1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:01,760 Speaker 1: What's up, y'all. 2 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:05,600 Speaker 2: It's Erica and Mela, and we are so excited because 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 2: we are three weeks out from our Atlanta live show. 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: Hey hey, hey, uh. 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 3: If you're in Atlanta or in any neighboring city, we 6 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 3: expect to see that ass there. 7 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: Bring that ass through. Come through. 8 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,079 Speaker 2: We're about to dance, We're about to drink, We're about 9 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 2: to laugh, We're about to overshare. Also, please share some hories. 10 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 2: We need some horry submissions asap. Make sure you send 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 2: those to our DMS if you wanna hear your horry 12 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:34,200 Speaker 2: at our live show. And the show is at BQE 13 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 2: Lounge in downtown Atlanta on Edgewood. 14 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 3: Bring your friends, bring your single friends, bring a single zaddies. 15 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 1: You don't gotta be a a mama to ticket or daddy. 16 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,520 Speaker 3: And if you are, get a motherfucking babysitter, it's about 17 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 3: to go up. 18 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 2: Tickets are in our bio, so get those tickets. 19 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 3: That's someone texts me right now, they're about to come 20 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 3: to the show. Okay, they're running out fast. 21 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 1: Anyway, We hope. 22 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 2: You enjoyed this episode featuring marriage and my Teens. 23 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: Catch you later. 24 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 4: All know these song Calledpaigners with telling this, I'm gonna 25 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:22,199 Speaker 4: be being say what some my Heartlet's take this chance 26 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:25,320 Speaker 4: and make this and I feel renoving get you know 27 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 4: bodybut it from. 28 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 5: The surgyst right, all the years be put in this 29 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 5: relationship doing making this barm. 30 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 1: Then I think about, well would I be if we 31 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 1: was to. 32 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 6: Just fall a barm? 33 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 4: If that can't stand the thought. 34 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: Of me, you waitress, we ain't getting, do you? We 35 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: are getting the. 36 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 2: Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and 37 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 2: ANIELA happy Wednesday. You guys, You guys are having a 38 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 2: great week and. 39 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: That they're not as drunk as we are. About two and. 40 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,239 Speaker 2: A half martinis and yeah, I haven't eaten today And 41 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 2: I didn't realize that until after I finished my full 42 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 2: drink of vodka. And then I was like, why did 43 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 2: I drunk? Also I only had coffee today. Also, we 44 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 2: don't drink vodka. I used to drink vodka. I used 45 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,639 Speaker 2: to that used to be my only drink. I think 46 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 2: I graduated tequila, like around the time we became from. 47 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,359 Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah it was your tequila faces. 48 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,000 Speaker 2: New Well, I'm in a Mexican so I all liked tequila, 49 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:35,959 Speaker 2: but like vodka. 50 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: Was my ship. 51 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 2: Like I mean, I think I started my like alcoholism 52 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 2: in like in high school with like vodka cranberry. 53 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: Which was the most successful for vodka, the most accessible liquor. 54 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 3: Right, yeah, since I I've been drinking tequila for a 55 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,640 Speaker 3: long time. It also kind of rhymes with Jamila, like 56 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 3: Jamila tequila. 57 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: So that was the thing. Well, I just felt like 58 00:02:55,280 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: it was meant my next rurning, like think there's a 59 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: whole story behind him. That's really terrifying. Actually it's the 60 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 1: window closed. Okay, good. Yeah, I don't know how he's 61 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: still there. Actually he should be in jail. That neighbor 62 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: is really scary. 63 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 2: One day, I'll tell you guys. Actually maybe not, because 64 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 2: people are like, why do you still live there with 65 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: your child? 66 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: That's kind of scary. Well, what are you supposed to do? Relocate? 67 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: It's la, it's expensive. We need to not talk about it. 68 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell the story. Okay, fine, let's not 69 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 1: talk about it. I happened to speak. How is your week? 70 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: It was good? I don't know what I did. What 71 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: did I do? I worked and you thought you thought 72 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: Friday was Saturday. Went on three non days. I went 73 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 1: on a hinge date and two non dates, so that 74 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: was good. 75 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 3: And she went on a hinge date with someone who 76 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 3: does not drink liquor and she took him. 77 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 7: To an AA and that's problem, and I tell her 78 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 7: that's not gonna work. 79 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 2: I didn't know that that was gonna happen before I went. 80 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 2: I mean, I just I guess if not good at 81 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 2: reading hinge. 82 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, hine is really good because I don't know 83 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 3: why we're getting them free ads, but I'd be on it. 84 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 3: So Hine is really good because it has really clever 85 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 3: questions that it gives you insight of people's personality. And 86 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 3: then they ask the most important questions, which are do 87 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 3: you drink, do you do drugs? Do you smoke weed? 88 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: And do you do drugs? Do you want kids or 89 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: do you have kids? And what's your religion? And you know, 90 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: everybody that tells. I guess I didn't read all that, 91 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: and I didn't care. You know, I think people some 92 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: people Sometimes. 93 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 2: People lie because they are are scared if like people 94 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 2: are gonna judge them if they smoke or they drink. 95 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 2: So I thought maybe he was. 96 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 3: Like trying to be like I think people like to 97 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 3: as soon as I see no, no, no, I'm like, 98 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 3: not gonna work. 99 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: You don't do any drugs, you don't drink nothing. He was, 100 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 1: you're not gonna like me. 101 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,040 Speaker 2: I mean he doesn't know that I like do ecstasy 102 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 2: on the weekends. Whatever's anyway. Anyway, we have some guests here. 103 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,159 Speaker 1: Hi. Yeah, you might have heard them laugh in Okay, 104 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: Oh I didn't see you guys here. I mean, they're 105 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,720 Speaker 1: the reason I'm drunk. I'm gonna blame you over. 106 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:50,160 Speaker 8: I know. 107 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: I'm a grown ass person that's drinking right now. 108 00:04:53,760 --> 00:05:01,839 Speaker 3: We have the very cool podcast Marriage and Martinis, and 109 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 3: we're drinking martinis. 110 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: Yes we are. 111 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 2: Jamila has literally been waiting to make martinis. 112 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 1: Literally, no, we'll take wine. We don't. We usually smoke. 113 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: We don't really usually drink. We drink tequila before, okay, 114 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: but not often. We usually just smoke. But you're right. 115 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:19,720 Speaker 1: But she literally was like. 116 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 2: Okay, they're gonna come and make martinis. What kind of 117 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 2: should I make? I was like, I don't know, bitch, 118 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,720 Speaker 2: you're the bartender. She's always like making all these fancy drinks, 119 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 2: Like I don't. I just smoke weed and drink your drinks. 120 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 3: Then today I got here and I was like fuck, 121 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 3: this uncassy bitch doesn't know martini glasses. 122 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: I was so disappointed. So we're just drinking on the regulars. 123 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: But listen, we're happy. 124 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 7: We're already on round bottle to. 125 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,479 Speaker 1: Literally we wait, yeah, we're drunk. 126 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,160 Speaker 7: Well, it's so it's so crazy because like I feel 127 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 7: like we're friends already, and then when we get together, 128 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 7: it's sort of like I feel like we have to 129 00:05:56,839 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 7: make up for lost time. Right start, it's. 130 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: Hardcore once you start, it's true. 131 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, so since we are internet friends, honestly, you want 132 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 3: to know a secret how we found you is we 133 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 3: went on another podcast and I overheard them talking like, oh, 134 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 3: this podcast is going to be coming in in August, 135 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 3: and they. 136 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 1: Have a lot of followers. And then I got in 137 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,359 Speaker 1: the car and I was like, you reached out to 138 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: you were like we should. 139 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 2: Then was like they're so transparent like us, like real transparent, 140 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 2: not like that fake ship transparent that talking about on podcast. 141 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 9: That's okay. 142 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: I kind of had some inside information. 143 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 7: You're going to be in town, and I will say, 144 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 7: two women talking ad him, he's not gonna be able 145 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,039 Speaker 7: to listen. 146 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 9: Sitting here with the three of you a little uncomfortable, 147 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 9: but little. 148 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 1: Okay, we don't bite. 149 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 2: So so Danielle and Adam are actually married and have 150 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,279 Speaker 2: three kids. 151 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 1: We do. He told them us how. 152 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 9: Old they are. 153 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 7: So we have a fourteen year old girl and two 154 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:06,719 Speaker 7: boys eleven and seven almost eight, and married, how seventeen years? 155 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: Just had our seventeen year anniversary. Wow, Hell, you guys 156 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: have been together. We've of all the time we've been together. 157 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 9: It depends on what point you're gonna go right right. 158 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 7: We have a really officially a crazy story where we 159 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 7: dated for a little bit in high school. 160 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 1: We did you guys go to the same high school too, 161 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: now went. 162 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,559 Speaker 7: To like neighboring high schools, and my friend for some reason, 163 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 7: thought I would like him, which makes no sense because 164 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:28,239 Speaker 7: he was a total answer. 165 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 9: Yeah, but it does because she's so fucking awesome. She's great, 166 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 9: she likes everybody, so she likes everybody. She loves. We 167 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 9: got We got along so well, and and we start 168 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 9: makes a lot of sense. 169 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 7: We dated, I mean dated dated like he felt me 170 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 7: up a few times. Yeah, and then I realized he 171 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 7: had a girlfriend, so yeah, so we broke up and 172 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 7: then yeah he worked out Yeah no, he was ahole. 173 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 7: And then in college we just somehow met back up 174 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 7: while I was in college. 175 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 9: She wasn't thank you. That's like the sixteenth episode we've 176 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 9: talked about me not making it. 177 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 2: She's already established that education is very important to her. 178 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 2: You goblished that vocational studies are totally fine. 179 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, he is that. 180 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 7: I don't know what you guys are on the East Coast, 181 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 7: but there's this famous commercial that says, of course I 182 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 7: have an education. I went to DeVry do you know it? 183 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 9: Yeah? 184 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 6: I know. 185 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 9: University after dropping out of college. 186 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: So anyway, you went to university? 187 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 9: Thank you. 188 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 4: Well. 189 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 9: When I wobby. 190 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,440 Speaker 7: Teenager, I was always like, oh DeVry, and then I 191 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 7: ended up marrying somebody from. 192 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: Who is wrong? Device still around though? 193 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:45,199 Speaker 4: Right? 194 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,320 Speaker 1: I think so, and I haven't. I think it is 195 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: actually a really good school. But I was just a 196 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: super snob. Honestly, you need some Debry adds, right, I 197 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 1: needed to right, right. Honestly, you're be giving them too 198 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 1: much free. 199 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 3: I'm I'm all the way with trades because I am 200 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 3: astheticians a trade. I feel like, absolutely, the more trades 201 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 3: you get, the better you can take that shit wherever 202 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 3: you want to go. 203 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: You know, there's there's perks to trades. Yeah, absolutely. 204 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 7: I mean, listen, if you have talent, for sure, you know, no, 205 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,839 Speaker 7: I'm serious, Like, if you have I think if you're 206 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 7: like a really talented person, to push somebody in that 207 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 7: direction makes sense. 208 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 1: But did you do the big wedding thing? Oh? 209 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 7: God, a big extra ass wedding we did. I think 210 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 7: when you get married really young, one of the things 211 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:36,440 Speaker 7: that you realize later is that you really didn't know 212 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 7: how to do anything. Like everybody kind of did it 213 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,559 Speaker 7: for you, and you sort of like went around along 214 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 7: for the ride. And I think that's what we did. 215 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,439 Speaker 7: I think we just his parents they kind of planned 216 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,199 Speaker 7: it and we sort of went along for the ride. 217 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 7: And well, we were very young, we were very immature, 218 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,199 Speaker 7: we had more money. 219 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 9: It was Daniel wanted, you know, the nice wedding, and 220 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 9: I wait, what, yes, you did. You wanted the nice wedding, 221 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 9: and just like I went along for the ride with 222 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 9: my family always did nice weddings. That's what I knew, 223 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 9: that's what I was used to, so we did. Wait 224 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 9: a minute, maybe that's not true because you wanted to 225 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 9: do it at a different place. 226 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I really did not want to. Actually was actually 227 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 1: it was all me, Yeah, a little bit of credit. 228 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 9: Now, No, it. 229 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 7: Wasn't me, But I think that what we had just 230 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 7: ended up doing is we just ended up like listening 231 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 7: to what. 232 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,839 Speaker 1: Everybody told us. Yeah, twenty four, So you could do 233 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: it all over again, what would you do? 234 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,480 Speaker 7: I would do a destination We actually went recently to 235 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,320 Speaker 7: a destination wedding. 