1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. Well, 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: we have a lot to discuss. Um the band is 3 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 1: back together. There was a reason why Katherine was not 4 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 1: on the last few episodes. It was because she's in love. 5 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: She doesn't get who knows it and she needed some 6 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 1: time to go through that. Uh, Katherine, why don't you 7 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,639 Speaker 1: just take the floor, Katherine? Is it someone we know? Yeah, 8 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: tell us you're in love and we want to know 9 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: who it is. Give us a clue. Let's let's play 10 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,480 Speaker 1: the like, let's play the guessing game. Who is Cat 11 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 1: in love with? Is it someone you met on Hinge? 12 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: Absolutely not? Also Hinge lasted all of Like, does he 13 00:00:54,880 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: have any kids? He does? Oh? Does he have one kid? Nope? 14 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: Two kids? Does he have three? Yes? Yes? Three? Does 15 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: he want more kids? Absolutely not. Is that part of 16 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: the reason that you're in love with him? It's actually scheduled? 17 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: Oh really? Oh yeah? Wow? Okay, so there's a great 18 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: amount of intimacy in your relationship. Well we have to 19 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: worry about snipping. Well, that's great that we've become intimate 20 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 1: with who y'all are so funny? Okay, So Nick and 21 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: I are not getting divorced. Some people here have called it. 22 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: You know. Also, how many times did I say are 23 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: you sure? Are you sure? Because everyone thinks that I'm 24 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: like the reason, like the chat's blowing up, wow yeah um, 25 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: because it's like literally everyone was like she just wanted 26 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: to be single, Janna Janna as the reason because she 27 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: just likes miserable people, like she wants to be miserable 28 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: without people. And I'm like, y'all, I'm like, after every 29 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: like after the more work you've done, I'm like, Kavin, 30 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: are you sure? Are you sure you don't want to 31 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: be back together with Nick? Like? And the funny thing 32 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: about it is like I really kept towards the end 33 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: a lot of that to myself, a lot of it, 34 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: like we didn't even talk about it that much, like 35 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: right in the beginning though I did though for sure, 36 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: I'm saying before like making the decision, when people are 37 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: like you like convinced me or whatever, it's like we 38 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: didn't even really divorced about it. Yeah, I know. That's 39 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 1: why I was like, well, I remember when you came 40 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: over and I was like what, yeah, Like, I mean 41 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: through the years, I wish and discussed, but yeah, I 42 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:40,519 Speaker 1: just didn't really talk to anybody about it. It was 43 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: like me and my therapist, you know, so whatever to 44 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 1: those people. But those people call people miserable as they 45 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: sit behind their keyboards and have opinions about everybody as 46 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:56,399 Speaker 1: his life. Yeah, but anyway to shame. So anyway. Yeah, So, um, 47 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: long story short, Um, about a month and a half ago, month, 48 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: a little over a month ago. UM, we just kind 49 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: of started working on things. You know, long story short. 50 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: I won't go into all the details, but um, obviously 51 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: everyone knows a lot of our issues, you know, stemmed 52 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 1: around me and my lack of vulnerability, vulnerability and intimacy, 53 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: and that's just something I knew I had to work on. Um. 54 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: And as I was starting to kind of work on 55 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,839 Speaker 1: myself and a lot of prayer, praying about it a lot, 56 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: a lot, UM, I just kind of kept going back 57 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: to him like he was my safe place, and I 58 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I have to start here. You know, 59 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: there's things I need to say to him. Even if 60 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: you were to not get back to kind yeah, there 61 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: was not. At first. That wasn't the goal. Yeah, the 62 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: goal was just to open up, tell him how I felt. 63 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: In the beginning, it was like we're getting divorced, after 64 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: fifteen years, and I need to tell him. I think 65 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: he's a great dad. I think that he did was 66 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: a great husband, you know those things. But as it 67 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: kind of went on and I was able to like 68 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: dig into my emotions, it's like I realized like that 69 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: I didn't want to lose him, you know, that he 70 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: was my best friend. I just wasn't a too open 71 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: up and I needed to work on that. So I 72 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: started to work on that. But it just happened to 73 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: be that I wanted to work on it with him, 74 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: you know, And so it just kind of overtime. So 75 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: I mean we were sneaking around because we don't want 76 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: we didn't tell our kids. So it was like, you know, 77 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: he had a rental and I had my house. Like 78 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: we were literally like sneaking, Like he got a rental car. 79 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: I was like chool. I felt like high school, but 80 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: I never even did that and called a sack. I 81 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: didn't either. I just said that I didn't do that 82 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: in high school. Either. Had fun at thirty eight, but 83 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: like we went on, I planned like a little vacation 84 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: at the beginning, or just like a night out and 85 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: I was like, wait, do we even get to ride together? 86 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,160 Speaker 1: Like where do I put my car? And we were 87 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: going to meet at this one place, but like the 88 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: whole town was there, so it's like we can't go there. 89 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: We don't do town stuff. So we went to a 90 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 1: gas station outside of town, parked my car, met and drove. 91 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: You know, So but what have fun? Like so fun? Yeah, 92 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: and falling in love all her again. Yeah, when I 93 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 1: think to like, I remember one of the times when 94 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 1: it came over as a friend. My god, I don't 95 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: know that, but like I remember him being like Catherine 96 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: was vulnerably vulnerable with me for the first time, and 97 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, Nick, I'm like, well maybe y'all can you 98 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 1: know And he's like no, He's like I don't think. 99 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: He was like I don't know, but I'm like, like 100 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: you were opening up, like he was like welcoming the 101 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: opening up, and I'm just like, I don't know. There's 102 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 1: always a piece of me that actually it was just 103 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 1: like that's why I kept saying, like I'm sure there's 104 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: nothing there, like you don't mean to try because it's 105 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: like he's because it's like you kept saying that he's 106 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: my best friend, and I'm like, then what is the problem, right? So, yeah, 107 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: you just need to. I mean like, yeah, well yeah, 108 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: but I think it was the intendency block, right, Like 109 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: I'll never forget you saying that to me. And You're like, 110 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 1: well do you think you could? And I was like nope, 111 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 1: and I just shut down. I just put my wall back. 112 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: I remember. I remember literally like I can't even talk 113 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: about it. Um yeah, we're like as not as no. 114 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: I was like, I love it. Speak time I talked 115 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: about it, I would absolutely tear up. But I'm learning now. 116 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,559 Speaker 1: I guess it's just I know it. I'm very aware 117 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: of it when I do it again. I remember in 118 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: the car, just like shut it down, you know. And 119 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: so that's what I always did in our marriage, and 120 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: so I mean, honestly, I know it sounds very cliche, 121 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 1: but like I literally just get up every morning and 122 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,840 Speaker 1: I say the same prayer every morning, and it's just 123 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: like it's a day by day thing for me. Just 124 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: to keep my heart heart open is the biggest thing. 