Speaker 1: Holy Human with Leanne Rhymes is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. Hello my friends, I'm so happy you're here
Speaker 1: with me today. My guest today started up posting thought
Speaker 1: provoking quotes on social media, hoping it to inspire his friends.
Speaker 1: And today Maston Kip is a number one best selling
Speaker 1: author and speaker, and he's inspired millions of people and
Speaker 1: is harold as an up and coming thought leader of
Speaker 1: the next generation of spiritual thinkers. And he now joins
Speaker 1: me for this Holy Human. Yea happy okay mass, and
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on the Holy Human podcast.
Speaker 1: I've been following your work over Instagram is how I
Speaker 1: discovered you, Um, yes, several months ago, and I just
Speaker 1: found out that you were actually a manager in the
Speaker 1: music industry, which I had no idea about because I
Speaker 1: know you as a functional life coach. So how I'm
Speaker 1: always amazed and really, you know, blown away by someone
Speaker 1: who has such a radical shift in their journey like that. Um,
Speaker 1: can you share a little bit of your story and
Speaker 1: what caused you to start to look for greater purpose
Speaker 1: in your life? Absolutely? And before you just wanted to
Speaker 1: say thank you so much for having me and for
Speaker 1: reaching out. It's a really honored to be here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I moved to the to Los Angeles to had
Speaker 1: a very specific goal. I wanted to work at a
Speaker 1: company called The Firm, and then I wanted to be
Speaker 1: um Uh, which we can talk about I did. And
Speaker 1: then I wanted to run fred Durs's record label, Flawless
Speaker 1: Records a Gavin, which I ended up doing. I did
Speaker 1: both of those things. I had met fred Uh in
Speaker 1: like N six on the Warp tour in Lawrence, Kansas,
Speaker 1: many moons ago. I was a very young child at
Speaker 1: that time. I got a fourteen fifteen, sixteen years old,
Speaker 1: and he was friends with a buddy of mine who
Speaker 1: sold toys and would always bring fred Durst toys at
Speaker 1: different concerts, and we were always kind of backstage. And
Speaker 1: so my high school experience like backstage with corn and
Speaker 1: Limp Biscuit and no one would believe me again and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. And when I got to l A,
Speaker 1: I was very serious about it and I found it
Speaker 1: ended up working there, and you know, I mean, what's
Speaker 1: coming out now in terms of just the general vibe
Speaker 1: of the Hollywood right in terms of how traumatizing it
Speaker 1: is and the culture of it, how toxic it is
Speaker 1: I felt that when my first days on the job,
Speaker 1: I saw where my bosses come in literally a hammer
Speaker 1: and slam a BlackBerry in like a that's so long ago.
Speaker 1: It was a BlackBerry in a case because it wasn't working,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I guess this is normal.
Speaker 1: I'll do what I can um And eventually it was
Speaker 1: first one and the last one out. Cook did drugs
Speaker 1: all that stuff. But I was so in awe. Like
Speaker 1: we put together the MT the tribute for nine eleven,
Speaker 1: like we helped produce that, and I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, Like I was this is Kim Kansas. Now
Speaker 1: I'm helping with something like this, And as you know,
Speaker 1: it's just that the connection that's there is just so amazing.
Speaker 1: But then it's contrasted by all this toxicity on the
Speaker 1: back end. And at the end of the day, a
Speaker 1: long story short, I just kind of decided and this
Speaker 1: is not president, party, President, president, company excluded, but the
Speaker 1: artists that we were working with were so inconsistent that
Speaker 1: it was also scary to think about, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: like if they overdose or whatever, then my career is
Speaker 1: not gonna do some well. So it's just I was
Speaker 1: just so much toxicity that I decided, like I had
Speaker 1: to get out and I started loving personal development, not
Speaker 1: because I wanted to teach it, because I really needed it,
Speaker 1: you know, to like get clean, get sober. I wanted
Speaker 1: to feel as good off the drugs as I did
Speaker 1: on the drugs, because I felt good on them when
Speaker 1: I first started doing them. And I think I started
Speaker 1: doing this work because I started posting quotes on my
Speaker 1: Space that's a long talme, yeah, and people responded to it.
Speaker 1: And honestly, le and I came making and screaming into
Speaker 1: this career because in my head I wanted to be
Speaker 1: like who Scooter Braun is today or something like that.
Speaker 1: That's where I wanted to become. But nothing worked out
Speaker 1: when I did the music business for after a while,
Speaker 1: but I think this path opened up. And then when
Speaker 1: I started working with people, I was like, well, I'll
Speaker 1: help them. And you know, when you're a manager, you
Speaker 1: don't have like limiting beliefs come up about should we
Speaker 1: booked this tour right? Like it's just like we couldn't done,
Speaker 1: and we talked away Morris or whoever, and we make
Speaker 1: it happen. So when I was working with clients and
Speaker 1: they would say they're gonna do something, they didn't do something.
Speaker 1: It was very confusing for me, and eventually, after asking
Speaker 1: why enough, I realized that most people have been through
Speaker 1: very hurtful things that informed why they weren't doing things.
Speaker 1: And I explained a lot of artists that had worked
Speaker 1: with and I was like, Oh, there's this hateful thing
Speaker 1: that people are going through. And I was like, why
Speaker 1: is nobody talking about this? It seems kind of interesting,
Speaker 1: and they kind of evolved from there. That's very brief
Speaker 1: synopsis the process. This music industry is so fucked up.
Speaker 1: It really is. I've been in it since I was
Speaker 1: so we talk about trauma like I mean, I think
Speaker 1: I'm actually finally as a recent really being honest about
Speaker 1: some of the trauma that I've been through in the
Speaker 1: industry because I think to have I mean, I've been
Speaker 1: in it for twenty five years basically, and to to
Speaker 1: survive this industry, there's a certain amount of denial that
Speaker 1: comes with it, and I feel it so deeply in
Speaker 1: my body when I think about it, because I I
Speaker 1: know how much denial I've had to, how much I've
Speaker 1: had to deny my own reality in order to just
Speaker 1: survive it. And so it's it's fascinating. I think that's
Speaker 1: why I was so drawn to your work. I've done
Speaker 1: so much, I've done so many things in the last
Speaker 1: eight years of so many different modalities of healing and
Speaker 1: working on myself. And that's really how this whole podcast
Speaker 1: came about. Um that I but when it comes to
Speaker 1: trauma and specifically trauma informed, first off, I don't Sometimes
Speaker 1: I don't even know if people know what we're talking about,
Speaker 1: when when, and or if they're even if we even,
Speaker 1: like I said, are willing to admit you know that
Speaker 1: we have been through it, and you know you take
Speaker 1: what you call a trauma informed approach to healing. For
Speaker 1: someone who might not be familiar with your work, can
Speaker 1: you explain what that is? And yeah, yeah, And I
Speaker 1: feel like talking about trauma is like talking about cancer
Speaker 1: or something really scary, and so like, before I even
Speaker 1: define it, I just want to say that when you
Speaker 1: do your trauma work, like that's what helps you achieve
Speaker 1: the goals to you know, not stop and start and
Speaker 1: stop and start and procrastinate, but actually to finish things,
Speaker 1: to be happier, to whatever you're doing to change your life.
