WEBVTT - DNA Testing Is Changing Families

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<v Speaker 1>So the way I found out that I was donor

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<v Speaker 1>conceived was when I got the results from twenty three

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<v Speaker 1>and me I matched with somebody who was my half brother.

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<v Speaker 1>To my surprise, I found out that I am not

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<v Speaker 1>my dad's daughter. He's not my biological father. I took

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<v Speaker 1>a DNA test and I I don't know who I

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<v Speaker 1>am anymore. What if a few drops of saliva held

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<v Speaker 1>the power to completely shatter your identity? As the consumer

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<v Speaker 1>DNA testing industry has boomed, thousands of people have found

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<v Speaker 1>out that these tests reveal much more than say, a

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<v Speaker 1>Scottish or Chinese heritage. They also have the power to

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<v Speaker 1>unravel decades of closely kept family secrets. Welcome back to Prognosis.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm your host, Michelle fay Cortes. I am so excited

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<v Speaker 1>for this season, where will explore how data is transforming healthcare.

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<v Speaker 1>Often the explosion of information is really helpful. It can

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<v Speaker 1>also feel pretty invasive, and sometimes it could create an

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<v Speaker 1>existential crisis. This week, we're taking a close look at

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<v Speaker 1>what happens when a half a teaspoon of spit sets

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<v Speaker 1>off a chain reaction, forcing you to reevaluate your identity

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<v Speaker 1>where you belong. In this world. Here's Bloomberg Health reporter

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<v Speaker 1>Kristen V. Brown with the story of one woman who

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<v Speaker 1>took a DNA test that changed her life and what

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<v Speaker 1>that means for the rest of us. It's a cold,

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<v Speaker 1>sunny day in enham Claw, Washington, a city of twelve

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<v Speaker 1>thousand that rests on a plateau at the foot of

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<v Speaker 1>Mount Rainier formed by a volcanic eruption five thousand years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>The wind is howling, as it usually does here. There

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<v Speaker 1>is fresh snow on the mountaintop. I'm here to meet

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<v Speaker 1>Caroline Bernard. Caroline raises sheep on a farm in nim Claw.

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<v Speaker 1>The sheep, she'd warn me, don't exactly clean up after themselves. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I think she said. She's in lifted back Caroline. Oh hi, Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of pop. Hi Hi, I did and

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<v Speaker 1>I Oh my godly, guys, I guess I got the

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<v Speaker 1>water in your Caroline took a DNA test last fall

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<v Speaker 1>that sent her whole world spinning. I was visiting her

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<v Speaker 1>because I wanted to understand what it was like to

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<v Speaker 1>have a piece of data change everything about who you

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<v Speaker 1>thought you were. When I first started covering DNA testing

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<v Speaker 1>a few years ago, Occasionally I would hear stories of

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<v Speaker 1>people who found an unexpected parent re sibling through a

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<v Speaker 1>DNA test. Recently, it's felt like once a week ever

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<v Speaker 1>reading somebody's story of how d they brought them a

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<v Speaker 1>new family member. Then in December, I wrote a story

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<v Speaker 1>about how customer service people at three and Me we're

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<v Speaker 1>having to do the jobs of therapists consoling people who

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<v Speaker 1>took a test and uncovered a surprise. The day the

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<v Speaker 1>story ran, I got twenty emails from people with DNA

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<v Speaker 1>surprised stories of their own. The next day I got

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<v Speaker 1>a few dozen more, and the emails kept coming. I

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<v Speaker 1>was starting to feel like these individual stories were part

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<v Speaker 1>of something much bigger. It felt like DNA testing was

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<v Speaker 1>reshaping the very notion of family. Caroline was one of

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<v Speaker 1>the people who emailed me. She had an especially intriguing story.

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<v Speaker 1>I was also pretty excited about the sheep. Caroline had

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<v Speaker 1>asked me to bring cheetahs, apparently a favored sheep's neck.