125 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: And to just keep you know, pursuing it and showing up. 126 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: I mean I think that that's always There were always 127 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 1: things that I knew I should do, that would pop 128 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: into my head that I should say all those things 129 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: and I just didn't do it. You know, we were 130 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,039 Speaker 1: just so far just like in our corners that I 131 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: didn't do it and he didn't. You know, he gave 132 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,720 Speaker 1: up to It's like we both kind of gave up. Um, 133 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: so anyway, so yeah, so now it's just like, so, 134 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,719 Speaker 1: what does the road look like now? You know, we 135 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: did tell the kids, so the kids are aware. Um, 136 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: they were definitely starting to pick up on it. You 137 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 1: know when we told them. My thirteen year old was 138 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: like I knew it, you know. So I mean like 139 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: so yeah, um, and what a inspiring thing for them 140 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: to witness to. Yeah, that's what I'm like. That was like, 141 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: I can't I was how happy were they? I can't 142 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 1: imagine liked story the video. I have a video and 143 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: an the best because I mean she cried throughout the day. 144 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: I mean it was the sweetest thing. And she's constantly 145 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: like that makes me want to cry. She yeah, I 146 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: mean she's constantly even now she's like, hey go his dad, 147 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: Hey go hold his hand, hey go, Like she just 148 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: so badly wanted to see affection, you know. Um. It's 149 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: such good groundwork for them that before you go to 150 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: the next thing, I just want to say something I 151 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: just wrote downside and forget it. I when I was 152 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: looking on Instagram, I was like, I noticed, by the way, However, 153 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: fifteen years that i've known you and Nick together, I've 154 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: never seen your hand on his shoulder, arm and leg. 155 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: And I was like, who crap. I was like Cat 156 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: put her hand on his shoulder at the football game 157 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: physical I was like, go, girl, go. I ran into 158 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: them at a birthday party on Sunday and I was like, well, 159 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: look who it is on the love seat, literally like 160 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: real side touching close. I mean I usually used to 161 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: make my skin crawl. That sounds terrible, but that's what 162 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: Mike was. He'd be like, every time you touched me, 163 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: my skin crawls. And I'm like, oh, it feels really 164 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: good for you to say that. It sounds terrible, but 165 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: it's it's hard to explain it, truly, it's hard to explain. 166 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: So is the road trying to figure out where the 167 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 1: intimacy block comes or like what is like we've hit 168 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: I think we've destroyed the intimacy block from my understand Honestly, 169 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: I think I was just able to. It started with 170 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: just a very vulnerable conversation and it was hard and 171 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: it was not easy to have that conversation. But once 172 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 1: I was able to, and I literally broke down. I'll 173 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: just be honest, like complete breakdown. At this point, I 174 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: have nothing thing to lose kind of thing, you know, 175 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: then it was just easier. Um. You know, of course, 176 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: I you know, I think that's always going to be 177 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: a part of me, and I think I'm always going 178 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,560 Speaker 1: to have to constantly work at it. Um. And he's 179 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 1: aware of that, and we have a lot of conversation 180 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: about it. But I'm just you know, like sometimes I 181 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: don't even notice it when I'm touching him. Now sometimes 182 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: I have to tell myself to do it. It's kind 183 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,599 Speaker 1: of a mix, and I think that's okay to like 184 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 1: I remember, like with Mike, it's like he's like I 185 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: have to physically like touch her leg. And as hard 186 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 1: as it is for like me to like be like, well, 187 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: why wouldn't you want to, It's like I know that 188 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: he's like trying, and I think that's all Nick probably 189 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: wants to. It's just like the effort put in where 190 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: like the effort was lost, you know, well it becomes 191 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: just like a habit over eventually, yeah, where you're just 192 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: become business partners essentially a room exactly, and that's the 193 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 1: tricky part because the undoing of that is so frustrating 194 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: and long and hope lost. Yeah, and I think, you know, 195 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 1: it's it's interesting because, you know, I definitely choosing to 196 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: not regret the road that we took to get there. Um, 197 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 1: I'm definitely seeing as it's all was blessed and it 198 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 1: needed to happen that way. I think I had to 199 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: get out of the situation and be broken to be 200 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: able to like fix you know, what was broken essentially. Um, 201 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: so I don't even regret that. You know. I was 202 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: a little worried with the kids, like do I need 203 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 1: to say I'm sorry that we put you through this? 204 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah. But it's like they're just happy, 205 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: you know. And then they also saw us happy together, 206 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: so it was you know, even so I think it's 207 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,719 Speaker 1: beautiful because they see all working like that's like what 208 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: they should see is like you guys working towards it. 209 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 1: Because again, it's not good for them just to see 210 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: happy parents never fighting, right, It's not good just to 211 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: see them fighting all the time. So it's like to 212 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 1: show the like work and the commitment like, I think 213 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: that's like what they should see now. If it was 214 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: we're gonna get divorced again and three and then again 215 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 1: and back and forth like that back and forth would 216 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: be a lot on them. But like, you know, and 217 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 1: that's why we waited, you know, we wanted you know, 218 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 1: because that first week or so, it was very every 219 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,719 Speaker 1: conversation was if we do this, if we do this, 220 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,199 Speaker 1: and there was just like a point where it just 221 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,959 Speaker 1: kind of flipped. You know, I can't even explain it, 222 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,319 Speaker 1: but it just kind of flipped. It's like, we're doing this, 223 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: you know, but we have to protect the kids. But 224 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: because you know, at the end of the day, my 225 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: whole thing was breaking the cycle because my parents did 226 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:19,079 Speaker 1: not show affection. They had the same issues. I just 227 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 1: had to make a decision on which way I was 228 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,839 Speaker 1: going to break the cycle. And it was either we 229 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 1: get out of this and then we go get other 230 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: relationships and they're going to have to be healthy to 231 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 1: show them. And then once I was out of it, 232 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 1: I was like, I have to fix this no matter what, 233 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: you know, and I'd rather do it with him and 234 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: then go back and show him them what a healthy 235 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:41,439 