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Speaker 1: I did it. My apologies Beloved and Carla, two supporters

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Speaker 1: all for supporting me, and until next time later. Welcome

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Speaker 1: you are now listening to the professional h Hey guys,

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Speaker 1: welcome to this week's episode of the PhD Podcast. It's

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Speaker 1: your girl, eban A and like always, I am super

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Speaker 1: all to support the kids. So hold me down. Don't

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Speaker 1: hold me up, niggas, those that's been sliding in my

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Speaker 1: d m open up that wallet and show me some

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Speaker 1: love and support me. Um. The link will also be

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Speaker 1: available in the show notes. So please keep in mind

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Speaker 1: that all of my guests are ANON on us. So

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Speaker 1: let's begin this week's episode. So to my guests, how

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Speaker 1: are you feeling. I'm good? Thank you. So I want

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Speaker 1: to say thank you so much for sharing your story

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Speaker 1: on the PhD podcast. Okay, this means a lot to

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Speaker 1: me since this is close to home, since your daughter

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Speaker 1: is like obsessed with me. So okay, sounds good. So

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Speaker 1: what was your childhood like? Ma? Um? It was good? Um?

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Speaker 1: How can I put it? Um? It was four of us. Um,

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Speaker 1: we had a really good time. We lived on the

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Speaker 1: West side of Chicago, shot shot down. Yeah. So um,

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Speaker 1: I mean we had a we had a really good childhood.

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Speaker 1: We really did. I'm just curious, So are you surprised

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Speaker 1: when everything that's going on with the current climate, with

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Speaker 1: the racism, Like, is there a big difference from when

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Speaker 1: you was growing up to where we at now? Yes,

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Speaker 1: because back then, Um, our family really kept for shelter,

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Speaker 1: so we didn't really know of all of the stuff

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Speaker 1: that was going on. So basically all of this is

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Speaker 1: really new for me because I, like I said, it's

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Speaker 1: like when Um King got killed, Um, when Malcolm X

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Speaker 1: got killed. I was a tiny top But like I said,

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Speaker 1: our family kept for shelter, so we we really didn't

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Speaker 1: I really didn't know. So how do you feel abouverything

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Speaker 1: in the police brutality? I don't like it. I don't

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Speaker 1: like it. They really need to do something about this.

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Speaker 1: And with George Floyd and all these others, it's a

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Speaker 1: whole lot that we haven't even heard of, you know.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's sad that he got killed, you know,

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Speaker 1: but it's bringing everything out in the open, so hopefully

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Speaker 1: it'll bring about some kind of change. And you're the

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Speaker 1: oldest out of four it right, Yes I am. So

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Speaker 1: what was what was your relationship like with your siblings

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Speaker 1: growing up? Good? Um, why are you looking like that, mom?

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Speaker 1: Because I mean I'm the oldest of them all, you know,

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Speaker 1: But um, um, let me. See, well, we lost our

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Speaker 1: mom when we were when I was toil, so I

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Speaker 1: really had to be the mom too everybody, you know.

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Speaker 1: But I mean we had a lot, a lot of

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Speaker 1: what like, was it a lot for you? Um? Yes,

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Speaker 1: it was. It was because oh, how can I put it? Um?

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Speaker 1: How can I put it? When we lost our mother?

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Speaker 1: I was twelve, And let me put it to you

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Speaker 1: this way. Our father killed our mother. Okay, And when

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Speaker 1: I found out that he did that, I found out

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Speaker 1: through my dad's brother. We found out from my dad's brother. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And m oh. It was just a traumatic thing for us,

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Speaker 1: it really was. But how was your parents relationship before

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Speaker 1: everything happened? It was good, but I think they were

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Speaker 1: on the verge of separating. If I'm not mistaken, I

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Speaker 1: think they were. Your mom was young, she was in

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Speaker 1: the twenties, right, and your dad was older. He was

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Speaker 1: I guess he was in his thirties. I'm guessing maybe

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Speaker 1: thirty five, thirty six, thirty seven, something like that. So

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Speaker 1: how was your relationship like with your mom? Oh? It

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Speaker 1: was good, it was good. It was. It was real

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Speaker 1: good because we went everywhere. We went to the fifty

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Speaker 1: seven street beach. Uh, the kids upstairs on the second

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Speaker 1: floor went with us. She just she just took us everywhere.

