Speaker 1: Hi, guys, Welcome back to Two Jersey Jays. I'm Jen Fessler,
Speaker 1: I'm Jackie Goldschneider. We're very excited about today's episode.
Speaker 2: Yes, and it's so funny. I love. Even though I've
Speaker 2: been on reality TV for six years, I still there's
Speaker 2: certain TV personalities who I've never met that I am
Speaker 2: just so excited to talk to. Today is one of them.
Speaker 1: I feel the same way today we have the iconic
Speaker 1: Patti Stanger on the show.
Speaker 2: Did you used to watch a Millionaire? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: I mean seriously, like, I feel the same way even listen,
Speaker 1: I even get like that meeting Housewives, still like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm standing just in the presence of greatness
Speaker 1: and Patti Stanger like she was way before any of this.
Speaker 2: Yes, right, yeah, that show is definitely I mean I
Speaker 2: think that OC was probably on already and I think
Speaker 2: so right years was I'm like blinking, you know, the
Speaker 2: years go by? Yeah, you know it's a quote. I
Speaker 2: know it's a quote, Remashal, you know, the years to
Speaker 2: keep coming in, they don't stop coming. But yeah, I
Speaker 2: love of the Millionaire. Matchmaker was obsessed. It was a
Speaker 2: different premise that so she has this new show out
Speaker 2: now and it's same idea, but it is not millionaire
Speaker 2: Matchmaker anymore, right, So it's not women who want to
Speaker 2: meet their millionaire husband. So I don't know could you
Speaker 2: even get away with that these days? I don't know,
Speaker 2: you know, like a millionaire kind of thing, well, like
Speaker 2: just a show that's based on a woman meeting a millionaire.
Speaker 2: It was all right, I just were some women millionaires.
Speaker 2: But you know, I don't know that you could get
Speaker 2: away with the old show that she used to film
Speaker 2: because there were there was a lot you know, we're
Speaker 2: a lot more PC now. Cancel culture is really a
Speaker 2: thing right now, Yes it is. And I don't know
Speaker 2: that you could get away with, you know, concentrating on
Speaker 2: a woman's looks and telling her she I mean, there
Speaker 2: was this one incident I remember where Patty was telling
Speaker 2: a woman, you know, certain things about her appearance that
Speaker 2: wouldn't fly if she wanted to, you know, be successful
Speaker 2: with a millionaire. And I don't know that you could
Speaker 2: do that now.
Speaker 1: Right, You probably couldn't. I was I worked for and
Speaker 1: was very very close friends with these women, and I
Speaker 1: we want to have them on. Actually, Jack, we've spoken
Speaker 1: about it, who wrote that book The Rules.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I remember that. I remember that book.
Speaker 1: So for you guys, I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: have ever heard of it, but there was a book about, really,
Speaker 1: you know, how to find a man and get married
Speaker 1: and so really it was a huge topic of conversation
Speaker 1: back in the day.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking it was.
Speaker 1: The late nineties, right like mid nineties anyway. So the
Speaker 1: idea was that there are some rules that you have
Speaker 1: to follow if you want to not only get married,
Speaker 1: but have a successful marriage, and they lay it out
Speaker 1: rule by rule. They've written several books now, Ellen Fine
Speaker 1: and Cherry Schneider, but I believe in a lot of
Speaker 1: what that book has to say, And even though it
Speaker 1: sounds so archaic now, I think Patty probably also subscribes
Speaker 1: to the same philosophies. There's a lot in it that
Speaker 1: talks about like not accepting a date after a certain
Speaker 1: point in the week, like don't be that last minute girl, right,
Speaker 1: And it's so it was a lot of it was
Speaker 1: very controversial because it was some people thought it was
Speaker 1: anti feminist. Some people thought it was actually a great,
Speaker 1: you know, example of how a woman can really take
Speaker 1: care of herself when it comes to dealing with men
Speaker 1: and anyway. So it's just interesting because it also gives
Speaker 1: out appearance advice and it talks about you know, lots
Speaker 1: of scia. But you know, the sad truth is that
Speaker 1: you have to be physically attracted to somebody in order
Speaker 1: for the You don't have to be but physical without
Speaker 1: physical attraction, I don't feel like there's that spark.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I believe that anymore. I mean,
Speaker 1: I I know that like I see it. Also, like
Speaker 1: even with my daughter, you know, she'll meet a kid,
Speaker 1: a guy, a boy, whatever, a man. I can't imagine
Speaker 1: that it's a man because she's twenty one, but okay,
Speaker 1: we'll say man, and you know what, I'm not into him.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just I don't know. I just I got the ick.
Speaker 1: She'll see him again, she'll be like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if he's so, he's funny. I kind of like him,
Speaker 1: And the next time I talked to her.
Speaker 2: I'm in love.
Speaker 1: I'm in love. I met my husband. Like, I think
Speaker 1: that stuff can develop. I think it's very hard in
Speaker 1: this age of social media to actually give people that
Speaker 1: chance right to get past appearance.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know because I just fell so deeply
Speaker 2: for Evan Goldschneider when I laid eyes on him, So
Speaker 2: I don't know. I can't talk to him everyone. You know,
Speaker 2: if people don't know about Jen Fessler is that before
Speaker 2: she was on the Housewives, she was a matchmaker.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say like before I was on the Housewives
Speaker 1: because it was about a million years ago, and it
Speaker 1: was I guess it's like a maybe three years out
Speaker 1: of my life and my twenties, I had god so
Speaker 1: many different jobs. But anyway, yes, for a few years,
Speaker 1: I was a matchmaker for this company called It's Just Lunch.
Speaker 1: And the premise of base Just Lunch is that you
Speaker 1: set up singles professionals on either lunch dates or drink
Speaker 1: dates because no one has time, you know, for a
Speaker 1: date date, so these are just sort of quick, you know,
Speaker 1: meet and greet and have a coffee or have lunch. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's how I met Jeff Fessler as a matter of fact.
Speaker 2: So oh he was a client.
Speaker 1: He was a client, well, he had been a client
Speaker 1: and his membership expired and I was trying to get
Speaker 1: members to come back in and I'm the new director
Speaker 1: called him up He's like, it wasn't really successful for me,
Speaker 1: and I said, well, you haven't met me or whatever,
Speaker 1: you know, like sales pitch, And because Jeff Fessler can't
Speaker 1: really say no, if you just beat him down enough,
Speaker 1: he ended up showing up.
Speaker 2: And that was that. It's funny because I used it's
Speaker 2: just lunch during the years that you were working there,
Speaker 2: and I can't find any of the email correspondents. It
Speaker 2: did not work out for me. I only had one
Speaker 2: go around with them, but they set me up on
Speaker 2: three dates that were all bummers. But I know that
Speaker 2: it does work for some people, so I'm not like
Speaker 2: disparages the company. It's a very hard thing to be
Speaker 2: a matchmaker. But I talked really habdy about it. I
Speaker 2: wish I could find those emails because how funny if
Speaker 2: you were the person, because I remember the woman that
Speaker 2: I spoke to told me she met her husband there.
Speaker 2: But you probably know you, Jeff no Early.
Speaker 1: I don't think that was not the way it was
Speaker 1: supposed to happen anyway, But I was not supposed to
Speaker 1: be dating if I tell But I found like, as
Speaker 1: a matchmaker, you know it, maybe you can get it
Speaker 1: right in terms of like Okay, somebody says, I like
Speaker 1: Brunette's great. He has to be tall, fabulous. I want
Speaker 1: a professional great, but you can't. And Patty maybe ken
Speaker 1: so interested in this but predict chemistry, you know, it's
Speaker 1: like it's a very hard thing. Like I think that's
Speaker 1: something that you have to be face to face.
Speaker 2: Does it work?
Speaker 1: It may make sense on paper, but how does she
Speaker 1: actually how did she figure out? Like who's going to spark?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, well I never really used dating apps except
Speaker 2: for JD. I don't know what any of the difference
Speaker 2: between any of the ones that maybe you do because
Speaker 2: you have a twenty one year old daughter. I don't
Speaker 2: know the difference between hinge bumble.
Speaker 1: Bumbles, the bad one bumbles, the hook up one. I
Speaker 1: think I don't call me, don't hold me. Oh maybe
Speaker 1: that's Tinder.
