WEBVTT - Two Jersey Js: Make Me a Match 0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:06.640 Hi, guys, Welcome back to Two Jersey Jays. I'm Jen Fessler, 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:10.520 I'm Jackie Goldschneider. We're very excited about today's episode. 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:13.640 Yes, and it's so funny. I love. Even though I've 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.119 been on reality TV for six years, I still there's 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:20.240 certain TV personalities who I've never met that I am 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:23.120 just so excited to talk to. Today is one of them. 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:25.720 I feel the same way today we have the iconic 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:27.960 Patti Stanger on the show. 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:30.120 Did you used to watch a Millionaire? Oh my god? 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:33.760 I mean seriously, like, I feel the same way even listen, 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:37.320 I even get like that meeting Housewives, still like, oh 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:40.360 my god, I'm standing just in the presence of greatness 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:42.800 and Patti Stanger like she was way before any of this. 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:45.360 Yes, right, yeah, that show is definitely I mean I 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:48.640 think that OC was probably on already and I think 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.120 so right years was I'm like blinking, you know, the 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:53.760 years go by? Yeah, you know it's a quote. I 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:55.880 know it's a quote, Remashal, you know, the years to 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:59.680 keep coming in, they don't stop coming. But yeah, I 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:02.640 love of the Millionaire. Matchmaker was obsessed. It was a 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:04.759 different premise that so she has this new show out 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:08.880 now and it's same idea, but it is not millionaire 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:12.240 Matchmaker anymore, right, So it's not women who want to 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:16.480 meet their millionaire husband. So I don't know could you 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:18.720 even get away with that these days? I don't know, 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.280 you know, like a millionaire kind of thing, well, like 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.000 just a show that's based on a woman meeting a millionaire. 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:28.680 It was all right, I just were some women millionaires. 0:01:28.720 --> 0:01:30.800 But you know, I don't know that you could get 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:32.920 away with the old show that she used to film 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.240 because there were there was a lot you know, we're 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:38.560 a lot more PC now. Cancel culture is really a 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.680 thing right now, Yes it is. And I don't know 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:43.360 that you could get away with, you know, concentrating on 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:45.520 a woman's looks and telling her she I mean, there 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:50.000 was this one incident I remember where Patty was telling 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:53.160 a woman, you know, certain things about her appearance that 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:56.000 wouldn't fly if she wanted to, you know, be successful 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:58.200 with a millionaire. And I don't know that you could 0:01:58.200 --> 0:01:58.880 do that now. 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:01.960 Right, You probably couldn't. I was I worked for and 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:04.840 was very very close friends with these women, and I 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:06.560 we want to have them on. Actually, Jack, we've spoken 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:08.160 about it, who wrote that book The Rules. 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:10.320 Oh yeah, I remember that. I remember that book. 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:11.880 So for you guys, I don't know if you guys 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:14.680 have ever heard of it, but there was a book about, really, 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:18.320 you know, how to find a man and get married 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:24.120 and so really it was a huge topic of conversation 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:24.840 back in the day. 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:25.880 I'm thinking it was. 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:31.440 The late nineties, right like mid nineties anyway. So the 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:34.640 idea was that there are some rules that you have 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.080 to follow if you want to not only get married, 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:39.280 but have a successful marriage, and they lay it out 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:41.920 rule by rule. They've written several books now, Ellen Fine 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.679 and Cherry Schneider, but I believe in a lot of 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:46.880 what that book has to say, And even though it 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:52.000 sounds so archaic now, I think Patty probably also subscribes 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.800 to the same philosophies. There's a lot in it that 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:58.040 talks about like not accepting a date after a certain 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:01.880 point in the week, like don't be that last minute girl, right, 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:04.720 And it's so it was a lot of it was 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.600 very controversial because it was some people thought it was 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:10.880 anti feminist. Some people thought it was actually a great, 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:13.960 you know, example of how a woman can really take 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:15.919 care of herself when it comes to dealing with men 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:19.320 and anyway. So it's just interesting because it also gives 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:22.440 out appearance advice and it talks about you know, lots 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:26.240 of scia. But you know, the sad truth is that 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:28.920 you have to be physically attracted to somebody in order 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:32.640 for the You don't have to be but physical without 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:36.040 physical attraction, I don't feel like there's that spark. 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:37.040 I don't know. 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:38.840 I don't know if I believe that anymore. I mean, 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:41.280 I I know that like I see it. Also, like 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:44.600 even with my daughter, you know, she'll meet a kid, 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.160 a guy, a boy, whatever, a man. I can't imagine 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:48.920 that it's a man because she's twenty one, but okay, 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:52.320 we'll say man, and you know what, I'm not into him. 