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<v Speaker 1>This is from last year. Hi, Oh my god, they

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<v Speaker 1>get so big. And that is Garth Brooks. Cards God

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<v Speaker 1>Brooks does he have a great boy. He has a

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<v Speaker 1>very deep voice, but he is kind of a chunky

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<v Speaker 1>unit so he's just as handsome as can be. And

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<v Speaker 1>then this is a when teaswater, and then this is

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<v Speaker 1>William and you can see Caroline had taken a d

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<v Speaker 1>n A test from Ancestry and found out that the

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<v Speaker 1>father who raised her wasn't actually her biological dad. I

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<v Speaker 1>was talking to my friend and I really wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>find out about our heritage and about you know, where

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<v Speaker 1>we came from and the ethnicities, and just find other

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<v Speaker 1>people that were related to right. And I've always known

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<v Speaker 1>that something wasn't right. And I explained that to my mom,

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<v Speaker 1>and of course she was just like, no way, But

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<v Speaker 1>I've always known that something wasn't right. And um, so

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<v Speaker 1>sent away for this DNA kit and I let us

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<v Speaker 1>sit on my on my dresser for like six months,

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<v Speaker 1>and my daughter finally comes over and she says, Mom,

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<v Speaker 1>just take the stinking thing. Just do it. And so

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<v Speaker 1>I did it and she stuck it in the mail.

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<v Speaker 1>When Caroline got her results back a few weeks later,

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<v Speaker 1>she was having dinner with a friend and an old

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<v Speaker 1>greasy spoon diner after a long day helping her friend.

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<v Speaker 1>She or Sheep, and Ancestry, for whatever reason, texted me

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<v Speaker 1>on a Friday night in the evening and said, your

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<v Speaker 1>DNA results are in. And I looked at my friend

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<v Speaker 1>and this was the friend who had had been talking

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<v Speaker 1>about DNA with and she goes, well, look at him.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I opened it up and I'm expecting to

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<v Speaker 1>see Swedish and there wasn't a drop of Swedish anywhere

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<v Speaker 1>in there. And I was a little perplexed and how

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<v Speaker 1>something's not right? And then I um clicked on the

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<v Speaker 1>matches and then I saw that the man who I

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<v Speaker 1>grew up with as my father was not my father.

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<v Speaker 1>It was another man. His name was Gary, and he

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<v Speaker 1>said right on the top, he is your biological father.

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<v Speaker 1>There is such a disconnect between the type of information

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<v Speaker 1>that these tests were designed to deliver and what people

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<v Speaker 1>actually wind up finding out. If you get a medical

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<v Speaker 1>test at your doctor's office and the results are troubling,

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<v Speaker 1>the doctor calls you in to explain what everything means.

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<v Speaker 1>But ancestry DNA test is only designed to tell you

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<v Speaker 1>such seemingly benign information, like how Sweedish you are, So

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<v Speaker 1>you can just be sitting at dinner and get this

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<v Speaker 1>casual text revealing that your father isn't your father. There

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<v Speaker 1>is something really callous about that. I didn't expect that.

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<v Speaker 1>I did not expect to see Gary Tackett as your father.

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<v Speaker 1>That was the last thing I expected to see. And

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<v Speaker 1>then I saw all of these siblings that were underneath there.

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<v Speaker 1>And my friend Kelly is she's very familiar with DNA,

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<v Speaker 1>and she says, Oh, that's a sibling. That's a sibling.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a sibling because of the amount of um match

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<v Speaker 1>what is that called the the sent of forms or

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<v Speaker 1>something sent to Morgan, the amount of sin of Morgan.

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<v Speaker 1>She said that that's a sibling, and um, it was

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<v Speaker 1>not anything that I could have predicted or comprehended at

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<v Speaker 1>the moment time. It was very um surreal. Caroline has had,

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<v Speaker 1>by her own account, a tough life. She got into

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<v Speaker 1>sheep farming to help her cope with post traumatic stress

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<v Speaker 1>disorder after serving as a military nurse. Even though she's

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<v Speaker 1>a farmer, she keeps nocturnal hours, arriving at the farm

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<v Speaker 1>in the afternoon and working until midnight, habit she developed

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<v Speaker 1>while in an abusive relationship. She isn't close with her

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<v Speaker 1>family and always felt she didn't quite fit in, but

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<v Speaker 1>never did she expect her dad wasn't the man she

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<v Speaker 1>grew up with. But more than anything, I was just confused.

