Speaker 1: Carolam. She's a queen of talking. She's on the inside.
Speaker 1: She got the scoop on the lad. No one can
Speaker 1: win Klie Caralam, Caralam, No one can win Quiet Caralam, Carol. Hi, friends,
Speaker 1: Welcome back to my Music City Wives podcast series. On
Speaker 1: this episode, I have Jenna Perdue joining me. She is
Speaker 1: so beautiful and so sweet. Her husband is DJ Silver,
Speaker 1: one of the hottest DJs in country music, touring with
Speaker 1: Jason Aldean, Chris Young, Dirk s Bentley. He is the
Speaker 1: DJ in country music. He's so amazing. And Jenna is
Speaker 1: It's a sweet, sweet angel soul. I love her so much.
Speaker 1: When my husband toward with Jason Aden a couple of
Speaker 1: years ago, her husband, DJ Silver was on tour at
Speaker 1: the same time and we got to know each other
Speaker 1: and she was actually pregnant with her first child, sweet
Speaker 1: baby Wake who's now two years old. Now she's pregnant
Speaker 1: again with a new baby, and she's just so awesome.
Speaker 1: I really want to give Jenna some big love before
Speaker 1: we get into this episode, because when we recorded this,
Speaker 1: I was in the middle of going through an early
Speaker 1: miscarriage and it was really emotional and it still is
Speaker 1: an emotional thing to talk about. And Jenna had also
Speaker 1: gone through a miscarriage that was very emotional and hard
Speaker 1: on her. She also survived the Las Vegas massacre, and
Speaker 1: she was very willing and open to share about all
Speaker 1: of these feelings and all of the sadness that she
Speaker 1: experienced with both of these situations. And I just want
Speaker 1: to thank her for that, because these topics are very
Speaker 1: hard to talk about, and she went into them with
Speaker 1: me and she was open about them, and she talked
Speaker 1: a lot about the miscarriage with me and her feelings
Speaker 1: and how she got through that. I'm just so appreciative
Speaker 1: that Jenna was willing to go into these really painful
Speaker 1: topics with me because I think it's going to help
Speaker 1: a lot of people feel especially hearing about her miscarriage
Speaker 1: and how she dealt with it and how she turned
Speaker 1: her mindset around. It really helped me, so I think
Speaker 1: it's going to help a lot of other people too.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much, Jennifer. That we were talking
Speaker 1: so much about this healing process that we never got
Speaker 1: to talk about her new career endeavor that she found
Speaker 1: after her miscarriage. She was searching for super clean skincare
Speaker 1: and wellness products and she found our bond and she
Speaker 1: knew immediately this was the only option for her because
Speaker 1: she loves helping people change their lives with their products,
Speaker 1: so she's a consultant. If you're interested in clean skincare
Speaker 1: and wellness products, you've got to check it out. I
Speaker 1: know Jenna swears by it. You can join her team
Speaker 1: or just learn more about the product. Go to Jenna
Speaker 1: Perdue dot airbon dot com. That's j E n n
Speaker 1: A p E R d u E dot A r
Speaker 1: B O n n A dot com and check it out.
Speaker 1: I know it's changed her life and she's such a believer,
Speaker 1: so check it out. Before we get to the interview
Speaker 1: with me and Jenna that is just so emotional and
Speaker 1: so open and honest, I want to talk to you
Speaker 1: about a product that only makes sense for an episode
Speaker 1: talking about children and having babies and family planning. It's
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Speaker 1: dot com. It is a nightlight and sound machine that
Speaker 1: is controlled by your phone. You can program it to
Speaker 1: turn on automatically based on your family sleep schedule. As
Speaker 1: your child grows, you can grow with hatch Baby. When
Speaker 1: you have a newborn, you can have a turn on
Speaker 1: for the nightly midnight feeding schedules to when they get
Speaker 1: a little bit older and they're in preschool. You can
Speaker 1: use it as a nightline. Plus you can set it
Speaker 1: as a time to rise for your older child. You've
Speaker 1: got to check out hatch baby dot com. Hatch Baby
Speaker 1: rest is what it's called, and it's a night light
Speaker 1: and sound machine and it's game changing. So check them out.
Speaker 1: All right, y'all, here's Jenna being so honest, so vulnerable,
Speaker 1: talking about some really hard things. So give her lots
Speaker 1: of love and be prepared to be inspired by her story.
Speaker 1: Here she is, Hello, Hello, Hello, I'm here with Jennifer
Speaker 1: due Hi in this squinky downtown loft apartment. I mean, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: we're getting, we're getting, we're building. So this is not forever, no, No,
Speaker 1: twenty one floor with a two year old and pregnant,
Speaker 1: it's not ideal, but we're getting through it. So you
Speaker 1: get your exercise just by like getting to your house.
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, you're finding a parking spot, getting to the elevator,
Speaker 1: getting up the elevator. How did you groceries with that wagon?
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like just wake and the groceries
Speaker 1: go on the wagon. Everybody gets yes, all aboard. Yep.
Speaker 1: It's intense. But you know what I feel like, is
Speaker 1: it kind of nice um getting thrown out of your
Speaker 1: ideal situation and realizing you can make it work with
Speaker 1: a two year old? He said to me, with a
Speaker 1: two year old with a pregnancy. It's like when you're
Speaker 1: pushed to things that you wouldn't have done ideally. Does
Speaker 1: it kind of make you feel like, Okay, I can
Speaker 1: I can do this. I can do more than I
Speaker 1: thought I could. I'm like Superman. I'm Superman. It's like,
Speaker 1: I find myself kind of complaining because because it's annoying
Speaker 1: a small space and we're not used to having like
Speaker 1: to live in like on top of each other. And
Speaker 1: but are you kidding me? We're on the twenty one
Speaker 1: floor in downtown Nashville and a beautiful, views insane, incredibly
Speaker 1: gorgeous condo, Like we have nothing to complain about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I feel like that's something I have always really
Speaker 1: gravitated towards you, towards about is your ability to find
Speaker 1: gratitude all the time and where does that come from?
Speaker 1: Because we were talking about Gabrielle Bernstein, the book The
Speaker 1: universe has your back, which I downloading and reading stat
Speaker 1: And you've always been that like a believer of energy
Speaker 1: and you believed in in your own energy. Where did
Speaker 1: that come from? I don't know. I think like just
Speaker 1: but being around like some girlfriends growing up and just
Speaker 1: the vibes. And I'm not a very religious person. I
Speaker 1: was raised Catholic, but I don't know. My dad is
Speaker 1: totally not religious at all. It's like mom and dad
Speaker 1: are totally opposite. And I just kind of like found
Speaker 1: myself in this middle ground where I just started feeling
Speaker 1: like I would think things and then they would happen
Speaker 1: in my life, and I could start telling these stories like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I wanted to do this and I
Speaker 1: thought about it and that happened, and you will never
Speaker 1: believe I ran it, who I ran into or whatever.
