WEBVTT - Do This, Not That!

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to I Do Part two.

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<v Speaker 2>It's Kelly ben Simone, one of your celebrity mentors here

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<v Speaker 2>on the pod. On the podcast, I've been having a

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<v Speaker 2>blast getting to know my fellow mentors and getting to

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<v Speaker 2>know everyone's personal journeys to finding love. Today, I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to bring in one half of our favorite deo on

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<v Speaker 2>this show, Louise from Thelma Louise, to talk about dating

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<v Speaker 2>in the new year.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi Louise, Hi Kelly, thanks for having me.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I'm so excited to talk to you.

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<v Speaker 2>How's everything.

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<v Speaker 3>Everything is good? I mean, it's the new year, so

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<v Speaker 3>just waiting for all those you know, uniforms and rainbows

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<v Speaker 3>to drop out of the sky. Right, it's a fresh late.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's get into it. So we're going to talk

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<v Speaker 2>about our love journey. We both have really interesting love durings. Actually,

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<v Speaker 2>let's start with yours. Tell me a little bit about

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<v Speaker 2>who you are and how you fell in and out

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<v Speaker 2>of love.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure, I am. I live in Los Angeles and I

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<v Speaker 3>was hit by a lightning bolt. When I met my husband,

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<v Speaker 3>I knew I was going to marry him. I called

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<v Speaker 3>my mom up and I said I met my husband,

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<v Speaker 3>and she goes you're crazy to go to sleep, You've

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<v Speaker 3>had too much to drink. That was the height of

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<v Speaker 3>sex in the city. So I had those you know whatever,

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<v Speaker 3>apple martinis. But I will tell you every time I've

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<v Speaker 3>ended up dating somebody long term, there's always been some

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<v Speaker 3>sort of a weird twist. So now I know, if

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<v Speaker 3>I meet somebody and there's no like twist or weirdness

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<v Speaker 3>or something, it's not my guy. We're married to fourteen years.

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<v Speaker 3>He has a fabulous moral compass. I think ultimately we

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<v Speaker 3>were probably better office friends because we're both killers quite frankly,

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<v Speaker 3>dad fabulous co parent, and we do a lot together

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<v Speaker 3>as a family, and I get the best parts of

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<v Speaker 3>him and none of the bad parts. So it's like

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like I'm winning.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you guys travel together? Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>And with his fiance, I mean we travel. Yes, it's

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<v Speaker 3>like you're away with that. Yes, it's the greatest situation

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<v Speaker 3>in the world. He's with all the kids and she

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<v Speaker 3>and I are having cocktails, laughing all day long. We

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<v Speaker 3>do holidays like it's amazing. Seriously, my youngest kids. When

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<v Speaker 3>my youngest kid left for college, he said to me, Mom,

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<v Speaker 3>I just want to tell you something I like. I

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<v Speaker 3>don't have any baggage, emotional baggage. I go white. Is

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<v Speaker 3>you guys did divorce? Amazing?

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<v Speaker 1>I love that? Oh, I love that? What about you? So?

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<v Speaker 2>I was married very young to a photographer and I

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<v Speaker 2>have two gorgeous girls. We got divorced when my girls

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<v Speaker 2>were young. I just he wasn't the right for the

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<v Speaker 2>right job, and I just was having like so much anxiety.

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<v Speaker 2>After I had both of my kids, I had really

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<v Speaker 2>bad postpartum with my first daughter, and I just genuinely

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<v Speaker 2>realized that, you know, he was fun. You know, as

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<v Speaker 2>a artist and creative, he's incredible, but as a nurturer

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<v Speaker 2>and provider and partner.

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<v Speaker 1>He wasn't.

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<v Speaker 2>And I just was having so much anxiety. And I

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<v Speaker 2>just got pregnant again. And then the minute I got

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<v Speaker 2>pregnant again, I was like, we're done. I just couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>do it. I just couldn't handle it. And my interestingly enough,

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<v Speaker 2>my post pardon was really bad with my first but

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<v Speaker 2>then for my second, I had no part partum and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, Okay, the baby's out. I had these

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<v Speaker 2>two good, beautiful, gourg girls. It's time for me to

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<v Speaker 2>go into my new life. I don't know how this

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<v Speaker 2>is gonna work, but I'm gonna try.

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<v Speaker 3>Didn't you kind of look at it like you're unknown

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<v Speaker 3>was going to be better than your known?

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<v Speaker 2>That's really well said. I had so much fear, and

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<v Speaker 2>I think that you know, I had great parents, and

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<v Speaker 2>they were so super supportive of me being happy, but

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<v Speaker 2>very very concerned about being me, being single and providing

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<v Speaker 2>for two kids.

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<v Speaker 1>And I just felt like.

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<v Speaker 2>The unknown was just fueled and filled with possibility, and

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<v Speaker 2>the past was just something that I didn't even want

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<v Speaker 2>to remember, not in it. Not that he's a bad person,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's just like, that's just not what I want.

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to I just wanted a family for my family.

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<v Speaker 2>That's all what I've always said for a thousand years.

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<v Speaker 2>Just all I want is a family for my family.

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<v Speaker 3>And do you feel like when you're looking to date,

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<v Speaker 3>are you looking to create like a Brady Bunch situation,

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<v Speaker 3>to recreate the family that a thousand and it blew?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thousand percent.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I'm always looking at so people would be like,

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<v Speaker 2>why you did someone that doesn't have kids, I'm like, why,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I wouldn't want to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't mind, I wouldn't mind, but.

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<v Speaker 2>It would be difficult to date someone that doesn't have

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<v Speaker 2>children because they I wouldn't be able to talk to

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<v Speaker 2>them about things that have to.

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<v Speaker 1>Do with raising children.

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<v Speaker 2>They'd be like what they would be like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and it wouldn't be It would be a disservice to them,

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<v Speaker 2>be a disservice to them.

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<v Speaker 1>Because they weren't a part of that. So those memories

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<v Speaker 1>they weren't a part of.

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<v Speaker 3>I also think it's a different life experience because a

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<v Speaker 3>few people I've dated that didn't have children, because I've

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<v Speaker 3>kind of arrived at the same place as you, I

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<v Speaker 3>just think they're I don't want to say the word selfish,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's like you're not. It's not selfless, right like

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<v Speaker 3>when you're a parent, what you know, everything goes to

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<v Speaker 3>them first, like I'm last, Like I would give them

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<v Speaker 3>my last dollar to eat. And I think for me,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, I had a significant relationship with somebody who

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<v Speaker 3>had quite frankly, never been married, never had kids, and

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<v Speaker 3>it was just we just kind of spoke a different

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<v Speaker 3>a different language. I think I have the opposite, like

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<v Speaker 3>you're looking to create great bunch. I have a hard

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<v Speaker 3>time merging like the people I've dated that have kids.

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<v Speaker 3>I have a hard time merging my children with other

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<v Speaker 3>kids and creating that like the idea of going on

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<v Speaker 3>a trip all of us or like it's few and

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<v Speaker 3>far between, Like I'm way more coupled keeping it separate.

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<v Speaker 2>Isn't that because you have such like a good thing

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<v Speaker 2>going that your family, You're like you have like an

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<v Speaker 2>extended family, now, do you know what I mean? Like,

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<v Speaker 2>because it's so comfortable, do you feel like that you

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<v Speaker 2>would be like, wait, it's not going to be as good.

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<v Speaker 3>As this, No, because I think that's only only in

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<v Speaker 3>the last few years. I think it was more when

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<v Speaker 3>I got divorce. My kids were young, and you know,

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<v Speaker 3>when I had them, I was like all in on them.

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<v Speaker 3>And then I looked at it like I had some

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<v Speaker 3>key percent of the time to just do me and

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<v Speaker 3>do that that I got so compartmentalized that it was

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<v Speaker 3>like two It was like almost like a jecko on

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<v Speaker 3>a high right, like I just couldn't never And then,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, only one time in the last few years

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<v Speaker 3>did I even do a couple of those meals with

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<v Speaker 3>somebody I dated for close to two years, but I

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<v Speaker 3>just wasn't it wasn't comfortable for me. Now it could

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<v Speaker 3>have been a function. In my heart, I knew it

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<v Speaker 3>wasn't the right relationships. I wasn't going to poison the

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<v Speaker 3>well with my kids and you know, for lack of

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<v Speaker 3>a better word, blow my wad with them and say

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<v Speaker 3>this was the situation. I think what I've learned now

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<v Speaker 3>after that, have now since learned that they didn't like him,

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<v Speaker 3>that unless I think I'm going to marry this person

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<v Speaker 3>and go to the distance, like, I don't really want

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<v Speaker 3>to force that on them. I guess I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>So right, your kids are older, so are my kids,

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<v Speaker 2>so like what do you how do you feel about so?

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<v Speaker 2>For me, like I was a full time single parent,

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<v Speaker 2>there was no fifty to fifty. There were no Wednesdays,

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<v Speaker 2>there were no over the every other weekends, there was

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<v Speaker 2>no there was no like time for me to create

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<v Speaker 2>a life. It was just with my kids twenty four

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<v Speaker 2>to seven. And I would never train to that. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>so grateful for that.

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<v Speaker 3>But they also know they can rely on you.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean you're their foundation, right right, Yes, thank you

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<v Speaker 2>for that and I appreciate that. You know, it was

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<v Speaker 2>very stressful to raise two girls alone and I was

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<v Speaker 2>around a lot of people, and so I never if

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<v Speaker 2>there was someone that I that I liked, I would

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<v Speaker 2>never I wouldn't think, Like I was having a super

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<v Speaker 2>Bowl party, like I would my kids be there, I

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<v Speaker 2>would invite them.

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't think twice because I.

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<v Speaker 2>Kind of wanted to see how that person navigated my

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<v Speaker 2>friends and everything. My kids weren't like, oh, I was

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<v Speaker 2>the same boyfriend, Like, they never even knew if I

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<v Speaker 2>had if I was dating.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone or not.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because I was around so many people all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I think I was nervous. I was scared of their reaction.

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<v Speaker 3>I was scared that they the first that the person

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<v Speaker 3>I would finally introduce them to, they wouldn't like when

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<v Speaker 3>I think, what I've realized is they just want me

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<v Speaker 3>to be happy. They want the person to be a

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<v Speaker 3>nice person, treat me well, be respectful, you know, keep

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<v Speaker 3>me safe. But I didn't know. I didn't know that then, right,

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<v Speaker 3>So I just kind of shouldered it all on my

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<v Speaker 3>own and all that. But it's hard. I mean every day,

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<v Speaker 3>I mean they're home, they're going back to school next week,

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<v Speaker 3>and they're like, Mom, are you dating on anyone? What's

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<v Speaker 3>going on?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>And then this was the big one they came at

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<v Speaker 3>me with today Mom. According to all the articles, today

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<v Speaker 3>is the super Bowl for dating apps. This is the

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<v Speaker 3>biggest day of the year that people sign up for

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<v Speaker 3>dating apps. It's their New Year's resolution. What's the plan?

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<v Speaker 3>Should we work on your profile? And I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>it was horrified. I'm terrified to do a dating app.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't do that. Do you do dating apps? Have

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<v Speaker 3>you done dating apps?

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<v Speaker 1>Have? I was on ria from the very beginning.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I've been single for a long time and

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<v Speaker 2>so I was on riah and I never really met

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<v Speaker 2>anyone that I was like amazing. But my ex fiance

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<v Speaker 2>I met him because my assistant created an account for

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<v Speaker 2>me and that's how I met him.

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<v Speaker 3>So Thelma to my Louise, yeah, I I am her

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<v Speaker 3>Sarah O de Bergerac and I have been I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>you need to do this, and she went and so

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, I'm doing it for you. So I

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<v Speaker 3>have done some of her online dating, just for like

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<v Speaker 3>the last two months. We put it on pause because

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<v Speaker 3>it was just but the minute I give her phone

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<v Speaker 3>number out, I call her up and be like, yo,

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<v Speaker 3>you're going to be getting a call from the skylight.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm out now. Take take it over. Let us know

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<v Speaker 3>how we do on our date. So it's been actually

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<v Speaker 3>a fun it's been a fun adventure. But I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>My kids are pretty invested in it. Now are yours?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you dating anyone right now?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>You have? I heard your podcast tennis guy? Yes, how's

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<v Speaker 3>that going?

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<v Speaker 2>So we're twenty twenty five, Louise, and there's there's so

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<v Speaker 2>much Okay, so we're talking about dating apps. Today's a

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<v Speaker 2>super bowl of dating apps?

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<v Speaker 1>Wild But what do I want to know? What you want?

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<v Speaker 1>What you're leaving behind? And then I'll then I'll tell you.

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<v Speaker 3>God, when am I leaving behind so much? I think

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<v Speaker 3>I think I need to leave behind. And I think

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<v Speaker 3>I need to be I don't know, like, I think

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<v Speaker 3>I need to be a little bit easier on myself.

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<v Speaker 3>I think I need to toe the line better between

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<v Speaker 3>looking for the butterfly, which is probably just the mirror

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<v Speaker 3>of a childhood wound, and really focus on a really good,

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<v Speaker 3>thoughtful human being, companion, nice person, because I think our

0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:24.720
<v Speaker 3>needs are different in our fifties as than when we

0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:30.760
<v Speaker 3>were twenties, thirties, forties, and I really need to do that.

