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Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two.

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Speaker 2: It's Kelly ben Simone, one of your celebrity mentors here

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Speaker 2: on the pod. On the podcast, I've been having a

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Speaker 2: blast getting to know my fellow mentors and getting to

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Speaker 2: know everyone's personal journeys to finding love. Today, I wanted

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Speaker 2: to bring in one half of our favorite deo on

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Speaker 2: this show, Louise from Thelma Louise, to talk about dating

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Speaker 2: in the new year.

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Speaker 3: Hi Louise, Hi Kelly, thanks for having me.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm so excited to talk to you.

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Speaker 2: How's everything.

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Speaker 3: Everything is good? I mean, it's the new year, so

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Speaker 3: just waiting for all those you know, uniforms and rainbows

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Speaker 3: to drop out of the sky. Right, it's a fresh late.

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Speaker 2: So let's get into it. So we're going to talk

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Speaker 2: about our love journey. We both have really interesting love durings. Actually,

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Speaker 2: let's start with yours. Tell me a little bit about

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Speaker 2: who you are and how you fell in and out

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Speaker 2: of love.

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Speaker 3: Sure, I am. I live in Los Angeles and I

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Speaker 3: was hit by a lightning bolt. When I met my husband,

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Speaker 3: I knew I was going to marry him. I called

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Speaker 3: my mom up and I said I met my husband,

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Speaker 3: and she goes you're crazy to go to sleep, You've

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Speaker 3: had too much to drink. That was the height of

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Speaker 3: sex in the city. So I had those you know whatever,

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Speaker 3: apple martinis. But I will tell you every time I've

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Speaker 3: ended up dating somebody long term, there's always been some

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Speaker 3: sort of a weird twist. So now I know, if

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Speaker 3: I meet somebody and there's no like twist or weirdness

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Speaker 3: or something, it's not my guy. We're married to fourteen years.

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Speaker 3: He has a fabulous moral compass. I think ultimately we

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Speaker 3: were probably better office friends because we're both killers quite frankly,

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Speaker 3: dad fabulous co parent, and we do a lot together

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Speaker 3: as a family, and I get the best parts of

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Speaker 3: him and none of the bad parts. So it's like

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm winning.

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Speaker 1: Do you guys travel together? Yes?

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Speaker 3: And with his fiance, I mean we travel. Yes, it's

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Speaker 3: like you're away with that. Yes, it's the greatest situation

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Speaker 3: in the world. He's with all the kids and she

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Speaker 3: and I are having cocktails, laughing all day long. We

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Speaker 3: do holidays like it's amazing. Seriously, my youngest kids. When

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Speaker 3: my youngest kid left for college, he said to me, Mom,

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Speaker 3: I just want to tell you something I like. I

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Speaker 3: don't have any baggage, emotional baggage. I go white. Is

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Speaker 3: you guys did divorce? Amazing?

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Speaker 1: I love that? Oh, I love that? What about you? So?

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Speaker 2: I was married very young to a photographer and I

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Speaker 2: have two gorgeous girls. We got divorced when my girls

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Speaker 2: were young. I just he wasn't the right for the

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Speaker 2: right job, and I just was having like so much anxiety.

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Speaker 2: After I had both of my kids, I had really

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Speaker 2: bad postpartum with my first daughter, and I just genuinely

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Speaker 2: realized that, you know, he was fun. You know, as

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Speaker 2: a artist and creative, he's incredible, but as a nurturer

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Speaker 2: and provider and partner.

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Speaker 1: He wasn't.

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Speaker 2: And I just was having so much anxiety. And I

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Speaker 2: just got pregnant again. And then the minute I got

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Speaker 2: pregnant again, I was like, we're done. I just couldn't

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Speaker 2: do it. I just couldn't handle it. And my interestingly enough,

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Speaker 2: my post pardon was really bad with my first but

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Speaker 2: then for my second, I had no part partum and

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Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, the baby's out. I had these

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Speaker 2: two good, beautiful, gourg girls. It's time for me to

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Speaker 2: go into my new life. I don't know how this

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Speaker 2: is gonna work, but I'm gonna try.

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Speaker 3: Didn't you kind of look at it like you're unknown

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Speaker 3: was going to be better than your known?

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Speaker 2: That's really well said. I had so much fear, and

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Speaker 2: I think that you know, I had great parents, and

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Speaker 2: they were so super supportive of me being happy, but

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Speaker 2: very very concerned about being me, being single and providing

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Speaker 2: for two kids.

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Speaker 1: And I just felt like.

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Speaker 2: The unknown was just fueled and filled with possibility, and

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Speaker 2: the past was just something that I didn't even want

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Speaker 2: to remember, not in it. Not that he's a bad person,

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Speaker 2: but it's just like, that's just not what I want.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to I just wanted a family for my family.

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Speaker 2: That's all what I've always said for a thousand years.

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Speaker 2: Just all I want is a family for my family.

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Speaker 3: And do you feel like when you're looking to date,

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Speaker 3: are you looking to create like a Brady Bunch situation,

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Speaker 3: to recreate the family that a thousand and it blew?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thousand percent.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm always looking at so people would be like,

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Speaker 2: why you did someone that doesn't have kids, I'm like, why,

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Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't want to do that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't mind, I wouldn't mind, but.

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Speaker 2: It would be difficult to date someone that doesn't have

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Speaker 2: children because they I wouldn't be able to talk to

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Speaker 2: them about things that have to.

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Speaker 1: Do with raising children.

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Speaker 2: They'd be like what they would be like, you know,

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Speaker 2: and it wouldn't be It would be a disservice to them,

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Speaker 2: be a disservice to them.

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Speaker 1: Because they weren't a part of that. So those memories

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Speaker 1: they weren't a part of.

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Speaker 3: I also think it's a different life experience because a

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Speaker 3: few people I've dated that didn't have children, because I've

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Speaker 3: kind of arrived at the same place as you, I

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Speaker 3: just think they're I don't want to say the word selfish,

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Speaker 3: but it's like you're not. It's not selfless, right like

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Speaker 3: when you're a parent, what you know, everything goes to

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Speaker 3: them first, like I'm last, Like I would give them

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Speaker 3: my last dollar to eat. And I think for me,

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Speaker 3: you know, I had a significant relationship with somebody who

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Speaker 3: had quite frankly, never been married, never had kids, and

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Speaker 3: it was just we just kind of spoke a different

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Speaker 3: a different language. I think I have the opposite, like

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Speaker 3: you're looking to create great bunch. I have a hard

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Speaker 3: time merging like the people I've dated that have kids.

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Speaker 3: I have a hard time merging my children with other

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Speaker 3: kids and creating that like the idea of going on

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Speaker 3: a trip all of us or like it's few and

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Speaker 3: far between, Like I'm way more coupled keeping it separate.

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Speaker 2: Isn't that because you have such like a good thing

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Speaker 2: going that your family, You're like you have like an

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Speaker 2: extended family, now, do you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 2: because it's so comfortable, do you feel like that you

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Speaker 2: would be like, wait, it's not going to be as good.

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Speaker 3: As this, No, because I think that's only only in

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Speaker 3: the last few years. I think it was more when

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Speaker 3: I got divorce. My kids were young, and you know,

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Speaker 3: when I had them, I was like all in on them.

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Speaker 3: And then I looked at it like I had some

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Speaker 3: key percent of the time to just do me and

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Speaker 3: do that that I got so compartmentalized that it was

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Speaker 3: like two It was like almost like a jecko on

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Speaker 3: a high right, like I just couldn't never And then,

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Speaker 3: you know, only one time in the last few years

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Speaker 3: did I even do a couple of those meals with

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Speaker 3: somebody I dated for close to two years, but I

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Speaker 3: just wasn't it wasn't comfortable for me. Now it could

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Speaker 3: have been a function. In my heart, I knew it

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Speaker 3: wasn't the right relationships. I wasn't going to poison the

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Speaker 3: well with my kids and you know, for lack of

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Speaker 3: a better word, blow my wad with them and say

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Speaker 3: this was the situation. I think what I've learned now

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Speaker 3: after that, have now since learned that they didn't like him,

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Speaker 3: that unless I think I'm going to marry this person

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Speaker 3: and go to the distance, like, I don't really want

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Speaker 3: to force that on them. I guess I don't know.

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Speaker 2: So right, your kids are older, so are my kids,

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Speaker 2: so like what do you how do you feel about so?

