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Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi you guys,

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Speaker 1: So I have a Tory story for you. Actually, my

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Speaker 1: boy Bessie, Brian Austin Green told me that I need

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Speaker 1: to tell this story, and he told me this is

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Speaker 1: my next toy story, so I'm going with it. So

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Speaker 1: this past weekend, Brian and I went to New York

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Speaker 1: on this top secret mission thing that's happening that I

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Speaker 1: can't talk about. That we had to sign all kinds

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Speaker 1: of NDAs and it's something really really cool and really

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Speaker 1: really special. So it kind of happened out of nowhere

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Speaker 1: and it's really awesome and you guys are gonna love

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Speaker 1: it and I can't wait to share it with you anyway. Okay,

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Speaker 1: bean gave me energy. Okay, I love work. Anyway. Ruthanne

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Speaker 1: and I flew from LA to New York. We've been

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Speaker 1: traveling all day and everything happened so fast. I was

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Speaker 1: like it was like one of those things like pack

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Speaker 1: a bag, get on the plane, and go. So I

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Speaker 1: actually didn't have any makeup on, and I had my

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Speaker 1: sunglasses and I had a beanie on. I was in

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Speaker 1: my sweats and we got to the hotel late at

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Speaker 1: night and Brian and his manager Tracy had gotten in

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Speaker 1: and they were like, oh, you know, we're at the

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Speaker 1: bar if you guys want to join us. And I

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Speaker 1: literally said to Ruthan like, oh my god, no, I

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Speaker 1: can't see Brian right now. I don't have makeup on.

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Speaker 1: Did I not say this, Ruthman, you totally said it.

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Speaker 1: I did.

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Speaker 2: I understood, not because I thought you didn't look amazing,

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Speaker 2: but I understand that feeling a female.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot of things as women that I

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Speaker 1: think we you know, my god, boys are so lucky.

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Speaker 1: But I actually have always loved the fact that, you know,

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Speaker 1: we do get to put on makeup, and we do

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Speaker 1: get to adjust how we appear to others physically, at

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Speaker 1: least I thought I did. So anyway, we check in

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: just tell them we're tired, and I just we're shooting

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Speaker 1: early in the morning, and all of a sudden, as

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Speaker 1: we go to the Elvare, I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: they're right there, and I'm like, okay, I want to

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Speaker 1: see Brian and Tracy. Anyway, so we go over and

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Speaker 1: it was it was one of those things that everything

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Speaker 1: happens for a reason. So we go over and we're

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Speaker 1: all like, you know, talking, and we're having a drink

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Speaker 1: and Brian and I decide to go to the bar.

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Speaker 1: So we go to the bar to get everyone another

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Speaker 1: round of drinks. And we were just having like one

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Speaker 1: or two drinks and then going to bed, and he

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Speaker 1: says to me at the bar, do you know I'm

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Speaker 1: not this isn't for batim, but basically, do you know

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Speaker 1: how pretty look with less makeup? And that tanks me

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, I knew this

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Speaker 1: was going to happen. And I turned into that sixteen

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Speaker 1: year old girl around Brian Green again, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I told Ruth and I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to see you tonight because I don't have makeup on.

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Speaker 1: And he's like that's ridiculous. He goes, you look so

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Speaker 1: beautiful with less makeup, and he's such a good man, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, he chose his words carefully, not no makeup,

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Speaker 1: he said, with less makeup. So I was like, gosh,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't see it. So we got

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Speaker 1: into this conversation about he said, you know, not only

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Speaker 1: do you look prettier, because we could see your face like,

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Speaker 1: but you look younger, and it became this whole thing.

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Speaker 1: We then got back to the table. Did we start

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Speaker 1: talking to you guys about it when we got back

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Speaker 1: to the table.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and Tracy and I concurred with Brian, but you

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Speaker 2: would never hear it from certainly you wouldn't hear it

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Speaker 2: from me.