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<v Speaker 1>I was confused, I was overwhelmed, I was surprised, and UM,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think pissed, you know, kind of like being blindsided.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I had a two hour drive home, so

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<v Speaker 1>I was able to digest pretty much all of it.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I called my daughter on the drive home

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<v Speaker 1>and talked to her about it, and UM. Then she

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<v Speaker 1>decided that she was going to call my mom. And

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<v Speaker 1>she called my mom and called me back and said,

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<v Speaker 1>Mom wants to talk to you at ten o'clock tomorrow morning.

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<v Speaker 1>Will you call her? And at that point in time,

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<v Speaker 1>I knew that there was something I hadn't been told.

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<v Speaker 1>Her biological father's name was Gary Tackett, or at least

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<v Speaker 1>that was the name he had been born with at

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<v Speaker 1>different times, he has gone by many different names. Caroline

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<v Speaker 1>googled him and began to piece together a portrait of

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<v Speaker 1>his life from news clippings, public records, and YouTube. Gary

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<v Speaker 1>parlayed a career as a crop duster in Arkansas into

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<v Speaker 1>a gig smuggling marijuana and cocaine from Central America into

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<v Speaker 1>the United States. By all accounts, Scary was charming and

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<v Speaker 1>an excellent pilot, able to fly in and out of

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<v Speaker 1>tight spaces with ease thanks to his crop testing experience

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<v Speaker 1>and to evade government surveillance. Skill he picked up as

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<v Speaker 1>a pilot in Vietnam in the nineteen eighties, he secretly

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<v Speaker 1>flew weapons to Nicaraguan rebels for the CIA, flying back

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<v Speaker 1>to the US with planeloads of drugs and a scandal

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<v Speaker 1>that would later become known as the Iran Contra affair.

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<v Speaker 1>Caroline watched footage of him testifying before Congress about the scandal.

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<v Speaker 1>In by then he was going by Gary Betsner. It

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<v Speaker 1>was the first time she'd heard her father speak. Here's

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<v Speaker 1>Gary talking to then Senator John Kerry Bell. Mr Batsner,

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<v Speaker 1>what would you describe to us this first drug venture

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<v Speaker 1>you went on. You've never flown down there before. How

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<v Speaker 1>did you know where to go? Well, I'm a pilot,

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<v Speaker 1>and um, I've had considerable navigation experience, so it was

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<v Speaker 1>readily simple for me to do. I Caroline's mom was

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<v Speaker 1>already divorced with a son when she met Gary. Around

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<v Speaker 1>the same time, she was also dating the man who

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<v Speaker 1>Caroline grew up with knowing as her father. Her mom

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<v Speaker 1>says she ended things with Gary after he pressed an

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<v Speaker 1>old fashioned bottle opener up to her neck and threatened

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<v Speaker 1>to kill her. Gary has denied this account to Caroline.

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<v Speaker 1>Either way, when her mom realized she was pregnant, she

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<v Speaker 1>told her future husband, the man that raised Caroline, thought

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<v Speaker 1>the baby was his. If she had said anything, she

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<v Speaker 1>would end up being a divorce woman and nwood mother,

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<v Speaker 1>and her life would have been destroyed. I mean, that's

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<v Speaker 1>just the way it was back then, and um, she

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<v Speaker 1>did what she did to protect her kids. Abortion wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>an option. As a rural sheep farmer from a one

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<v Speaker 1>stoplight town, it was hard for Caroline to imagine someone

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<v Speaker 1>so infamous was her father. He had lived this adventurous life,

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<v Speaker 1>making millions, smuggling drugs and romancing countless women in his travels.

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<v Speaker 1>He was a evicted criminal. He was a hippie too,

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<v Speaker 1>and at one point had followed an Indian guru once.

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<v Speaker 1>He even faked his own death and moved to Hawaii

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<v Speaker 1>with his then wife and two of his children. One

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<v Speaker 1>of his other daughters, Polly, told me, she only found

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<v Speaker 1>out her dad was still alive when she read about

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<v Speaker 1>his congressional testimony in the local paper. Caroline isn't interested

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<v Speaker 1>in relationship with her new found father, though he has

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<v Speaker 1>reached out to her several times under different aliases via Facebook.

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<v Speaker 1>We also tried to reach out to Gary for an interview.