Speaker 2: That's Tinder. Sorry, I don't know direction. I have no
Speaker 2: idea what any of this stuff, and I don't want
Speaker 2: to know real different that we don't need bagel meats
Speaker 2: coffee Like there's coffee, yes I ever heard of I
Speaker 2: think I'm mixing up the name. But it's something like that.
Speaker 2: It's like you meet for breakfast or something. There are
Speaker 2: so many.
Speaker 1: Listen and this is for our different podcast maybe, but
Speaker 1: it's I think it's just so sad because people don't
Speaker 1: meet each other and these kids don't get out and
Speaker 1: they don't learn to interact and meet each other at bars.
Speaker 1: And you know, I have a whole philosophy about that.
Speaker 1: That's for another episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just say, asked seven the other day if
Speaker 2: the population is dropping?
Speaker 3: Yea.
Speaker 2: He first of all, Evan is a freaking encyclopedia of
Speaker 2: every random fact you would ever want to know. But
Speaker 2: I asked him if the population is dropping because we
Speaker 2: were watching the show and they were just all of
Speaker 2: these and there's nothing wrong with being a childless woman
Speaker 2: in your forties, but there was just like a slew
Speaker 2: of childless women in their forties that were just very
Speaker 2: driven on their careers and like not interested in settling
Speaker 2: down and having kids at least that's what they said.
Speaker 2: And it made me wonder, like, are we, like, is
Speaker 2: the population get a job? And he said, it's not
Speaker 2: that we're dropping yet, but like the birth rate is dropping,
Speaker 2: so population trow will come. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But there's also that guy, Scott Galloway. I don't you
Speaker 1: ever heard of him? So he's a perser. I'm going
Speaker 1: to screw it up at an ivy league, I believe.
Speaker 1: But anyway, he talks about young men and the loneliness
Speaker 1: that they're experiencing because everybody is meeting people strictly on
Speaker 1: their phones. And these guys, these kids, you know, they
Speaker 1: put up their profile and if they're not like in
Speaker 1: the seventy fifth percentile in terms of like attractiveness, the
Speaker 1: women just swipe by or they can't. They don't get
Speaker 1: clicks everybody's and so then their self esteem becomes affected
Speaker 1: and they're in their parents' home and they don't feel
Speaker 1: good about themselves. And I mean, he gets very deep
Speaker 1: and detailed about it, and it's very very scary about
Speaker 1: this generation of boys who they don't learn to get rejected,
Speaker 1: have heartbreak, have a relationship, you know, it ends. They
Speaker 1: just get sort of sadder, more and more sad, and
Speaker 1: their self esteem plummets because they're on their phone getting
Speaker 1: swiped over.
Speaker 2: Well, I can imagine that that happens to girls too.
Speaker 1: He focuses more on the boys amenity easier, he says,
Speaker 1: for girls don't.
Speaker 2: Well, I think I strongly believe in matchmaking. Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2: I think that a personal recommendation to somebody you know
Speaker 2: is like priceless. I do it all the time. Oh
Speaker 2: my god. I love saying you ever set people up successfully?
Speaker 2: I have?
Speaker 1: Actually yeah, yeah, well I did it professionally, so yes.
Speaker 1: But I've also done it. I always try to do
Speaker 1: it in my personal life, like I'm always looking. It's
Speaker 1: harder for me for some reason, maybe because a woman,
Speaker 1: I have more female friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a lot more female friends, right, and
Speaker 2: I don't even know any single men. When I do.
Speaker 1: As soon as I meet a single guy, like around
Speaker 1: our age, my head starts to race. I'm like whipping
Speaker 1: through the roll decks of my mind and thinking, you know,
Speaker 1: who could this person work for? I A Wloulds say
Speaker 1: to Jeff, like, you know, you're not paying attention. There's
Speaker 1: no one in the firm, no one who He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, working, I have things going on in
Speaker 1: my day. I'm not recruiting single lawyers. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: love setting people up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I just don't know how I would,
Speaker 2: like God forbid anything ever happened in my marriage, Like,
Speaker 2: I don't even know where I would begin. I don't
Speaker 2: even know that I would know how to date anybody.
Speaker 1: I don't know if i'd want if i'd want to,
Speaker 1: but I think that I would do it way better
Speaker 1: than when I was an insecure twenty something like I
Speaker 1: feel like the trick for me and this is what
Speaker 1: I did used to tell people, friends and clients, but
Speaker 1: is to not go into every situation like this could
Speaker 1: be the one. Assume it's not the one. Right, you're
Speaker 1: going out you're going to meet someone. I would never
Speaker 1: do a dinner. I would only do a coffee now
Speaker 1: because who wants to commit that kind of time? But
Speaker 1: like go in thinking this person hopefully will become a
Speaker 1: friend of mine, and if there's no spark, maybe this
Speaker 1: person's best friend I will meet, or maybe this person
Speaker 1: has someone that they think they're not digging me, but
Speaker 1: they know someone, or like just going in it just
Speaker 1: and if it's not friends, you're just going in to
Speaker 1: meet somebody, just shoot the shit. Why not take out
Speaker 1: you know, twenty minutes and like not it's take all
Speaker 1: the intensity off of it, right, Like it doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be your husband.
Speaker 2: I believe in soulmates.
Speaker 1: No, not really, no, I believe in people that you
Speaker 1: love that you feel you can't imagine life without that
Speaker 1: feel like they're part of you, but soulmates. Know, I
Speaker 1: think there's I think you could love lots and lots
Speaker 1: and lots and lots of people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I feel like I should say no
Speaker 2: to that, But then when I picture Evan, I can't
Speaker 2: imagine not like being married to anybody else or sharing
Speaker 2: my life with anybody else. I don't think there's anybody
Speaker 2: else that could understand me, or that I could tolerate.
Speaker 2: Not only tolerate, but I like, I love being around him.
Speaker 2: I can't get enough of him, And I don't know
Speaker 2: that there's anyone else that I can ever feel that way.
Speaker 1: You're very blessed. I feel very blessed to be in
Speaker 1: the marriage that I'm in. But realistically, I mean, I
Speaker 1: love Evan to death. I agree he's unique, but like
Speaker 1: it would have been someone else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, I dated, you know, I just
Speaker 2: I don't know. Well, Luckily, I hopefully I will never
Speaker 2: have to know. Yes, but I do have a lot
Speaker 2: of questions for Patty, and I'm excited so her new.
Speaker 1: Show, Matchmaker, The Matchmaker, Yes, all right?
Speaker 4: Is what what is it? It's on the CW. It
Speaker 4: airs Thursdays at eight PM on the CW and streams
Speaker 4: Fridays on the CW APP. I do enjoy people falling
Speaker 4: in love.
Speaker 1: I love that too. I mean, I'm very much into
Speaker 1: the Bachelor and The Batcher. I can't I can't watch
Speaker 1: every season at some point, but those relationships never end
Speaker 1: up working out, right, watching people fall for each other?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but is that for real?
Speaker 1: Royal is actually I think he's just got married, but
Speaker 1: he's he was joining our Yeah, he was, grade.
Speaker 2: He was. He did a bunch of seasons. I think
Speaker 2: at one point he was on the Bachelorette. I think
Speaker 2: he was the Bachelor. Yeah, they worked together two and
Speaker 2: he ended up marrying somebody that he did not meet
Speaker 2: from the show. I believe correct. I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we could ask Patty. I know he's a pod but
Speaker 2: I know he's very fantastic podcasts and very cute. I
Speaker 2: just feel like there are so many more single women
Speaker 2: than there are single men. I don't know.
Speaker 1: We have to ask her if that's still the case.
Speaker 1: And that was always right, that really shitty thing people
Speaker 1: used to say, like, if you there, you have a
Speaker 1: better chance of getting hitting hit by lightning than be
Speaker 1: getting married. After women, this is for women getting married
Speaker 1: after forty five, like something.
Speaker 2: Just well, I know that Alaska is like the worst
Speaker 2: place for a woman to be a man. Do you
Speaker 2: know about that? There's like ten women for every one man.
Speaker 2: If you're a single guy, they say, like that's the
Speaker 2: place to be. Wow. Yeah, I have to see the
Speaker 2: stats on that, But it's something crazy like that.