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Speaker 1: Maybe a little bit from Tracy, but more so. And

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Speaker 1: what I ended up saying, and I don't know if

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Speaker 1: this is at the bar when we came back to

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Speaker 1: the table, was that I don't know, I feel like

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Speaker 1: I've been so conditioned my whole life being in the

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Speaker 1: public eye and having your looks just torn apart from

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Speaker 1: a young age. I mean literally, not literally like like

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Speaker 1: I don't know the moment it was, the exact moment.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 1: It was when I was seventeen and the Globe magazine

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Speaker 1: which doesn't even exist, but a tabloid, this is when

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Speaker 1: there were paper tabloids, came out with a story. It

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, the Inquirer, the Globe was like

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Speaker 1: it was a big one and nine, O two and

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Speaker 1: zero was in the Tayday. I was seventeen, though, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like the second season. Itd just blown up and

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Speaker 1: all these pictures of me, saying Tory Spelling has had

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Speaker 1: all this plastic surgery. I was like seventeen, Like I

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Speaker 1: had my nose done at sixteen, but like you know,

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Speaker 1: it's it. Keep in mind, you guys, this is the nineties,

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Speaker 1: not today, when you know there's so much available and

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Speaker 1: people do botox and they do all different things, starting young.

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Speaker 1: And it said a source says. They always say a

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Speaker 1: source says, which means no one really said it, but

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Speaker 1: possibly they showed pictures of me when I was like nine,

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Speaker 1: or when I was like twelve, and it says people

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Speaker 1: that went to high school with her knew her, and

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Speaker 1: elementary so she looks completely different. And it went on

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Speaker 1: to say things like I had had cheecken plants and

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Speaker 1: a chinen plant and ribs removed. It was the wildest thing.

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Speaker 1: And I'm looking at these pictures and I'm a seventeen

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Speaker 1: year old girl, and I had just gotten it from

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Speaker 1: the news stand, which doesn't really exist anymore in Westwood,

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Speaker 1: and I was driving back home. We had just moved

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Speaker 1: into the manor, so I was driving home and I

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Speaker 1: remember pulling into my parents' driveway and I called my dad.

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Speaker 1: He was at work, and I was in tears, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I don't know what

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Speaker 1: I'm seeing. But they're saying I've had all this plastic

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Speaker 1: surgery and like I've had nothing done. And my dad

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Speaker 1: was like, always the eternal optimist. He was like, Babe,

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Speaker 1: when they're talking about you, it's good press is press

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Speaker 1: bad or good, and they'll move on to someone else

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Speaker 1: next week. And I was like, okay, okay, let me

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Speaker 1: try to think of it that way. But it was

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Speaker 1: devastating because I want it to be like, first of all,

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Speaker 1: I look completely different. Was something wrong with me before?

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Speaker 1: You know, we have those like weird moments we go

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Speaker 1: through in life, like your formative years and you're like

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Speaker 1: a tween, like you know, I had like baby fat cheeks,

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Speaker 1: and you know, now my face was thinning out. But

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Speaker 1: I hadn't had cheek and plants, I hadn't had my

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Speaker 1: chin redone, and I certainly hadn't had ribs removed. I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, how do you even do that?

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Speaker 1: Like I'd always had a thin frame my dad and mom.

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Speaker 1: My dad was then my mom is thin, Like I

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Speaker 1: had not even thought about dieting or anything. But I'll

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Speaker 1: never forget that day because my dad said, don't worry,

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Speaker 1: they'll be on to someone else next week. But that

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Speaker 1: never went away, that story. And I know we're talking

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Speaker 1: about Brian and him saying I should wear less makeup,

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Speaker 1: but this is where it started, with me thinking I

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Speaker 1: needed to wear makeup. So I have to go back

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Speaker 1: to the beginning. But I was seventeen and the press

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Speaker 1: never let that go. I am fifty two right now,

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Speaker 1: and if you look up any comments about me, not

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Speaker 1: just from the press, like fans read into it, people

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Speaker 1: like my very existence is tory spelling. I remember I'd

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Speaker 1: read stuff when Michael Jackson was still alive, like the

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Speaker 1: only other person that's had more plastic surgery than Michael

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Speaker 1: Jackson is tory spelling it Like that one tabloid's story

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Speaker 1: stayed with me my entire life, and you know what,

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Speaker 1: it fucked me up, like it. Not only was I

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Speaker 1: like thrust into like stardom at an early age, living

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Speaker 1: out my bad moments good moments on TV for the world,

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Speaker 1: but I was a seventeen year old girl that didn't

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Speaker 1: think I looked bad. I didn't think I looked that bad.