Speaker 1: relationship should look like. So I mean, really big, giant, 236 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:46,839 Speaker 1: inspiring work. And I love personally that it happened the 237 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: way it did for any like validation you may need 238 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: from what a kid sees. I don't for some reason 239 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 1: that that like the separation and you two learning yourselves 240 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: enough and who's you are and then to come back 241 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: to each other like that really is. That's like, that's 242 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 1: the redemption story. That's huge. And let me say to y'all, 243 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: I didn't even know it, but I found out later 244 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 1: that um my ten year old Emmy and another person 245 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,079 Speaker 1: in our not immediate family, but in our family had 246 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: been praying together for us to get back together like often, 247 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: and so it's such a cool thing to be to 248 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 1: show her like, look like your prayers were answered, you 249 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 1: talked to God, you asked a very specific thing, and 250 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: it happened, and may not have happened, you know, or 251 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: if it didn't happen, like, but it was just a 252 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 1: good time. It's a good thing to really show her. 253 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: And I think it's been like really great for her 254 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: because she's like, wow, like it really worked, you know. 255 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,439 Speaker 1: And I think it's like a good like sometimes you 256 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:50,559 Speaker 1: don't know what you have, but also like until you 257 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 1: lose it. You know. It's like I think not that 258 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: you ever like took Nick for grien or something like that, 259 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,079 Speaker 1: but like it's like you realize, like, well he was 260 00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 1: my best friend and he was like sometimes you don't 261 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: realize those things until like you lose it, like and 262 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: then again, like you're saying, like, no matter what, you're 263 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 1: gonna have to work on yourself, whether it's with Nick, 264 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: whether it's with the guy from Hinge, like you know 265 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: what I mean, like whoever it is. And I think 266 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: it's like that's the same thing. Like you know, I 267 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 1: think we can all attest to that, like things within 268 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: your marriage, things with me dating. I'm like, all right, 269 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 1: like I have to change some stuff where I'm gonna 270 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 1: keep picking the same I'm gonna keep doing the same thing. 271 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,839 Speaker 1: And it's like it's like we have we have to 272 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 1: work on ourselves. It's not about the other persons about ourselves. 273 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: And you find this shopping. But I'm not super affectionate, 274 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,439 Speaker 1: so you told me that, I know, And so I 275 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,079 Speaker 1: just don't want you to feel alone in that, like 276 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,959 Speaker 1: I have to sometimes, which I think would be unexpecting 277 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:43,199 Speaker 1: from people that would listen to me. So I'm not 278 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: like I am with the kids excessively, like they're going 279 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,839 Speaker 1: to need a therapist for opposite reasons that I did. 280 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 1: But like I'm not super affectionate with Preston enough either, 281 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: and so I've had to work on that because I'm 282 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 1: severely independent, and when I'm learning from Amy, our mutual therapist, 283 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: is that my severe independence once was my survival tactic, 284 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: but I don't need it anymore. And so I was 285 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 1: going to ask you if that was but I didn't 286 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,319 Speaker 1: want to purchect if you will without a doubt that 287 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: was me. But like I don't have to be Christen 288 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 1: from Michigan all the time in that way like heart, 289 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 1: you know, like I toughen up and I can take 290 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 1: care of myself. But it's like, but I can also 291 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: just be like, hey that hurt my feelings or hey 292 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 1: I need this. And what's interesting is in a relationship 293 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: sometimes somebody needs to know that they're needed. Very elementary. 294 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 1: But for some reason I missed the memo that it 295 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 1: served us when we needed it to serve us, and 296 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 1: in our lifestyle, my lifestyle at home, it does serve 297 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: me because he's gone so much that me being independent 298 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: and handling life and you know, being mom and dad 299 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 1: when I need to be a husband and wife when 300 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: I need to be is like okay, but I'm also 301 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: working on that well. Because independence, I've I've learned can 302 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: be a positive and such a negative. It can be 303 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: both and it's just learning arts, yeah for sure, but yeah, 304 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: absolut there's so much about independence that keeps serving me. 305 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 1: But there's a lot of things I can just lay 306 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 1: down and honestly, it was exhausting still using independence and 307 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: pieces of that. You know what's like interesting too, like 308 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,040 Speaker 1: just like hearing that and reflecting on it. Is like 309 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 1: when I when there's someone that likes me, I'm actually 310 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 1: not as affectionate, but like I'm more affectionate to those 311 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: that like I feel like I have to like oh 312 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: like proving, like proving or like to like chase to 313 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: to chase like those people I'm more affectionate with. And 314 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: the guys that like I know that would want to 315 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 1: be with me, it's like, oh no, like this because 316 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 1: it feels foreign, foreign to have the guys actually like 317 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: showing me affection Like no joke. Flowers showed up in 318 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 1: my house and I was like, who are these from? 319 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like this must be before 320 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: my grandpa. Like that guy doesn't send flowers, you know, 321 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 1: so good guys do send flower But it's like I 322 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: see that I'm just saying like that. I was like, 323 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 1: oh my gosh. I was like, I'm actually not as 324 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: touchy with people that like, because it's like it's scary 325 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 1: in like foreign. Yeah. I think the fear of rejection. 326 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: If I went back through all my relationships and saw 327 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: I really dated some winners, um, but there was so 328 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 1: many like hurtful comments that I think my vulnerability got 329 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 1: shut out a little bit. And I was like, well, 330 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 1: I'll just guard myself then, because clearly you guys can't 331 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 1: take care of me. And then I made it a 332 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: gender wide pandemic in my brain. So then I was like, 333 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: none of them can be trusted. And then God gave me. 334 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: God gave me legend, my son, and I was like, well, 335 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 1: now here's a turn of events on plot twist, because 336 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to have to learn how to love this 337 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear the messages you get about 338 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: me saying that, but like, I'm gonna have to learn 339 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 1: to love this gender so much more differently and fullhearted. No, 340 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 1: I mean they're not all lumped together anymore. I had 341 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 1: to start picking them apart. You know, well I meant, 342 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 1: I mean truly, I mean, and again, I don't want 343 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 1: you to think like nothing is rainbows and butterflies, Like 344 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: you're going to have hard times in your marriage. You're 345 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 1: gonna have hard times, like you're gonna have great times. 346 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 1: You're gonna amazing times. And it's like no matter what, 347 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 1: like we all go through struggles and you guys, you know, 348 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,200 Speaker 1: worked it out and that's amazing, like truly, like that's 349 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 1: like we don't get to pick how how it's broken 350 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: apart sometimes to be healed. Yeah, I just think that's great. 