Speaker 1: Why would more women want to be in Alaska? I
Speaker 1: wonder it's like the last I want to visit. I
Speaker 1: very much want to visit, but to live in Alaska
Speaker 1: it's a little cold, sunny. I can't take New Jersey.
Speaker 1: I'm like just thinking there. I can't take New Jersey,
Speaker 1: counting off the years to get my place in Florida
Speaker 1: other reasons. Yeah, well right, but let's not even go
Speaker 1: there today.
Speaker 2: So are you kind of like living vicariously through your
Speaker 2: kids dating right now? Do they give you any feedback?
Speaker 2: Are you allowed to ask questions?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I'm definitely not living vicariously through them. The last thing
Speaker 1: I'd want to do right now is date. No, not
Speaker 1: like that what you're saying, Yell, you know, it's interesting.
Speaker 1: My daughter gives me every single detail, So ask me
Speaker 1: anything about anybody that Rachel has.
Speaker 2: That's so amazing. That means she trusts you, or maybe
Speaker 2: it means I'm.
Speaker 1: Dysfunctional and I've raised her to be codependent. And there
Speaker 1: are a lot of different ways that you can.
Speaker 2: Look at and then look at it the other way,
Speaker 2: Like my therapist.
Speaker 1: Would probably say, it's now becoming like inappropriate and so
Speaker 1: and well. The other piece is that I also sort
Speaker 1: of demand it. I just I when you pummel somebody
Speaker 1: with questions, so whatever, maybe it's not so healthy, but
Speaker 1: that's just the way it is. And then in terms
Speaker 1: of my son, no, he is not interested in talking
Speaker 1: to me, and it actually annoys me because I'm not
Speaker 1: asking him crazy questions like I'm like, what was so,
Speaker 1: how was your date Wednesday? And he'll give me this
Speaker 1: look and I'm like, honey, I'm not asking you how
Speaker 1: the sex was. I'm not asking you to like tell
Speaker 1: me what happened when you whatever, I say something completely
Speaker 1: inappropriate and he just gives me a dirty look. But
Speaker 1: like I'm just saying, did you like her?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: How did how did it go? But he really just
Speaker 1: won't give up too much. But I try to also
Speaker 1: advise my daughter, and because I did go through you know,
Speaker 1: that whole world of dating and it can be very painful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I definitely try to help to guide her, like
Speaker 1: that whole phrase that came out how long ago sex
Speaker 1: and sy like he just made he's just not that
Speaker 1: into you. Like to learn that early if he doesn't
Speaker 1: call you and you don't hear from him, or when
Speaker 1: you do hear from him, he doesn't ask you questions
Speaker 1: or like, he's just not that into you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I had a guy tell me that he could take
Speaker 2: me out on it, he could meet up with me
Speaker 2: on a Thursday Wednesday, but that his weekends are too
Speaker 2: valuable and are just like are you do you even
Speaker 2: understand what you're saying. See back in the day, would
Speaker 2: have been like, Okay, what time Wednesday? Yeah, that is
Speaker 2: so I think that's probably what I said. I mean,
Speaker 2: that would have been so me.
Speaker 1: And that's why I don't want Rachel, you know, to
Speaker 1: be like and but you have to live and learn that, right,
Speaker 1: And it's very easy to get caught up when you
Speaker 1: when your hormones are running wild and you meet somebody
Speaker 1: and they're cute, and you want to convince yourself that
Speaker 1: you know he is into you. And but I think
Speaker 1: that guys and will again talk to the expert about it,
Speaker 1: but just give off very clear signals.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think. Well, you know, nowadays everyone is
Speaker 2: more open and more vulnerable. I feel like men can
Speaker 2: share their feelings more these days. Yes, you know, it's
Speaker 2: very interesting. I don't I've only seen my father cry twice,
Speaker 2: and I've only seen Evan cry once. Wow, yeah, I
Speaker 2: haven't seen barely. Isn't that wild? I mean that's topic
Speaker 2: for another time. But like, I just feel like men
Speaker 2: nowadays are allowed to be more emotional. My son's cry.
Speaker 5: They cry all the time, of course, but they're so
Speaker 5: baby they should be able to. Well, you know, I
Speaker 5: have two sixteen year olds, and I'm so glad that
Speaker 5: they feel like it's okay for them to cry.
Speaker 2: Not only about like you know things that like Mom
Speaker 2: won't let me stay out tonight, you know, but like
Speaker 2: real things. They get upset about something and they feel
Speaker 2: okay crying, And I you know, I don't think that
Speaker 2: was true two generations ago, or even one generation ago.
Speaker 1: My kid is very sensitive. But if he even starts
Speaker 1: to water up, like he's out of here, like he
Speaker 1: does not want me to see him ever. Oh really, No, way.
Speaker 5: My kids will use my shirt as their tissues will.
Speaker 1: Well, Rachel will do that too, yeah, yeah, yeah. And
Speaker 1: also I'd feel like it's so tricky for them right
Speaker 1: now because for my not your my kid's age, everyone
Speaker 1: is thinking marriage. And when I say everyone, I don't
Speaker 1: know about them as much. But like it's funny because
Speaker 1: all my friends we all have kids around the same age.
Speaker 1: So when one of the kids start dating someone, it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Okay, where is he from? What do
Speaker 1: his parents do? Not what do his parents do? In
Speaker 1: an anoxious way, but like tell me more about where
Speaker 1: and where do they live, because you're thinking, well, my family,
Speaker 1: I don't want I'm not going to fly across the
Speaker 1: country to see the grandkids, like you.
Speaker 2: Can't, you know what I mean? Like you like you
Speaker 2: jump by eighteen steps ahead.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, you're like you know, I mean, for us,
Speaker 1: a lot of times it's like is she Jewish?
Speaker 2: Is he Jewish?
Speaker 1: And I don't know my parents my kids will marry
Speaker 1: someone Jewish, but it's just my instinct to ask, you
Speaker 1: know you just like are they I check.
Speaker 2: Out the parents now, because that's where your head goes,
Speaker 2: like this is going to be my family, Yes, and
Speaker 2: ideally you would want parents that like you can get
Speaker 2: along with. Like this weekend for Mother's Day, we had
Speaker 2: my parents over, we had Evan's parents over, and they
Speaker 2: sit in there. They have a beautiful, nice, lovely relationship.
Speaker 2: We don't encourage them to get together when we're not
Speaker 2: like involved, because we feel like our relationship is secret
Speaker 2: and we want to avoid any kind of right problems. Interesting,
Speaker 2: but they have a beautiful relationship and they get along lovely,
Speaker 2: and like I want that too.
Speaker 1: I want that too, but I think that relationship is again,
Speaker 1: as we know that in law relationship is hard. I
Speaker 1: mean I'm already, like I say to my son all
Speaker 1: the time, like I'm just letting you know, like we're
Speaker 1: getting Thanksgiving, Like I don't even want to hear it.
Speaker 1: So you could tell her and like I'm already pissed
Speaker 1: at her.
Speaker 2: You can tell her, Okay, so you're going to get
Speaker 2: every Thanksgiving? Well that's what I want. I mean, we
Speaker 2: go on and off, but the past few years we've.
Speaker 1: Well posted it's always at my house, like for my
Speaker 1: my entire family, we always have like I don't know,
Speaker 1: between thirty and forty people here.
Speaker 2: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: But it's like the greatest, you know, day of the year. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I'm just teasing. Obviously, I'm gonna have to like
Speaker 1: understand that everything is not just about me and my
Speaker 1: baby boy.
Speaker 2: So I will, I will. You know, anyway, how do
Speaker 2: we get here? We're talking about dating? I don't know,
Speaker 2: we're talking about dating. We're talking about Patty's here. Okay, guys,
Speaker 2: Oh yay, I'm so excited me too. All Right, guys,
Speaker 2: so you know Patty from Millionaire Matchmaker. You're gonna know
Speaker 2: her again from the Matchmaker. Let's bring her in. Patti Stanger.
Speaker 3: My god.
Speaker 1: We were talking about before you came on, how you
Speaker 1: are for us. You're iconic, I mean yes, but like yeah,
Speaker 1: but you're came way before us. You like you paved
Speaker 1: the way. I mean, I just lived and died for
Speaker 1: a Millionaire Matchmaker. It's just I absolutely loved it. I
Speaker 1: feel like we're the probably.
Speaker 2: I don't hope.