236 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: Our friends had one. 237 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 7: It was amazing because it was like all their best 238 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 7: friends in the same place. So they did their destination 239 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 7: and honeymoon the same Where was it Mexico like Amia? Yeah, 240 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 7: and they invited our kids, but there was like a 241 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 7: camp at the resort, so we would put the kids 242 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 7: in the camp. All the kids were together, so they 243 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,559 Speaker 7: had a blast and like for a week we all 244 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 7: just hung out together. And I mean, I don't at 245 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 7: this point, like I don't want my parents' second cousin. 246 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 9: And well, it's fifty people versus two hundred, of which 247 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 9: the two hundred you don't know, so completely makes sense. 248 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 3: You're just paying for people to talk about how good 249 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 3: or bad your wedding was. 250 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 2: After do you think, like, so, would you do a 251 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 2: vowl renewal? Like a lot of. 252 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 1: Dying to do, have such a good idea dying you 253 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: guys should do a vowel renewal slash Live podcast. Oh 254 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 1: that's interesting. 255 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 9: So then like all your people, does anybody care about 256 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 9: a vowery? We were just in the hotel something something 257 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 9: was on today, I don't remember what show it was 258 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 9: where they said people did a vow renewal, and the 259 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 9: invitation to the vow ren was it said, oops, one 260 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 9: of us cheated. 261 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 3: I was literally just about to say, I feel like 262 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 3: that only happens when something really goes wrong, like cheating 263 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 3: in a relationship, like they had a girl after lemonade, which, 264 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,679 Speaker 3: of course, wait a minute, how long they haven't been 265 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:58,319 Speaker 3: married that long? 266 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 2: They've they've been married for like twelve wait years, really 267 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 2: maybe twelve years? 268 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: Twelve years? Said that long? 269 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,719 Speaker 7: When you've been married for seventeen years, honestly, whether or 270 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 7: not you admit it, something has gone wrong. 271 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 1: So it's like, I. 272 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:15,839 Speaker 9: Mean, right, I would something has gone right. It's been seventeen. 273 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:21,080 Speaker 2: Years, both wrong and right. It's right enough that we're 274 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 2: still here. 275 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,079 Speaker 7: I was just gonna say, right enough, and you've done 276 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 7: something right that you're still there, or the connection is 277 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 7: strong enough that you're still there, but something along the way, 278 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 7: I mean, seventeen years is a long fucking time, like 279 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,359 Speaker 7: when anybody's life in seventeen years is something. 280 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 1: Not go wrong? No, absolutely so it's both. 281 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 7: But I would like to I do feel like I 282 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 7: feel like we're completely like different human beings now. And 283 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,719 Speaker 7: I don't know if either of you, like, do you 284 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 7: ever listen to esther Perell or read. 285 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 9: I heard you mention her in every episode heard. 286 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: I literally heard her mention she's like a relationship expert. 287 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 7: I'm literally obsessed with her, and I'm not obsessed usually 288 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,560 Speaker 7: with like relationship experts. I usually think that it's all 289 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 7: full of shit. But she really is incredible. And she 290 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 7: says that like in your lifetime, in your marriage, you 291 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 7: can have like three or four different relationships in the 292 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 7: same marriage. 293 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, I believe that. 294 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 2: I feel like that as a person, continue growing hopefully 295 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 2: hopefully together, but maybe a part too, and then maybe 296 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:20,560 Speaker 2: we come. 297 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 7: Back and yeah, yes, so I feel like a little bit, 298 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 7: I'm not a little bit a lot. We're completely different 299 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,080 Speaker 7: people than we were, I mean for better for like. 300 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 9: Yeah, us, both of us very much. 301 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,599 Speaker 7: So I would like to, you know, do like a 302 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 7: vowur because I think my first time we did it, 303 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 7: we did it more as like a stage presentation. 304 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: You know. 305 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 7: I think it was more of like, this is what 306 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,559 Speaker 7: you're supposed to do. 307 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,959 Speaker 1: You remember your wedding, because that's what I hear. That's 308 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: what I hear. 309 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,079 Speaker 2: Like it's such a big thing because even my fucking 310 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 2: baby shower was a production. Okay, Like my mom was, 311 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 2: She's amazing, and she did this beautiful baby shower for 312 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 2: me so many people. I felt like I just was 313 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 2: talking the whole time that I don't even didn't eat 314 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:04,559 Speaker 2: one time. 315 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 1: I didn't like really get to, you know, enjoy it. 316 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 2: I don't remember. I barely remember it. I just I 317 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 2: got engaged that day. That's like the only thing I remember. 318 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: And that was it. 319 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 2: Like, and I was like, my friend she spent like 320 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars on her wedding and she's like, 321 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 2: I don't remember my wedding. 322 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted to be like a bomb ass party 323 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 3: that I've curated someone else's executed. But it's so fun 324 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 3: that I remember every every part of it. Yeah, Okay, Okay, 325 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:35,800 Speaker 3: Eric's turning the air on. I was never married. 326 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 1: You were never married. 327 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I me and married Daddy was No, No, it's. 328 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: Not Adam, do you need a pee? 329 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 9: I was just gonna pay, that's all. 330 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 1: He always has to pay pe. 331 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 9: Yeah a lot. 332 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: Okay, so just hold it. There's a pro. 333 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 7: State medication out there that wants a sponsor. 334 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: All the sponsors. 335 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 3: Me and my Davy daddy are high school sweethearts too, 336 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 3: And then we went to college. 337 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: You came back. I got a baby. 338 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 3: Bad idea, you know, no baby, good idea together, bad idea. 339 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: But yeah, I've never been married. Neither one of us 340 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 1: has ever been married. 341 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 2: No, I was engaged. I was planning a wedding, a 342 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 2: really extravagance. 343 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: Well I guess that in a lot of ways too. 344 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 2: No, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, 345 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 2: was not having my wedding. Actually, like I think about 346 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 2: it was a destination wedding too. I was gonna get 347 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 2: married in Jamaica, but it was gonna cost about like 348 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 2: seventy five thousand dollars really. 349 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 1: For like not even a lot. 350 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 2: Of people when twenty But now that I if I 351 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 2: were to be married again, I would be actually perfectly 352 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 2: fine getting married in my backyard, right, like just having 353 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 2: like an amazing party with friends and drinking. 354 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 1: And like, yeah, maybe we have like. 355 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 2: A little altar and we exchange our love and people 356 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 2: you know, cry or whatever the fuck we cry. 357 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 3: Well, you don't have any desire to be like legally married, 358 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 3: right I don't think I do either. 359 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 9: I don't. 360 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. 361 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 3: I would be okay unless the guy has really good 362 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 3: health insurance, in which case that's amazing. Yes, if we 363 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 3: don't plan linking the cut training time soon, then yes 364 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 3: I will legally marry you for your health insurance right 365 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,160 Speaker 3: and life insurance and life insurance. 366 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 2: But maybe if he makes a lot more money than me, ye, 367 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 2: get married, you know, no, no, no, actually I don't care. 368 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 1: We could get married legally. 369 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 7: But do you feel a little bit like I think 370 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 7: when we got married, I felt a little bit like 371 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 7: I needed to see like I needed to like have him. 372 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 7: It sounds terrible, but I feel like if we weren't married, 373 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 7: he wasn't like mine, you know what I mean? Like 374 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 7: that that there wasn't that There's something about being married 375 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 7: that sounds very valid, valid and legit. That like, if 376 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 7: you stray for the marriage, there's a lot more consequences. 377 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 2: Well, if you stray from the marriage, if you try 378 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 2: to come for my marriage, like this is like this 379 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 2: is like we've written this down in stone, this. 380 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 9: Is this is a little fucked up by the way, 381 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 9: as the guy outsider, you know what I'm saying, Like your. 382 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 3: Mind, yeah, terrified it let he married the government said 383 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 3: your mind. 384 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, can not cut you. 385 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 9: And try to control everything in and take the guy 386 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 9: in and now he's yours. 387 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,959 Speaker 7: Well, obviously there's a reason we feel like that. I mean, 388 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 7: that's not unfounded. I think there's a reason why women 389 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,159 Speaker 7: feel like they want to. You know, when I was 390 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,720 Speaker 7: young at the time too, I didn't you know, I 391 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,439 Speaker 7: didn't know as much. 392 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 1: But I think also that you feel like you're legal. 393 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 7: Like it's just a whole like the you want to 394 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 7: seal the deal, you want to get the package. 395 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: So that's all I mean. 396 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 2: I never wanted marriage, actually I never might. Neither one 397 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,479 Speaker 2: of my parents were married. I never had like an 398 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 2: example of marriage in my life. And even when I 399 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,360 Speaker 2: was proposed to, I was like, let's just elope and 400 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 2: he was like, no, I bought you this big ass ring. 401 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,119 Speaker 1: We're gonna celebrate the ring. Okay, we're doing that was 402 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 1: his word. 403 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,640 Speaker 2: Basically, he was like, I spent all this money, We're 404 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:56,680 Speaker 2: gonna sell this ring. We're doing something and also more money, 405 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 2: but also more than that, well you know how he is, 406 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 2: he's a show show and also he also like it. 407 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 2: But he also comes from his parents were married mostly 408 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 2: so he's like that's important to him, whereas for me, 409 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 2: and that's probably something he's always aspired to. 410 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 9: What was the proposal. 411 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 2: It's just in my baby shower. Oh okay, yeah, like 412 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,120 Speaker 2: he proposed me at my baby shower. We were together 413 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 2: for seven years I got pregnant, not together when I 414 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 2: got pregnant. 415 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,399 Speaker 1: Somehow, then I was like, Okay, I guess we're together again. 416 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,440 Speaker 7: And that was one of the best sex you ever 417 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 7: had when you weren't together. My god, right, oh really 418 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 7: that's why. 419 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, we were in Jamaica. That's why when my wedding 420 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: was in Jamaica, that's why I named. 421 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 9: Is that why you want to do that? Like fake? 422 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 9: Like you're at the bar? 423 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,439 Speaker 1: Yes, have you guys not done that? 424 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 9: Wait? 425 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,920 Speaker 1: Can you guys please do it now? 426 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:49,880 Speaker 9: No? 427 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:54,479 Speaker 3: Maybe later, maybe we'll facilitate looking for your acting coaches. 428 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's wanting to do that, So you're not gonna 429 00:18:59,760 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 1: do it? 430 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 9: Well, I feel like it would be silly, certain. 431 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 1: Fun, thank you, So I didn't even love should do 432 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: it anyway? Okay, So one of our listeners sush Friends. 433 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 3: She's actually a friend, but we met her through the podcast. 434 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,360 Speaker 3: She was telling us a long time ago. 435 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: I remember that. 436 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, how her and her dude will like get dressed separately, 437 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 3: uber separately to the same bar, and literally he'll approach 438 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 3: her at the bar and they'll go from there lot. 439 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 2: To different places and act like they don't know each 440 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 2: other and then like have sex in the bathroom like 441 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:34,360 Speaker 2: we'd like make out in the alleys and weird. 442 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 1: So that was one of my questions. 443 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 3: So when we had you guys on, of course we 444 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,119 Speaker 3: like researched you and did wordship but listen to so 445 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,640 Speaker 3: many podcasts, But one of my questions, okay, so one 446 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 3: of the biggest divorce number two of the biggest divorce 447 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 3: reasons are sexually not compatible in finances. So for you 448 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,400 Speaker 3: guys who've been together for seventeen years and have three children, 449 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:59,679 Speaker 3: you know, how, like what is your how do you 450 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 3: keep the sex life engaging and just the romance and this. 451 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 2: We have a question, if you don't mind me asking 452 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,680 Speaker 2: in regards to that. When you guys first started dating 453 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 2: with sex like the reason that like you had the 454 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 2: connection like was that. 455 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 9: No, not at all. As a matter of fact, Danielle 456 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 9: was way more into it at that point than I was. 457 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,399 Speaker 9: I don't think we ever talked about this yet on 458 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,880 Speaker 9: the podcast. Wow, you guys are getting like an exclusive Yeah, 459 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,399 Speaker 9: job job. You were way more into this. 460 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 1: Well. 461 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 7: I waited also, I waited a long time. 462 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,360 Speaker 9: Yeah, that makes sense. 