0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:32.880
<v Speaker 3>I think I need to look I need to stay

0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:34.640
<v Speaker 3>more even across the board. I need to find a

0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:36.800
<v Speaker 3>little more gray, less black and white. And I think

0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:40.000
<v Speaker 3>that that is a theme that just carries over in

0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:41.840
<v Speaker 3>all kinds of areas of my life.

0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:53.920
<v Speaker 2>It's interesting because I think a lot of people are

0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:57.360
<v Speaker 2>talking about this gray area, and for me, I feel

0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:02.800
<v Speaker 2>like I have been so black and white with like

0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:06.640
<v Speaker 2>work and laser focused and you know what I want,

0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:08.160
<v Speaker 2>what I'm going to do and how I'm going to

0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:09.720
<v Speaker 2>do it, and how I'm going to make money and

0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:13.360
<v Speaker 2>doing this and doing that. And one of my other

0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:16.120
<v Speaker 2>co hosts who I love, Cheryl, like we always talk

0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.760
<v Speaker 2>about like how busy we are and how great we

0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.400
<v Speaker 2>are being busy, because like being busy is just kind

0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 2>of like taking away like the hurt, feel the feelings,

0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:30.960
<v Speaker 2>the feelings of like what we're how we are feeling,

0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:32.960
<v Speaker 2>not just how we're feeling about other things, but how

0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:35.720
<v Speaker 2>we are internalizing everything.

0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:39.920
<v Speaker 1>And so I really just want to like be.

0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:45.920
<v Speaker 2>More confident and working with Amy and Heather and Cheryl

0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:51.079
<v Speaker 2>and you know, Janna and everybody I've been so I

0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.880
<v Speaker 2>have switched. I have become literally and I know this

0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:58.920
<v Speaker 2>is strange, I have literally become a different person tell me,

0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:04.520
<v Speaker 2>I just am so different. I'm just so more relaxed.

0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:09.040
<v Speaker 2>I listen to people a lot more. I'm not like

0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:12.360
<v Speaker 2>so eager to get my point across. I kind of

0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.600
<v Speaker 2>want to hear what they're doing and you know, what

0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.040
<v Speaker 2>tools they have in their tool belt, versus like hearing

0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:21.080
<v Speaker 2>about mine all the time. I think that just too

0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:25.240
<v Speaker 2>Like outside of like my relationships, I just had such

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:29.480
<v Speaker 2>PTSD from being on Housewives, and I was always trying

0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:31.880
<v Speaker 2>to tell people like this is who i am. I'm great,

0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:35.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm this, I'm really a nice person. I'm I'm filanthropic,

0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:38.199
<v Speaker 2>I'm kind, I'm a good mother. And I was constantly

0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.840
<v Speaker 2>telling people. And so this year is my year of

0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.360
<v Speaker 2>just kind of listening and sitting back and just being

0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:47.199
<v Speaker 2>more open to what other people are doing. I mean,

0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:49.400
<v Speaker 2>I you know, like even like with you, like I

0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:51.920
<v Speaker 2>want to know, like, you know, are you gonna mean

0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:53.480
<v Speaker 2>a guy I celebrity on Riyah?

0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:55.120
<v Speaker 1>Like are you going to go on Riya?

0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:57.480
<v Speaker 2>Like what are your I want to know what people

0:13:57.480 --> 0:14:00.400
<v Speaker 2>are doing and how they're doing it, versus me always

0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:01.080
<v Speaker 2>telling people.

0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.200
<v Speaker 3>So it seems like you have more confidence and sense

0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:07.000
<v Speaker 3>of self. Maybe that's what all this has come from

0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.360
<v Speaker 3>because I've part of got That's what I think we

0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:11.720
<v Speaker 3>all need to work on. That's my point of bringing

0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 3>it up is I think we all need to just

0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:17.200
<v Speaker 3>get comfortable with our own you know selves kind of

0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:20.440
<v Speaker 3>words and all right, like being authentic and vulnerable and

0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:22.800
<v Speaker 3>all of that stuff. And I think that that's you know,

0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.600
<v Speaker 3>I I think I do a good job of putting

0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:30.120
<v Speaker 3>a confident face on every day, but I think on

0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:33.480
<v Speaker 3>the inside, like I can feel pretty small. Sometimes I

0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.160
<v Speaker 3>can question myself and feel pretty lonely and sad and

0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.280
<v Speaker 3>like how did I end up this way? And then

0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:39.920
<v Speaker 3>I'll be like no, like look what I've I have

0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.400
<v Speaker 3>to like have self talk, like look what I've accomplished. Like,

0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:45.320
<v Speaker 3>But I think for me, you know, I don't know

0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:49.040
<v Speaker 3>like I think i've I'm I'm a little I guess

0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:52.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm disappointed that I haven't found my person in the

0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:54.040
<v Speaker 3>nine years. I mean, I think you and I've been

0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:55.920
<v Speaker 3>divorced around the same amount of time and but a

0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 3>lot of different experiences and dating and stuff. But I

0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:02.120
<v Speaker 3>just I don't know, Like I I think I have

0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:05.280
<v Speaker 3>a fear that I'm going to just end up alone,

0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:06.480
<v Speaker 3>which I don't want that.

0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:10.080
<v Speaker 2>I you know what, It's interesting that I had that

0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:14.600
<v Speaker 2>fear for a long time and for some reason, and

0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:15.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why.

0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.040
<v Speaker 1>I just don't feel like that anymore. I feel like

0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:20.880
<v Speaker 1>I am such I feel like.

0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:23.520
<v Speaker 2>Such a different person and the way that people are

0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:29.240
<v Speaker 2>responding to me is so different. And I I'm just

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:33.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm just open to all possibilities. I just I don't

0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:35.520
<v Speaker 2>want to I don't want to, like say like, I

0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.240
<v Speaker 2>don't want to put out that I'm afraid. I don't

0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:40.520
<v Speaker 2>want to put out that. I you know, I don't want.

0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.600
<v Speaker 1>To put on anything that's negative. I've put out that.

0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:45.880
<v Speaker 2>I've just constantly put out negativity. And I just want

0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:49.360
<v Speaker 2>to say, I'm just saying no. You know, I was

0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:51.680
<v Speaker 2>saying no for so long and now I'm just saying yes,

0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:53.600
<v Speaker 2>and I'm being more open. And I know that sounds

0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:54.400
<v Speaker 2>like so simple.

0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:56.440
<v Speaker 3>Well I say, I think they say like, you just

0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:58.920
<v Speaker 3>have to you know, we have to raise our vibration

0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.360
<v Speaker 3>and admit positive vibration and it comes back to us,

0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:06.120
<v Speaker 3>right like, so if you smile at somebody or whatever,

0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.320
<v Speaker 3>it's just like you're giving off a different energy.

0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:10.880
<v Speaker 2>We's so interesting what you said, because I'm a smiler

0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:12.880
<v Speaker 2>so I'll walk down the street and I'll be like,

0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:13.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm a smiler.

0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:16.760
<v Speaker 1>I just am a smiley person. I don't know like why.

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:18.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I live in New York and people are

0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:20.640
<v Speaker 2>not smiling, so I'm always like smiling. People look at

0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:24.920
<v Speaker 2>me like what's wrong with her? And it's interesting because

0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:27.280
<v Speaker 2>just because I smile doesn't mean like I'm not in

0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:28.200
<v Speaker 2>like a lot of pain.

0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:30.720
<v Speaker 3>But I was thinking about that in yoga today. It

0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:32.560
<v Speaker 3>was so funny because I was like, I was kind

0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.920
<v Speaker 3>of feeling blah, to be totally honest with you, and

0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:38.440
<v Speaker 3>I was looking in the room and I was like,

0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:40.920
<v Speaker 3>I think people would look at me and my down

0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:45.760
<v Speaker 3>dog and think like, probably I'm fine, right, you don't

0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:47.920
<v Speaker 3>know person just when you kind of look at them

0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:50.000
<v Speaker 3>from a distance. And I was like, how many people

0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:53.400
<v Speaker 3>in this room feeling kind of straight today? Right? Like

0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.880
<v Speaker 3>I don't know it. It was just an interesting thing

0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.720
<v Speaker 3>that you're saying that like this, you know, like the

0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:02.440
<v Speaker 3>smile on the exterior is masking the interior and you

0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:04.880
<v Speaker 3>hear of all these bad things that are happening lately,

0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:06.560
<v Speaker 3>and you're like, oh, like we don't really know what's

0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:10.400
<v Speaker 3>going on behind somebody's face. Or behind closed doors. How

0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:12.000
<v Speaker 3>do you deal with projection?

0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:15.800
<v Speaker 2>So hold on, wait, that's that's interesting. I'll answer the

0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:17.920
<v Speaker 2>rejection things. But that's interesting that you say that because

0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:19.840
<v Speaker 2>I was dinner with a friend of mine who's a man,

0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:22.080
<v Speaker 2>and he and I said to him, I'm like, why

0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:24.159
<v Speaker 2>are these women like do they look at me with

0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 2>like such a weird look all the time? And how

0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:29.240
<v Speaker 2>come they're like not nice to me? And he goes,

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.399
<v Speaker 2>because you're always smiling, And I'm like, what do you mean?

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:34.600
<v Speaker 2>He goes, You just make things look.

0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:36.359
<v Speaker 1>So easy, And I'm like, wait.

0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:40.680
<v Speaker 2>A minute, I didn't have this, like you know, all

0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:43.560
<v Speaker 2>this money, I didn't you know. I made my own money.

0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:47.080
<v Speaker 2>I've created my possibilities for myself. No one gave me anything.

0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:49.240
<v Speaker 2>And here a lot of these women have a lot

0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:52.240
<v Speaker 2>of money from their exes. And I was like, so

0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:56.280
<v Speaker 2>hold on, let me get this straight, because I'm not like,

0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:57.040
<v Speaker 2>because I'm not.

0:17:57.119 --> 0:18:00.359
<v Speaker 3>Wearing my war worms now, they're just jealous. So they

0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:02.800
<v Speaker 3>have their own stuff going on. Kelly, Like, I think

0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:06.159
<v Speaker 3>somebody who's smiling is so engaging and they're so like

0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:08.480
<v Speaker 3>it just attracts people. It's like your aura is warm,

0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:10.159
<v Speaker 3>Like the second I got on with you. It was

0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:13.080
<v Speaker 3>like literally like bees to honey. It was like just

0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:16.520
<v Speaker 3>so easy to connect and talk to you, like so easy,

0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.120
<v Speaker 3>Like certain people make you feel comfortable that you can

0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.040
<v Speaker 3>chat or you can you know my barometers of I

0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.800
<v Speaker 3>can sit in silence with somebody and be comfortable and

0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:29.040
<v Speaker 3>not have to fill the air with conversation. And I

0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:34.479
<v Speaker 3>think you actually give off a really warm, very real energy.

0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:37.000
<v Speaker 3>I don't agree with him, your friend. Maybe he's in

0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:38.560
<v Speaker 3>love with you and he doesn't want you to smile

0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:39.399
<v Speaker 3>and attract people.

0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:42.840
<v Speaker 1>All right, let's talk about dating. What are you gonna do?

0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:46.280
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so are you gonna go on a dating app?

0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:49.280
<v Speaker 2>Or are you just gonna like hide behind your friends dating?

0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:53.080
<v Speaker 3>Well, so I'm lucky in that, Wylloy No, but I'm

0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:57.400
<v Speaker 3>lucky in that. You know, I wouldn't want my circle

0:18:57.480 --> 0:18:59.400
<v Speaker 3>to have been divorced and experienced out, but I would

0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:02.120
<v Speaker 3>say I have a lot of best friends who are

0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:06.240
<v Speaker 3>divorced also. So we have like this like kind of

0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:09.520
<v Speaker 3>girl posse, which is fun. We do our girl trips,

0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:12.399
<v Speaker 3>we do you know, our dinners, like we have like

0:19:12.560 --> 0:19:15.919
<v Speaker 3>a crew. The hard thing is is in la I

0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:17.280
<v Speaker 3>don't know how it is in New York. It's like

0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:19.520
<v Speaker 3>you don't really meet people when you're out right, we

0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:22.040
<v Speaker 3>sit at a girl table. No guy's approaching a table

0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:24.960
<v Speaker 3>of five girls. It just doesn't happen, right, I mean

0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:28.119
<v Speaker 3>it just I mean your best case scenario is to

0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:31.240
<v Speaker 3>go to like, you know, Bald Hare after a golf

0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:33.600
<v Speaker 3>tournament and hope for the best you know, in the

0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:36.040
<v Speaker 3>bar area. It's like the red onion for this generation.

0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:38.680
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I got so Louise, I have to tell you

0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:43.560
<v Speaker 2>this a flirting tip that Countess Lwan gave me. So Basically,

0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:45.680
<v Speaker 2>when you're at a table with a with a group

0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:47.639
<v Speaker 2>of women having a great time, one of your the

0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:50.640
<v Speaker 2>nice that you go out what you do is that

0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:53.960
<v Speaker 2>you can either drop an hapkin or you can she

0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:56.639
<v Speaker 2>said send a drink over. I would right, But you

0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:58.840
<v Speaker 2>can send a drink over to somebody, or you can

0:19:58.880 --> 0:19:59.760
<v Speaker 2>write them a note.

