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Speaker 1: This is John, this is the m Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some.

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Speaker 2: Good story is coming up for you. That's right. But

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Speaker 2: before that, we have a little morsel of a two

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Speaker 2: minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriend cheated with her friend who's living with us.

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Speaker 2: That's a complicated living situation.

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Speaker 3: I'm a twenty three year old male and my partner

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Speaker 3: is a twenty three year old female. We've been together

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Speaker 3: since we were fourteen, starting as a long distance relationship

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Speaker 3: that evolved into living together throughout college. Our relationship was solid.

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Speaker 3: Both families treated us like their own children, and we

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Speaker 3: were completely in sync with each other. By the way

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Speaker 3: this comes from, I'm only sleeping and if you want

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Speaker 3: to spit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 3: Okay Storytime, separate it.

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Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and I'm Dakota.

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Speaker 3: And Op says. During college she started talking to a

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Speaker 3: guy named Asher online. Eventually they began skyping regularly, and

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Speaker 3: I talked to him many times as well.

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Speaker 2: Okay, were you gonna say ash Roth or not?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: Is that why you paused? Why did you pause?

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Speaker 3: I was gonna say what kind of name is Asher?

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Speaker 2: No, I thought you were gonna say catch them all?

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Speaker 3: Yuh dang.

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Speaker 1: We had three completely different takes right there.

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Speaker 3: But then I felt like that would be rude to

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Speaker 3: anyone named Ashers, so I wasn't gonna say it, and

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Speaker 3: then you made me say it.

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Speaker 2: Shut out my boy, Asher, queen.

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Speaker 3: I don't know any Ashers.

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Speaker 2: Did you named a kid that? So you do know what?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah? Then I go, what kind of name is Asher?

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Speaker 3: To my kid? Every day? He's high functioning, autistic, kind

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Speaker 3: of weird at times, but you wouldn't think he had

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Speaker 3: autism if you met and I've learned that you actually

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Speaker 3: apparently put autism into like three. It's like autism one

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Speaker 3: onto something like that, like levels.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, there's tears.

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Speaker 3: I don't think it's tears. I think it's just instead

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Speaker 3: of high functioning low functioners, it's like you refer to

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Speaker 3: it in levels.

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Speaker 2: Wait, I'm trying to increase my level.

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Speaker 3: We all got along pretty well initially, though she'd sometimes

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Speaker 3: stay up with him until one to three am, which

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Speaker 3: pissed me off because we wouldn't get to spend the

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Speaker 3: night together. We argued about it frequently. Their relationship became

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Speaker 3: unhealthily close. They'd fall asleep on Skype, but keep it

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Speaker 3: running or just leave it on without even talking.

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Speaker 2: See, that's what my girlfriend and I do, and that's

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Speaker 2: what girlfriend and boyfriend should do.

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Speaker 3: You know, but they're not girlfriend boyfriend Opie.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. This is this is wrong.

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Speaker 3: This is wrong.

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Speaker 2: You should not fall asleep on discord. I will sleep

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Speaker 2: a kitten.

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Speaker 3: They leave it on without talking. I do that with

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Speaker 3: a lot of my friends. I just overnight, not overnight.

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Speaker 3: But I'm not talking about the leave it on while sleeping.

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Speaker 3: I'm talking about the other one. Oh, he said, of

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Speaker 3: just leaving it on without even talking, I do that

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Speaker 3: with a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: Wait, Dakota, do you based on your girl overnight? No? Okay,

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Speaker 2: because I actually no.

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Speaker 1: We did that one time and we both asleep.

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Speaker 2: Dude. I have a hack, and it's getting a tripod. Dude.

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Speaker 2: It has made my life so much easier.

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Speaker 3: I can't fall asleep on FaceTime.

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Speaker 2: Wait is fall asleep tripod? Hold on?

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Speaker 3: That just caught up to me.

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Speaker 2: You have a tripod for you know the thing that

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Speaker 2: face times? Yeah, you know the thing that I use

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Speaker 2: whatever I'm like face like calling Eddie or something. I

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Speaker 2: have to show him something in the computer.

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Speaker 3: Despite this, she and I were still happy together wait

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Speaker 3: wait wait wait, doing activities and maintaining our connection. Six

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Speaker 3: months ago, she graduated while I still had a full

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Speaker 3: semester left. During my final semester, I was swamped with

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Speaker 3: a capstone project and three other CS classes. She felt

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Speaker 3: lonely at home without a job, and her identity as

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Speaker 3: a student was gone. Asher also lives at home doing nothing,

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Speaker 3: no job, no education, just living in his parents' garage. Mmm,

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Speaker 3: and Lou says, as per the DSM five ASD support

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Speaker 3: needs are categorized in three levels. Yeah, okay, so I

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Speaker 3: was right.

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Speaker 2: So what I'm getting here is a lack of greater

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Speaker 2: purpose with two people, so they found each other.

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Speaker 3: Mmm.

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Speaker 2: So if you don't have a job, kind of have

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Speaker 2: a lack of purpose within how do I contribute back?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean a lot of my friends are who

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Speaker 3: are you know, graduated This is kind of their first

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Speaker 3: year as little baby adults like have had a lot

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Speaker 3: of trouble figuring out how to manage that transition where

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Speaker 3: they want to live. A lot of them either live

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Speaker 3: with their parents or are still living, you know, near

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Speaker 3: our college and it's a yeah, it's a tricky transition period,

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Speaker 3: so I understand what she's feeling. The rate at which

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Speaker 3: they talked increased dramatically. I was distracted by my coursework

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Speaker 3: and didn't realize what was happening. After I graduated two

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Speaker 3: months ago, I finally understood the situation and gave her

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Speaker 3: an ultimatum, him or me. She convinced me the compromise

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Speaker 3: unlimited contact instead, but that didn't actually happen. They seem

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Speaker 3: to need daily contact constantly on Skype or aim. Earlier

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Speaker 3: this month, Asher came to stay with us for two weeks.

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Speaker 3: I had mixed feelings, but wanted to make her happy,

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Speaker 3: even though it meant a twenty hour round trip to

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Speaker 3: pick him up. I thought to myself beforehand that I'd

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Speaker 3: regret it, and I was right.

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Speaker 2: Dude, he's trying to boing your girl.

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Speaker 3: Wait as sure the guy that is trying to take

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Speaker 3: your girl is staying with you. That was the compromise.

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Speaker 2: Oh also, their twenty hour round trip. That's that's the

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Speaker 2: cherry on top right there. So even if you kick

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Speaker 2: him out, guess what, you still.

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Speaker 3: Have to travel twenty hours. Why did you all do this?

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Speaker 4: Why?

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Speaker 3: Why?

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Speaker 2: That's a forty hour work week.

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Speaker 3: That's crazy to pick up the guy that your girlfriend's cheating.

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Speaker 2: With because a round truck is picking him up and

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Speaker 2: coming back. Yeah, boom boom ten hours. Dude.

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Speaker 3: He's been nice and generally fun, but how they interact

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Speaker 3: disturbs me. They both sat in the back of the

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Speaker 3: car together while I drove. They made you uber them.

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Speaker 2: My gosh, what is this?

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Speaker 3: Oh pee? At a certain point you gotta put your

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Speaker 3: foot down.

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Speaker 2: Is this the non confrontational, oh whatever you say kind

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Speaker 2: of guy?

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Speaker 3: The other day, I was with one of my best friends.

