that you feel

648
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:10,320
Speaker 1: like they're being overfed? You would do that. I think

649
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,240
Speaker 1: I would do what you would talk to your friend

650
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,720
Speaker 1: when they got back. You keep the schedule and say listen,

651
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 1: I own cats too, and I feel like you're overfeeding

652
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 1: right now? Mind your own business.

653
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 3: Mind.

654
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say a damn thing. First of all, I

655
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 1: would cats.

656
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 3: I would you would for me? Would you for me?

657
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: I do anything for you? Cat? God, you're annoying.

658
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 3: I love you.

659
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 2: I cleaned your pool for you, as.

660
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 3: Long as it comes with a cabana.

661
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,359
Speaker 2: Boy, do you mention I would I would never mention

662
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 2: that to you. I would it's your cat, it's your dog,

663
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 2: all right, exactly. I don't think you do anymore. All right,

664
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 2: that doesn't for another episode of Bachelor or Happy Hours

665
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 2: Golden Hour.

666
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 3: We've had so much fun.

667
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 2: Thank you to all our listeners for joining in and

668
00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 2: sending us such great questions.

669
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 3: We hope we have you today, Kathy.

670
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 1: We had so many questions today we didn't get to

671
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: talk about us. I mean, sometimes we got to talk

672
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 1: about what we're doing in life. So next time we're

673
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 1: going to squeeze that in. But I do want to

674
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 1: thank everybody for listening and make sure to follow us

675
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: at Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new episodes coming

676
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 1: out every week and you might hear us talk about

677
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: our own lives.

678
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 2: Really if we can out and get a chance. But

679
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 2: also we love getting your questions. We love answering them.

680
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 2: You know, Susan, you and I have talked about this.

681
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:30,880
Speaker 2: People have stopped us on the street. I had someone

682
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 2: on the airplane stop me, believe it or not, that

683
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 2: we'd answered their question and they said, you really haven't

684
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,320
Speaker 2: been awesome. I loved it. So keep those questions coming.

685
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 2: All you have to do is go to bachelornation dot

686
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 2: com slash Golden Hour, or you can hit us up

687
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 2: on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.

688
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 3: We really want to hear from you.

689
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: Absolutely, listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the

690
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. Thanks

691
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 1: for tuning in to out for now, See you next time.

692
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 2: Mm hmm