Speaker 1: Like it's like miracle growth for that modality right when
Speaker 1: you start to do the trauma work. So like there's
Speaker 1: a lot of benefit to doing the trauma work and
Speaker 1: the somatic work. And trauma is not like just the
Speaker 1: capital t trauma that we think of We think of
Speaker 1: abuse or neglect, or we think of you know, wartime
Speaker 1: trauma and stuff like that. Shock trauma thinks that result
Speaker 1: like really like egregious obvious physical injury, right, that's what
Speaker 1: we think of, like blunt force trauma and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: All those things are trauma. But what we're really focused
Speaker 1: on when we talk about like emotional trauma is the
Speaker 1: invisible trauma that doesn't bleed, right. It's it's a nero,
Speaker 1: it's a neurochemical imbalance. Their pathways in the body that
Speaker 1: don't link up when they should. Parts of our psyche
Speaker 1: gets fragmented that you don't see on X rays or
Speaker 1: m r I s or you know, a CT scans
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. Trauma informed means that you're aware
Speaker 1: of what trauma is, and that you're aware of the
Speaker 1: impact and the systems that produce the trauma, and then
Speaker 1: you do your best. This comes from sansa um. You
Speaker 1: do your best to you know, integrate those understandings into
Speaker 1: your company values, into how you do things, into your
Speaker 1: day to day life. It does not mean that you're
Speaker 1: qualified to work with someone who has trauma necessarily because
Speaker 1: trauma informed and trauma trained are very different. But basically
Speaker 1: just means you understand that, like, yeah, there's a unique
Speaker 1: type of trauma for I don't know, black people, and
Speaker 1: then there's even a different type of trauma for mixed
Speaker 1: race people. And there's a different type of trauma for
Speaker 1: you know, women, and there's a different type of trauma
Speaker 1: for the l g B t q A plus community,
Speaker 1: the BIPOP community me. And you're able to say, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's there, right, and like we're not doing that as
Speaker 1: a culture right now. We're still in sort of that
Speaker 1: trauma denial, but it's becoming more and more obvious. Um
Speaker 1: that obviously there's there's trauma there, um, but being being
Speaker 1: understand that that's what it is. And then let's define trauma.
Speaker 1: So you can get a million different definitions. Um. I
Speaker 1: think most of them are really bad, actually, especially the
Speaker 1: one from the d s M five, which is where
Speaker 1: all the diagnosis come from. So it talks about something
Speaker 1: so shocking and all this stuff, and that's not really
Speaker 1: what trauma is. It can be. But I define trauma
Speaker 1: as I call myself an n m D, which is
Speaker 1: not a medical doctor. Okay um, But I define trauma
Speaker 1: as any experience. It's kind of verbose, but it's any
Speaker 1: experience of threat, disconnection, isolation, or immobilization. So threat disconnection, isolation,
Speaker 1: or mobilation, immobilization that leads to the long term disregulation
Speaker 1: or non optimal functioning of or emotions your brain, your body,
Speaker 1: your health, or your spirit. They got it. So basically life,
Speaker 1: your life, and that that's the whole point, right is it?
Speaker 1: Like it's way more invasive than we realize, and it's
Speaker 1: way more impactful than we realize. And if you're not
Speaker 1: in a pretty much a joyful state, feeling you're living
Speaker 1: on purpose, then there's probably a trauma response there, probably,
Speaker 1: And we just have to have a more nuanced definition
Speaker 1: and conversation about what that trauma is and then how
Speaker 1: did you get it and where it comes from and
Speaker 1: how does that inform by what you're doing now makes
Speaker 1: complete sense based on your history, right, which can be
Speaker 1: As you talk about that, I'm like, oh, that's it
Speaker 1: can almost overtake me it can be incredibly overwhelming because
Speaker 1: when you start going on that rabbit hole, it's like, oh, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was traumatizing, and so is that, and then so
Speaker 1: is that, and you know, it can be very overwhelming
Speaker 1: to to even begin that conversation with ourselves. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and and that's why for us, like in our programs,
Speaker 1: like the first thing we teach people is we don't
Speaker 1: go to the trauma. The first thing we teach people
Speaker 1: is like how to regulate their nervous system and like
Speaker 1: basically to normalize emotion, because I think the biggest problem
Speaker 1: we have in the world today when it comes to
Speaker 1: mental health, personal growth, spiritual development is fear of emotion
Speaker 1: and that that the clinical term for that is affect,
Speaker 1: which is just emotion affect phobia. Right, So we have
Speaker 1: an emotional phobia. And what we want to do is
Speaker 1: we want to understand, like there's gonna be these different
Speaker 1: responses in your nervous system. Here's how they are, here's
Speaker 1: how to go there, but then here's how to go
Speaker 1: there and then come back. Because a lot of people
Speaker 1: feel like if they go to depression or they go
Speaker 1: to anxiety, if they go to panic attack or overwhelmed
Speaker 1: that they'll be stuck there forever. That was one of
Speaker 1: my biggest, biggest concerns when I started to touch upon
Speaker 1: all of my pain, was that, oh, if I go there,
Speaker 1: I won't come back. Yeah, it does feel that way.
Speaker 1: I mean the body you do have that experience. It
Speaker 1: can be so it can flood do you so deeply
Speaker 1: you're like, wait, I'm not coming back from this. That's right.
Speaker 1: And the reason why you feel that way is because
Speaker 1: the most likely there was a time in your history
Speaker 1: where probably when you were younger, that's how you did
Speaker 1: feel all the time, right, And so it's a very
Speaker 1: valid concern to have. But if you normalize emotion and
Speaker 1: you help people understand the map of their nervous system,
Speaker 1: and poly Bagel theory has helped us tremendously with that.
Speaker 1: To me, poly Bagel theory is to mental emotional health,
Speaker 1: what like the theory of relativity was the physics, Like
Speaker 1: it just changes the game completely. Can you tell us
Speaker 1: what that is? Exactly? Basically, it's the science of safety
Speaker 1: and connection. It's a neuroscience. And I don't want to
Speaker 1: get too too deep into it because I can go there.
Speaker 1: But basically, basically, in Ninete Langley wrote the book on
Speaker 1: the autonomic nervous System that was picked up where Darwin
Speaker 1: left off. Okay, so Babe Ruth won his first world series.
Speaker 1: Like it was a long time ago. We just wrapped
Speaker 1: up were one. You know, there's like it was, you know,
Speaker 1: do we just come out of the last pandemic? So
Speaker 1: there was it was a long time ago. The rain
Speaker 1: twenties were about to start, and so Langley wrote the
Speaker 1: book the Autogompic Nervous System, and he focused on pathways
Speaker 1: from the brain down to the body. The technical term
Speaker 1: for those are efferent pathways from the brain to body.
Speaker 1: He kind of saw afferent pathways body to rain, but
Speaker 1: you can't highlight them right. So basically because of that,
Speaker 1: that's kind of the seminal piece on nervous system that
Speaker 1: has like been this like kind of go to reference
Speaker 1: manual for everybody since, which is why across the board
Speaker 1: and spirituality, personal development, and mental health it's called mental
Speaker 1: health right, mental health right that those are all sort
Speaker 1: of Langley after effects from and basically what Langley said
Speaker 1: was is it's all about the brain and there's an
Speaker 1: on off switch between sympathetic and parasympathetic, which is the
Speaker 1: part of you that is calm is parasympathetic, and the
Speaker 1: part of you that is stressed is sympathetic UM. And
Speaker 1: that's basically that one can't be on when the other
Speaker 1: one is on UM. And poor just Dr Stephen Porsche's
Speaker 1: comes around goes, actually, let's look at these bodied brain pathways.
Speaker 1: And what he discovered is that there's not two parts
Speaker 1: of the nervous system like Langley proposed, actually three parts
Speaker 1: of the nervous system. And uh, basically you can think
Speaker 1: like a stoplight, red, yellow and green, right, UM, And
Speaker 1: it evolved as we evolved over the millions of years.
Speaker 1: So we have a reptilian part, we have UM, a
Speaker 1: very mamalion part, but then we have this very unique
Speaker 1: human part. And depending on how much challenge we have,
Speaker 1: we go to green, yellow, or red. So if we
Speaker 1: have too much challenge, right and we can't handle something,
Speaker 1: we go straight to red, which is like it's like
Speaker 1: a turtle with its shell and its head in its shell.
Speaker 1: That's called the dorsal Bagel system, where you kind of immobilized,
Speaker 1: you're you're you're mobilized, you can't move. If there's tough challenge,
Speaker 1: but manageable challenge, and we go to yellow or sympathetic,
Speaker 1: which is fight or flight, which we've heard of, right,
Speaker 1: And then when there's like a manageable amount of challenge,
Speaker 1: wearing green and green is called the ventral vagel system,
Speaker 1: which is basically like you really good heart rate veriability
Speaker 1: as you're feeling really calm, and really organize your executive
Speaker 1: function like the good neo cortex, Like the smart part
Speaker 1: of our brain is like in charge. We have good breathing,
Speaker 1: we have pro social behavior. And what's interesting is that
Speaker 1: the red and the green parts are parasympathetic, but they
Speaker 1: have different purposes. What we now know is that the
Speaker 1: green part helps us be pro social, to heal, to
Speaker 1: you know, being have transpersonal or spiritual experiences that feel good,
Speaker 1: feel on purpose, right, and the red part is more
Speaker 1: of a hiding or immobilization thing. And what poor just
Speaker 1: also helps usunderstand is that you can bring green to
Speaker 1: yellow and green to red so that it's not just
Speaker 1: on or off. You can have blended states as well, right,
Speaker 1: which is like the goal because you think about what's
Speaker 1: what is play? When you're playing, right, you have sympathetic,
Speaker 1: You're you're moving, You're kind of have that like adrenaline
Speaker 1: going right, but you feel safe, right, which is super
Speaker 1: than anxiety, which is just sympathetic without that green ventral part. Right.