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Speaker 1: She just took us everywhere. So we had a really

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Speaker 1: good time. What about your relationship with your father. It

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Speaker 1: was good, it was good. I just didn't like the

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Speaker 1: way he treated my two brothers and my sister. It

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Speaker 1: was like, um, he treated you differently, Yeah, because it

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Speaker 1: was like I was the oldest and I couldn't do

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Speaker 1: no wrong. And uh, my brother he put him out

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Speaker 1: when he was in high school. My sister left. Then

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Speaker 1: my youngest brother, Um, he put him in Um, he

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Speaker 1: put him in the hospital because he thought that he

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Speaker 1: had mental issues. But my father and I still said

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Speaker 1: to this day, even though he's gone, I still said,

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Speaker 1: he has a lot to do with everything that's happened

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Speaker 1: to my brothers and my sisters. And that's why I'm

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Speaker 1: basically the one to make sure that everybody is taken

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Speaker 1: care of. Yeah, but I have a question about that,

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Speaker 1: but that's later on downline. So when was you first

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Speaker 1: exposed to abuse abuse like physical abuse? Oh? Um, when

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Speaker 1: I got married when I was twenty two. Also, you

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Speaker 1: didn't see it while he was growing up. Uh, No,

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Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't. If I did. I don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't remember. I don't remember. So what were the events

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Speaker 1: that led up to your mom being killed by your father?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. To be honest with you, I really don't know,

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Speaker 1: because I know both of them. Did she We did

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Speaker 1: see that where, um, somebody was in my mom's room

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Speaker 1: when my dad was gone. Yeah, we saw the person

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Speaker 1: come out of the room. We don't know who the

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Speaker 1: hell was, but somebody came out of that room. Okay,

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Speaker 1: and what ten or eleven? You know, but they were

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Speaker 1: both doing something. But I think she wanted the divorce

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Speaker 1: and I think that's what transpired him killing her because, um,

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Speaker 1: she was gonna take everything, you know, with the ladies

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Speaker 1: and stuff and everything. Yeah, and he didn't. He didn't

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Speaker 1: want that because he didn't want to have to pay

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Speaker 1: this or pay that from my understanding from what I heard,

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Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, So did you your sibilants understand what

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Speaker 1: was going on at the time? No? Yeah, I mean, hell,

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Speaker 1: we were what I mean, levin twelve, I was twelve,

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Speaker 1: my sister was eleven, Marlon was nine, and my baby

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Speaker 1: brother was uh what three? Then y'all all found that

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Speaker 1: at the same time the uncle told you I would

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Speaker 1: say yes, I would say yes, m M. Yeah, how

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Speaker 1: did they take it? Um, they took it, I guess, okay,

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Speaker 1: but I really believe that what transpired with them with

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Speaker 1: the mental illness had a lot to do. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but that was passing, um that m hm. Oh. My

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Speaker 1: my sister was afraid of my dad because she looks

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Speaker 1: so much like my mother, okay, and she thought that

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Speaker 1: he was gonna hurt her mm hmm. So um yeah,

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Speaker 1: what about your brothers? Um that is scary m hm um.

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Speaker 1: With my brother, I don't I don't really know. The

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Speaker 1: only thing that I can think of is that my

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Speaker 1: dad thought that my oldest brother wasn't his, But in

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Speaker 1: essence he is. My younger brother is not my dad's,

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Speaker 1: it's somebody else's. So that got a lot to do

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Speaker 1: with it too, you know. So, so would this be

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Speaker 1: considered like a crime of passion? M M. I would guess.