463 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,479 Speaker 7: I was not like a sexually promiscuous person when I 464 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,879 Speaker 7: was when I was in colle first, when I went 465 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,880 Speaker 7: to college in New York City. 466 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,199 Speaker 1: It was the height of like STDs. 467 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 7: You know, there's like all this like every you know, 468 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 7: you watch like the morning like morning television, and halfway 469 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 7: through they'd be like aids. 470 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:49,119 Speaker 1: Yeah for real. It never real like you'd watch a 471 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,239 Speaker 1: drink out of her. 472 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 7: And I have like really bad OCD, like for real, 473 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 7: not like not like the. 474 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,760 Speaker 1: Actually this try how you can leave the house. 475 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,160 Speaker 7: I really have, really really But you. 476 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,400 Speaker 2: Just told me that you're in Jama's car looked the same, 477 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 2: So I'm confused. 478 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 1: So okay, So I don't have the kind of OCD 479 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: that he She has. 480 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 7: OCD where you're always organizing and for those listening, she's 481 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 7: a little mess. That's what I'm getting at, right, you 482 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 7: want to trade pictures? 483 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: Everybody? 484 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 7: Can I just move my shoes that light with the 485 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:30,680 Speaker 7: Razor's fine. 486 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 1: I feel way. 487 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,919 Speaker 7: More at home in that situation than I do, like 488 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 7: in the like We're staying at a hotel where everything 489 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,199 Speaker 7: is white, and I'm like, I need to spill some 490 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:41,360 Speaker 7: red wine on here. 491 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 1: It doesn't feel right. 492 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 7: But but we Uh, I don't know. 493 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,479 Speaker 1: I I have very bad OCD. 494 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 7: So like I think that I always knew that if 495 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 7: I had I was in New York City, if I 496 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 7: had like really promiscuous situations or whatever, the next month 497 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 7: for me was going to be like just worrying about it. 498 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,360 Speaker 7: So I didn't And then so I waited. 499 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: I did have sex with somebody before him, but one person, one. 500 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,919 Speaker 9: Person hold a little girl. 501 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I need to understand. 502 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 7: I know, I know what she was. How I was 503 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 7: twenty four when we got together. But like a lot 504 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 7: of people have had a lot of. 505 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,960 Speaker 9: Sex, well now, not twenty years ago. 506 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 1: That's not true. All my roommates and stuff in college 507 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: had a lot of sex. Everybody there's twenty Adam, everyone 508 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 1: accepted you. 509 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,640 Speaker 7: I had one of my best friends in the same 510 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,640 Speaker 7: way yeah, and I hooked like hooked up a lot, 511 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 7: which was you know, the thing that was the term 512 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 7: that was the term h wait. 513 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,160 Speaker 1: Like making out like making out. 514 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 9: I'm like I would make out like in the car. 515 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: Well, I'm definitely scamming, scamming, have you petting? 516 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,879 Speaker 7: But then I just I don't know. When we got together, 517 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,920 Speaker 7: I guess I was sort of like, Okay, well now 518 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,919 Speaker 7: I'm ready to you know, and I think he had 519 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,959 Speaker 7: already done it all. So he was sort of like, 520 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 7: all right, well, let's just because his for his first 521 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,760 Speaker 7: words to me the first night we went out together, 522 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 7: when we went back to my apartment, but what. 523 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:13,240 Speaker 9: Are you going to say? 524 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 7: He said, let's keep things juvenile. 525 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 1: And I was like, here, I am ready to like 526 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 1: do it. 527 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 9: She's ready to go, and I'm like I'm chilling. I 528 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,400 Speaker 9: was like, I want to take it slow, like I 529 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 9: like you yeah, you know, like I don't want to, 530 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,200 Speaker 9: you know, like done what I've done in the past, 531 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 9: and like get out there and do it. 532 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 1: He's trying to be a good guy. DT Yeah right exactly. 533 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,160 Speaker 9: Did she line? I was just trying to be like, let's, 534 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,440 Speaker 9: you know, yeah, take it slowt Why did you cover 535 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,719 Speaker 9: the Mic, I didn't know what you're going to say, 536 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 9: so I was trying to I can't wait. 537 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: I'm trying to pick up what you said that you 538 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 1: would have had to come here. Apparently he remember some ship. 539 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:50,240 Speaker 9: You don't. 540 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: Apparently, She's like, why did you do that? 541 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,400 Speaker 7: So so yeah, So after all that, like being married 542 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 7: to the same person for seventeen years, short of like 543 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 7: going out and finding another partner, meeting your spouse in 544 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,679 Speaker 7: a public place and pretending to be somebody else sounds 545 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 7: really great. 546 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 1: I think so too. Yeah, thank you. I mean you don't. 547 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 1: I mean I think it's intimidating. If you're like I 548 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,160 Speaker 1: feel like I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, it will 549 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,160 Speaker 1: be ridiculous. It's gonna be to you. Guys are gonna 550 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: likes Anna great character. 551 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 9: That's silly, get that perfect for this. 552 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,480 Speaker 1: No, it's absolutely silly. 553 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 2: But I feel like you have to be a little 554 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 2: silly because it's so it gets it half it gets 555 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,879 Speaker 2: I would imagine. I mean, even in seven years that 556 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 2: I was with my partner, Like, I'm like, okay, it's. 557 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 1: The same ship. Yeah, you have to ye turn me 558 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:34,280 Speaker 1: over all right? 559 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, oh, put your don't fucking do that. 560 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 2: I told you to fucking do that. I told you 561 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 2: don't put your tongue in my ear? How many motherfucking times? 562 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 2: Oh I don't, Like, Yeah. 563 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:49,239 Speaker 9: Do I ever do that? 564 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,399 Speaker 1: You haven't done a long time. 565 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:51,720 Speaker 9: Like twenty years long time. 566 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 3: Maybe the contrary I was thinking for a minute, I 567 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,840 Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, bit just only had sex 568 00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 3: with two. 569 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 1: People, Like that's crazy. 570 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 3: But also I can say, as much as I don't 571 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 3: really have a good relationship with my baby daddy, the 572 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,920 Speaker 3: one good thing about our relationship was we had bomb 573 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 3: sex and we were dating since high school, so you 574 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 3: would think that things would get. 575 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:16,719 Speaker 1: Born was good old. 576 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 3: But the perk of you guys being knowing each other 577 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 3: twenty years, being married seventeen years, is we could do 578 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 3: shit like that and I didn't fucking matter, like maybe 579 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 3: like going out and like we had we had, we 580 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 3: we can. I was the comfortability allowed us to explore 581 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 3: sexually in a space where the sex was good. And 582 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 3: also there's nothing I can do that I feel strange 583 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:40,640 Speaker 3: or embarrassed to. 584 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 1: Do because you know me, I know you. 585 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:47,440 Speaker 3: And but that's with most marriages, right, gets so suck 586 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 3: in the routine of how they have sex, like. 587 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 9: Well that's that's actually a perfect transition because I'd say, 588 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,920 Speaker 9: for we've been married seventeen years, fifteen years of our 589 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 9: marriage was comfortable straight. 590 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 7: Up, No, not fifteen years wait comfortable, I mean honestly, 591 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 7: like no, wes probably been a good like eight years 592 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:05,719 Speaker 7: since we started. 593 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:12,120 Speaker 9: Really like two thirds of our marriage was comfortable, missionary, 594 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 9: nice sex, you know, and then we found our group. 595 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 9: But it took a long time. 596 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 1: It took a lot of years, a lot of like 597 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,200 Speaker 1: a lot of talking like this. 598 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,399 Speaker 9: Is no, no, not at all. Actually, how did it happen? 599 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 9: Do you know? 600 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,119 Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't I don't know. 601 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 3: Was there like like a mark, a moment, a turning 602 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,680 Speaker 3: point where were like, okay, well let's have freak your sex. 603 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:30,960 Speaker 1: You know. 604 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 9: No, my god, I wish I had better answer. 605 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:38,159 Speaker 7: I know, I don't know, like you guys act entry no. No, 606 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 7: But we definitely had a certain documentary I don't know, 607 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 7: I don't know. 608 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 9: We were so we didn't watch porn together, we didn't like, 609 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,639 Speaker 9: we didn't talk about sex. We didn't like. It was 610 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,639 Speaker 9: just like, okay, we went out, we had drunks, we 611 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 9: had a good night, let's have sex, like very basic, 612 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 9: very whatever and then all of a sudden, but let's 613 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,240 Speaker 9: just like step it up. But we didn't talk about it. 614 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 1: Like it was happened. Just happens. It's like your age 615 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,719 Speaker 1: and like the evolution of your saving. 616 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 7: Personally, I think we started also like as we were 617 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,280 Speaker 7: going through ship, I think we started to like feel 618 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 7: closer to each other. 619 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 1: And trust each other more. And I think that sort 620 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:14,040 Speaker 1: of was part of it. 621 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:15,120 Speaker 4: Is like. 622 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,919 Speaker 1: We also like we live in suburban New Jersey. 623 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,359 Speaker 7: Like it's not like, you know, it's not in La 624 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 7: it's not in New York City, Like it's not there's 625 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,840 Speaker 7: not a lot of outlets to you know, you're not 626 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 7: going to like sex doors and you know that kind 627 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 7: of like it's it's very mainstream like quote unquote vanilla 628 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,520 Speaker 7: what they call it, like sex you know it's. 629 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,359 Speaker 1: Like behind closed the doors. So those are the places 630 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,400 Speaker 1: that have the weirdest thing. 631 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 7: Well, now we've heard now that you're your frequent so 632 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 7: we've heard, so we've done. 633 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 9: So we've done, and so we've heard in the area. 634 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,440 Speaker 1: What can you tell us, but like what you've done, 635 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 1: that's what's vanilla and Okay. 636 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,800 Speaker 9: So stuff we've like learned that we really like that Yeah, 637 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 9: I'm gonna go to the bathroom while she talks about this. 638 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 1: Side note, we're over forty. We have to feel a lot. 639 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,000 Speaker 9: We do have to feel. I was just kidding because 640 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,640 Speaker 9: because you were talking to talk about things that. 641 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: It is very sexually open. I don't feel so. Yeah. 642 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 7: So I mean we've like we've we're into like we 643 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 7: like choking. 644 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 9: Choking is our favorite. 645 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:26,480 Speaker 7: Yeah too, Spanking is a big deal. I have a 646 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 7: good ask for spanking. 647 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 9: We talk about choking, but like, tell me, why do 648 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 9: you guys? Like, like, how does it work for you? 649 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,639 Speaker 9: How do you why do you like the choking? Okay? 650 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 2: For me, like, I feel like I'm a very dominant 651 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 2: person in my life, but sexually I like to be 652 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,560 Speaker 2: dominated and so like the choking thing makes I like 653 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 2: watching him be in control of me. And I also 654 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 2: like pain a little bit. I'd like to experiments with 655 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,280 Speaker 2: like my limits and pain. 656 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,959 Speaker 9: So do you like more being the choker? The chokey, 657 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 9: the choky? Okay? 658 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:56,840 Speaker 1: Have you ever done choking? 659 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:57,200 Speaker 9: Yes? 660 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: Okay? And I enjoy it, but not as much as 661 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: I enjoy being choked. 662 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,640 Speaker 9: Okay, what about you? 663 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 1: I like both. 664 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 7: I mean I'd rather be choked than choke it like 665 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,560 Speaker 7: some weird like women like, we just want to be 666 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 7: dominated by a man. 667 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:15,320 Speaker 9: To be honest with you, because I love being I 668 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 9: love like that. She loves that. But when she does 669 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 9: it to me, I'm like, Okay, it's kind of cool. 670 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 9: I like it, but I really want to do it 671 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 9: to her instead. 672 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 2: You know, well, because you're supposed to be the choker, Yeah, 673 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,800 Speaker 2: that makes you don't have to choke. 674 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,239 Speaker 1: But that's when we no. 675 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 9: But but it feels cool, is the guy like, it 676 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:33,920 Speaker 9: does feel good. 677 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 1: It feels like you're dominating. 678 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 9: I guess it feels more. Yeah, dominating. 679 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,520 Speaker 1: I feel like that's a lot of fantasy. Most men 680 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:40,560 Speaker 1: want to dominate. 681 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,720 Speaker 7: It's not like most matter will or at least they 682 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 7: want to admit, like I want to be I want 683 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 7: to not be dominant. 684 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 3: Well, I've come across those men, so have I and 685 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,040 Speaker 3: I can switch. 686 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 1: They call it a switch. I've heard this is my 687 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:54,960 Speaker 1: king trainings? 688 00:29:55,600 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 2: What even doing King trainings behind my ba like you know, 689 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 2: Jasmine King Noir, we had this. 690 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 1: We had these Jasmine and King. We had the Lion 691 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:08,440 Speaker 1: King thing. 692 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 2: It's a little X raying like they're porn stars and 693 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 2: their parents and we had them on a podcast because 694 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 2: they were like sex positive parents obviously there how could 695 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 2: you not be? 696 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,920 Speaker 1: They talk about, you know, porn and parents. 