0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:04.240
<v Speaker 1>Hi, Can I borrow your pen for a second? And right? Show?

0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:06.000
<v Speaker 1>What can you do?

0:20:06.080 --> 0:20:09.840
<v Speaker 3>Aloha? That's your word? But can you do that? Like,

0:20:09.920 --> 0:20:12.239
<v Speaker 3>I'm so scared of rejection, Like I got to get

0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:13.240
<v Speaker 3>a thicker skin with that.

0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:15.760
<v Speaker 2>If I were with you and I saw the guy

0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.080
<v Speaker 2>that you liked, I'd be like let's get that piece

0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:18.640
<v Speaker 2>of peeling.

0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:20.879
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't do it on my own.

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:22.720
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't like, I wouldn't like sit there and be

0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:23.719
<v Speaker 2>like I'm gonna drop a bit.

0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:25.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna drop an upt But Luanne does that.

0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:26.880
<v Speaker 1>She does that.

0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:28.480
<v Speaker 3>I could wing women for you.

0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:31.760
<v Speaker 1>No, No, she's gotting serious, serious game. She's like, what

0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:32.280
<v Speaker 1>are you doing?

0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:34.040
<v Speaker 2>She's like, if I had your she said to me,

0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:35.440
<v Speaker 2>and she goes, if I had your body, I'd be

0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:36.360
<v Speaker 2>having sex every day.

0:20:36.400 --> 0:20:38.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what you are?

0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:41.960
<v Speaker 3>Okay? So we need to challenge ourselves. So you're asking

0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:45.439
<v Speaker 3>about January. We need to have an accountability chart and

0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:48.439
<v Speaker 3>do those things. I mean we really, that's really what

0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:49.840
<v Speaker 3>we need to do. Like I know people that will

0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:52.240
<v Speaker 3>go sit at a restaurant and a bar by themselves.

0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:53.560
<v Speaker 3>They meet a million of people.

0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:55.679
<v Speaker 2>Oh you, So what you do is you use the

0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.920
<v Speaker 2>waiter to send the note to the guy.

0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:00.720
<v Speaker 1>So you say, goog, come.

0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:03.800
<v Speaker 2>Over here, and then you're like, I wrote this little note,

0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:05.040
<v Speaker 2>dear smoke show.

0:21:05.160 --> 0:21:05.879
<v Speaker 1>How are you?

0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:09.280
<v Speaker 3>But what if they reject you? How do you handle rejection?

0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.199
<v Speaker 2>I mean, imagine if you sent a note over or like,

0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:14.080
<v Speaker 2>ask the guy if he wanted to glass, you know,

0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:16.400
<v Speaker 2>if you want a glass of wine and he's like married,

0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:19.879
<v Speaker 2>Oh my well, by the way, I guess they just

0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:20.639
<v Speaker 2>rejected waiters.

0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:21.680
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't matter who cares.

0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:24.400
<v Speaker 3>But like, oh my god, is it easy to meet people?

0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:28.000
<v Speaker 3>Like is it easy to meet people in New York?

0:21:28.200 --> 0:21:28.440
<v Speaker 1>Out?

0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:29.440
<v Speaker 3>When you go out with your friend?

0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:31.879
<v Speaker 1>Whoa in New York? Are you kidding me? You're sitting

0:21:31.880 --> 0:21:34.159
<v Speaker 1>at places and people aren't even people like people like

0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:34.760
<v Speaker 1>look through you.

0:21:34.880 --> 0:21:37.119
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, hello, oh my god, I was just on

0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:38.919
<v Speaker 3>a girls trip in New York. It was so I

0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:41.040
<v Speaker 3>feel like there's a million more guys in you York.

0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:43.240
<v Speaker 3>You probably feel that way about La.

0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:44.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, I think that's the thing.

0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:47.680
<v Speaker 2>I think it's like because me, I like go into

0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:49.879
<v Speaker 2>these restaurants and I'm like, okay, I'm here all the time.

0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:53.240
<v Speaker 2>People are not looking at me, and maybe and that's

0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:56.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's like you were saying before about maybe

0:21:56.560 --> 0:21:59.040
<v Speaker 2>that's a good tip, is that when you do go

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.919
<v Speaker 2>into a place that you typically go to, you know

0:22:03.000 --> 0:22:04.959
<v Speaker 2>kind of like throw your shoulders back and be like

0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:07.359
<v Speaker 2>it's the new girl in town, versus like, oh, I

0:22:07.400 --> 0:22:09.000
<v Speaker 2>come here all the time, do you know what I mean?

0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:12.200
<v Speaker 2>So that you give off that new energy like you're taught.

0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:15.320
<v Speaker 2>You're always talking about like having you know, switching your energy,

0:22:15.640 --> 0:22:17.639
<v Speaker 2>and maybe that's what you do. Maybe you're just like, no,

0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:19.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna be like the everyday girl. I'm gonna

0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:23.680
<v Speaker 2>be like the new girl. Okay, let's you just challenge

0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:25.800
<v Speaker 2>each other to do something new with dating.

0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:28.400
<v Speaker 1>So let's come up with the challenge. What yours? Well?

0:22:28.440 --> 0:22:30.360
<v Speaker 3>I think I'm gonna have to take a play out

0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:33.800
<v Speaker 3>of your friend's playbook and drop the nap and with

0:22:34.040 --> 0:22:36.360
<v Speaker 3>the notes we can combine the accent.

0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:49.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So Louise, I want you to try. So we're

0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:52.520
<v Speaker 2>gonna we're challenging each other. Okay, I love, this is

0:22:52.560 --> 0:22:52.920
<v Speaker 2>the game.

0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:56.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm challenging you to do something and you're challenging me

0:22:56.400 --> 0:22:58.639
<v Speaker 1>to do something in the dating world. So I'm gonna

0:22:58.680 --> 0:22:59.080
<v Speaker 1>we're gonna.

0:22:59.119 --> 0:23:02.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna take the tip out of Countess Luance playbook

0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:04.000
<v Speaker 2>and I want.

0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:05.840
<v Speaker 1>You to tomorrow and.

0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:09.280
<v Speaker 2>This week wherever you go, even if it's during the day,

0:23:09.320 --> 0:23:10.440
<v Speaker 2>Like it doesn't have to be at night. It could

0:23:10.480 --> 0:23:12.960
<v Speaker 2>be like at your coffee place or after yoga, and

0:23:13.080 --> 0:23:15.800
<v Speaker 2>like maybe give it to like the coffee guy and

0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:17.040
<v Speaker 2>be like, hey, this guy's really hot.

0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:21.440
<v Speaker 1>Can you give no, write.

0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:24.280
<v Speaker 2>The note before, write the note in one of your cards,

0:23:24.320 --> 0:23:26.359
<v Speaker 2>not your business cards, but like a card, or.

0:23:26.600 --> 0:23:28.040
<v Speaker 3>Bring it in my clutch and just.

0:23:27.960 --> 0:23:30.480
<v Speaker 2>Have and if you see a hot guy, give it

0:23:30.520 --> 0:23:31.879
<v Speaker 2>to whomever, the wait or whatever.

0:23:32.000 --> 0:23:34.639
<v Speaker 1>Have it prepared, and like I should.

0:23:34.400 --> 0:23:36.520
<v Speaker 3>Just give it to any guy and really emersion therapy

0:23:36.560 --> 0:23:41.520
<v Speaker 3>and really challenge myself. Right, okay, so not you.

0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:44.160
<v Speaker 1>You can't do it to give it to a waiter.

0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:46.600
<v Speaker 3>Or I know, but I'll have it already.

0:23:46.680 --> 0:23:48.320
<v Speaker 1>Okay, have it ready though, have it ready?

0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:50.719
<v Speaker 3>Have to here's your challenge.

0:23:50.840 --> 0:23:51.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:55.200
<v Speaker 3>You need to go to a place in New York

0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:58.840
<v Speaker 3>you don't ever go to, and you need to sit

0:23:58.880 --> 0:24:01.240
<v Speaker 3>at the bar by yourself, and you need to have

0:24:01.280 --> 0:24:02.520
<v Speaker 3>a conversation with a man.

0:24:02.960 --> 0:24:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, well hold on.

0:24:05.720 --> 0:24:08.800
<v Speaker 2>So it was last week or the week before, which

0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:11.720
<v Speaker 2>is something I would literally and I'm not I don't

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:14.960
<v Speaker 2>really like the word never, but I'm telling you never

0:24:15.440 --> 0:24:16.960
<v Speaker 2>do I sit at a barber myself.

0:24:17.520 --> 0:24:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I will stand and wait.

0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:23.840
<v Speaker 2>On my phone in the corner, pretending I'm talking to

0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:29.439
<v Speaker 2>whomever like outside, versus sitting at a barber myself. Like

0:24:29.480 --> 0:24:31.600
<v Speaker 2>it's like I'm like, oh my god, I just would

0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:32.880
<v Speaker 2>like this. I'll freak out.

0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:38.720
<v Speaker 1>And I went to I was supposed to.

0:24:39.000 --> 0:24:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Honest, I was seeing this guy in New York and

0:24:41.200 --> 0:24:43.640
<v Speaker 2>I was away in LA and I came back from

0:24:43.760 --> 0:24:46.040
<v Speaker 2>jingle Ball and we were supposed to like walk around

0:24:46.080 --> 0:24:48.320
<v Speaker 2>and do all this Christmas shopping and stuff, and he

0:24:48.480 --> 0:24:49.680
<v Speaker 2>was like busy sleeping.

0:24:50.240 --> 0:24:52.280
<v Speaker 1>So I was like, you know what, if you're sleeping,

0:24:52.280 --> 0:24:52.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna go.

0:24:53.280 --> 0:24:55.560
<v Speaker 2>My daughters were doing their thing, and I just went

0:24:55.600 --> 0:24:57.560
<v Speaker 2>to Saint Ambrose and I sat at the bar and

0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:00.399
<v Speaker 2>I was chatting with all these different people and I

0:25:00.480 --> 0:25:01.440
<v Speaker 2>was like, loving life.

0:25:01.720 --> 0:25:04.080
<v Speaker 3>You know what if somebody told me really good advice,

0:25:04.200 --> 0:25:04.679
<v Speaker 3>well was.

0:25:04.720 --> 0:25:06.600
<v Speaker 1>I didn't talk to a man. I was talking to

0:25:06.680 --> 0:25:09.080
<v Speaker 1>like everybody, but not to a man specifically.

0:25:09.359 --> 0:25:11.920
<v Speaker 3>So I don't know where I heard this. It could

0:25:11.920 --> 0:25:14.240
<v Speaker 3>have been you, but it was a good idea. So

0:25:14.320 --> 0:25:16.560
<v Speaker 3>if you're about to go to like, let's say you've

0:25:16.560 --> 0:25:20.159
<v Speaker 3>a friend's birthday dinner and it's at seven o'clock, you

0:25:20.200 --> 0:25:22.760
<v Speaker 3>should go to the restaurant early, at like six point thirty,

0:25:23.680 --> 0:25:26.960
<v Speaker 3>and then you should whatever the challenge is, force yourself

0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:29.320
<v Speaker 3>to sit at the bar talk to a guy, drop,

0:25:29.400 --> 0:25:31.560
<v Speaker 3>give a nap into a wait or whatever. And then

0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:33.840
<v Speaker 3>if it's like a crash and burn, you already know

0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:35.800
<v Speaker 3>that it was a thirty minute you know, kind of

0:25:35.880 --> 0:25:39.200
<v Speaker 3>quick X window and then you sit at your girl's dinner. Anyways,

0:25:39.640 --> 0:25:40.400
<v Speaker 3>that's the move.

0:25:40.960 --> 0:25:43.399
<v Speaker 2>That's that is the move, because you have something to do.

0:25:43.440 --> 0:25:45.320
<v Speaker 2>You're not just sitting there waiting around and like that.

0:25:45.359 --> 0:25:48.040
<v Speaker 3>And then you don't feel like a total loser, right right.

0:25:48.000 --> 0:25:51.199
<v Speaker 1>And then you don't go home and you're like, wow, but.

0:25:51.280 --> 0:25:54.080
<v Speaker 3>Kelly, I heard you're being set up from your lovely

0:25:54.160 --> 0:25:56.879
<v Speaker 3>producers and I love to be set up. It is

0:25:56.960 --> 0:26:00.640
<v Speaker 3>my favorite thing. So how is mister tennant? And what

0:26:00.760 --> 0:26:03.080
<v Speaker 3>is going on? You know, you guys heard the podcast. You

0:26:03.119 --> 0:26:05.800
<v Speaker 3>had the first phone call. So where are we at?

0:26:05.880 --> 0:26:06.520
<v Speaker 3>Are you excited?

0:26:07.000 --> 0:26:08.160
<v Speaker 1>I am so excited.

0:26:08.200 --> 0:26:13.280
<v Speaker 2>So he's coming this Thursday where he's going to work,

0:26:13.800 --> 0:26:16.840
<v Speaker 2>and then we're gonna spend the weekend doing fun stuff

0:26:16.880 --> 0:26:17.360
<v Speaker 2>in New York.

0:26:17.600 --> 0:26:19.080
<v Speaker 3>You're going to spend the whole Is he staying in

0:26:19.080 --> 0:26:19.480
<v Speaker 3>a hotel?