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Speaker 3: It was me and my other friend were in the

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Speaker 3: back of the car and uh, the friend who was

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Speaker 3: in the upfront seat left and I went, thanks, hooper driver.

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Speaker 3: She said, no, not happening. Get in the front. So

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Speaker 3: you could have just done that op Yeah, making me

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Speaker 3: feel like a dang chaperone. When I asked her to

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Speaker 3: sit up front with me, she refused. They were laying

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Speaker 3: on each other with legs crossing over. Dude, oh pee.

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Speaker 2: I was this guy once where whatever my girlfriend wanted

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Speaker 2: I did, but I would never let it get this far.

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Speaker 3: When they sit together, he touches her face and head

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Speaker 3: and grabbing it sometimes and she doesn't seem bothered. He

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Speaker 3: lays on her and sits very close, more than friends

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Speaker 3: would do. She reciprocates by laying on him, touching his feet,

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Speaker 3: laying with his big toe ros ew and leaning toward him,

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Speaker 3: even when I'm sitting right next to her. One time,

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Speaker 3: he was laying with his head touching her leg while

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Speaker 3: we watched TV ew Riley showing me his big toe.

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Speaker 2: I thought we were friends, grows, grows, I thought we

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Speaker 2: were frad.

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Speaker 3: No, get it out. She's been staying up extremely late

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Speaker 3: with them until five am one night, one am the

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Speaker 3: previous night, when we normally go to bed by midnight. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so at least emotionally okay?

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Speaker 2: Was this guy? Yeah, seems like he's cool with all this.

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Speaker 2: I would request that my girlfriend do one thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: yassidy belt. Hey, so, but.

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Speaker 3: They're emotionally cheating.

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Speaker 2: I'm okay with you emotionally cheating on me apparently, but

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Speaker 2: physically I'm not. Would you mind wearing this and if

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Speaker 2: you do take it off? I don't think I can

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Speaker 2: continue this.

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Speaker 3: That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I think I would also get the emotional cheating chastity belt,

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Speaker 1: which is just a the bottomy like just straight up

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Speaker 1: turn my brain into mush and I don't care anymore.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, emotions.

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Speaker 1: These people would never see you or hear from me again. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I saw this behave if you're happening, I would, dude,

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Speaker 1: immediately become a feeling and live in the wood.

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Speaker 2: To imagine driving ten hours there picking up the guy

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Speaker 2: and you have to drive another ten.

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Speaker 3: Hours playing with his big toe.

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Speaker 2: No, I would be like, get out.

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Speaker 3: I would be like, you can walk, you can use

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Speaker 3: that walk.

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Speaker 2: Fifteen minutes into the trip, Okay, you got to get out.

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Speaker 2: Here's a restaurant.

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Speaker 3: I need to know if I'm being crazy or if

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Speaker 3: these behaviors are something I should worry about. And there

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Speaker 3: is an update? Oh pee, why are you worrying about them?

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Speaker 3: So little brother? You gotta worry about the way more.

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Speaker 2: You let this go on too long. You shouldn't even

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Speaker 2: let him sleep over at night.

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Speaker 3: To get Yeah, I shouldn't have gone to pick him

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Speaker 3: up twenty hours to pick up the guy that's cheating

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Speaker 3: with your girlfriend is wild? Move brother, wild dude.

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Speaker 2: Imagine these Reddit comments right after he posted it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh, the comments are like you need to wake the fox,

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Speaker 1: wake the girl out, Like what are you doing I

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Speaker 1: was like the top comments, It's like, can you imagine

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Speaker 1: driving twenty hours to pick this guy up now and

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Speaker 1: then do nothing about it?

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Speaker 3: No, I certainly cannot, But there is an update. After

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Speaker 3: posting this, around midnight, I waited for comments that gave

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Speaker 3: me confidence to address the situation. They would probably mean comments.

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Speaker 3: I went to bed and asked my SO to stay

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Speaker 3: with me, saying I needed to tell her something. She

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Speaker 3: said she'd be back in a bed. I stayed up

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Speaker 3: all night waiting for her until I fell asleep at

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Speaker 3: five am. When I got up to pee, I saw

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Speaker 3: him on a laptop with her sleeping on the couch

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Speaker 3: next to him. I woke up again later and found

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Speaker 3: he was finally in the guest room, while she was

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Speaker 3: still on the couch. I gently woke her and we

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Speaker 3: went to bed together. At two pm, I woke her

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Speaker 3: up for the conversation we should have had days ago.

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Speaker 3: After discussing the inappropriate behavior, which she agreed was problematic,

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Speaker 3: I told her I was thinking about punting him out

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Speaker 3: real quick.

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Speaker 2: He woke her up at two pm.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he let her sleep. After seeing her sleep with

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Speaker 3: the other guy. He went to bed. Sorry, okay, just

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Speaker 3: to understand that again, I'm gonna condense that he stayed

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Speaker 3: up all night, presumably she was in the other room. Sure,

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Speaker 3: he stayed up all night waiting for her to come back,

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Speaker 3: falls asleep at five am, wakes up, sees her sleeping

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Speaker 3: with this guy, lets it lie, comes back out, sees

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Speaker 3: she's still sleeping there. They go back to bed, still

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Speaker 3: doesn't bring it up, and then at two pm finally

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Speaker 3: has the conversation, Wow.

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Speaker 2: This is what happens when you don't have a purpose,

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Speaker 2: You just and she's attaching herself to this other guy

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Speaker 2: and they're just kind of, you know, together, wondrously walking

228
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Speaker 2: around the earth doing whatever. Yeah, she thinks it's fine, Like,

229
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Speaker 2: so why was when people get lost crazy?

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Speaker 3: She didn't like this idea, but as we argued about it,

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Speaker 3: I decided I was going to do it. Once he

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Speaker 3: woke up as I was getting dressed. That's when she

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Speaker 3: told me they kissed last night. Of course they did.

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Speaker 2: And you can kiss my ars goodbye.

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Speaker 3: See, they were literally sleeping together, slightly crying. I immediately

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Speaker 3: went to the guest room, banged on the door and

237
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Speaker 3: punted it open. He was sleeping on an air mattress

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Speaker 3: below me. I should have punted his effing face and

239
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,560
Speaker 3: thrown him out violently instead, knowing only about the kiss.

240
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Speaker 3: Is there more that you now know about? I angrily

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00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,959
Speaker 3: but calmly told him to get the f out. He

242
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,880
Speaker 3: instantly woke up and nearly fell off the bed with

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Speaker 3: fear in his eyes. I repeatedly told him I wasn't

244
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Speaker 3: going to hit him, which I now regret. I told

245
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Speaker 3: him to use the bathroom quickly and pack his crap.

246
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,960
Speaker 3: While he was in the bathroom, I gathered his belongings

247
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Speaker 3: in the living room so he could pack faster. When

248
00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,680
Speaker 3: I felt he was taking too long, I banged on

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Speaker 3: the door, saying, if you don't come out soon, I'm

250
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,960
Speaker 3: gonna have to come in there and get you out.

251
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Speaker 3: He came out and packed up. When he was almost done,

252
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Speaker 3: my s so started pleading for me not to punt

253
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Speaker 3: him out. I immediately interrupted, shut the f u I

254
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,440
Speaker 3: can get really mean, real fast. Then I was out

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Speaker 3: the door with him.

256
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,760
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but the speech.

257
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Speaker 3: Why is it happening now?

258
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Speaker 2: Yeah?