697 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 7: And there are a couple who they both are and yeah, 698 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:26,760 Speaker 7: they do a lot of kings the. 699 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 2: Porn porn parenting, Okay, and they are they do a 700 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 2: lot of kink trainings. 701 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:41,719 Speaker 1: And so that's why I said that I listen. I 702 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 1: think it's all great. I right anyway, I like to switch. 703 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 3: I can be dominant, and I can I can also 704 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 3: be I'd also like to be dominated. Actually today I 705 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 3: was just talking about I had sex with young Bay 706 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 3: next month last month. This is like, wait, who a 707 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 3: young guy that lives in New Jersey. Oh, okay, that 708 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,000 Speaker 3: I was dating for like a lot of like you know, 709 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 3: I don't know. Throughout the podcast, we call him young Bakeses. 710 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 3: We don't want to tell their names anyways. 711 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 9: Makes sense. 712 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 3: We kind of had had like we had good sacks. 713 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 3: But in my opinion, it was kind of vanilla. I 714 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 3: thought he could, like it could come up a bit, 715 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,440 Speaker 3: but I'm older than him, and also I'm I'm very 716 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:21,080 Speaker 3: sexually open. 717 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,920 Speaker 9: I'm very freaky surprising. I just met you today, but 718 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 9: I'm very surprised by that, I don't. 719 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 1: Really appreciate that. Don't know what any of this means. 720 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,240 Speaker 1: I mean, she has a unicorn neckles on. I still 721 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 1: was from my child, but I think like to be. Oh. 722 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 3: Anyway, we were having sacks like right before I left, 723 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 3: and he was mad because I told him was like 724 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 3: making out with some other. 725 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,240 Speaker 1: Guy or some Russian guy, and he I could tell 726 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:49,920 Speaker 1: him he had sex. 727 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 3: He got really dominant, like got really aggressive and I 728 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:53,800 Speaker 3: could tell he was like taking out of me. 729 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,120 Speaker 1: But also I kind of liked it, even though I 730 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: could tell us personal. 731 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 3: He means this, he's mad, right, but it was interesting 732 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,240 Speaker 3: because it was believable, So I liked it. So like, 733 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 3: if I'm dominated in a way that I can believe you, 734 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 3: I can get with it. But if you're not committing committing, 735 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 3: I can't and then I'll be the dominator and my 736 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 3: things can come out, you know, so I can go 737 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:17,000 Speaker 3: either way. 738 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:22,760 Speaker 9: Got it is that like a Russian thing us what 739 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:27,360 Speaker 9: they like dominant like well, because we both come from Russian. 740 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 3: That Russian guy that I was making out with in Philly, 741 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,600 Speaker 3: he was choking me in the bar while making out, 742 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 3: and I was like, oh my god, I found my mate, 743 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 3: she did. 744 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 1: She showed me his picture and everything. Yeah, right, it's 745 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,960 Speaker 1: probably not my mate. But maybe it is a Russian thing. 746 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: I don't know. 747 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 7: It might be a control thing too, you know, to like, 748 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 7: you know, give give control over or to feel like 749 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 7: you have it. And I think for us in our 750 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 7: marriage has probably been sort of a it's a back 751 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 7: and forth. I think that's one thing that works, is that, 752 00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 7: like the we definitely have a back back and forth. 753 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:04,200 Speaker 9: Yeah, well, I think it's number one, it's fun, and number. 754 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 1: Two it's it feels naughty. 755 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:10,320 Speaker 9: It feels naughty. And number three like it's just like 756 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 9: it's a cool feeling, like you lose that like sense 757 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 9: of like you're. 758 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:19,640 Speaker 1: About to no, I'm gonna come exactly right. 759 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 9: Yeah, it's a confusion, it's a really cool feeling. So 760 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 9: like why not. 761 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 2: But I think, like Jamila was saying, though, like like 762 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,479 Speaker 2: most I think I feel like most of my married friends, 763 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,840 Speaker 2: well not most, just a few of them, like they 764 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 2: struggle with intimacy after a while, either they thought like 765 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,560 Speaker 2: they knew their struggle. They knew that their their partner 766 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 2: may have not been the best sex of their life, 767 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 2: but they married them anyway in hopes that they could 768 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,959 Speaker 2: improve and it hasn't been improved, and now it's an 769 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 2: issue in their marriage, like how do we like grow 770 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 2: from that or how do we know how do we 771 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,520 Speaker 2: have that conversation? Is sex like a non negotiable in marriage. 772 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 2: I was having this conversation yesterday, like this guy that 773 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,200 Speaker 2: I used to date we're now friends, and I was 774 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,200 Speaker 2: asking him, like, you're but you're non negotiables like in 775 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,240 Speaker 2: a relation bers and he had so many like he's 776 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 2: gonna be single the rest of his life. 777 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,319 Speaker 1: Thank God, I'm not dating anymore. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, 778 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: just blessed sugar. 779 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 2: But he said sex and I said I agree, and 780 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 2: his friend he said sex is not He's like, I 781 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:19,359 Speaker 2: can take having mediocre sex in my marriage as long 782 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 2: as she has this, this and that. And I'm like, yeah, 783 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,600 Speaker 2: that's what she said. What Yeah, he said, I can 784 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 2: have decent like media. He also said that he's never 785 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,160 Speaker 2: he's always had like good sex, and I was like, 786 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,800 Speaker 2: what kind of sex are you having because I've definitely 787 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,839 Speaker 2: had bad There's a difference between bad and good sex, 788 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 2: even like having bad sex with someone that has good sex. 789 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:37,400 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just you. 790 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,880 Speaker 2: Guys aren't in sync that day, you know, like I 791 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 2: just like, like, obviously your sex life has grown throughout Yeah, 792 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,800 Speaker 2: for sure. I mean obviously you don't know exactly why 793 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:48,880 Speaker 2: or how it happened. 794 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 9: Well, yeah, it took a long time, but it happened, 795 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 9: and so there rested, you know, aggressively. 796 00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,880 Speaker 1: I just now watched porn togay, No, he's not. 797 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 7: I watch a lot more poor than he does. I 798 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 7: think we've watched with friends a few times. You don't 799 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:15,440 Speaker 7: remember because you're probably drunk. I'm not selling anybody down 800 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,719 Speaker 7: the river while we're doing this, but we definitely have 801 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 7: for us, I think, yes it is. I will tell 802 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 7: you after exactly who it was. But I think that 803 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,879 Speaker 7: we have a willingness also to be open with each 804 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,000 Speaker 7: other and talk about it like we do with everything 805 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,680 Speaker 7: in our marriage, which is why it's worked. 806 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,200 Speaker 1: You know, there's been a lot of sucking up. 807 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:45,680 Speaker 7: There's been a lot of we don't know what what's 808 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,360 Speaker 7: going to bring next or anything. But like, communication is 809 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,480 Speaker 7: definitely key, and we're not both always the best communicators, 810 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,520 Speaker 7: but we're open to working on it. And I think 811 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 7: as far as sex goes, like even in we just 812 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 7: did an episode on our podcast, we were talking about 813 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,839 Speaker 7: and I was like a little bit, I'm fearful of 814 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 7: sometimes doing stuff because I'm worried that like you're like 815 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,239 Speaker 7: Adam is going to research three quarters of the way 816 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 7: and like try to figure the rest out for himself. 817 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 1: And I'm sort of like that scares me. 818 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,399 Speaker 7: I would probably do a lot more, but I don't 819 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:19,520 Speaker 7: want to like get injured. 820 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 9: How much more? Wait? Wait? 821 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,040 Speaker 1: Wait, wait, what do you mean there's a lot more? 822 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,399 Speaker 7: Like okay, so when I okay, So there's certain things 823 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,840 Speaker 7: that you you before you do it, you sort of 824 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,439 Speaker 7: look into it or you you know. 825 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,879 Speaker 1: Like I think it's true. 826 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:36,400 Speaker 9: There's things I've googled, right, Like she wants me to 827 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,000 Speaker 9: read books before we do something sexual. 828 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,360 Speaker 7: I want it, okay, I want you to realize like 829 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,120 Speaker 7: that there's certain steps that you take for certain things 830 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:49,520 Speaker 7: like talking like anal, like like lube, Like when we 831 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 7: first tried anal, which was a long time ago and 832 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,120 Speaker 7: we didn't know better, but like he didn't try lube. Yes, 833 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:59,560 Speaker 7: So now I'm like I never want I want her. Yeah, 834 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,479 Speaker 7: So now like I never want to do it again 835 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,400 Speaker 7: because I have this like scarring experience and I have 836 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:06,680 Speaker 7: friends who are like, no, try it. 837 00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,959 Speaker 1: Again, and I'm like, I'm not fucking try it again. 838 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:09,600 Speaker 1: Try again. 839 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,759 Speaker 7: I know a lot of people say that, but my 840 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,319 Speaker 7: whole thing is like I feel like, Okay, there's a 841 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,160 Speaker 7: lot of other things that we do and or fun 842 00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:20,879 Speaker 7: and everything like that. But my point is that had 843 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:25,319 Speaker 7: he taken ten fucking minutes and researched it before, and 844 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:29,400 Speaker 7: I love you, but you have to know men do research. 845 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 1: But that's a problem. 846 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:35,240 Speaker 9: It's not a problem. It's like it's. 847 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:41,919 Speaker 7: Literally historically proven, it's literally fact. I don't want okay, 848 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,439 Speaker 7: but now that he knows that researching is a thing, 849 00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,520 Speaker 7: from now on, that should be the. 850 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 1: Way it goes. 851 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,360 Speaker 9: So when we're out, we're having a good time, we're drinking, 852 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:57,960 Speaker 9: we're eating, I'm gonna like hold on because there's my phone, right, 853 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,080 Speaker 9: how do you wait? 854 00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:03,560 Speaker 1: Going down? 855 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,480 Speaker 7: It does take the spontaneet it out of it. I 856 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,560 Speaker 7: will say it does, and then you're like, you know what, 857 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:10,359 Speaker 7: let's hold off. 858 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,359 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make you wait. Let's hold off on that 859 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,880 Speaker 1: and we'll do it another time, yeah, or research together, 860 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,439 Speaker 1: or I hadn't done the research either. 861 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:26,760 Speaker 7: So I'm taking fifty, I'm taking twenty responsibility. 862 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:31,880 Speaker 2: If you could like give yourself advice like your former 863 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 2: married self and advice. 864 00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 9: What would it be, get out the out of here, 865 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:43,440 Speaker 9: run run like no, of course not. My advice would 866 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:47,200 Speaker 9: be slow down because you would not allow that. 867 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,120 Speaker 1: But when we were first engaged, yes, that's correct, slow 868 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 1: the fuck. 869 00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,680 Speaker 2: Down, which she wanted to be married like family, Yeah, 870 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,280 Speaker 2: figure it out like she wants. 871 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,319 Speaker 9: She had this picture perfect thing in her mind of 872 00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,759 Speaker 9: how it works, how it's supposed to be. And I 873 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:06,360 Speaker 9: had no picture on my mind, no research. I was 874 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:10,759 Speaker 9: seventy five percent. She calls it the atom seven. I 875 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,840 Speaker 9: would say, slow down literally drop. 876 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,319 Speaker 7: Okay, ye did I get on the computer that. 877 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:21,360 Speaker 1: I'm like concerned, it's really hot, you're safety. 878 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:22,640 Speaker 9: I'm gonna move this over here. 879 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,640 Speaker 1: We're from New Jersey, We're not used to that. I 880 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:25,600 Speaker 1: don't know if that's healthy. 881 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:30,279 Speaker 9: Yeah, perfect for me. I don't know how they are, 882 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,000 Speaker 9: but great for me. 883 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:34,160 Speaker 1: That's take. 884 00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,920 Speaker 9: That's like our our we have paper shades and our 885 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,520 Speaker 9: people you get those honeycomb. 886 00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:45,680 Speaker 1: Like and that's what we have on our window. 887 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 2: If you have. 888 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 7: Go have her. 889 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,719 Speaker 1: We're back and there's no kids here. There's no kids 890 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:15,480 Speaker 1: from the interruption. Accept our bladders and these martinis. Martinis. 891 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,960 Speaker 1: We finally ordered a. 892 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:21,000 Speaker 9: Food pre menopause and a dog walking into the walls. 893 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,360 Speaker 1: Erica's blind fucking dogs. 894 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,440 Speaker 9: I know, it's so cute, such a cute dog. We 895 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:27,839 Speaker 9: miss her. 896 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:28,520 Speaker 1: I miss her. 897 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,520 Speaker 2: She looks as like a puppy, but she's not a 898 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:36,360 Speaker 2: puppy person. 899 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:36,759 Speaker 3: I am. 900 00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,719 Speaker 1: The dog is not a puppy faces a puppy face. 901 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,200 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what a bitch. 902 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,000 Speaker 9: You got the scarf on so it looks like a 903 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,120 Speaker 9: puppy other than the scar got her dog, I got 904 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,479 Speaker 9: her groom, I got the door. 905 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:54,520 Speaker 2: I care about her and ship, yeah and way okay, 906 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,480 Speaker 2: So we enough about sex, because I mean, we can 907 00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:00,920 Speaker 2: talk about that all day, but let's talk about like 908 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,520 Speaker 2: marriage ship because me and Mila are both not married. 