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Speaker 2: For me, like I was a full time single parent,

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Speaker 2: there was no fifty to fifty. There were no Wednesdays,

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Speaker 2: there were no over the every other weekends, there was

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Speaker 2: no there was no like time for me to create

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Speaker 2: a life. It was just with my kids twenty four

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Speaker 2: to seven. And I would never train to that. I'm

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Speaker 2: so grateful for that.

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Speaker 3: But they also know they can rely on you.

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Speaker 2: I mean you're their foundation, right right, Yes, thank you

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Speaker 2: for that and I appreciate that. You know, it was

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Speaker 2: very stressful to raise two girls alone and I was

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Speaker 2: around a lot of people, and so I never if

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Speaker 2: there was someone that I that I liked, I would

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Speaker 2: never I wouldn't think, Like I was having a super

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Speaker 2: Bowl party, like I would my kids be there, I

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Speaker 2: would invite them.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't think twice because I.

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Speaker 2: Kind of wanted to see how that person navigated my

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Speaker 2: friends and everything. My kids weren't like, oh, I was

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Speaker 2: the same boyfriend, Like, they never even knew if I

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Speaker 2: had if I was dating.

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Speaker 1: Someone or not.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was around so many people all the time.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I think I was nervous. I was scared of their reaction.

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Speaker 3: I was scared that they the first that the person

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Speaker 3: I would finally introduce them to, they wouldn't like when

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Speaker 3: I think, what I've realized is they just want me

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Speaker 3: to be happy. They want the person to be a

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Speaker 3: nice person, treat me well, be respectful, you know, keep

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Speaker 3: me safe. But I didn't know. I didn't know that then, right,

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Speaker 3: So I just kind of shouldered it all on my

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Speaker 3: own and all that. But it's hard. I mean every day,

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Speaker 3: I mean they're home, they're going back to school next week,

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Speaker 3: and they're like, Mom, are you dating on anyone? What's

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Speaker 3: going on?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: And then this was the big one they came at

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Speaker 3: me with today Mom. According to all the articles, today

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Speaker 3: is the super Bowl for dating apps. This is the

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Speaker 3: biggest day of the year that people sign up for

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Speaker 3: dating apps. It's their New Year's resolution. What's the plan?

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Speaker 3: Should we work on your profile? And I was like,

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Speaker 3: it was horrified. I'm terrified to do a dating app.

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Speaker 3: I don't do that. Do you do dating apps? Have

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Speaker 3: you done dating apps?

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Speaker 1: Have? I was on ria from the very beginning.

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Speaker 2: I mean I've been single for a long time and

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Speaker 2: so I was on riah and I never really met

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Speaker 2: anyone that I was like amazing. But my ex fiance

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Speaker 2: I met him because my assistant created an account for

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Speaker 2: me and that's how I met him.

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Speaker 3: So Thelma to my Louise, yeah, I I am her

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Speaker 3: Sarah O de Bergerac and I have been I was like,

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Speaker 3: you need to do this, and she went and so

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Speaker 3: I was like, I'm doing it for you. So I

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Speaker 3: have done some of her online dating, just for like

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Speaker 3: the last two months. We put it on pause because

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Speaker 3: it was just but the minute I give her phone

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Speaker 3: number out, I call her up and be like, yo,

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Speaker 3: you're going to be getting a call from the skylight.

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Speaker 3: I'm out now. Take take it over. Let us know

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Speaker 3: how we do on our date. So it's been actually

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Speaker 3: a fun it's been a fun adventure. But I don't know.

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Speaker 3: My kids are pretty invested in it. Now are yours?

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Speaker 3: Are you dating anyone right now?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: You have? I heard your podcast tennis guy? Yes, how's

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Speaker 3: that going?

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Speaker 2: So we're twenty twenty five, Louise, and there's there's so

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Speaker 2: much Okay, so we're talking about dating apps. Today's a

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Speaker 2: super bowl of dating apps?

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Speaker 1: Wild But what do I want to know? What you want?

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Speaker 1: What you're leaving behind? And then I'll then I'll tell you.

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Speaker 3: God, when am I leaving behind so much? I think

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Speaker 3: I think I need to leave behind. And I think

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Speaker 3: I need to be I don't know, like, I think

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Speaker 3: I need to be a little bit easier on myself.

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Speaker 3: I think I need to toe the line better between

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Speaker 3: looking for the butterfly, which is probably just the mirror

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Speaker 3: of a childhood wound, and really focus on a really good,

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Speaker 3: thoughtful human being, companion, nice person, because I think our

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Speaker 3: needs are different in our fifties as than when we

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Speaker 3: were twenties, thirties, forties, and I really need to do that.

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Speaker 3: I think I need to look I need to stay

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Speaker 3: more even across the board. I need to find a

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Speaker 3: little more gray, less black and white. And I think

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Speaker 3: that that is a theme that just carries over in

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Speaker 3: all kinds of areas of my life.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting because I think a lot of people are

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Speaker 2: talking about this gray area, and for me, I feel

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Speaker 2: like I have been so black and white with like

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Speaker 2: work and laser focused and you know what I want,

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Speaker 2: what I'm going to do and how I'm going to

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Speaker 2: do it, and how I'm going to make money and

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Speaker 2: doing this and doing that. And one of my other

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Speaker 2: co hosts who I love, Cheryl, like we always talk

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Speaker 2: about like how busy we are and how great we

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Speaker 2: are being busy, because like being busy is just kind

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Speaker 2: of like taking away like the hurt, feel the feelings,

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Speaker 2: the feelings of like what we're how we are feeling,

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Speaker 2: not just how we're feeling about other things, but how

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Speaker 2: we are internalizing everything.

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Speaker 1: And so I really just want to like be.

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Speaker 2: More confident and working with Amy and Heather and Cheryl

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Speaker 2: and you know, Janna and everybody I've been so I

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Speaker 2: have switched. I have become literally and I know this

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Speaker 2: is strange, I have literally become a different person tell me,

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Speaker 2: I just am so different. I'm just so more relaxed.

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Speaker 2: I listen to people a lot more. I'm not like

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Speaker 2: so eager to get my point across. I kind of

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Speaker 2: want to hear what they're doing and you know, what

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Speaker 2: tools they have in their tool belt, versus like hearing

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Speaker 2: about mine all the time. I think that just too

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Speaker 2: Like outside of like my relationships, I just had such

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Speaker 2: PTSD from being on Housewives, and I was always trying

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Speaker 2: to tell people like this is who i am. I'm great,

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Speaker 2: I'm this, I'm really a nice person. I'm I'm filanthropic,

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Speaker 2: I'm kind, I'm a good mother. And I was constantly

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Speaker 2: telling people. And so this year is my year of

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Speaker 2: just kind of listening and sitting back and just being

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Speaker 2: more open to what other people are doing. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I you know, like even like with you, like I

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Speaker 2: want to know, like, you know, are you gonna mean

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Speaker 2: a guy I celebrity on Riyah?

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Speaker 1: Like are you going to go on Riya?

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Speaker 2: Like what are your I want to know what people

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Speaker 2: are doing and how they're doing it, versus me always

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Speaker 2: telling people.

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Speaker 3: So it seems like you have more confidence and sense

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Speaker 3: of self. Maybe that's what all this has come from

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Speaker 3: because I've part of got That's what I think we

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Speaker 3: all need to work on. That's my point of bringing

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Speaker 3: it up is I think we all need to just

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Speaker 3: get comfortable with our own you know selves kind of

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Speaker 3: words and all right, like being authentic and vulnerable and

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Speaker 3: all of that stuff. And I think that that's you know,

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Speaker 3: I I think I do a good job of putting

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Speaker 3: a confident face on every day, but I think on

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Speaker 3: the inside, like I can feel pretty small. Sometimes I

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Speaker 3: can question myself and feel pretty lonely and sad and

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Speaker 3: like how did I end up this way? And then

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Speaker 3: I'll be like no, like look what I've I have

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Speaker 3: to like have self talk, like look what I've accomplished. Like,

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Speaker 3: But I think for me, you know, I don't know

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Speaker 3: like I think i've I'm I'm a little I guess

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Speaker 3: I'm disappointed that I haven't found my person in the

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Speaker 3: nine years. I mean, I think you and I've been

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Speaker 3: divorced around the same amount of time and but a

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Speaker 3: lot of different experiences and dating and stuff. But I

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Speaker 3: just I don't know, Like I I think I have

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Speaker 3: a fear that I'm going to just end up alone,

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Speaker 3: which I don't want that.