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<v Speaker 1>He never responded and told Caroline he would only talk

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<v Speaker 1>to a reporter if she would speak to him. I

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<v Speaker 1>watched that senate testimony and I'm he's a narcissist and

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<v Speaker 1>there's nothing for him to offer my life and what

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<v Speaker 1>he did to my mom and what he did all

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<v Speaker 1>his other other women. I want nothing to do with him.

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<v Speaker 1>But Caroline has connected with a few of her nine

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<v Speaker 1>new siblings. The night she got her ancestor results, Caroline

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<v Speaker 1>also received a message from Carla, an actress. HI looks

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<v Speaker 1>like we're close relatives. Are you adopted? Um? My mom's

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<v Speaker 1>name was Caroline from Bellingham, Washington. She died a cancer

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<v Speaker 1>in eight d and I never met her. You're only

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<v Speaker 1>eight year months older than me. What is your mom's

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<v Speaker 1>maiden name? I live in Kingston. I ferry your away

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<v Speaker 1>from you. We could meet and talk, she wrote back.

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<v Speaker 1>I tried to call you, it said your number is

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<v Speaker 1>not in service. I stayed up late. I'm on Pacific

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<v Speaker 1>standard time. I would love to talk to you before.

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<v Speaker 1>I talked to my mother in the morning, and that

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<v Speaker 1>was a phone call at ten. Now I know that

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<v Speaker 1>they've been lying to me in my entire life. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>flum mixed, and I feel like my entire life was

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<v Speaker 1>a lie. Carla grew up in Puerto Rico and only

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<v Speaker 1>found out she was adopted much later. As an adult.

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<v Speaker 1>When DNA testing came around, she tried it out, searching

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<v Speaker 1>for some sense of identity. The test linked her to

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<v Speaker 1>a paternal niece and nephew, who led her to Gary.

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<v Speaker 1>Carla asked Gary to take a d A test. Eventually,

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<v Speaker 1>ancestry would also identify Gary as the father of three

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<v Speaker 1>other children who had no idea Gary was their father,

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<v Speaker 1>including most recently Caroline, as well as six others who

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<v Speaker 1>grew up knowing Gary as their dad. The first time

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<v Speaker 1>Carline Caroline met at an olive garden and Washington, they

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<v Speaker 1>talked for hours as if they were old friends. Another sister, Angela,

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<v Speaker 1>seemed to share her sense of humor. They now have

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<v Speaker 1>near daily conversations, and a brother, Christopher, looked on cannily

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<v Speaker 1>like her. For Caroline, a new family was beginning to form.

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<v Speaker 1>We had one day we were sending each other pictures

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<v Speaker 1>of our feet because we all have the same toes.

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<v Speaker 1>We all had the same goofy toes where our big

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<v Speaker 1>toe is the longest and then the rest of the

0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.600
<v Speaker 1>toes gets smaller as they go down. So we were

0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:52.640
<v Speaker 1>taking pictures of our toes, and we were taking pictures

0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:56.960
<v Speaker 1>of our hands, and we all the same pinkie and um,

0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.720
<v Speaker 1>you know, we all have the same droopy eyelid. It's

0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:02.920
<v Speaker 1>just and my daughter is the spitting image of Gary.

0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:08.720
<v Speaker 1>Really yeah, sitting in her barn, sheltered from the wind,

0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>amidst the sheep, a llama, chickens, and cats. Caroline should

0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:17.120
<v Speaker 1>be photos how much her two sons look like Carla's

0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:21.360
<v Speaker 1>the goofy selfies she and Angela like to trade. For Caroline,

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:24.360
<v Speaker 1>who had felt she never fit in. Here were people

0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:26.480
<v Speaker 1>she had never met that seemed to look like her

0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:30.200
<v Speaker 1>and laugh at the same kind of jokes. I wake

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:34.000
<v Speaker 1>up in the morning, it's like my reality so different

0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:40.480
<v Speaker 1>than what it was. It used to be that the

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:44.120
<v Speaker 1>prototypical American family was a man and his wife, a

0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:48.280
<v Speaker 1>couple of kids, maybe a dog. Then, as divorced became

0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:52.120
<v Speaker 1>more common, half siblings, step siblings, and stepparents became part

0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 1>of the mix. Same sex marriage legalization, too, has diversified

0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:59.800
<v Speaker 1>what families look like. What does it mean for the

0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.720
<v Speaker 1>family unit When thousands of people are logging into ancestry

0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:06.840
<v Speaker 1>and twenty three and me to discover families they never

0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:12.320
<v Speaker 1>knew they had, I tracked down Cecy Moore, a genetic genealogist.