259
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,400
Speaker 3: It's like, clearly, op, he is capable of a lot

260
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:18,160
Speaker 3: of you know, aggression and confrontation. Why is it? Why

261
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Speaker 3: is it now coming out.

262
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Speaker 2: Also, the way he's going about it, I'm like, not great.

263
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,280
Speaker 2: I can get really mean real fast.

264
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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's just kick him out or you leave, you

265
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Speaker 3: break up with them.

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Speaker 2: I feel this is my personal opinion in these moments,

267
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Speaker 2: whenever you're angry, the quieter you are, the bore deadly,

268
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Speaker 2: you can make the situation. Yeah, it's like get out,

269
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Speaker 2: ooh oo.

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Speaker 3: Made you made yourself scared. Yeah, then I was out

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Speaker 3: the door with him. I should mention that I always

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00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,480
Speaker 3: made sick jokes with this guy nobody else, and he

273
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,360
Speaker 3: didn't like it either, But I do it anyway. For example,

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Speaker 3: the day before I printed out a shopping with but

275
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,960
Speaker 3: also included pictures of a mask, rope, knife, and duct tape.

276
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,200
Speaker 3: When he saw it while shopping, I told him those

277
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,600
Speaker 3: were things I needed for our hiking trip in the woods.

278
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Speaker 3: He found it awkward and disturbing, while I laughed. I

279
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,280
Speaker 3: don't like you. I don't think.

280
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Speaker 2: I think everyone in this situation sucks. Here needs new

281
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,280
Speaker 2: friend groups and new social circles.

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Speaker 3: What do you mean you make sick jokes with just

283
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Speaker 3: this guy?

284
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,960
Speaker 2: Who are you that right there? That joke makes me

285
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,320
Speaker 2: feel like your subconscious knows what's happening. Yeah, but you're

286
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,280
Speaker 2: not like accepting it, and your suconsciounce is like, I

287
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,559
Speaker 2: want to take this guy out of the middle of

288
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Speaker 2: the woods.

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00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, weird. Two days before punting him out, I'd gotten

290
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:42,400
Speaker 3: very wasted. Starting at lunch, I played GTA online, flying

291
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,199
Speaker 3: planes into buildings while crying and listening to that song

292
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Speaker 3: on repeat for hours.

293
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Speaker 2: Dude, this is going downhill so fast.

294
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,240
Speaker 3: I also wrote love messages to my esso and notepads

295
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,760
Speaker 3: during bathroom breaks. I never do crap like that, but

296
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,920
Speaker 3: I was so disturbed by the situation that I hit

297
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,720
Speaker 3: in myself and inadvertently pushed my ESSO away. Days later,

298
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Speaker 3: I found out he told my esso I was unstable

299
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:11,840
Speaker 3: during that time. That's true. You are very clearly unstable.

300
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:12,640
Speaker 2: Yep.

301
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,080
Speaker 3: I would agree with him on that.

302
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:18,120
Speaker 2: A lot of things that are unsettling about this story, so.

303
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,000
Speaker 3: That combination works great. When I was punting him out,

304
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,720
Speaker 3: he thought I was unstable and possibly dangerous. You see

305
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,480
Speaker 3: him both. It seems like you are both unstable and

306
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:29,680
Speaker 3: possibly dangerous.

307
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,080
Speaker 1: Nah, it's just the fun little game.

308
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,000
Speaker 2: He's a ruse.

309
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,720
Speaker 1: He's just playing five dimensional chessh.

310
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Speaker 3: My calm anger must have freaked him out completely. I

311
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,160
Speaker 3: told him i'd drop him at a hotel. He was

312
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,040
Speaker 3: going to sit and back, but I made him sit

313
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:49,160
Speaker 3: up front. I wanted him as uncomfortable as possible. While driving,

314
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,400
Speaker 3: I thought about taking him to the woods as a joke.

315
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,760
Speaker 3: I live in a rural area, so that wouldn't have

316
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,240
Speaker 3: been that hard this time. The sick joke was meant

317
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,560
Speaker 3: to scare him, but my desire to get him away

318
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,560
Speaker 3: from me overrode my desire or to scare him. I

319
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,160
Speaker 3: took him straight to a hotel. As I parked, I

320
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:08,080
Speaker 3: told him, don't try to contact my SHO unless she

321
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,960
Speaker 3: contacts you. Because of free will and all.

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Speaker 2: You did not do that.

323
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:13,800
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you didn't do that.

324
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Speaker 2: Bro did not say that.

325
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,640
Speaker 3: More importantly, I drove back to my s O, who

326
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,480
Speaker 3: was taking a shower. When I got back, I opened

327
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,960
Speaker 3: the bathroom door as she was drying off. I immediately asked

328
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,520
Speaker 3: if anything else happened besides the kiss. She didn't answer

329
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 3: right away. I repeatedly asked, becoming more agitated as she

330
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,440
Speaker 3: stayed silent, thinking the worst. Then she told me that

331
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,560
Speaker 3: other stuff had happened too, and that.

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Speaker 2: Can you can you be very creative with how you

333
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,000
Speaker 2: say it because our podcast listeners.

334
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,640
Speaker 3: Then she told me went to third base, that he

335
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,360
Speaker 3: he did some typing practice, he.

336
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 1: Did some head shoulders food and uh.

337
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,240
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

338
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,040
Speaker 3: I immediately broke down, crying and broke her cell phone

339
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,720
Speaker 3: to prevent them from contacting each other right away. Dude,

340
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:11,120
Speaker 3: you're such an idiot you broke her cell phone. Stop it.

341
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,320
Speaker 3: You are unstable, dude, it's weird. She needs to get

342
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,200
Speaker 3: out of there. Like, obviously she's the a hole for

343
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,000
Speaker 3: cheating on you, but she needs to get out of

344
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,560
Speaker 3: there because she's not safe.

345
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,640
Speaker 2: She probably didn't feel like she could get out of there.

346
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,480
Speaker 2: That's why she's been doing this with this other guy.

347
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:28,520
Speaker 3: I mean, like, you are very clearly unstable, Opie. In

348
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,240
Speaker 3: the next few days are a blur of crying, sleeping,

349
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,720
Speaker 3: and randomly driving around. It's been a rough week, though

350
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 3: we're both feeling better now. What we've talked extensively that

351
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,560
Speaker 3: what happened, leaving nothing as an elephant in the room. No,

352
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 3: you've always been truthful with each other and discussed everything. Huh.

353
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 1: This person needs to be your insignificant other, an insignificant stranger.

354
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,600
Speaker 3: Not only do you need to break up with her,

355
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,320
Speaker 3: for her cheating on you. She needs to break up

356
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 3: with you because you're acting crazy. There's a little bit

357
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,680
Speaker 3: left to the story, but it sounds like they're staying

358
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:04,119
Speaker 3: together and that's insane. Well, you know why they love

359
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:04,560
Speaker 3: each other.

360
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 2: They've been together since fourteen. This is all they ever know.

361
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,920
Speaker 3: Apparently, Apparently they don't know how a relationship and properly.

362
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,600
Speaker 2: The biggest thing that I'm seeing here is how they

363
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,880
Speaker 2: are super codependent on one another, and they don't. I don't

364
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,320
Speaker 2: think they realize that one breaking up to an option

365
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 2: and that two you can go out and do things.

366
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,439
Speaker 2: Because we can clearly see here with a girlfriend one,

367
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,959
Speaker 2: she has a lack of greater purpose. She doesn't really

368
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,920
Speaker 2: seem to have that many like social.