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Speaker 1: I don't guess. M. So what ways is your mom

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Speaker 1: transition affect you? Mm hmm. I still miss her to

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Speaker 1: this day. I always miss her. But at I couldn't

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Speaker 1: go to school for about two or three weeks. They

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Speaker 1: kept me out of school. Everybody else went, but I didn't.

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Speaker 1: Why because I just couldn't get myself together because I

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Speaker 1: wanted my mother. I wanted my mother, so I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: I just couldn't go. Did anybody else know about it,

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Speaker 1: like the neighborhood, other family members, No, But I truly

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Speaker 1: believe I really wish that the family would have gotten

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Speaker 1: some help for us to transition. You know, we didn't

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Speaker 1: get any kind of psychological help behind all of this.

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Speaker 1: All we're going by is what somebody said here, somebody

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Speaker 1: said that or whatever. We really did get any professional

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Speaker 1: health and I truly believe if we did, I would

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Speaker 1: not be in a position where I'm taking care of

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Speaker 1: your siblings. My brother fan, he's in another state. Okay

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Speaker 1: that he's fan, but you know, we keep in contact

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Speaker 1: and stuff. But my youngest brother and my my sister,

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Speaker 1: you know, I have to do what I have to

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Speaker 1: do with them, and I will continue to do that

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Speaker 1: until I can't do it anymore. Do you ever talk

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Speaker 1: about it? Mm hmm. I don't really think it should

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Speaker 1: be because I don't want anything to kick off with

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Speaker 1: my sister, or I don't want anything to kick off

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Speaker 1: with Phil. So what's with your sister? She is um

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Speaker 1: bi polar and my youngest brother is um schizophrenic. Mm hmm. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So do you think because I know, back in the day,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people didn't believe in mental health. So

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Speaker 1: do you think that y'all would have been able to

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Speaker 1: get the resources that y'all need? I don't know, But

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Speaker 1: from my understanding, we had a uncle who I never knew,

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Speaker 1: who shot itself and he had mental problems, so it

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Speaker 1: could have stemmed from that on my dad side, So

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Speaker 1: I don't know. M I don't know. So did your

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Speaker 1: father ever admit to it? Like, did he tell y'all? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he told us. He told us wrongs was in high

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Speaker 1: school and then he says, I'm gonna tell you this

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Speaker 1: once and I'm not gonna tell you again. And we

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Speaker 1: never asked them again. We never asked him again. But

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Speaker 1: I really hated him for what he did. I really

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Speaker 1: hated him for what he did to our mother. I

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Speaker 1: really really did it. Where was her parents at where

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Speaker 1: her mother passed when she was born, So her mother's

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Speaker 1: just her mother's sister raised her, so it was like

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Speaker 1: her aunt and it was like our I guess our

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Speaker 1: grand aunt. Yeah, so it was her aunt who raised her.

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Speaker 1: So how do you avoid your time. Our family had money,

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Speaker 1: from what I understood, but we didn't see him. Okay,

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Speaker 1: she she got killed in January, February March April. We

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Speaker 1: didn't see him for about five or six months. So

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Speaker 1: where he was I have no idea. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if he was at uh the jail at California, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. But all I know is when he came home,

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Speaker 1: we were next door, all four of us was next door,

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Speaker 1: and my grandmother had knocked on the door, and all

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Speaker 1: we saw was our father, and we was happy to

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Speaker 1: see him, you know, but I mean we were kids.

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Speaker 1: We were kids, so yeah, we was happy to saying.

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Speaker 1: But now we didn't see him for like five or

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Speaker 1: six months. So he got off, he got Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's crazy, right, He didn't spend that. I don't think

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Speaker 1: he spent no time and and jail, like I said,

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Speaker 1: If he did, I don't know, you know, because I

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Speaker 1: was a little kid. But I do remember this. I

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Speaker 1: do remember this when I was um maybe twelve or thirteen.