909 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,359 Speaker 1: I was almost married once we hoped to someday. Maybe 910 00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:08,360 Speaker 1: I should have kept. 911 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,040 Speaker 2: The ring, but that's a whole other conversation that I'm 912 00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,440 Speaker 2: having a lot of regrets about, especially since learning that 913 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,120 Speaker 2: there's some sort of business where I could send in 914 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,560 Speaker 2: my ring and go on a trip. 915 00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:20,799 Speaker 7: Because that would have been a fucking trip. What did 916 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,759 Speaker 7: you say you didn't want and you gave it back? 917 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,400 Speaker 7: I got mad and I was like, fuck you, and 918 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,319 Speaker 7: I gave him the ring, and then all my friends 919 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 7: like why. 920 00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,839 Speaker 1: Did you do that? Like what were you doing? Because 921 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 1: it was a nice ring, Well. 922 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,359 Speaker 9: You should have switched it. I wonder if he saw 923 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:38,319 Speaker 9: you with the fake ring the real ring. 924 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,520 Speaker 7: I was actually really I was wondering if he still 925 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,840 Speaker 7: had the ring, Like, and why. 926 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,880 Speaker 1: Why are you wondering that? Because how long were you engaged? 927 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,080 Speaker 1: Like two and a half years a long. 928 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:53,840 Speaker 8: Time, that's typical, not for you longer than we were 929 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:58,640 Speaker 8: together for seven engaged for two longer than yeah, well. 930 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,399 Speaker 2: Because there was like we got engaged and then ship 931 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 2: went down. I was like, oh, yeah, no, we're not 932 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,160 Speaker 2: ready for marriage, and so about two and a half 933 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,080 Speaker 2: years to get ready, and then I started planning and 934 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,960 Speaker 2: then we broke up, and then I stupidly gave. 935 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 1: The ring back and we're here. I am, but I 936 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:13,600 Speaker 1: have a long podcast. 937 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,719 Speaker 2: But I actually wondered, like, because he has like new 938 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,640 Speaker 2: jewelry and obviously like here you traded. 939 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,040 Speaker 1: I think he traded and gotten. That's what guys do. 940 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,560 Speaker 1: That's what I didn't want to. 941 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 7: I was gonna says, last thing you would do it 942 00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:33,279 Speaker 7: traded and get new jewelry, jewelry, for he had like 943 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:33,879 Speaker 7: a new bar. 944 00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:40,400 Speaker 9: Yeah, talk about your jewelry. 945 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:42,919 Speaker 1: I got this tattoo so he didn't have to I haven't. 946 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,920 Speaker 9: I haven't so I don't have to wear jewelry. 947 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:50,080 Speaker 7: Wait is that really a thing? So Adam has a 948 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,000 Speaker 7: D tattooed on his ring finger? 949 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,319 Speaker 9: Yeah, so no jewelry, no ring because I don't like 950 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:56,080 Speaker 9: wearing jewelry. 951 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,520 Speaker 1: Do you know he wants me to get Wait? Wait, 952 00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:59,640 Speaker 1: do you own a ring? 953 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:00,479 Speaker 9: I did? 954 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:01,319 Speaker 1: Did you lose it? 955 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:01,719 Speaker 9: No? 956 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,400 Speaker 1: You still have it? Maybe you don't know where it's 957 00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:09,360 Speaker 1: still of it? Do you have a wedding ring? I? 958 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:16,320 Speaker 7: I okay, okay, so my ring story Martin. 959 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:21,959 Speaker 9: Away, she does not wear her wedding ring, Like, no. 960 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,600 Speaker 1: That's a lie. No, I okay. 961 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,439 Speaker 7: So first of all, my wedding ring is like, wait 962 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,640 Speaker 7: a minute, when you're when you're twenty four and you 963 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,520 Speaker 7: get married and then you're forty two, you're not the 964 00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,840 Speaker 7: same size that you were when you were which is fine. 965 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,799 Speaker 7: But I had he actually bought me a ring a 966 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,120 Speaker 7: few years ago that was like a really really really 967 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:44,399 Speaker 7: nice ring upgrade, a huge upgrade. It was really nice, 968 00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:45,640 Speaker 7: like and I had begged for it. 969 00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:47,719 Speaker 1: Kind of you're acting like you lost it whereas it. 970 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:51,040 Speaker 7: No, I didn't use it, I didn't lose it. I 971 00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:56,000 Speaker 7: started to get very guilt, feel guilty that I wanted 972 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,960 Speaker 7: it so badly. 973 00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:59,840 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like he got it for me? 974 00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:06,040 Speaker 9: Why well I sold her original and. 975 00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 1: I begged for it. It was all me. 976 00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:07,800 Speaker 9: It was all me. 977 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:08,600 Speaker 1: I begged for it. 978 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,480 Speaker 7: I wanted a huge like I wanted I wanted a 979 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:13,520 Speaker 7: New Jersey housewife ray kind of. 980 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was that influenced by your friends. Well, I know, 981 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 1: I think for the actual Bravo. 982 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,480 Speaker 7: I think it was more like he buys himself such 983 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,040 Speaker 7: nice stuff, and he likes nice cars, and he likes 984 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,680 Speaker 7: nice televisions and all this stuff. I think it was 985 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,480 Speaker 7: proof that he was willing to get me something that 986 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:33,840 Speaker 7: was as nice as what he gets himself. 987 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:37,200 Speaker 1: Which like is not me at all, Like I'm not. 988 00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:39,640 Speaker 1: You were going through something at that time. I was 989 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,439 Speaker 1: going through something. He needed proof. 990 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,640 Speaker 7: It was, yes, I needed a proof that he was 991 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:49,800 Speaker 7: like willing to spend maybe yeah, that he was willing 992 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,320 Speaker 7: to spend on me what he spends on this other stuff. 993 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:52,840 Speaker 1: Why are you. 994 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:56,040 Speaker 4: So so? 995 00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,040 Speaker 1: But then after you got it, you felt guilty about it, 996 00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:58,839 Speaker 1: And if I. 997 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,719 Speaker 7: Got it, you know after I got don't wear it. 998 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,920 Speaker 7: I don't I should get something. 999 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:09,799 Speaker 9: Wait, wait, I got you a beautiful ring you might 1000 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,279 Speaker 9: have to wear. I got you a beautiful ring that 1001 00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:17,960 Speaker 9: was way more beautiful than I think a diamond like 1002 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:19,000 Speaker 9: an engagement ring. 1003 00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,920 Speaker 7: Yes, ring, Yeah, a very cool ring that was at 1004 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:24,719 Speaker 7: an engagement ring. 1005 00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:29,040 Speaker 9: It was like a spiral into diamonds. 1006 00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:33,239 Speaker 1: Like, No, mine was all about the proof. Mine was 1007 00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,000 Speaker 1: all about the So that's so funny because as women, 1008 00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:37,480 Speaker 1: that's what we searched for and then we get it. 1009 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:42,640 Speaker 7: And then right, so she got it, She's like, he's, yeah, 1010 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,160 Speaker 7: I was embarrassed by it once I got it. Once 1011 00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:47,000 Speaker 7: I got it, I was sort of like, because most 1012 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,640 Speaker 7: of my friends are not like we, most of my 1013 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:54,080 Speaker 7: friends can't afford rings like that, and I was sort 1014 00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:55,440 Speaker 7: of like I was going out to dinner and I 1015 00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:55,920 Speaker 7: was sort. 1016 00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,120 Speaker 1: Of like, who the fuck am I? 1017 00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:57,319 Speaker 4: Like? 1018 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:57,920 Speaker 1: Why am I? 1019 00:45:58,480 --> 00:45:58,560 Speaker 4: What? 1020 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:00,919 Speaker 1: Why am I? Who? What? 1021 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,719 Speaker 7: Like I just couldn't even deal with having it. So 1022 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,279 Speaker 7: I told him, I'm like, I want you to either 1023 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,040 Speaker 7: keep it and once it accumulates. 1024 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:10,239 Speaker 1: Value, sell it. I didn't know. I don't even know. 1025 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:16,480 Speaker 1: I think you should for a while, I work for 1026 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:17,400 Speaker 1: I really. 1027 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,200 Speaker 9: Do because she doesn't enjoy it. 1028 00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,919 Speaker 1: I don't. It makes any guilty and it's. 1029 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,560 Speaker 9: There's no they don't like increase in value. 1030 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,719 Speaker 2: Could you get a few more things, like maybe get 1031 00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:30,520 Speaker 2: some airings, like if you sold it something, I would 1032 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,040 Speaker 2: really rather have the cat if. 1033 00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:40,799 Speaker 7: You sold it, are going to get at she's going to. 1034 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,640 Speaker 2: Get in marriage, like because I feel like like even now, 1035 00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,520 Speaker 2: like I was planning an expensive wedding, now, if I 1036 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,160 Speaker 2: had the opportunity to get married again, I obviously I 1037 00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,160 Speaker 2: wouldn't do that again. And like I'm sure now you 1038 00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,080 Speaker 2: guys want to do that again too, And just like 1039 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:56,120 Speaker 2: the ring now cash is more important to you, like 1040 00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,360 Speaker 2: finances like those become more important to you as you 1041 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,880 Speaker 2: get older, especial that we have three kids. 1042 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, why you did that to yourself? But that's great. 1043 00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:09,120 Speaker 9: He wanted you, I want a sex one? 1044 00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:10,000 Speaker 1: What you. 1045 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:12,200 Speaker 4: So? 1046 00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:13,160 Speaker 9: I can say that easily? 1047 00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:14,479 Speaker 1: Yeah? 1048 00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:18,879 Speaker 7: Okay, so she shot was that your choice? Oh no, 1049 00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,600 Speaker 7: you have to have to take I told him I 1050 00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,399 Speaker 7: wouldn't have sex with them. Did it take a lot 1051 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,120 Speaker 7: of convincing or was that that was it? 1052 00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:29,440 Speaker 1: The sex? No more? And that was no? Was it painful? 1053 00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:32,000 Speaker 7: I literally said to you, I will not have sex 1054 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:33,320 Speaker 7: with you until you have a sect to me the 1055 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:33,680 Speaker 7: next day. 1056 00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:38,560 Speaker 3: You well, then there's then did it hurt? 1057 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:40,640 Speaker 1: What is that like? 1058 00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:46,000 Speaker 9: Actually, the recovery was not comfortable. A lot of frozen piece, 1059 00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:49,920 Speaker 9: frozen like like like the bag of frozen piece. 1060 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:56,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, actual piece. 1061 00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:58,640 Speaker 1: Wouldn't get out like. 1062 00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:03,000 Speaker 9: Bagged frozen piece. Got it because a little swelling, a 1063 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,480 Speaker 9: little black and blue. Four days later I was fined. Yeah, 1064 00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:12,000 Speaker 9: I would totally recommend it six days less. 1065 00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:13,840 Speaker 1: Than four days, you said, lest Yeah. 1066 00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:17,120 Speaker 9: I would recommend it to anybody thinking about it. In 1067 00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:17,600 Speaker 9: a second. 1068 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:18,960 Speaker 1: It's also changed. 1069 00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:22,239 Speaker 9: Our sex life because you don't worried about geting Number one, 1070 00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:24,600 Speaker 9: we had the amount of kids we wanted, So that's stuff. 1071 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,400 Speaker 1: Well apparently not because you want because no, I didn't 1072 00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 1: really want more, kind of did I didn't? 1073 00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,480 Speaker 9: No, I don't really want more, Like I like babies, 1074 00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,680 Speaker 9: Like if I could have another baby and be like. 1075 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:43,800 Speaker 2: Goodbye, right, basically just grandchildren in the next maybe eighteen years. 1076 00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,560 Speaker 1: That's scary. 1077 00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:51,200 Speaker 9: That's scary. But no, I would totally recommend doing it 1078 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,600 Speaker 9: to any guy thinking about wanting to have fun sex 1079 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:58,040 Speaker 9: with their wives. Mm hmm, without the possibility of pregnancy. 1080 00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,239 Speaker 1: No, and birth control fucks me up. 1081 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:06,880 Speaker 2: I mean I'm not on it, so I don't know, 1082 00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,440 Speaker 2: but like I was on it, but and it did 1083 00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,080 Speaker 2: suck me up, but like I feel like it made me. 1084 00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,480 Speaker 1: I was totally fine for a few years, and suddenly 1085 00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:12,960 Speaker 1: I was like. 1086 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,480 Speaker 9: Well, taking a pill can fuck you up in any 1087 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,120 Speaker 9: other ways. It's not right for everybody where. Damn. I 1088 00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,200 Speaker 9: want to sound like a feminist here, but why not 1089 00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,880 Speaker 9: having me for a guy? It's just a snip and 1090 00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:27,520 Speaker 9: a clip, like it's it's kind of scientific, like just 1091 00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:30,680 Speaker 9: it's you can reverse, Yes, you can't. The sperm is 1092 00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,200 Speaker 9: just not going to go through, and that's it. For 1093 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,360 Speaker 9: a pill can suck up the girl? They can, you know. 1094 00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,960 Speaker 7: I don't like three sections. I was sort of like, 1095 00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,640 Speaker 7: I'm done doing this to my body. Yeah, so you 1096 00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:45,000 Speaker 7: didn't you had because I did not get my tubes tied. 1097 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:46,239 Speaker 1: I was no, But I mean, like you. 1098 00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:48,880 Speaker 7: Never had a bad number of no no after you 1099 00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:50,000 Speaker 7: get a first sea section. 1100 00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,640 Speaker 9: Well, you tried with the first and it didn't. 1101 00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,720 Speaker 1: That's that's it. That's false. They tell you you can't 1102 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:57,279 Speaker 1: do a beback, but you can't. 1103 00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:59,520 Speaker 7: You can do vaginal Oh no, after the first one, 1104 00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:01,160 Speaker 7: I was like me up for the second. She's like, 1105 00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,839 Speaker 7: I don't know when your second is gonna be born. 1106 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:07,399 Speaker 1: I was like, just block out now. 1107 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,279 Speaker 9: I well, you tried vaginal with the first. She got 1108 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:11,480 Speaker 9: lodged and stuck. 1109 00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:16,120 Speaker 7: So I was super happy with the sea section. I 1110 00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:18,840 Speaker 7: was like, I was really, you hated a sea section. 1111 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:20,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot, it's a lot. 1112 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,080 Speaker 7: Well no, okay, So here's the thing I liked about 1113 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:28,960 Speaker 7: a sea section. First of all, my first pregnancy, my 1114 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:33,000 Speaker 7: my labor was really awful, really awful. I had terrible 1115 00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:38,400 Speaker 7: doctors who missed like the window of the epidural. And 1116 00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:40,000 Speaker 7: I know a lot of people have natural birth, and 1117 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,279 Speaker 7: if that's good for you, fantastic. I did not want 1118 00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,799 Speaker 7: a natural birth. I wanted the drugs and I did 1119 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,680 Speaker 7: not get them. And then once, I mean like for real, 1120 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,640 Speaker 7: he was like, oh no, he's like you don't need 1121 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,520 Speaker 7: them yet. And then he came back and he's like, oh, 1122 00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,480 Speaker 7: you're too far along, and I was like, I fucking 1123 00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,200 Speaker 7: hate you, not a fucker. 1124 00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:01,000 Speaker 1: So then, right, it was awful. 