369
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,120
Speaker 3: Circles, doesn't seem like she has a lot of friends.

370
00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. And and the person she did make a friend of,

371
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 2: she's had to convince her boyfriend to become this friend.

372
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 2: This guy had other intentions. He's kind of also in

373
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,679
Speaker 2: the same boat. Yeah, And of course they make a

374
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,119
Speaker 2: dependent relationship there. And this isn't good. This isn't good

375
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,119
Speaker 2: for anyone.

376
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,840
Speaker 3: All bad, all bad across the board.

377
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 2: Wow, this is crazy, break up, break up now, hopefully

378
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,360
Speaker 2: you bought a new phone and got her some flowers. Yeah,

379
00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:55,600
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't even know that hell.

380
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 3: Broke hurt phone. That's insane. We love each other the

381
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 3: same way we did before we realized situational factors played

382
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:09,200
Speaker 3: a role. What situational factors? That you saw that they

383
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,680
Speaker 3: were cheating on you and did nothing and then went crazy,

384
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 3: and that she cheated on you, those are the situational factors.

385
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,560
Speaker 3: She cheated on you, though she still takes full responsibility.

386
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 3: I thought Asher was my friend, but he completely disrespected

387
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 3: me and did one of the worst things possible. I

388
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,120
Speaker 3: will never talk to him again, and neither will my ESSO.

389
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,119
Speaker 3: I doubt that. If I ever see him, I plan

390
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,200
Speaker 3: to punt him in the face. If my ESO ever

391
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:38,359
Speaker 3: talks to him again, I will leave her. Leave her now. Yeah, no,

392
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 3: you won't, bro You didn't even leave her now. She

393
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 3: cheated on you physically and emotionally going to contact him.

394
00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 3: The only reason I've forgiven her for doing the worst

395
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,879
Speaker 3: thing she could do to me is because of how

396
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,919
Speaker 3: much I love her. Yikes, she's my soulmate, and I

397
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 3: understand the situational factors, and that she didn't fully understand

398
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,640
Speaker 3: what was happening.

399
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 2: Didn't fully understand what was happening. Oh, it's just typing practice.

400
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 3: What do you mean she didn't understand what was happening.

401
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,679
Speaker 2: Stayed up all night, she was playing with the big.

402
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 3: Seem like she understood when she was talking to him

403
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 3: all night, seemed like she understood when she went twenty

404
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,640
Speaker 3: hours to go pick him up.

405
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 2: So she could play with his big toe in the

406
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 2: back seat.

407
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,439
Speaker 3: And certainly seemed like she understood when she hooked up

408
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 3: with them.

409
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,920
Speaker 2: Boom boom boom. It's the really, the most disturbing thing

410
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 2: to me is definitely what ope he's doing here. It's

411
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 2: a big toe. It's a big toe thing.

412
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,159
Speaker 3: For me in the back seat.

413
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 2: That's weird. That's different.

414
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,479
Speaker 3: Even I didn't part denial, part weird crap going on.

415
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 3: I do blame her and hold her accountable. She now

416
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:41,359
Speaker 3: needs to earn my trust again, especially regarding online communication

417
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:42,639
Speaker 3: with others.

418
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 2: Oh, now it's even worse because now you're gonna see

419
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 2: and look over everything she does online.

420
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 3: Yikes, he's gonna be so controlling. Like again, he broke

421
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 3: her phone and did all of this crazy stuff. After

422
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 3: finding that out, there's no way that he's not gonna

423
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 3: be look it over her shoulder at everything.

424
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 2: She needs to earn my trust again? Hikes, this is

425
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 2: Is that a sentence you can ask someone, Hey, you

426
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,439
Speaker 2: need to earn my trust again? Can you say that

427
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:08,880
Speaker 2: to someone?

428
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 3: I think you can. But there are situations where it

429
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 3: becomes very controlling. But that's the end of that story, folks.

430
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 3: And we've got another one coming right up.

431
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 2: My girlfriend's D and D role play with another guy

432
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 2: continued outside of the game.

433
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 3: Ooh, they got a little bit into.

434
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 4: Their characters and a little bit into each other.

435
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 2: A bit of context. My female twenty three girlfriend, female

436
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 2: twenty one of eight years, has been with her D

437
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,199
Speaker 2: and D group for let's say two years or so.

438
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 2: In every campaign they had, she's never established a romantic

439
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 2: relationship with any of the other players characters. Neither does

440
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:49,160
Speaker 2: the DM, giving her roots to have any romantic relationships

441
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 2: strictly platonic. By the way, this comes from karasou Oa.

442
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 2: And if you want to speak your own stories, what

443
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 2: are the r slash okay story telling subreddit? I'm Riley,

444
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm key on no, he says this new campaign. However,

445
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 2: I found out that one of the new players that

446
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 2: will hide with the name Josh Mel twenty one. I've

447
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 2: pitched an idea of his character and my girlfriend's character

448
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 2: falling in a loving relationship. He pitched it, Yeah, Is

449
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:20,160
Speaker 2: that okay?

450
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 3: Personally? If he's pitching it as them falling in love,

451
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,160
Speaker 3: that is a little weird to me because you don't

452
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 3: usually plan that.

453
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 4: It's usually a brand new character, like a it seems

454
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 4: like a new.

455
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 3: Normally, what I would let's say I were pitching this,

456
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,639
Speaker 3: it would be like we have a relationship or we

457
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 3: had a relationship and that is our character background, like

458
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 3: we're divorced or whatever. It wouldn't be like I want

459
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 3: to fall in love because that's an improv quo quote.

460
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:51,200
Speaker 2: My Archer character human Archer needs a key in your queen,

461
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 2: and I pitched the idea that I have to sleep

462
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 2: with the queen in order to you is that weird?

463
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 3: If not? If it were in game?

464
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 2: Now now real quick, what if my Archer care needs

465
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:04,360
Speaker 2: to sleep with the little Grimlin guy and it's Keon's character,

466
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,920
Speaker 2: and I pitched that I have to sleep with But.

467
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 3: That would be in game. You would be saying, like

468
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 3: during the game, you'd be like I want to roll

469
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,880
Speaker 3: to do this, or like, oh, this is my plan.

470
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,479
Speaker 3: You wouldn't do that when you were creating characters.

471
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 2: Even if your character is the Queen and his is

472
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 2: the Gremlin. If it's in game, it doesn't matter. But

473
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 2: if I'm like, mine should hook up with your character,

474
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 2: that's weird. Yeah I would say mine should hook up

475
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 2: with Keon's character. Is that weird?

476
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 3: But no, I'm just saying.

477
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 2: I'm just if it's like male the male, if that's weird.

478
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 2: If it's male the female outside of the game, it's

479
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 2: still weird birthways.

480
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,199
Speaker 3: I'm not even seeing it as like, oh, it's a

481
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,679
Speaker 3: weird thing, male or female. I'm just saying it doesn't

482
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 3: make sense game mechanic to pre plan relationship because it's not.

483
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 2: Improv Can we get a poll real quick?

484
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 3: But I think that is weird for him to say.

485
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:52,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, cheating or na real quick. At first I was confused,

486
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 2: but then went with it, considering as an RPG and

487
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 2: doesn't really translate into real life. My girlfriend is also

488
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 2: an artist, so she creates arts works for other players,

489
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 2: which I find absolutely great for her since she gets

490
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 2: to exercise her skills and such, so naturally in her instinct.