Speaker 1: So it's it's it's it's it's anxiety without safety. And
Speaker 1: then I live there often. Oh yeah, we Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: very coming to me too, you know, just because I
Speaker 1: talked about does have master so interesting to play piece?
Speaker 1: Because yeah, I was just talking to my therapist the
Speaker 1: other day and we're actually talking about how much I
Speaker 1: don't I don't play enough. I don't think we all
Speaker 1: play enough. And I think, like you mentioned a really
Speaker 1: key pieces, you actually have to feel safe in order
Speaker 1: to be able to to connect with play. That's right. Yes,
Speaker 1: no one's like playing while they're like feeling dangerous. Right.
Speaker 1: If you think about like a roller coaster, that's about
Speaker 1: as close as you're gonna get, or skydiving, which I
Speaker 1: will never do unless I had to. I just can't
Speaker 1: a good plan for I just I just can't get there.
Speaker 1: I just can't get there. But but but the point
Speaker 1: is is that like that's the closest we can get
Speaker 1: to playing with danger, right, because there's that safety there.
Speaker 1: Um and then dorsal or red right red when you
Speaker 1: mix red and green together where you have safety with
Speaker 1: im mobilization. That's called spooning, hugging, meditation, sleeping, right, love,
Speaker 1: make or if you're a woman and you're pregnant, you
Speaker 1: have to be immobilized at periods of time because it's
Speaker 1: like it slows you down. Obviously you're making good life,
Speaker 1: um so. But when you have read by itself, that's
Speaker 1: when you get dissociations, to have siddle ideation, all that
Speaker 1: type of stuff. So the goal is to bring our
Speaker 1: green parts are ventral parts. Are you call it your
Speaker 1: higher self, your heart rate variability, your ventral vehicle system,
Speaker 1: your soul, whatever you wanna call it, to the other parts.
Speaker 1: And the problem is they don't know about each other.
Speaker 1: They feel like separate parts. And then within red, yellow
Speaker 1: and green, we have different parts of our personality that
Speaker 1: fracture off. So like everybody has multiple personalities, and the
Speaker 1: thing is they don't know about each other. Right, if
Speaker 1: you really want to go for a goal, but then
Speaker 1: you're doubting it, those are polarized parts of your personality,
Speaker 1: and so we want to really start to introduce them
Speaker 1: to each other. And that's what integration is all about,
Speaker 1: which is you don't really heal trauma. You integrate it um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't think I'm I think I'm babbling
Speaker 1: a little bit here. No you're not. Actually, this is
Speaker 1: probably one of the clearest explanations of the nervous system
Speaker 1: and the way I didn't. I guess I'm doing it
Speaker 1: without understanding of bringing the green to these different parts
Speaker 1: and like you said, introducing them. But no, that was honestly,
Speaker 1: that was so clear. That was like, no, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it seemed it was very approachable. Because it can be
Speaker 1: so complicated. It can't It can sound really complicated. So
Speaker 1: when someone uncomplicates it for you, you're like, yes, I can,
Speaker 1: I can digest that. That feels good. Good. I always
Speaker 1: worry about being too complex, So I'm happy to hear that,
Speaker 1: and you will be happy to know that. After a
Speaker 1: super quick break, we'll be back with bore masking kids.
Speaker 1: Welcome back, my friends. We were just discussing all the
Speaker 1: different ways our nervous system impacts so many areas of
Speaker 1: our bodies. You know, the body is so interesting because
Speaker 1: I know for my self, I've spent, like I said,
Speaker 1: a lot of time and denial, a lot of time
Speaker 1: ejecting from my body being in my head. But first off,
Speaker 1: why has it taken us so damn long to like
Speaker 1: awakened to the fact that the body is a part
Speaker 1: of this, Because, like I said, I've done so much
Speaker 1: work in the last eight years, and it's I'm just
Speaker 1: now starting to get that feeling thing that happens, like
Speaker 1: the sensations and you know, the somatic piece of it
Speaker 1: is so key and it's so uncomfortable. Oh, it's so
Speaker 1: I'm sure it can be. I'm sure can be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that's the part I'm gonna answer your question.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna say something first. That's why when people
Speaker 1: start doing trauma work, if they don't understand how their
Speaker 1: nervous system works, and they don't know they can go
Speaker 1: to red and come back or go to yellow and
Speaker 1: come back right, they get stuck there because that's that's
Speaker 1: the trauma response. And she's public about this so I
Speaker 1: can say this, which is a real honor. So recently
Speaker 1: I had the privilege of working with Jessica Man. She
Speaker 1: was on the stand for three days three days in
Speaker 1: the Harvey Weine scene trial and it's her testimony that
Speaker 1: is the reason why he's behind bars. And she she
Speaker 1: She is a force of light. She is a badass.
Speaker 1: She is such an incredible human being. Um. And what's
Speaker 1: amazing is that before working with me again she's been
Speaker 1: public about this, is that you know, she worked with
Speaker 1: a therapist and ended up not going so well and
Speaker 1: it wasn't it wasn't her fault. It was not her fault.
Speaker 1: The therapist had such a stigma around handling trauma that
Speaker 1: it was like so scary for the therapist, right, that
Speaker 1: disregulated the client, right, And so like for me, working
Speaker 1: with trauma and the regressing people is just like pouring water,
Speaker 1: Like I can do it, like really good at it,
Speaker 1: and we normalize it. And that's the point is that
Speaker 1: I think even the industries have this emotional phobia. I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh god, you're outside the window of tolerance. It's like
Speaker 1: like for me, like if if a client's like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I want to kill myself, right, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like, thank you, welcome to the party. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about why you would do that. Let's let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: Why would you do that? Why would that make sense? Right? Um?
Speaker 1: And it normalizes things. And actually when someone says something
Speaker 1: like that, most people freak out, which then pushes that
Speaker 1: part back into their psyche says you're not welcome here,
Speaker 1: when really, when someone says something like that, it's because
Speaker 1: they're looking for help, right, that's what they want, right,
Speaker 1: And so we just want to really normalize whatever the heck.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can say that, whatever the thing, yeah,
Speaker 1: whatever whatever the fox, something someone says, we want to
Speaker 1: normalize what they're saying. Remember one time when a client
Speaker 1: one of our retreats who was having a psychosis because
Speaker 1: we did a trauma regression and he thought he was
Speaker 1: Jesus for a moment and he came up to me.
Speaker 1: He goes, Maston, I am Jesus Christ, right, And most
Speaker 1: people might be like, this guy is freaking out. I
Speaker 1: just went like, oh my god, we have been waiting
Speaker 1: for you to return. How are you? Where have you
Speaker 1: been right? And he's like, no, no, Maston, it's me,
Speaker 1: it's me. And it broke the psychosis, right because I
Speaker 1: went right into agreement and we coundered down and took
Speaker 1: care of him and got medical treatment. He was fine, right,
Speaker 1: But like most people don't treat it that where they're
Speaker 1: just having a psychotic break. We need to, like you know,
Speaker 1: and yes, you have to take care of it. We
Speaker 1: have people in our our retreats that can take care
Speaker 1: of things like that happens very rarely. Even if it does,
Speaker 1: we're gonna handle because it's just an emotion. It's always
Speaker 1: it's just emotion, right, So I think the reason why
Speaker 1: it's taken so long it's actually interestingly in because if
Speaker 1: you look at evolution, right, evolution and how species of
Speaker 1: evolved human beings at least evolutionarily not necessary behavior, but
Speaker 1: certainly by anatomy, are the most advanced creatures on the planet.