Speaker 1: So I did it all link together with positivity, believing
Speaker 1: that it was going to happen. I just kind of
Speaker 1: just kept believing, Okay, I want to do this, I
Speaker 1: want to go on this trip. I'm gonna put it
Speaker 1: out there. And you even believe like manifested your husband too,
Speaker 1: remember you telling me that I sure did. And a
Speaker 1: parking lot there he was. I found him truly truly,
Speaker 1: Like how did you do that? You manifested your Like
Speaker 1: I want someone who's this, this, this and this or something. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was in a relationship for a long time with
Speaker 1: a guy who was none of those things, and I
Speaker 1: was just like this is not working and I want
Speaker 1: and deserve these things. That's a key believing you deserve it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because we are all deserving. It's just believing it. You
Speaker 1: have to know that you are deserving. How do you
Speaker 1: find that? Like, say you're in a valley and you like,
Speaker 1: for me, like I'm coming out of I'm in a valley,
Speaker 1: really just being honest, and it's hard to like get
Speaker 1: yourself a steam back sometimes in your worth and your
Speaker 1: worth or knowing that it can happen, or that you
Speaker 1: deserve good things. You know, how do you do that
Speaker 1: when you're in a valley? Well, you have to go
Speaker 1: through that the valley. The valleys do suck, but their
Speaker 1: reality and do you go how do you work to
Speaker 1: your valley? You have to listen to Gabrielle. You have
Speaker 1: to listen to Gabriel Bernstein, but the universe, but it
Speaker 1: really is, you do have to help yourself. You have
Speaker 1: to help yourself because at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: nobody really is going to do that for you. So
Speaker 1: if you start to feel like you're going downhill and
Speaker 1: downhill fast and I have been there, nobody's going to
Speaker 1: dig you out of that hole. You know. Can you
Speaker 1: feel it though You're like, okay, I'm sliding. I got
Speaker 1: to turn this thing around. Yeah. It's seeing me also
Speaker 1: being so weird my energy. I'm like, I know it
Speaker 1: when I'm going down and I'm like, oh gosh, shoot
Speaker 1: here it is, I'm going straight now and i don't
Speaker 1: even know how to get out. And then I'm like,
Speaker 1: you've got to turn it. You've got to turn it.
Speaker 1: But sometimes I'm like, where are my tools? You've got
Speaker 1: to find your tools. But it's good being aware of that. See,
Speaker 1: that's the problem. Some people aren't. Don't catch on, and
Speaker 1: then you can live there forever. Yeah. So it's just
Speaker 1: being aware and knowing that you deserve it and you
Speaker 1: can get out of it and you will and you
Speaker 1: just believe it. Yeah, you have to believe. You just
Speaker 1: always have to find the positivity and everything. You know,
Speaker 1: we don't have millions of dollars in the bank, but
Speaker 1: we're living life and we're making the best of it,
Speaker 1: and things could be worse and things could be better,
Speaker 1: but we're alive and we've got each other, and you
Speaker 1: just believe that it's gonna be okay. So how did
Speaker 1: you manifest? John ak DJ Silver? I, like I said,
Speaker 1: I was in a relationship, and it was just where
Speaker 1: were you living? Um and London, Ontario and Canada? Actually, hey,
Speaker 1: yeah nice? No, I mean beautiful place, not great from Florida.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it was quite a drastic change, and I
Speaker 1: was really holding on to something. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: hard to let things go. And I knew. I knew
Speaker 1: right when I moved there that he was bad news.
Speaker 1: Once again, your instincts was still hard. But I was
Speaker 1: so proud. My ego was like, we finally are together
Speaker 1: because we were long distance for so long, and any
Speaker 1: who long the story short, I was just like, I'm done.
Speaker 1: So you had a moment. How do you know when
Speaker 1: you're done? What does it feel like? It feels like
Speaker 1: other guys walking by and you're finally like that curious, right, No,
Speaker 1: that's the truth. It was like I was on the
Speaker 1: road for work and I started noticing some other guys
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is a really bad sign. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know. So that's really when I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is so not working. I need out of here.
Speaker 1: And what did you know you deserved after that relationship?
Speaker 1: What were you looking for? I wanted a partner who
Speaker 1: respected me. I was like, really respect. I wanted to
Speaker 1: be respected. I wanted somebody to hold my hand. I
Speaker 1: wanted somebody to like address me. And he wouldn't even
Speaker 1: like you wouldn't know that we were together, lived together,
Speaker 1: let alone knew each other like in a public bar.
Speaker 1: He was not like affectionate at all, which I don't
Speaker 1: really need, Like I'm kind of super independent, but you
Speaker 1: want to be like, you gotta give me something, dude. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I wanted like a lover when it's somebody who
Speaker 1: was funny and fun to be with and we were
Speaker 1: like into the same thing. So I was like, I
Speaker 1: gotta go, man, this is not working. Yeah, and that's scary,
Speaker 1: especially you're in Canada. Well you know what my dad
Speaker 1: told me. It was my dad really was my dad
Speaker 1: who was like Jenna because I called him crying. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm here in Canada. His sisters were not my biggest fans.
Speaker 1: And that was that was like not fun and there's
Speaker 1: just really nothing for me there at all. And I
Speaker 1: was like crying to my dad on the phone all
Speaker 1: the way back in Florida, and he goes Jenna. It's
Speaker 1: like so easy. It's you stay and that's your life.
Speaker 1: What you have is what you get and it's not
Speaker 1: going to change, or you leave and you're young and
Speaker 1: you've got things going on and then who knows what
Speaker 1: it is like it's scary because you don't know, but
Speaker 1: you'll be fine. And I was like, Okay, I gotta
Speaker 1: I gotta go back. I'm out of here. And he's
Speaker 1: so right. He's so right. And if you could think
Speaker 1: of it in those terms, without all of the just
Speaker 1: waves of feelings, it's true because it's like do you
Speaker 1: want this to be your life? And you clearly investigated
Speaker 1: and realized no, right, But it's like finding that bravery. Okay.
Speaker 1: So then this is the next question, how do you
Speaker 1: find a bravery to make a big change? Because that
Speaker 1: is always really hard for me. I always end up
Speaker 1: doing it, but like it's so hard. Right before, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I felt like because it was December twelve,
Speaker 1: two thousand twelve, when the day. I've got in my
Speaker 1: little folk Stock and Jetta and drove all the way
Speaker 1: back to Florida, and I said, he goes, isn't today
Speaker 1: the day that the world's supposed to end? Like the
Speaker 1: Mayan calendar, you know, it's like you're exit And I
Speaker 1: was like, no, that's on the twenty one, today's the twelve.
Speaker 1: But today is the day that your world is Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I don't know. I felt like so empowered.
Speaker 1: I was like I finally made up my mind and
Speaker 1: I was like I am so I don't want any
Speaker 1: of what you have not been offering me and I'm
Speaker 1: not here. Yeah, and then it was like empowering, like
Speaker 1: I'm free. Awesome, So you just felt free because you
Speaker 1: knew Okay, so you get to the point where you
Speaker 1: know and then how did you get to Nashville? So
Speaker 1: I traveled all over the world with Cadillac, presenting the
Speaker 1: vehicles at the auto shows for seven years. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was like van of white and like it's you speak,
Speaker 1: but you just like, hello, here's your car that you
Speaker 1: need to get all over It was a lot more intense.
Speaker 1: I essentially had to be an engineer without having to
Speaker 1: know everything about the yeah, yeah, yeah you yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: inter exteror power train, horse power, you know, final drive,
Speaker 1: like all kinds of ratios. It was crazy. Oh my gosh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was intense, so I did that. I had fun traveling.
Speaker 1: It was so fun, but you know it's lonely too.