491
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 2: She will draw her character and Josh's character in romantic

492
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: comments that illustrates as to what is happening to the

493
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 2: campaign and to show me, hey, look it's my and

494
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,919
Speaker 2: Josh's character and would explain that this was what was

495
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 2: currently happening in the campaign. As usual. I find her

496
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 2: works awesome and I get interested with the story, so

497
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 2: I tell her to keep me updated. Every now and then,

498
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 2: she keeps giving me updates about the romantic progression of

499
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 2: her and Josh's character, and there were times where I

500
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,919
Speaker 2: felt awkward about it, but I didn't press her for it.

501
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 2: She showed me a conversation of her and Josh from

502
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 2: her phone that was talking about the campaign and their

503
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: characters love for one another and all that that it

504
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 2: came to the point of me feeling weird about it.

505
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 2: This is also whenever coworkers have a this is my

506
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 2: work wife m M that kind of vibe.

507
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 3: It is a little bit different, but again because it

508
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 3: was premeditated, I think it is.

509
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 4: A little weird, Like, can you I imagine He's like,

510
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,680
Speaker 4: I can't wait to go see my girlfriend today at

511
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 4: D and D.

512
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 3: Like I think if they were coming, they were like, oh,

513
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 3: my God, and like this character we had like my character,

514
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 3: Like we realized this whole thing, and it was coming

515
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 3: from purely a storytelling thing. But again, I think because

516
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 3: he was like, I want my character to be in

517
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 3: love with your character.

518
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 4: And that's the only story.

519
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the only story. It's like, what that's.

520
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 4: My character's background is my character falls in love with

521
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 4: your character.

522
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 3: It doesn't even make sense to plan that.

523
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 2: I know this might be a bad move that I made,

524
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,959
Speaker 2: but I had a hunch that something else was going on.

525
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 2: This is all she could talk about was her and

526
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 2: Josh and their characters. I took a peek at their

527
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,919
Speaker 2: conversation from her phone. I know privacy and all, but

528
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 2: we both don't necessarily mind if we look into each

529
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 2: other's phones as we do it all the time went away,

530
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 2: I just got weirded out even more. I saw chats

531
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,199
Speaker 2: and texts of them, both with romantic undertones and even

532
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,360
Speaker 2: spicy related ones, as if they were both role playing,

533
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 2: as if their characters even outside of the game.

534
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 3: Weird, weird, weird. Why are you role playing as your

535
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 3: characters outside of the game in a romantic context?

536
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 2: That's weird, Sophia, How else am I supposed to get.

537
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 3: Better in prova or in D and D.

538
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 2: D one that takes time and money. Why can't I

539
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 2: just text the person I'm already role playing with and.

540
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,120
Speaker 3: Just role playing with them. I think it's totally fine

541
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 3: to have people have role playing groups all the time.

542
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 3: I think, do you have a one on one role

543
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 3: playing group where you're having a romantic relationship with someone?

544
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 3: Is weird?

545
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 2: For example, Josh referring to my partner as her partner's

546
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 2: name and vice versa, and my blood instantly boiled in

547
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,479
Speaker 2: my disbelief. When she woke up. I immediately confronted her

548
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 2: about it, and she was just like, it's D and D.

549
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 2: We roll play.

550
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 3: That's such a cop out. No, And you guys know me,

551
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 3: like I have the like we read other stories where

552
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 3: I've been like, no, this is just D and D.

553
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 3: That's role playing. They're improvising. This is not that. There's

554
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 3: a huge difference.

555
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 4: If I was weird, I wouldn't done what OPI was doing. Yeah,

556
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 4: I would have gone to like could I see a

557
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 4: session or could I joined in a session as like

558
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 4: a one off character or just like an NPC.

559
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 2: And like, I get that, but it's necessary for them

560
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: to do all that even outside of the campaign. No,

561
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 2: maybe I'm just overthinking it. What do you guys think

562
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 2: we have some comments?

563
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 3: You know, what is normal outside of campaign? Oh my god,

564
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 3: Like Mike, like, that was really cool thing that your

565
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 3: character did. That's crazy, Like that was really interesting storyline.

566
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 2: Oh, it'd be interesting if you had this potion. I've

567
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,719
Speaker 2: ever thought of this potion. We just could do this.

568
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 3: Wait, okay, I know we have a battle coming up.

569
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,919
Speaker 3: Do you think that if we like strategize.

570
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 4: Like what's our what's our tactics here?

571
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's normal. Not Oh, it'd be crazy if like

572
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 2: the next time our people have made like she like

573
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 2: does her weird thing with her thing and then her

574
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 2: crazy ponytail does this with my butt and then ye yeah.

575
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 4: I really wish you were on my dn D session

576
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 4: because it sounded exactly like that. You think I'm kidding.

577
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 2: This makes me think, does she not feel threatened by

578
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 2: Josh at first because she's like, oh, my partner is lesbian? Well,

579
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 2: we don't know, she could be bye, but like she's

580
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 2: attracted to me. I'm not threatened by Josh because I

581
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 2: know she's attracted to me. But what I'm trying to

582
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,199
Speaker 2: say is she's in a relationship with OP. She's like, Oh,

583
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 2: I'm not threatened, it's just Josh whate. That's probably another

584
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 2: thing happening here, potentially so coming number one. It's weird

585
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 2: that the DM would even allow this. This is a

586
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 2: really common problem with an easy rule workaround no relationships

587
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,440
Speaker 2: between PC characters, simple enough. But yeah, it's super weird

588
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 2: and I would be sketched out too, especially because they

589
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 2: are talking it oh oge out of game. I considered

590
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: this emotional cheating in my opinion, not really one for ultimatums,

591
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 2: but I'd pretty much let my significant other know it's

592
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 2: me or them continue to fantasy role play relationship or

593
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 2: have a real one with me your choice. Ope, says

594
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 2: the DM actually told them basically, Hey, this is a

595
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 2: new route for us to try and drama for the

596
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 2: entire team and the storyline, so let's try it out.

597
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 2: By says, Oh, so the DM is enabling it. Gotcha?

598
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 2: Why does this feel premeditated?

599
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 3: Because it was premeditated. He asked to have this relationship

600
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,440
Speaker 3: before the campaign started.

601
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 2: Does this new guy like your girlfriend? And got the

602
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 2: DM to play along with them so he can re

603
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 2: enact his fantasy with her under the guise of role play.

604
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 2: Super creepy ope, he says, honestly, I have no idea

605
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 2: if he does or not. Plus even if we ask

606
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 2: him about it, he'll just downright deny it. I find

607
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 2: it also weird that my girlfriend has established that she's

608
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 2: a sapphig and hates anything has to do romantically with men,

609
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 2: but role plays different. I guess you can say, but

610
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 2: her character might be straight, but it feels off for me.

611
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 3: No, okay, okay, Well that goes to your point of

612
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 3: the girlfriend being like, oh, it's not a problem because

613
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 3: I'm not interested in men. Again, I do believe there's

614
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 3: something fishy going on here, But in the sense of

615
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 3: like D and D, I think it's pretty common for

616
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 3: people to play very different characters to themselves, because again,

617
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 3: it is a character. Like I've played characters that are

618
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 3: men in D and D, which is just like totally

619
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 3: different from like obviously me. I think the issue here

620
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 3: is that they're taking this outside of game and premeditating it,

621
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 3: and I think.

622
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 2: That's strange comming too. Your reaction is valid, as with

623
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 2: anything that comes to fantasy. The problem lies when it

624
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 2: started to affect real life.