Speaker 1: I think dolphins are probably the most advanced creatures on
Speaker 1: the planet, but we we have a really great, powerful anatomy.
Speaker 1: And if you look at like the lowest level reptile
Speaker 1: and fish and stuff like, all the way up to us. Now,
Speaker 1: an emotion has not only been preserved as uh species
Speaker 1: have gotten more complex, it's multiplied, meaning there are more
Speaker 1: receptors the higher up you get the evolutionary ladder for emotion.
Speaker 1: There's more opiate receptors, there's more dopamine receptors, there's more
Speaker 1: endocannabinitary receptors, right, which means nature thinks emotion is really valuable, right, um,
Speaker 1: Like there's something in that, right, So it's really interesting
Speaker 1: that like nature has basically said, guys, emotions really important,
Speaker 1: and then they cart comes around like I think therefore
Speaker 1: I am right. It's like, thanks man, I appreciate that, right, um.
Speaker 1: And And it's taken a long time for a lot
Speaker 1: of reasons, mostly because we've come out of survival mode
Speaker 1: as a human race. A lot of humans are still
Speaker 1: in survival mode, but we're getting better at it. And
Speaker 1: I look at what's happening today, both in the context
Speaker 1: of the social movements that are happening that need to happen,
Speaker 1: but also the personal awakenings that are happening. It's actually
Speaker 1: a privilege to have these happening right now because if
Speaker 1: you even think, like years ago, like we weren't in
Speaker 1: a place where these things could happen. There was no internet,
Speaker 1: there was not enough there wasn't enough abundance, there wasn't
Speaker 1: enough connection. And like basically what we're saying is these
Speaker 1: old traumatic patterns are no longer useful for revolution, right,
Speaker 1: the patterns of racism, misogyny, patriarchy, colonialism, um, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Speaker 1: Like these things are no longer necessary, but before they
Speaker 1: were the power structures that ran the world. So you're
Speaker 1: seeing what we're seeing an evolutionary leap um into but
Speaker 1: nature has already given us which is prioritizing emotion. But
Speaker 1: we haven't quite caught but that yet because of things
Speaker 1: like money, power and prestige and stuff like that. But
Speaker 1: it's we're breaking through. And this generation, the generation X
Speaker 1: and Z, they're gonna be amazing. I can't imagine what
Speaker 1: their kids are gonna be like in terms of this
Speaker 1: type of stuff. Right, Um, But it's taken so long.
Speaker 1: Because it's taken so long, I don't know how to
Speaker 1: say it. And also it's because we didn't know. Like
Speaker 1: all the research that everyone's quoting now is like new,
Speaker 1: it's brand new. It's like maximum years old. It takes
Speaker 1: twenty years for research to get into the mainstream. So
Speaker 1: that's all new, and the and the social milieu or
Speaker 1: environment is ready for it too. And so so the body,
Speaker 1: I mean, really here we are, like you said, talking
Speaker 1: about so much about the mind, but the body is
Speaker 1: where we have to ultimately begin. Is that what you
Speaker 1: would say, there's really no way to improve mental brain
Speaker 1: health without improving body health first, right, yeah, and that's
Speaker 1: also I mean, I guess if you it's also physical,
Speaker 1: and you know where we can start to see the
Speaker 1: most and feel the most improvement before we can't like
Speaker 1: just dive into our brains and be like oh yeah
Speaker 1: that that neuropathways all of a sudden linking, like we
Speaker 1: actually can start to see things in the physical realm. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and well, and I felt my clients that brain becomes body.
Speaker 1: It's all one thing. It's not like they're separate, right,
Speaker 1: it's one system. But but brain becomes body, and um,
Speaker 1: you know, I sometimes get pushed back for people who
Speaker 1: don't have the latest research, which is okay, um, but
Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean, like the simplest that, the simplest
Speaker 1: analogy is simple, simple, simple, right, is like try to
Speaker 1: have a positive thought when you're hungover. Mm hmm. It's
Speaker 1: not gonna happen, right, it's not gonna happen. Right. If
Speaker 1: I came in at like five o'clock in the morning,
Speaker 1: was all right, yeah, let's go, we're gonna go for
Speaker 1: hyro and for a walk. We're gonna make the day great.
Speaker 1: And like you're hungover or you did that to me,
Speaker 1: both of us are probably like fuck you, right, But
Speaker 1: if the night before you had a nice easy dinner
Speaker 1: with digestive enzymes and alkalinity, and you're hydrated, and you've
Speaker 1: got nice seven eight hours of sleep, and you went
Speaker 1: to bed early and you slept well in the right temperature,
Speaker 1: and then you probably up before five if that was
Speaker 1: the case, and you'd have a great mental state because
Speaker 1: your body is in a good state. Right. That's the
Speaker 1: simplest analogy I can I can bring to like why
Speaker 1: the body is so important, and trauma lives in our fascia,
Speaker 1: immune system, endocrine system, and nervous system. It lives everywhere, right,
Speaker 1: and the vegas nerve goes everywhere. Um, it literally goes
Speaker 1: pretty much the whole like torso up. And so sometimes
Speaker 1: when people have all these chronic health issues, they think
Speaker 1: they are these multisymptomatic issues, but just one symptom, which
Speaker 1: is like downregulated vegel tone that shows up in different
Speaker 1: parts of the body because the vegas nerve attaches everywhere.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you want to focus somatically in the body.
Speaker 1: And the world's best functional medicine doctors, you know, they're
Speaker 1: gonna do your lipid profile, They're gonna look at your inflammation,
Speaker 1: see reactive protein, they might get to e g. Your
Speaker 1: brain scan. Those are all great, but the most cutting
Speaker 1: edge functional functional medicine doctors know that with every chronic
Speaker 1: health issue that is a correlated, if not cause, chronic
Speaker 1: emotional issue as well. Um, and they're paired together. And
Speaker 1: what happens is it's not that like your emotions gave
Speaker 1: you cancer or whatever and demetriosis like whatever the thing is.
Speaker 1: But when you have a disregulated emotional body, your immune
Speaker 1: system gets disregulated, your endocrine nervous symsis regulated, and chronic
Speaker 1: illness will show up in areas where you are most susceptible.
Speaker 1: Got it, does that make sense? So it's not like
Speaker 1: it's your fault, but it's like the cancer will find
Speaker 1: the area where your immune system is the weakest. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna metaticize here, right, and there's like a reason
Speaker 1: why it's there. Right. So I'm not saying it's just
Speaker 1: about you do the emotional work and you cure cancer.
Speaker 1: But if you're not doing the emotional work on your
Speaker 1: cancer journey or any chronic health journey, it's not a
Speaker 1: complete it's not a complete treatment plan either. So it's
Speaker 1: it's very profound and the same thing is true for
Speaker 1: mental health disorders. Good down the list, right, that's so interesting. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: since we're talking about trauma, what are if people are
Speaker 1: out there going, oh, I don't think I have that
Speaker 1: much trauma in my life. You know, what are some
Speaker 1: of the symptoms that show up? I always This is
Speaker 1: a great question. Um, okay, So anxiety, depression, overthinking, procrastination,
Speaker 1: not being able to complete goals, relationship not going to
Speaker 1: like being like well maintained relationships, not knowing how to
Speaker 1: ask for help, um, always giving too much help, being
Speaker 1: a non reciprocal relationships where you're either giving or taking
Speaker 1: more than the other person. Um. That's just a few things.
Speaker 1: And obviously if you have a diagnosis and that there's
Speaker 1: like basically three or four diagnosis in the d s
Speaker 1: M that are meant that are medical. The rest are
Speaker 1: basically different ways. The nervous system gets disregulated because of
Speaker 1: emotional trauma. Um. And uh, if you have any diagnosis
Speaker 1: basically from the d s M, there's probably trauma there too. Um.
Speaker 1: So yeah, basically all that stuff, yea, all of it
Speaker 1: when it comes to generational trauma. Um, how does that
Speaker 1: work in our overall Trump trauma blueprint. Well, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: so the fancy term is called epigenetics, which is basically
Speaker 1: like how our genes turned on and off based on
Speaker 1: our environment. Right, And that makes sense because like we
Speaker 1: adapt to our environment to survive, right, And the thing
Speaker 1: about the genetics is that we know it's very clear.