Speaker 1: You're in hotel rooms. And I had really good girlfriends
Speaker 1: on the road, so thank God for them. But um,
Speaker 1: it just got to the point where any who, I
Speaker 1: was all over and I kept coming back to Nashville
Speaker 1: for work and I'm like, I love this place and
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, it was just I felt like a
Speaker 1: big city, but it had like a good vibe, like
Speaker 1: you know, just twenty minutes away and Franklin or somewhere
Speaker 1: to raise a family or whatever. I didn't see myself
Speaker 1: in l A or New York, Chicago or any big
Speaker 1: city after I left in Canada, and I didn't really
Speaker 1: see myself in Florida either, but I was like, I
Speaker 1: could see myself in Nashville. Well. Then I was at
Speaker 1: a Jason and Luke concert in Detroit. I was there
Speaker 1: for a meeting for work, and I ran into John
Speaker 1: in the parking lot. We didn't have any ticket, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we didn't have any tickets to the show. But I
Speaker 1: was like, we're going. I told my girlfriend we're going
Speaker 1: to the concert. We're going to go backstage. And she's like,
Speaker 1: I love you. The concert is sold out on StubHub
Speaker 1: gender and I'm like, I'm not worth girl. You gotta
Speaker 1: have I was like, you gotta have faith. We aren't
Speaker 1: going on the concert if you're acting like this negativity.
Speaker 1: We don't need that. You knew it. So there he was.
Speaker 1: He comes up with his friend and he's like, what
Speaker 1: are your girls doing? Like, we need to we need tickets.
Speaker 1: We got to get in there. He's like, come with me.
Speaker 1: Stop get on the back of his golf cart and
Speaker 1: he's like, so what do you do. I said, I
Speaker 1: worked for Cadillac. He goes, I have a Cadillac. I said, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking myself. Here comes the stories and everybody's got
Speaker 1: a story about a Cadillac. I'm sure. He goes, I
Speaker 1: have a CTSV coop and I was like, are you
Speaker 1: asking me or you telling me? Because those are my babies.
Speaker 1: There are high performance cars. I was on the race
Speaker 1: to me like, yeah, that's my talk. I can talk
Speaker 1: that talk. And he's had no idea what anything about
Speaker 1: his car, like this car is like a bad basscar.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can say that. He had
Speaker 1: never had the thing over a day. What he did.
Speaker 1: He showed me pictures he had the black Diamond edition,
Speaker 1: like this thing was awesome, but it'd never been over
Speaker 1: a d and any who, we were laughing about his car.
Speaker 1: Not a lot of people have those, and so you'll
Speaker 1: have an instant connection totally. And he's so charming and nice,
Speaker 1: just the funniest guy, Like I don't know where he
Speaker 1: comes up with half the crab. He says, it's oh witty,
Speaker 1: and like you can't teach somebody that. And he's so
Speaker 1: it's easy to be around. Yeah. Literally, I've seen him
Speaker 1: give the shirt off of his back. He's that guy
Speaker 1: and funny and sweet. And I was like, I remember
Speaker 1: thinking that night at the concert looking at him. I
Speaker 1: was like, there's something about this guy. And he said,
Speaker 1: what do you Where do you live? And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm going back to Florida, but I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: move to Nashville. And he's like, I live in Nashville,
Speaker 1: so take my number. And then I mean the resist history.
Speaker 1: We dated for a year. We were engaged for a
Speaker 1: year and it's pretty fast. We were married for a
Speaker 1: year and on our one year anniversary we found out
Speaker 1: we were pregnant with wake So dated for a year,
Speaker 1: married for on your one year anniversary, foun out your
Speaker 1: pregnant with And the craziest thing about him is it
Speaker 1: took my ex a year and a half for him
Speaker 1: to tell me he loves me. I mean red flags
Speaker 1: like f lying. John told me after two months, and
Speaker 1: I told him over the phone. I'm like, don't know,
Speaker 1: you don't have to say that because that was so weird.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you love me already. But he that's everything
Speaker 1: I wanted and deserved. He like boom was and you
Speaker 1: knew it. He's like, no, I love you and I
Speaker 1: have to tell you cry because being married it's not
Speaker 1: just about it's being married is you have to get
Speaker 1: along with that person, connect with that person, make a
Speaker 1: life of that person. Is not just so is this
Speaker 1: person cute or is this person like do we have
Speaker 1: some sort of chemistry? It is so much more, like
Speaker 1: you said, to be seen and respected by this man
Speaker 1: who loves you, I mean that has to just feel
Speaker 1: so amazing. Yeah, yeah, it's awesome, Like people ask do
Speaker 1: you worry about him on the road, and like, because
Speaker 1: he is on tour Jason and tons of people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's out DJs young right now. He's a badass DJ.
Speaker 1: He like entertains the crowd in between sets and kicks
Speaker 1: to show off and like all sorts of stuffs all
Speaker 1: and he has residencies in Las Vegas. Like he's gone
Speaker 1: all the time, all the time. Yeah, I'm like semi
Speaker 1: single wife and mom which hashtag balance. Sometimes I'm like
Speaker 1: when Michael's gone on the road, I'm like, I like
Speaker 1: many I'm the same way I and that's I think
Speaker 1: that's why we work so well. But people are like,
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it. I'd be losing sleep. Your husband
Speaker 1: works until four in the morning of bars and nightclubs.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I have no reason. I've never lost
Speaker 1: one ounce of sleep over him. I trust him. Isn't
Speaker 1: that everything? Like if somebody came up to me and said,
Speaker 1: your boyfriend is cheating on you my ex, I would
Speaker 1: have been like, I know, I've always known. If somebody
Speaker 1: came up to me was like, John is cheating on you,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I need FBI proof. I don't believe you,
Speaker 1: I don't believe you. That's exactly how I feel too,
Speaker 1: And it just allows you to never have to trust issues,
Speaker 1: never on the table, never. And I'm like Michael and
Speaker 1: I know John's the same way, and all the women
Speaker 1: that we hang out with in this community of women
Speaker 1: who are incredible in the entertainment industry, country music especially,
Speaker 1: I feel like all of our husbands like like being married,
Speaker 1: you know, and marriage is a cool thing now. It's
Speaker 1: not like the secret thing that you have to like,
Speaker 1: you know, be single for the fans. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: being married for the fans is great. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: they love it. So we're good. We'll be married four
Speaker 1: years in January. So talk to me about wake when
Speaker 1: you found out your pregnant. How was that experience, because
Speaker 1: you're someone who is so open and honest and I
Speaker 1: love that, and I just want to talk all about
Speaker 1: the pregnancy journey because I'm in the big middle of
Speaker 1: it and it's a lot. It's a it's a lot.
Speaker 1: It is so much more than yeah, so much more
Speaker 1: than what you think. I thought I was pregnant. Well,
Speaker 1: actually I didn't really know. We went to Miami on
Speaker 1: our one year wedding anniversary because we we love Miami, Florida. Girl.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. And I should have known because I wasn't drinking.
Speaker 1: I had wine, but it wasn't going down like it
Speaker 1: normally does. And we were at this long dinner and
Speaker 1: I went to leave in like my one glass still
Speaker 1: was only halfway gone, and I remember thinking, that's weird,
Speaker 1: like I just wasn't gravitating towards it. I felt great,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't gravitating towards it. And then and um,
Speaker 1: we were going it was New Year's and we went
Speaker 1: to Brittany and Jason's. They had a farmhouse, like a
Speaker 1: big ranch house out in the middle of nowhere, and
Speaker 1: we did New Years out there, and I could not
Speaker 1: catch a buzz. I was like, let's do another shot,
Speaker 1: another shot. I could not catch a buzz. I even
Speaker 1: took like pre workout powder blue like chemical concoctions not
Speaker 1: good for you, or you're pregnant or not pregnant, just
Speaker 1: not good. You're like, I'm going to do this. I
Speaker 1: could not catch a buzz which was another red flag.