351 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,200 Speaker 1: And even when like in your healing and you're still 352 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,479 Speaker 1: like having to go like, oh this is like it's okay, 353 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: Like you're not like it's not going to be like 354 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: we have the best marriage ever. It's okay. You still 355 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: have like moments of like struggle and hard times. And 356 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 1: I think that's a lot of people why people piece 357 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 1: out so fast is because it's like, you know, you 358 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: just and it's like because I mean, frick, as much 359 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 1: as I would have loved to have pieced out, like 360 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 1: the first time I heard about Mike cheating and like 361 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: at the same time, it's like did the work to try? 362 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: And it's like sometimes like you try and you try 363 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 1: and you try, and it's like then you realize, like, okay, 364 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,119 Speaker 1: it's not working, and it's like for y'all, it's like 365 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 1: you you guys chose to like you're trying together, and 366 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 1: like that's beautiful no matter what, like and you can 367 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,119 Speaker 1: know regardless, like how that's a thing, like you know 368 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: that you try because I think and this is what 369 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 1: I had said to you, And I was like, I 370 00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:58,840 Speaker 1: I said, I think bee this, I said this so 371 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 1: nick to and so but I I was always fearful 372 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: that you were going to regret leaving because you didn't 373 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: try wholeheartedly. And I don't please, don't take that like no, 374 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,560 Speaker 1: it's the first thing I said. When I sat down 375 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 1: with him, I started bawling and I was like, I 376 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 1: don't feel like I tried. It was like there was 377 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,920 Speaker 1: there was two hard looking. I needed to make a 378 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,480 Speaker 1: decision because I'm a person that can't sit in that 379 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,360 Speaker 1: gray and I'm just like, I have to make a decision. 380 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: This is hard and this is hard. Which hard am 381 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 1: I going to choose? And I just chose that one 382 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: and then realized, wait a minute, I still have to 383 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 1: do the other hard for myself, you know. So yeah, no, 384 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,119 Speaker 1: you're right. That's literally the first thing I said. And 385 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: I think even in the trying, like Janna is saying, 386 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 1: when you try, even in the in the very least, 387 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,959 Speaker 1: you're still going to meet yourself somewhere you've never met 388 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 1: yourself before. So even if it doesn't work relationship wise, 389 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 1: you're still gaining momentum on yourself in your own coming 390 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 1: back to yourself and all of it anyway, and now 391 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 1: you'll know like you did everything, you tried everything, and 392 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: you know, and don't feel like a failure if it's 393 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 1: you know, who knows, like we just don't know, Like 394 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,399 Speaker 1: it's like as long as like that's why I was 395 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: so not easy for me to because it as hard 396 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: as hell to walk away. But I was also like, 397 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,400 Speaker 1: I try everything, and I can rest in my head 398 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,160 Speaker 1: like I can you know, you left nothing on the field. 399 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: But but if I would have left six years ago, 400 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 1: I would have been like, I wonder if we could 401 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 1: have made it work, like I really, But then there's 402 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: also like some you know, so as I'm just saying, like, no, 403 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: matter what, Like, I'm proud of you for trying. Thank you, 404 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:31,400 Speaker 1: And honestly I understand your point of view more now 405 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,239 Speaker 1: because I think in the very beginning, we're like, why 406 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,879 Speaker 1: aren't you leaving? I'm like, but now I see that 407 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, that regret and not that I necessarily 408 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: was sitting in this place of regret, but you might have. Doubly, 409 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: I think it would have caught up to you. Certainty 410 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 1: turns in the regret. I think if you don't get 411 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 1: certain about it, whatever way, you can understand why you 412 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,320 Speaker 1: had to be able to say I tried everything. Yeah, 413 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: like I totally understand that now. I honestly think scar 414 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,520 Speaker 1: tissue in a relationship is hot. I think it's beautiful 415 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: and I think like a favorite, like I wish my 416 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 1: X and I like could have been the like that 417 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: could have been our redemption story story. But it's beautiful 418 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,920 Speaker 1: scar tissue. We do like stunning scar tissue, a lot 419 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: of it, But you really do. I mean, but you 420 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: fought the good fight, no pun intended, but like, I 421 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: don't forget to buy that book because it still matters. 422 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 1: And my part was don't read the trust because that 423 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 1: was all a lie. But it's to tell the truth. 424 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,879 Speaker 1: Let me tell you what all of that was a lie? Anyways, 425 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 1: it was opposite day. I just feel like, but like 426 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,680 Speaker 1: you really did, like your scar tissue matters, because Jason 427 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 1: Jolie have a scar tissue to fall back on. They 428 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 1: saw two people go for it as hard as hard 429 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,399 Speaker 1: as they could. They didn't see either. But anyways, moving on, 430 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,399 Speaker 1: we all have good therapists and great. I think that 431 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 1: there's redemption stories for every marriage. Whether it stays that's 432 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, or gets back together, y'all will have 433 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: a redemption story each of you. I'm excited. Thanks. Yeah, 434 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 1: it's amazing. And I came out of came out of 435 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,639 Speaker 1: the bathroom and I was like baby cat Nick her 436 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: fighting together, and He's like, halleluja. Knew it was gonna happen. 437 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,159 Speaker 1: It's so funny how many people said that. Yeah. It's 438 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,880 Speaker 1: also interesting like when you get divorced, how many people 439 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,280 Speaker 1: you here go like, oh I saw that comment, or man, 440 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,600 Speaker 1: I don't know how you guys made it work. And 441 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 1: then like to hear people say that about getting guy together. 442 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 1: People saw that coming together. Okay, well we are about 443 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,199 Speaker 1: to get Jesse James Decker on. She's killing it right 444 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: now and dancing with the stars, so let's get her 445 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 1: on Jesse. You're in the dance studio. Hey, girls, let 446 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: me do full screen here. You look gor I know 447 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 1: what is happening. God, thanks, I'm exhausted. Um yeah, you've been. 448 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 1: I mean obviously, because I feel like even when we 449 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,920 Speaker 1: ran into each other, I don't know, a month or 450 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,400 Speaker 1: so ago, You're like, I'm just all over the place, 451 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,640 Speaker 1: and then you started texting me, You're like what about 452 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 1: Like I was like, who is your hair person? Was 453 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,440 Speaker 1: dancing the stars? And like what she questions? And I 454 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 1: was like, what's going on? Tell me everything? Um, but 455 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,640 Speaker 1: were you hesitant to do the show? So the only 456 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,639 Speaker 1: reason why I was hesitant would just be like the 457 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:28,280 Speaker 1: time commitment, because you know we're I mean, you all 458 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,760 Speaker 1: know we're mothers and so like you've got kids, and 459 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,680 Speaker 1: that's the first thing that pops to my mind, is like, 460 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,879 Speaker 1: how the heck am I supposed to balance this? Because 461 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 1: our kids conversed and so I think I needed to 462 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 1: understand the schedule. And as soon as I was told 463 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: I was going to be able to practice and rehearse 464 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,880 Speaker 1: in Nashville, that was a game changer for me because 465 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,199 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's always been like that, right, Um, 466 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: you know you you definitely could. I mean I remember 467 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 1: um when I did. I did most of mine um 468 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,399 Speaker 1: in l A. But the problem is I was touring 469 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,159 Speaker 1: to just like you know, you're doing shows you and 470 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,920 Speaker 1: I think you know, we, Katherine, you know, had to 471 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 1: cancel a bunch of shows because towards the end of it, 472 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:09,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't keep doing shows and rehearsal and 473 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,080 Speaker 1: be a mom. I'm like, I'm like, I don't even 474 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: like and now I feel like I almost have a 475 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 1: shot at it. So I'm like, so we started to 476 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 1: cancel shows because it just got just um emotional, I 477 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,879 Speaker 1: mean emotionally but like physically, I mean all of it 478 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: just like a lot. And then traveling you throw a 479 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,680 Speaker 1: flying and I don't know about y'all, but like I 480 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 1: I know people that can get on planes and then 481 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,480 Speaker 1: get right back to business. It sucks the life out 482 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 1: of me flying. It just drains me. And so you 483 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: throw that in there and it's like but yeah, So 484 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:38,680 Speaker 1: as soon as I was asked to do what, I 485 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 1: was like, I need to figure out what it is 486 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,480 Speaker 1: that I need to keep and what I can move 487 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 1: and who will be cool with me moving some of 488 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,440 Speaker 1: these things around and some of these shows, because it 489 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 1: is You're right, like, it's hard to do everything and 490 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,920 Speaker 1: juggle everything at once. Where do you think emotionally you 491 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 1: are going into week three? I feel like I am 492 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,159 Speaker 1: more positive this week. Last week I was a little like, 493 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,639 Speaker 1: oh man, like, I don't I don't know how week like, 494 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 1: I felt like week one and the first dance was 495 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,959 Speaker 1: so great, and then you know, the scores didn't totally 496 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 1: reflect that, so I was like, dang, I don't I 497 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 1: don't know. I'm not a dancer, so I don't know 498 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,440 Speaker 1: what's good and what's not good. So for me, I 499 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 1: thought it was good, but I guess it wasn't. I 500 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,800 Speaker 1: don't know. And then week two I went into it 501 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 1: more serious and just not as confident because I'm like, okay, 502 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: like I better straighten my legs, I better do all 503 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,439 Speaker 1: these things. Now, going into a week three, I'm feeling 504 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 1: really positive. I think about it. Everything that you've said, 505 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 1: Jannah has been that. I refer to your little Dancing 506 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 1: with the Stars calendar that you've given me, and you 507 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 1: so because I literally said he I was like, okay, 508 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,719 Speaker 1: you're going to go through a wave of motions. Week one, 509 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,400 Speaker 1: it's gonna be fun, but then you're not gonnat the scores. 510 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: Then you're gonna be like depressed, and like week four 511 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 1: you're like you're gonna want to quit. And then like 512 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 1: week said so, you get your best score ever, and 513 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,440 Speaker 1: then it's like so much fun. And it's like because 514 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 1: they put you and then like that's that's the whole 515 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: point too, like they're putting. They're not gonna give you 516 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,360 Speaker 1: like all eight or all nines. And and then it's 517 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 1: also hard to when you see these people that are 518 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 1: really good or the head dance before and you're like, 519 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,199 Speaker 1: well that's not fair, like I've never danced a day 520 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 1: in my life. And but it's like but then they're 521 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,440 Speaker 1: going to give them low score. Like you just watch 522 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,160 Speaker 1: like it's it's all going to start like to turn, 523 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,639 Speaker 1: because then then they're going to be harder on you, 524 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 1: harder on them, and then they'll be better on you. 525 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 1: And it's like which week do you fight with your partner? 526 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 1: I think me it's just like anyone that you're forming 527 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:34,560 Speaker 1: a partnership with or um a friendship, anything, there's there's 528 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,919 Speaker 1: always going to be those getting to know each other 529 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 1: kinks speaking of my party, keeping to know each other 530 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,440 Speaker 1: things that you work through and it's like, you know, 531 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 1: and I feel like we've done that really well. You know, 532 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,879 Speaker 1: last week we really got to know each other on 533 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 1: it on even more so, and I just feel like 534 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 1: we really are understanding one another, and I just think 535 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,879 Speaker 1: it makes for an even better partnership. Where do you 536 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 1: think that you guys uh kind of bad? You know, 537 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,719 Speaker 1: um butt heads a little bit when it comes to training. 538 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: He's just very passionate and I love that and I 539 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 1: understand passion. I come from a really passionate family. I 540 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 1: think the only time is like I just so it 541 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 1: takes me a little longer to grasp certain things. So 542 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 1: all I asked, where just a little grace period to 543 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 1: like understand what I'm doing. Um, but I really think 544 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,760 Speaker 1: that we're working through those things. And it's like I 545 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 1: have a pep in my step these last couple of 546 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 1: days because I really feel like we're finding our way together. Um, 547 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 1: who is your best friend on the show like dancing 548 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:39,920 Speaker 1: partner wise? Like that's that's on the show, Celeberty. I 549 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 1: don't know yet. There's certain people you see more because 550 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,880 Speaker 1: I guess you're kind of in like a pod system. Um, 551 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: and so I feel like there's certain people that you 552 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,879 Speaker 1: see consistently because they're dancing the same time of rehearsing 553 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: the same time you. So I think I see Charlie 554 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 1: and she Angela more than anyone, and so we I 555 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: feel like I always chatted up and catch up with 556 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 1: Mark and Charlie probably more than anyone because we seem 557 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: to practice and rehearse the same time. And she's just 558 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,760 Speaker 1: so I love that, you know, she's and she's amazing too. 559 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 1: I'm like so many people like incredible. When I watched 560 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,879 Speaker 1: the show, I was like, oh, man, like I would like, 561 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 1: there's so many good dancers too on the show. Everyone seriously, 562 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: like half of the squad is so incredible. I'm sitting 563 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,680 Speaker 1: there like with my mouth on the ground, being like, 564 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,120 Speaker 1: oh my god, they're so good. But they're like they 565 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 1: look professional, like from a thirty thou feet perspective. To me, 566 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,760 Speaker 1: you fit there like it was but I mean that 567 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 1: like truly though, Like it wasn't like one of those 568 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,120 Speaker 1: I was like, oh okay, you know, like because I mean, listen, 569 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,600 Speaker 1: if they tried to cast me with Dancing the Stars. 570 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 1: You and you guys would feel really good about yourself. 