Speaker 1: I'm not insulting you or Jackie and or You're younger
Speaker 1: than me, but maybe around the same age. I'm fifty five.
Speaker 3: I'm way older, but that's okay. You're older than me, Yes,
Speaker 3: I'm older, but I'm not telling.
Speaker 2: You I'm not asking you, but you look me. I
Speaker 2: thought you were my age.
Speaker 1: But I'm saying because I used to watch and I
Speaker 1: could like relate, you know, it was like we were
Speaker 1: sort of were you a.
Speaker 3: Single when you watch? We single or married.
Speaker 2: When you watch?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I was single when I watched. I think, well,
Speaker 1: how many years ago?
Speaker 2: Maybe not?
Speaker 3: It was so long ago, but I mean it was
Speaker 3: off three seasons and I left. I left them for
Speaker 3: legal reasons because they wanted my trademark and it just
Speaker 3: didn't work out. And I had another offer, and I
Speaker 3: went to the other offer, which now today I kind
Speaker 3: of regret that I didn't stay the other office times
Speaker 3: the amount of money and a lot more of money,
Speaker 3: but it wasn't Bravo, and there is nothing like Bravo.
Speaker 3: And when you jump to other networks, it's great, it's fine.
Speaker 3: But coming home, like high school tonight, I felt like,
Speaker 3: oh god, I miss it. I really missed Welcome See
Speaker 3: it was the wild West when we were on, you know,
Speaker 3: but I miss everybody that worked there. My cousin works
Speaker 3: there now, so nice, Like yeah, my cousin works for
Speaker 3: Kim mckaidor right now so Joe, so like yeah, so
Speaker 3: it's kind of funny, it's kind of weird. And then
Speaker 3: one of the production assistants is my one of my
Speaker 3: good friends daughter who works on Embassy row for Andy show.
Speaker 3: So it's like, yeah, like that sort of thing watching
Speaker 3: the new shows come up.
Speaker 2: Your new show's on CW, isn't it is on c W.
Speaker 3: It's a very different show. It can be us and
Speaker 3: he tell us about it. You can watch this show
Speaker 3: because it's basically about the patterns that we have we
Speaker 3: keep doing over and over and again and nothing gets broken.
Speaker 3: Talk therapy is not working. So I bring in all
Speaker 3: these experts in that I know that it fixed my clients.
Speaker 3: It's true to form, it's in real time. There's nothing
Speaker 3: re enacted. We don't write a show and we take
Speaker 3: these clients and some of them are celebrities and some
Speaker 3: of them are regular people and they're not millionaires, maybe
Speaker 3: a few, but not a lot, and the real people.
Speaker 3: So it's really exciting that CW gave me this opportunity.
Speaker 1: Why did you go from the format being, you know,
Speaker 1: millionaire matchmaker millionaires to people that are.
Speaker 2: Not I mean, first of all, the different show I realize, namely.
Speaker 3: The format reverted back to me, and I could have
Speaker 3: done Millionaire Matchmaker anywhere I own the rights, but Bravo
Speaker 3: is iconic with that, and I really wanted to help everybody,
Speaker 3: like I didn't want you to have to come in
Speaker 3: and you have to have a certain amount of money
Speaker 3: for me to help you. So we're trying to come
Speaker 3: with the show. So I had to come up with
Speaker 3: another format with IPC where we really dug d. You know.
Speaker 3: It's it's more of a therapy show. I call it.
Speaker 3: I'm not a therapist, but I call it a healing show.
Speaker 3: We're healing you of your problems and teaching the air
Speaker 3: of your way so that when you get that final
Speaker 3: date that I give you, it may not be the one,
Speaker 3: but you will test out your skill set.
Speaker 2: Now, do you feel like in your new show you
Speaker 2: have to be more PC than you were years ago?
Speaker 2: Because the world is.
Speaker 3: Different network, I can't curse as much. Even though they
Speaker 3: said okay, and they believe me, I'm more mellower since
Speaker 3: since Brava and he asked me that, I said, I'm
Speaker 3: way more mellower, and I'm much more deepfare a lot
Speaker 3: more compassion, a lot more empathy. I would never call
Speaker 3: a redhead out. Now. I think the men didn't like
Speaker 3: the redheads, but I watch men who sound like X
Speaker 3: and I yell at them because I'm angry that you
Speaker 3: don't want this beautiful girl. And in a couple of
Speaker 3: weeks up agoes back two weeks episodes, this guy was
Speaker 3: using Instagram to get dates and he was pretending he
Speaker 3: was giving them photoshoots, and I was super angry. I
Speaker 3: said to the network, I don't want to do this.
Speaker 3: They said, Patty, just go through the motion. You will
Speaker 3: know what to do in the end and the audience
Speaker 3: will respond. Well. I gave him the most gorgeous girl.
Speaker 3: He now tells me she's not good enough, He's not
Speaker 3: that hot, He's lying to women. I threw him out
Speaker 3: of the house.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: I knew if he didn't play my game and didn't learn,
Speaker 3: this was not going to work out. I just knew that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's so interesting, and I think it must
Speaker 1: be really difficult. I know that it is in today's
Speaker 1: social media crazy world that we're living in to help people,
Speaker 1: you know, match up. Because we were talking about before
Speaker 1: you came on, a lot of these kids, not even kids,
Speaker 1: older people are have become so dependent on these apps,
Speaker 1: right on the hinges and tinders of it all. And
Speaker 1: so it's I think that it's actually been really bad
Speaker 1: for young men's self esteem. I think it's really it,
Speaker 1: doesn't it.
Speaker 3: Actually it's way worse for the women.
Speaker 6: There were more what I was asking, Yeah, men are
Speaker 6: losers right now if you do not teach your teenage
Speaker 6: sons to be a gentleman from the get go.
Speaker 3: This is where the problem is. The women are allowing
Speaker 3: them kids to live at home, you know, like it's
Speaker 3: cool to live at home now. And you know, when
Speaker 3: I was doing a lot of work with the Persian
Speaker 3: community back in La there were forty year old men
Speaker 3: driving Mercedes, having gorgeous, gorgeous life clothes, fun living at
Speaker 3: home with mommy. The girls had moved out. And I
Speaker 3: go to do a speak engagement at Nessa this temple
Speaker 3: and they're like, please tell us what to do. I'm like,
Speaker 3: kick your sons out of the house. And they have it.
Speaker 3: In Italy a big thing called gommami onis where they
Speaker 3: live forever with their mothers. They never get married, they
Speaker 3: sleep at the girl's house, they have sex, and they're
Speaker 3: not men. So the problem starts with the men not
Speaker 3: the women. The women said. The women sets the tone
Speaker 3: of what she will accept, but it is up to
Speaker 3: the men to ask the girl out. Now women are
Speaker 3: scared of apps because the men are not being gentlemen.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of married men online in relationships, gaslighting
Speaker 3: and playing games. I'm not blaming all men. I'm saying
Speaker 3: that the men need to be men in order to
Speaker 3: get a woman, and that is the issue.
Speaker 1: My question is that because of social media though, and
Speaker 1: it's people are not meeting like they used to. They
Speaker 1: don't have they don't go to bars, and they don't
Speaker 1: learn to socialize, and they don't learn to make eye
Speaker 1: contact and put their phones down.
Speaker 2: And okay, so you're getting a couple, kid.
Speaker 3: I made fragrances for a couples, craverances, singles, gayer straight.
Speaker 3: This is the energy when you go to the grocery store,
Speaker 3: to Starbucks, whatever, you will stand there, do nothing as
Speaker 3: a woman, because a woman's most potent when she's still.
Speaker 3: But you can still use it to get jiggy in
Speaker 3: the bedroom with your boyfriend. You will be attracted to
Speaker 3: each other. So when you're talking about and going to
Speaker 3: the bars, it's because you can't taste touchtel smell. That's
Speaker 3: the bad part. But the men are using the apps
Speaker 3: for entertainment. I tell a girl two three times say hey, listen,
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be on the app much longer.
Speaker 3: Here's my number if you want to meet me. Goodbye.