Speaker 1: So um on our one year anniversary. That morning, I
Speaker 1: took the test and it was as clear as day
Speaker 1: that I was pregnant, and John was in the shower
Speaker 1: and I took the test and I was like, open
Speaker 1: the shower door and I got in, and I'm hysterical.
Speaker 1: I couldn't spit it out, crying because pregnancy is all
Speaker 1: I had ever wanted. Oh it is. Oh yeah, you
Speaker 1: always always, always, always like, I want to be a mom.
Speaker 1: I asked a babysit when I was like nine. My
Speaker 1: mom's like, you still need babies that are Yeah, I'm ready,
Speaker 1: always want to be a mom. And I'm hysterically crying.
Speaker 1: He's like, what's wrong, what's wrong? Like pregnant? Water? Off,
Speaker 1: he goes, I remember it like it was yesterday, gets
Speaker 1: out the shower, puts his hands on the vanity and
Speaker 1: stares at himself in the beer to give himself a
Speaker 1: pep talk. I don't know what he was thinking or
Speaker 1: I don't know. He was just like and then so
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I guess I should do that too.
Speaker 1: So I'm letting the mirror. You're crying, Okay, let's look,
Speaker 1: let's think about this a freaking love. And then I
Speaker 1: took him to the airport and put him on a
Speaker 1: plane and sent him he had to go play like
Speaker 1: the Alabama some like major college football game. He was
Speaker 1: playing one again with the music industry, the huge news,
Speaker 1: and then you send your husband off, so here you
Speaker 1: are dealing in your own thoughts alone. Thank god for friends.
Speaker 1: He's texting me from the airplane, like can you go
Speaker 1: take like ten more tests? And I was afraid to
Speaker 1: take another test because I didn't want it to say
Speaker 1: I wasn't pregnant. Yeah, but I took another test and
Speaker 1: I was pregnant, and like pregnant, I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant.
Speaker 1: And I had a beautiful pregnancy. I was never sick,
Speaker 1: not one time, tired as all get out, oh my god,
Speaker 1: no ecleptic. You could just fall asleep anywhere. But I
Speaker 1: felt great, awesome, And then I had a beautiful pregnancy.
Speaker 1: And now he's too and he's redhead, blue eyed, left handed, unicorn,
Speaker 1: so freaking he's so fun and he's the best. What
Speaker 1: have you learned about motherhood? Having wake that it like
Speaker 1: physically hurts, I like to the love. I'd never I
Speaker 1: could get emotional talking about it, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's it's hard to like speak because it's just so's
Speaker 1: he's that's like my best guy. Yeah, yeah, I would
Speaker 1: like literally do anything for him, anything, anything he can
Speaker 1: have it. I don't care. Oh and how has marriage
Speaker 1: evolved since having a child. It's just so fun to
Speaker 1: why John with Wake and and he's how like they
Speaker 1: are to Yeah, yeah, and John, you know, he just
Speaker 1: wants to give anybody everything. But Wake in particular gets
Speaker 1: like it's just fun to watch those two together. John
Speaker 1: gets frustrated sometimes with Wake because he's too I also do.
Speaker 1: But it's funny because John doesn't even realize how much
Speaker 1: strong like Wake is so strong headed, and it's just
Speaker 1: like John Purdue, are you serious? So I think that's
Speaker 1: why they get like it's like, I'm like, you guys
Speaker 1: are the same like you are that is your own self.
Speaker 1: Don't get upset, like you're getting a reflection of yourself.
Speaker 1: So now, John, this is how I feel with you
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, that's all fun. It's fun, it is,
Speaker 1: and it's like fun these adding a children, the chapter
Speaker 1: of children is so fun. But then like okay, we
Speaker 1: were talking earlier, the pregnancy journey went so smooth for
Speaker 1: you the first time, and then now you're pregnant with
Speaker 1: a beautiful baby number two, like healthy everything is going amazing,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't always like that for you. And I
Speaker 1: feel like that's the season I'm in right now, and
Speaker 1: it's hard to talk about it because I don't know
Speaker 1: what the word is. It's almost like you feel like
Speaker 1: you need to be private when things don't just go
Speaker 1: perfectly with pregnancy or something at least. But I don't
Speaker 1: know why I'm having trouble processing my feelings in this phase. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I you know, I told you this, but I
Speaker 1: lost a baby in May at ten weeks and it
Speaker 1: rocked my world. We were we're survivors of the Las
Speaker 1: Vegas massacre and that I was separated from Wake for
Speaker 1: four hours. He was two doors down from the shooter
Speaker 1: on the thirty second floor. We thought he was in
Speaker 1: the safest place on earth, thinking like a mass murderers
Speaker 1: walking through the crowd down four doors two doors down.
Speaker 1: He was two on the same floor, two doors down
Speaker 1: from the shooter. And then we get worried that the
Speaker 1: shooting is We're laying on the bus floor that's got
Speaker 1: that's been peppered with bullet holes because you feel the
Speaker 1: bullets flying like your hear um. Oh yeah, and like
Speaker 1: when you're in the bus. Are they going through? They
Speaker 1: had been shot through the bus. We were actually on
Speaker 1: the other side of the bus at that time. And
Speaker 1: then they got us on the bus and they had
Speaker 1: already been shot through and the shooting had stopped by then.
Speaker 1: But John was grazed on his leg. He still has
Speaker 1: a scar. But I mean, we we walked away. But
Speaker 1: when we got the text, because nobody knew what was happening,
Speaker 1: we were on lockdown, and we got the message. Kristen
Speaker 1: Brust actually text me that the shooting was coming from
Speaker 1: the thirty second floor. Oh my god, my son is there. God,
Speaker 1: I'm so emotional. It's like, really it was really intense,
Speaker 1: and he was with my aunt and she was communicating constantly.
Speaker 1: But you just feel so helpless. Yeah, and you can't,
Speaker 1: like you can't physically get back to him. Yeah. So anyway,
Speaker 1: that was so traumatizing. I want to take a moment
Speaker 1: to say how brave it is of Jenna to share
Speaker 1: her feelings of living through the Las Vegas massacre, and
Speaker 1: how our hearts have been with every single person there
Speaker 1: who is a survivor and who was a victim, and
Speaker 1: we will always have you in our hearts. I also
Speaker 1: want to thank Jenna for being courageous enough to share
Speaker 1: her feelings about her miscarriage and all the emotion emotions
Speaker 1: that she went through losing a baby. And when we
Speaker 1: recorded this podcast, I was in the middle of an
Speaker 1: early miscarriage too, and to be able to talk about
Speaker 1: it with her was really healing for me. And so
Speaker 1: I'm so thankful for Jenna and her openness for sharing
Speaker 1: these really really hard conversations. So I just wanted to
Speaker 1: give her some love right now for being so open
Speaker 1: and vulnerable and talking about hard conversations. Okay, here she
Speaker 1: is talking about her very sad, emotional miscarriage and all
Speaker 1: the feelings and thoughts that she had in this time.
Speaker 1: You're so emotional because you want that baby so bad,
Speaker 1: you know, yes, and then you think what's wrong with me?
Speaker 1: And yes, all of those things. It's like, what is
Speaker 1: wrong with me and my body? Is there something going on?