571 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 1: But it's like it just feels to me like a 572 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,600 Speaker 1: natural fit. So I feel like it's good that you 573 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 1: feel positive this week because you should be because you 574 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 1: you're meant to be there, and you should be there. 575 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 1: You're a little booty shaker j j D. Let's not pretend. Well, 576 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 1: thank you. I man, it's funny because you feel like 577 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 1: you're a good dancer. Like growing up, there's I've always 578 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,200 Speaker 1: feel like I had rhythm, but you come into this 579 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: and you were humbled immediately going. You might have natural rhythm, 580 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: but like learning steps is a whole other level. Like Jenny, 581 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 1: you made it look so easy and so effortless, Like 582 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 1: I watched and I remember just thinking, like you you 583 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,240 Speaker 1: just made it look so easy, girl. I was the 584 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,920 Speaker 1: ice on your ribs. It was so hard. I mean that. 585 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 1: And that's you know, when I said to you, I'm like, 586 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 1: oh my god, that was a note. I was got 587 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:34,480 Speaker 1: to like, you know, stronger legs, stronger legs. I mean, 588 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,399 Speaker 1: Glad would just be like yelling at I mean like 589 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 1: I am literally doing the best I can, like and 590 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: I don't remember, and I'm sorry and I told you, like, 591 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 1: it wasn't until like the maybe the day before where 592 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, it's starting to click. You know. It's 593 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 1: like it's hard. But I mean at the same time, 594 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: like I told you to like just have fun because 595 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: it goes by so fast, And that is something that 596 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,040 Speaker 1: I've really tried to think, even though we're only going 597 00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: into week three, I've really tried to step in and go, Okay, 598 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 1: remember to have fun. Jass, Like, I don't want to 599 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 1: walk away from this and be like I should have 600 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 1: enjoyed it more because I was so stressed out. Like 601 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:10,560 Speaker 1: it is stressful, it is so hard. You're challenging yourself. 602 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 1: You're putting yourself in a situation you never have before, 603 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 1: so it is heavy on you. But I do think 604 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 1: about what you say every time. I, like Jama said 605 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 1: to remember to just like enjoy myself. So I'm really 606 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,720 Speaker 1: trying to do it because I wish I could go 607 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 1: back like that's how and like and just truly have 608 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,920 Speaker 1: fun with it and like and know that like your 609 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: kids will be okay. They're always going to be okay. 610 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,680 Speaker 1: They've got you know, an amazing you have an amazing husband, 611 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 1: amazing they have amazing dad, and it's like they're one 612 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,760 Speaker 1: of the things that the two I love when I 613 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,479 Speaker 1: went to your show at the Rhyme and like your 614 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 1: kids are watching you, like live your dreams and be 615 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,160 Speaker 1: this boss ass babe, and like you know and just 616 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: like run companies, kittenish and all these other things that 617 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 1: you do. It's like you are showing your children like 618 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 1: how to be like this amazing independent, strong woman and 619 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,040 Speaker 1: loving and nurturing and like like you come home and 620 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,479 Speaker 1: like you're cooking them the soup, and I'm like, how 621 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,720 Speaker 1: does she find the time? Like I'm microwaving chicken nuggets, 622 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 1: like I'm just laying the recipes already in a book 623 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:11,320 Speaker 1: because she did that too, and damn it, just how 624 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 1: is she doing this? And it's like you are showing 625 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:15,880 Speaker 1: it like your kids like just like I know, like 626 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 1: you probably miss them right now and you want to 627 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,800 Speaker 1: be with them, but it's like you like they they 628 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 1: are watching you, and you are giving them more from 629 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 1: doing what you're doing than, like, you know, than being 630 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 1: in their face for sure. And I have to keep 631 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 1: in mind. Another friend told my book, this is a 632 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: blimped time this time and like it may feel so 633 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,200 Speaker 1: long now but it's not. And so I do keep 634 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,360 Speaker 1: trying to tell myself that because like you, Jana, I'm 635 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 1: in it. I'm freaking in it and I want to work, 636 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 1: but I'm like I'm in it with with my kids 637 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: and it's it's the most important thing to me in 638 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 1: the whole world. But I do have to remember, like 639 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 1: it's okay to do something for myself and try something 640 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,840 Speaker 1: new and challenge myself in a different way, like this 641 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 1: is for me, this is for me to go. I'm 642 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: putting myself out of a comfort zone and exhausting something 643 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,440 Speaker 1: that I've never done and it's okay, and it's like 644 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,360 Speaker 1: something I'm gonna be proud of one day when i 645 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 1: step away from all this going, I can't believe I 646 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 1: did that and I'm proud of myself for that, and 647 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 1: it's like good for you. Yeah, I feel like we 648 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: all need to do that, like I'll step out of 649 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: something like That's why, Like Jess, I know we can't 650 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 1: say the show, but like we both got asked to 651 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,320 Speaker 1: do a show, and I'm like, man, I want to 652 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 1: do this because it would be so out of my 653 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 1: comfort zone because I always stay in like like even yes, 654 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: I'm driving on the expressway now, but I'm staying on 655 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 1: the right lane. I don't get into the middle lanes 656 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 1: like I stay in my comfort zone, like lane over 657 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 1: Cramer Beef. It's like, I'm like, girl, we got places 658 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:38,640 Speaker 1: to go, and I see her over their Grandma pace 659 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: to settled into that right lane. I'm the speed stir 660 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 1: all the way and the other lang J J D 661 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,600 Speaker 1: and I are like pedal to the metal raising show 662 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:52,360 Speaker 1: actually on the side streets, not on this pressway. I know, 663 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: is there. I mean, Jesse, we were talking about this 664 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: in an episode. I know. We we talk just tooth 665 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 1: and nail, just you and me, like on text with this, 666 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 1: but like how you deal with hate is like so 667 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,440 Speaker 1: beautifully done, because I feel like you do get picked 668 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 1: apart a lot, and like every time, like you know, 669 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:24,800 Speaker 1: and I say, I'm like a girl, I went down 670 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 1: read it and you're like, why do you do that 671 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 1: to yourself? You know, And it's like and it's like 672 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 1: I always kind of listen to the things that you 673 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 1: say because you have such a fresh take on it, 674 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,720 Speaker 1: and also like but then you also get vulnerable, like 675 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 1: you're like when people were someone says something about your 676 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: weight and I remember being like what is wrong with people? 