Speaker 1: Like if you look at like there's some studies on
Speaker 1: Holocaust survivors, their studies on the Civil War, um, families
Speaker 1: that had like someone died, and there's so many different studies.
Speaker 1: I can send your links afterwards if you want, and
Speaker 1: like like things like methylation pathways change based on what
Speaker 1: trauma the family had beforehand. Right, So like how you methylate,
Speaker 1: which is like a very important process in the body
Speaker 1: that can really mess you up or really set you
Speaker 1: straight with all kinds of different things, um like gets
Speaker 1: turned on or offered or upregular, down regular based on
Speaker 1: your family's history. Right, And think about this, right, this
Speaker 1: is when I forget this out. It was like so trippy.
Speaker 1: So you your mother had you, but the egg was
Speaker 1: made in her mother. Yes, so I was actually carried yeah, right,
Speaker 1: so it's like whoa, that's like whatever, So that's mind blowing.
Speaker 1: There's all kinds of data to suggest that when a
Speaker 1: baby is in the womb. There's a whole field of
Speaker 1: psychology called Perry natal psychology, which is like basically in
Speaker 1: the womb, right, Perry natal psychology. And what it's amazing, right, Um,
Speaker 1: And what we know is that, you know, information is
Speaker 1: passed through the child, through the mother, through the blood
Speaker 1: and through the hormones of whatever she's experiencing the child's experiencing,
Speaker 1: which makes sense because it's preparing the child for the
Speaker 1: environment they're gonna be born into, right. Um. And so
Speaker 1: all these things leave imprints over time, and they become
Speaker 1: these patterns that just get passed down over time both um,
Speaker 1: both in the family system but also societally. Right, because
Speaker 1: generational trauma looks like racism too, Like why are we
Speaker 1: racist in America? We're racist because America was founded upon
Speaker 1: a principle that we cannot have economic prosperity without black
Speaker 1: people being one down to white people. That's why we're racist, right,
Speaker 1: And like we're messing with that, which needs to be
Speaker 1: messed with, that power dynamic right now. But that just
Speaker 1: gets passed down because it has so much momentum culturally.
Speaker 1: And then what happens is in America. It's so sad.
Speaker 1: Even more than your genetic code, your zip code determines
Speaker 1: your health outcomes. And there are studies have been released
Speaker 1: that show the people who only live a few miles apart,
Speaker 1: depending on the affluence in those communities, have like thirty
Speaker 1: forty year life expectancy differences based on zip code. Right,
Speaker 1: that's right, and that just becomes institutionalized, right, and then
Speaker 1: it becomes normalized, and then enough time passes and people
Speaker 1: think this is how it's always been. Yeah, that's my favorite. No,
Speaker 1: this is just how it is. You know. That's I
Speaker 1: know for my own self, I'll have trauma responses or
Speaker 1: you know, UM nervous system just regulation to things that
Speaker 1: I know I haven't had that experience, like, but though
Speaker 1: I know it's somewhere in my family and that you
Speaker 1: know that, I feel like I carry a lot of
Speaker 1: that UM and there has been I think that was
Speaker 1: a really big aha moment for me to go, oh,
Speaker 1: so I don't have it doesn't have to be my
Speaker 1: own personal experience to still have that. Oh yeah, where way,
Speaker 1: where did you learn that? Did you just figure that
Speaker 1: out or did you learn that somewhere? I just I
Speaker 1: think I kind of just been up. I mean, I've
Speaker 1: read a lot about it, but I before that I
Speaker 1: was open. I just kind of it was an aha
Speaker 1: moment of like, oh wait, I don't have to Yeah
Speaker 1: I don't. These aren't my experiences, but why am I?
Speaker 1: So why does this freak me out so much? Because
Speaker 1: I've never had this experience before. So yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I'm just super sensitive to ship So I yeah, I
Speaker 1: just you know, I've I've I've always been very open
Speaker 1: and aware two things. But and I think that can sometimes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very it's just very uncomfortable. Oh well, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: sure can be. And you know, well, what's interesting about
Speaker 1: that is there's a modality you probably know about it.
Speaker 1: If not, I'll be happy to tell you about it,
Speaker 1: but you probably know. It's called internal family systems. Dr
Speaker 1: Richard Schwartz created it, and like, I wish I want
Speaker 1: to be a Richard Swarts when I grow up. That
Speaker 1: dude is just like so awesome. He's so awesome. I
Speaker 1: don't know a lot about it, but I do know
Speaker 1: of it, and it is bad that guy, Like I
Speaker 1: want to I just I want to be like a
Speaker 1: version of him when I grow up because he's just
Speaker 1: he's just such a wise person. But anyway, it's a
Speaker 1: long story. I'm not gonna go into what what i
Speaker 1: f S is, but it basically helps you understand like
Speaker 1: the multiple parts of your of your of your personality
Speaker 1: and how they get in the way and how they collaborate,
Speaker 1: how they can start to work together or not. It's
Speaker 1: a very valuable modality. But the cool thing about Schwartz
Speaker 1: is that they do like studies and they document their
Speaker 1: clients because he knows I do all that stuff. And
Speaker 1: in i f S, like if you have a part
Speaker 1: come up, like if you have like anxiety come up
Speaker 1: or depression come up, you like literally can take your hand,
Speaker 1: like go there and like talk to it and you
Speaker 1: can say, like is this mine or someone else's right?
Speaker 1: And the part will tell you if it's yours or
Speaker 1: someone else's right. That sounds weird and woo woo, but
Speaker 1: it's actually based on a lot of efficacy and celinical
Speaker 1: data doesn't come to surface yet what you're talking about
Speaker 1: as a documented phenomenon in the clinical and settings. It's
Speaker 1: amazing which we go of course, we go straight to
Speaker 1: the mind or like, oh, I'm totally making this shut up.
Speaker 1: But you're not well you are you are you are,
Speaker 1: but but for a good reason, for a good reason,
Speaker 1: Like it's it's it's unconscious, Like what the what is
Speaker 1: creativity you're making? Shut up? That's what make shut up?
Speaker 1: What is channel you're making? Shut up? Well, this is
Speaker 1: the stuff that's coming up, that's in there, right, So yeah,
Speaker 1: make it up, but don't discount the fact that you
Speaker 1: made it up because it's there for a reason, right,
Speaker 1: Like that's about trusting your intuition, your body, your semantics.
Speaker 1: But I think what you mean is I'm just kind
Speaker 1: of inventing it. Like it it just kind of came
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, right, And like the body doesn't work right,
Speaker 1: the nervous system will always present something that's there for
Speaker 1: you to work through and it's valid. Um. And like
Speaker 1: for me, I don't think I've ever said this publicly.
Speaker 1: So this is the first time. Um, I ran into
Speaker 1: some major problems in twenty in my body that would
Speaker 1: have happened whether or not COVID happened. So lets speak
Speaker 1: clear about that. I couldn't walk for six months because
Speaker 1: my feet were so especially my left side, my left ankle.
Speaker 1: It was just so much pain. And I won't get
Speaker 1: into the story because the very long story. But bottom
Speaker 1: line is I was all this somatic work and I
Speaker 1: had this major fossil release and a flood of emotion
Speaker 1: came back, like thousands of memories. Literally, all these memories
Speaker 1: came back of abandonment, and um, it was really intense
Speaker 1: and it was all from the same pattern over and
Speaker 1: over and over again. Right, and then I held my foot.
Speaker 1: I talked to my foot, and I said, if I
Speaker 1: were you, I would not want to move forward either,
Speaker 1: if we're gonna be a banded like that. Right. What
Speaker 1: was interesting is like a month or two later, I
Speaker 1: was like deep into physics and deep into my family history.
Speaker 1: And my family history is I'm gonna do put so
Speaker 1: I'm going to the du Pont company. But they make
Speaker 1: like kevlar and nylon and all this type of stuff.
Speaker 1: I felt really called to connect with like other members
Speaker 1: of my family. And I found some family members online
Speaker 1: who are my age and one of them and because
Speaker 1: the think about to do Pont family, I've always noticed
Speaker 1: like we made gunpowder for the French Indian War, for
Speaker 1: the Civil War, thank mostly was for the North, thank God. Right,
Speaker 1: But what my family member told me was DuPont made?