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Speaker 2: I you know what, It's interesting that I had that

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Speaker 2: fear for a long time and for some reason, and

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Speaker 2: I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: I just don't feel like that anymore. I feel like

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Speaker 1: I am such I feel like.

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Speaker 2: Such a different person and the way that people are

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Speaker 2: responding to me is so different. And I I'm just

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Speaker 2: I'm just open to all possibilities. I just I don't

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Speaker 2: want to I don't want to, like say like, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to put out that I'm afraid. I don't

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Speaker 2: want to put out that. I you know, I don't want.

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Speaker 1: To put on anything that's negative. I've put out that.

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Speaker 2: I've just constantly put out negativity. And I just want

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Speaker 2: to say, I'm just saying no. You know, I was

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Speaker 2: saying no for so long and now I'm just saying yes,

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Speaker 2: and I'm being more open. And I know that sounds

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Speaker 2: like so simple.

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Speaker 3: Well I say, I think they say like, you just

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Speaker 3: have to you know, we have to raise our vibration

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Speaker 3: and admit positive vibration and it comes back to us,

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Speaker 3: right like, so if you smile at somebody or whatever,

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Speaker 3: it's just like you're giving off a different energy.

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Speaker 2: We's so interesting what you said, because I'm a smiler

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Speaker 2: so I'll walk down the street and I'll be like,

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Speaker 2: I'm a smiler.

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Speaker 1: I just am a smiley person. I don't know like why.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I live in New York and people are

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Speaker 2: not smiling, so I'm always like smiling. People look at

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Speaker 2: me like what's wrong with her? And it's interesting because

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Speaker 2: just because I smile doesn't mean like I'm not in

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Speaker 2: like a lot of pain.

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Speaker 3: But I was thinking about that in yoga today. It

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Speaker 3: was so funny because I was like, I was kind

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Speaker 3: of feeling blah, to be totally honest with you, and

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Speaker 3: I was looking in the room and I was like,

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Speaker 3: I think people would look at me and my down

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Speaker 3: dog and think like, probably I'm fine, right, you don't

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Speaker 3: know person just when you kind of look at them

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Speaker 3: from a distance. And I was like, how many people

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Speaker 3: in this room feeling kind of straight today? Right? Like

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Speaker 3: I don't know it. It was just an interesting thing

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Speaker 3: that you're saying that like this, you know, like the

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Speaker 3: smile on the exterior is masking the interior and you

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Speaker 3: hear of all these bad things that are happening lately,

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Speaker 3: and you're like, oh, like we don't really know what's

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Speaker 3: going on behind somebody's face. Or behind closed doors. How

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Speaker 3: do you deal with projection?

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Speaker 2: So hold on, wait, that's that's interesting. I'll answer the

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Speaker 2: rejection things. But that's interesting that you say that because

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Speaker 2: I was dinner with a friend of mine who's a man,

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Speaker 2: and he and I said to him, I'm like, why

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Speaker 2: are these women like do they look at me with

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Speaker 2: like such a weird look all the time? And how

354
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Speaker 2: come they're like not nice to me? And he goes,

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Speaker 2: because you're always smiling, And I'm like, what do you mean?

356
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Speaker 2: He goes, You just make things look.

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Speaker 1: So easy, And I'm like, wait.

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Speaker 2: A minute, I didn't have this, like you know, all

359
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Speaker 2: this money, I didn't you know. I made my own money.

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Speaker 2: I've created my possibilities for myself. No one gave me anything.

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Speaker 2: And here a lot of these women have a lot

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Speaker 2: of money from their exes. And I was like, so

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Speaker 2: hold on, let me get this straight, because I'm not like,

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Speaker 2: because I'm not.

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Speaker 3: Wearing my war worms now, they're just jealous. So they

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00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 3: have their own stuff going on. Kelly, Like, I think

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Speaker 3: somebody who's smiling is so engaging and they're so like

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00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 3: it just attracts people. It's like your aura is warm,

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Speaker 3: Like the second I got on with you. It was

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Speaker 3: like literally like bees to honey. It was like just

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Speaker 3: so easy to connect and talk to you, like so easy,

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Speaker 3: Like certain people make you feel comfortable that you can

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Speaker 3: chat or you can you know my barometers of I

374
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 3: can sit in silence with somebody and be comfortable and

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Speaker 3: not have to fill the air with conversation. And I

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Speaker 3: think you actually give off a really warm, very real energy.

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Speaker 3: I don't agree with him, your friend. Maybe he's in

378
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Speaker 3: love with you and he doesn't want you to smile

379
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Speaker 3: and attract people.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's talk about dating. What are you gonna do?

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Speaker 2: Okay, so are you gonna go on a dating app?

382
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Speaker 2: Or are you just gonna like hide behind your friends dating?

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Speaker 3: Well, so I'm lucky in that, Wylloy No, but I'm

384
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Speaker 3: lucky in that. You know, I wouldn't want my circle

385
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Speaker 3: to have been divorced and experienced out, but I would

386
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Speaker 3: say I have a lot of best friends who are

387
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Speaker 3: divorced also. So we have like this like kind of

388
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 3: girl posse, which is fun. We do our girl trips,

389
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,399
Speaker 3: we do you know, our dinners, like we have like

390
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Speaker 3: a crew. The hard thing is is in la I

391
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Speaker 3: don't know how it is in New York. It's like

392
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 3: you don't really meet people when you're out right, we

393
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 3: sit at a girl table. No guy's approaching a table

394
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Speaker 3: of five girls. It just doesn't happen, right, I mean

395
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Speaker 3: it just I mean your best case scenario is to

396
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Speaker 3: go to like, you know, Bald Hare after a golf

397
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,600
Speaker 3: tournament and hope for the best you know, in the

398
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Speaker 3: bar area. It's like the red onion for this generation.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I got so Louise, I have to tell you

400
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:43,560
Speaker 2: this a flirting tip that Countess Lwan gave me. So Basically,

401
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 2: when you're at a table with a with a group

402
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Speaker 2: of women having a great time, one of your the

403
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,640
Speaker 2: nice that you go out what you do is that

404
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 2: you can either drop an hapkin or you can she

405
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,639
Speaker 2: said send a drink over. I would right, But you

406
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 2: can send a drink over to somebody, or you can

407
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Speaker 2: write them a note.

408
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 1: Hi, Can I borrow your pen for a second? And right? Show?

409
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 1: What can you do?

410
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 3: Aloha? That's your word? But can you do that? Like,

411
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,239
Speaker 3: I'm so scared of rejection, Like I got to get

412
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Speaker 3: a thicker skin with that.

413
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Speaker 2: If I were with you and I saw the guy

414
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,080
Speaker 2: that you liked, I'd be like let's get that piece

415
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Speaker 2: of peeling.

416
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Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it on my own.

417
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Speaker 2: I wouldn't like, I wouldn't like sit there and be

418
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,719
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna drop a bit.

419
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna drop an upt But Luanne does that.

420
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:26,880
Speaker 1: She does that.

421
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 3: I could wing women for you.

422
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 1: No, No, she's gotting serious, serious game. She's like, what

423
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 1: are you doing?

424
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Speaker 2: She's like, if I had your she said to me,

425
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,440
Speaker 2: and she goes, if I had your body, I'd be

426
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Speaker 2: having sex every day.

427
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Speaker 1: I'm like, what you are?

428
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 3: Okay? So we need to challenge ourselves. So you're asking

429
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,439
Speaker 3: about January. We need to have an accountability chart and

430
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Speaker 3: do those things. I mean we really, that's really what

431
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 3: we need to do. Like I know people that will

432
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Speaker 3: go sit at a restaurant and a bar by themselves.

433
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Speaker 3: They meet a million of people.

434
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Speaker 2: Oh you, So what you do is you use the

435
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,920
Speaker 2: waiter to send the note to the guy.

436
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 1: So you say, goog, come.

437
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 2: Over here, and then you're like, I wrote this little note,

438
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 2: dear smoke show.

439
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:05,879
Speaker 1: How are you?

440
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 3: But what if they reject you? How do you handle rejection?

441
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,199
Speaker 2: I mean, imagine if you sent a note over or like,

442
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 2: ask the guy if he wanted to glass, you know,

443
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,400
Speaker 2: if you want a glass of wine and he's like married,

444
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 2: Oh my well, by the way, I guess they just

445
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 2: rejected waiters.