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Speaker 1: And it's gonna be funny, but after a while, I

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Speaker 1: remember this because I had to go to California for

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Speaker 1: um uh a traffic ticket, some kind of cord or

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Speaker 1: something like that. I don't forget it was, but I

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Speaker 1: was grown, but I do remember this. My dad took us,

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Speaker 1: or took me and my sister. We were in the

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Speaker 1: car and he told us to sit in the car,

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Speaker 1: which we did, and he bought us some not McDonald's

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Speaker 1: White Castle Hamburgers, and we ate the White Castle Hamburgers.

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Speaker 1: But he says sit in the car. And I didn't

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Speaker 1: know where we were. I really didn't know where we were.

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Speaker 1: We were at twenty in California. So I'm assuming back

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Speaker 1: then he was going to court, I guess to get

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Speaker 1: all that stuff together, you know what I'm saying. So

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Speaker 1: that's why he got us the food to keep us

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Speaker 1: kind of busy or whatever. But then after he came out,

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Speaker 1: I got sick because I'm eating the hamburgers. But then

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Speaker 1: years later, after I was grown and I'm driving, I'm

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Speaker 1: on my own, and like I said, I had to

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Speaker 1: go to col and I had a flashback because it

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Speaker 1: was the fence right here, because I remember where he parked,

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Speaker 1: and it just hit me so fast. It's like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: this motherfucker took us to the right, and that's why

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Speaker 1: he got us the hamburgers to keep us quiet and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that. Because we were sitting in the car,

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Speaker 1: how said, ain't this a bit? I mean, it just

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Speaker 1: hit me just like that. So how was your relationship?

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Speaker 1: How was your relationship afterwards? Once he came back, Um,

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Speaker 1: it was it was good. It was it was good.

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Speaker 1: It was good because he he bought a house for us. Um,

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Speaker 1: my sister and I went to the same high school.

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Speaker 1: My brother went to another high school, and my little

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Speaker 1: brother was already in in grammar school, you know. So, Um,

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Speaker 1: it was good. We were doing our thing. One week.

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Speaker 1: I would clean the dishes and do the food. My

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Speaker 1: sister would do the lindry, and we were both rotate

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Speaker 1: and cleaning up and stuff like that. So we would,

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Speaker 1: you know, take weeks on. But it was cool and

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Speaker 1: nobody ever mentioned mm hmm if so, I don't remember.

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Speaker 1: M M, I don't remember. Do you view men differently

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Speaker 1: because your father? Mm hmmm, mm hmm, No, I don't

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Speaker 1: mm hmm. Do you think that things that you witnessing

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Speaker 1: your parents relationships showed up in your previous relationships? Uh,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. Seeing your rear flax. Um, No,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. Mm hmmm, I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: She's looking at her daughter, which is my friend. I

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Speaker 1: have a confirmation. Do you think your father ever regretted

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Speaker 1: what he did? Mm hmm, that's a hard question. She

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Speaker 1: just shook her head. No, I know, I don't think so,

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Speaker 1: because I mean, he just lived his life. Yeah, how

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Speaker 1: is that possible to he just lived his life. But

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Speaker 1: what piss me off is when um my sister left

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Speaker 1: the house and she wanted to come back because she

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Speaker 1: didn't have no place to go. He wouldn't let her

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Speaker 1: come back home. Why I don't know. And then when

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Speaker 1: he put my brother out, that pissed me the fuck off.

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Speaker 1: He didn't even let him come back home. And when Marlon, oh,

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Speaker 1: he wanted to come back. Um My, well, before she

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00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: had left, she was still at the house and he

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Speaker 1: had came home because he was hungry. He needed money

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Speaker 1: and stuff, and she let him in. She fed him,

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Speaker 1: she gave him some money. And I found this out

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Speaker 1: from my sister that after my dad came home from work,

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Speaker 1: he had told him you better get out this house

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Speaker 1: for something happened and given m up like that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And he went upstairs and he got a gun and

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Speaker 1: he said, I told you to get out the house.