Speaker 3: If the guy doesn't call, he's not your guy. The
Speaker 3: guy calls, he's like, WHOA, No girl ever gave me
Speaker 3: your number before. This is amazing, which happened with my
Speaker 3: last boyfriend, because women just play games. But I said,
Speaker 3: stop being entertainment for them. You are filling up their
Speaker 3: left hand for them to go bigger. Better deal to
Speaker 3: someone else, whether it's an X or someone new. You
Speaker 3: don't want to do that. You need to see right
Speaker 3: away is he interested in you? And as you're willing
Speaker 3: to make a phone call, you have to hear his voice.
Speaker 3: Women scientifically fall in love between their ears. Men fall
Speaker 3: between their eyes. So if you don't hear his voice
Speaker 3: on the phone, there's no game. So these women are
Speaker 3: texting and they're like going on dates without even talking
Speaker 3: to them or my favorite one in COVID was that
Speaker 3: I have a boyfriend. Have you met him? No? Two
Speaker 3: years they've been texting.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like men now are not as interested
Speaker 2: in settling down and having a family and children.
Speaker 3: Okay, so for everyone out of ten there's a man
Speaker 3: who wants to settle down. It's the green light theory
Speaker 3: that they had on sex in the city. There are
Speaker 3: men that want to settle down and there are men
Speaker 3: who don't. Your job is to vet it. You got
Speaker 3: to keep moving like a shark. Women fall in love
Speaker 3: through oxytocin, taste, touch, smell, feel, hug me, kiss me.
Speaker 3: I am now in love. That's why it's be careful.
Speaker 3: If you have a lot of estrogen in your body
Speaker 3: and you're not in menopause, you will get stuck to
Speaker 3: a loser just by one decent orgasm.
Speaker 2: Or hug wow.
Speaker 3: Men fall in love through vassuppressing. They do not fall
Speaker 3: in love through sexually. They have to be emotionally. What
Speaker 3: is that doing things together, doing hobbies, interests, learning a skill,
Speaker 3: and when stress comes, you bond together. During the stress,
Speaker 3: he will go deeper, deeper, deeper, and if more vasa
Speaker 3: pressed than he has, the more he's going to want
Speaker 3: to marry you.
Speaker 1: Peiser, You'll think that people like people say you have
Speaker 1: to know if the man is ready or if he's
Speaker 1: looking for even if he's not. Let's say that he
Speaker 1: is a guy that doesn't want to get married. When
Speaker 1: he meets the woman who you know, makes his eyes
Speaker 1: pop out of his head, doesn't that change everything? Like
Speaker 1: I feel like guys can say all the time, I'm
Speaker 1: not ready to settle down. I just want to have
Speaker 1: a good time until they meet the woman that blows
Speaker 1: them away, and all of a sudden they are ready
Speaker 1: for those things.
Speaker 3: Well, there's two kinds of men. They're the men that
Speaker 3: are hunting and looking for the wife. Everybody in my
Speaker 3: group is married, my parents are married. I'm tired of dating.
Speaker 3: Usually that light goes off and he's asking buyer's questions, Well,
Speaker 3: where would you want to live if we got married?
Speaker 3: What would you want to do? And he's asking them.
Speaker 3: On the first and second date, you're getting interviewed, but
Speaker 3: you don't really is it okay? And then there's the
Speaker 3: man that's like, you know, I'm just moving along, I'm
Speaker 3: getting late, I'm having a good time. I got a girlfriend,
Speaker 3: and then boom, he meets another girl that is the
Speaker 3: perfect thing on his wish lists. Maybe it doesn't even
Speaker 3: check under the hood of the car and he's like,
Speaker 3: she's the one, So they're visual, they see what they
Speaker 3: want and they go after it. But if he's coasting
Speaker 3: with an old girl that won't put up boundaries, he's
Speaker 3: going to keep looking. That's the bad ratify. You can
Speaker 3: never give a guy more than a year over thirty.
Speaker 1: Do you think that it should be that a woman
Speaker 1: has to put up Well, it is, I suppose, But like,
Speaker 1: if he's not issuing to get married, I don't know,
Speaker 1: a few months later and you have to then go
Speaker 1: a year and then you start putting on bet do you.
Speaker 2: Still want him? Like you don't, You're gonna not. Do
Speaker 2: you want to feel like you're forcing someone.
Speaker 3: To marry you he's not invested in the experience of marriage,
Speaker 3: then you're not going to want to be with him anymore,
Speaker 3: you know. Like if he's okay, let's say he says
Speaker 3: I want to get married, but then he does, his
Speaker 3: actions don't match his words. You're not going to be
Speaker 3: it now. The self esteem girl the high self esteem goes,
Speaker 3: I don't want to be with you, and she closes
Speaker 3: her legs. The other girl goes, well, wait a second,
Speaker 3: you wanted me in the beginning. How do I get them,
Speaker 3: I'm going to do all these I'm gonna turn myself
Speaker 3: into every self up book. I'm gonna go to every seminar.
Speaker 3: I'm going to do everything and make you. They think
Speaker 3: they're going to make themselves sexual vicxins, and all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, the guy's going to go, oh, by the
Speaker 3: most amazing organism, let's go to the altered Oh my.
Speaker 2: God, that was me.
Speaker 1: How many hours did I spend getting ready for a
Speaker 1: date with a guy that didn't like me? And I
Speaker 1: put so much because if I got the hair blown
Speaker 1: out and this outfit and the money and the and
Speaker 1: it just didn't work.
Speaker 2: He just wasn't in me.
Speaker 3: Is like with my ex boyfriend. I didn't like him
Speaker 3: on the first date and I was thinking, Okay, I'm
Speaker 3: not going to date him. And he felt the switch
Speaker 3: and because he was a hunter, we go to the valet,
Speaker 3: he pays the valet. He says, what are you doing
Speaker 3: Saturday night? And I'm like, I don't want to go
Speaker 3: out and he says, what about the Dodger game? I
Speaker 3: have season tickets? And I was like, oh, that was
Speaker 3: kind of like I make You're supposed to make a
Speaker 3: list in when I teach people. I teach a course
Speaker 3: called Love and Money with Kathleen Cameron, and I teach
Speaker 3: my girls, make a list of the things you want
Speaker 3: to do, so if the date goes south, you got
Speaker 3: something out of it, Like I want to go to
Speaker 3: the theater, I want to go to concert, whatever. So
Speaker 3: Dodgers was on my list. I said, oh, may that's cool,
Speaker 3: we go to Dodger game. Okay, I'll go And then
Speaker 3: he kissed me on the lips. Didn't like him on
Speaker 3: the date, didn't feel anything, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: my body came to life because he wasn't my type totally.
Speaker 3: He was a little out of the box. He's a
Speaker 3: little aggressive, and I just went, WHOA is that? And
Speaker 3: then he hunted me. It went wrong for various reasons
Speaker 3: after ten months. But I was a great girlfriend and
Speaker 3: he hunted me, and I could feel the hunt and
Speaker 3: I feel he liked me, liked him, which turned me
Speaker 3: on a little bit because my mother used to say,
Speaker 3: as a Jewish mother, and my mom used to say,
Speaker 3: have the guy elects you a little bit more, just
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 5: Understand what that means later right, it.
Speaker 3: Didn't work out, but I learned so much at this age,
Speaker 3: which I thought nobody could teach me anything that you're
Speaker 3: still no matter that, still there's breath in your body,
Speaker 3: You're still going to be learning about yourself and relationships.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you said he was an ex though XX.
Speaker 3: Yeah he has a new girlfriend.
Speaker 2: Now, so you're you're dating now currently you're single and
Speaker 2: you're dating just.
Speaker 3: Started dating on the apps. I took a year and
Speaker 3: a half break to heal myself. It was a traumatic.
Speaker 3: He asked me to marry him and we need to
Speaker 3: get engaged. I was really close to his family and
Speaker 3: his kids. It was traumatic for me. Was exactly like
Speaker 3: my dad. He was the father wound. And my dad
Speaker 3: was a difficult person, and he is the father wound.
Speaker 3: And when I went to therapy, I do healing therapy.
Speaker 3: I don't do like talk therapy. I do body somatic stuff.
Speaker 3: When I realized it, he was the mirror image of
Speaker 3: my father. And I was trying to heal my father
Speaker 3: like I was trying to heal my ex. There was
Speaker 3: issues there. I don't want to stay in the air
Speaker 3: for very straight. I don't want to hurt him.
Speaker 6: And so.