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Speaker 1: I definitely had had my nose done, which you know,

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Speaker 1: at sixteen. Nowadays, I think that's way too young. But

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Speaker 1: back in the day, it was a it was a thing.

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Speaker 1: You know, when you turned sixteen, you know, disgussed it

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Speaker 1: with your parents and you got yours done. And other

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Speaker 1: than that, though I don't know, I was just like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I must be like a troll. I

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Speaker 1: must be the ugliest human alive if they think I've

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Speaker 1: had to have all this stuff to even be where

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Speaker 1: I am now. And then the comments just kept going.

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Speaker 1: And as much as I say I have thick skin, like,

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Speaker 1: it really stayed with me my whole life, to the

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Speaker 1: point where people still say on comments on my Instagram,

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Speaker 1: I post something like, oh my gosh, lay off the filler,

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Speaker 1: lay off the bowtox. Stop getting so much plastic surgery.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not supposed to interact with people saying, you know,

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Speaker 1: mean things. I'm sped to just take it on the chin, right,

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Speaker 1: But I haven't had my chin done. I don't have

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Speaker 1: filler like I have no filler in my face, you

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Speaker 1: guys like I've had botox. So I went the other direction.

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Speaker 1: I feel I at fifty two, I look at all

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Speaker 1: this stuff on social media. I see women my age

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Speaker 1: that have had lasers done, they've had you know, they've

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Speaker 1: had lower face lifts, they've had things done. I've had

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Speaker 1: nothing done because I'm so terrified of what people will

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Speaker 1: say because they already say I had stuff done that

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Speaker 1: I haven't had done. So I'm like super careful. Like

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Speaker 1: when I get my boatox and I do I get botox,

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Speaker 1: I'm always like, don't do too much. People think I've

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Speaker 1: had something else done. Like it has really messed me

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Speaker 1: up of how I perceive myself. And I think makeup

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Speaker 1: plays into that because I always thought, gosh, I must

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Speaker 1: be unattractive, and in order to be attractive, what does

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Speaker 1: a female do? Oh, we have that choice. We can

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Speaker 1: add makeup, we can put on a quote unquote beauty mask. Right.

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Speaker 1: So I always wore a lot of makeup, and you

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Speaker 1: know now that, especially in the last year, the whole

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Speaker 1: you know, Pamela Anderson and the whole no makeup look

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Speaker 1: is back in. That messed me up too, because I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, I'm trying to change with

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Speaker 1: the times. I don't even feel comfortable wearing, you know,

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Speaker 1: less meat. So yeah, that's where that started and Brian

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Speaker 1: said you should try it, and he's like, you should

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Speaker 1: try wearing less makeup, and I was like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know where I would start. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I actually love makeup the application. I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: really good at it. And it's so it is an

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Speaker 1: expression on one hand, like I get my nails done

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Speaker 1: and I get, you know, crazy nails. Sometimes I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that's me expressing myself. So I do do like good

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Speaker 1: eye makeup, and when I do a lot of eye makeup,

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Speaker 1: I'm expressing myself. But that's not completely true. After we talked,

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Speaker 1: I was like, no, I'm hiding myself. So's it's both

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Speaker 1: at the same time. And we were about to do

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Speaker 1: this big thing and I was like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: really and he said, well, you know, maybe just don't

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Speaker 1: do everything at once, like do like if you're married

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Speaker 1: to doing a lot of eyes, do less foundation. I

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Speaker 1: was like, but my skin, and my skin is terrible,

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Speaker 1: and he's like, your skin is great, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm so confused, Like I don't know

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Speaker 1: what I'm looking at when I look in the mirror

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Speaker 1: that I'm seeing things that other people don't see, and

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Speaker 1: I trust Brian with my life, so if someone randomly

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Speaker 1: tells me this, and of course, you know, I'm thinking

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Speaker 1: that whole thing, like, oh, men always say they like

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Speaker 1: women with less makeup, So I'm like, are you sure

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Speaker 1: it's not just that guy thing, because I've heard this before.