446
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter who cares.

447
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,400
Speaker 3: But like, oh my god, is it easy to meet people?

448
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 3: Like is it easy to meet people in New York?

449
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:28,440
Speaker 1: Out?

450
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 3: When you go out with your friend?

451
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,879
Speaker 1: Whoa in New York? Are you kidding me? You're sitting

452
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 1: at places and people aren't even people like people like

453
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 1: look through you.

454
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 3: I'm like, hello, oh my god, I was just on

455
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:38,919
Speaker 3: a girls trip in New York. It was so I

456
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 3: feel like there's a million more guys in you York.

457
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 3: You probably feel that way about La.

458
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 1: Well, I think that's the thing.

459
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 2: I think it's like because me, I like go into

460
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,879
Speaker 2: these restaurants and I'm like, okay, I'm here all the time.

461
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 2: People are not looking at me, and maybe and that's

462
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 2: you know, it's like you were saying before about maybe

463
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 2: that's a good tip, is that when you do go

464
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,919
Speaker 2: into a place that you typically go to, you know

465
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,959
Speaker 2: kind of like throw your shoulders back and be like

466
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 2: it's the new girl in town, versus like, oh, I

467
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 2: come here all the time, do you know what I mean?

468
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 2: So that you give off that new energy like you're taught.

469
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 2: You're always talking about like having you know, switching your energy,

470
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,639
Speaker 2: and maybe that's what you do. Maybe you're just like, no,

471
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna be like the everyday girl. I'm gonna

472
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 2: be like the new girl. Okay, let's you just challenge

473
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 2: each other to do something new with dating.

474
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 1: So let's come up with the challenge. What yours? Well?

475
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,360
Speaker 3: I think I'm gonna have to take a play out

476
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 3: of your friend's playbook and drop the nap and with

477
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 3: the notes we can combine the accent.

478
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 2: Okay, So Louise, I want you to try. So we're

479
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 2: gonna we're challenging each other. Okay, I love, this is

480
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 2: the game.

481
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: I'm challenging you to do something and you're challenging me

482
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 1: to do something in the dating world. So I'm gonna

483
00:22:58,680 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 1: we're gonna.

484
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 2: I'm gonna take the tip out of Countess Luance playbook

485
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 2: and I want.

486
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 1: You to tomorrow and.

487
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 2: This week wherever you go, even if it's during the day,

488
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 2: Like it doesn't have to be at night. It could

489
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 2: be like at your coffee place or after yoga, and

490
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 2: like maybe give it to like the coffee guy and

491
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: be like, hey, this guy's really hot.

492
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: Can you give no, write.

493
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 2: The note before, write the note in one of your cards,

494
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 2: not your business cards, but like a card, or.

495
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 3: Bring it in my clutch and just.

496
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 2: Have and if you see a hot guy, give it

497
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 2: to whomever, the wait or whatever.

498
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 1: Have it prepared, and like I should.

499
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 3: Just give it to any guy and really emersion therapy

500
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 3: and really challenge myself. Right, okay, so not you.

501
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,160
Speaker 1: You can't do it to give it to a waiter.

502
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 3: Or I know, but I'll have it already.

503
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: Okay, have it ready though, have it ready?

504
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,719
Speaker 3: Have to here's your challenge.

505
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:51,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

506
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 3: You need to go to a place in New York

507
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 3: you don't ever go to, and you need to sit

508
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 3: at the bar by yourself, and you need to have

509
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 3: a conversation with a man.

510
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, well hold on.

511
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 2: So it was last week or the week before, which

512
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: is something I would literally and I'm not I don't

513
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 2: really like the word never, but I'm telling you never

514
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 2: do I sit at a barber myself.

515
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: I will stand and wait.

516
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 2: On my phone in the corner, pretending I'm talking to

517
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:29,439
Speaker 2: whomever like outside, versus sitting at a barber myself. Like

518
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 2: it's like I'm like, oh my god, I just would

519
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 2: like this. I'll freak out.

520
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: And I went to I was supposed to.

521
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 2: Honest, I was seeing this guy in New York and

522
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,640
Speaker 2: I was away in LA and I came back from

523
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 2: jingle Ball and we were supposed to like walk around

524
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 2: and do all this Christmas shopping and stuff, and he

525
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 2: was like busy sleeping.

526
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 1: So I was like, you know what, if you're sleeping,

527
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:52,959
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go.

528
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 2: My daughters were doing their thing, and I just went

529
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 2: to Saint Ambrose and I sat at the bar and

530
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 2: I was chatting with all these different people and I

531
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 2: was like, loving life.

532
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 3: You know what if somebody told me really good advice,

533
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:04,679
Speaker 3: well was.

534
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 1: I didn't talk to a man. I was talking to

535
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: like everybody, but not to a man specifically.

536
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 3: So I don't know where I heard this. It could

537
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 3: have been you, but it was a good idea. So

538
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 3: if you're about to go to like, let's say you've

539
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 3: a friend's birthday dinner and it's at seven o'clock, you

540
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 3: should go to the restaurant early, at like six point thirty,

541
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 3: and then you should whatever the challenge is, force yourself

542
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 3: to sit at the bar talk to a guy, drop,

543
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 3: give a nap into a wait or whatever. And then

544
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: if it's like a crash and burn, you already know

545
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 3: that it was a thirty minute you know, kind of

546
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 3: quick X window and then you sit at your girl's dinner. Anyways,

547
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 3: that's the move.

548
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 2: That's that is the move, because you have something to do.

549
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 2: You're not just sitting there waiting around and like that.

550
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 3: And then you don't feel like a total loser, right right.

551
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 1: And then you don't go home and you're like, wow, but.

552
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 3: Kelly, I heard you're being set up from your lovely

553
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 3: producers and I love to be set up. It is

554
00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 3: my favorite thing. So how is mister tennant? And what

555
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 3: is going on? You know, you guys heard the podcast. You

556
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 3: had the first phone call. So where are we at?

557
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 3: Are you excited?

558
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 1: I am so excited.

559
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 2: So he's coming this Thursday where he's going to work,

560
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 2: and then we're gonna spend the weekend doing fun stuff

561
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 2: in New York.

562
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 3: You're going to spend the whole Is he staying in

563
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 3: a hotel?

564
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: Yeah?

565
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 3: Of course and then in Manhattan. Okay, and do you

566
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 3: guys have like okay, can I ask a logistical question?

567
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: Yes?

568
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,200
Speaker 3: Are you making all the reservations because it's your town

569
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 3: or is it on him to be the trigger puller?

570
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 2: So that's a really good question. He was kind of

571
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,719
Speaker 2: like asking me things like what do you like to do?

572
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 2: And He's like, one thing that I really want to

573
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 2: do is I want to go and have a bourbon

574
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 2: at like a really vibey place in New York, like

575
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 2: a cool like a library bar.

576
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's cool, that's cool. That's very cool. I

577
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 1: was like, I'm like, I don't drink bourbon, so I'm

578
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: like I will be.

579
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 2: But I thought that was really cool and I love

580
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 2: that kind of like just vibe.

581
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 1: Just sounded like very warm and fun and.

582
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 3: Like still like in the winter and cozy.

583
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, winter cozy exactly. So I love that.

584
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 2: And then he was like telling me stuff and asked

585
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 2: he like send me sending me places and he liked.

586
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 2: And then I my daughter was actually she was she

587
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 2: was sitting at the table and she was like, Mom,

588
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 2: what is what's going on? I was like, Oh, like,

589
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 2: I'm going out with this guy named mister Tennis this

590
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 2: week and he's giving me places to go. Oh my god, Mom,

591
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 2: First of all, you have to go to Okay, then

592
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 2: you have to go to Temple Bar then you have

593
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 2: to do this.

594
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, oh my god, that is

595
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: the funny. I was all right. I was like I

596
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: need a place for b and she's like, I got it.

597
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 3: Just go on TikTok. I know we can find everything on.

598
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: You know.

599
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 3: It's interesting though for him, so you kind of have

600
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 3: to feel bad, right, It's like he's nervous, like he

601
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 3: wants to you know, he's coming to your area, but

602
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 3: yet he wants to be a man and come up

603
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 3: with good so good suggestion. It's like an interesting thing

604
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 3: and he doesn't. Like there's something worse than when you're

605
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 3: going out with somebody and they like pick a place

606
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 3: and you're like okay, like you know what I'm saying, Like.