0:26:19.840 --> 0:26:20.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:26:20.160 --> 0:26:23.480
<v Speaker 3>Of course and then in Manhattan. Okay, and do you

0:26:23.560 --> 0:26:26.240
<v Speaker 3>guys have like okay, can I ask a logistical question?

0:26:26.760 --> 0:26:27.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes?

0:26:27.600 --> 0:26:30.200
<v Speaker 3>Are you making all the reservations because it's your town

0:26:30.440 --> 0:26:31.960
<v Speaker 3>or is it on him to be the trigger puller?

0:26:32.400 --> 0:26:35.600
<v Speaker 2>So that's a really good question. He was kind of

0:26:35.640 --> 0:26:37.719
<v Speaker 2>like asking me things like what do you like to do?

0:26:37.760 --> 0:26:39.600
<v Speaker 2>And He's like, one thing that I really want to

0:26:39.640 --> 0:26:42.560
<v Speaker 2>do is I want to go and have a bourbon

0:26:42.720 --> 0:26:45.600
<v Speaker 2>at like a really vibey place in New York, like

0:26:45.640 --> 0:26:47.080
<v Speaker 2>a cool like a library bar.

0:26:47.160 --> 0:26:49.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, that's cool, that's cool. That's very cool. I

0:26:49.800 --> 0:26:51.920
<v Speaker 1>was like, I'm like, I don't drink bourbon, so I'm

0:26:51.960 --> 0:26:52.600
<v Speaker 1>like I will be.

0:26:54.760 --> 0:26:56.920
<v Speaker 2>But I thought that was really cool and I love

0:26:56.960 --> 0:26:59.240
<v Speaker 2>that kind of like just vibe.

0:26:59.320 --> 0:27:02.240
<v Speaker 1>Just sounded like very warm and fun and.

0:27:02.200 --> 0:27:04.400
<v Speaker 3>Like still like in the winter and cozy.

0:27:04.600 --> 0:27:07.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, winter cozy exactly. So I love that.

0:27:08.760 --> 0:27:11.960
<v Speaker 2>And then he was like telling me stuff and asked

0:27:11.960 --> 0:27:14.000
<v Speaker 2>he like send me sending me places and he liked.

0:27:14.040 --> 0:27:19.000
<v Speaker 2>And then I my daughter was actually she was she

0:27:19.119 --> 0:27:21.440
<v Speaker 2>was sitting at the table and she was like, Mom,

0:27:21.520 --> 0:27:23.480
<v Speaker 2>what is what's going on? I was like, Oh, like,

0:27:24.119 --> 0:27:25.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm going out with this guy named mister Tennis this

0:27:25.880 --> 0:27:29.720
<v Speaker 2>week and he's giving me places to go. Oh my god, Mom,

0:27:30.119 --> 0:27:32.520
<v Speaker 2>First of all, you have to go to Okay, then

0:27:32.560 --> 0:27:34.280
<v Speaker 2>you have to go to Temple Bar then you have

0:27:34.320 --> 0:27:34.639
<v Speaker 2>to do this.

0:27:34.760 --> 0:27:37.520
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, okay, oh my god, that is

0:27:37.560 --> 0:27:40.320
<v Speaker 1>the funny. I was all right. I was like I

0:27:40.320 --> 0:27:43.000
<v Speaker 1>need a place for b and she's like, I got it.

0:27:43.240 --> 0:27:46.480
<v Speaker 3>Just go on TikTok. I know we can find everything on.

0:27:46.840 --> 0:27:47.000
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:27:47.000 --> 0:27:49.119
<v Speaker 3>It's interesting though for him, so you kind of have

0:27:49.160 --> 0:27:51.080
<v Speaker 3>to feel bad, right, It's like he's nervous, like he

0:27:51.160 --> 0:27:55.000
<v Speaker 3>wants to you know, he's coming to your area, but

0:27:55.080 --> 0:27:57.679
<v Speaker 3>yet he wants to be a man and come up

0:27:57.720 --> 0:28:02.000
<v Speaker 3>with good so good suggestion. It's like an interesting thing

0:28:02.040 --> 0:28:03.800
<v Speaker 3>and he doesn't. Like there's something worse than when you're

0:28:03.800 --> 0:28:05.760
<v Speaker 3>going out with somebody and they like pick a place

0:28:05.800 --> 0:28:09.120
<v Speaker 3>and you're like okay, like you know what I'm saying, Like.

0:28:09.160 --> 0:28:11.520
<v Speaker 2>I love yeah, but you know I also like to

0:28:11.560 --> 0:28:13.359
<v Speaker 2>your point, like am I picking stuff? So I was like,

0:28:13.440 --> 0:28:17.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna pick places for him because let him

0:28:17.280 --> 0:28:17.960
<v Speaker 2>have fun.

0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:19.320
<v Speaker 1>With that, do you know what I mean? Like he's

0:28:19.359 --> 0:28:20.240
<v Speaker 1>from he's not.

0:28:20.440 --> 0:28:22.640
<v Speaker 2>He traveled, he comes here a lot, so like let

0:28:22.720 --> 0:28:24.919
<v Speaker 2>him like have fun with that. But I was like

0:28:24.920 --> 0:28:27.119
<v Speaker 2>the one thing that I really wanted him to do,

0:28:27.200 --> 0:28:29.919
<v Speaker 2>and I said, would I think you should play tennis

0:28:29.920 --> 0:28:33.480
<v Speaker 2>while you're here, Like you're gonna be here for three days.

0:28:33.840 --> 0:28:35.800
<v Speaker 2>One day you're working and then two days you're hanging

0:28:35.800 --> 0:28:37.480
<v Speaker 2>out with me. But like, I really want you to

0:28:37.520 --> 0:28:39.520
<v Speaker 2>play tennis because it's something that you love to do

0:28:39.640 --> 0:28:41.560
<v Speaker 2>and I want to watch you.

0:28:42.360 --> 0:28:48.200
<v Speaker 1>And so Vanderbilt at in uh in uh it's.

0:28:48.000 --> 0:28:50.160
<v Speaker 2>Called Vanderbilt and it's this private it's not a private,

0:28:50.200 --> 0:28:55.960
<v Speaker 2>it's just a small, one course tennis tennis court.

0:28:56.240 --> 0:28:59.000
<v Speaker 1>It's one tennis court. It's in Vanderbilt, it's in.

0:29:00.800 --> 0:29:03.160
<v Speaker 2>It's on forty second Street, and it's so bougie and

0:29:03.240 --> 0:29:05.360
<v Speaker 2>so cool and so unique. And I was like, that

0:29:05.360 --> 0:29:08.360
<v Speaker 2>would be so fun for him and I could be

0:29:08.640 --> 0:29:10.600
<v Speaker 2>his I could like hit balls to him.

0:29:10.560 --> 0:29:12.720
<v Speaker 3>But it will make him so you'll like actually love

0:29:12.720 --> 0:29:14.520
<v Speaker 3>watching him because if he's like super hot on the

0:29:14.560 --> 0:29:17.400
<v Speaker 3>tennis court, you'll get like totally even more into him.

0:29:17.520 --> 0:29:19.080
<v Speaker 1>Right, I just want him to do something that makes

0:29:19.160 --> 0:29:19.840
<v Speaker 1>him feel good.

0:29:19.960 --> 0:29:22.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I really appreciate the fact that he's coming,

0:29:23.200 --> 0:29:26.160
<v Speaker 2>but I also want to do something for him that

0:29:26.280 --> 0:29:29.040
<v Speaker 2>shows that I, you know.

0:29:29.040 --> 0:29:31.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm interested in him and I want him to be

0:29:31.320 --> 0:29:31.880
<v Speaker 1>happy too.

0:29:32.320 --> 0:29:34.080
<v Speaker 3>So question for you, it's good?

0:29:34.280 --> 0:29:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Is that weird? No?

0:29:35.640 --> 0:29:38.520
<v Speaker 3>I think it's really awesome. But let's assume it's going

0:29:38.560 --> 0:29:41.120
<v Speaker 3>to be like amazing and you're gonna be But what

0:29:41.240 --> 0:29:44.480
<v Speaker 3>happens if on day day two of his three day

0:29:44.520 --> 0:29:48.400
<v Speaker 3>trip you're like just not that into it? What do

0:29:48.440 --> 0:29:48.640
<v Speaker 3>you do?

0:29:49.360 --> 0:29:51.000
<v Speaker 1>We talk a lot, we talk at the.

0:29:50.960 --> 0:29:53.480
<v Speaker 3>Phone, so you already have a connection, you feel.

0:29:53.480 --> 0:29:58.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we talk and we get along so well, like

0:29:58.040 --> 0:29:59.680
<v Speaker 2>we just get along really really well.

0:30:00.240 --> 0:30:03.040
<v Speaker 3>That's amazing. I mean, setups truly are the best because

0:30:03.640 --> 0:30:06.560
<v Speaker 3>a you have a little intel of somebody, you're already

0:30:06.640 --> 0:30:09.280
<v Speaker 3>like kind of connecting. It's like a hometown pro so

0:30:09.400 --> 0:30:13.560
<v Speaker 3>it feels safe and I don't know, a little more familiar.

0:30:13.640 --> 0:30:15.880
<v Speaker 3>So it sounds like you guys are building a bit

0:30:15.880 --> 0:30:17.720
<v Speaker 3>of a foundation already. So when you see him, it's

0:30:17.760 --> 0:30:20.680
<v Speaker 3>just going to be like like probably you'll give him

0:30:20.680 --> 0:30:23.040
<v Speaker 3>a kiss hello, not like a just like a perfunctory

0:30:23.200 --> 0:30:24.080
<v Speaker 3>like hug or something.

0:30:24.360 --> 0:30:24.560
<v Speaker 2>Wait.

0:30:24.600 --> 0:30:26.520
<v Speaker 1>But you know what, also, it is he's a plu.

0:30:27.680 --> 0:30:32.120
<v Speaker 1>So plu is people like you, people I like that.

0:30:32.320 --> 0:30:32.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't know that.

0:30:32.760 --> 0:30:33.400
<v Speaker 3>I've never heard that.

0:30:33.600 --> 0:30:35.560
<v Speaker 2>So a PLU could be a lot of different things,

0:30:35.600 --> 0:30:38.240
<v Speaker 2>but for me, a PLU is like people that are

0:30:38.480 --> 0:30:43.000
<v Speaker 2>like me, that are interested, curious, you know, good parents,

0:30:43.440 --> 0:30:47.239
<v Speaker 2>good friends. Like you said, strong moral compass. You know

0:30:47.360 --> 0:30:49.400
<v Speaker 2>that is a that's a PLU. I mean you can

0:30:49.440 --> 0:30:50.360
<v Speaker 2>meet a lot of people that.

0:30:50.360 --> 0:30:51.920
<v Speaker 1>Are not Kelly.

0:30:51.920 --> 0:30:55.240
<v Speaker 3>You should start a dating app called PLU. Unless you're

0:30:55.280 --> 0:30:57.880
<v Speaker 3>a PLU, you cannot be a part of this dating app.

0:30:58.280 --> 0:31:00.520
<v Speaker 3>We got to limit this pool better, right.

0:31:00.920 --> 0:31:04.280
<v Speaker 2>Right, Everyone wants to make it bigger. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,

0:31:04.280 --> 0:31:04.640
<v Speaker 2>no no.

0:31:04.880 --> 0:31:06.720
<v Speaker 1>If you're not appealing you no, you know what.

0:31:06.840 --> 0:31:09.720
<v Speaker 3>I think divorce attorneys as a side gig should start

0:31:09.840 --> 0:31:13.680
<v Speaker 3>matchmaking thousand. I think you guys, I'm excited to hear

0:31:13.720 --> 0:31:16.200
<v Speaker 3>about it on your I guess that podcast which we'll

0:31:16.240 --> 0:31:19.240
<v Speaker 3>talk about like the kind of post mortem of this weekend.

0:31:19.320 --> 0:31:21.440
<v Speaker 3>What if this is? What if this happened? I mean,

0:31:21.440 --> 0:31:24.080
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't this be amazing?

0:31:24.120 --> 0:31:24.840
<v Speaker 1>I have a good.

0:31:24.680 --> 0:31:27.760
<v Speaker 3>Feeling he's I have a good feeling. He sounds like

0:31:27.800 --> 0:31:30.720
<v Speaker 3>he's a good human being, he's passionate. What happens you

0:31:30.800 --> 0:31:33.760
<v Speaker 3>created a connection, You've been talking to guy's flying, you know,

0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:36.240
<v Speaker 3>three thousand miles to see when you see him, like,

0:31:36.360 --> 0:31:37.880
<v Speaker 3>do you just give him a little handtake or do

0:31:37.880 --> 0:31:39.080
<v Speaker 3>you give him like a kiss?

0:31:39.120 --> 0:31:39.400
<v Speaker 1>Hello?

0:31:39.520 --> 0:31:41.720
<v Speaker 3>Like what's the kind of what do you think is

0:31:41.720 --> 0:31:43.000
<v Speaker 3>going to happen when you see him?

0:31:43.520 --> 0:31:45.680
<v Speaker 1>I think I don't know. I'm not going to kiss

0:31:45.760 --> 0:31:48.840
<v Speaker 1>him and be like, you know, I probably will, like.