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Speaker 1: I've heard it from my ex husband, I've heard it

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Speaker 1: from the guys i've been with, like you look so

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Speaker 1: pretty with no makeup, and I'm like, they don't mean it.

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Speaker 1: He's like, no, you really do. So long story short,

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Speaker 1: we did this big, top secret thing the next day,

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Speaker 1: and I definitely came into it with the mindset of

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Speaker 1: you know, me go you know, go big or go home.

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Speaker 1: So I wasn't like, let me try this out on

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Speaker 1: an Instagram photo. I chose to choose like this huge

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Speaker 1: project to be like, I'm gonna were less makeup. So

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Speaker 1: I did, and Brian and I were on set and

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Speaker 1: I was like so, and he's like, you look beautiful.

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Speaker 1: You wore less makeup and you look so good. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, he goes, how does it feel? And

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Speaker 1: I go, I actually feel pretty good? And I noticed

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Speaker 1: the podcast so you can only see the social clips,

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Speaker 1: but I'm literally wearing basically no makeup today. Wow, it

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Speaker 1: really helps my schedule because I can get so much

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Speaker 1: more done if I don't have to take like thirty

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Speaker 1: months in my makeup. But I really did like how

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Speaker 1: I looked, and it just like But then we came

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Speaker 1: back from this project and I was on Instagram and

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Speaker 1: I'm seeing all these people with you know, the majorly

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Speaker 1: defined eyebrows and the eye makeup, and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: but isn't that the look that looks better on me?

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Speaker 1: And anyway, I'm talking to you guys about it because

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Speaker 1: I'm a little confused. So it's I'm in the moment

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Speaker 1: of going through this process and I thought, well, I

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Speaker 1: tell you guys everything. I'm an open book now, an

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Speaker 1: open face with no makeup. But it's so I don't

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Speaker 1: know him, and where did I land on that. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, to be honest, but I think it's an

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Speaker 1: important conversation, not just for me, like it's a conversation

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Speaker 1: all women. Chef my sixteen year old daughter, she gets

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Speaker 1: up an hour and a half before school every day

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Speaker 1: to do her makeup. She does amazing makeup, like the

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Speaker 1: most gorgeous eyes, and for her, I get it because

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Speaker 1: she's very creative and part of her she's like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure do I want to do I want to

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Speaker 1: be a baker, Do I want to be a makeup artist?

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Speaker 1: Like she has so many different things, a fashion design,

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Speaker 1: She's so good at everything that I tell her. I

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Speaker 1: remember we we had to go somewhere recently and she's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know any makeup on. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: you look beautiful without makeup. And I heard myself, this

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Speaker 1: is before Brian told me the other day, this is

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Speaker 1: like two weeks ago. And I heard myself saying what

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Speaker 1: I have been told before by other people. Don't worry

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Speaker 1: about it. You look beautiful without makeup. And I stopped

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Speaker 1: myself and I said, I get it though, because I do.

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Speaker 1: Does she look gorgeous with not a stitch of makeup? Unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: She's also sixteen, Like it's harder for me at fifty

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Speaker 1: two to rationalize now being like, no, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to wear makeup. But I get it. It's a real

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Speaker 1: thing once it's in your head. And we have social media,

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Speaker 1: like we see all this stuff where like it's a

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Speaker 1: tough thing and it's like to makeup or not makeup?

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Speaker 1: What is the answer, And I don't know. I'm not sure,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not sure if I look in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, I look younger without makeup, I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure I see what Brian sees. But I definitely

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Speaker 1: there's something to it. And I wonder at fifty two, like,

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Speaker 1: can I readjust my brain to actually see something that

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen all these years, something that's part of me?