607
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 2: I love yeah, but you know I also like to

608
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 2: your point, like am I picking stuff? So I was like,

609
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna pick places for him because let him

610
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 2: have fun.

611
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: With that, do you know what I mean? Like he's

612
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: from he's not.

613
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 2: He traveled, he comes here a lot, so like let

614
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 2: him like have fun with that. But I was like

615
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 2: the one thing that I really wanted him to do,

616
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,919
Speaker 2: and I said, would I think you should play tennis

617
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 2: while you're here, Like you're gonna be here for three days.

618
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 2: One day you're working and then two days you're hanging

619
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 2: out with me. But like, I really want you to

620
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 2: play tennis because it's something that you love to do

621
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 2: and I want to watch you.

622
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: And so Vanderbilt at in uh in uh it's.

623
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 2: Called Vanderbilt and it's this private it's not a private,

624
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 2: it's just a small, one course tennis tennis court.

625
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: It's one tennis court. It's in Vanderbilt, it's in.

626
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 2: It's on forty second Street, and it's so bougie and

627
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 2: so cool and so unique. And I was like, that

628
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 2: would be so fun for him and I could be

629
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 2: his I could like hit balls to him.

630
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 3: But it will make him so you'll like actually love

631
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 3: watching him because if he's like super hot on the

632
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 3: tennis court, you'll get like totally even more into him.

633
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: Right, I just want him to do something that makes

634
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 1: him feel good.

635
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 2: I mean, I really appreciate the fact that he's coming,

636
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 2: but I also want to do something for him that

637
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 2: shows that I, you know.

638
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: I'm interested in him and I want him to be

639
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: happy too.

640
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 3: So question for you, it's good?

641
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 1: Is that weird? No?

642
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 3: I think it's really awesome. But let's assume it's going

643
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 3: to be like amazing and you're gonna be But what

644
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 3: happens if on day day two of his three day

645
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: trip you're like just not that into it? What do

646
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 3: you do?

647
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: We talk a lot, we talk at the.

648
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 3: Phone, so you already have a connection, you feel.

649
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, we talk and we get along so well, like

650
00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 2: we just get along really really well.

651
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 3: That's amazing. I mean, setups truly are the best because

652
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 3: a you have a little intel of somebody, you're already

653
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 3: like kind of connecting. It's like a hometown pro so

654
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 3: it feels safe and I don't know, a little more familiar.

655
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 3: So it sounds like you guys are building a bit

656
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 3: of a foundation already. So when you see him, it's

657
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 3: just going to be like like probably you'll give him

658
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 3: a kiss hello, not like a just like a perfunctory

659
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 3: like hug or something.

660
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 2: Wait.

661
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: But you know what, also, it is he's a plu.

662
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 1: So plu is people like you, people I like that.

663
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 1: I don't know that.

664
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 3: I've never heard that.

665
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 2: So a PLU could be a lot of different things,

666
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 2: but for me, a PLU is like people that are

667
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 2: like me, that are interested, curious, you know, good parents,

668
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:47,239
Speaker 2: good friends. Like you said, strong moral compass. You know

669
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 2: that is a that's a PLU. I mean you can

670
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 2: meet a lot of people that.

671
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 1: Are not Kelly.

672
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 3: You should start a dating app called PLU. Unless you're

673
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 3: a PLU, you cannot be a part of this dating app.

674
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 3: We got to limit this pool better, right.

675
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 2: Right, Everyone wants to make it bigger. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,

676
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 2: no no.

677
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 1: If you're not appealing you no, you know what.

678
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 3: I think divorce attorneys as a side gig should start

679
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 3: matchmaking thousand. I think you guys, I'm excited to hear

680
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 3: about it on your I guess that podcast which we'll

681
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 3: talk about like the kind of post mortem of this weekend.

682
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 3: What if this is? What if this happened? I mean,

683
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,080
Speaker 3: wouldn't this be amazing?

684
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 1: I have a good.

685
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 3: Feeling he's I have a good feeling. He sounds like

686
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 3: he's a good human being, he's passionate. What happens you

687
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 3: created a connection, You've been talking to guy's flying, you know,

688
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 3: three thousand miles to see when you see him, like,

689
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 3: do you just give him a little handtake or do

690
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 3: you give him like a kiss?

691
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: Hello?

692
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 3: Like what's the kind of what do you think is

693
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 3: going to happen when you see him?

694
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: I think I don't know. I'm not going to kiss

695
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: him and be like, you know, I probably will, like.

696
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 3: You're not going to row your tongue down his throat

697
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 3: like a kiss on the kiss on the cheek. Are

698
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 3: you going to see each other at first in the

699
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 3: daytime or the nighttime?

700
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be the night time because he

701
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: has to be at work.

702
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 3: So I think it's a liquid courage will be coming soon.

703
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:12,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I'll probably just like hug him because I

704
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 2: just I don't know. I'm like just I like just

705
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 2: I like think he's so great. I think he's so

706
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 2: great that when I texted the other guys, I'm like,

707
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 2: I'm boring.

708
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 3: Are you wow this? I am really crossing my fingers

709
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 3: for you? And you know, there's a concept called do

710
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 3: you know this concept of driftwood? Do you know who

711
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 3: Gabby Bernstein is?

712
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: You asked me this before and I did not do

713
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 1: not to.

714
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 3: This is my favorite concept and I'm gonna look at this.

715
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 3: Your situation is my driftwood. Okay, concept of driftwood. You

716
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 3: are being set up with somebody you're excited. It's good,

717
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 3: you're talking. He's flying in and I'm sitting here and

718
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 3: I'm looking at it like, oh, it's about to happen

719
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 3: for me too. Instead of looking at it like why

720
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 3: isn't it happening for me, I'm looking at it like

721
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 3: I'm next. Yes, I mean probably know, Kelly, you might

722
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 3: have somebody for.

723
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: Me, exactly.

724
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 2: Well, that's the whole point about like, you know, friends

725
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 2: setting up friends, and yes, okay, you know people are like, oh,

726
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: you can go on these dating apps and all this stuff,

727
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 2: and like there's this big pool of people. But you know,

728
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 2: I think it's really really important to set people up.

729
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 2: And like we were saying, like recycle, recycle, and you said,

730
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 2: like we said, you you went out with him, you

731
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,719
Speaker 2: went on a date with him, and I was asking,

732
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 2: I was asking, like, what what are your what were

733
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 2: your thoughts?

734
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 3: It's important to recycle men because one woman's trash could

735
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 3: be another woman's treasure.

736
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: Okay, so you went on a date with mister Tennant.

737
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 3: Yes I did.

738
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: She's not trash, he's a treasure.

739
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 3: He's not.

740
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 2: But I'm just kidding, no, no, I'm just we're just because

741
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 2: like before that, it was like trash and tree.

742
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, no, he's a really instellar human.

743
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you first of all, I want

744
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 3: you to know one thing and when you sit down.

745
00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 3: It was so many it was five years ago, but

746
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 3: let me take one thing. He has the best style.

747
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 3: His style was beautiful. We went to dinner. He was

748
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 3: wearing this gorgeous cashmeir like kind of shawl like cardigan.

749
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 3: He smelled really good. He's got a great body, obviously

750
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 3: in tennis stead. He is a great dad. To be

751
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 3: honest with you, what happened was when we got set up,

752
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 3: I had just gotten out of a relationship and I

753
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 3: was a little sad, and I think that was that's

754
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 3: kind of hard to switch gears, and it was particularly

755
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 3: hard for me and he. This is five six years ago.

756
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,479
Speaker 3: He had little kids in car seats and I don't

757
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 3: know how old his kids are now. But wasn't I

758
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,879
Speaker 3: wasn't looking for that. I just think the timing was off.

759
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 3: But he's and he's very close to his family, and

760
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:49,280
Speaker 3: so I think that great dad, close to his family, cute, warm, friendly,

761
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 3: amaze his style. I want you to report back to

762
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 3: me on it, because he had probably one of the

763
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 3: better senses of style of any guy I'd ever gone out.

764
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,080
Speaker 2: I love that because I like, I worked at fash

765
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 2: for so long.

766
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 3: No, I know you're going to appreciate it.

767
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 1: I love that.

768
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 2: Actually, that makes me very very happy because there's so

769
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,919
Speaker 2: many guys that I literally that sounds awful, so many guys.

770
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 2: But the guys in the past that I've dated, I

771
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 2: definitely have to have given them a little amp up.