0:31:48.880 --> 0:31:51.000
<v Speaker 3>You're not going to row your tongue down his throat

0:31:55.480 --> 0:31:58.560
<v Speaker 3>like a kiss on the kiss on the cheek. Are

0:31:58.560 --> 0:32:00.440
<v Speaker 3>you going to see each other at first in the

0:32:00.520 --> 0:32:01.760
<v Speaker 3>daytime or the nighttime?

0:32:02.440 --> 0:32:03.880
<v Speaker 1>I think it's gonna be the night time because he

0:32:03.880 --> 0:32:04.640
<v Speaker 1>has to be at work.

0:32:04.520 --> 0:32:06.960
<v Speaker 3>So I think it's a liquid courage will be coming soon.

0:32:07.600 --> 0:32:12.959
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I'll probably just like hug him because I

0:32:13.000 --> 0:32:14.840
<v Speaker 2>just I don't know. I'm like just I like just

0:32:14.960 --> 0:32:17.320
<v Speaker 2>I like think he's so great. I think he's so

0:32:17.440 --> 0:32:19.480
<v Speaker 2>great that when I texted the other guys, I'm like,

0:32:20.040 --> 0:32:20.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm boring.

0:32:21.480 --> 0:32:24.400
<v Speaker 3>Are you wow this? I am really crossing my fingers

0:32:24.400 --> 0:32:26.360
<v Speaker 3>for you? And you know, there's a concept called do

0:32:26.440 --> 0:32:28.320
<v Speaker 3>you know this concept of driftwood? Do you know who

0:32:28.360 --> 0:32:29.360
<v Speaker 3>Gabby Bernstein is?

0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:32.000
<v Speaker 1>You asked me this before and I did not do

0:32:32.080 --> 0:32:32.640
<v Speaker 1>not to.

0:32:33.000 --> 0:32:35.600
<v Speaker 3>This is my favorite concept and I'm gonna look at this.

0:32:35.800 --> 0:32:41.040
<v Speaker 3>Your situation is my driftwood. Okay, concept of driftwood. You

0:32:41.080 --> 0:32:44.360
<v Speaker 3>are being set up with somebody you're excited. It's good,

0:32:44.440 --> 0:32:47.520
<v Speaker 3>you're talking. He's flying in and I'm sitting here and

0:32:47.680 --> 0:32:49.880
<v Speaker 3>I'm looking at it like, oh, it's about to happen

0:32:49.920 --> 0:32:52.120
<v Speaker 3>for me too. Instead of looking at it like why

0:32:52.240 --> 0:32:54.360
<v Speaker 3>isn't it happening for me, I'm looking at it like

0:32:54.640 --> 0:32:57.680
<v Speaker 3>I'm next. Yes, I mean probably know, Kelly, you might

0:32:57.720 --> 0:32:58.400
<v Speaker 3>have somebody for.

0:32:58.360 --> 0:32:59.440
<v Speaker 1>Me, exactly.

0:32:59.680 --> 0:33:03.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's the whole point about like, you know, friends

0:33:03.720 --> 0:33:08.760
<v Speaker 2>setting up friends, and yes, okay, you know people are like, oh,

0:33:08.880 --> 0:33:10.920
<v Speaker 2>you can go on these dating apps and all this stuff,

0:33:10.960 --> 0:33:13.680
<v Speaker 2>and like there's this big pool of people. But you know,

0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:17.520
<v Speaker 2>I think it's really really important to set people up.

0:33:17.560 --> 0:33:20.720
<v Speaker 2>And like we were saying, like recycle, recycle, and you said,

0:33:20.760 --> 0:33:23.000
<v Speaker 2>like we said, you you went out with him, you

0:33:23.040 --> 0:33:24.719
<v Speaker 2>went on a date with him, and I was asking,

0:33:24.800 --> 0:33:27.440
<v Speaker 2>I was asking, like, what what are your what were

0:33:27.480 --> 0:33:28.280
<v Speaker 2>your thoughts?

0:33:28.560 --> 0:33:32.240
<v Speaker 3>It's important to recycle men because one woman's trash could

0:33:32.240 --> 0:33:33.240
<v Speaker 3>be another woman's treasure.

0:33:34.080 --> 0:33:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you went on a date with mister Tennant.

0:33:38.800 --> 0:33:39.480
<v Speaker 3>Yes I did.

0:33:41.680 --> 0:33:43.160
<v Speaker 1>She's not trash, he's a treasure.

0:33:43.280 --> 0:33:43.760
<v Speaker 3>He's not.

0:33:44.760 --> 0:33:46.800
<v Speaker 2>But I'm just kidding, no, no, I'm just we're just because

0:33:46.960 --> 0:33:48.400
<v Speaker 2>like before that, it was like trash and tree.

0:33:48.480 --> 0:33:50.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, no, no, no, he's a really instellar human.

0:33:51.600 --> 0:33:54.840
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to tell you first of all, I want

0:33:54.880 --> 0:33:57.280
<v Speaker 3>you to know one thing and when you sit down.

0:33:58.400 --> 0:33:59.760
<v Speaker 3>It was so many it was five years ago, but

0:33:59.800 --> 0:34:01.720
<v Speaker 3>let me take one thing. He has the best style.

0:34:02.280 --> 0:34:05.440
<v Speaker 3>His style was beautiful. We went to dinner. He was

0:34:05.440 --> 0:34:11.000
<v Speaker 3>wearing this gorgeous cashmeir like kind of shawl like cardigan.

0:34:11.400 --> 0:34:15.440
<v Speaker 3>He smelled really good. He's got a great body, obviously

0:34:15.920 --> 0:34:18.960
<v Speaker 3>in tennis stead. He is a great dad. To be

0:34:19.000 --> 0:34:21.440
<v Speaker 3>honest with you, what happened was when we got set up,

0:34:22.000 --> 0:34:23.799
<v Speaker 3>I had just gotten out of a relationship and I

0:34:23.880 --> 0:34:26.759
<v Speaker 3>was a little sad, and I think that was that's

0:34:26.840 --> 0:34:29.239
<v Speaker 3>kind of hard to switch gears, and it was particularly

0:34:29.280 --> 0:34:32.880
<v Speaker 3>hard for me and he. This is five six years ago.

0:34:33.120 --> 0:34:35.479
<v Speaker 3>He had little kids in car seats and I don't

0:34:35.600 --> 0:34:38.319
<v Speaker 3>know how old his kids are now. But wasn't I

0:34:38.400 --> 0:34:40.879
<v Speaker 3>wasn't looking for that. I just think the timing was off.

0:34:40.960 --> 0:34:43.640
<v Speaker 3>But he's and he's very close to his family, and

0:34:43.680 --> 0:34:49.280
<v Speaker 3>so I think that great dad, close to his family, cute, warm, friendly,

0:34:49.520 --> 0:34:52.239
<v Speaker 3>amaze his style. I want you to report back to

0:34:52.239 --> 0:34:53.719
<v Speaker 3>me on it, because he had probably one of the

0:34:53.800 --> 0:34:57.440
<v Speaker 3>better senses of style of any guy I'd ever gone out.

0:34:57.719 --> 0:35:00.080
<v Speaker 2>I love that because I like, I worked at fash

0:35:00.320 --> 0:35:00.960
<v Speaker 2>for so long.

0:35:01.120 --> 0:35:03.319
<v Speaker 3>No, I know you're going to appreciate it.

0:35:03.440 --> 0:35:04.359
<v Speaker 1>I love that.

0:35:04.480 --> 0:35:08.000
<v Speaker 2>Actually, that makes me very very happy because there's so

0:35:08.040 --> 0:35:11.919
<v Speaker 2>many guys that I literally that sounds awful, so many guys.

0:35:11.920 --> 0:35:13.920
<v Speaker 2>But the guys in the past that I've dated, I

0:35:14.040 --> 0:35:18.719
<v Speaker 2>definitely have to have given them a little amp up.

0:35:19.480 --> 0:35:21.440
<v Speaker 3>And that's easy, and then that's so easy to do.

0:35:21.760 --> 0:35:24.319
<v Speaker 2>It is, but it's also kind of like makes me

0:35:24.640 --> 0:35:26.440
<v Speaker 2>like I feel badly that.

0:35:26.520 --> 0:35:28.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, can you put that jacket on? And like,

0:35:28.600 --> 0:35:29.800
<v Speaker 1>what should I wear? I'm like, can you wear that

0:35:29.880 --> 0:35:32.120
<v Speaker 1>jacket with that shirt I have? I know it to wear.

0:35:32.160 --> 0:35:36.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, please wear the shirt. Then what are you

0:35:36.400 --> 0:35:37.640
<v Speaker 1>looking for? What are you looking for?

0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:39.960
<v Speaker 3>Okay? I am looking for.

0:35:40.040 --> 0:35:41.680
<v Speaker 1>Cause if I'm going to set you up, like I

0:35:41.719 --> 0:35:43.480
<v Speaker 1>need to know, I love that. Okay.

0:35:43.640 --> 0:35:46.120
<v Speaker 3>Most importantly, I'm looking for what I call my park bench,

0:35:46.800 --> 0:35:49.400
<v Speaker 3>the person who makes me feel safe and the person

0:35:49.440 --> 0:35:52.520
<v Speaker 3>who I can sit next to talking a mile a

0:35:52.600 --> 0:35:56.520
<v Speaker 3>minute or quiet with a three dollars coffee in my hand,

0:35:56.880 --> 0:35:59.200
<v Speaker 3>looking at the birds. Happy is to be that there's

0:35:59.440 --> 0:36:02.280
<v Speaker 3>nowhere else they want to be. They need to be funny.

0:36:02.440 --> 0:36:05.920
<v Speaker 3>I have to laugh. I'm funny. I'm super self deprecating.

0:36:06.120 --> 0:36:08.560
<v Speaker 3>They need to be kind. They cannot have cheated on

0:36:08.600 --> 0:36:18.799
<v Speaker 3>their wives. That to me is a total deal breaker. Confident, sophisticated, intelligent,

0:36:19.560 --> 0:36:22.960
<v Speaker 3>fabulous father close to his family, talks politely about his

0:36:23.080 --> 0:36:23.600
<v Speaker 3>ex wife.

0:36:23.680 --> 0:36:26.080
<v Speaker 1>You're like a unicorn. Do you have one? Let me

0:36:26.120 --> 0:36:26.799
<v Speaker 1>pull it out them.

0:36:26.920 --> 0:36:29.399
<v Speaker 3>Let me taste. I was just in Sun Valley and

0:36:29.560 --> 0:36:31.640
<v Speaker 3>I walked into that. I always asked for signs from

0:36:31.640 --> 0:36:34.880
<v Speaker 3>the universe, and I said, Universe, show me a unicorn.

0:36:34.960 --> 0:36:37.319
<v Speaker 3>That twenty twenty five is going to be amazing. And

0:36:37.360 --> 0:36:39.719
<v Speaker 3>I walked into this vintage store and there was this

0:36:39.840 --> 0:36:44.200
<v Speaker 3>big grass unicorn and it was for sale and I

0:36:44.239 --> 0:36:46.040
<v Speaker 3>was like, oh my god. So I bought it. It should

0:36:46.040 --> 0:36:48.000
<v Speaker 3>be ribing any day this week. It's going to go

0:36:48.080 --> 0:36:50.520
<v Speaker 3>right on monnight table. But yes, I am looking for

0:36:50.600 --> 0:36:51.240
<v Speaker 3>a unicorn.

0:36:51.600 --> 0:36:53.960
<v Speaker 2>I started doing that everyone since I first met I

0:36:54.239 --> 0:36:55.400
<v Speaker 2>like write down in my notes.

0:36:55.480 --> 0:36:57.799
<v Speaker 1>I do like I'll ask for something.

0:36:57.520 --> 0:36:59.000
<v Speaker 3>And I'll ask could I teach you about this?

0:36:59.280 --> 0:36:59.400
<v Speaker 1>Yes?

0:36:59.480 --> 0:37:01.040
<v Speaker 2>You told me that, Yeah, And I've done it and

0:37:01.080 --> 0:37:03.520
<v Speaker 2>it's it's true, It's true.

0:37:03.719 --> 0:37:05.600
<v Speaker 3>It's true. My friends and you have to come up

0:37:05.600 --> 0:37:07.840
<v Speaker 3>with the most obscure signs. And my friend was like,

0:37:07.960 --> 0:37:11.560
<v Speaker 3>show me a mini mouse that my ex she's going

0:37:11.600 --> 0:37:14.080
<v Speaker 3>through divorce, my ex husband is thinking about me. And

0:37:14.160 --> 0:37:16.239
<v Speaker 3>everywhere she turned out of the blue, like a friend

0:37:16.280 --> 0:37:18.120
<v Speaker 3>of ours is sending a picture of her kids and

0:37:18.160 --> 0:37:20.440
<v Speaker 3>the kid was in mini mouse sweatpants. And my friend

0:37:20.560 --> 0:37:22.719
<v Speaker 3>was like, oh my god. And the more you do it,

0:37:22.800 --> 0:37:25.120
<v Speaker 3>the more in tune you are with the universe. It's like,

0:37:25.280 --> 0:37:27.359
<v Speaker 3>actually really fun. It's like a fun game.

0:37:27.760 --> 0:37:28.200
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:37:28.280 --> 0:37:30.440
<v Speaker 3>You don't feel like you're alone, which is cool.

0:37:30.480 --> 0:37:34.120
<v Speaker 2>Right, Okay, so you want a unicorn perfect park bench.