1125 00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:03,600 Speaker 9: I was just picturing my dad in the room. 1126 00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:07,399 Speaker 7: I kicked his dad out because I started complaining about 1127 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:07,640 Speaker 7: the pain. 1128 00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:09,720 Speaker 1: It was really bad and his dad was like, oh, 1129 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:10,360 Speaker 1: you're fine. 1130 00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 7: I was like, I was like, get him out of here. 1131 00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,080 Speaker 7: So then after that, I was. 1132 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:21,640 Speaker 9: Sort of like, well, the first pregnancy, for the first time, 1133 00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,480 Speaker 9: when a guy goes through it, who's not feeling the 1134 00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,319 Speaker 9: pain of what the woman's going through. All I see 1135 00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:30,920 Speaker 9: is the sheets coming out with like the what are 1136 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,160 Speaker 9: those called the contraction? 1137 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,840 Speaker 1: Yea, And he'll be like, you're. 1138 00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:37,919 Speaker 9: Almost done, and I see the peak and I'm like, yeah, 1139 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,520 Speaker 9: you're doing it, like it's going up, and it's like 1140 00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:44,120 Speaker 9: I'm like, no, no, you feel good. Yeah, that was 1141 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:49,040 Speaker 9: really bad and really bad the sheets. If anybody see, like, 1142 00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:51,520 Speaker 9: don't ignore that, Yeah, don't do that. 1143 00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:52,959 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1144 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,799 Speaker 7: I just I think that I was By the time 1145 00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,360 Speaker 7: I had the first section, I was sort of like, Okay, 1146 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,279 Speaker 7: that's good for me. Like the kids born were all good, 1147 00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,160 Speaker 7: and everybody has their own. Some people of water birds, 1148 00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,239 Speaker 7: some people have natural births. I was sort of like, see, 1149 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,160 Speaker 7: section is good for me. I'm good with that. 1150 00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:13,719 Speaker 9: So, yeah, well you love. What's the matter. 1151 00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:19,440 Speaker 2: I'm asking pascha, I'm asking her for marijuana. 1152 00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:24,279 Speaker 1: Got you sorry? I need to smoke some. 1153 00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:30,560 Speaker 9: Once you hit the drugs, it was all good, well 1154 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:30,840 Speaker 9: for me. 1155 00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,719 Speaker 1: I was I turned. I went from the extorsies to 1156 00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:39,719 Speaker 1: the an angel. I definitely you were trying to I. 1157 00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:40,120 Speaker 7: Was trying to. 1158 00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:43,360 Speaker 3: No, No, I had I wanted to have an unassistant 1159 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,399 Speaker 3: home birth, which is like no midwife, my homegirls, mom, 1160 00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:47,960 Speaker 3: me and my baby's daddy. 1161 00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:51,120 Speaker 7: Like, so what would you got complicated? 1162 00:52:51,239 --> 00:52:53,879 Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing. I'm not judging at all. 1163 00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,160 Speaker 3: You get up and you trust your body and your 1164 00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:58,279 Speaker 3: instinctings and that's the role. 1165 00:52:58,640 --> 00:52:59,560 Speaker 1: But the thing is. 1166 00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:03,879 Speaker 3: Like you're that go those horses, those pigs, there's animals 1167 00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:07,399 Speaker 3: instinctly for millions of years, humans included, every day give 1168 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,560 Speaker 3: birth and they go into their bodies and figure the 1169 00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:14,080 Speaker 3: shit out. Only we have been conditioned and socially, you know, 1170 00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:18,480 Speaker 3: pushed to believe we need some outside source to birth, 1171 00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:19,719 Speaker 3: you know what I mean, or. 1172 00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,279 Speaker 1: You die sometimes or you do. It's a but it's 1173 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,040 Speaker 1: a very low percentage. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not. 1174 00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:26,080 Speaker 1: I'm not saying I don't. 1175 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:30,120 Speaker 2: But there is especially because but there's things that play 1176 00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:31,960 Speaker 2: a part in that. It's like the way we eat now, 1177 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,239 Speaker 2: the way we tear ourselves now versus when we took 1178 00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:35,879 Speaker 2: care of ourselves to these are just a. 1179 00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,799 Speaker 3: Lack of knowledge, and there's a lack of trust for 1180 00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:41,280 Speaker 3: yourself and for your Absolutely I can't argue. And suddenly 1181 00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:45,279 Speaker 3: there was a surgeon, vagina doctors, vagina surgeons OBG I 1182 00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,680 Speaker 3: N's and there's not that much vagina surgery that. 1183 00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:49,840 Speaker 1: Needs to be done. So what are we going to do? 1184 00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:50,040 Speaker 3: Now? 1185 00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:50,520 Speaker 1: On board? 1186 00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,640 Speaker 3: And I need to make money, and so we over 1187 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:58,759 Speaker 3: medicalize the you know, the birthing industry, and we so 1188 00:53:58,840 --> 00:53:59,440 Speaker 3: do you think. 1189 00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:00,799 Speaker 1: That you could and still fear? 1190 00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,120 Speaker 2: Do you think that you could have had a natural 1191 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:08,880 Speaker 2: birth it had no one and still fear? And she 1192 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:10,360 Speaker 2: didn't but she had a high blood I. 1193 00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:14,359 Speaker 3: Had clamcy, I had high blood pressure and I'm thankful for. 1194 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:19,719 Speaker 1: My one to the hospital. Yeah, okay, and I got induced. 1195 00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:21,360 Speaker 1: But do you think you could have done without that? 1196 00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:22,839 Speaker 2: Or you would have died if you would have had 1197 00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:25,440 Speaker 2: Luna without that, or something would have gone wrong. 1198 00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,360 Speaker 1: I could have died. I could have seizured and I 1199 00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:31,520 Speaker 1: could have died. Do I think I probably would have died. 1200 00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:35,400 Speaker 1: I probably would have been fine, But I'm fucking super 1201 00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:36,680 Speaker 1: I don't think I would have died. 1202 00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,400 Speaker 3: I think they were over exaggerating, but I do think 1203 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:42,279 Speaker 3: that I think this, I do think when I have 1204 00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:45,120 Speaker 3: another kid. If I have another kid, which I'm highly 1205 00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:49,560 Speaker 3: thinking I may not, I would try again. I would 1206 00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:53,400 Speaker 3: change my diet to be like totally like plant based 1207 00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:54,680 Speaker 3: and like super strict. 1208 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:57,600 Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't have high blood pressure. And I definitely birth. 1209 00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,200 Speaker 3: A baby in the backyard with me and my baby 1210 00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:03,120 Speaker 3: daddy and like homegirl, I think that is possible. 1211 00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:12,000 Speaker 9: Yeah, anyway, like like like walking around, you know, just. 1212 00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:16,560 Speaker 3: In my own space, on my own terms, naturally and 1213 00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:23,239 Speaker 3: a non medical, over sterilized, super highly bacteria ridden hospital 1214 00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:23,840 Speaker 3: with sick people. 1215 00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:25,240 Speaker 1: Because I'm not sick, give. 1216 00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:27,359 Speaker 3: Me birth is not a sickness, you know, like as 1217 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,160 Speaker 3: women instinctly that's what we do. And I'm sure even 1218 00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,919 Speaker 3: in your case, there's a point in because you didn't 1219 00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,120 Speaker 3: have epidural, there's a point in your body like funck, 1220 00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:38,359 Speaker 3: nobody can help me, and you go inside yourself and you. 1221 00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:40,760 Speaker 1: Figure it out. No, I was in super pain. No 1222 00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:41,680 Speaker 1: you did, did you? 1223 00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:43,680 Speaker 7: And you have to have epidural first, So no, I 1224 00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,080 Speaker 7: didn't have an epido a spinyl and once I got 1225 00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:47,799 Speaker 7: the spinal. 1226 00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,960 Speaker 9: Which so she was in extreme pain for a long time. 1227 00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:53,760 Speaker 9: And they finally said. 1228 00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,239 Speaker 1: One thing, this spinyl did for me. 1229 00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:58,239 Speaker 7: For the For the spinyl, I was sort of like, 1230 00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:00,560 Speaker 7: once I got the spinal I was like, holy shit, 1231 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:05,759 Speaker 7: I understand every drug drug addict right now, everywhere more 1232 00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:10,720 Speaker 7: drug no, Like I legitimately like it's it's I really. 1233 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:15,000 Speaker 7: For for a few minutes, was like I completely understand 1234 00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,799 Speaker 7: everyone who's ever gone through any kind of withdrawal. 1235 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:19,319 Speaker 1: Like once they gave me. 1236 00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:24,600 Speaker 7: The spinal it went from like total pain and like 1237 00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,120 Speaker 7: it was the worst feeling of my life to the 1238 00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:32,120 Speaker 7: best euphoria and like it was in thirty seconds. 1239 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:35,920 Speaker 1: It was like a complete change. I oh, oh girl. 1240 00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,239 Speaker 1: My friends went to the cafeteria. They came back and I. 1241 00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:41,880 Speaker 2: Was like, oh, we were watching Bruce Jenner's transition on TV. 1242 00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:43,160 Speaker 1: During my pregnancy. 1243 00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:45,560 Speaker 2: All twenty people that I had in my room, I 1244 00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,920 Speaker 2: was like, you can have as many people in the 1245 00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:49,040 Speaker 2: room as long as they fit. 1246 00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:50,479 Speaker 1: That's like New York. 1247 00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:55,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, we have some questions from some listeners. Yes, oh, 1248 00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,799 Speaker 3: because I said we're gonna have a married couple. 1249 00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:02,200 Speaker 1: Yes. When I used to do you're first married couple, 1250 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:08,560 Speaker 1: I mean who's married. They're not married, but they're they're 1251 00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:11,239 Speaker 1: in a partnership. I'm good. I need very untraditional part. 1252 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,000 Speaker 1: They're also in an open marriage. I also have sex 1253 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:17,320 Speaker 1: with other people and they do keep classes. That's amazing. 1254 00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,919 Speaker 3: They're good, they're awesome, they're super smart, all of it. 1255 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,720 Speaker 1: Okay, well, this is a lot of questions. 1256 00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:27,479 Speaker 3: Yeah anything, How did the woman know he was the one? 1257 00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:31,000 Speaker 1: Oh? How did I know he was the one? Wait? 1258 00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:31,880 Speaker 9: Second? 1259 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,440 Speaker 1: Before marriage? How did you get through the hard times? 1260 00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,560 Speaker 1: How long did it take for him to propose? Does 1261 00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:37,160 Speaker 1: time matters? 1262 00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:37,560 Speaker 4: Like? 1263 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,760 Speaker 3: Are you okay with being a girlfriend for X amount 1264 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:43,200 Speaker 3: of years until he proposes? And for the man, how 1265 00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:44,800 Speaker 3: did you know she was the one? And when you 1266 00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:47,080 Speaker 3: and when you want to quit? What do you do 1267 00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:48,000 Speaker 3: to presssevere? 1268 00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:50,440 Speaker 9: All right, we start that over lower. 1269 00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:55,320 Speaker 7: Okay, how do you know he was the one? I 1270 00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,520 Speaker 7: have been playing games for a long time. I think 1271 00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:01,720 Speaker 7: we both like I for a long time was used 1272 00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,760 Speaker 7: to guys playing games in New York, you know, especially 1273 00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:08,440 Speaker 7: in New York City and everything. And then, uh, we 1274 00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:12,440 Speaker 7: went out one night, came back the next day, and uh, 1275 00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,919 Speaker 7: before nighttime even came, he called me and he said, 1276 00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:16,440 Speaker 7: I miss you. 1277 00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:17,120 Speaker 1: I want to see you. 1278 00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:20,240 Speaker 7: And I was sort of like, oh shit, he's not 1279 00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:22,560 Speaker 7: looking to play games at all, Like he just likes me. 1280 00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:26,040 Speaker 7: He just wants to hang out. And I was that 1281 00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:30,200 Speaker 7: was different than what I was used to. And he's 1282 00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:32,280 Speaker 7: sort of always been like that. He's sort of always 1283 00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:34,920 Speaker 7: been like, here's who I am, and here's you know 1284 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:38,880 Speaker 7: what I like. That has helped us a lot, Like 1285 00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:41,120 Speaker 7: he's super fucked up, I'm super fucked up. 1286 00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:44,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, we make it work, and we love each other. 1287 00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,920 Speaker 1: We cheer, Yeah we did. We did with each other 1288 00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:48,800 Speaker 1: as fucked up with us. 1289 00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:52,640 Speaker 7: And and I think that that's the difference between us 1290 00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:56,320 Speaker 7: and other marriages, some other marriages that don't work. It's like, 1291 00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:00,600 Speaker 7: I think we we realize that a lifetime is a 1292 00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,680 Speaker 7: really long fucking time. You have to have the connection. 1293 00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,680 Speaker 7: If you have the connection, then you can deal with 1294 00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:09,200 Speaker 7: the other stuff that's going to go with it as 1295 00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,680 Speaker 7: long as you're both If you're not both willing to 1296 00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:14,600 Speaker 7: work at it, you're fucked right. If you're both willing 1297 00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:16,240 Speaker 7: to work in it, And we always have been, We've 1298 00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:20,520 Speaker 7: always both been like, Okay, we want this to work, 1299 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,280 Speaker 7: Like we can't imagine our lives without each other. 1300 00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:25,120 Speaker 1: And I think there's a lot of couples that. 1301 00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:27,040 Speaker 7: Can, well, what do you do as far as like 1302 00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:30,400 Speaker 7: because for me, I've only ever been a mononamous relationships. 1303 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:31,360 Speaker 1: I was going to be married. 1304 00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:34,600 Speaker 2: But obviously attraction is a real thing, Like obviously we're 1305 00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:37,800 Speaker 2: attracted to other people with the Germans. Is that something 1306 00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:40,520 Speaker 2: that you guys keep to yourselves or do you share that. 1307 00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:42,960 Speaker 1: With one another? Like how do you navigate that space? 1308 00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,680 Speaker 2: Because I know you guys have been very transparent about, 1309 00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:49,480 Speaker 2: you know, your relationship and the idea. 1310 00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:51,320 Speaker 1: With a relationship that you either of you know of. 1311 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:55,400 Speaker 7: There's not been infidelity, and I really don't think there's 1312 00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:59,080 Speaker 7: been infidelity, but there's been certainly like we've had issues 1313 00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:03,840 Speaker 7: of lying, We've had big financial issues that have been 1314 01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:04,600 Speaker 7: like covered up. 1315 01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:08,840 Speaker 9: Well, she's talking about like with attraction, attraction. 1316 01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:11,880 Speaker 2: I mean obviously that have you guys if he was 1317 01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:15,200 Speaker 2: attracted to someone else, would you feel comfortable enough to 1318 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:18,000 Speaker 2: tell her, well a conversation. 1319 01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:20,440 Speaker 9: No, it's fine. It's never gone further than like walking 1320 01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:22,120 Speaker 9: down if we're in New York, we walked down the 1321 01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:26,160 Speaker 9: street and she'd be like, that's a cute guy, that's 1322 01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:26,680 Speaker 9: a cute girl. 1323 01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:30,120 Speaker 1: You have an attraction to women, but you say it 1324 01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:30,880 Speaker 1: about a guy too. 1325 01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:36,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, have you explored your attraction to him or 1326 01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,000 Speaker 2: is it just an attraction and fantasy? 