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:52.760 I don't know. 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:54.800 I just I don't know. I just I got the ick. 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:57.000 She'll see him again, she'll be like, I don't know 0:03:57.000 --> 0:03:59.600 if he's so, he's funny. I kind of like him, 0:03:59.840 --> 0:04:01.160 And the next time I talked to her. 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:01.560 I'm in love. 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:03.440 I'm in love. I met my husband. Like, I think 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:05.360 that stuff can develop. I think it's very hard in 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:08.280 this age of social media to actually give people that 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:11.120 chance right to get past appearance. 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:14.000 Yeah, I don't know because I just fell so deeply 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:16.359 for Evan Goldschneider when I laid eyes on him, So 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:19.440 I don't know. I can't talk to him everyone. You know, 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:22.520 if people don't know about Jen Fessler is that before 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:25.599 she was on the Housewives, she was a matchmaker. 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:28.000 I wouldn't say like before I was on the Housewives 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:30.160 because it was about a million years ago, and it 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:32.360 was I guess it's like a maybe three years out 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:35.680 of my life and my twenties, I had god so 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.440 many different jobs. But anyway, yes, for a few years, 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:41.600 I was a matchmaker for this company called It's Just Lunch. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:44.600 And the premise of base Just Lunch is that you 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:49.039 set up singles professionals on either lunch dates or drink 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.880 dates because no one has time, you know, for a 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:54.840 date date, so these are just sort of quick, you know, 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:58.280 meet and greet and have a coffee or have lunch. Anyway, 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:00.799 that's how I met Jeff Fessler as a matter of fact. 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:02.760 So oh he was a client. 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:05.159 He was a client, well, he had been a client 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:08.160 and his membership expired and I was trying to get 0:05:08.160 --> 0:05:10.560 members to come back in and I'm the new director 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:13.440 called him up He's like, it wasn't really successful for me, 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.320 and I said, well, you haven't met me or whatever, 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:18.880 you know, like sales pitch, And because Jeff Fessler can't 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.080 really say no, if you just beat him down enough, 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:22.000 he ended up showing up. 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:25.760 And that was that. It's funny because I used it's 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:28.159 just lunch during the years that you were working there, 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:31.320 and I can't find any of the email correspondents. It 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:33.279 did not work out for me. I only had one 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.560 go around with them, but they set me up on 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:40.240 three dates that were all bummers. But I know that 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.000 it does work for some people, so I'm not like 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.440 disparages the company. It's a very hard thing to be 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:46.400 a matchmaker. But I talked really habdy about it. I 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:50.320 wish I could find those emails because how funny if 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:53.039 you were the person, because I remember the woman that 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:54.720 I spoke to told me she met her husband there. 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:56.320 But you probably know you, Jeff no Early. 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:58.080 I don't think that was not the way it was 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:00.760 supposed to happen anyway, But I was not supposed to 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.360 be dating if I tell But I found like, as 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:05.919 a matchmaker, you know it, maybe you can get it 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:07.719 right in terms of like Okay, somebody says, I like 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.680 Brunette's great. He has to be tall, fabulous. I want 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:13.719 a professional great, but you can't. And Patty maybe ken 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.719 so interested in this but predict chemistry, you know, it's 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:20.360 like it's a very hard thing. Like I think that's 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:22.240 something that you have to be face to face. 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:22.720 Does it work? 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.880 It may make sense on paper, but how does she 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:29.120 actually how did she figure out? Like who's going to spark? 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.520 Yeah? Well, well I never really used dating apps except 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:35.599 for JD. I don't know what any of the difference 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:37.760 between any of the ones that maybe you do because 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:39.760 you have a twenty one year old daughter. I don't 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.919 know the difference between hinge bumble. 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:44.520 Bumbles, the bad one bumbles, the hook up one. I 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:46.880 think I don't call me, don't hold me. Oh maybe 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:47.320 that's Tinder. 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:52.200 That's Tinder. Sorry, I don't know direction. I have no 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.320 idea what any of this stuff, and I don't want 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:57.880 to know real different that we don't need bagel meats 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:00.600 coffee Like there's coffee, yes I ever heard of I 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.560 think I'm mixing up the name. But it's something like that. 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.720 It's like you meet for breakfast or something. There are 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:07.560 so many. 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:09.920 Listen and this is for our different podcast maybe, but 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:12.880 it's I think it's just so sad because people don't 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:14.600 meet each other and these kids don't get out and 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:17.200 they don't learn to interact and meet each other at bars. 