Speaker 1: This is so heavy. DuPont made the plutonium used in
Speaker 1: Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Right, And I've always felt this like
Speaker 1: connection to the Manhattan Project and like not a good way,
Speaker 1: and like I felt like this my whole life, this
Speaker 1: like I'm making up for something. I felt this my
Speaker 1: whole life like. And then when I was like I
Speaker 1: put it all together, I go, oh my god. I
Speaker 1: talked to my foot again and I put the other
Speaker 1: like my foot didn't want one more DuPont fucking up
Speaker 1: the world literally like it was like it was like
Speaker 1: no more, no more. And here I am working, Like
Speaker 1: why is this white guy six five working on trauma?
Speaker 1: Like holy cow? Like I feel like I'm on the
Speaker 1: I'm on the oppressor side, right, And of course, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm happy World War two turned out the way that
Speaker 1: they did. But that's not the point. When millions of
Speaker 1: people died, you know, as a result of rect result
Speaker 1: of my family and our influences. Um. But when I
Speaker 1: made peace of that, all these things started to unfold
Speaker 1: in really beautiful ways. Right, that's not mine. I didn't
Speaker 1: I didn't make the nuclear bomb. I didn't make gunpowder.
Speaker 1: But that's so in my cells in my DNA, like
Speaker 1: my grandfather on my great grandfather on back then five
Speaker 1: back to the founder of DuPont. We're all scientist businessmen, right,
Speaker 1: which is really trippy to think about. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: it shows up on all sides, the oppressed and the oppressors,
Speaker 1: right because I feel like my family was a big
Speaker 1: part of the of the not so good side of
Speaker 1: the oppression of things, right right. Um, so yeah, it's there.
Speaker 1: And but once I, once I got in touch with
Speaker 1: that and cleared it was like really good. Um, and
Speaker 1: I work with it every day now. So yeah, generational
Speaker 1: trauma is no joke for sure, No, that is it's yeah.
Speaker 1: To me, that stuff is fascinating. And I love that
Speaker 1: you're talking about, um normalizing you know, everything, basically bringing
Speaker 1: things to the forefront. I was in a therapy session
Speaker 1: the other day and I was the hate came to
Speaker 1: the forefront, like really, and and it's you know, I
Speaker 1: grew up in as a Southern Baptist that was like
Speaker 1: you were a good girl, you know, like you you
Speaker 1: have to love everything, and I'm all about I'm all
Speaker 1: about the love. But hate is something that I especially
Speaker 1: when it comes to hating the love object, the parents,
Speaker 1: or whatever it may be that you know birthed us
Speaker 1: into this world. It's just something you don't touch. And
Speaker 1: for me, just being able to speak it, just being
Speaker 1: able to bring it to the forefront was so powerful
Speaker 1: to start allowing that to dissolve, like you're saying, like
Speaker 1: to finding those pieces that are that are so hidden
Speaker 1: in the back of our psyche, like because we are
Speaker 1: one way or the other, we're told that that was
Speaker 1: not appropriate, you know that that we don't touch those feelings. Um,
Speaker 1: I think it's so important and I'd like it. You know,
Speaker 1: you're just talking about this with your foot and I
Speaker 1: think for me, you know, having that experience the other
Speaker 1: day of just being able to to honor what their
Speaker 1: true feeling that was there, um, started to to open
Speaker 1: up things. And I think, you know, I think people
Speaker 1: uh either you're talking about you know, I'm really kind
Speaker 1: of normalizing our emotional landscape. I think that is so
Speaker 1: so important. It's important, and what you're describing, by the
Speaker 1: way is so profound. So what's starting to open up?
Speaker 1: And like what did you realize? Just so curious, I
Speaker 1: mean I know that you're asking the questions. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: please feel free. First off, it took me about ten
Speaker 1: minutes Steven go there, like to be able to say, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is truly hate recognizing also like, why what that
Speaker 1: is keeping me from because you know, for me, I
Speaker 1: think love in my past, very early on, was experienced
Speaker 1: as pain. Yeah yeah, and so yeah, so um that
Speaker 1: that other charge um has kept me from from that
Speaker 1: pain based kept me from loving because that's so painful,
Speaker 1: that's right. Why And you know I have a cross
Speaker 1: on my arm just so we're clear, it says be love,
Speaker 1: I won't. You can see it, okay, which to me
Speaker 1: is like the basic message of actual Christianity. Um. But
Speaker 1: what you're what you're describing is so so Christian. And
Speaker 1: what I mean by that is and I can sern
Speaker 1: myself a Christian mystic, so, which is super clear. But
Speaker 1: if you look at like especially the Old Testament messages
Speaker 1: like love me, fear me, and that's called an attachment theory,
Speaker 1: disorganized attachment where the source of my love is also
Speaker 1: the source of danger. That's a mixed message. How can
Speaker 1: I love and feel dangerous at the same time? Right?
Speaker 1: And Christianity is full of disorganized attachment, um, except except
Speaker 1: for Jesus. Right, when Jesus comes in and you actually
Speaker 1: read the red letters, the actual red letters right, not
Speaker 1: when Paul said later who never met Jesus, right, but
Speaker 1: like actual red letters right in the original airmake that
Speaker 1: they're written in right. The beatitude is in a surmount amount.
Speaker 1: If you get that, like, you're good. Like Jesus was
Speaker 1: an attachment expert. He talks about having heart love in
Speaker 1: your heart. That's called secure attachment. That's called a regulator
Speaker 1: nervous system. When Jesus says we're two or three are
Speaker 1: gathered there, I am in their myths. That's called corregulation,
Speaker 1: which Polybigo theory says is mandatory for our survival. Right,
Speaker 1: like all that ever said anything about gay, black, white knight.
Speaker 1: You never said nothing about none of that stuff. Right,
Speaker 1: And the problem is, I mean, got on how far
Speaker 1: down in the rabbit hole and I go. But if you,
Speaker 1: if you do the research. There's a book called the
Speaker 1: Gnostic Gospels by Harvard researcher Lane Pigles. What she uncovers
Speaker 1: is that Jesus intended to pass down the church to
Speaker 1: Mary Magdalen, and Peter got jealous and basically made that
Speaker 1: uh not happen, and right there with Peter is the
Speaker 1: beginning of the patriarchy of the church right there um.
Speaker 1: And the other problem with Christianity is that there was
Speaker 1: no plan for how to spread the Gospel, so all
Speaker 1: the disciples disagreed about how to do it from the beginning,
Speaker 1: which is why there's so many sects of Christianity right.
Speaker 1: So um, for me, when you talk about like you know,
Speaker 1: like love and hate and all those things going together,
Speaker 1: that's like, that's that's a very spot on sort of
Speaker 1: like fundamentalist christian which I grew up with as well.
Speaker 1: Bringing But when you really look at like the core
Speaker 1: message of Jesus, which is love, right and like let
Speaker 1: the first without sins basically cast a stone, right, Um,
Speaker 1: what you're saying, like, you have to be honest with yourself,
Speaker 1: and there's a reason why, and I would I would
Speaker 1: probably say the word hate, would probably you know, I
Speaker 1: would probably put language around that that might be like
Speaker 1: really really significant and justified anger. Justified anger. And the
Speaker 1: reason why people are angry is because there's a need
Speaker 1: that wasn't met and that was made invisible. And because
Speaker 1: that need was made invisible, you don't feel seen or
Speaker 1: heard but I have to love somebody like that doesn't
Speaker 1: That's not how this works, right, That's not how this works.
Speaker 1: That's that's a total um as, a total disordinized response.
Speaker 1: Come here, go away? Was dangerous is safe. And what
Speaker 1: you're coming into is like actual Christianity, which is called love.
Speaker 1: That's all it is. It's just love. It's very simple, right,
Speaker 1: It's actually all about love. Um, love your neighbor. But
Speaker 1: here's the problem with Christianity. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Speaker 1: If you don't love yourself, you're gonna suck at loving
Speaker 1: your neighbor. Right, Yeah, I mean I don't even know
Speaker 1: do we even know what love is if we don't
Speaker 1: love ourselves first? And which part of yourself? You have
Speaker 1: so many parts? Well, that's that's the thing. Let's you know,
Speaker 1: let's love the one who hates. Let's love the one
Speaker 1: who you know. But I always I get that as
Speaker 1: a concept, and I think that it is it is
Speaker 1: the ultimate concept of loving all of these parts of us.