677 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,000 Speaker 1: Like why are they like it's like, it's so hurtful 678 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 1: it is. I think what happens is when you are 679 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 1: in the spotlight and you put yourself out there, it 680 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: people feel like they have a right to say what 681 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 1: they want to say, and they would never say these 682 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 1: things to you on the street, but it does put 683 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,000 Speaker 1: you in a place where people feel like they can 684 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 1: be comfortable enough to give their opinion even when it's 685 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 1: not nice. And I do think sometimes whenever we are 686 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,520 Speaker 1: texting about that, it is hurtful. And yes I did 687 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,000 Speaker 1: put on weight this summer, thank you for noticing that 688 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: and acknowledging acknowledging that random person like thank you. It's 689 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,480 Speaker 1: it's the things that you already feel hard on yourself 690 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,960 Speaker 1: about that someone else is pointing out, and it is hard. 691 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,000 Speaker 1: We're human beings, and I do feel like people need 692 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,080 Speaker 1: to stop and realize that. But like we've said, it's 693 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,880 Speaker 1: never gonna go away. It will always be there and 694 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 1: so but our perspective can change, and it goes for 695 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,720 Speaker 1: people that are in the spotlight or someone who's not 696 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 1: on the spotlight. When people are saying hurtful things, you 697 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 1: have to remember like they can't be happy. They can't 698 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,240 Speaker 1: be waking up feeling the sunshine on their face and 699 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,800 Speaker 1: happy to go about their day if they want to 700 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,520 Speaker 1: hurt people all day long. Hurt people, hurt people. It's 701 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 1: a real thing. And so I try to sit back 702 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 1: and have grace for those people now. And what's another 703 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 1: word that I think of sometimes I guess perspective of that. 704 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,080 Speaker 1: They're they've got to be sad. They've got to be 705 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,320 Speaker 1: hurting every day, and I want to have sympathy instead 706 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 1: and stop getting angry. It used to make me angry 707 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,840 Speaker 1: and used to make me want to cry all the 708 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 1: time and look in the mirror going maybe I do 709 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 1: have a big nose, maybe I am overweight, maybe all 710 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 1: you know, all the things they want to point out. 711 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 1: But I now have sympathy for those people, and I 712 00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: swear to God I pray for them at night now 713 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:33,759 Speaker 1: because and it makes me have more peace with it 714 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 1: going you know what they're hurting. I can't imagine what 715 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:38,799 Speaker 1: their lives must be like to want to wake up 716 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 1: every day and get on their computer and point out 717 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,239 Speaker 1: all the things that I already know about myself. So 718 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,359 Speaker 1: you just got to take a bath and go I'm 719 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,399 Speaker 1: gonna pray for them, and I'm gonna keep going about 720 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 1: my business because they're not going to affect me. And 721 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:53,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be happy. That's a word. Yeah, I love that. 722 00:34:54,360 --> 00:35:00,200 Speaker 1: But yeah it's I'm like quiet, like already it's tear well, 723 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,759 Speaker 1: but you just have to like even now, like you 724 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,680 Speaker 1: can't give it any more attention. It's like we have 725 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,320 Speaker 1: to now, like because the more attention you give it, 726 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,680 Speaker 1: the more it makes it real. So it's like I 727 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 1: feel it. Yeah, we move on from it. I know. 728 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,840 Speaker 1: I went out on this one day with someone and 729 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: they were starting to talk, Oh that's the ugly version 730 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:19,640 Speaker 1: of this person and like, oh my god, hiss like 731 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,000 Speaker 1: his his this, that and the other. And I'm like, 732 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,960 Speaker 1: people are so freaking mean. I'm like why, Like I'm 733 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,000 Speaker 1: just like, as long as I want to, that's all 734 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,120 Speaker 1: that matters, okay, Like hey mean, like it's like, donnan, 735 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,840 Speaker 1: you don't need to be mean like and say like 736 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,520 Speaker 1: hurtful things about other people. And they're it's like there's 737 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,279 Speaker 1: just some people who were never mean gold in high 738 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,239 Speaker 1: school and it shows. That's all I'll say for sure. 739 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,880 Speaker 1: And it's just and I think about that and there 740 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,320 Speaker 1: are the mean girls. Alan and I were just talking 741 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,560 Speaker 1: about that he had trouble in school where people were 742 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:54,080 Speaker 1: mean to him, and they Alan came here, tom my friend. 743 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: They they were like hurtful for him. Who wanted to 744 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:04,320 Speaker 1: be a look at this guy. I got the privilege 745 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 1: of dancing with Alan a few times when when Glub 746 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,200 Speaker 1: was sick, and you were just like, you're just the sweetest. 747 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,360 Speaker 1: When I found out she had you, I was like, 748 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: he's the best. You'll love him. He's so kind. But 749 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,160 Speaker 1: it's interesting to say you got bully because so my 750 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 1: son's and dance, I'm I'm you know, he's he's in 751 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,720 Speaker 1: hip hop now, and I'm like, man, so like boys, 752 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 1: like what do I tell him when the kids bullying 753 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:31,960 Speaker 1: actually won't get okay? Shoot? But like but because really, 754 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 1: like what do they say to you? You know, like 755 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,320 Speaker 1: at the time, growing up, it just it was taboo 756 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,760 Speaker 1: for a boy to dance. There was no boy dancers. 757 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,640 Speaker 1: Dancing with the stars wasn't even really a thing until 758 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,560 Speaker 1: you know, two thousand five when it started. So like 759 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,720 Speaker 1: growing up, when I was Tann eleven years old, dancing 760 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,600 Speaker 1: wasn't famous, It wasn't it wasn't fun. It wasn't cool. 761 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,480 Speaker 1: No one did it, and I got made fun of 762 00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:01,120 Speaker 1: a lot um In hindsight, you know, actually, at the time, 763 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,880 Speaker 1: even I didn't care because obviously I love dancing so 764 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:08,400 Speaker 1: much that like it was my safe place after school. 765 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,719 Speaker 1: I would go straight to dance and just have fun 766 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:14,000 Speaker 1: and enjoy and like live my best life. That during 767 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:17,120 Speaker 1: the day, high school and and even junior high did 768 00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,799 Speaker 1: not matter to me. And so now I look back 769 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,799 Speaker 1: at it, I'm like, yeah, it was a tough childhood. 770 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 1: Everyone made fun of me, but I don't care, like 771 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,680 Speaker 1: it made me who I am, and I really, you know, 772 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,120 Speaker 1: I can. I can move past that and just be 773 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:35,359 Speaker 1: thankful that I still have dance. And now look at 774 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:42,719 Speaker 1: you that you read he's gotten the big trophy I 775 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,319 Speaker 1: got Jesse. Now that's what is your favorite thing about 776 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,640 Speaker 1: Jesse as a person, and then your favorite thing about 777 00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:53,839 Speaker 1: Jesse as a dancer. Okay, one of the funniest things 778 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,720 Speaker 1: about Jesse is when like she's being sarcastic and over excited, 779 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:03,040 Speaker 1: it's so funny, like it's just that that that, And 780 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 1: then when we're having fun in rehearsals, it's real, you know, 781 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,680 Speaker 1: it's not just like, oh, we're gonna be excited to 782 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,759 Speaker 1: do the dance, like will. She makes the best references. 