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:19.680 And you know, I have a whole philosophy about that. 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:20.640 That's for another episode. 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:22.320 Yeah, I just say, asked seven the other day if 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:23.640 the population is dropping? 0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:23.920 Yea. 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:26.400 He first of all, Evan is a freaking encyclopedia of 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:29.080 every random fact you would ever want to know. But 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:31.040 I asked him if the population is dropping because we 0:07:31.040 --> 0:07:32.760 were watching the show and they were just all of 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.440 these and there's nothing wrong with being a childless woman 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:38.080 in your forties, but there was just like a slew 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:40.280 of childless women in their forties that were just very 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:43.680 driven on their careers and like not interested in settling 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:45.840 down and having kids at least that's what they said. 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:49.520 And it made me wonder, like, are we, like, is 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.240 the population get a job? And he said, it's not 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:54.400 that we're dropping yet, but like the birth rate is dropping, 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:56.360 so population trow will come. Yeah. 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:58.320 But there's also that guy, Scott Galloway. I don't you 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:01.320 ever heard of him? So he's a perser. I'm going 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:03.520 to screw it up at an ivy league, I believe. 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:07.080 But anyway, he talks about young men and the loneliness 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:11.360 that they're experiencing because everybody is meeting people strictly on 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:13.760 their phones. And these guys, these kids, you know, they 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:16.720 put up their profile and if they're not like in 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:20.600 the seventy fifth percentile in terms of like attractiveness, the 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:22.840 women just swipe by or they can't. They don't get 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:25.720 clicks everybody's and so then their self esteem becomes affected 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:28.520 and they're in their parents' home and they don't feel 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:33.000 good about themselves. And I mean, he gets very deep 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:36.200 and detailed about it, and it's very very scary about 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:41.680 this generation of boys who they don't learn to get rejected, 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:46.240 have heartbreak, have a relationship, you know, it ends. They 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:50.040 just get sort of sadder, more and more sad, and 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:52.839 their self esteem plummets because they're on their phone getting 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:53.480 swiped over. 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:55.920 Well, I can imagine that that happens to girls too. 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:59.280 He focuses more on the boys amenity easier, he says, 0:08:59.320 --> 0:08:59.959 for girls don't. 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:04.400 Well, I think I strongly believe in matchmaking. Yeah, I do. 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:07.920 I think that a personal recommendation to somebody you know 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:12.040 is like priceless. I do it all the time. Oh 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:14.679 my god. I love saying you ever set people up successfully? 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:14.960 I have? 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:18.120 Actually yeah, yeah, well I did it professionally, so yes. 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:19.960 But I've also done it. I always try to do 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:23.079 it in my personal life, like I'm always looking. It's 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:24.800 harder for me for some reason, maybe because a woman, 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:25.839 I have more female friends. 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:27.880 Yeah, I have a lot more female friends, right, and 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:30.840 I don't even know any single men. When I do. 0:09:31.600 --> 0:09:33.319 As soon as I meet a single guy, like around 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:36.080 our age, my head starts to race. I'm like whipping 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:38.360 through the roll decks of my mind and thinking, you know, 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:40.719 who could this person work for? I A Wloulds say 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:43.200 to Jeff, like, you know, you're not paying attention. There's 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:45.520 no one in the firm, no one who He's like, 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.640 I'm you know, working, I have things going on in 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:51.679 my day. I'm not recruiting single lawyers. But yeah, I 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:52.679 love setting people up. 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:55.920 Yeah, you know, I just don't know how I would, 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:58.360 like God forbid anything ever happened in my marriage, Like, 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:00.920 I don't even know where I would begin. I don't 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:03.520 even know that I would know how to date anybody. 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:05.400 I don't know if i'd want if i'd want to, 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:07.000 but I think that I would do it way better 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:10.800 than when I was an insecure twenty something like I 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:15.160 feel like the trick for me and this is what 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.200 I did used to tell people, friends and clients, but 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:20.680 is to not go into every situation like this could 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.079 be the one. Assume it's not the one. Right, you're 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.240 going out you're going to meet someone. I would never 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:28.120 do a dinner. I would only do a coffee now 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:30.480 because who wants to commit that kind of time? But 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:34.959 like go in thinking this person hopefully will become a 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.360 friend of mine, and if there's no spark, maybe this 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:40.720 person's best friend I will meet, or maybe this person 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:43.000 has someone that they think they're not digging me, but 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:46.640 they know someone, or like just going in it just 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:48.480 and if it's not friends, you're just going in to 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:52.600 meet somebody, just shoot the shit. Why not take out 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:56.480 you know, twenty minutes and like not it's take all 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:59.080 the intensity off of it, right, Like it doesn't have 0:10:59.120 --> 0:10:59.800 to be your husband. 