1327 01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:40,680 Speaker 1: Have I explained about them? 1328 01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:41,720 Speaker 4: No? 1329 01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:45,000 Speaker 9: And I would like I've seen her exploring attractions. 1330 01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:47,480 Speaker 1: So I have filling up a girl and making it. 1331 01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:50,840 Speaker 9: Like we have very very good friends that we have 1332 01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:54,040 Speaker 9: over we get drunk together, showing up on the girl's 1333 01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,760 Speaker 9: lap and like hugging and like like I see. 1334 01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:58,120 Speaker 1: All that is uncomfortable? 1335 01:00:58,960 --> 01:00:59,560 Speaker 9: No, not at all? 1336 01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,560 Speaker 1: Are you well? 1337 01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,680 Speaker 2: Well does that make you feel when I did listen 1338 01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:07,920 Speaker 2: to an episode that you said that cheating with a. 1339 01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:09,920 Speaker 1: Man or a woman is equally the same thing. 1340 01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:12,560 Speaker 2: Yes, and it was, but if it was not in 1341 01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:14,240 Speaker 2: your knowledge of you, if you didn't. 1342 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:19,800 Speaker 9: Know yet on you with a girl or a guy 1343 01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:23,560 Speaker 9: to mean it's the same thing. But having fun with 1344 01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:26,600 Speaker 9: friends well together doing that's fine. 1345 01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:29,560 Speaker 1: I'm okay with that here, I'm present, like I. 1346 01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:32,600 Speaker 9: Get it, Like we all have attractions to other people, 1347 01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:33,880 Speaker 9: like you go on a play. 1348 01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,360 Speaker 2: Like if he were to do that and he were 1349 01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,800 Speaker 2: to like have attraction towards one of your girlfriends, is 1350 01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:39,520 Speaker 2: that okay? 1351 01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:41,680 Speaker 1: Probably did it happened? 1352 01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:44,479 Speaker 3: Well yeah, yeah, Like if it's a mutual friend or whatever, 1353 01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:45,840 Speaker 3: like if it's a friend you trust, not like a 1354 01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:46,920 Speaker 3: sneaky horrors friend. 1355 01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:54,680 Speaker 7: But I think that No, I think I'd be okay 1356 01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:57,400 Speaker 7: with I'm okay with all the flirtation and everything. 1357 01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:58,720 Speaker 1: I think it's all fun. 1358 01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:03,400 Speaker 7: Yeah, I think, and I friends, I think at a 1359 01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:07,240 Speaker 7: certain point, like in our lives, do I think we're 1360 01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:09,280 Speaker 7: gonna experient with other people? 1361 01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:09,920 Speaker 1: I don't know? 1362 01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:16,640 Speaker 2: Right, do you believe in like traditional monogamy like that? 1363 01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:18,240 Speaker 1: I don't like. 1364 01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:19,240 Speaker 9: I don't like. 1365 01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:21,280 Speaker 1: Don't do you believe in traditional monomy? Like you're with one? 1366 01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:23,160 Speaker 9: Yes? Because she told me to. 1367 01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:24,520 Speaker 1: No, I did not. 1368 01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:30,000 Speaker 7: I have never told you to believe in traditional MONOMENI. 1369 01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:33,080 Speaker 9: But you'd be okay with me going out and being 1370 01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:33,760 Speaker 9: with another woman. 1371 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:39,080 Speaker 3: But if he's flirting, okay, if he's flirting within the household, 1372 01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:41,280 Speaker 3: within your knowledge, like in a like a person that 1373 01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,480 Speaker 3: you're communicating with, Tom, I'm totally okay with. 1374 01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:48,400 Speaker 9: I have no problem or I enjoy like if like 1375 01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:53,440 Speaker 9: with with friends, like very very good friends, little flirtations, 1376 01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,960 Speaker 9: little thing while she's around, nothing like on the side, 1377 01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:00,960 Speaker 9: nothing like Yeah, that's that's not what I'm into. But 1378 01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:03,880 Speaker 9: just fun because we're so. 1379 01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:07,400 Speaker 3: Close, right, yeah, we both we're not You're not running 1380 01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,480 Speaker 3: off into the sunset with another big right, so you're 1381 01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:10,840 Speaker 3: an open marriage. 1382 01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:14,000 Speaker 2: We had actually we had a guest on a few 1383 01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:17,320 Speaker 2: weeks ago that has been an open marriage, well an 1384 01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:19,160 Speaker 2: open relationship really for ten years. 1385 01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:20,560 Speaker 1: And now she's married, has been. 1386 01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:23,160 Speaker 2: Married for I think six years, yeah, five and five, 1387 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,760 Speaker 2: and she's and during that time she got pregnant by 1388 01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:29,440 Speaker 2: her husband, had a boyfriend and continue the relationship with 1389 01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:32,240 Speaker 2: the boyfriend up until I think her seventh month of pregnancy, 1390 01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:33,680 Speaker 2: six or seventh month of pregnancy. 1391 01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:35,720 Speaker 1: Like, obviously it's not for everyone. 1392 01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:39,160 Speaker 2: And actually that episode made me like like, Okay, this 1393 01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:40,760 Speaker 2: is not for me, because at first I was. 1394 01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:43,480 Speaker 1: Like, could I do like openness because I might. 1395 01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:46,400 Speaker 2: My views on monogamy are like, I believe in human 1396 01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:50,040 Speaker 2: nature that we are just attracted to people, absolutely, but 1397 01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,560 Speaker 2: I do also believe that we have self control and 1398 01:03:52,600 --> 01:03:55,080 Speaker 2: that like, I don't need to explore every person I'm attracted. 1399 01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:57,800 Speaker 1: Somewhere in that gra yeah, I. 1400 01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,920 Speaker 9: Don't think we're meant for monogamy. 1401 01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:04,280 Speaker 7: I agree, naturally, I think monogamy is a sham. 1402 01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:07,720 Speaker 2: Monogamy is something that we've created for marriage and owner. 1403 01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:14,760 Speaker 1: But I also think it's hard to to navigate all that. 1404 01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:16,240 Speaker 1: It's really difficult and. 1405 01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:18,480 Speaker 9: I don't think anybody who is like, Okay, now I'm 1406 01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:21,360 Speaker 9: married and now I'm not attracted to anybody else. It 1407 01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:22,120 Speaker 9: doesn't work that way. 1408 01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:24,400 Speaker 1: Well, some people think that way. 1409 01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:28,320 Speaker 9: Well, it's only because I think either maybe religion tells 1410 01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:31,400 Speaker 9: them to do so and they're so highly like into 1411 01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:34,320 Speaker 9: that religion, or like something is telling them not to 1412 01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:36,760 Speaker 9: be that way. Do they really feel that way? 1413 01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:39,560 Speaker 3: Do you think that when it's I feel like when 1414 01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:44,200 Speaker 3: it's totally highly off guard, like off limits, like don't 1415 01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:45,760 Speaker 3: do this, don't do this out and look at me, 1416 01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:50,240 Speaker 3: I think then it's it's more, it's more feelings. 1417 01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:55,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, boob, look at it. Sure, Rather it's 1418 01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:58,439 Speaker 1: not supposed to do it right, we'll walk down. 1419 01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:00,080 Speaker 9: The street together if we're in New York, can be 1420 01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:03,480 Speaker 9: like damn, look at them, right, perfect couple. 1421 01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:06,600 Speaker 1: But they're both glass. 1422 01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:11,160 Speaker 3: Like even in a dialogue, I think it's healthy or 1423 01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:13,680 Speaker 3: else you're like not being human, you're being fucking robotic, 1424 01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:14,480 Speaker 3: and that's not real. 1425 01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:17,640 Speaker 2: So for me, like in my relationship, monogamy was an issue, 1426 01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:19,920 Speaker 2: Like I was in a relationship that was supposed to 1427 01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:20,560 Speaker 2: be monogamous. 1428 01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:22,920 Speaker 1: We agreed it was monogamous and. 1429 01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:25,600 Speaker 2: Not because of that I said that that was what 1430 01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:28,760 Speaker 2: had to be, but more so he said that was 1431 01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:33,080 Speaker 2: what it had to be, and but he couldn't do that. 1432 01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:34,680 Speaker 1: I wanted. 1433 01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:37,720 Speaker 2: He wanted to open, he wanted monogamy, but he couldn't 1434 01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:40,640 Speaker 2: adhere to the rules of I say, whereas I could, 1435 01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:43,360 Speaker 2: but I didn't really like I was open to like 1436 01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:46,080 Speaker 2: possibly not being monogamous, but he couldn't accept me not 1437 01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:48,000 Speaker 2: being monogamous, because I think that's what it really comes 1438 01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:51,120 Speaker 2: a lot of times men want to be open, but 1439 01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:53,160 Speaker 2: they don't want their women to be open because it's 1440 01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:55,840 Speaker 2: like it's like the visual things, like that's what they're 1441 01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:59,439 Speaker 2: imagining the life for their girlfriend having for someone else. 1442 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:01,280 Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's entering you. 1443 01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:03,400 Speaker 2: It's different than me and tricked someone out like yeah, 1444 01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:08,400 Speaker 2: this weird visual thing. And so for me, like the 1445 01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,760 Speaker 2: betrayal of our like we he had betrayed me a 1446 01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:14,240 Speaker 2: few times and I had forgiven him right and consciously, 1447 01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,959 Speaker 2: like I knew consciously, I knew what I was doing, 1448 01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:19,920 Speaker 2: like I know what you did, I know what I'm 1449 01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:22,160 Speaker 2: getting into. I know that this might not be perfect 1450 01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:25,760 Speaker 2: moving forward, but like I'm consciously going to forgive you 1451 01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:26,640 Speaker 2: and not. 1452 01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,480 Speaker 1: Go through your shit and just move forward. And that's 1453 01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:30,640 Speaker 1: what I did a few times. 1454 01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:33,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, because I'm not the type of girl to go 1455 01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:37,360 Speaker 2: through your shit, Like I just I know, cause I 1456 01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:39,360 Speaker 2: feel like if you went through my shit, he might 1457 01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:42,560 Speaker 2: find something that isn't a like in context might be inappropriate. 1458 01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:47,160 Speaker 2: But there was nothing there. But like, after a certain point, 1459 01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:50,080 Speaker 2: it just couldn't like what what how our relationship ended? 1460 01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:52,320 Speaker 1: It was just like it couldn't continue. 1461 01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:56,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you guys have had your own You've been 1462 01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:59,280 Speaker 2: very public about you know, oh sure your situation and 1463 01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:03,480 Speaker 2: you're you know, the betrayals of your relationship. How in 1464 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,320 Speaker 2: a marriage because we weren't married, and like I did 1465 01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:08,320 Speaker 2: try to navigate through it, and at a certain point 1466 01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:10,280 Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, we're not married. I don't have 1467 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,360 Speaker 2: to figure this out. How do you navigate that? And 1468 01:07:13,440 --> 01:07:15,880 Speaker 2: like what is is there a limit to like like 1469 01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:19,080 Speaker 2: if if you found out like that she had cheated 1470 01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:22,720 Speaker 2: or he had cheated, Like, is that a determining factor? 1471 01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:23,640 Speaker 1: Is that a deal breaker? 1472 01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:25,080 Speaker 9: You feel very differently about this? 1473 01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:27,040 Speaker 1: Is that, like is cheating a deal break? Okay? 1474 01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:30,120 Speaker 7: So for him he thinks that cheating. So here's the 1475 01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,680 Speaker 7: deal is that I think a lot of times in marriages. 1476 01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:36,080 Speaker 7: This is my thought. We have very different different ideas 1477 01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:39,680 Speaker 7: about this. He thinks that because he never cheated, he 1478 01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:42,280 Speaker 7: never he never was with another woman, he would never 1479 01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:47,880 Speaker 7: was with another person, that everything else is secondary. So 1480 01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:51,160 Speaker 7: he lied in a lot of ways. He did a 1481 01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:53,360 Speaker 7: lot of stuff. We've gone through a lot of stuff. 1482 01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:58,200 Speaker 7: He never touched another person, you know, did it? And 1483 01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:01,520 Speaker 7: I believe it because he has been very open about 1484 01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:04,760 Speaker 7: so many other things. For me, I think betrayal works 1485 01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:09,120 Speaker 7: on so many different different levels, and so for me, 1486 01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:14,320 Speaker 7: that's been hard that because he thinks that, Okay, I 1487 01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:19,040 Speaker 7: never cheated on you per se sexually, I never betrayed you. 1488 01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:22,760 Speaker 1: But I think betrayal works a lot more than that. 1489 01:08:23,400 --> 01:08:23,760 Speaker 1: I think it. 1490 01:08:25,439 --> 01:08:32,400 Speaker 9: Betray Yeah, No, betrayal is a different level than so. 1491 01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:33,800 Speaker 7: We've had to cut back from that. 1492 01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:37,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's been. That's been. Yeah. 1493 01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:40,000 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure you guys are currently going through 1494 01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:43,200 Speaker 2: it right now, right or it wasn't. 1495 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:46,759 Speaker 9: A long time ago, but it was within the last years. 1496 01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,400 Speaker 7: If you listen to our like I'm not going to 1497 01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:51,720 Speaker 7: replay all the stories, but if you listen to our 1498 01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:54,719 Speaker 7: guilt episode or our Secrets and Lies episode or anything 1499 01:08:54,760 --> 01:08:57,320 Speaker 7: like that, you'll hear what he did. But but it's 1500 01:08:57,360 --> 01:09:03,880 Speaker 7: it's very it's short of cheating, it's lies, it's it's 1501 01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:07,840 Speaker 7: things that happens, still betrayal for sure. 1502 01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:10,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it definitely is. 1503 01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:13,040 Speaker 9: It's it's a lot of things that in my mind 1504 01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:16,639 Speaker 9: I rationalized in my head that made it okay. 1505 01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:18,879 Speaker 1: If it's not this, then it's correct. 1506 01:09:19,360 --> 01:09:22,639 Speaker 9: If I'm not cheating wife, then I can and she's 1507 01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:23,800 Speaker 9: able to stay. 1508 01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:26,639 Speaker 7: Home and stay at home mom and he needs. 1509 01:09:29,280 --> 01:09:32,560 Speaker 9: To do my things. So in my mind I rationalize 1510 01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:34,439 Speaker 9: it and say, well, then it's okay. 1511 01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:38,040 Speaker 1: So how have you gotten past that? Have I gotten 1512 01:09:38,040 --> 01:09:38,360 Speaker 1: past that? 1513 01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:41,000 Speaker 7: I think that in order to get past it for real, 1514 01:09:41,360 --> 01:09:43,599 Speaker 7: and this is a big deal, you have to really 1515 01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:46,720 Speaker 7: your your spouse has to be willing to really own 1516 01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:49,000 Speaker 7: up to it and work on it. Like he's never 1517 01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:51,400 Speaker 7: for a moment been like I don't want to work 1518 01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:54,400 Speaker 7: on this, you know, the second he says that, the 1519 01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:58,120 Speaker 7: second he's like I don't want to work on this. 1520 01:09:58,240 --> 01:09:59,800 Speaker 1: I'm out. Well. 1521 01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:02,600 Speaker 9: We I had a moment where a long not a 1522 01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:06,760 Speaker 9: long time ago, eight months ago, where I it came out, 1523 01:10:06,880 --> 01:10:09,440 Speaker 9: it was done. It was like, here's everything. 1524 01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:12,519 Speaker 7: Yeah, And I was basically like tell me everything now 1525 01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:13,120 Speaker 7: or we're done. 1526 01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:14,719 Speaker 1: I'm done. I'm done. 1527 01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:17,040 Speaker 9: And then it was like, Okay, we have a thing. 