625
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 3: Agreed.

626
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 2: The same happens more often than not when work, school, church,

627
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 2: or whatever. Friends start doing this outside of the place

628
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: of meeting and without their partner or significant other. Always

629
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: start intentionally, and it is very easy to view it

630
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: as just friends when on the inside, so they can't

631
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 2: see when boundaries are being crossed and emotional cheating is started.

632
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 2: If you two have a solid relationship, then definitely have

633
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 2: a talk with her about these things and that whole campaigning.

634
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 2: You are totally cool with it since it's in the game,

635
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 2: others are participating and so on. It's the taking it

636
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 2: to the real world that has you concerned, because it

637
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 2: is very easy to step into problem territory without realizing it.

638
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 2: It is very possible that her gamemate could have a

639
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 2: thing for her, so, whether intentional or not, it's encouraging

640
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 2: and inappropriate via the game without knowing if she's super

641
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,479
Speaker 2: naive and not picking up on it, or if she's

642
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: just openly enjoying the flattery, or even if she is

643
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 2: interested in him as well and utilizing this in a

644
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 2: way to see what happens. Nobody but her and you

645
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 2: can say talk to and discuss what's happening and how

646
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 2: it is causing you her in concern. Hopefully she will

647
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 2: understand and cut the communication to just game night, or

648
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 2: at least cut the role playing communication to that. If

649
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 2: she doesn't, then the next cushion would have to be

650
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: about the relationship between you both and whether or not

651
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 2: she wants to continue it.

652
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: I think that's a great point. I think another way

653
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 3: to look at it is like when I'm doing a

654
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 3: play that has like intimacy choreography in it, Like usually

655
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 3: if you're doing like a you know, a play that

656
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 3: has good safety measures around it and stuff, Yeah, wouldn't

657
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 3: go tell your actors to go practice the kiss at home.

658
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 3: You would do that with a choreographer and with the

659
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 3: director there and be like, okay, this is these are

660
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 3: the beats. Okay, now this is the part where we kiss,

661
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 3: And a lot of times you don't even do that

662
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 3: kiss until much later. And so in this sense, you

663
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 3: wouldn't be role playing at home together alone and not

664
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 3: in the actual campaign. Yeah, I think this is weird.

665
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 3: Whether or not she's into him, he's.

666
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 2: Her Oh absolutely. If I'm a game night and I'm

667
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 2: entertaining this kind of conversation, yeah, I said a game

668
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: I'm definitely into this person. Come on, so update John here.

669
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this juicy story, but a

670
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 1: quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

671
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 2: I've opened this up to my girlfriend once more after

672
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 2: taking a few hours to cool off and think what

673
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 2: my next actions are. Her reasoning was basically, it's only

674
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 2: role playing for me, since that's what we players do

675
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 2: and we role play in general. Am I reply to

676
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 2: that was I know it's role playing, and I know

677
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 2: that's what you do with D and D, but what

678
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 2: you and Josh are doing is taking it to another

679
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 2: level by being private and even talking in a spicy

680
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 2: related manner. I've told her what she did started to

681
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 2: hurt me in an emotional way, and I somewhat felt

682
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 2: betrayed that she would even have the thought of doing it.

683
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: It came to the point where tears were being brought

684
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: out because I couldn't control my emotions and frustrations anymore.

685
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 2: She gave me a hug and apologized for her actions

686
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 2: and told me, I didn't know that this was going

687
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: to affect you this much. It really was just a

688
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 2: game for me. I enjoyed it too much that I

689
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 2: started neglecting what you're feeling and Honestly, at that point,

690
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 2: all I could do was cry. He then sat me

691
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 2: up next to her laptop station and pulled up the

692
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 2: conversation with her DM and told him to erase every

693
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: part of the story that had anything to do with

694
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 2: the love story between her character and Josh's. The DM's confusion,

695
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 2: he said, but I already finished the story for the campaign,

696
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 2: so now I'll have to redo it again. After that,

697
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 2: she told me she was going to chat with Josh.

698
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 3: I don't understand why the player character relationship has so

699
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 3: much to do with the story of the campaign.

700
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 2: MMMM week campaign, because a lot of movies and stuff

701
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 2: usually rely on a relationship and maybe the campaign's.

702
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 3: A week and so in other campaigns, I'm basing this

703
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 3: off of a lot of like the D twenty campaigns

704
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 3: I've seen, there's a lot of romantic relationships in those stories.

705
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 2: And tell them about the situation and that it was

706
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 2: already too much. I was watching by her side as

707
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 2: she did it, telling Josh that it was wrong and

708
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 2: she saw the wrong in it now and that she

709
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 2: was going to walk away from this role play romance.

710
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 2: After a few minutes later, Josh replied and basically said, uh, Okay,

711
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,800
Speaker 2: can I keep all the art though we have a

712
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: little bit more. What do you think the art is now?

713
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, well, I don't want that art. You

714
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 3: just want it because it's cool art and it's good,

715
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 3: well for other reasons suspicious.

716
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 2: After that, she decided to take a break from interacting

717
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 2: with their D and D friends and decided to hang

718
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 2: out with me the rest of the day. Though. After

719
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: the hangout, me resting on her arm while watching TV,

720
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 2: she decided to check her phone for updates in their

721
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 2: group chat and showed me the conversation of Josh and

722
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 2: the others still going at the topic of his character

723
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 2: and her character being together and all the art and whatnot,

724
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 2: as if he's very still into it. She asked me

725
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 2: if she should intervene with her friends now. I just

726
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 2: gave her a look. She nodded, and texting them to

727
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: stop with the issue. I don't know if this was

728
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 2: the right move for me to make, since people in

729
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 2: the comments told me it's basically cheating, but for now

730
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 2: I'm relieved it ended. Yeah.

731
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 3: I guess my final comments on this is going back

732
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 3: to the confusion about this DM setup, because when you

733
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 3: have two non player characters, the DM has almost complete

734
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,760
Speaker 3: control over their relationship. Let's say they're in a romantic relationship.

735
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,760
Speaker 3: If you have a non player character and a player

736
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,800
Speaker 3: a PC better character who are in a relationship, the

737
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 3: DM has control over what that not NPC does, okay,

738
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 3: but not over what the player does, okay. And when

739
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 3: you have two player characters in a romantic relationship, the

740
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 3: DM has no control. I don't understand why. He was like, well,

741
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 3: I have to change my entire storyline. You can't plan

742
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,800
Speaker 3: anything that your players do. I feel like the DM

743
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 3: was in on it.

744
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,280
Speaker 2: Bro, Bro, I'm kind of into this chicken.

745
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 3: Yeah. It's like when the teacher. It's like the teacher

746
00:35:58,480 --> 00:35:59,919
Speaker 3: puts two kids who have a crush.

747
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:00,359
Speaker 1: Yeah.

748
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 4: I feel like that. Again, the DM was enabling it.

749
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,720
Speaker 4: But the DEM was like, okay, guys, let's do something different.

750
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 4: They're like, why don't we just base this off like

751
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 4: just a romantic relationship.

752
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 2: You're like that.

753
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 3: Doesn't it make sense?

754
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 4: Why?

755
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,919
Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story. Well, we got

756
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 3: another story book. I'm co parenting with my boyfriend's X

757
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 3: and it's a nightmare.

758
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 2: I was like, you need to wake up.