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.319 I believe in soulmates. 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:05.840 No, not really, no, I believe in people that you 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:09.760 love that you feel you can't imagine life without that 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.280 feel like they're part of you, but soulmates. Know, I 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:15.839 think there's I think you could love lots and lots 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:16.800 and lots and lots of people. 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.880 Yeah, you know, I feel like I should say no 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:23.760 to that, But then when I picture Evan, I can't 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:29.600 imagine not like being married to anybody else or sharing 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.760 my life with anybody else. I don't think there's anybody 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:35.160 else that could understand me, or that I could tolerate. 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:38.000 Not only tolerate, but I like, I love being around him. 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:40.560 I can't get enough of him, And I don't know 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.120 that there's anyone else that I can ever feel that way. 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:46.880 You're very blessed. I feel very blessed to be in 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:51.920 the marriage that I'm in. But realistically, I mean, I 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:54.080 love Evan to death. I agree he's unique, but like 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:55.600 it would have been someone else. 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:58.320 Yeah, I don't know, I dated, you know, I just 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:02.440 I don't know. Well, Luckily, I hopefully I will never 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:04.160 have to know. Yes, but I do have a lot 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:08.040 of questions for Patty, and I'm excited so her new. 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:13.360 Show, Matchmaker, The Matchmaker, Yes, all right? 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.000 Is what what is it? It's on the CW. It 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:19.160 airs Thursdays at eight PM on the CW and streams 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:23.640 Fridays on the CW APP. I do enjoy people falling 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:24.040 in love. 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.840 I love that too. I mean, I'm very much into 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:30.560 the Bachelor and The Batcher. I can't I can't watch 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:33.880 every season at some point, but those relationships never end 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:36.360 up working out, right, watching people fall for each other? 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:37.800 Yeah, but is that for real? 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:41.679 Royal is actually I think he's just got married, but 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:45.199 he's he was joining our Yeah, he was, grade. 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:47.240 He was. He did a bunch of seasons. I think 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:49.079 at one point he was on the Bachelorette. I think 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:52.040 he was the Bachelor. Yeah, they worked together two and 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:54.880 he ended up marrying somebody that he did not meet 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:58.360 from the show. I believe correct. I don't know. Yeah, 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.760 we could ask Patty. I know he's a pod but 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:05.160 I know he's very fantastic podcasts and very cute. I 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:08.000 just feel like there are so many more single women 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.640 than there are single men. I don't know. 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:12.280 We have to ask her if that's still the case. 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.880 And that was always right, that really shitty thing people 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:16.520 used to say, like, if you there, you have a 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:19.800 better chance of getting hitting hit by lightning than be 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.880 getting married. After women, this is for women getting married 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:24.080 after forty five, like something. 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:26.080 Just well, I know that Alaska is like the worst 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:27.640 place for a woman to be a man. Do you 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:31.360 know about that? There's like ten women for every one man. 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:33.680 If you're a single guy, they say, like that's the 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:35.960 place to be. Wow. Yeah, I have to see the 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:38.480 stats on that, But it's something crazy like that. 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.240 Why would more women want to be in Alaska? I 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:43.320 wonder it's like the last I want to visit. I 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.880 very much want to visit, but to live in Alaska 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:48.000 it's a little cold, sunny. I can't take New Jersey. 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:50.959 I'm like just thinking there. I can't take New Jersey, 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:53.000 counting off the years to get my place in Florida 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:55.679 other reasons. Yeah, well right, but let's not even go 0:13:55.720 --> 0:14:02.840 there today. 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.679 So are you kind of like living vicariously through your 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:11.239 kids dating right now? Do they give you any feedback? 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:12.760 Are you allowed to ask questions? 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:12.960 No? 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.440 I'm definitely not living vicariously through them. The last thing 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:17.520 I'd want to do right now is date. No, not 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:22.120 like that what you're saying, Yell, you know, it's interesting. 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:26.360 My daughter gives me every single detail, So ask me 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.920 anything about anybody that Rachel has. 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.960 That's so amazing. That means she trusts you, or maybe 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:32.720 it means I'm. 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:35.120 Dysfunctional and I've raised her to be codependent. And there 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:36.320 are a lot of different ways that you can. 