1528 01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:19,320 Speaker 9: Let's work on this podcast, let's work on a relationship, 1529 01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:22,000 Speaker 9: let's work on our family, let's work on being us 1530 01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:23,599 Speaker 9: what we were, what we want to be. 1531 01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:24,400 Speaker 1: Who we are now. 1532 01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,639 Speaker 9: Yes, and that's what we've been doing for the last yeah, 1533 01:10:27,680 --> 01:10:29,120 Speaker 9: eight months, nine months. 1534 01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:31,880 Speaker 7: But the second he says to me, I'm not working 1535 01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:33,000 Speaker 7: on it, I'm done. 1536 01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:35,360 Speaker 9: I know I'm in a place where I can say 1537 01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:36,960 Speaker 9: if I want to be out and I could be 1538 01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:40,800 Speaker 9: out like that. You know, of course not so, but 1539 01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:43,559 Speaker 9: but I could be so easily even. 1540 01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:46,040 Speaker 2: If he said like that he didn't want to work 1541 01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:49,360 Speaker 2: on it, could you. I mean, it's such a big 1542 01:10:49,439 --> 01:10:51,000 Speaker 2: I mean, don't get me wrong, because I've been on 1543 01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:54,920 Speaker 2: your more so, I've been in your position, absolutely, but 1544 01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:58,960 Speaker 2: like I feel like the guilt and the pressure to 1545 01:10:59,280 --> 01:11:02,240 Speaker 2: work on it can be so overwhelming for someone that 1546 01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:05,040 Speaker 2: they could be like, fuck this, I can't I can't 1547 01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:05,759 Speaker 2: live up to whatever. 1548 01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:09,559 Speaker 1: I can't lap to the expectation of what you want. 1549 01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:10,320 Speaker 1: Like I'm trying. 1550 01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:14,040 Speaker 2: And that's like been my issue with like or previously 1551 01:11:14,080 --> 01:11:16,759 Speaker 2: with him, is that like he felt like he couldn't 1552 01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:18,720 Speaker 2: live up to whatever the secretation. 1553 01:11:21,479 --> 01:11:23,759 Speaker 1: What does it look like? What is the perfect relationship 1554 01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:26,479 Speaker 1: look like to you? I don't know, being there's no 1555 01:11:26,600 --> 01:11:27,280 Speaker 1: such thing. 1556 01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:30,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, but like being honest, yeah, And but that takes 1557 01:11:30,680 --> 01:11:32,880 Speaker 2: both people too, because just because he's not being honest 1558 01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:34,840 Speaker 2: about what he's doing with his dick or whatever the 1559 01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:36,640 Speaker 2: fuck doesn't mean I'm always being honest about what. 1560 01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:41,200 Speaker 3: I'm super one sided if I don't get caught like 1561 01:11:41,479 --> 01:11:46,120 Speaker 3: you're you're you're fucked up, but I'm perfect. So because 1562 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:48,640 Speaker 3: you didn't do as much good you know, stalking and 1563 01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:49,840 Speaker 3: text message reading as. 1564 01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:55,200 Speaker 2: I did, I mean, for me, my my biggest like 1565 01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:57,360 Speaker 2: the thing, the mistake that I made was not being 1566 01:11:57,360 --> 01:12:00,759 Speaker 2: honest about things and like sweeping is under the rug 1567 01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,599 Speaker 2: and like not because I'm not that girl that goes 1568 01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:07,080 Speaker 2: through your shit like it's almost like okay, well out 1569 01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:09,880 Speaker 2: of mind. And that's a problem too, you know. And 1570 01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:13,040 Speaker 2: I know that because I don't. I don't like to 1571 01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:14,880 Speaker 2: hurt myself as much as maybe you do. 1572 01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:16,240 Speaker 1: Girl, I love it. 1573 01:12:18,560 --> 01:12:20,400 Speaker 7: No, there have been times that I'm sort of like 1574 01:12:20,400 --> 01:12:22,280 Speaker 7: what am I like a glutton for punishment? 1575 01:12:22,439 --> 01:12:22,640 Speaker 9: You know? 1576 01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:24,639 Speaker 7: There are certain times, but I'm sort of like, why 1577 01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:27,880 Speaker 7: am I not fucking but listen, there have also been 1578 01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:29,880 Speaker 7: times that I have sort of been like, I'm a 1579 01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:30,599 Speaker 7: stay at home mom. 1580 01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:32,599 Speaker 1: Where the fuck am I going? Okay? 1581 01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,080 Speaker 2: So for a woman like so like that, like, yeah, 1582 01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:37,280 Speaker 2: he is. He takes care of you. He takes care 1583 01:12:37,280 --> 01:12:40,000 Speaker 2: of the family situation for the most part. I mean 1584 01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:43,479 Speaker 2: obviously you guys, but I mean financially, he is the 1585 01:12:43,479 --> 01:12:47,960 Speaker 2: one that brings in most of the dyes, absolutely, which 1586 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:50,719 Speaker 2: I think, right, which I think a lot of women. 1587 01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:54,519 Speaker 2: I mean I think I think maybe now there's more 1588 01:12:54,520 --> 01:12:55,880 Speaker 2: women that are like making more. 1589 01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:57,000 Speaker 1: Money than men and blah blah blah bah. 1590 01:12:57,040 --> 01:12:58,759 Speaker 2: Let's be real, Like a lot of times, even women 1591 01:12:58,840 --> 01:13:00,880 Speaker 2: like we we seek men that can take care of us. 1592 01:13:00,920 --> 01:13:04,360 Speaker 9: Sure that's fine with me. By the way, Like if 1593 01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:07,439 Speaker 9: she went and got something and was like, hey, I'm 1594 01:13:07,479 --> 01:13:12,640 Speaker 9: bringing in a milliona yere, thank you, I'll take it. 1595 01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:14,880 Speaker 9: I'll do it, maybe you wouldn't have liked that early on, 1596 01:13:15,439 --> 01:13:15,960 Speaker 9: probably not. 1597 01:13:16,040 --> 01:13:18,200 Speaker 1: You know, it's taken. It's taken you to get to this. 1598 01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:23,439 Speaker 7: Point, right, maturity means a lot or just also bearing 1599 01:13:23,439 --> 01:13:27,160 Speaker 7: the weight of that and now he's like all right, yeah, exactly, 1600 01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:28,519 Speaker 7: it's not. 1601 01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:32,599 Speaker 2: But like because of that, I feel like a lot 1602 01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:34,720 Speaker 2: of women stay in situations. I'm not saying this is 1603 01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:36,519 Speaker 2: this is your situation, but a lot of women stay 1604 01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:37,640 Speaker 2: in situations. 1605 01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:41,599 Speaker 7: Because they feel like will I do absolutely can, hundred percent. 1606 01:13:41,720 --> 01:13:44,200 Speaker 7: I felt I felt trapped like that A lot. 1607 01:13:45,040 --> 01:13:47,720 Speaker 9: You don't know, Well, no, because you have things you 1608 01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:48,120 Speaker 9: can do. 1609 01:13:48,479 --> 01:13:50,519 Speaker 1: I do. I have things I could do to get out. 1610 01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:55,920 Speaker 7: Oh, you thought about it, of course, yeah, that's real, 1611 01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:56,920 Speaker 7: a hundred percent. 1612 01:13:57,080 --> 01:13:58,040 Speaker 1: I've thought about it. 1613 01:13:58,120 --> 01:14:01,000 Speaker 7: Yeah, And you know, there's all so first of all, 1614 01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:04,559 Speaker 7: our kids are fourteen, eleven and seven. It's much different 1615 01:14:04,640 --> 01:14:07,120 Speaker 7: than having, you know, when our kids were toddlers and. 1616 01:14:07,160 --> 01:14:07,639 Speaker 1: This and that. 1617 01:14:09,400 --> 01:14:12,680 Speaker 7: Our kids now, you know, first of all, we love. 1618 01:14:12,760 --> 01:14:16,719 Speaker 7: We do love to be together. She's so fucking cute. 1619 01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:21,280 Speaker 1: And if you hear the click, you're so blind dog ball, 1620 01:14:21,600 --> 01:14:22,120 Speaker 1: we're dogs. 1621 01:14:23,680 --> 01:14:25,360 Speaker 9: Get another dog to play with. 1622 01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:30,000 Speaker 1: Her, frustrating one blind dog with one seeing dogs. She 1623 01:14:30,080 --> 01:14:34,200 Speaker 1: don't like sing, doesn't like other dogs. Now I get that. 1624 01:14:34,240 --> 01:14:37,720 Speaker 1: I don't like other people either. You talked about this. 1625 01:14:38,360 --> 01:14:39,679 Speaker 1: I like people. 1626 01:14:39,800 --> 01:14:41,000 Speaker 9: We don't know we like dogs. 1627 01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:42,439 Speaker 3: I like dogs. 1628 01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:43,000 Speaker 1: I like dogs. 1629 01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:47,640 Speaker 7: About the people, No, I think that you know For me, 1630 01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:51,920 Speaker 7: I think that we are better together than a part. 1631 01:14:53,240 --> 01:14:56,320 Speaker 7: I'm not saying that I never want to experience other things. 1632 01:14:56,360 --> 01:14:56,760 Speaker 1: I don't know. 1633 01:14:56,800 --> 01:14:58,599 Speaker 7: Maybe we'll get to a point where we figure out 1634 01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:01,000 Speaker 7: that we do want to experience other things. 1635 01:15:01,200 --> 01:15:04,120 Speaker 9: I think we would both be fucked up without each other. 1636 01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:09,160 Speaker 9: You would have expectations that are you would not meet. 1637 01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:12,559 Speaker 7: No, we really do love to be together, like we're 1638 01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:15,320 Speaker 7: we we are fucked up in so many ways, but 1639 01:15:15,360 --> 01:15:17,720 Speaker 7: we do love to be together. How we have three 1640 01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:20,639 Speaker 7: kids together, like we have you know, we have three 1641 01:15:20,680 --> 01:15:24,160 Speaker 7: amazing kids together, and we've we've built time together, we 1642 01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:27,599 Speaker 7: have incredible friends, like we have an incredible life together. 1643 01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:33,120 Speaker 7: But the second either of us said, like, I'm done 1644 01:15:33,360 --> 01:15:35,960 Speaker 7: admitting that I'm at fault and I'm done trying. It's 1645 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:39,280 Speaker 7: over because I can't. We can't do that, like we 1646 01:15:40,439 --> 01:15:43,519 Speaker 7: He's willing. The thing that's always been amazing about Adam 1647 01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:46,479 Speaker 7: is that he's always been willing to say I want 1648 01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:48,479 Speaker 7: to do better, I want to. 1649 01:15:48,439 --> 01:15:48,960 Speaker 1: Learn from it. 1650 01:15:49,040 --> 01:15:52,520 Speaker 7: I want to do better and honestly, like in life, 1651 01:15:52,640 --> 01:15:55,160 Speaker 7: like if you're supposed to be married forever, it's a 1652 01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:59,439 Speaker 7: really long fucking time, and if like if you expect 1653 01:15:59,439 --> 01:16:02,280 Speaker 7: somebody to to not fuck up in that amount of time, 1654 01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:04,720 Speaker 7: then you're just it's not realistic. 1655 01:16:05,439 --> 01:16:09,280 Speaker 1: And and here's another thing, is that if I expected 1656 01:16:09,320 --> 01:16:11,160 Speaker 1: somebody to not like fuck up. 1657 01:16:11,040 --> 01:16:14,720 Speaker 7: Ever, that's not in sync with me because I like 1658 01:16:14,800 --> 01:16:17,760 Speaker 7: excitement and I like a bad boy, and I like 1659 01:16:17,880 --> 01:16:19,880 Speaker 7: all those things that I fell in love with about 1660 01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:23,320 Speaker 7: him are the same reasons he fucks up exactly. 1661 01:16:23,479 --> 01:16:23,760 Speaker 1: I don't. 1662 01:16:24,040 --> 01:16:29,639 Speaker 7: Boy, he was always a very bad I was always 1663 01:16:29,680 --> 01:16:30,519 Speaker 7: a very bad boy. 1664 01:16:30,560 --> 01:16:31,760 Speaker 1: But that I always knew. 1665 01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:33,400 Speaker 7: I wanted a bad boy. So okay, so what am 1666 01:16:33,439 --> 01:16:35,880 Speaker 7: I asking for here? I'm asking for a bad boy, 1667 01:16:37,120 --> 01:16:40,120 Speaker 7: for someone to be perfect Like that doesn't what do 1668 01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:40,439 Speaker 7: you want? 1669 01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:41,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? 1670 01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:45,559 Speaker 7: Yeah, so it's all you know, it's all like a 1671 01:16:45,680 --> 01:16:48,599 Speaker 7: different kind of like I have to know that this 1672 01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:50,720 Speaker 7: is what I wanted. I wanted someone who was a 1673 01:16:50,760 --> 01:16:53,000 Speaker 7: little bad and a little exciting. 1674 01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:55,320 Speaker 9: The same for me by the way. 1675 01:16:55,520 --> 01:16:57,960 Speaker 1: Right like not a square. Oh my god. And I'm 1676 01:16:57,960 --> 01:17:01,240 Speaker 1: like not broken up with me, baby daddy. I knew 1677 01:17:01,240 --> 01:17:05,720 Speaker 1: he was bad. I knew he know you you know, 1678 01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:06,360 Speaker 1: you know. 1679 01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:09,679 Speaker 3: If we have won one podcast with many people, Yeah, 1680 01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:12,719 Speaker 3: I think that's that's a big thing too, Like how. 1681 01:17:12,720 --> 01:17:15,880 Speaker 1: It's not how far am I willing to go? Like, well, 1682 01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:17,400 Speaker 1: how much do I want to work? 1683 01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:17,680 Speaker 9: Right? 1684 01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:20,720 Speaker 3: What is what is the limit? What is like I've 1685 01:17:21,080 --> 01:17:23,439 Speaker 3: done everything I can do? How much should you work 1686 01:17:23,479 --> 01:17:25,960 Speaker 3: on someone? How much should you be patient? But one 1687 01:17:25,960 --> 01:17:26,840 Speaker 3: thing you guys said, like. 1688 01:17:26,840 --> 01:17:29,040 Speaker 1: The answer is none. If they're not willing to work 1689 01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:31,160 Speaker 1: on themselves, none. 1690 01:17:31,320 --> 01:17:34,120 Speaker 2: And the act and people can say that they're willing 1691 01:17:34,120 --> 01:17:36,240 Speaker 2: to work on ourselves, it's the act that I'm absolutely 1692 01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:39,800 Speaker 2: saying it because I have like I've had he was 1693 01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:44,879 Speaker 2: a great motivator, like through words, but I saw no actions. 1694 01:17:45,360 --> 01:17:48,320 Speaker 9: Well, it all comes down to really, if you want. 1695 01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:51,479 Speaker 1: To or not, Absolutely, this is important to you. 1696 01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:54,160 Speaker 9: It's easier, it's not. I mean, if you want to 1697 01:17:54,160 --> 01:17:58,360 Speaker 9: do it, which we both do, we're working on it. 1698 01:17:58,360 --> 01:18:00,280 Speaker 9: We're doing It's not that it's easy. 1699 01:18:00,240 --> 01:18:02,559 Speaker 1: But it's not. If it was easy, everyone to be doing. 1700 01:18:02,400 --> 01:18:04,120 Speaker 9: It, of course, but we want to do it, so 1701 01:18:04,160 --> 01:18:05,080 Speaker 9: we're making it happy. 1702 01:18:05,120 --> 01:18:06,679 Speaker 3: And I thought it was really cool that you guys 1703 01:18:06,680 --> 01:18:10,840 Speaker 3: said before we started recording, they were like, we've talked. 1704 01:18:10,880 --> 01:18:14,600 Speaker 3: We're talking about both of our podcasts, journeys and our experiences, 1705 01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:17,240 Speaker 3: and they're like, we've literally talked more to each other 1706 01:18:17,280 --> 01:18:19,840 Speaker 3: in the last year than we have in like twenty 1707 01:18:19,920 --> 01:18:21,000 Speaker 3: years of marriage. 1708 01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:22,519 Speaker 1: And I was like, that's crazy. 1709 01:18:22,920 --> 01:18:26,240 Speaker 3: But even like me and Erica as like friends have 1710 01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:28,880 Speaker 3: to be vulnerable and sit here and like be accountable 1711 01:18:29,320 --> 01:18:32,800 Speaker 3: as friends, you know, individually, I realized how much more 1712 01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:34,040 Speaker 3: accountable I need to be. 1713 01:18:34,720 --> 01:18:35,719 Speaker 1: It's recorded. 1714 01:18:36,320 --> 01:18:40,000 Speaker 2: It's recorded, like there's actually evidence that you said that people, 1715 01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:43,080 Speaker 2: But I'm so remember said you. 1716 01:18:43,080 --> 01:18:46,000 Speaker 1: Were going to try, right, I didn't say that. No, Well, 1717 01:18:46,040 --> 01:18:50,240 Speaker 1: actually we pull up episode right. So I think it's. 1718 01:18:50,120 --> 01:18:53,040 Speaker 3: Really dope that you guys can come together on that 1719 01:18:53,160 --> 01:18:55,120 Speaker 3: and that you've made done this project together, because like 1720 01:18:55,479 --> 01:18:57,960 Speaker 3: this is my work wife, and I love her and 1721 01:18:58,000 --> 01:18:59,520 Speaker 3: I'm grateful for our relationship. 1722 01:19:00,080 --> 01:19:08,880 Speaker 1: I think if I could have you really into that. 1723 01:19:08,960 --> 01:19:09,840 Speaker 9: So don't take her. 1724 01:19:10,280 --> 01:19:12,759 Speaker 1: I can cook, I can clean, she can markets. 1725 01:19:13,360 --> 01:19:17,960 Speaker 3: Sorry, I can make a good cocktail. 1726 01:19:18,640 --> 01:19:20,720 Speaker 1: You both can't have a dirty car. 1727 01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:25,040 Speaker 9: Have a dirty car. 1728 01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:28,400 Speaker 1: I didn't want a dirty anything. We're gonna be one 1729 01:19:28,439 --> 01:19:30,000 Speaker 1: more wife for that. 1730 01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:34,200 Speaker 3: I'm really happy to meet you, and I'm really happy 1731 01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:36,559 Speaker 3: you guys came and that we stalked you through strange. 1732 01:19:38,800 --> 01:19:40,000 Speaker 1: We knew beforehand. 1733 01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:41,960 Speaker 7: I was like, this is gonna be We're gonna love 1734 01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:43,320 Speaker 7: them they're gonna be Also, I didn't. 1735 01:19:43,439 --> 01:19:44,439 Speaker 1: I didn't know it's gonna be easy. 1736 01:19:44,439 --> 01:19:48,880 Speaker 3: There's a lot of fake ass, raw uncensored parent mom 1737 01:19:49,120 --> 01:19:51,960 Speaker 3: podcast that we come across, right, And as soon as 1738 01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:53,800 Speaker 3: I started like going through your page, I was like, Oh, 1739 01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:55,080 Speaker 3: they're gonna be for real, for real. 1740 01:19:55,280 --> 01:19:56,639 Speaker 1: So I think that's good. That's why we can get 1741 01:19:56,680 --> 01:20:00,960 Speaker 1: drunk together. Yeah, and until I've got the food of her. Wow. 1742 01:20:01,280 --> 01:20:06,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so time to eat guys. 1743 01:20:06,880 --> 01:20:09,800 Speaker 7: Okay, Hey, you guys are awesome and we're honored to 1744 01:20:09,800 --> 01:20:13,960 Speaker 7: be on here. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. 1745 01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:15,760 Speaker 1: You let our listeners know where they can find you. 1746 01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:18,200 Speaker 7: Oh yes, so you can find us on Marriage and 1747 01:20:18,240 --> 01:20:19,440 Speaker 7: Martinis anywhere. 1748 01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:21,439 Speaker 1: You get your podcasts at. 1749 01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:26,240 Speaker 7: Marriage and Martins, on Instagram, Facebook. Uh, and we're barely 1750 01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:31,040 Speaker 7: on Twitter. I'm not smart enough for. 1751 01:20:33,760 --> 01:20:39,000 Speaker 9: Yeah, just go to manage super fun. 1752 01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:43,040 Speaker 1: Yes, thank you guys, We love you. You're so great. Make 1753 01:20:43,080 --> 01:20:47,120 Speaker 1: sure to review review, leave your review, rate us, tell 1754 01:20:47,160 --> 01:20:49,320 Speaker 1: your friend and check us. 1755 01:20:49,200 --> 01:20:52,760 Speaker 3: Out at good Moms, Bad Choices dot com. 1756 01:20:52,040 --> 01:20:55,600 Speaker 2: And on Instagram a Good Moms underscore Bad Choices. 1757 01:20:55,280 --> 01:21:01,759 Speaker 1: And we will see you guys next Wednesday. Bye, Cary. 1758 01:21:02,439 --> 01:21:06,000 Speaker 4: I was just fucking marry maybe happy. R. 1759 01:21:06,360 --> 01:21:11,559 Speaker 6: Tell no way we ain getting the young girl so much. 1760 01:21:11,760 --> 01:21:19,719 Speaker 6: But do me say you come Ambers confect asking bay 1761 01:21:20,280 --> 01:21:23,960 Speaker 6: Maybe you Mary. 1762 01:21:23,240 --> 01:21:27,879 Speaker 9: Said, I done it all. Frankly, girl, I'm siying of. 1763 01:21:27,720 --> 01:21:31,280 Speaker 1: His giving, Nay, I want to come up to. 1764 01:21:31,439 --> 01:21:32,679 Speaker 6: Him, and the reason 1765 01:21:34,760 --> 01:21:35,120 Speaker 9: By