0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 1>These days, CC is most famous for her work using

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:19.600
<v Speaker 1>genealogy to hunt serial killers, but Cec got to start

0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:22.880
<v Speaker 1>pioneering away for adoptees to use DNA to find their

0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:27.080
<v Speaker 1>birth parents. So many people are finding these surprises. And

0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.360
<v Speaker 1>often when someone says, oh, my gosh, I took a

0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.200
<v Speaker 1>DNA test and I found a half sibling, the person

0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:34.560
<v Speaker 1>they're telling will say, oh, well, guess what it happened

0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:36.640
<v Speaker 1>to me too, Or it happened to my cousin, or

0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.600
<v Speaker 1>it happened to someone I'm close to. So it's becoming

0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 1>so common that it's not out of the realm of

0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.760
<v Speaker 1>most people's experience, like it happened to them or it

0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:48.760
<v Speaker 1>happened to someone they know very well. Cecy said she's

0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:51.400
<v Speaker 1>seen cases or people have moved to be closer to

0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.960
<v Speaker 1>their newfound genetic families. Or taken in DNA relatives that

0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.280
<v Speaker 1>were homeless or in need of support. I think the

0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:02.360
<v Speaker 1>concept of family already expanded greatly, and this is just

0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:05.280
<v Speaker 1>one more step in that direction. Now we have quote

0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:09.720
<v Speaker 1>unquote DNA cousins, DNA relatives, people that we have found

0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:13.240
<v Speaker 1>strictly through DNA that haven't been part of our history

0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.280
<v Speaker 1>or our life story that but perhaps may play an

0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:20.480
<v Speaker 1>important role in the future. Of course, people don't always

0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:24.120
<v Speaker 1>embrace their new found families with open arms, but Czi

0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:26.720
<v Speaker 1>thinks stories like Caroline's have made people more open to

0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:31.120
<v Speaker 1>connecting or fussing up to long held secrets. She's heard

0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.400
<v Speaker 1>from sperm donors who now want to connect with their

0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:37.360
<v Speaker 1>donor children and mothers who abandoned babies and decades later

0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.760
<v Speaker 1>decided to reach out to their kids. People are realizing

0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:45.360
<v Speaker 1>they can't keep secrets anymore because of consumer DNA testing,

0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:49.400
<v Speaker 1>because of genetic genealogy techniques to uncover these secrets. So

0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:52.280
<v Speaker 1>I do think it's going to have a very profound

0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:58.520
<v Speaker 1>and wide effect across our society. More than fifteen million

0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:01.720
<v Speaker 1>people have taken DNA to through just ancestry and twenty

0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:04.600
<v Speaker 1>three and me alone, a number that has only grown

0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:09.679
<v Speaker 1>since the last time each company publicly released statistics. So

0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:12.760
<v Speaker 1>many people have had experiences like Caroline's that an array

0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:16.240
<v Speaker 1>of support networks for people with so called non expected

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:20.800
<v Speaker 1>parental events have cropped up on Facebook. The biggest among them,

0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:24.280
<v Speaker 1>d NA and PE Friends, has grown to more than

0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:28.240
<v Speaker 1>five thousand members. Four thousand of those people joined in

0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:31.800
<v Speaker 1>just the last seven months. The group recently began the

0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:35.800
<v Speaker 1>process to register as a nonprofit advocating for emotional support

0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:38.439
<v Speaker 1>for the thousands of people who take DNA tests and

0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.840
<v Speaker 1>find out their family isn't exactly the family they expected.