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:37.600 Look at and then look at it the other way, 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:38.560 Like my therapist. 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:41.760 Would probably say, it's now becoming like inappropriate and so 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:45.520 and well. The other piece is that I also sort 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:47.560 of demand it. I just I when you pummel somebody 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.680 with questions, so whatever, maybe it's not so healthy, but 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:52.160 that's just the way it is. And then in terms 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:55.280 of my son, no, he is not interested in talking 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:57.000 to me, and it actually annoys me because I'm not 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:00.120 asking him crazy questions like I'm like, what was so, 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:01.520 how was your date Wednesday? And he'll give me this 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.320 look and I'm like, honey, I'm not asking you how 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:07.200 the sex was. I'm not asking you to like tell 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.840 me what happened when you whatever, I say something completely 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:12.760 inappropriate and he just gives me a dirty look. But 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:14.920 like I'm just saying, did you like her? 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:15.720 You know? 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.000 How did how did it go? But he really just 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:23.720 won't give up too much. But I try to also 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:28.440 advise my daughter, and because I did go through you know, 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:32.200 that whole world of dating and it can be very painful. Yeah, 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.720 so I definitely try to help to guide her, like 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.920 that whole phrase that came out how long ago sex 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:40.560 and sy like he just made he's just not that 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:44.360 into you. Like to learn that early if he doesn't 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.960 call you and you don't hear from him, or when 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:50.680 you do hear from him, he doesn't ask you questions 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:53.080 or like, he's just not that into you. 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:53.400 Yeah. 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:56.000 I had a guy tell me that he could take 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:58.080 me out on it, he could meet up with me 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:04.440 on a Thursday Wednesday, but that his weekends are too 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:08.200 valuable and are just like are you do you even 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:10.760 understand what you're saying. See back in the day, would 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:13.560 have been like, Okay, what time Wednesday? Yeah, that is 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:16.160 so I think that's probably what I said. I mean, 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:16.960 that would have been so me. 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:20.480 And that's why I don't want Rachel, you know, to 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:23.600 be like and but you have to live and learn that, right, 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.160 And it's very easy to get caught up when you 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:29.040 when your hormones are running wild and you meet somebody 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:30.880 and they're cute, and you want to convince yourself that 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:34.840 you know he is into you. And but I think 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:36.960 that guys and will again talk to the expert about it, 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.160 but just give off very clear signals. 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:43.000 Yeah, yeah, I think. Well, you know, nowadays everyone is 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.800 more open and more vulnerable. I feel like men can 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:49.760 share their feelings more these days. Yes, you know, it's 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:53.520 very interesting. I don't I've only seen my father cry twice, 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:57.240 and I've only seen Evan cry once. Wow, yeah, I 0:16:57.280 --> 0:17:01.000 haven't seen barely. Isn't that wild? I mean that's topic 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:03.280 for another time. But like, I just feel like men 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:07.520 nowadays are allowed to be more emotional. My son's cry. 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:10.600 They cry all the time, of course, but they're so 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.639 baby they should be able to. Well, you know, I 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:15.600 have two sixteen year olds, and I'm so glad that 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:18.200 they feel like it's okay for them to cry. 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.760 Not only about like you know things that like Mom 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:23.719 won't let me stay out tonight, you know, but like 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:26.359 real things. They get upset about something and they feel 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:28.840 okay crying, And I you know, I don't think that 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.040 was true two generations ago, or even one generation ago. 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:37.320 My kid is very sensitive. But if he even starts 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:39.320 to water up, like he's out of here, like he 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:42.840 does not want me to see him ever. Oh really, No, way. 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.200 My kids will use my shirt as their tissues will. 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:48.919 Well, Rachel will do that too, yeah, yeah, yeah. And 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.680 also I'd feel like it's so tricky for them right 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:56.000 now because for my not your my kid's age, everyone 0:17:56.080 --> 0:18:00.440 is thinking marriage. And when I say everyone, I don't 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.160 know about them as much. But like it's funny because 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:04.879 all my friends we all have kids around the same age. 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:07.320 So when one of the kids start dating someone, it's like, 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:11.240 oh my god, Okay, where is he from? What do 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:13.680 his parents do? Not what do his parents do? In 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:15.720 an anoxious way, but like tell me more about where 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:18.719 and where do they live, because you're thinking, well, my family, 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:20.480 I don't want I'm not going to fly across the 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:22.359 country to see the grandkids, like you. 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.320