Speaker 3: He was the wound that I couldn't you know, clean
Speaker 3: you have to understand I'm adopted. My mom was married
Speaker 3: three times. She picked bad men, a lot of alcoholics.
Speaker 3: My dad was an alcoholic and she she didn't give
Speaker 3: us a safe environment. So we were always on edge,
Speaker 3: always like quick, hurry up, hunt yourself, Dad's coming home.
Speaker 3: We were scared all the time. And safety is a
Speaker 3: big critical issue for me. I have to have safety
Speaker 3: for me to spread my legs like I make them. Wait.
Speaker 3: That's why there's no sex before monogamy, so that I
Speaker 3: can see under the hood of the car. But again,
Speaker 3: narcissists like my dad can cover their tracks and they
Speaker 3: basically can be, you know, a chameleon. Oh you love this,
Speaker 3: I love this. Yoh you want to do this. I
Speaker 3: want to do this, And like you don't know that
Speaker 3: they're they're playing you and gaslighting you. So when I
Speaker 3: went through this traumatic experience, it said, this isn't a
Speaker 3: time for me to Everyone's like, oh, go out there
Speaker 3: and get another one. I'm like, no, I have to
Speaker 3: heal myself. So I spent the whole year. I'm just
Speaker 3: starting to date right now.
Speaker 2: Wow. Good, And do you feel more secure? I think
Speaker 2: I read somewhere that you you look like you're thirty five.
Speaker 2: But I think I read somewhere that you're dating in
Speaker 2: your early sixties, So.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Katie. I heard husband on the air the way.
Speaker 3: David Yatip's my friend.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I remember him being on your show. I do. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he's a good guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, oh good.
Speaker 3: It's true. It's true. But I mean I really I
Speaker 3: feel safer in one way that I know myself, but
Speaker 3: I worry about who's out there. You know, you meet
Speaker 3: these people in the apps and they're randoms like you
Speaker 3: don't know. So my best friend is Bonnie Winkler. She's
Speaker 3: the big New York time. Yes, yeah, I trained, we
Speaker 3: go way way back. She said, I'm getting you married
Speaker 3: this year. And so she just started fixing me up.
Speaker 3: And the first guy should fix me up with his
Speaker 3: next NFL player. And I said, he's cute, but he's
Speaker 3: a little Massachusetts boring, like pep preppy. I'm not a
Speaker 3: preppy girl. I said, give him to Shannon and it'll
Speaker 3: be perfect. So we're fixing up Shannon with him.
Speaker 2: Shannon. Oh, I love that. Oh that's amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I really want Shannon to.
Speaker 1: You know what I was saying to Jackie earlier, again
Speaker 1: before you came on that if I was single right
Speaker 1: now at fifty five, I think I would do it
Speaker 1: so much better because I just know so much more.
Speaker 1: And the way that I think I would approach it
Speaker 1: would be I would go out with whomever, assuming that
Speaker 1: that wasn't going to be the one, Like I would
Speaker 1: go out saying, Okay, I'm just going to make a friend.
Speaker 3: Well that's that's the way you're dating is the way
Speaker 3: it should be. And my body doesn't respond sexually like
Speaker 3: it did one. Okay, let's talk about dirty thirties. When
Speaker 3: I was in my thirties, even I got monogamy. I
Speaker 3: always get monogamy. I was a sexual evictionent, Like the
Speaker 3: minute I saw the guy, even though I made him wait,
Speaker 3: I wanted to sleep with him. You know, my hormones
Speaker 3: ruled the roost, you know. And so now that I'm
Speaker 3: older and i'm you know, menopause whatever, I realize my
Speaker 3: brain is working differently. I'm qualifying them more like a
Speaker 3: business deal to see, like is this a compatible match?
Speaker 3: Because you really want compatibility. At the end of the day,
Speaker 3: It's not about red carpets and travel. It's about staying
Speaker 3: home and cooking and what TV show you're gonna watch,
Speaker 3: Like Real time talking? Do we connect and talk? Do
Speaker 3: I like a smell? Do I love his touch? Like
Speaker 3: sex can be awful in the beginning, but you really
Speaker 3: like someone and you're gonna work on the body maneuvering.
Speaker 3: You know, there's millions tonsure, there's a million things you
Speaker 3: can do. So the thing is you're looking for a
Speaker 3: compatible match. I'm also an astrologer, so I do look
Speaker 3: at astrology and there's things like that. I do have
Speaker 3: psychic energy. I read the psychic vibes of someone.
Speaker 2: Is this whole thing?
Speaker 3: But I make mistakes and when I love someone and
Speaker 3: they hurt me, it's hard for me to get over them.
Speaker 3: And just I'm gonna move on to the next person. Person,
Speaker 3: I'm like to lick the wounds and hide in the closet.
Speaker 1: You know, do you so say the people asking you
Speaker 1: about like this is your job? So like a doctor, right,
Speaker 1: like you don't want all the pay, you don't want
Speaker 1: your patient saying, well, you know, tell me about your
Speaker 1: stuff and your medical conditions.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you why. So I did a problem where
Speaker 3: I dated down financially and it's not for me, and
Speaker 3: I couldn't find the cute guy that I like sexually
Speaker 3: that had the money. I couldn't find the mismatch. There's
Speaker 3: something in my brain that couldn't register that. Also, I
Speaker 3: moved to the West Coast away from I probably would
Speaker 3: have been married, had kids in Jersey if I stayed
Speaker 3: in Jersey. And the men are quite different here than
Speaker 3: either alpha. They go after it. They're not like that
Speaker 3: back in the West Coast that the women run. So
Speaker 3: I dated down. That caused me a lot of problems.
Speaker 3: In the beginning, it wasn't a big deal, but then
Speaker 3: they resent your success. My last boyfriend said to me,
Speaker 3: I was intimidated by your success, and I never knew it.
Speaker 3: The whole time. I was datium because I wasn't working
Speaker 3: and I didn't get my show to the end of relationship.
Speaker 3: So I thought, am I ever going to get back
Speaker 3: on the air. I'm gonna have to focus on my
Speaker 3: regular business, maybe get into the pheromohone business, like I
Speaker 3: wasn't thinking I was going to go back on TV,
Speaker 3: and so he said he was intimidated. He also, I
Speaker 3: leave a very healthy lifestyle. He likes to drink, so
Speaker 3: he said, you know, I'm nervous about your healthy lifestyle, which,
Speaker 3: by the way, he lost twenty pounds because of me,
Speaker 3: and I cleaned him up, and so he asked me
Speaker 3: to marry him. So I had everyone asking me to
Speaker 3: marry him. I chose not to cross that street. Like
Speaker 3: he said, let's get engaged, let's move in together, and
Speaker 3: I said, okay, let's see what happens. And I was
Speaker 3: very cautious about it. As I get older, you get
Speaker 3: more cautious. So it wasn't like I don't get offers.
Speaker 2: I just have no.
Speaker 1: And I feel like I've heard you say that before,
Speaker 1: but it just must be so tedious to have, Like
Speaker 1: you know, you're sitting there, you're helping people.
Speaker 2: It's not that can't be an easy thing.
Speaker 3: It used to hurt me when I was on a
Speaker 3: millionaire match making sure I became my metric or engaged.
Speaker 3: I came on at the end of it. I lived
Speaker 3: with my ex David a different day of it, and
Speaker 3: then I went to Wei and we I was single,
Speaker 3: so it was like I'd gotten it over and over again.
Speaker 3: And you know, if financially it's not like if even
Speaker 3: if they make less money, there are certain things that
Speaker 3: I want, like what Amanda's doing from Summerhouse, who was
Speaker 3: on Watch what Happens with Me? She said, you know,
Speaker 3: cafes all the bills, but I buy the groceries, and
Speaker 3: you know, I get him this and I do that,
Speaker 3: and it's kind of like what I wanted, you know.
Speaker 3: And it was hard to find because La doesn't have
Speaker 3: a Wall Street so they don't make serious money. And
Speaker 3: if they're an agent or a director or producer, they're
Speaker 3: dating twenty two year olds, so they're not They're immature
Speaker 3: in their mindset, where in New York you could be
Speaker 3: at a seven or eight but curing cancer and the
Speaker 3: men think you're amazing because they're intelligent. Here. You know,
Speaker 3: there's a lot of intelligence. I think also after October seventh,
Speaker 3: a lot of the Jewish women like me who are
Speaker 3: single or scared, we had like talks about, you know,
Speaker 3: should we all go get guns and learn how to shoot?