0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:39.160
<v Speaker 3>I want nice, honest, funny, confident. You know, I need somebody.

0:37:39.239 --> 0:37:40.960
<v Speaker 3>I don't need to be with somebody. I want to

0:37:40.960 --> 0:37:41.840
<v Speaker 3>be with the right person.

0:37:41.920 --> 0:37:42.120
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:37:42.160 --> 0:37:43.800
<v Speaker 3>So it's like, I don't need somebody to pay my bills.

0:37:43.840 --> 0:37:45.960
<v Speaker 3>I don't need somebody to pay my kids bills. I

0:37:45.960 --> 0:37:47.920
<v Speaker 3>don't need somebody to fill my dance card. I have

0:37:48.040 --> 0:37:50.719
<v Speaker 3>you know, I have friends, I have family here. I

0:37:50.760 --> 0:37:53.440
<v Speaker 3>love to stay home and read a book like it really,

0:37:54.200 --> 0:37:56.800
<v Speaker 3>you know, it's it's got to be totally added to

0:37:57.120 --> 0:37:58.520
<v Speaker 3>my life. Or it just doesn't.

0:37:58.560 --> 0:37:58.839
<v Speaker 1>I don't.

0:37:58.840 --> 0:38:00.879
<v Speaker 3>I'm not going to fit a square into a rand hole.

0:38:01.360 --> 0:38:03.040
<v Speaker 3>I'd rather be the right situation.

0:38:03.520 --> 0:38:06.560
<v Speaker 2>So I went out a date with this guy and

0:38:06.600 --> 0:38:10.160
<v Speaker 2>there was a matchmaker and she said to me, are

0:38:10.200 --> 0:38:12.839
<v Speaker 2>you too busy to date?

0:38:14.040 --> 0:38:15.120
<v Speaker 1>Are you too busy to date?

0:38:15.640 --> 0:38:18.360
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm actually not. And when I was turning fifty,

0:38:18.800 --> 0:38:22.680
<v Speaker 3>this was two years ago, I woke up on January first,

0:38:22.680 --> 0:38:25.080
<v Speaker 3>my birthdays in April, and I was like, this is

0:38:25.120 --> 0:38:26.880
<v Speaker 3>going to be my year. I'm going to treat it

0:38:26.920 --> 0:38:29.840
<v Speaker 3>like a job. And I was like, I'm going to

0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:31.279
<v Speaker 3>figure out a way to go on a date or

0:38:31.280 --> 0:38:34.799
<v Speaker 3>two a week. And I did it. And I don't

0:38:34.840 --> 0:38:37.960
<v Speaker 3>think I'm too busy. Like if the right situation presented itself,

0:38:38.400 --> 0:38:41.960
<v Speaker 3>my hurdle is I say yes day every day, right,

0:38:42.040 --> 0:38:44.240
<v Speaker 3>I mean one hundred percent. Like I love meeting people

0:38:44.320 --> 0:38:47.040
<v Speaker 3>talking to them like I can. I love to talk

0:38:47.080 --> 0:38:48.920
<v Speaker 3>to people and get to know people, whether they're my

0:38:48.960 --> 0:38:51.279
<v Speaker 3>person or not. A different story. I don't think I'm

0:38:51.280 --> 0:38:54.320
<v Speaker 3>too busy. I think I just need to put myself

0:38:54.360 --> 0:38:57.479
<v Speaker 3>into different situations to open up more avenues like date.

0:38:58.760 --> 0:39:01.680
<v Speaker 2>So okay, so we were looking for different avenues. Okay,

0:39:01.719 --> 0:39:04.799
<v Speaker 2>we talked about Luane or like waiter thing.

0:39:04.760 --> 0:39:06.759
<v Speaker 1>Which is that tip is amazing. It makes me laugh

0:39:06.800 --> 0:39:07.879
<v Speaker 1>so much. Oh my god, I'm dead.

0:39:08.160 --> 0:39:12.440
<v Speaker 2>But okay, so we're like, so outside of going to

0:39:12.480 --> 0:39:14.160
<v Speaker 2>bars and stuff like that, I.

0:39:14.160 --> 0:39:16.120
<v Speaker 3>Think we need to go to airports. We could sit

0:39:16.160 --> 0:39:18.959
<v Speaker 3>at airports. I think, you know, like we.

0:39:18.880 --> 0:39:20.839
<v Speaker 1>Should go with you.

0:39:21.320 --> 0:39:21.880
<v Speaker 2>I begued.

0:39:21.920 --> 0:39:24.279
<v Speaker 3>I could do like a fun little adventure where it's

0:39:24.320 --> 0:39:26.080
<v Speaker 3>like we just go. I think you should come to

0:39:26.160 --> 0:39:27.560
<v Speaker 3>La I go to New York. Then we go sit

0:39:27.600 --> 0:39:29.799
<v Speaker 3>at different airports, and we fly to Atlanta and sit

0:39:29.840 --> 0:39:32.560
<v Speaker 3>at a bar there at a hotel. Hotel bars are

0:39:32.600 --> 0:39:33.040
<v Speaker 3>the way to go.

0:39:33.239 --> 0:39:35.080
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you, wait, what about long distance? What

0:39:35.120 --> 0:39:36.200
<v Speaker 1>are your thoughts on long distance?

0:39:36.320 --> 0:39:38.520
<v Speaker 3>Oh god, okay, well I used to think it was great,

0:39:38.640 --> 0:39:42.239
<v Speaker 3>and then I was, you know, like I recently gone

0:39:42.280 --> 0:39:44.000
<v Speaker 3>out with a guy from San Francisco and he flew

0:39:44.080 --> 0:39:46.680
<v Speaker 3>down and I was like, Okay, that's that's fine. Hour whatever,

0:39:47.000 --> 0:39:50.080
<v Speaker 3>maybe two hours or whatever. But I would love to

0:39:50.160 --> 0:39:52.239
<v Speaker 3>date a guy in like New York on the East

0:39:52.239 --> 0:39:56.400
<v Speaker 3>Coast because quite frankly, you know, I would like to

0:39:57.160 --> 0:39:59.279
<v Speaker 3>I'd love to have the opportunity to live elsewhere for

0:39:59.360 --> 0:40:02.000
<v Speaker 3>chunks of time. I work full time here. Luckily I

0:40:02.040 --> 0:40:04.319
<v Speaker 3>have an assistant. I live in a situation which is

0:40:04.360 --> 0:40:08.440
<v Speaker 3>lock and leave. I'm totally okay with long distance. Genuinely,

0:40:08.480 --> 0:40:09.799
<v Speaker 3>I think it would be fun to live in New

0:40:09.840 --> 0:40:11.799
<v Speaker 3>York for a month and then fun to have him

0:40:11.840 --> 0:40:14.040
<v Speaker 3>be here for a month. My kids are, you know, gone,

0:40:14.040 --> 0:40:16.520
<v Speaker 3>They're in college, one's about to graduate, one's a sophomore.

0:40:17.160 --> 0:40:19.480
<v Speaker 3>Who knows where one's gonna be in Nashville, Like, who knows?

0:40:19.640 --> 0:40:21.960
<v Speaker 3>So I would totally do long distance. And I actually

0:40:22.000 --> 0:40:27.400
<v Speaker 3>think I would love to spend time in a different city,

0:40:27.640 --> 0:40:30.640
<v Speaker 3>meeting new people, doing I grew up in La I

0:40:30.680 --> 0:40:33.239
<v Speaker 3>know it. I'm done with it. What about you?

0:40:33.480 --> 0:40:36.640
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'm open to anything now because again, like

0:40:36.960 --> 0:40:39.640
<v Speaker 2>you and I are similar where our kids are older,

0:40:39.800 --> 0:40:43.239
<v Speaker 2>and I'm just open to every I mean, I have to,

0:40:43.880 --> 0:40:46.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, I have to actually move because I am

0:40:47.040 --> 0:40:49.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm you know, I'm one of my clients. I'm living

0:40:49.719 --> 0:40:51.839
<v Speaker 2>in his apartment. I'm renting his apartment and he wants

0:40:51.880 --> 0:40:53.440
<v Speaker 2>to sell it. And I'm like, okay, now I have

0:40:53.520 --> 0:40:57.279
<v Speaker 2>to like get up and move. And I could just

0:40:57.440 --> 0:40:59.920
<v Speaker 2>do anything and go anywhere. And I mean I was

0:41:00.000 --> 0:41:02.680
<v Speaker 2>even thinking like I know this sounds not that far,

0:41:02.760 --> 0:41:04.719
<v Speaker 2>but I was like, maybe I'll even move uptown. I've

0:41:04.719 --> 0:41:07.520
<v Speaker 2>never lived uptown before, or I could literally just do

0:41:07.560 --> 0:41:10.839
<v Speaker 2>anything I want. I mean, it'll probably be difficult for

0:41:10.880 --> 0:41:13.000
<v Speaker 2>me to leave my kids, to like leave the state,

0:41:13.960 --> 0:41:15.440
<v Speaker 2>but like, I mean, even I was thinking maybe I

0:41:15.480 --> 0:41:17.120
<v Speaker 2>should have moved to Florida, or maybe I should go

0:41:17.160 --> 0:41:19.360
<v Speaker 2>to Texas for a little bit. I had work in Texas,

0:41:19.440 --> 0:41:23.000
<v Speaker 2>and so I'm just I'm I've never been open to

0:41:23.480 --> 0:41:25.719
<v Speaker 2>moving or being away from my kids, even though they

0:41:25.719 --> 0:41:26.400
<v Speaker 2>were in college.

0:41:26.440 --> 0:41:28.399
<v Speaker 1>I was like, they have to have a family home.

0:41:28.680 --> 0:41:31.120
<v Speaker 2>They have to have structure, they have to have comfort,

0:41:31.239 --> 0:41:34.080
<v Speaker 2>they have to know that I'm you know, reliable and

0:41:34.120 --> 0:41:36.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm there for them all the time. But now they're

0:41:36.719 --> 0:41:41.319
<v Speaker 2>just being nice to me because like mom, we're sad.

0:41:41.360 --> 0:41:42.440
<v Speaker 1>We don't want you to be sad.

0:41:43.000 --> 0:41:44.719
<v Speaker 3>Well, like me, I think they worry about me, so

0:41:44.800 --> 0:41:48.320
<v Speaker 3>I awful. I always saw my kids home is the people,

0:41:48.400 --> 0:41:50.440
<v Speaker 3>not the structure. So I think that they've never been

0:41:50.480 --> 0:41:53.360
<v Speaker 3>attached to an actual place. It's more about the people,

0:41:53.880 --> 0:41:56.080
<v Speaker 3>which which is great. I think that do you remember

0:41:56.120 --> 0:41:58.080
<v Speaker 3>the movie because you and I think are similar age

0:41:58.120 --> 0:42:02.120
<v Speaker 3>remember the movie Sliding doors of Paltrow. Oh, Kelly, you've

0:42:02.120 --> 0:42:02.880
<v Speaker 3>got to watch them.

0:42:02.880 --> 0:42:04.120
<v Speaker 1>Wait, who else is in?

0:42:04.280 --> 0:42:07.640
<v Speaker 3>It's Gwyneth Paltrow, some British actor. But the point of

0:42:07.719 --> 0:42:10.200
<v Speaker 3>the movie is, which is how I'm choosing to look

0:42:10.200 --> 0:42:15.759
<v Speaker 3>at my life now is sliding doors right and Back

0:42:15.760 --> 0:42:18.320
<v Speaker 3>in the day, I used to probably make more impulsive decisions,

0:42:18.360 --> 0:42:20.759
<v Speaker 3>not looking at the entire chessboard, saying well, if I

0:42:20.880 --> 0:42:24.600
<v Speaker 3>do this and I For example, when I was graduating college,

0:42:24.880 --> 0:42:27.040
<v Speaker 3>I went to Berkeley. I had this big plan. I

0:42:27.080 --> 0:42:29.560
<v Speaker 3>wanted to spend the first five years post college and

0:42:29.600 --> 0:42:33.720
<v Speaker 3>I wanted to live one year each in a different

0:42:33.800 --> 0:42:36.920
<v Speaker 3>five cities. Choose five cities, New York, London, Dallas, whatever

0:42:36.960 --> 0:42:39.080
<v Speaker 3>it was, because I was like, if I came straight

0:42:39.120 --> 0:42:40.680
<v Speaker 3>back to LA, I knew I was going to never

0:42:40.760 --> 0:42:43.240
<v Speaker 3>leave right, and I really wanted to drink their coffee.

0:42:43.239 --> 0:42:45.719
<v Speaker 3>I had no idea what I wanted to do. So

0:42:46.200 --> 0:42:48.560
<v Speaker 3>I got a job in New York and I was

0:42:48.560 --> 0:42:52.040
<v Speaker 3>supposed to start in August of ninety four in an

0:42:52.160 --> 0:42:55.480
<v Speaker 3>entertainment company, and I came home at such an idiot.