Speaker 1: So then you have to remember and they're sharing about this, Jenna,
Speaker 1: of course, and I just wanna talk when we did
Speaker 1: talk about this ahead of time because it is a
Speaker 1: sensitive topic. But Jenna, you're so amazing that you want
Speaker 1: to share about this, and I'm grateful for it. You're
Speaker 1: you know, you're welcome. It doesn't happen overnight. But then
Speaker 1: you start to you know, really process because at first
Speaker 1: you're just numb and sad and you want to just
Speaker 1: bury yourself in the dark room. And it's isolating because
Speaker 1: even if you have a support group of great friends,
Speaker 1: a great doctor, great husband, or whatever, it's ultimately all you.
Speaker 1: There's nobody else that can really help you through it
Speaker 1: because there's nothing that anybody can do. Nothing. You're literally
Speaker 1: mourning like a death, like you you know, you can't
Speaker 1: do anything to get it back. And so when you
Speaker 1: can go through that darkness, you start to realize, oh
Speaker 1: my god, well I'm still alive. A b we conceived,
Speaker 1: so we got that far because some people just can't
Speaker 1: even get that far. They never see that positive pregnancy test.
Speaker 1: So you're getting that far and you know three that
Speaker 1: you weren't going to have a healthy baby, and that
Speaker 1: it happens sooner than later. Because some women don't have
Speaker 1: that privilege. You know, you hear about these horrible miscarriages
Speaker 1: and these you know, I'm not I can't even go
Speaker 1: into thinking about that. But so that's where I put
Speaker 1: myself in my head. I was like Okay, we can
Speaker 1: do this. We've done this before. I know you haven't,
Speaker 1: so that's even hardy because you're like, what you could
Speaker 1: never happen. But then you have to thank God for
Speaker 1: modern medicine because I think about my girlfriends who got
Speaker 1: pregnant through in vitro, you know, and like how incredible
Speaker 1: that an egg was transferred essentially from like a Petri
Speaker 1: dish and now you have like this beautiful baby. Like
Speaker 1: so I don't know. I just had to start telling myself,
Speaker 1: like this is we can get through this. How long
Speaker 1: did you let yourself be like sad all the way sad?
Speaker 1: Or just got really sad? Like I was afraid. I
Speaker 1: thought every everything, everywhere I was going to die. I
Speaker 1: was afraid to leave my house. I was afraid to
Speaker 1: drive my car. I was going to get crocks to it.
Speaker 1: I was afraid to eat certain foods. It was gonna
Speaker 1: I don't know, As I just said, everything was causing death.
Speaker 1: Almost everything was causing death. Yeah, and it's like you
Speaker 1: feel like you don't trust yourself. Maybe I don't want
Speaker 1: if it was me as more as it was like outside,
Speaker 1: I just felt like out of control, scared to death. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was the weirdest mental thing, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: this is not working and I really want to get
Speaker 1: pregnant again and I want to have a healthy, happy
Speaker 1: environment and I need to figure something out. Okay, So
Speaker 1: then that's where I feel like I am. It's like
Speaker 1: I have been really sad, and just like even though
Speaker 1: we just had a super early miscarriage and then we
Speaker 1: had a chemical pregnancy, it's like, even saying this out loud,
Speaker 1: I feel like I've had to keep it quiet or something,
Speaker 1: not just for myself. It's like we've been trying for
Speaker 1: like a while now, and it's all those things are
Speaker 1: hard to say out loud. I don't know why. It's
Speaker 1: just because it's such a process and you feel like
Speaker 1: everything takes so long and you want it so bad
Speaker 1: and we're put on this earth to have babies, and
Speaker 1: when it fails, it's like, well then what am I
Speaker 1: even here for? Everything else like loses significance. But I
Speaker 1: just excited for you because I know that like one
Speaker 1: day we're going to do another one of these and
Speaker 1: you're gonna be talking about your baby. You're gonna be
Speaker 1: talking and it's going to make you so much more thankful,
Speaker 1: Like my heart does bleed for you because I couldn't
Speaker 1: imagine going through what I went through and not having wake.
Speaker 1: I really leaned on him a lot, like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I have you. So if you're all I ever get,
Speaker 1: I'm good. But it's still hurts. Yes, it does hurt,
Speaker 1: and it's just the fear and you can't let that
Speaker 1: fear and it consume you. What if it never happens?
Speaker 1: And then it's like I don't even want to think
Speaker 1: about next option checks and like we're not really into
Speaker 1: the place where I'm ready to think about next stuff.
Speaker 1: I still there's still things to try here, you know,
Speaker 1: and that involves like, you know, possibly getting them fertility
Speaker 1: meds and checking my blood work to make sure my
Speaker 1: progesterone levels are high. And I didn't even know all
Speaker 1: these things existed. That's why I'm like, I want to
Speaker 1: talk about this because I have been looking for resources,
Speaker 1: like what's my next step? You know? And that's I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful that you want to if you talked about
Speaker 1: this and the open with me, because I'm like, I
Speaker 1: know other women need this. Well, that's why we have
Speaker 1: to talk about it, because there's so much that people
Speaker 1: can do to help with pregnancy, like, what are some
Speaker 1: things that you've found, especially after the miscarriage. I mean
Speaker 1: I just had other girlfriends that talked to me about
Speaker 1: their miscarriage. I mean people came out of the woodwork
Speaker 1: like what, wait, you had one too, Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: had one in between Hudson and Becker. You know, I
Speaker 1: had one. I had this is what you know I
Speaker 1: went through, and I was like, oh my god. Same.
Speaker 1: I just felt like all of a sudden, everybody's like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I hadn't one of those. And it was
Speaker 1: like the thing on the street, like hey, did you
Speaker 1: get those new shoots? Yeah, I got him. I picked
Speaker 1: them up. You're not alone. And that's what made me
Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, this is a thing. Yes, people catch
Speaker 1: a cold, people have a miscare like it in the
Speaker 1: name miscarriage is such a terrible word. I feel like
Speaker 1: I hate it so final and sad, and yeah it is.
Speaker 1: It's like there's nothing you can do, but there is
Speaker 1: something you can do. You just pushed forward, Like I
Speaker 1: started my period three weeks after my terribly disastrous miscarriage,
Speaker 1: and and then I had one more and then I
Speaker 1: got pregnant one more period. I had two periods between
Speaker 1: my miscarriage and my pregnancy, and you did some major
Speaker 1: rewiring of your brain in those two months. Tell me
Speaker 1: what you did, because I'm about to get on your regiment.
Speaker 1: I was following and I still do. Mallory Irvin on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I love may love her inspiring. Oh my gosh, she's
Speaker 1: so tiny, Like talk about always staying positive. She just
Speaker 1: does yeah, and I like, the universe is like here,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you this gift. And she posted a
Speaker 1: book like a story, like ten books that she had
Speaker 1: listened to or watched or read whatever you can took
Speaker 1: these days. That name not a reader, no no time.
Speaker 1: And Gabrielle Bernsteins, the Universizer back was on that list.
Speaker 1: You know what. I cut her book, The Spirit Junkie.
Speaker 1: I had that one too. I didn't really, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I couldn't vibe. I never finished it, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm feeling like I need to listen
Speaker 1: to this and I did, and I swear the signs
Speaker 1: started coming out of nowhere from the was changing. Tell
Speaker 1: me what the signs were. She says things like, um,
Speaker 1: one of the quotes is Eilean on the love that
Speaker 1: is around me, and I expect miracles. She gives you
Speaker 1: these little mantras to say, you know, I lean on
Speaker 1: the love around me, and that involves like being able
Speaker 1: to be open, yeah, yeah, and yeah, and the love.