0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:46.040
<v Speaker 1>Katherine st. Clair, the founder of DNA and PE Friends,

0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.760
<v Speaker 1>told me even she was surprised by how quickly the

0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:52.160
<v Speaker 1>group has grown. I thought that this situation was very

0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:55.280
<v Speaker 1>unique and very unusual. I mean, I figured that there's

0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:57.800
<v Speaker 1>probably thousands of people out there, but I means thousands

0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:01.960
<v Speaker 1>per millions, not thousands per hundred thousands. Instead, she said,

0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:05.199
<v Speaker 1>some recent estimates have suggested that people like herself and

0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:07.879
<v Speaker 1>Caroline may account for as much as ten percent of

0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:11.920
<v Speaker 1>the population. I think that's too conservative. I think the

0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:16.840
<v Speaker 1>conservative estimate is um but still, if you look at

0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:19.119
<v Speaker 1>it as ten percent, even if it is just ten percent.

0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:21.359
<v Speaker 1>Ten percent of the world is left handed, so that

0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:23.399
<v Speaker 1>means this is just as common as being left handed.

0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.480
<v Speaker 1>Like CC Katherine told me, she thinks DNA testing marks

0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:29.720
<v Speaker 1>the beginning of a shift that will allow people to

0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:33.240
<v Speaker 1>be more open and honest about the complexities of love

0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:37.159
<v Speaker 1>and family. We put our parents upon this pedestal. We

0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:39.720
<v Speaker 1>grow up thinking our parents never made a mistake. We

0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:42.240
<v Speaker 1>grew up thinking that they never did anything stupid, they

0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:45.280
<v Speaker 1>never made bad decisions. Nobody wants to admit that to

0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.240
<v Speaker 1>their children because they are afraid that their kids are

0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.200
<v Speaker 1>going to go out and make bad decisions too. So

0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:55.720
<v Speaker 1>when something like DNA shatters the image we have of

0:18:55.760 --> 0:19:00.359
<v Speaker 1>our parents, it completely changes the way we see our

0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:04.719
<v Speaker 1>families and ourselves. We are she said, heading toward a

0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:08.000
<v Speaker 1>new norm. And I think that this needs to be emphasized.

0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.399
<v Speaker 1>If you're going to take a DNA tist, don't take

0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:15.480
<v Speaker 1>it with the wondering. If you're going to have unexpected findings,

0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:22.000
<v Speaker 1>take it expecting unexpected findings, because every single family in

0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:26.119
<v Speaker 1>the world is going to either have an MPE or

0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:31.000
<v Speaker 1>an unexpected half sibling, or an unexpected aunt or uncle,

0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:39.480
<v Speaker 1>or an unexpected niece or nephew, it's there. But what

0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:41.800
<v Speaker 1>does it really mean to find out that your family

0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:45.119
<v Speaker 1>isn't really who you thought they were? After all, that

0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:48.440
<v Speaker 1>doesn't change who raised you or the experiences you've had.

0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:52.720
<v Speaker 1>Here's Caroline again. I always thought I was more like

0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:55.359
<v Speaker 1>my dad, and and I think, you know, there's the

0:19:55.400 --> 0:19:59.639
<v Speaker 1>whole nurture versus nature kind of thing, and I don't know.

0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.400
<v Speaker 1>And when you get blindsided like that and your whole

0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:05.760
<v Speaker 1>foundation has taken out from underneath you, it's a little perplexing.

0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:15.800
<v Speaker 1>It's a little perplexing. Caroline thinks this has actually been

0:20:15.880 --> 0:20:19.120
<v Speaker 1>hardest on the man she considers her dad, the dad

0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.600
<v Speaker 1>that raised her. Caroline may have lost her genetic connection

0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:25.360
<v Speaker 1>to him, but she also gained a whole new family.

0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:29.520
<v Speaker 1>For her father, there was no new family to balance

0:20:29.560 --> 0:20:32.560
<v Speaker 1>out the loss. I talked to a few of Caroline's

0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:36.760
<v Speaker 1>new sisters and Gary's brother too. All of them seemed

0:20:36.800 --> 0:20:40.160
<v Speaker 1>to embrace their new found family. Even for the siblings

0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:43.080
<v Speaker 1>who grew up knowing Gary as their father, the expanded

0:20:43.080 --> 0:20:46.240
<v Speaker 1>family has changed their lives. There has been tension at

0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:49.240
<v Speaker 1>times and jealousy as Gary has embraced some of his

0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:52.720
<v Speaker 1>new children despite tattered relationships with some of his old ones.