783 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,279 Speaker 1: I think you like love movies. She's a movie buff, 784 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:20,960 Speaker 1: and she makes really accurate references. Give us one, well 785 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,319 Speaker 1: today was the best one of ms congeniality. And he's 786 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,200 Speaker 1: telling me to walk more graceful and glide, and I 787 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,840 Speaker 1: was like, I'm glad here, like when she's trying to 788 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,320 Speaker 1: feel why walk like her and I'm blind and blind 789 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:39,200 Speaker 1: this is like, it's it's just I love references like that. 790 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 1: I love movies, you know, so it's it's really fun. 791 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,359 Speaker 1: And she makes the perfect reference. And then what's one 792 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 1: thing that you um like, you, what's one thing that 793 00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:52,960 Speaker 1: you're like you wish that she would um? Oh, this 794 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,800 Speaker 1: is the potst, none of the potst. I just like, 795 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,200 Speaker 1: what's one thing where you're just like like, I wish 796 00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,759 Speaker 1: she could, you know, do do this or listen to 797 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,600 Speaker 1: me on this? I got you ready. This is the 798 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,400 Speaker 1: best one. I wish she believed in herself more in 799 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,880 Speaker 1: dancing because she gets it and I can see her 800 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,359 Speaker 1: trying so hard and a lot of the time, I'm 801 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,799 Speaker 1: sure you're familiar with it is like as soon as 802 00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:18,040 Speaker 1: you let go, it clicks that can you like believe 803 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,800 Speaker 1: in yourself and it just it happens, It clicks, and 804 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,360 Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, that Why was I struggling 805 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 1: so hard with that when all I had to do 806 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,319 Speaker 1: is less and so like to me is like if 807 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,320 Speaker 1: she can believe in herself as soon as I believe 808 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,400 Speaker 1: in her, then it's like, okay, we're easy. And honestly, 809 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,200 Speaker 1: it's it's not just her, it's more of me because 810 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,839 Speaker 1: I have to change. I've been learning, especially with Jesse, 811 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,799 Speaker 1: how to change the way I teach. I overheard her saying, 812 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:48,280 Speaker 1: but you know, like Jesse is somebody that really reacts 813 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,520 Speaker 1: really well to positive reinforcement. And I've been doing that 814 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,560 Speaker 1: and I've been really adjusting to it. And I feel 815 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,480 Speaker 1: like this last like the last half of last week 816 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,280 Speaker 1: and this week has just been so much more wife 817 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,960 Speaker 1: and like almost easy because in a good environment, because 818 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:09,640 Speaker 1: I'm already going to beat yourself myself. I'm already going 819 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,680 Speaker 1: to do that, Like you don't have to worry about that. 820 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,200 Speaker 1: I got that covered, So I'm already there. So if 821 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,919 Speaker 1: I'm part of myself and he's double it's like double 822 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,800 Speaker 1: heart on myself. I need to have him lift me 823 00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,320 Speaker 1: because I'm already inside just going like you can't do this, 824 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:22,840 Speaker 1: you can't do this. I need him to be like 825 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:27,600 Speaker 1: you can do this, and me go okay, right, you know, 826 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 1: I see her right away and I'm like, oh, she's 827 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,800 Speaker 1: really like understanding it and she's not allowing herself to 828 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,160 Speaker 1: do it yet. And then when she does, it's like 829 00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:39,440 Speaker 1: we finished, Like that was that was fun. That was great, 830 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,560 Speaker 1: and so like that to me is like I want 831 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 1: to be better at facilitating that. For just it's almost 832 00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,440 Speaker 1: like you gotta let go believe and let god you know, 833 00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:58,000 Speaker 1: just for sure. Who's who's y'all's biggest competition? Do you think? Oh? Everyone? Everyone? 834 00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:00,239 Speaker 1: You could just name one? Who do you think? Because 835 00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:04,000 Speaker 1: who's who thinks the one? Honestly, I seriously can't tell you. 836 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:07,759 Speaker 1: You could probably say one, Jane, I I feel like, 837 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,239 Speaker 1: going into it, you may think there's one or two. 838 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:13,360 Speaker 1: But when you're standing on that balcony and you're watching everyone, 839 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:18,799 Speaker 1: I mean you're like, oh that that person. Like every 840 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,720 Speaker 1: you can see everyone getting to the finals this season. 841 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,680 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's always like that on every 842 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 1: season of this show, but you even said yourself, like 843 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,880 Speaker 1: everyone's really good, Like there's at least half of the 844 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,440 Speaker 1: people in this caste. You're like, oh my god, there's 845 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,239 Speaker 1: there's the beauty about the show is that it is 846 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,800 Speaker 1: about growing and learning. But there are amazing dancers already, 847 00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,360 Speaker 1: you know, Like it's this is like one of the 848 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,439 Speaker 1: first seasons where you look at like more than half 849 00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,000 Speaker 1: the casting like on any other season, this person is 850 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,840 Speaker 1: a winner actually a good way to put it. And 851 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,680 Speaker 1: so I don't know who's gonna win this season. I 852 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,880 Speaker 1: mean well, and not to be rude, but like Bobby 853 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:56,840 Speaker 1: Bones did win. So it's like sometimes it's not the 854 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,920 Speaker 1: best answer that wins, it's the best story and it's 855 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:02,120 Speaker 1: the best you know, authenticity and the I actually went 856 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,640 Speaker 1: back and rewatched some of his season and he was 857 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:09,440 Speaker 1: entertaining and he cared and he fun And I think 858 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,080 Speaker 1: that's what it is. It's not just who's the best dancer, 859 00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,960 Speaker 1: but who's really who's doing this for a bit, is 860 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:18,600 Speaker 1: going to really let go and who's growing and really 861 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 1: committing to the show. Um, any tips or any like 862 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,440 Speaker 1: a little tidbits you can give for for tomorrow because 863 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,880 Speaker 1: this is airing Sunday, So anything you can give us 864 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:35,799 Speaker 1: as a little tease yess is committing. I am all 865 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:45,840 Speaker 1: in from hit. I'm going to good Oh my gosh, 866 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,839 Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Well, you guys have to watch, Um 867 00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:52,200 Speaker 1: Jesse and Alan vote for them on Disney Plus. Um 868 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,600 Speaker 1: you can watch it live there and you guys were rooting. 869 00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 1: We're voting, we're loving and um Jesse, let me know 870 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 1: which Monday I can come out and see any any 871 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:09,320 Speaker 1: of them came this Monday, come tomorrow. Okay, let me 872 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,880 Speaker 1: say that I can call Mike and we'll text. We'll 873 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,759 Speaker 1: see which one. Okay, okay, Um, I love you guys 874 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:21,279 Speaker 1: so much, thanks for coming on by. Wait do you 875 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:29,640 Speaker 1: want to go to l A. Where's tomorrow? Tomorrow? My 876 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:33,680 Speaker 1: life doesn't work well now that Colvin's not getting a divorce. 877 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:37,680 Speaker 1: Like you know, Nick can watch the kids. We can 878 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:41,160 Speaker 1: do There's a thing. I actually saw you more when 879 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,759 Speaker 1: you were married. That's like, that's the thing. I'm like 880 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,160 Speaker 1: you Bee, like, oh, it's still gonna work for Jenna's 881 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:47,600 Speaker 1: agenda with her being singles like no, no, no, it 882 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,839 Speaker 1: actually works better when they were married, right, I got 883 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:51,600 Speaker 1: to see her more. I know that your text was 884 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,160 Speaker 1: like I can't it's not my kid for a weekend, 885 00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:56,080 Speaker 1: I can't, And I was like, my kids are so 886 00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:02,520 Speaker 1: your kids are, Um, well No, But seriously, I love Jessine. 887 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,200 Speaker 1: I love the way that she I'm gonna start, I'm 888 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,560 Speaker 1: gonna start praying for y'all, for the main people. No, seriously, 889 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,840 Speaker 1: because about the perspective. That's not going to change. So 890 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,680 Speaker 1: it's change our perspective. No, I know. Is I got 891 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,000 Speaker 1: a dozen rosists, That's all I care about. Is there 892 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,360 Speaker 1: anything you want to tell us? Nope? Is there a 893 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,320 Speaker 1: thousand things you want to tell us? Goodbye?