Speaker 1: You can hear ten positive affirmations, but if you hear
Speaker 1: one negative, it forget the other ten. Like that is
Speaker 1: what you stick to. Its human nature. We are ray
Speaker 1: raised and born to fear everything, and we can't let
Speaker 1: it control us. We need to lean on faith and
Speaker 1: not even like a religion or you can lean on
Speaker 1: a religion or your God or whatever you believe in,
Speaker 1: but if you just have faith in life in general
Speaker 1: that things are going to work, they will. She was
Speaker 1: there was one chapter in the book where she says,
Speaker 1: just to ask the universe give me a sign. And
Speaker 1: I was like, desperate, I need something. I need you,
Speaker 1: whoever you are out there, to tell me that I'm
Speaker 1: going to be okay and that I'm going to have
Speaker 1: another baby and that we're going to get through this.
Speaker 1: And I said it out loud in my kitchen in
Speaker 1: our old house. I'll never forget it. And now remember
Speaker 1: the name of the book is the universe has your back.
Speaker 1: Um keeping faith over fear, something about faith over fear.
Speaker 1: I don't remember what the little handle is, but so
Speaker 1: I go to the gym that that like literally I
Speaker 1: said that out loud in my kitchen and then I
Speaker 1: headed the gym with my girlfriends and I'm on the
Speaker 1: squat press doing my thing and there's a woman like
Speaker 1: on a machine wait in front of me doing shoulders
Speaker 1: and she stands up. She turns around. I don't know her.
Speaker 1: We make eye contact and her shirt says faith over fear.
Speaker 1: We made eye contact and she walked away. I feel
Speaker 1: like I want to cry. I put my weights down
Speaker 1: and I ran to my girlfriends and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, my sign, my sign, Like what are
Speaker 1: you talking about? And I told them the story and
Speaker 1: I was like thank you, like thank you, Like it's
Speaker 1: just when you start to really say things out loud
Speaker 1: and like ask for help from the universe. Like it
Speaker 1: was intense how quickly that day, like within an hour.
Speaker 1: And this is when we're still kind of coming out
Speaker 1: of your front. Girl, I was not in a good place. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I'm going to do this with you right now
Speaker 1: and everyone listening. I am going to put myself out
Speaker 1: there and ask for a sign that I know I
Speaker 1: can carry a healthy baby to full term and have
Speaker 1: a healthy pregnancy and delivery child, and you will. I
Speaker 1: am asking for that sign, asked for that sign I need, Claire,
Speaker 1: I needed a sign. And she tells you to pick
Speaker 1: something like pick an object, like I picked a yellow
Speaker 1: butterfly because He Squared, and I always, yeah, I've kind
Speaker 1: of adopted a yellow butterfly too, And I can't tell
Speaker 1: you how many yellow butterflies I've seen during this pregnancy.
Speaker 1: So it's always like, thank you, there's yellow, thank you
Speaker 1: say when I see because of that book Eat Square, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, And so you know, maybe that's
Speaker 1: what you pick. You know, so start thinking about your
Speaker 1: yellow butterfly and you'll see. My girlfriend tells me her
Speaker 1: fiance read East Squared, which is another great book, by
Speaker 1: the way, and he asked for his yellow butterfly because
Speaker 1: they tell you in the book look asked to see
Speaker 1: a yellow butterfly. When you open your mind to like
Speaker 1: look for things, it's amazing how much is in front
Speaker 1: of you that you We normally just were moving so
Speaker 1: quickly we don't even notice. So he was looking with
Speaker 1: she gives you, like what seventy two hours or to
Speaker 1: find it he could not find. He was starting to
Speaker 1: get upset. He's like, it's almost the third it's a
Speaker 1: third day, it's almost a seventies second hour, and I
Speaker 1: haven't found my yellow butterfly. Checks the mail. There was
Speaker 1: a yellow butterfly sticker on a piece of like junk
Speaker 1: mail addressed to him. He's like, my butterfly, And you
Speaker 1: know what, Sometimes no, no, I'm just making I love
Speaker 1: to hear those stories because sometimes this is like going
Speaker 1: through like the miscarriage by yourself. When I'm going to
Speaker 1: like signs by myself, sometimes I don't love myself like
Speaker 1: process them or I'm like, oh that's just a coincidence,
Speaker 1: or like that's not real, or I shouldn't worry in
Speaker 1: a positive way, like I shouldn't take it for granted
Speaker 1: for the sign negative for the miscarriage is like I
Speaker 1: try not to even think about it or try to
Speaker 1: brush off my feelings. But it's like you've got to
Speaker 1: take those signs for what they are. They are signs,
Speaker 1: and it's not just like something random. It's like little gifts. Yes,
Speaker 1: And she also says when you feel rambled, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I made sense that I totally get it.
Speaker 1: You want because I want to fear. That's the fear
Speaker 1: creeping in, like telling you, no, that's not really a sign,
Speaker 1: like that's not really don't believe that. Don't let yourself
Speaker 1: feel you know, like hopeful, because you're making things. That's
Speaker 1: just wanting to create this. But she also says when
Speaker 1: you have those thoughts that you surrender them. Surrend I surrender.
Speaker 1: I surrender these fearful thoughts to you universe, like you
Speaker 1: can have them. I've got better things to do. And
Speaker 1: I can't remember the quote on that, but I'll have
Speaker 1: to send it to you. But it's just the book
Speaker 1: is incredible, and my mind went from the lowest it's
Speaker 1: ever been in my whole entire life to oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is working. Did you feel yourself dropping that heavy, heavy,
Speaker 1: heavy burden of fear and sadness. Yeah, because I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm at the point where I'm like, I've got
Speaker 1: to drop this. I cannot move forward, and like, starting
Speaker 1: in two thousand nineteen, I'm going to like press a
Speaker 1: reset button for myself. I've already decided with this pregnancy journey.
Speaker 1: I'm dropping all this sadness and like the process and
Speaker 1: I want to start over, if that makes sense, with
Speaker 1: a new mindset, and you should and where you you
Speaker 1: were able to do that. I just had to teach
Speaker 1: myself thanks to this book I gave. It's like my bible.
Speaker 1: I'm like obsessed. It helped me so much, just these
Speaker 1: little words. And like the day before our eight week
Speaker 1: ultrasound with this baby, I was bleeding. I had already
Speaker 1: been told I was having another miscarriage. It was a nightmare,
Speaker 1: but I just meditate. I listened to one of our
Speaker 1: meditations and I sat in a chair in our bedroom
Speaker 1: the night before and I just said please I I
Speaker 1: said it as if it was already happening. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is my baby, this is my baby, this is
Speaker 1: my healthy baby. I'm going to have this baby at
Speaker 1: the end of March, and that's that's it. Like I
Speaker 1: expect miracles and I deserved them. And I went into
Speaker 1: the ultrasound the next day and she was expect as
Speaker 1: the doctor who told me I was having another miscarriage,
Speaker 1: expecting to see nothing. And she was shocked, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you have an eight week and two day old baby
Speaker 1: and this looks amazing. She's like, I am shocked and
Speaker 1: I was like, I had in my mind to come
Speaker 1: in here and shock you. You told me I was
Speaker 1: having on the miscarriage. I'm not having another miscarriage. Wow,
Speaker 1: I want to cry. I just believed so hard. I
Speaker 1: felt it. Yeah, I felt it from the beginning. I
Speaker 1: was like, no, this is my baby. I've been feeling
Speaker 1: off a little bit too. You said you felt off
Speaker 1: a little bit in the other one. I've been feeling
Speaker 1: just unsure of myself, unsteady. I don't feel confident in it.