759
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 3: I started dating my partner about a year ago. He

760
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 3: told me from the jump that he had kids and

761
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 3: actively co parented with his ex. I couldn't have the kids,

762
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 3: so the idea of being a bonus mom appealed to me.

763
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Bag three sixty seven,

764
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 3: and if you want to smit your own stories, go

765
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay, storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia,

766
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 3: I'm Riley, and.

767
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh, all the time.

768
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 4: That is the third time she sent it today.

769
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 2: No, no, I apolo josic human I see you as

770
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,479
Speaker 2: a human. Anyways, let's do it again.

771
00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, Oh I have time, I'm ke

772
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 4: On and op says.

773
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 3: I realized quickly, though, that their situation wasn't typical. On paper,

774
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 3: it's fifty to fifty, but in reality he has them

775
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,439
Speaker 3: eighty twenty. She had moved too far away to get

776
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 3: the kids to school on time without them having to

777
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 3: wake up at the crack of dawn. She has a

778
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 3: job with a set in time, so it's the only

779
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 3: way they decided it could work. She does stuff with

780
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 3: their sports and its two weekends a month. About three

781
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 3: months into us dating, I had to go on a

782
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,359
Speaker 3: date with her, essentially for her to feel me out.

783
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 3: It was their agreement. The whole thing was weird, but

784
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 3: she approved of me. So I got to meet the kids.

785
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 3: A few months later. I moved in a few months later,

786
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 3: you moved in. Girl. Also, just like, what is the

787
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 3: dad doing? I mean, personally, I feel like, if you

788
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 3: had kids in the picture, take a little bit longer,

789
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 3: you know, to introduce Yeah, yes, II one hundred percent.

790
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 4: No.

791
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 3: By most people's common timelines, it was fast. It was

792
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 3: a necessity thing that ended up working out better for

793
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 3: both of us. He's a disabled amputee veteran who has

794
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 3: problems cleaning around the house. The kids also got into

795
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 3: STEM programs across town from each other, so having someone

796
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 3: else to take one is essential now that school has started.

797
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,760
Speaker 3: So you moved in so that you could help him

798
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 3: care for his kids.

799
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 2: All right, you're very sweet. Seems like a very sweet

800
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 2: thing to do.

801
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 3: It is a very sweet thing to do.

802
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,800
Speaker 2: I just also, you're giving a lot of yourself very quickly.

803
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 3: Yes, honestly, they took to me really quickly, and I

804
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,359
Speaker 3: to them. I couldn't imagine life without the three of them.

805
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 3: I know he's ring shopping so this is my fit.

806
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 3: Here are the issues. She claims to want a co

807
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 3: parent with all of us. She has a partner his

808
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 3: ex wife and them don't co parent well at all.

809
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 3: She wants better with me and my partner, or so

810
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 3: she says. She won't acknowledge me on social media. She

811
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 3: won't take my picks from events and tag my partner

812
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 3: and act like they are there together co parenting. I

813
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 3: eventually got tired of it and blocked her. He won't

814
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 3: accept her tags now unless they really were doing it

815
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,839
Speaker 3: together and it's like a big day event. As far

816
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 3: as the schooling goes, I know full well classroom management

817
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 3: and grades is their area, not my place. But I

818
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 3: drew drop my bonus daughter off every morning. I will

819
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 3: be going to field trips and helping with projects for

820
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 3: both kids, homework if needed, that kind of stuff. But

821
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 3: anytime something comes up that it doesn't fall in her plans,

822
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 3: she claims we need to put her before me. Example,

823
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 3: meet the teacher. I could only go to the morning

824
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 3: session her the PM for our son, so me and

825
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 3: my partner went. I introduced myself to the teachers as

826
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 3: bonus mom said their mom would be at the afternoon

827
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 3: one after work, got the info we needed, even pre

828
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 3: shared it with her. Mmmmm, Well she got there and

829
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 3: said everyone thought I was the mom, so in the

830
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,319
Speaker 3: future he needed to attend the events only with her.

831
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,280
Speaker 2: Oh appearances, y'all.

832
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 3: She can't even make a single school thing because her

833
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 3: job times won't allow it. She's a teacher as well,

834
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 3: and another district, so the chances of her stepping foot

835
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 3: at the school all year are slim. But we tried

836
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 3: everything to make sure everyone and was involved, and that

837
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 3: wasn't good enough. Fast forward to tonight. We were talking

838
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 3: about the school district scores for ours and the neighboring towns.

839
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 3: My twin is a teacher, so me, my twin, and

840
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,360
Speaker 3: our older sister were talking about the scores. I mentioned

841
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 3: it to the ex wife and she thought I wanted

842
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 3: to move the kids districts. I said multiple times, I'd

843
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 3: never move them from the opportunities they have here.

844
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, they seems like they got pretty awesome opportunity here.

845
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, they go into a STEM school. Her response was, well,

846
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 3: it's the parent's choice, so there is no discussion. You

847
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 3: won't be moving, bro one, I'm a grown adult. Your

848
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 3: agreement says one hundred miles so if we want to move,

849
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 3: we can't. Two. There are four grown adults here and

850
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 3: all of us can talk things out. If we did move,

851
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 3: it would be to the higher rated district. She doesn't

852
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 3: like that it wasn't her idea. She's twenty percent involved

853
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 3: in this parenting agreement.

854
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,800
Speaker 2: I know she feels threatened by this. She feels threatened

855
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 2: by you. She wants to have influence on her kids' lives,

856
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 2: but she can't hot take. I don't think that this woman,

857
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 2: the ex wife, is the villain. I think her perspective

858
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,240
Speaker 2: and everything is I had to move for a job,

859
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 2: I had a divorce. I want to keep up with

860
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,439
Speaker 2: my kids, but I can't. Ye now, the only way

861
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 2: for me to voice or have any influence is to

862
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 2: disagree with my ex husband's new girlfriend.

863
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 3: I think that's absolutely true.

864
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 2: Like she hasn't done anything super a holy Yeah, there's

865
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 2: some comments that she's gonna makee better, but this is

866
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 2: the only way she feels like she has control in

867
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 2: the situation. Yeah.

868
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 3: I feel like she sees herself being replaced. Yeah, and

869
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 3: sees op, you know, taking a really big role in

870
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 3: her kids' lives, and a role that she's not able

871
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 3: to fill.

872
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,800
Speaker 2: And she wants to fill it. She just can't. Honestly,

873
00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:01,479
Speaker 2: ex wife, you got to have it out with op conversation. Hey,

874
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 2: it's sam og Host.

875
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 3: We're gonnaet back to these delectable stories.

876
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to

877
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 2: help support the show.

878
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 3: She told my partner, I'm just playing mom and she's

879
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:11,479
Speaker 3: the mom.

880
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 2: Bro.

881
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 3: I buy your kids groceries, cook them dinner, switched my

882
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 3: whole schedule so that they could get to school, something

883
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 3: you wouldn't or couldn't do. And I go to all

884
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 3: of their events. I don't parent them in the sense

885
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 3: of punishment or telling them what to do at school

886
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 3: or doing their doctor's appointments, but me and partner do

887
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 3: discuss all of those things. He values my input and

888
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 3: then makes the final call. We are a well oiled

889
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 3: machine right here.

890
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 2: For example, if they had that conversation, Hey, I cook,

891
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 2: I pay for the groceries, the x Y could be

892
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 2: that's a good point. Maybe I should help out in

893
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 2: those ways. Maybe I should help up with groceries. I'm

894
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 2: want to be involved in my kids' line. Yeah, and

895
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 2: put an effort of that. Because this is the husband

896
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,959
Speaker 2: or the boyfriend he needs help around the house because

897
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 2: he can't do it all. Hope he's stepping into it.