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Speaker 1: And my sister said, I think he'd better get out

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Speaker 1: the house because he was gonna she was gonna shoot him.

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Speaker 1: He was going to shoot my brother. Mm hmm, yes, yeah,

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00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: you think it's nothing. If everything that happened didn't happen,

303
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 1: youbils will be different. Oh yeah, yeah yeah. Um my

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00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 1: sister would not be I don't think in the position

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Speaker 1: that she's doing with the mental illness. My brother the

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Speaker 1: same way. Um My other brother did go through some things,

307
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Speaker 1: but he's he's okay. He's still got his issues and

308
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 1: stuff like that, but he's he's good. But um my family,

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Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna be the one that really

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Speaker 1: was gonna have the deep issues because of all the

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00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 1: trauma that was coming towards me, you know, doing this,

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Speaker 1: doing that, doing that, just pulling from left to right

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Speaker 1: and taking care of everybody. So so how did you

314
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: stay saying I have no idea, I have no idea,

315
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:13,159
Speaker 1: But um I did have my moments where you know,

316
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: I cried and stuff like that, and that was probably

317
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 1: my release, you know and crying. But I have no idea.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. All. Like I said, it's just a

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Speaker 1: grace of God that just kept me going all right.

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Speaker 1: That's the only thing that I can say. How did

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Speaker 1: you learn how to forgive your father for what he did?

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Speaker 1: Did you really forgive him? Mm hmm uh. Even on

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Speaker 1: his deathbead, I still didn't forget him. I mean I

324
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 1: cried when he when he passed away and stuff, you know,

325
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: went to visit them, drove two Vegan's. But I really didn't.

326
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 1: I really didn't because I missed my mother. I missed

327
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: my mother. You know, all right, don't make me cry.

328
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: That's sad, have no idea. I'm sorry I do that.

329
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:40,360
Speaker 1: It's okay now, it's sad. But I missed my mother

330
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: and I still wish she was here today. M hmm.

331
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was gonna through me. So I

332
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: didn't think I was gonna do that because I lost

333
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 1: my mother when I was toiled. I never got a

334
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,880
Speaker 1: chance to see that one with her m And that's

335
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: why I said, I'm gonna be here. I have to.

336
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 1: I have to be here. So I'm sorry, you got Michael.

337
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: Sorry day after this brother, my child. I love my

338
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,399
Speaker 1: child to death and I'd do anything for her, and

339
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 1: she knows it. And and that's why that's what I missed.

340
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 1: That's what I missed with my mom. I didn't get

341
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 1: a chance to that with her. I didn't get a

342
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: chance to have that with her. I had it with

343
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 1: um Monty Mary. She she was there, she was she

344
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 1: was always there for me. But I missed my mom.

345
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: I missed my mom. Yeah, I'm sixty six and I

346
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: missed my mom. And I just hate when I see

347
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:05,159
Speaker 1: people disrespecting their their parents, especially their mother. Where I

348
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 1: lost my mother at at twelve and up sixty six,

349
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,959
Speaker 1: and it still bothers me. But I still keep going on.

350
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 1: I still keep going on and forget me for crime,

351
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 1: but it's still it's still bothers me. It's still bothers me.

352
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: But I was never ever able to talked about this

353
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: until after, I would say, after my father passed, I

354
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: had no problem in you know, talking about it, you know.

355
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: But I didn't think this was gonna, you know, bring

356
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: me to tears. You know. I really didn't think so

357
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: I was going to bring it up like that. I'm good,

358
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 1: I'm good. When did you take any stuff to like

359
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: hell or do you think you're still in the process

360
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: of feeling or do you think you're ever helpfulness? No? Yeah, never.