Speaker 1: I feel nervous. I'm surrounded by fear. I've seen a
Speaker 1: lot of other people have miscarriages. It's like we were
Speaker 1: talking about, it creeps into your psyche. It's like I
Speaker 1: haven't had a confident mindset about this, and I think
Speaker 1: that I need to change it. Yeah, but I said
Speaker 1: this earlier, and I battle with this because I don't
Speaker 1: really know the right answer. But I feel like with manifestation,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's that we're manifesting ourselves to lose babies.
Speaker 1: And that's another thing I got. You and I both
Speaker 1: shout manifestations from the rooftop, and it's here we both
Speaker 1: are in this situation. It's like there's no way. No,
Speaker 1: I wanted this, But did I do something mentally? No,
Speaker 1: I don't think that because I just don't think that
Speaker 1: it works that negatively. I think that that's the universe
Speaker 1: warning you that this is this is reality. Miscarriages are reality,
Speaker 1: and they happen all the time. You take that test
Speaker 1: and you get that you know sign that you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: you immediately immediately prepare a place in your heart for
Speaker 1: that child. And then that baby doesn't come, and it's
Speaker 1: it's heart it's heartbreaking. It's actually when you really want it,
Speaker 1: you really want it. That's that's also a difference because
Speaker 1: some women don't want babies, and maybe you know, they think,
Speaker 1: you know this good, this wasn't really my route in life.
Speaker 1: But when you really want that baby, it's heartbreaking. But
Speaker 1: you just have to you have to keep your head
Speaker 1: above water because there's nothing good for you down there,
Speaker 1: and that's going to help you. I love that you
Speaker 1: said feel it and then get out. Yeah, you have
Speaker 1: to feel it, and you have to become aware of it,
Speaker 1: and you have to get out because I remember my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I went over to her house and I was telling
Speaker 1: her how I'm like, man, I'm like scared. I didn't
Speaker 1: even want to come over here. She lived five minutes away.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was afraid I was going to
Speaker 1: die in the car coming over here. Like this just
Speaker 1: crazy like depression, weird thoughts. And she's like, Babe, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you should get pregnant right now, like
Speaker 1: in this space that you're in, this headspace, it might
Speaker 1: not be like a good environment to get pregnant. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, no, no, no, Mom has
Speaker 1: got to get out of this. This is okay. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying I am not going to settle here. This
Speaker 1: is not where it ends. That's how I feel. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I am not like building a house. There's no foundation
Speaker 1: being poured. I'm getting out of this space and I'm
Speaker 1: going to thrive and get my head on straight and
Speaker 1: feel happy about this process again and not be plagued
Speaker 1: with the fear. And that's how okay. And so you
Speaker 1: switched it. Yeah, and oh my god, I post I
Speaker 1: posted a blog post about my miscarriage. Does that free
Speaker 1: to say it all oud? Yeah? Yeah. Kristen Breast when
Speaker 1: she shared her story about her miscarriage, it just struck
Speaker 1: a chord in so many ways because I could relate.
Speaker 1: I could relate everything she said. I can relate. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's what's happening to me. I'm going through this and
Speaker 1: she helped me. She helped me in so many ways.
Speaker 1: But just by sharing her story help helped me so much.
Speaker 1: And I thought, I have to share my story because
Speaker 1: there are other women that are going through this or
Speaker 1: that might go through this, because it's reality. It happens.
Speaker 1: And I can't tell you how many women women came forward.
Speaker 1: And one woman seventeen times she lost a baby. There
Speaker 1: was something wrong with her blood and finally she got
Speaker 1: a hold of this one doctor and he fixed her
Speaker 1: and she has like three beautiful children. But just I
Speaker 1: give her so much respect, and like, how did she
Speaker 1: survive that? How do you survive that? But you just
Speaker 1: dig deep and you find the strength and you lock
Speaker 1: arms with these women and they help you get through
Speaker 1: it because because that's it, you have no other choice.
Speaker 1: You've got to keep on going. And that's what I did,
Speaker 1: and that's what I hope I can help other women do.
Speaker 1: And you you know, like you're going to share your
Speaker 1: story one day and you're gonna help somebody. And I
Speaker 1: appreciate you sharing this because when you're entering into this zone,
Speaker 1: it just feels very vulnerable, you know, like just so vulnerable.
Speaker 1: You're so because as women especially I know you and
Speaker 1: I know myself, we like to be in control. Yes, definitely,
Speaker 1: I'm in control this what wouldn't do? I got this
Speaker 1: and then this spens and you're like, oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's not what That wasn't my part of my plan
Speaker 1: at all. That is not what I was thinking was
Speaker 1: going to happen, or that was not on the schedule.
Speaker 1: But you that's the heart that was. I think it
Speaker 1: was a hard part because it's so out of your control. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So now that you're here, you're what what week are
Speaker 1: you now? It's twenty one weeks tomorrow and you just
Speaker 1: had an appointment and it was so fun. So now
Speaker 1: that you're here and you've had this amazing experience, now
Speaker 1: growing this spag do you know it's a girl or boy?
Speaker 1: We're not finding out. God, you're so crazy. I love it.
Speaker 1: So how has this felt like? How has your energy
Speaker 1: shifted and how have you been able to enjoy this ride? Well,
Speaker 1: it's been hard. It's continued work, like every day I worry.
Speaker 1: I mean, oh my god, you know, go to the
Speaker 1: bathroom and I wipe them like is there going to
Speaker 1: be blood? Like it's a thing. And I had to
Speaker 1: really talk myself off the ledge. And the one thing
Speaker 1: I tell myself probably every day is Jenna, this is
Speaker 1: not your last pregnancy. This is a different soul, this
Speaker 1: is a different story. You cannot live that space because
Speaker 1: I can't be I can't live in that space. Like
Speaker 1: you said, we're not building that house there now, We're
Speaker 1: moving on, We're on to the next phase. And you know,
Speaker 1: I fear. I fear crazy things. I fear something going
Speaker 1: wrong in the delivery room or like I won't even
Speaker 1: say things because I don't want to even put it
Speaker 1: out there. But I will always have that fear. And
Speaker 1: probably a lot of women who have had miscarriages that
Speaker 1: go on to have healthy pregnancies feel the same way.