0:42:55.680 --> 0:42:57.840
<v Speaker 3>I came home that summer to LA and I like

0:42:58.080 --> 0:42:59.799
<v Speaker 3>met a guy and was like, oh, I'm not going

0:42:59.840 --> 0:43:02.080
<v Speaker 3>to this is my guy, Like, I'm not moving to

0:43:02.080 --> 0:43:03.839
<v Speaker 3>New York and I never did and it's the single

0:43:03.880 --> 0:43:06.440
<v Speaker 3>biggest regret in my life. And you look at it

0:43:06.480 --> 0:43:09.399
<v Speaker 3>like that was the sliding door, right, So to our

0:43:09.840 --> 0:43:12.919
<v Speaker 3>kind of twenty twenty five philosophy of just say yes

0:43:13.480 --> 0:43:15.760
<v Speaker 3>in a way, if we're just saying yes to opportunities,

0:43:16.040 --> 0:43:18.319
<v Speaker 3>those are our sliding doors. So for all you know,

0:43:18.480 --> 0:43:20.399
<v Speaker 3>Amy and Heather want to set you up with ten

0:43:20.440 --> 0:43:23.279
<v Speaker 3>and as guy who's la, you guys get hit You

0:43:23.320 --> 0:43:26.560
<v Speaker 3>said yes, you could hit it off. All of a sudden,

0:43:26.760 --> 0:43:29.439
<v Speaker 3>you're not locked into, you know, a mortgage in New York.

0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:32.960
<v Speaker 3>You could be living in La. You have no idea.

0:43:33.480 --> 0:43:36.319
<v Speaker 3>These are sliding doors. Every day we have sliding doors

0:43:36.360 --> 0:43:37.880
<v Speaker 3>that are presented to us and we have to decide,

0:43:37.920 --> 0:43:40.640
<v Speaker 3>like which door are we going in or not going in?

0:43:40.719 --> 0:43:47.200
<v Speaker 3>And what is that gonna domino effect?

0:43:53.320 --> 0:43:56.280
<v Speaker 1>What about like making new friends?

0:43:56.400 --> 0:44:00.279
<v Speaker 2>So we've talked about dating apps, we've talked about we're

0:44:00.280 --> 0:44:03.120
<v Speaker 2>gonna do together, but what literally what about like it's

0:44:03.160 --> 0:44:05.440
<v Speaker 2>so hard to meet Like I'm so happy to meet

0:44:05.520 --> 0:44:09.320
<v Speaker 2>you just because you know, you're you're smart, you're interesting,

0:44:09.440 --> 0:44:13.040
<v Speaker 2>you're engaging, you're insightful, like you just you you think

0:44:13.680 --> 0:44:16.360
<v Speaker 2>differently a little bit, a little differently than than me,

0:44:16.480 --> 0:44:19.520
<v Speaker 2>but we were we're in the same scope of possibility

0:44:19.560 --> 0:44:22.680
<v Speaker 2>in our thought process, which I love about you. But like,

0:44:23.360 --> 0:44:26.600
<v Speaker 2>if I didn't know Amy, I wouldn't know you. So how,

0:44:27.120 --> 0:44:29.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, how do you meet other friends that are

0:44:29.680 --> 0:44:31.839
<v Speaker 2>interested in the same things when they're when you don't

0:44:31.920 --> 0:44:33.520
<v Speaker 2>Like when we're younger, we have all these you know,

0:44:33.719 --> 0:44:35.640
<v Speaker 2>the play groups and the parents, and like you meet

0:44:35.680 --> 0:44:38.640
<v Speaker 2>all these people and you're like the common denominators your kids.

0:44:38.680 --> 0:44:40.920
<v Speaker 2>But now it's like I don't have a common denominator.

0:44:40.960 --> 0:44:43.600
<v Speaker 2>Or if I meet someone, they're like, oh, you're single,

0:44:43.840 --> 0:44:44.359
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like.

0:44:44.719 --> 0:44:47.759
<v Speaker 1>Well, yeah, I'm single. They're like, oh, Like it's like

0:44:47.800 --> 0:44:48.359
<v Speaker 1>a bad thing.

0:44:49.520 --> 0:44:51.920
<v Speaker 3>Like you know, it's funny. I haven't had to be

0:44:52.000 --> 0:44:56.279
<v Speaker 3>honest with you people. I don't I haven't had that.

0:44:56.560 --> 0:44:59.839
<v Speaker 3>I haven't had that experience with which I I love

0:45:00.120 --> 0:45:03.040
<v Speaker 3>my girlfriends so much, and I have such a great

0:45:03.280 --> 0:45:07.319
<v Speaker 3>kind of posse of friends and I just love I

0:45:07.320 --> 0:45:10.319
<v Speaker 3>don't know, like I actually love collecting amazing friends. I

0:45:10.320 --> 0:45:13.359
<v Speaker 3>will tell you that new friendships. I'm a very open

0:45:13.400 --> 0:45:16.719
<v Speaker 3>a new friendship and I'm really look, I might not

0:45:16.800 --> 0:45:18.879
<v Speaker 3>be a lot of things right, but I know I'm

0:45:18.920 --> 0:45:22.319
<v Speaker 3>a really good friend and I'm really loyal and I'm

0:45:22.560 --> 0:45:27.160
<v Speaker 3>super like dependable, like I love my friend. I'm a giver,

0:45:27.360 --> 0:45:30.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm not a taker. So for me, making friends has

0:45:30.320 --> 0:45:32.120
<v Speaker 3>never been a challenge for me. I've had you know,

0:45:32.160 --> 0:45:34.760
<v Speaker 3>friends since I was you know, like two years old.

0:45:35.280 --> 0:45:38.399
<v Speaker 3>I have a hard time being more connectable to men,

0:45:38.719 --> 0:45:39.720
<v Speaker 3>to be honest with you.

0:45:40.120 --> 0:45:42.520
<v Speaker 4>And so for me, like I meet you, I goes

0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:44.840
<v Speaker 4>back to me asking you like if you're too busy

0:45:45.000 --> 0:45:47.600
<v Speaker 4>and maybe that's so, maybe it's not maybe maybe I

0:45:47.640 --> 0:45:50.960
<v Speaker 4>have to rephrase the question, like because it's.

0:45:50.840 --> 0:45:53.160
<v Speaker 1>You know, just from you know, listening.

0:45:52.920 --> 0:45:57.520
<v Speaker 2>To you, you obviously are so proficient in so many

0:45:57.560 --> 0:46:01.200
<v Speaker 2>things you know you are, You're like perfect in so

0:46:01.280 --> 0:46:03.200
<v Speaker 2>many ways you are.

0:46:03.440 --> 0:46:05.680
<v Speaker 1>But does that what? What? But what about for men?

0:46:05.840 --> 0:46:09.840
<v Speaker 2>Like how how do they how do they come into

0:46:10.000 --> 0:46:13.280
<v Speaker 2>into play? Like you know what void can they feel

0:46:13.360 --> 0:46:17.200
<v Speaker 2>for you outside of being your your you know, you

0:46:17.280 --> 0:46:21.239
<v Speaker 2>said you like your park bench, but there they have

0:46:21.360 --> 0:46:23.279
<v Speaker 2>to be They need more than that than to just

0:46:23.360 --> 0:46:26.680
<v Speaker 2>be your park bench. They need to feel wanted and needed.

0:46:26.719 --> 0:46:29.120
<v Speaker 2>And if you have, if you're this, you know.

0:46:29.760 --> 0:46:32.840
<v Speaker 3>I think you're right, Kelly. I think that's my You're beautiful.

0:46:33.040 --> 0:46:36.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm super self sufficient. I'm super self sufficient, and I

0:46:36.920 --> 0:46:40.600
<v Speaker 3>think that for a lot of men, you know, probably

0:46:40.600 --> 0:46:43.200
<v Speaker 3>similar with you, Like you know, you've kind of done

0:46:43.239 --> 0:46:43.560
<v Speaker 3>it on.

0:46:43.520 --> 0:46:48.640
<v Speaker 2>Your self sufficient, but you're also really really beautiful. So

0:46:48.680 --> 0:46:51.480
<v Speaker 2>it's like a lot of women are self sufficient, but

0:46:51.560 --> 0:46:53.960
<v Speaker 2>they're not so beautiful. So it's like they are more

0:46:54.040 --> 0:46:56.480
<v Speaker 2>maybe they're more insecure because they're they're not you know,

0:46:56.560 --> 0:46:58.719
<v Speaker 2>they're not they don't look like you. I mean probably

0:46:58.760 --> 0:47:00.040
<v Speaker 2>walk down the street and guys.

0:46:59.800 --> 0:47:02.600
<v Speaker 1>Like, holy sug, who's that? Thank you?

0:47:02.719 --> 0:47:05.520
<v Speaker 2>So how do they but no, just I'm asking, like, so,

0:47:05.640 --> 0:47:11.440
<v Speaker 2>how like what can you do to be more open,

0:47:11.600 --> 0:47:14.480
<v Speaker 2>like you said the grave, be more open to allowing

0:47:14.560 --> 0:47:15.280
<v Speaker 2>these men.

0:47:15.160 --> 0:47:17.680
<v Speaker 1>To see like who you are too. I mean that's

0:47:17.680 --> 0:47:18.439
<v Speaker 1>what I've been doing.

0:47:18.640 --> 0:47:24.359
<v Speaker 3>I need to be a little more dependent, not independent.

0:47:25.800 --> 0:47:30.520
<v Speaker 3>I need to learn to be a little softer. I

0:47:30.520 --> 0:47:32.640
<v Speaker 3>think I need to learn to ask for help more.

0:47:33.840 --> 0:47:37.239
<v Speaker 3>I think I need to. You know, when I'm on

0:47:37.280 --> 0:47:39.200
<v Speaker 3>a date, I tend to ask a lot of questions

0:47:39.239 --> 0:47:42.759
<v Speaker 3>and deflect the off of me. And sometimes when I

0:47:42.880 --> 0:47:44.600
<v Speaker 3>go on a date, now I like sit down my hands,

0:47:44.640 --> 0:47:47.840
<v Speaker 3>you know, like Louise, stop asking so many questions, like

0:47:47.920 --> 0:47:49.440
<v Speaker 3>let them ask you. You know what I'm saying, Like,

0:47:49.440 --> 0:47:51.160
<v Speaker 3>I think it's just a default, right, it comes from

0:47:51.160 --> 0:47:53.080
<v Speaker 3>stuff in my in my childhood.

0:47:53.160 --> 0:47:56.360
<v Speaker 2>I think it's also genuinely like because you're really smart,

0:47:56.560 --> 0:47:58.880
<v Speaker 2>so you're like asking questions and you probably know the

0:47:58.920 --> 0:48:01.200
<v Speaker 2>answer to most of the questions that you're asking.

0:48:01.360 --> 0:48:04.920
<v Speaker 1>Which is there's nothing that's amazing, by the way, But.

0:48:05.080 --> 0:48:07.319
<v Speaker 2>One thing that I've learned in the past couple of

0:48:07.360 --> 0:48:12.240
<v Speaker 2>months is not and people are calling it trauma bond,

0:48:12.880 --> 0:48:13.680
<v Speaker 2>but I don't think.

0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:14.799
<v Speaker 1>I don't like trauma bond.

0:48:15.120 --> 0:48:18.040
<v Speaker 2>Like I don't need to say to you, I got

0:48:18.040 --> 0:48:20.799
<v Speaker 2>divorced and my ex husband did this, and I've been

0:48:20.840 --> 0:48:22.600
<v Speaker 2>doing all these things and my life is so bad.

0:48:22.640 --> 0:48:25.239
<v Speaker 2>How bad is your life? Like that's not how I

0:48:25.239 --> 0:48:27.440
<v Speaker 2>want to connect with you. I want to connect with

0:48:27.520 --> 0:48:31.319
<v Speaker 2>you in ways like I know who you are, I

0:48:31.360 --> 0:48:32.479
<v Speaker 2>know who your friends are.

0:48:32.960 --> 0:48:34.960
<v Speaker 1>Let's talk about like you know.

0:48:35.000 --> 0:48:38.719
<v Speaker 2>Solutions, tricks, fun things to do together, but at the

0:48:38.800 --> 0:48:41.480
<v Speaker 2>end of the day, like the solutions that are that

0:48:41.560 --> 0:48:44.640
<v Speaker 2>we are coming to at this time of our life,

0:48:44.719 --> 0:48:47.600
<v Speaker 2>Like that's really really what's super important to me, and

0:48:47.960 --> 0:48:52.000
<v Speaker 2>this podcast has been so crucial because it's opened me

0:48:52.120 --> 0:48:56.120
<v Speaker 2>up to again like listening to be vulnerable.

0:48:56.080 --> 0:49:01.400
<v Speaker 1>To before my fear, I had so much fear, but

0:49:01.719 --> 0:49:05.360
<v Speaker 1>the way that it was projected was like this over

0:49:05.440 --> 0:49:07.799
<v Speaker 1>self confidence, which was the opposite.

0:49:07.960 --> 0:49:10.880
<v Speaker 3>I was literally like crawling inside you and I are

0:49:10.920 --> 0:49:11.480
<v Speaker 3>the same person.

0:49:11.719 --> 0:49:14.239
<v Speaker 2>I'd be grinding my teeth at night. My dentist is like,

0:49:15.560 --> 0:49:17.520
<v Speaker 2>what are you doing. I'm like, I don't know. She's like,

0:49:17.560 --> 0:49:21.000
<v Speaker 2>you're grinding. You're literally grinding your teeth down. I'm like,

0:49:21.640 --> 0:49:23.080
<v Speaker 2>because I'm like a nervous wreck.