898
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 2: You did x fIF have a conversation.

899
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, So finally I said I can't do this and

900
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 3: blocked her in my phone too. Anytime I suggest stuff

901
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 3: she fights it anyways, parties, vacations, sports, you name it,

902
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 3: and she has to argue. So I said I can't

903
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 3: keep giving her my piece. That means he is to

904
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,319
Speaker 3: go between us. So does that make me the A hole?

905
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 3: There are some comments and an update, but no, I

906
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 3: think that it is absolutely like in part you are

907
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,879
Speaker 3: involved in this conversation because you are, you know, one

908
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 3: of the guardians of these kids. Now, however, this is

909
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 3: his ex wife and he needs to handle that and

910
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 3: he shouldn't be putting you between I mean, not that

911
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 3: he is, but you shouldn't have to be bearing the

912
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 3: brunt of these arguments with his ex wife.

913
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 2: Oh. Absolutely, yeah, common one, not the A hole.

914
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 3: But I'm worried she will try to claim parental alienation

915
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 3: due to your behavior. I think their dad needs to

916
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 3: get a lawyer and consider going back to court to

917
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:55,400
Speaker 3: hash out a proper custody agreement. On paper, it's fifty

918
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 3: to fifty, but you say reality is more like eighty twenty.

919
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 3: Already tells me they should have the custody agreement a

920
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 3: long time ago. The ones who will long term suffer

921
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 3: are to those children. If there are major changes, then

922
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 3: the custody agreement needs to be amended. Every single time

923
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 3: Opie says she used that term, I googled it. I

924
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 3: haven't met any of the requirements. Though we don't bash

925
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 3: her to the kids. We inform her of everything, sent

926
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 3: picks of the school documents we were given. Comment two says,

927
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 3: it sounds like bio mom doesn't want to interrupt her

928
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 3: life or schedule for the kids, so she mostly dumps

929
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 3: them on their dad, but then still expects to have

930
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 3: full control of what happened with the kids even when

931
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 3: they aren't with her. You're kind of being forced to

932
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 3: step up faster than a stepparent normally would because their

933
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 3: dad needs help and biomm isn't willing to make sacrifices

934
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 3: for her kids so that she can be there and

935
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 3: help out. That's not your fault, but you need to

936
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 3: be careful here. You are in the worst possible position

937
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,479
Speaker 3: right now, no actual rights, but still given a bunch

938
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,959
Speaker 3: of responsibility. If anything goes wrong with the kids, you'll

939
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,399
Speaker 3: get blamed and everyone will call you the a hole

940
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 3: because they are aren't yours and what right you have,

941
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 3: et cetera, while totally ignoring that you are one of

942
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 3: the only people putting the kids first. I think the

943
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 3: move here is for you to step way back on

944
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 3: interacting with biomm I think the reason she wants you

945
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 3: so involved is she sees you as another person that

946
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 3: she can make take care of her kids for her

947
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 3: by ordering you around. Going forward, all communications should be

948
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 3: between her and their dad. You just keep doing all

949
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 3: the great things you do for the kids, but now

950
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,080
Speaker 3: it will be with their dad's permission, and bio mom

951
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 3: won't be your problem. He is an equal parent and

952
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 3: he is fully allowed to make parenting decisions without you

953
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 3: having to deal with the biomom directly. Comment three says

954
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 3: I don't agree with the first, saying you're overstepping. You're

955
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 3: doing what your boyfriend asks you. Don't try to punish

956
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 3: or anything. It sounds like if you have a discipline issue,

957
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 3: you refer to dad and Dad handles it. At the

958
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 3: meet the teacher, you said, bonus, mom, not your fault.

959
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 3: The teacher misspoke when mom came. You're not letting them

960
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 3: break your boundaries, and your boyfriend in certain situations will

961
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 3: have to be less laid back though. Reply. Maybe he's

962
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 3: asking too much about pe, but there is a little

963
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:05,760
Speaker 3: bit left to the story.

964
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 2: Only people that can intervene here, Yeah, or you and I,

965
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 2: And that's true. We sit down to dad, Yeah, sit down,

966
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 2: the ex wife? Yeah, suit down, OPI who would you call?

967
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 2: Like you have the buddy up with the one person?

968
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:17,919
Speaker 3: Who would?

969
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 4: I feel like it could Ghostbusters?

970
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 2: But okay, you get ex wife. Actually I want to

971
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:24,479
Speaker 2: talk to the X wife.

972
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 4: I don't want to talk to the ex wife.

973
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 2: I want to talk to the ex wife. Who do

974
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 2: you call?

975
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 4: I just want to talk to open talk to the

976
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 4: dad that oh, perfect, perfect, this is perfect.

977
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 2: So I feel like we all Number one, we all

978
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 2: have a one on one session write down everything.

979
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 3: Yeah.

980
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 2: Number two, we enact as their lawyers, so we speak

981
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 2: to one to know as mediators, not legally binding on

982
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 2: that too bad.

983
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 3: You are lawyer, Well we're not.

984
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 2: It's like a lawyer, but we're not lawyers. But we

985
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 2: all like media and we talk around it and we

986
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 2: like X wife would be like geez doing this and this, this,

987
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 2: and I'd be like, it feels like my client is

988
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 2: as if op you were taking her spot as a mom.

989
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 2: And then what about your client?

990
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 4: My client is just the chill guy, so she doesn't

991
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 4: deserve any of this.

992
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, perfect, and then we figure it out.

993
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 4: Your honor, she said, leave me alone.

994
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't understand. But I think at the end

995
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 3: of the day, I think those comments are right. Your

996
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 3: partner should be taking more of the kind of mediation

997
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 3: role between all of the speaking should be happening between

998
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 3: him and his ex wife and not really you know,

999
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 3: you should have to be put in the middle of it.

1000
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.

1001
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,879
Speaker 3: But there is an update, folks. Update. She messaged him

1002
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,879
Speaker 3: that she wanted to talk to me, that it had

1003
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 3: to be in person. She wanted to set the record

1004
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 3: straight so that I could see her point of view

1005
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 3: and believe her over my partner. We found out yesterday, oh,

1006
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 3: that she's been spreading lies per year that heesayed her.

1007
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 3: If y'all knew him, you would know that he could

1008
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 3: never she dies ever saying it. But it's a thing

1009
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 3: now I denied her access to me. She wants a

1010
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:05,880
Speaker 3: healthy co parenting relationship, but is saying this. When she persisted,

1011
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 3: I listed out five things in detail that she was

1012
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 3: doing to make this not a good situation for all

1013
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 3: of us. Her response was see me in person or

1014
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 3: I'm not talking. Nope, I like my text evidence and

1015
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 3: I'm not listening to her for an hour. I reblocked

1016
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 3: her after I sent it and told him it's them too.

1017
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 3: Now I'll support him and the kids, but see zero

1018
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 3: reasons to talk to her. And that is the end

1019
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 3: of that story. Folks, smart, yeah, I think you keep

1020
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 3: a text, keep your proof, yeah, and don't let her

1021
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 3: lie about things.

1022
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 2: Get receipts, yeah, get them receipts early.

1023
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story and the

1024
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,319
Speaker 3: end of this episode. So if you love us, make

1025
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 3: sure to subscribe.

1026
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.