Speaker 3: And you know, there's not that man protecting us, which
Speaker 3: you guys have as husbands, which you know, even if
Speaker 3: you're more alpha than them, you still got a man
Speaker 3: in the bed at night, which gives you oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine,
Speaker 3: and you get ready step for your day. We don't
Speaker 3: have that unless you probably have.
Speaker 2: Does that make you want it? Does that make you
Speaker 2: want to date Jewish men? What happened October seventh? Does
Speaker 2: that make you want to find a Jewish man?
Speaker 3: Or are you still I've only dated gentles?
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the sense that our so our podcast, we
Speaker 1: always focus on women of a certain age, right, like
Speaker 1: our age, so the three of us. But in terms
Speaker 1: of meeting people now and I don't know, does the
Speaker 1: show doesn't focus on any particular age, right.
Speaker 2: You're fixing up.
Speaker 3: People that are getting back in the game for the
Speaker 3: first time. I don't I didn't follow the episode this
Speaker 3: week or whatever. But there was a woman a couple
Speaker 3: of weeks ago with gray hair who'd never been out
Speaker 3: of the house and terrified. And there's been women that
Speaker 3: have been raped on the show. There have been women
Speaker 3: who've been left at the altar on the show. There's
Speaker 3: like really cases because when you go to their history,
Speaker 3: you're like, how did you how did you survive that?
Speaker 1: You know, like, do you do you have different do
Speaker 1: you give different advice though a women of a certain age,
Speaker 1: So if somebody comes to you single around our age,
Speaker 1: and we always say that our range is like from
Speaker 1: Jackie's forty seven on fifty five, but let's say from
Speaker 1: forties up into the sixties, Like what what how would
Speaker 1: you treat a female client differently that's someone in that
Speaker 1: age range as opposed to a younger.
Speaker 3: First of all, it depending on five to do a makeover.
Speaker 3: We start with a makeover, but then we go back
Speaker 3: and we look at their history on the intake, and
Speaker 3: then I figure out where did the did the love
Speaker 3: life go wrong? Because it's a mindset thing. So you
Speaker 3: could say I'm too fed, I'm too old, I'm to this,
Speaker 3: and then the mindset takes over, and you know, law
Speaker 3: of attraction says what we focus on gross, So I'm like,
Speaker 3: we've got to change your mindset. So I said, we
Speaker 3: got to look at other people like you who are
Speaker 3: getting what you want. So we look at evidence. We
Speaker 3: look at for evidence, whether it's somebody on TV or
Speaker 3: a friend in the group. Like if a fifty five
Speaker 3: year a woman just got married and I said, okay,
Speaker 3: well then why did she get married? She better than you,
Speaker 3: So I have to build their confidence up. After the confidence,
Speaker 3: we then do the makeover and we put them on
Speaker 3: a date, and then I refine them as they go
Speaker 3: because there are men that want women like them. This
Speaker 3: business that men only want younger women is bullshit. I
Speaker 3: only date younger and they're only attracted to me. I
Speaker 3: try to date older. No older men picks me. It's
Speaker 3: always the younger guys.
Speaker 2: I've tried.
Speaker 3: Just trying a guy up. Bonnie's trying is trying to
Speaker 3: fix me up with some money from Miami, because I
Speaker 3: love South Florida because I grew up there. Half the
Speaker 3: time I went to univers to Miami, and the guys
Speaker 3: older than me for the first time because I was
Speaker 3: engaged to someone older, I live with someone younger, and
Speaker 3: that was kind of the turn. Because the men online
Speaker 3: are letting themselves go. The women look fabulous, and you
Speaker 3: look at these pictures. You're like, like, you know, I
Speaker 3: got to go through a thousand people. When AI takes over,
Speaker 3: we will have AI matchmakers and I can retire.
Speaker 1: When you have to deal with an older woman and
Speaker 1: you say makeover, So women of a certain age, like,
Speaker 1: what does that look like?
Speaker 3: Makeover? We're going to do a physical makeover and a
Speaker 3: mental make up. So we're going to do look at
Speaker 3: their physical body. Do they need to lose weight? Do
Speaker 3: they need to work out, they need to change their
Speaker 3: hair color, do they need to put on a dress?
Speaker 3: You know there are people that are like live in
Speaker 3: their house brows, let their gray hair go, and they
Speaker 3: expect a man's going to be attracted at ment or visual.
Speaker 3: There's nothing I can do. I can't change that. We're
Speaker 3: going to make the best version of them, and then
Speaker 3: we're going to do a mental internal makeover of to
Speaker 3: what they're thinking, feeling, re enacting, still stuck on the X,
Speaker 3: still angry at the AX. We have to go through
Speaker 3: forgiveness for the AX and say, doesn't mean you're you're
Speaker 3: condoning his behavior, but you must forgive him because forgiveness
Speaker 3: is for you or you're going to get cancer for.
Speaker 2: The physical makeover piece. Have you put anyone on a
Speaker 2: weight loss drug yet?
Speaker 3: No? But I take tars Okay. So I was on
Speaker 3: a zempic. I was the first one. It was in
Speaker 3: the Wall Street Journal. It's ever Yeah, well they celebrity
Speaker 3: wise because I was willing to talk about it. I
Speaker 3: have no fear talking about anything I do. So I
Speaker 3: was in the Wall Street Journal article and then I
Speaker 3: was on the Hulu documentary. I didn't even know, David
Speaker 3: and I were. I broke the news on David Shows
Speaker 3: show and then everybody was in shock, and I hated
Speaker 3: it got me nauseous to call my doctor. Said this sucks.
Speaker 3: I'm never doing this again. She says, I have a
Speaker 3: better one. She goes, your cholesterol's fine line, you know,
Speaker 3: because I've genetic cholesterol. And I said, I'm gonna put
Speaker 3: you on terror zip Tide.
Speaker 2: I put it on which is that one? That's which
Speaker 2: one is that?
Speaker 3: That's in my journal? But it's the ingredient. It's not
Speaker 3: so I can make the vile go up and down like.
Speaker 2: It's not. But I'm saying it's like that. It's like
Speaker 2: the that's the ingredient.
Speaker 3: It's not. Everybody's got to stop saying they're the same. Okay,
Speaker 3: every single actress and every single person in Hollywood is
Speaker 3: on the drug. It's terror zip Tide because the other
Speaker 3: ones make you sick. Okay, So this is reducing the cholesterol.
Speaker 3: It's burning the fat. A zepicch does not burn fat.
Speaker 3: Zepic just makes you film. This makes you full. It's
Speaker 3: also curing Alzheimer's disease, and it's curing addiction. It's completely different. Drug,
Speaker 3: but I get the vile from my doctor and then
Speaker 3: I can go up and down. So if I don't
Speaker 3: want to go on let'sn't want to go on an
Speaker 3: eating binge for two weeks. I can do that and
Speaker 3: go back, you see, and I'm not going to get sick,
Speaker 3: so I skip weeks. I'm at twenty five units. I'm
Speaker 3: at a very low dose and it's helping my cholesterol
Speaker 3: because I don't want to go on statons.
Speaker 2: So would you put anybody? Would you recommend that to
Speaker 2: any of the like I'm taking me to every single
Speaker 2: or no, I'm saying to people on your show who
Speaker 2: have to do a physical makeover, is it do you
Speaker 2: feel like it's a different world show.
Speaker 3: I didn't do that on the show, but they asked
Speaker 3: me after we filmed what I was on, and I
Speaker 3: told them I wouldn't. That would be that would be
Speaker 3: a c W legal question because I don't hop if
Speaker 3: I can. You know, I don't know what this.
Speaker 2: But I think I'm just thinking about pysical makeovers, physical makeovers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but well I'm Eboddy asked me what I'm on now?
Speaker 2: Today?
Speaker 3: You heard Kelly Clarkson say she's on something by on
Speaker 3: that I don't know if she's on it, but she's
Speaker 3: on something, but she's not on nozempic because everybody gets
Speaker 3: sick on ozempic. I personally think this one is the
Speaker 3: game game changer, and there will be more ones that
Speaker 3: come down the pike. The key is where sugar is
Speaker 3: the secret. Insulin resistant is the problem. But to get
Speaker 3: your cholesterol inline and to burn a fat and not
Speaker 3: eat as much at the party, I don't drink. I'm
Speaker 3: ten years sober because I have headaches. I have the
Speaker 3: same thing Margaret House, okay, and we can't drink and
Speaker 3: so drinking. I tell them, get off, get off drinking.