361
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: The only where I'm gonna hell was when God called

362
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: me home and I see my mom. That's the only

363
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: way when he calls me home and I see my mother.

364
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: And I must see my mother on my death bed.

365
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: And I truly believe that, and she'll tell me you

366
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: did everything right, and I'm happy for you and thanks

367
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: for taking care of my kids. I truly believe that

368
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 1: with all my heart. And I know she's watching over

369
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: me and and everybody. M I truly believe that. Right.

370
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: Do you ever feel like it's a burden though, Like

371
00:29:54,520 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 1: you get tired? Like, I don't think it's a burden. Um,

372
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 1: I do get tired. I do get tired. Do you

373
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 1: go to when you have a moment like this, Um,

374
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: I don't really, I don't. Um. My My thing is

375
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: I like to walk, you know, so I just take

376
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 1: my walk, I have my headphone zone or I go

377
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: downstairs in the basement, and my child would see me,

378
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 1: you know, working out, and it's like, oh, you're doing this,

379
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: You're doing that. It's like yeah, you know, so you

380
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: know that's I guess that's my streuss reliever. But um,

381
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: just to have somebody to talk to, no outside of

382
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: my child, yeah, you know, but anybody else mm hmmm

383
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: mm hmm. Have you ever thought about doing therapy? Uh? No, no,

384
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: m humbly looked like that. Moe, No, I don't mean.

385
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: I mean, it's been fifty some ideas. If I ain't

386
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: been doing therapy, now what the hell I'm gonna do therapy.

387
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 1: But now this to me, I think this is therapy.

388
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 1: Well I'm gonna saying my bill wants to be done.

389
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: This is therapy. It's like I don't I don't really

390
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: need to go. I mean, if I felt that I

391
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: really needed to go, fine, but I don't want them

392
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: to have to put me on on medication. I don't

393
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: need no, you know what I'm saying. I don't need that.

394
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: My others, my sister and brother, Oh yeah, they need me.

395
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 1: They have kids. I'm just curious. Uh my youngest brother. No,

396
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: my sister, she has to she got two kids and

397
00:31:53,440 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: three grandchildren. Yeah yeah, the last one not least. Okay,

398
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: what if some advice you would give to our listeners

399
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: that experience a similar situation like yours, Um, always have

400
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: somebody that you can go to that maybe you can

401
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: trust and talk. You know, if you're not strong enough

402
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: to deal with it on your own, just have a

403
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 1: friend or un or uncle, somebody who you can who

404
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: you can go to that can really help you and

405
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 1: guide you do something that you you need help with.

406
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: L Like you found that, um in your relationships mm

407
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 1: hmm yeah. Um, my daughter's father, like this may my

408
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: best friend and I'm missing him totally. I'm miss him

409
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: to Yeah, I miss him too. What's one thing your

410
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: mother Patt gave to you that you give to your daughter,

411
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 1: like one thing she always taught you? Mm hmm. I

412
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 1: can't say because I was so young, I don't really

413
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 1: remember any of that, so I can't really say. I

414
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:33,479
Speaker 1: think everything that I've done with my daughter, it was

415
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: justin still with me is being a mom, you know.

416
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: So um all I know she was just loving to us.

417
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 1: That she was she was loving to us, you know.

418
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 1: And um, and that's all. I get back to my job. Well, mom,

419
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the listeners any

420
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 1: more advice? No, not really, but it's it's been a

421
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 1: joy and a pleasure and I know I'm happy. Yeah,

422
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: just still good. Yeah, I think it was really good.

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Speaker 1: I may make somebody cry whatever, I know, I have

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Speaker 1: a fresh up trying to see my boot after this. Well,

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Speaker 1: If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, email me

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Speaker 1: at hello at the PhD podcast dot com and from

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Speaker 1: shot Town Legend. You know. That's it. Thank you very much,

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Speaker 1: it's been a pleasure. Ohright, gosh, thank thank you. Later