Speaker 1: But like sometimes I wonder we go back down to
Speaker 1: the body. It's like what does that feel like? Like really,
Speaker 1: what does that feel like? And we're going to dive
Speaker 1: into that pretty deep question. Right after this a very
Speaker 1: quick break Hello Loves. We are with Mask and Kip
Speaker 1: and we're discussing what it means to truly love all
Speaker 1: the different complicated parts that make us our holy human selves.
Speaker 1: It feels like Catharsis where you just not cry sometimes.
Speaker 1: It feels like like sometimes you have body shakes and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. Looking back on things when I as
Speaker 1: a manager, like and now understanding, like I work with
Speaker 1: a lot of performers and stuff like that. You know,
Speaker 1: it's very interesting how performers work because it's almost that
Speaker 1: they have like this, like you know, multi like three
Speaker 1: or four or five different emotional states that become these
Speaker 1: personalities of their performance personality, right, and they say, okay,
Speaker 1: these three, four, five or six are okay, but these
Speaker 1: seventeen are not? Right? Yes, complete right? Um? And because
Speaker 1: that won't sell the tickets, That won't you know, go,
Speaker 1: that won't be the hit song, that won't whatever, you
Speaker 1: know the press. I mean, we would work the Dixie
Speaker 1: Chicks in two thousand four and they talked about George
Speaker 1: Bush and like what was on their heart and boom right,
Speaker 1: like oh my god, so like that part obviously wasn't
Speaker 1: welcome in the environment for their career right at that time,
Speaker 1: now that their trendsetters now. But like the whole point though,
Speaker 1: is that like performers get the message that like these
Speaker 1: specific parts of your personality are acceptable, and this stuff
Speaker 1: will like sunk everything up, not just for you, but
Speaker 1: for the team, for the management of the agency, for label,
Speaker 1: for the publisher, like all that type of stuff. Right,
Speaker 1: what happens is the core of magic experiences that you're
Speaker 1: not being seen, heard, or known for like all your parts,
Speaker 1: not just the parts that are shining or or cute
Speaker 1: or beautiful or whatever. And the core the goal is
Speaker 1: to get to know those parts and made them welcome
Speaker 1: with yourself. And when you talk about I mean performance,
Speaker 1: like we're all performing basically in some way. It's not
Speaker 1: just you know, mine is extremely magnified. And I think
Speaker 1: that's why I started this podcast, That's why I've I've
Speaker 1: started to use my voice in different ways because really,
Speaker 1: and by the way, like what happens to me before
Speaker 1: I come on a podcast is terrifying. I have terror,
Speaker 1: like yes, yeah, and I've never had stage fight, And
Speaker 1: since this pandemic, since being at home, I have started
Speaker 1: to have this experience when before I start singing. When
Speaker 1: I opened my mouth, it usually goes away. But like
Speaker 1: it's it's so interesting that the I think why it's
Speaker 1: happening for me on stage is because I'm becoming more human,
Speaker 1: Like I'm I'm inviting I'm inviting all of myself to
Speaker 1: the party, and honestly, it's so uncomfortable, like because you know,
Speaker 1: like you're saying, there's there's a there's the mask that
Speaker 1: we've you know, presented to the world. And the more
Speaker 1: we start to take that off, um, you know, it's
Speaker 1: it becomes very vulnerable to like I said, minds magnified.
Speaker 1: It's not just like I'm being vulnerable with um, you know,
Speaker 1: a few of my friends and my family. It's like
Speaker 1: I'm being more vulnerable with the world and therefore there
Speaker 1: you know, what can come back at me is uh
Speaker 1: is can be painful, big time time. And so I
Speaker 1: think when we talk about performance, it's not just you know,
Speaker 1: it's not just the it's not just performers like myself,
Speaker 1: it's everybody is performing at a certain level. Absolutely well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone learns very early on, like Okay, what parts of
Speaker 1: my personality are going to work here and what parts
Speaker 1: aren't right, um, and and and then the exile the
Speaker 1: parts that don't work, and part of trauma work is
Speaker 1: bringing those parts in the fold. And what's really interesting is,
Speaker 1: you know, I think personally the best art because there's
Speaker 1: like that emotional richness and vulnerability, and that's what the
Speaker 1: best art is is basically honest to therapy. That's basically
Speaker 1: what it is. Yes, And I don't know about you,
Speaker 1: but the people I worked with in the past, you know,
Speaker 1: usually the song that they really needed to write or
Speaker 1: to or to get on tape, I said, not tools whatever,
Speaker 1: it is the one of the most scared to do,
Speaker 1: oh for sure, for sure. Oh god, yeah. I mean
Speaker 1: I remember one of my first songs that I wrote,
Speaker 1: the song called Borrowed, which my husband and I were
Speaker 1: going through an affair publicly and the whole deal. And
Speaker 1: I remember like that was the first time I was
Speaker 1: just so honest. It was it was I remember people
Speaker 1: telling me that's the most polarizing song, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: how do you think it felt inside? But it was
Speaker 1: a where where I honestly I felt for the first
Speaker 1: time I was being truly honest as a performer. And
Speaker 1: I I think that since then, that's been my journey.
Speaker 1: And you know, you talk a lot about purpose, which
Speaker 1: I think is so interesting because I think I've stopped
Speaker 1: myself from living my own purpose for so long. Like
Speaker 1: even just with this podcast, it's like I would have
Speaker 1: never touched this, and it took me so long to
Speaker 1: do it because I was I was totally afraid of
Speaker 1: that vulnerability. Yeah, you know, for as much as I
Speaker 1: used my voice, it's this is a new way of
Speaker 1: using my voice. You know, I grew up. I was
Speaker 1: told not to have opinions, and it's like, no one
Speaker 1: will buy your record if they don't like your opinion.
Speaker 1: And it's like, this is breaking through some like serious
Speaker 1: trauma for myself. But I I, you know, when we
Speaker 1: are such a big deal and I just think it's
Speaker 1: so cool you're breaking through like this industry trauma, this
Speaker 1: family trauma, this like Patrichal trauma, and you're using your voice.
Speaker 1: That is awesome. And I just don't want I want
Speaker 1: you to. I don't want to rush by that because
Speaker 1: that's just such a big deal. You thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: It's so uncomfortable and every time I get step up here,
Speaker 1: you know, to do this, it's painful, but I also
Speaker 1: know like I forgot who it is basically saying like
Speaker 1: choose your hard you know, and it's like this is
Speaker 1: you have a choice ultimately at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: And like I would, the pain of not growing ultimately
Speaker 1: got to uncomfortable for me, Like it that would that
Speaker 1: hurt more than being uncomfortable and doing the thing that
Speaker 1: was uncomfortable, you know. But I'm growing in that process.
Speaker 1: So wait, so have you? I'm so curious have you
Speaker 1: taken this new found part of your voice and honesty?
Speaker 1: Like are you writing? Are you doing music from that
Speaker 1: place now like during quarantine stuff like that? And what's that? Like? Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a it's amazing and there's a real calling I
Speaker 1: think for me and very specifically what I put out
Speaker 1: into the world, like from a deeper loving place, a
Speaker 1: very conscious place of what I'm putting in the world
Speaker 1: and the music I was I'm in the studio right
Speaker 1: now actually recording a record, and so the music where
Speaker 1: it's coming from. I mean, I just sat back and
Speaker 1: listened to something the other day and I just started bawling.