772
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 3: And that's easy, and then that's so easy to do.

773
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 2: It is, but it's also kind of like makes me

774
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 2: like I feel badly that.

775
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, can you put that jacket on? And like,

776
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 1: what should I wear? I'm like, can you wear that

777
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: jacket with that shirt I have? I know it to wear.

778
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, please wear the shirt. Then what are you

779
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: looking for? What are you looking for?

780
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 3: Okay? I am looking for.

781
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: Cause if I'm going to set you up, like I

782
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: need to know, I love that. Okay.

783
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 3: Most importantly, I'm looking for what I call my park bench,

784
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 3: the person who makes me feel safe and the person

785
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 3: who I can sit next to talking a mile a

786
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 3: minute or quiet with a three dollars coffee in my hand,

787
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 3: looking at the birds. Happy is to be that there's

788
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,280
Speaker 3: nowhere else they want to be. They need to be funny.

789
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 3: I have to laugh. I'm funny. I'm super self deprecating.

790
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 3: They need to be kind. They cannot have cheated on

791
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 3: their wives. That to me is a total deal breaker. Confident, sophisticated, intelligent,

792
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 3: fabulous father close to his family, talks politely about his

793
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 3: ex wife.

794
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 1: You're like a unicorn. Do you have one? Let me

795
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 1: pull it out them.

796
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,399
Speaker 3: Let me taste. I was just in Sun Valley and

797
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 3: I walked into that. I always asked for signs from

798
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 3: the universe, and I said, Universe, show me a unicorn.

799
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,319
Speaker 3: That twenty twenty five is going to be amazing. And

800
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 3: I walked into this vintage store and there was this

801
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 3: big grass unicorn and it was for sale and I

802
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god. So I bought it. It should

803
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 3: be ribing any day this week. It's going to go

804
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 3: right on monnight table. But yes, I am looking for

805
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 3: a unicorn.

806
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 2: I started doing that everyone since I first met I

807
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 2: like write down in my notes.

808
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 1: I do like I'll ask for something.

809
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 3: And I'll ask could I teach you about this?

810
00:36:59,280 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: Yes?

811
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 2: You told me that, Yeah, And I've done it and

812
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 2: it's it's true, It's true.

813
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 3: It's true. My friends and you have to come up

814
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 3: with the most obscure signs. And my friend was like,

815
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 3: show me a mini mouse that my ex she's going

816
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 3: through divorce, my ex husband is thinking about me. And

817
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 3: everywhere she turned out of the blue, like a friend

818
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 3: of ours is sending a picture of her kids and

819
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 3: the kid was in mini mouse sweatpants. And my friend

820
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god. And the more you do it,

821
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 3: the more in tune you are with the universe. It's like,

822
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 3: actually really fun. It's like a fun game.

823
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 1: I love it.

824
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 3: You don't feel like you're alone, which is cool.

825
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, so you want a unicorn perfect park bench.

826
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 3: I want nice, honest, funny, confident. You know, I need somebody.

827
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 3: I don't need to be with somebody. I want to

828
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 3: be with the right person.

829
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: Right.

830
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 3: So it's like, I don't need somebody to pay my bills.

831
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 3: I don't need somebody to pay my kids bills. I

832
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 3: don't need somebody to fill my dance card. I have

833
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 3: you know, I have friends, I have family here. I

834
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 3: love to stay home and read a book like it really,

835
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:56,800
Speaker 3: you know, it's it's got to be totally added to

836
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 3: my life. Or it just doesn't.

837
00:37:58,560 --> 00:37:58,839
Speaker 1: I don't.

838
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 3: I'm not going to fit a square into a rand hole.

839
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 3: I'd rather be the right situation.

840
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 2: So I went out a date with this guy and

841
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 2: there was a matchmaker and she said to me, are

842
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 2: you too busy to date?

843
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: Are you too busy to date?

844
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,360
Speaker 3: No, I'm actually not. And when I was turning fifty,

845
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 3: this was two years ago, I woke up on January first,

846
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 3: my birthdays in April, and I was like, this is

847
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 3: going to be my year. I'm going to treat it

848
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 3: like a job. And I was like, I'm going to

849
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 3: figure out a way to go on a date or

850
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 3: two a week. And I did it. And I don't

851
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 3: think I'm too busy. Like if the right situation presented itself,

852
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 3: my hurdle is I say yes day every day, right,

853
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,240
Speaker 3: I mean one hundred percent. Like I love meeting people

854
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 3: talking to them like I can. I love to talk

855
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 3: to people and get to know people, whether they're my

856
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 3: person or not. A different story. I don't think I'm

857
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 3: too busy. I think I just need to put myself

858
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:57,479
Speaker 3: into different situations to open up more avenues like date.

859
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 2: So okay, so we were looking for different avenues. Okay,

860
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 2: we talked about Luane or like waiter thing.

861
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 1: Which is that tip is amazing. It makes me laugh

862
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:07,879
Speaker 1: so much. Oh my god, I'm dead.

863
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 2: But okay, so we're like, so outside of going to

864
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: bars and stuff like that, I.

865
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 3: Think we need to go to airports. We could sit

866
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,959
Speaker 3: at airports. I think, you know, like we.

867
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 1: Should go with you.

868
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 2: I begued.

869
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 3: I could do like a fun little adventure where it's

870
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 3: like we just go. I think you should come to

871
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 3: La I go to New York. Then we go sit

872
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,799
Speaker 3: at different airports, and we fly to Atlanta and sit

873
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 3: at a bar there at a hotel. Hotel bars are

874
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 3: the way to go.

875
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, wait, what about long distance? What

876
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 1: are your thoughts on long distance?

877
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 3: Oh god, okay, well I used to think it was great,

878
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 3: and then I was, you know, like I recently gone

879
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 3: out with a guy from San Francisco and he flew

880
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 3: down and I was like, Okay, that's that's fine. Hour whatever,

881
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 3: maybe two hours or whatever. But I would love to

882
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 3: date a guy in like New York on the East

883
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 3: Coast because quite frankly, you know, I would like to

884
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 3: I'd love to have the opportunity to live elsewhere for

885
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 3: chunks of time. I work full time here. Luckily I

886
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 3: have an assistant. I live in a situation which is

887
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 3: lock and leave. I'm totally okay with long distance. Genuinely,

888
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 3: I think it would be fun to live in New

889
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 3: York for a month and then fun to have him

890
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 3: be here for a month. My kids are, you know, gone,

891
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 3: They're in college, one's about to graduate, one's a sophomore.

892
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 3: Who knows where one's gonna be in Nashville, Like, who knows?

893
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 3: So I would totally do long distance. And I actually

894
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 3: think I would love to spend time in a different city,

895
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 3: meeting new people, doing I grew up in La I

896
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 3: know it. I'm done with it. What about you?

897
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: You know, I'm open to anything now because again, like

898
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 2: you and I are similar where our kids are older,

899
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 2: and I'm just open to every I mean, I have to,

900
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 2: you know, I have to actually move because I am

901
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 2: I'm you know, I'm one of my clients. I'm living

902
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 2: in his apartment. I'm renting his apartment and he wants

903
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 2: to sell it. And I'm like, okay, now I have

904
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 2: to like get up and move. And I could just

905
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 2: do anything and go anywhere. And I mean I was

906
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 2: even thinking like I know this sounds not that far,

907
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 2: but I was like, maybe I'll even move uptown. I've

908
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 2: never lived uptown before, or I could literally just do

909
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 2: anything I want. I mean, it'll probably be difficult for

910
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 2: me to leave my kids, to like leave the state,

911
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 2: but like, I mean, even I was thinking maybe I

912
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 2: should have moved to Florida, or maybe I should go

913
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 2: to Texas for a little bit. I had work in Texas,

914
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 2: and so I'm just I'm I've never been open to

915
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 2: moving or being away from my kids, even though they

916
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 2: were in college.

917
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,399
Speaker 1: I was like, they have to have a family home.

918
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 2: They have to have structure, they have to have comfort,

919
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,080
Speaker 2: they have to know that I'm you know, reliable and

920
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 2: I'm there for them all the time. But now they're

921
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 2: just being nice to me because like mom, we're sad.

922
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: We don't want you to be sad.

923
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 3: Well, like me, I think they worry about me, so

924
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 3: I awful. I always saw my kids home is the people,

925
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 3: not the structure. So I think that they've never been

926
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 3: attached to an actual place. It's more about the people,

927
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 3: which which is great. I think that do you remember

928
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 3: the movie because you and I think are similar age

929
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 3: remember the movie Sliding doors of Paltrow. Oh, Kelly, you've

930
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 3: got to watch them.