Speaker 1: I worry about everything, but I'm just trying to do
Speaker 1: my best to remind myself that this is not the
Speaker 1: same baby. I was talking to my friend who has
Speaker 1: gone through UM a couple of minutes in miscarriages around
Speaker 1: seven weeks and she I was just telling her all
Speaker 1: my fears and like why I felt guilty about letting
Speaker 1: myself feel so sad because I hate feeling so sad
Speaker 1: because I'm always like, I fell I'm so blessed, Like
Speaker 1: even though this is sad, I shouldn't feel this sad,
Speaker 1: Like I'm so hard on myself and letting myself feel
Speaker 1: all the way. But she was like, I just hate
Speaker 1: to break to like you're probably you're going to enjoy pregnancy,
Speaker 1: but you're always gonna have like a little fear in
Speaker 1: the back of your head because you just know what
Speaker 1: can happen. I don't have just like this insane confidence
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to change it, but I just
Speaker 1: in the back of my mind, it's like, okay, what
Speaker 1: there are some things that can go wrong, and that
Speaker 1: tiny bit of fear can always creep in. Like you said,
Speaker 1: every time looking for blood, is it there? You just
Speaker 1: pulled your breath. Yeah, it's it's hard because I felt
Speaker 1: so looking back on my pregnancy with Wake like so naive.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I'm pregnant, We're gonna have his baby,
Speaker 1: and I did and everything was great, but then you know,
Speaker 1: things change, so you just have to you have to
Speaker 1: go through it, you have to feel it, you have
Speaker 1: to get through it. You gotta go through it, but
Speaker 1: you gotta get through it. How has it changed you
Speaker 1: for the better. It's made me just appreciate my son,
Speaker 1: and my husband and my friends, so my family, like
Speaker 1: everything so much more like a big time, and my
Speaker 1: health and like all of our health. Like just please
Speaker 1: donate to Wakespreads. We're doing a big donation for the
Speaker 1: kids at the hospital. I love that. So where do
Speaker 1: we donate? Um, I have we have a po box
Speaker 1: that we can do. We're taking brand new pajamas and
Speaker 1: brand new toys to donate to the kids at the
Speaker 1: hospital and Williamson. I love that. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just want to help because I feel like, yeah, Jenna,
Speaker 1: so it's unders kiss, underscore Jenna, Michelle underscore, Okay, And
Speaker 1: I want to help. Yeah, I just want to help
Speaker 1: because I feel so thankful that we have a healthy
Speaker 1: baby and you know, hopefully another healthy one on the way.
Speaker 1: And it's just made me feel like, so I got
Speaker 1: to do something for these kids and these families and
Speaker 1: these parents that that can't say that, you know, because
Speaker 1: I wish there was something else I could do other
Speaker 1: than go back to school and become a doctor. You know,
Speaker 1: we have a lot to give and we have a
Speaker 1: lot to be thankful for, so I want to help them. Jenna,
Speaker 1: You're amazing. Okay, So I always wrap every interview with
Speaker 1: leave your Light, which thank you so much for being
Speaker 1: so open about this topic and for helping me be open,
Speaker 1: because I literally when I went through this, I was
Speaker 1: not miscarring when I booked this um interview with you,
Speaker 1: and then when I did, I was like, you had
Speaker 1: shared with me when you had miscarried, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about this on my podcast, but
Speaker 1: it has to be with the right person who is
Speaker 1: open about it. But then also just it had to
Speaker 1: be you, Like, really, you were the one. I was like,
Speaker 1: I needed to talk to Jenna about this, and I'm
Speaker 1: just so grateful that you were willing to be open
Speaker 1: and honest because it's just such a fragile conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is. I I encourage women to talk about it
Speaker 1: because you can get really stuck inside your own self
Speaker 1: and you're not alone. You're not alone. It's unbelievable how
Speaker 1: many people came forward when I started talking about it
Speaker 1: to share their story. And not that misery loves company,
Speaker 1: but you just do feel like oh my god. Okay,
Speaker 1: so it isn't just me. It's not me, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: because you do, you put a lot of the blame
Speaker 1: on yourself, and some things just aren't meant to be.
Speaker 1: And I just kept reminding myself, like this is happening
Speaker 1: for a reason, and everything's going to be all right.
Speaker 1: That song is always on the radio when I'm going
Speaker 1: to my no Kenny Chestney, and yeah, you sing it
Speaker 1: because I can't say it's crazy and everything is going
Speaker 1: to be all right. It's gonna be all right. I
Speaker 1: got that tattoo on my arm. This is about Marley,
Speaker 1: three little birds. Every little thing is gonna be all right.
Speaker 1: Because I literally was like I need to see that
Speaker 1: every day. Yeah. That song came on when I was
Speaker 1: going to my eight week ultrasound with the miscarriage baby,
Speaker 1: so that's part of your signs. Yeah, And I thought,
Speaker 1: because I was so worried that I was going to
Speaker 1: miscarry anyway, and I'm going to the appointment, the songs
Speaker 1: on everything's going to be all right, And I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: everything's gonna be all right. And I went in there
Speaker 1: and she's like everything is not all right. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I couldn't even listen to that song for weeks. And
Speaker 1: the other day I was going to my appointment about
Speaker 1: to turn in and that song came off and stop
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, I'm not going to let
Speaker 1: this be a cause of fear. This is literally telling
Speaker 1: me I told you everything's going to be all right. Yes,
Speaker 1: look at you now you've got this baby. So you
Speaker 1: can't like let fear control you. There's always a positive choice.
Speaker 1: So in wrapping up, I always like to say, leave
Speaker 1: your light, your journey. You've had a wild journey. What
Speaker 1: is some inspiration you want to give people and just
Speaker 1: to encourage them and any It doesn't have to just
Speaker 1: be with pregnancy, but what do you want to inspire
Speaker 1: people to think and be? I just want people to
Speaker 1: be happy people and be kind to other people. And
Speaker 1: I feel like in general, you can always find positivity
Speaker 1: in anything. Like people are like I say about this
Speaker 1: place we're living in, this twenty one floor luxury condo
Speaker 1: downtown Nashville, complaining because we have to go down to
Speaker 1: the car and we can't remember where we parked and
Speaker 1: we have to put our groceries in a wagon. But
Speaker 1: like there are people it's like thirty four degrees outside
Speaker 1: sleeping on the streets like we're good. Like, just look
Speaker 1: for the positivity and everything, and your days will become
Speaker 1: a lot easier and you'll feel a lot better and lighter.
Speaker 1: Yeah so, and you do that better than anyone. You're
Speaker 1: like a sunbeam. Every time I see you, you have
Speaker 1: a huge smile on your face, your radiating happiness, like
Speaker 1: joy comes out of your eyes. You always are that way.
Speaker 1: I have my days. If you ask my husband, he'll
Speaker 1: tell you you're human. Great, I'm got a little bit
Speaker 1: of humanity. You gotta dig yourself, dig yourself out of
Speaker 1: that hole. Thank you Jennier for joining me. Thank you
Speaker 1: for having this conversation with appreciate. We're gonna do this
Speaker 1: again when you're all knocked up. Okay, we'll read, we'll
Speaker 1: come back around. We'll revisit this and sending you all
Speaker 1: the love. Thank you too. Okay, love you girl, can
Speaker 1: love you girl. Okay, thank you Jennas so much for
Speaker 1: joining me. That was such an emotional podcast. But I
Speaker 1: feel like this is such a conversation that needs to
Speaker 1: be had, So I'm so grateful Jenna was willing to
Speaker 1: share her story. So much love to her and for
Speaker 1: the Christmas holidays, I'm going to be taking a few
Speaker 1: weeks off. We will be back in the new year
Speaker 1: with some amazing more wives. I have Hailey Hubbard, be
Speaker 1: Cole Brittany Kelly, who are both the wives of Florida
Speaker 1: Georgia Line. I have Caitlin Brown who is married to
Speaker 1: Caine Brown. All joining me next year twenty nineteen, Oh
Speaker 1: my goodness, plus so many more will all be on
Speaker 1: my podcast. Thank you all so much for tuning in.
Speaker 1: Before we wrap, I want to tell you all about
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Speaker 1: looking good, especially for the holiday season. And thanks again
Speaker 1: for tuning in and for loving my podcast and all
Speaker 1: my guests for joining me. I'm just so grateful. I
Speaker 1: have the most amazing guests with the most amazing hearts
Speaker 1: and stories, and I'm so grateful that they're willing to
Speaker 1: share their souls with me. So we will see you
Speaker 1: in the new year. Peace, love and happiness, Happy holidays.
Speaker 1: The test d