Speaker 3: You want to feel good, get off drinking, Eat organic foods, okay,
Speaker 3: walk ten thousand steps a day. Like I teach them
Speaker 3: what to do, but what they choose to do is
Speaker 3: a whole different story. I can't make them do it
Speaker 3: because we only have forty two, you know minutes in
Speaker 3: an episode. There are two people and I shoot her
Speaker 3: for three days.
Speaker 2: Yeah's your work. Chemistry with Nick Vial is that he
Speaker 2: say it Viel.
Speaker 3: He's very different than me, and I picked him for
Speaker 3: that reason because I want wanted him to challenge me
Speaker 3: a little bit. He's like Matthew Hussey, you know, he
Speaker 3: went through his boy stage, probably on The Bachelor. He
Speaker 3: picked his wife. She went into his DM. She's quite
Speaker 3: younger than him. She was very worried about it. But
Speaker 3: they're a great couple. They have a gorgeous kid. They're
Speaker 3: perfect for each other. And he is a softer approach.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: There was a moment where I screamed and he squeezed
Speaker 3: my leg and I said, Nick, it's a TV show
Speaker 3: I have to get you know, I'm gonna get readings
Speaker 3: here like this is and I want to scream because
Speaker 3: the guy's an asshole. And Nick's like, oh, can't we
Speaker 3: just be mellow of that? I'm like, now we cannot.
Speaker 3: This is the show.
Speaker 2: And he's adorable.
Speaker 3: He's so cute, handsome, he's kind, and he's all that.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I love that love that. Can I ask about one
Speaker 2: celebrity relationship that just confuses the hell out of me,
Speaker 2: Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater. What is that and will
Speaker 2: it last?
Speaker 3: The rumor is her ex cheated? Oh and so I
Speaker 3: think she needed a best friend to cry on, and
Speaker 3: she is. If you know anything about Wicked, this was
Speaker 3: Arianna Grande's dream of all dreams. When she attends. She
Speaker 3: saw the show She Knows Kristin Adina Forever. She'd a
Speaker 3: special with them and they said, what do you want
Speaker 3: to play? You know, and she wanted to play Glinda.
Speaker 3: I mean it was obvious, but when they gave her
Speaker 3: the role, I think she went so immersed into this
Speaker 3: role that she was husband cheating the rumor. And she
Speaker 3: met Ethan and maybe he wasn't getting along with his wife,
Speaker 3: and they bonded a lot of times. It's not like
Speaker 3: the best looking guy in the room, or it's not
Speaker 3: the you know, smartest guy in the room or whatever
Speaker 3: it is, but there's the friendship factor where they spend
Speaker 3: every day doing X, Y Z, and then the movie's over,
Speaker 3: and then you don't you miss the person that you
Speaker 3: put so much intensity into. It'd be like, okay, it
Speaker 3: doesn't soaking over and you go your separate ways.
Speaker 2: It does it last when you go in just out
Speaker 2: of like a place of like heartache and eating something.
Speaker 3: You know, sometimes your soulmates happened when you're with somebody else.
Speaker 3: Torri and Dean had that. Even though they broke up,
Speaker 3: they were together for years, you know, it's just chemistry.
Speaker 3: But yeah, but the truth is, if I was giving
Speaker 3: advice to anybody, I'd say, chemistry needs to settle down.
Speaker 3: And when you got under the hooded car, is he kind?
Speaker 3: Is he sweet? Is he there for when you need them?
Speaker 3: And if she's getting emotional connection, this is the reason why.
Speaker 3: And I love areas good. Yeah, I'm just I am
Speaker 3: so excited for this movie. It's my favorite show of
Speaker 3: all time. And I'm also a witch. I've been practicing
Speaker 3: witch since I'm sixteen.
Speaker 2: Really, okay, that's a little scary, you know, it's been real.
Speaker 3: I study with Patty Nagri, who's my apprentice and my priestess,
Speaker 3: who's on Ghost you know, Ghost Adventures. She is the
Speaker 3: medium which on that biggest witch in the United States.
Speaker 3: She's one of my best friends. And but I only
Speaker 3: do good things. I'm a white witch.
Speaker 2: I don't say good, good, good good. Listen, we got
Speaker 2: enough problems in Jersey. I am so excited about I'm studying.
Speaker 3: Right now with the Romanian Witches, which are the biggest
Speaker 3: witches in the world. Patty just went to meet with
Speaker 3: them and you can catch them on YouTube and they're amazing.
Speaker 2: And here I thought the biggest witches in the world
Speaker 2: New Jersey, right, So.
Speaker 3: Romanian witches do major witchcraft, dark magic and light magic
Speaker 3: to get rid of ancestral spells, like we all have
Speaker 3: ancestral lineage, and they clean up your vibration and they
Speaker 3: clean up the path so that the next generation doesn't
Speaker 3: repeat the patterns of the sins of the Father. And
Speaker 3: they're fantastic witches. They're working on me right now. They're amazing.
Speaker 2: Give them our number, Let's get them on the pod.
Speaker 3: Them on your show. They're on YouTube. I'll try to
Speaker 3: find them and I'll.
Speaker 2: Say, please do fascinating. Well, congratulations on your new show.
Speaker 2: We are so excited to.
Speaker 3: On your podcast.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you so lovely talking to you and
Speaker 2: meeting you.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I feel like she said a lot
Speaker 2: of things that I'm going to think about in the
Speaker 2: car ride home.
Speaker 1: She was giving us so much so quickly. I couldn't
Speaker 1: almost like start to take it all in absorb it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I still maintain that She'm glad that I'm
Speaker 2: not in the dating pool.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, yeah, me too. She's very she is very charismatic.
Speaker 1: There's something about her that you're just like I. I
Speaker 1: just sort of because I just sort of felt like
Speaker 1: I was in a trance.
Speaker 2: Well, she's very confident, Yes, she's definitely very confident. She's
Speaker 2: got a lot going on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but just you know, a lot of like at
Speaker 1: our age, I feel like, how important is the physical
Speaker 1: make over at this point?
Speaker 2: Does it really matter?
Speaker 1: Question?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Because witchcraft, I know that there's like they're witch Well,
Speaker 2: I'm not judging her. I think it's amazing when you
Speaker 2: find there's because they're like, right, there's witches and that
Speaker 2: they're dark. I think they're involved in like the dark.
Speaker 2: I don't I.
Speaker 1: Don't know if that necessarily means bad magic, but sort
Speaker 1: of like for what it does for me is absolutely nothing.
Speaker 2: I don't. It creeps me out. I have no interest.
Speaker 2: So the only time I would like us to have
Speaker 2: someone on, I think I know that woman Carlton right,
Speaker 2: Carlton Gebbia, I don't know. On Beverly Hills, like eighteen
Speaker 2: seasons ago, she was a witch. I don't know. I
Speaker 2: mean she she did like some kind of I can't
Speaker 2: remember what it was called, but it was some kind
Speaker 2: of witchcraft. Is it witch is psychic? Is that kind
Speaker 2: of the same things? Everybody who can.
Speaker 1: I guess it's somebody who maybe the people that get
Speaker 1: the little things that the people and they put the
Speaker 1: pins in them.
Speaker 2: No, that's voodoo. That's voodoo. Is that a witch?
Speaker 4: Though?
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I don't know. Well, I think
Speaker 2: that's a just it's not nice to do that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't think that's not nice, none of them. That's true.
Speaker 2: I tried exactly, just kidding. Well, anyway, this was wonderful.
Speaker 2: I really enjoyed talking to her. And I want to
Speaker 2: watch the show. So the show, her new show, The Matchmaker,
Speaker 2: is on the c W and Thursdays at eight pm,
Speaker 2: So I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch too.
Speaker 2: I'm actually very excited about it. And uh yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: John Fessler, all right, you guys.
Speaker 1: Jackie Goldschneider, you guys, thanks for listening. As always, we
Speaker 1: appreciate you.
Speaker 2: See you next time.