Speaker 1: I got cry all the time because it just it's
Speaker 1: so purposeful, you know, And and what whether whoever, whoever's ears,
Speaker 1: it ends up in you know, great, but when you're
Speaker 1: when you're living from you know, that purpose, which I,
Speaker 1: by the way, have to remind myself of daily because
Speaker 1: of nervous system disregulation, and it's like all of a
Speaker 1: sudden you can freeze and be like, I can't do
Speaker 1: this anymore. Totally, yeah, totally that purpose piece, Like I
Speaker 1: think my interestingly enough, I you know, I was born
Speaker 1: with a gift. I always thought that my my voice
Speaker 1: was my purpose. And my husband and I were talking
Speaker 1: about this the other night and he's like, that's just
Speaker 1: a tool. I was like, that's so true. I confused
Speaker 1: for so long, I confused my tool with my purpose,
Speaker 1: and my purpose really started to blossom. I think in
Speaker 1: the last maybe two or three years was I able
Speaker 1: to finally start to go, oh, I I can I
Speaker 1: feel comfortable ish enough to start scaring the ship out
Speaker 1: of myself. Basically, so good, Basically that is amazing, you know,
Speaker 1: it's so incredible. I just I love I just love
Speaker 1: what you're saying, because you know, I guess, as you know,
Speaker 1: when I was doing a lot of management and then
Speaker 1: now I work with like you know, I work with
Speaker 1: a long a wide variety of people. But when I
Speaker 1: work with people who are very successful externally, um, there's
Speaker 1: there's not always, but a lot of times there's a
Speaker 1: lot of disregulation. And I always find so fascinating for
Speaker 1: you know, people who are listening to this, they're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Leanne Rhymes, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Like you're living your purpose just now, like what we're
Speaker 1: doing before. I can't imagine what's next. But I just
Speaker 1: love that that's because it's for you, is what sounds like.
Speaker 1: It's really about you and what you want. It's not
Speaker 1: about the external pressures and the external expectations, which there
Speaker 1: are so many of when you're an artist, and especially
Speaker 1: that I think the worst thing sometimes that can happen
Speaker 1: to ours they become successful, because has then it's like funk,
Speaker 1: Now I had to recreate that, I do what I
Speaker 1: did again again. There's like all the stress and pressure
Speaker 1: and sales and all type of stuff. Um, and it's amazing.
Speaker 1: But I think the best artists are the ones who
Speaker 1: are willing to fail and who reinvent themselves all the time.
Speaker 1: But I come to the honesty, and it's so hard
Speaker 1: to get there, So I'm just kind of blown away.
Speaker 1: You only really felt personal last couple of years. I
Speaker 1: just I mean, I'm just kind of mind blown by that.
Speaker 1: But it also needs a lot of sense. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'm excited to hear like what's next in terms of
Speaker 1: what you've what comes from this place too. It's going
Speaker 1: to be so I'm so curious now. Thank you. Well,
Speaker 1: it's so interesting. I've relate to you so much because
Speaker 1: you know, like you said, you went from the industry
Speaker 1: into being a functional coach. I so appreciate growth, and
Speaker 1: I know where I've come out of. I know where
Speaker 1: I'm at, and I know I have so much more
Speaker 1: that I'd like to to grow into. But I know
Speaker 1: where I've come out of, and I find that this
Speaker 1: work is so important and not just not just for
Speaker 1: someone like me, but for everybody like who wants to
Speaker 1: who wants to no joy in their life. That's right.
Speaker 1: I find your work really really helpful. So thank you.
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing your wisdom here. Of course, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, i feel like I've met like a long
Speaker 1: lost friend. I know, I love it. Since you were
Speaker 1: in the music industry, we do have to know. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you have some great music that you're into, so
Speaker 1: my holy five, What are your top five songs? And why? Well,
Speaker 1: these are my top five songs right now because trying
Speaker 1: to do when when I was asked my top five
Speaker 1: songs of all time, I was like, that's impossible. I
Speaker 1: just can't do that to the other songs. I just
Speaker 1: I just it's so impossible, you know. But so these
Speaker 1: are my top five songs right now. Okay, So a
Speaker 1: friend of mine just told shared this song with me
Speaker 1: a couple days ago, and it's by Andy Grammer called
Speaker 1: wish You pain Um, and it's an amazing song about
Speaker 1: At first you listened to it and it sounds like
Speaker 1: why do you want me to have pain? But it's
Speaker 1: actually like about breaking through all the pain and the
Speaker 1: way that he's core, you know, the way he sort
Speaker 1: of orchestrates it, and the tone and the key that
Speaker 1: it's in, all the type of stuff and I love
Speaker 1: this song. It's about growing through the hard stuff, which
Speaker 1: is really cool that suit string. But wish you, wish
Speaker 1: you it's hard saying wish you. So Kesha made the
Speaker 1: list twice. Actually, she's a new song called Chasing Thunder
Speaker 1: out right now. I think it's just such a fun
Speaker 1: kind of like spring Summer song that I'm loving right now, Slacked, Bonder,
Speaker 1: Got the Gips, Blood always just in, Thunder, always say Dun,
Speaker 1: always say somethun always says dune, always say some due,
Speaker 1: always say something. Love it. And then if you haven't
Speaker 1: seen it, her song Shadow, Okay, cool, but did you
Speaker 1: see the Ted Talk version of it? Are the ones
Speaker 1: probably never gotten off? So good to Shine out of
Speaker 1: my side, out of my boots, guys, out of my good,
Speaker 1: so good, to your darkness, out of my dead. But
Speaker 1: then Shadow, it's kind of like her like triumphant, like
Speaker 1: almost like dust off your shoulder, like I'm done with
Speaker 1: this ship, like I'm gonna live in my truth, and
Speaker 1: I just want I just love that song, Okay. And
Speaker 1: then um, oh, yeah, so there's another. There's a group
Speaker 1: of artists called Beautiful Chorus. I'm not sure. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I love Beautiful Chorus, And I've actually been listening to
Speaker 1: their song breathing In, which is actually a very short song.
Speaker 1: You know it creat it great? Yeah, yeah, you sound
Speaker 1: sound great singing. And then um, there's another song and
Speaker 1: I think it's I don't know if it's a new
Speaker 1: song or it's a remix of an old song. But
Speaker 1: my friend's Tevi Oky just dropped a song um with
Speaker 1: Kiara and Rob com Is called used to Be and
Speaker 1: it got me in all the fields. Don't care, You're
Speaker 1: gonna now they got me in all the field. Government's
Speaker 1: about trying to see that your real self. Um, but
Speaker 1: you're kind of hidden in this kind of darkness. It's
Speaker 1: just it's just such a good song. I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that some of these songs. I love the
Speaker 1: artists I find that we are Sometimes once something gets
Speaker 1: put into the creative world, I feel like we all
Speaker 1: kind of like get fed from it in a way,
Speaker 1: like all of a sudden you'll start sing people right,
Speaker 1: some learns things and you're like, oh, we're all feeding
Speaker 1: off of this kind of conscious consciousness at this moment
Speaker 1: in time and creating it, you know. So yeah, that's
Speaker 1: so fascinating. Love it. Yeah. And then my next favorite
Speaker 1: song is whatever you released next, because I can't wait
Speaker 1: to listen to it. Seriously, I can't. I'm so curious
Speaker 1: now excited about it. Thank you you go check out I.
Speaker 1: I've released a song not long ago called throw My
Speaker 1: Arms around the World, UM, which is the first kind
Speaker 1: of song off the new record yeah, I can check
Speaker 1: that out. Exciting. Well, that is so so exciting to hear.
Speaker 1: And that's awesome, And thank you for having me. This
Speaker 1: has been such a joy. Thank you so much. It's
Speaker 1: so nice to meet you. Thank you so much. Hi,
Speaker 1: And that wraps up this episode of Holy Human. Thank
Speaker 1: you all so much for spending your time with me
Speaker 1: as always, and I want to hear from you too,
Speaker 1: so feel free to share your comments and your thoughts
Speaker 1: with me in the comments section wherever you're listening. And
Speaker 1: if you think this episode might help someone else that
Speaker 1: you know, please pass it along. I'll see you next time.
Speaker 1: On the next episode of Holy Human, you'll meet the
Speaker 1: incredibly inspirational force of nature known as Jeffrey Marsh. They'll
Speaker 1: join me to share their unique yet universal perspective on gender,
Speaker 1: unconditional love, acceptance, and so much more. And you, guys,
Speaker 1: I cannot tell you how much I love them. They
Speaker 1: are insanely incredible. I can't wait to share this episode
Speaker 1: with you. Holy Human with Me Leanne Rhymes is a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. You'll find Holy Human with
Speaker 1: Leanne Rhymes on the I Heart app Apple podcast or
Speaker 1: wherever you get the podcast that matter Most to you,