0:49:23.440 --> 0:49:25.680
<v Speaker 3>That's me. That's me too. And you and I are

0:49:25.719 --> 0:49:27.719
<v Speaker 3>super super I'm just like the blonde version of you.

0:49:27.840 --> 0:49:29.640
<v Speaker 3>We're super super similar. And I think we have the

0:49:29.640 --> 0:49:32.120
<v Speaker 3>same lessons to learn, and I think that we're learning

0:49:32.120 --> 0:49:34.120
<v Speaker 3>them every day and we're going to be presented with

0:49:34.200 --> 0:49:36.680
<v Speaker 3>different people to teach us those lessons. Right, Like every

0:49:36.719 --> 0:49:39.800
<v Speaker 3>relationship I have has taught me something more about myself

0:49:39.880 --> 0:49:41.680
<v Speaker 3>or made me be more vulnerable.

0:49:42.080 --> 0:49:44.320
<v Speaker 2>I have something. So now we have a second challenge. Okay,

0:49:44.360 --> 0:49:46.360
<v Speaker 2>so the first challenge is like what we're going to

0:49:46.440 --> 0:49:48.359
<v Speaker 2>do for something that's fun to meet new.

0:49:48.280 --> 0:49:51.360
<v Speaker 1>People, which I love that, but why don't What about

0:49:51.360 --> 0:49:52.280
<v Speaker 1>our second challenge?

0:49:52.280 --> 0:49:55.319
<v Speaker 2>Could be something that's we did something this week that

0:49:55.480 --> 0:50:00.520
<v Speaker 2>made it extremely vulnerable, like in a super a super

0:50:00.560 --> 0:50:01.400
<v Speaker 2>awkward position.

0:50:01.960 --> 0:50:03.600
<v Speaker 1>I want to I want to do that. Okay, so

0:50:03.880 --> 0:50:05.360
<v Speaker 1>what are your ideas? What are your ideas?

0:50:07.560 --> 0:50:11.719
<v Speaker 3>I need to I need to think about it. I uh,

0:50:11.880 --> 0:50:14.520
<v Speaker 3>I see my kids are here one more week and

0:50:14.520 --> 0:50:16.759
<v Speaker 3>then they're leaving on Sunday. So I've kind of because

0:50:16.760 --> 0:50:18.359
<v Speaker 3>they just got back from being gone with their dad

0:50:18.400 --> 0:50:20.480
<v Speaker 3>for two weeks. So like my whole week is like it.

0:50:20.640 --> 0:50:21.799
<v Speaker 3>I just want to focus on that.

0:50:21.920 --> 0:50:23.160
<v Speaker 1>It could be like a ten minute thing.

0:50:23.200 --> 0:50:26.399
<v Speaker 2>It's not like it's no yeah, like on your way

0:50:26.440 --> 0:50:29.759
<v Speaker 2>to yoga or something like something I don't know, just

0:50:29.800 --> 0:50:31.760
<v Speaker 2>something that would put you in a vulnerable position.

0:50:32.080 --> 0:50:33.600
<v Speaker 3>There was a guy I'm dangerous.

0:50:33.719 --> 0:50:34.759
<v Speaker 1>I'm not asking you to.

0:50:34.760 --> 0:50:37.840
<v Speaker 3>Like no, no, no, no no no no no no. I

0:50:37.880 --> 0:50:39.960
<v Speaker 3>had dated a really nice guy and we broke up

0:50:39.960 --> 0:50:42.520
<v Speaker 3>in October and he was a good guy, and I'm like,

0:50:42.600 --> 0:50:44.440
<v Speaker 3>part of me is like did I got? But he

0:50:44.480 --> 0:50:47.880
<v Speaker 3>was a really good guy and he had texted me

0:50:47.920 --> 0:50:50.360
<v Speaker 3>over Christmas and he's like, let's have dinner in January

0:50:50.400 --> 0:50:52.319
<v Speaker 3>and I was like, yeah, totally. I think I'll reach out.

0:50:52.440 --> 0:50:54.040
<v Speaker 3>I'll reach out to this week and see if he

0:50:54.080 --> 0:50:54.480
<v Speaker 3>wants to.

0:50:54.440 --> 0:50:56.359
<v Speaker 1>Have dinner or you don't have to have dinner. Why

0:50:56.360 --> 0:50:58.319
<v Speaker 1>can't you just go for a coffee or.

0:50:58.320 --> 0:50:59.320
<v Speaker 3>A drink or a coffee.

0:50:59.320 --> 0:51:01.680
<v Speaker 1>But like I think, I, yeah, just have a coffee.

0:51:01.800 --> 0:51:03.520
<v Speaker 1>And by the way, yeah, don't don't to the dinner.

0:51:03.760 --> 0:51:04.520
<v Speaker 1>Don't to the dinner.

0:51:05.280 --> 0:51:09.360
<v Speaker 2>Oh so one of my producers, she told the Starbucks

0:51:09.400 --> 0:51:10.800
<v Speaker 2>barista about her breakup.

0:51:10.880 --> 0:51:13.600
<v Speaker 1>So like, it's okay to you know, be.

0:51:13.719 --> 0:51:18.680
<v Speaker 2>Open, and I think it's interesting, listen whatever happens with

0:51:18.760 --> 0:51:23.440
<v Speaker 2>this guy. I think it's good to also have conversations.

0:51:23.520 --> 0:51:27.239
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm the kind of person I'm so black and white.

0:51:27.239 --> 0:51:29.560
<v Speaker 2>And maybe that's because I'm like I'm a super mom.

0:51:29.840 --> 0:51:32.279
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna protect my family. I can do it all.

0:51:32.920 --> 0:51:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Here's my cape. And so what I do is I'm like,

0:51:36.040 --> 0:51:39.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't like what you do. I'm like, you're done,

0:51:39.160 --> 0:51:41.520
<v Speaker 2>and I just I just remove you.

0:51:41.880 --> 0:51:45.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh, you and I are so similar. Do you look

0:51:45.520 --> 0:51:46.399
<v Speaker 3>back in the rear view.

0:51:46.440 --> 0:51:48.359
<v Speaker 2>If I see someone, if I see you in the stail, like, Hi,

0:51:48.880 --> 0:51:50.839
<v Speaker 2>I have zero interested in calling you.

0:51:50.960 --> 0:51:53.160
<v Speaker 1>I have zero. They're like, oh yeah, you're gonna call me,

0:51:53.200 --> 0:51:53.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, no.

0:51:54.360 --> 0:51:57.760
<v Speaker 3>So it, Kelly. If somebody crosses you, are you black

0:51:57.760 --> 0:52:00.640
<v Speaker 3>and white? Whereas you just kind of look back.

0:52:01.600 --> 0:52:04.319
<v Speaker 2>If I'm dating you and you did do things that

0:52:04.640 --> 0:52:07.799
<v Speaker 2>really like put me in a position that makes me

0:52:08.280 --> 0:52:11.960
<v Speaker 2>super vulnerable and afraid, I'm like we're done, like finished,

0:52:12.440 --> 0:52:15.200
<v Speaker 2>or if you put me in a situation where like trust,

0:52:15.760 --> 0:52:18.439
<v Speaker 2>you know, trust in this new part of my new

0:52:18.480 --> 0:52:23.799
<v Speaker 2>world is like paramount to anything everything, And so if

0:52:23.840 --> 0:52:26.200
<v Speaker 2>I can't trust you, or if I can't you know,

0:52:26.280 --> 0:52:28.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I'm an action speak louder in the words,

0:52:28.640 --> 0:52:30.560
<v Speaker 2>like a lot of people are like YadA, YadA, YadA,

0:52:30.680 --> 0:52:35.240
<v Speaker 2>and so I just want to be able to trust people.

0:52:35.440 --> 0:52:38.880
<v Speaker 2>And I just think it's great and I want to

0:52:38.880 --> 0:52:41.080
<v Speaker 2>hear what I want to hear what happens, because if

0:52:41.080 --> 0:52:45.279
<v Speaker 2>that happens, I want to hear what happens after you guys.

0:52:45.280 --> 0:52:47.040
<v Speaker 3>After you guys talk, I'll do that, you know. And

0:52:47.080 --> 0:52:48.760
<v Speaker 3>it's funny, I'm the same way with you with trust,

0:52:48.800 --> 0:52:51.080
<v Speaker 3>Like trust is like a piece of paper. Once it's

0:52:51.160 --> 0:52:53.040
<v Speaker 3>ripped or torn, you can glue and tape it, but

0:52:53.080 --> 0:52:55.359
<v Speaker 3>the schism is always there. And I think that when

0:52:55.400 --> 0:52:58.560
<v Speaker 3>somebody blows your trust or crosses you in a way

0:52:58.760 --> 0:53:00.239
<v Speaker 3>like there's just no going back for me.

0:53:00.360 --> 0:53:03.160
<v Speaker 1>In the spirit of your driftwood. It's like painting over

0:53:03.480 --> 0:53:04.280
<v Speaker 1>rotten lumber.

0:53:04.360 --> 0:53:07.280
<v Speaker 3>Yes, well, driftwood, you're my driftwood. Tennis and your driftwood.

0:53:07.520 --> 0:53:11.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm so excited. Seriously, we have so many like texting

0:53:11.200 --> 0:53:12.600
<v Speaker 3>things that we've got it. And when are you going

0:53:12.680 --> 0:53:13.840
<v Speaker 3>to come to la will you might.

0:53:13.680 --> 0:53:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Be hopefully soon, hopefully soon visiting.

0:53:16.880 --> 0:53:18.759
<v Speaker 3>Tennis and then he's going to hunt you to me

0:53:18.880 --> 0:53:20.640
<v Speaker 3>for an hour or we can all go to dinner,

0:53:20.719 --> 0:53:22.040
<v Speaker 3>I know, remember.

0:53:23.320 --> 0:53:26.480
<v Speaker 2>Louise, Oh my god, thank you so so so much. Okay,

0:53:26.520 --> 0:53:29.760
<v Speaker 2>so we know what our marching orders are. Yes, something

0:53:29.840 --> 0:53:32.040
<v Speaker 2>vulnerable and something really fun.

0:53:32.440 --> 0:53:37.000
<v Speaker 3>Something vulnerable and something risky with like the Countess Luerns,

0:53:37.040 --> 0:53:38.879
<v Speaker 3>like taking a play out of her playbook. And don't

0:53:38.920 --> 0:53:43.120
<v Speaker 3>forget the going to a restaurant or a bar thirty

0:53:43.160 --> 0:53:45.840
<v Speaker 3>minutes before your girl's dinner, because you can accomplish something

0:53:45.880 --> 0:53:47.399
<v Speaker 3>there in a safe kind of time.

0:53:47.440 --> 0:53:47.640
<v Speaker 1>Brame.

0:53:47.880 --> 0:53:49.960
<v Speaker 2>But by the way, I'm actually going to do the

0:53:50.000 --> 0:53:52.000
<v Speaker 2>same thing that you're doing. And I'm gonna write myself

0:53:52.000 --> 0:53:55.799
<v Speaker 2>a little note and I'm gonna take a photo. Yeah,

0:53:55.840 --> 0:53:59.360
<v Speaker 2>I want to write two notes tomorrow tonight, tomorrow to

0:53:59.360 --> 0:54:01.600
<v Speaker 2>when I'm out about whoever I am.

0:54:02.040 --> 0:54:03.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna be like, can you give this that person?

0:54:03.719 --> 0:54:06.359
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, let's do let's challenge ourselves because guess what we doing?

0:54:07.920 --> 0:54:09.080
<v Speaker 3>Great stuff comes back and.

0:54:09.120 --> 0:54:11.640
<v Speaker 1>Return You're like, should she drop something?

0:54:12.160 --> 0:54:15.399
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, you are so much fun. I love

0:54:15.600 --> 0:54:19.440
<v Speaker 3>talking about meeting new friends and people that you know

0:54:19.480 --> 0:54:21.440
<v Speaker 3>when you meet somebody in your life and they're aligned

0:54:21.520 --> 0:54:23.520
<v Speaker 3>with kind of your core values and where you are,

0:54:23.760 --> 0:54:26.960
<v Speaker 3>know you, well, you're that's you. You're my girl, You're new,

0:54:27.000 --> 0:54:32.200
<v Speaker 3>You're my new twenty twenty five friend. I'm good, Louise.

0:54:32.239 --> 0:54:34.280
<v Speaker 2>It was so great getting to chat with you today

0:54:34.320 --> 0:54:37.160
<v Speaker 2>on the pod. You have such great insight, and it's

0:54:37.200 --> 0:54:39.520
<v Speaker 2>been so cool to meet someone who's going through a

0:54:39.520 --> 0:54:40.680
<v Speaker 2>similar journey as me.

0:54:41.680 --> 0:54:43.000
<v Speaker 1>Do you want dating advice?

0:54:43.480 --> 0:54:46.879
<v Speaker 2>Call us or email us, follow us on socials. All

0:54:46.920 --> 0:54:48.839
<v Speaker 2>the information will be in the show notes, and make

0:54:48.880 --> 0:54:52.720
<v Speaker 2>sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part

0:54:52.760 --> 0:54:57.839
<v Speaker 2>two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the

0:54:57.840 --> 0:54:58.880
<v Speaker 2>main objective.

0:55:00.360 --> 0:55:03.879
<v Speaker 3>EXTI EXTI fou