0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:56.560
<v Speaker 1>Early on, one of Caroline's new sisters joked to her

0:20:56.800 --> 0:20:59.440
<v Speaker 1>that instead of the Brady Bunch, she had stumbled into

0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:02.479
<v Speaker 1>the Jerry's Bring Our Show. But there have also been

0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:06.280
<v Speaker 1>joyful reunions and family group text threads and new bonds

0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:10.160
<v Speaker 1>that seem as deep as any childhood once. Here's Gary's

0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:13.600
<v Speaker 1>brother Larry, who the siblings called the funcle or the

0:21:13.640 --> 0:21:18.240
<v Speaker 1>fun Uncle. I feel related to them. I'm very interested

0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:22.679
<v Speaker 1>in their stories, in their lives. Um you know, I

0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:26.080
<v Speaker 1>was raised by a stepfather, my parents divorced from a

0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:29.879
<v Speaker 1>young I have a lot of compassion for a situation

0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:35.000
<v Speaker 1>like that. Later this year, some of Caroline's new family

0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:38.320
<v Speaker 1>is planning to visit her in Washington. She said, it's

0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:41.119
<v Speaker 1>weird how easy it has been to get to know them.

0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:43.720
<v Speaker 1>It often feels like talking to an old friend, when

0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:46.680
<v Speaker 1>the family she grew up with often feel like strangers.

0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:49.560
<v Speaker 1>She is a little in common with, and it's actually

0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:53.080
<v Speaker 1>helped her strained relationship with her parents, allowing them to

0:21:53.119 --> 0:21:56.879
<v Speaker 1>talk more openly. She says she's glad to know the truth,

0:21:57.359 --> 0:21:59.920
<v Speaker 1>to have learned something new about herself and where she

0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:03.120
<v Speaker 1>came from. That our roots are not Swedish and Jewish

0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:07.280
<v Speaker 1>but Southern that other people share her same weird toes.

0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:11.960
<v Speaker 1>How has it changed my life? It's changed my life

0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:18.679
<v Speaker 1>or a positive. I have a family and um I

0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:21.640
<v Speaker 1>didn't have that, you know, six months ago I had

0:22:21.680 --> 0:22:24.320
<v Speaker 1>the family I grew up with, but it was dysfunctional

0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:29.320
<v Speaker 1>and broken. And this is probably still dysfunctional and broken,

0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:35.600
<v Speaker 1>but it's bigger. But she is also still a sheep

0:22:35.640 --> 0:22:38.320
<v Speaker 1>farmer who keeps nocturnal hours and knows all of her

0:22:38.359 --> 0:22:40.919
<v Speaker 1>eighties sheep by name, A woman who grew up with

0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:43.040
<v Speaker 1>two parents and a half brother in the country on

0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:46.600
<v Speaker 1>the Canadian border, and a divorce mom to three kids.

0:22:49.280 --> 0:23:01.080
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't matter, you know, it doesn't change who I am.

0:23:01.080 --> 0:23:04.240
<v Speaker 1>And that's it for this week's prognosis. Thanks for listening.

0:23:04.680 --> 0:23:06.320
<v Speaker 1>Do you have a story about help here in the

0:23:06.400 --> 0:23:09.480
<v Speaker 1>US or around the world. We want to hear from you.

0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:12.440
<v Speaker 1>You can email me m Cortes at Bloomberg dot net

0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:15.560
<v Speaker 1>or find me on Twitter at bay Cortes. If you

0:23:15.600 --> 0:23:18.040
<v Speaker 1>were a fan of this episode, please take a moment

0:23:18.119 --> 0:23:20.720
<v Speaker 1>to rate and review us. It helps new listeners find

0:23:20.760 --> 0:23:24.119
<v Speaker 1>the show. This episode was produced by Liz Smith. Our

0:23:24.160 --> 0:23:26.880
<v Speaker 1>story editor was rich Shine. Thanks also to help team

0:23:26.920 --> 0:23:30.120
<v Speaker 1>leader Drew Armstrong and Francesco Levie, whose head of podcasts

0:23:30.160 --> 0:23:32.679
<v Speaker 1>at Bloomberg. We'll see you in two weeks on April

0:23:32.680 --> 0:23:36.720
<v Speaker 1>eleventh for our next episode,