931
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 1: Wait, who else is in?

932
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 3: It's Gwyneth Paltrow, some British actor. But the point of

933
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 3: the movie is, which is how I'm choosing to look

934
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:15,759
Speaker 3: at my life now is sliding doors right and Back

935
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,320
Speaker 3: in the day, I used to probably make more impulsive decisions,

936
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 3: not looking at the entire chessboard, saying well, if I

937
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 3: do this and I For example, when I was graduating college,

938
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 3: I went to Berkeley. I had this big plan. I

939
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 3: wanted to spend the first five years post college and

940
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,720
Speaker 3: I wanted to live one year each in a different

941
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 3: five cities. Choose five cities, New York, London, Dallas, whatever

942
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 3: it was, because I was like, if I came straight

943
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 3: back to LA, I knew I was going to never

944
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,240
Speaker 3: leave right, and I really wanted to drink their coffee.

945
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 3: I had no idea what I wanted to do. So

946
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 3: I got a job in New York and I was

947
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 3: supposed to start in August of ninety four in an

948
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 3: entertainment company, and I came home at such an idiot.

949
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 3: I came home that summer to LA and I like

950
00:42:58,080 --> 00:42:59,799
Speaker 3: met a guy and was like, oh, I'm not going

951
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 3: to this is my guy, Like, I'm not moving to

952
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,839
Speaker 3: New York and I never did and it's the single

953
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 3: biggest regret in my life. And you look at it

954
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,399
Speaker 3: like that was the sliding door, right, So to our

955
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,919
Speaker 3: kind of twenty twenty five philosophy of just say yes

956
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,760
Speaker 3: in a way, if we're just saying yes to opportunities,

957
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 3: those are our sliding doors. So for all you know,

958
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,399
Speaker 3: Amy and Heather want to set you up with ten

959
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 3: and as guy who's la, you guys get hit You

960
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 3: said yes, you could hit it off. All of a sudden,

961
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,439
Speaker 3: you're not locked into, you know, a mortgage in New York.

962
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 3: You could be living in La. You have no idea.

963
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 3: These are sliding doors. Every day we have sliding doors

964
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 3: that are presented to us and we have to decide,

965
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 3: like which door are we going in or not going in?

966
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 3: And what is that gonna domino effect?

967
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:56,280
Speaker 1: What about like making new friends?

968
00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 2: So we've talked about dating apps, we've talked about we're

969
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 2: gonna do together, but what literally what about like it's

970
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 2: so hard to meet Like I'm so happy to meet

971
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 2: you just because you know, you're you're smart, you're interesting,

972
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 2: you're engaging, you're insightful, like you just you you think

973
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 2: differently a little bit, a little differently than than me,

974
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 2: but we were we're in the same scope of possibility

975
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 2: in our thought process, which I love about you. But like,

976
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 2: if I didn't know Amy, I wouldn't know you. So how,

977
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 2: you know, how do you meet other friends that are

978
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:31,839
Speaker 2: interested in the same things when they're when you don't

979
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 2: Like when we're younger, we have all these you know,

980
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 2: the play groups and the parents, and like you meet

981
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 2: all these people and you're like the common denominators your kids.

982
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 2: But now it's like I don't have a common denominator.

983
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 2: Or if I meet someone, they're like, oh, you're single,

984
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:44,359
Speaker 2: and I'm like.

985
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I'm single. They're like, oh, Like it's like

986
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:48,359
Speaker 1: a bad thing.

987
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 3: Like you know, it's funny. I haven't had to be

988
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 3: honest with you people. I don't I haven't had that.

989
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,839
Speaker 3: I haven't had that experience with which I I love

990
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 3: my girlfriends so much, and I have such a great

991
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 3: kind of posse of friends and I just love I

992
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 3: don't know, like I actually love collecting amazing friends. I

993
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,359
Speaker 3: will tell you that new friendships. I'm a very open

994
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 3: a new friendship and I'm really look, I might not

995
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 3: be a lot of things right, but I know I'm

996
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 3: a really good friend and I'm really loyal and I'm

997
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 3: super like dependable, like I love my friend. I'm a giver,

998
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 3: I'm not a taker. So for me, making friends has

999
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 3: never been a challenge for me. I've had you know,

1000
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:34,760
Speaker 3: friends since I was you know, like two years old.

1001
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:38,399
Speaker 3: I have a hard time being more connectable to men,

1002
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:39,720
Speaker 3: to be honest with you.

1003
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 4: And so for me, like I meet you, I goes

1004
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 4: back to me asking you like if you're too busy

1005
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 4: and maybe that's so, maybe it's not maybe maybe I

1006
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 4: have to rephrase the question, like because it's.

1007
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 1: You know, just from you know, listening.

1008
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 2: To you, you obviously are so proficient in so many

1009
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 2: things you know you are, You're like perfect in so

1010
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 2: many ways you are.

1011
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: But does that what? What? But what about for men?

1012
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:09,840
Speaker 2: Like how how do they how do they come into

1013
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,280
Speaker 2: into play? Like you know what void can they feel

1014
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 2: for you outside of being your your you know, you

1015
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 2: said you like your park bench, but there they have

1016
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 2: to be They need more than that than to just

1017
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 2: be your park bench. They need to feel wanted and needed.

1018
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 2: And if you have, if you're this, you know.

1019
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,840
Speaker 3: I think you're right, Kelly. I think that's my You're beautiful.

1020
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 3: I'm super self sufficient. I'm super self sufficient, and I

1021
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 3: think that for a lot of men, you know, probably

1022
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 3: similar with you, Like you know, you've kind of done

1023
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 3: it on.

1024
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 2: Your self sufficient, but you're also really really beautiful. So

1025
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 2: it's like a lot of women are self sufficient, but

1026
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 2: they're not so beautiful. So it's like they are more

1027
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 2: maybe they're more insecure because they're they're not you know,

1028
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 2: they're not they don't look like you. I mean probably

1029
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:00,040
Speaker 2: walk down the street and guys.

1030
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 1: Like, holy sug, who's that? Thank you?

1031
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 2: So how do they but no, just I'm asking, like, so,

1032
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 2: how like what can you do to be more open,

1033
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 2: like you said the grave, be more open to allowing

1034
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:15,280
Speaker 2: these men.

1035
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: To see like who you are too. I mean that's

1036
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:18,439
Speaker 1: what I've been doing.

1037
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 3: I need to be a little more dependent, not independent.

1038
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 3: I need to learn to be a little softer. I

1039
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 3: think I need to learn to ask for help more.

1040
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 3: I think I need to. You know, when I'm on

1041
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 3: a date, I tend to ask a lot of questions

1042
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 3: and deflect the off of me. And sometimes when I

1043
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 3: go on a date, now I like sit down my hands,

1044
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 3: you know, like Louise, stop asking so many questions, like

1045
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 3: let them ask you. You know what I'm saying, Like,

1046
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 3: I think it's just a default, right, it comes from

1047
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 3: stuff in my in my childhood.

1048
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 2: I think it's also genuinely like because you're really smart,

1049
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:58,880
Speaker 2: so you're like asking questions and you probably know the

1050
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,200
Speaker 2: answer to most of the questions that you're asking.

1051
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 1: Which is there's nothing that's amazing, by the way, But.

1052
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:07,319
Speaker 2: One thing that I've learned in the past couple of

1053
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 2: months is not and people are calling it trauma bond,

1054
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 2: but I don't think.

1055
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 1: I don't like trauma bond.

1056
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 2: Like I don't need to say to you, I got

1057
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,799
Speaker 2: divorced and my ex husband did this, and I've been

1058
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 2: doing all these things and my life is so bad.

1059
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 2: How bad is your life? Like that's not how I

1060
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 2: want to connect with you. I want to connect with

1061
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 2: you in ways like I know who you are, I

1062
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:32,479
Speaker 2: know who your friends are.

1063
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 1: Let's talk about like you know.

1064
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 2: Solutions, tricks, fun things to do together, but at the

1065
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 2: end of the day, like the solutions that are that

1066
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 2: we are coming to at this time of our life,

1067
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 2: Like that's really really what's super important to me, and

1068
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 2: this podcast has been so crucial because it's opened me

1069
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 2: up to again like listening to be vulnerable.

1070
00:48:56,080 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 1: To before my fear, I had so much fear, but

1071
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 1: the way that it was projected was like this over

1072
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 1: self confidence, which was the opposite.

1073
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 3: I was literally like crawling inside you and I are

1074
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 3: the same person.

1075
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,239
Speaker 2: I'd be grinding my teeth at night. My dentist is like,

1076
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 2: what are you doing. I'm like, I don't know. She's like,

1077
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 2: you're grinding. You're literally grinding your teeth down. I'm like,

1078
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 2: because I'm like a nervous wreck.

1079
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 3: That's me. That's me too. And you and I are

1080
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 3: super super I'm just like the blonde version of you.

1081
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 3: We're super super similar. And I think we have the

1082
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 3: same lessons to learn, and I think that we're learning

1083
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 3: them every day and we're going to be presented with

1084
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 3: different people to teach us those lessons. Right, Like every

1085
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,800
Speaker 3: relationship I have has taught me something more about myself

1086
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 3: or made me be more vulnerable.

1087
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 2: I have something. So now we have a second challenge. Okay,

1088
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 2: so the first challenge is like what we're going to

1089
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,359
Speaker 2: do for something that's fun to meet new.

1090
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 1: People, which I love that, but why don't What about

1091
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,280
Speaker 1: our second challenge?

1092
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:55,319
Speaker 2: Could be something that's we did something this week that

1093
00:49:55,480 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 2: made it extremely vulnerable, like in a super a super

1094
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 2: awkward position.

1095
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: I want to I want to do that. Okay, so

1096
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 1: what are your ideas? What are your ideas?

1097
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 3: I need to I need to think about it. I uh,

1098
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 3: I see my kids are here one more week and

1099
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 3: then they're leaving on Sunday. So I've kind of because

1100
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 3: they just got back from being gone with their dad

1101
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 3: for two weeks. So like my whole week is like it.

1102
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 3: I just want to focus on that.

1103
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 1: It could be like a ten minute thing.

1104
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:26,399
Speaker 2: It's not like it's no yeah, like on your way

1105
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 2: to yoga or something like something I don't know, just

1106
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:31,760
Speaker 2: something that would put you in a vulnerable position.

1107
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 3: There was a guy I'm dangerous.

1108
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 1: I'm not asking you to.

1109
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 3: Like no, no, no, no no no no no no. I

1110
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 3: had dated a really nice guy and we broke up

1111
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 3: in October and he was a good guy, and I'm like,

1112
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:44,440
Speaker 3: part of me is like did I got? But he

1113
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 3: was a really good guy and he had texted me

1114
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:50,360
Speaker 3: over Christmas and he's like, let's have dinner in January

1115
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 3: and I was like, yeah, totally. I think I'll reach out.

1116
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 3: I'll reach out to this week and see if he

1117
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 3: wants to.

1118
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: Have dinner or you don't have to have dinner. Why

1119
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,319
Speaker 1: can't you just go for a coffee or.

1120
00:50:58,320 --> 00:50:59,320
Speaker 3: A drink or a coffee.

1121
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:01,680
Speaker 1: But like I think, I, yeah, just have a coffee.

1122
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 1: And by the way, yeah, don't don't to the dinner.

1123
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 1: Don't to the dinner.

1124
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 2: Oh so one of my producers, she told the Starbucks

1125
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:10,800
Speaker 2: barista about her breakup.

1126
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 1: So like, it's okay to you know, be.

1127
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 2: Open, and I think it's interesting, listen whatever happens with

1128
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 2: this guy. I think it's good to also have conversations.

1129
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:27,239
Speaker 2: Like I'm the kind of person I'm so black and white.

1130
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 2: And maybe that's because I'm like I'm a super mom.

1131
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:32,279
Speaker 2: I'm gonna protect my family. I can do it all.

1132
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 2: Here's my cape. And so what I do is I'm like,

1133
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 2: I don't like what you do. I'm like, you're done,

1134
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 2: and I just I just remove you.

1135
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 3: Oh, you and I are so similar. Do you look

1136
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:46,399
Speaker 3: back in the rear view.

1137
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,359
Speaker 2: If I see someone, if I see you in the stail, like, Hi,

1138
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 2: I have zero interested in calling you.

1139
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 1: I have zero. They're like, oh yeah, you're gonna call me,

1140
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, no.

1141
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,760
Speaker 3: So it, Kelly. If somebody crosses you, are you black

1142
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 3: and white? Whereas you just kind of look back.

1143
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,319
Speaker 2: If I'm dating you and you did do things that

1144
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 2: really like put me in a position that makes me

1145
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 2: super vulnerable and afraid, I'm like we're done, like finished,

1146
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 2: or if you put me in a situation where like trust,

1147
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:18,439
Speaker 2: you know, trust in this new part of my new

1148
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 2: world is like paramount to anything everything, And so if

1149
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 2: I can't trust you, or if I can't you know,

1150
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm an action speak louder in the words,

1151
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 2: like a lot of people are like YadA, YadA, YadA,

1152
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:35,240
Speaker 2: and so I just want to be able to trust people.

1153
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,880
Speaker 2: And I just think it's great and I want to

1154
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 2: hear what I want to hear what happens, because if

1155
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 2: that happens, I want to hear what happens after you guys.

1156
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 3: After you guys talk, I'll do that, you know. And

1157
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:48,760
Speaker 3: it's funny, I'm the same way with you with trust,

1158
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 3: Like trust is like a piece of paper. Once it's

1159
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 3: ripped or torn, you can glue and tape it, but

1160
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,359
Speaker 3: the schism is always there. And I think that when

1161
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 3: somebody blows your trust or crosses you in a way

1162
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,239
Speaker 3: like there's just no going back for me.

1163
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 1: In the spirit of your driftwood. It's like painting over

1164
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:04,280
Speaker 1: rotten lumber.

1165
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:07,280
Speaker 3: Yes, well, driftwood, you're my driftwood. Tennis and your driftwood.

1166
00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 3: I'm so excited. Seriously, we have so many like texting

1167
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 3: things that we've got it. And when are you going

1168
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 3: to come to la will you might.

1169
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: Be hopefully soon, hopefully soon visiting.

1170
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 3: Tennis and then he's going to hunt you to me

1171
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 3: for an hour or we can all go to dinner,

1172
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 3: I know, remember.

1173
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 2: Louise, Oh my god, thank you so so so much. Okay,

1174
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 2: so we know what our marching orders are. Yes, something

1175
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 2: vulnerable and something really fun.

1176
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 3: Something vulnerable and something risky with like the Countess Luerns,

1177
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,879
Speaker 3: like taking a play out of her playbook. And don't

1178
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 3: forget the going to a restaurant or a bar thirty

1179
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 3: minutes before your girl's dinner, because you can accomplish something

1180
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:47,399
Speaker 3: there in a safe kind of time.

1181
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: Brame.

1182
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:49,960
Speaker 2: But by the way, I'm actually going to do the

1183
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 2: same thing that you're doing. And I'm gonna write myself

1184
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 2: a little note and I'm gonna take a photo. Yeah,

1185
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:59,360
Speaker 2: I want to write two notes tomorrow tonight, tomorrow to

1186
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 2: when I'm out about whoever I am.

1187
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be like, can you give this that person?

1188
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:06,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's do let's challenge ourselves because guess what we doing?

1189
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 3: Great stuff comes back and.

1190
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 1: Return You're like, should she drop something?

1191
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:15,399
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you are so much fun. I love

1192
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 3: talking about meeting new friends and people that you know

1193
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 3: when you meet somebody in your life and they're aligned

1194
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 3: with kind of your core values and where you are,

1195
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 3: know you, well, you're that's you. You're my girl, You're new,

1196
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 3: You're my new twenty twenty five friend. I'm good, Louise.

1197
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:34,280
Speaker 2: It was so great getting to chat with you today

1198
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 2: on the pod. You have such great insight, and it's

1199
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 2: been so cool to meet someone who's going through a

1200
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 2: similar journey as me.

1201
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 1: Do you want dating advice?

1202
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:46,879
Speaker 2: Call us or email us, follow us on socials. All

1203
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,839
Speaker 2: the information will be in the show notes, and make

1204
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:52,720
Speaker 2: sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part

1205
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:57,839
Speaker 2: two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the

1206
00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:58,880
Speaker 2: main objective.

1207
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:03,879
Speaker 3: EXTI EXTI fou