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Speaker 1: And is that part of self growth and loving yourself?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm posing all these questions that I

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Speaker 1: don't have answers to because it's happening in the moment

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Speaker 1: right now. Brian's gonna be so proud I did this

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Speaker 1: podcast with no makeup today. But here I am, and like,

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Speaker 1: I guarantee you guys, if I put a picture of

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Speaker 1: myself on social today with no makeup, people will still

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Speaker 1: be like, look at all the plastic surgery she's had done.

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Speaker 1: People will listen to this podcast and will hear me

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Speaker 1: say the words I have not had all this work

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Speaker 1: done that I'm like supposedly had all these years, and

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Speaker 1: they will still choose to believe an article that came

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Speaker 1: out when I was seventeen years old. It's just like

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Speaker 1: this thing that has stayed with me my entire life.

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Speaker 1: I wish I could shed it, Like I'm sure one

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Speaker 1: day I'll want to have something done in my face,

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to be scared not to because

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Speaker 1: I'm scared what people are going to think because they

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Speaker 1: already think it, Or do I just do it because

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Speaker 1: they already assume I've done it? Anyway, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's such an odd thing, what an odd conversation.

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Speaker 3: No, Yeah, I think I think most women grapple with this.

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Speaker 3: You know, in a perfect world, the rule would be

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Speaker 3: you do what makes you feel good about you, not

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Speaker 3: because you're responding to negative feedback if you don't, or

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Speaker 3: even negative feedback in your head.

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Speaker 2: But that's easier said than done. You know, it'd be

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Speaker 2: great if every time somebody said, oh, you look great

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Speaker 2: without makeup, or you look you know, you look young,

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Speaker 2: or whatever, we believed it. I mean, I think the

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Speaker 2: problem is more what goes on inside our heads as

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Speaker 2: opposed to what the external is saying. And that's work

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Speaker 2: everybody has to do on themselves.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really hard in a world where we're shown

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Speaker 1: to extremes right now, right like there's people that were

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Speaker 1: a lot of makeup, Like not that they don't look great,

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Speaker 1: but like the Kardashians set a whole trend with makeup,

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Speaker 1: you know, with that that look, you know, and it

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Speaker 1: was definitely major makeup, defined contouring eyes, and you know what,

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Speaker 1: Sometimes when I watch their show and there's some scenes

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Speaker 1: where they have no makeup on They've just spontaneously done it,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I say the same thing. I'm like, Kim

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Speaker 1: looks so pretty with no makeup, and I'm like thinking,

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Speaker 1: in my head, oh my god, this is the age

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Speaker 1: old thing, Like what is it? So it's either you

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Speaker 1: wear all that makeup and you look great, or now

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Speaker 1: you wear no makeup and you're just like this is me,

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Speaker 1: you know, and this is my age. And so what's

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Speaker 1: the in between? I don't know. And we're always depending

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Speaker 1: on society to tell us like, oh, this is in

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Speaker 1: right now. So I don't know, no makeup's in right now,

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Speaker 1: but like in a year, it might be something completely different.

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Speaker 1: So I understand you're supposed to do what works best

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Speaker 1: for you, but it's really hard, I think in life.

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Speaker 1: I'm not just saying because I'm in the public eye, Like, no,

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Speaker 1: I am saying because I'm in the public eye. I

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Speaker 1: want to apologize for a second. Sorry, like how I

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Speaker 1: tried to do that, Like it's not about me, No,

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Speaker 1: it is. It's much harder having been in people's living room,

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Speaker 1: you know, since I was a teenager. Now I do

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Speaker 1: a rewatch, you know, watching myself back as a teenager, thinking,

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Speaker 1: I do think when I watched nine o two one,

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Speaker 1: oh and Jenny and Amy, and I watch it back

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Speaker 1: on nine O two one. OMG, I do watch Donna

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Speaker 1: through a different lens now, and I definitely am able

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Speaker 1: to see now because I know then I used to

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Speaker 1: cry in the makeup chair. I used to cry. And

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Speaker 1: I remember my makeup artist, Nick I had a male,

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Speaker 1: a straight male makeup artist that was very and back then,

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Speaker 1: and he was married with kids, and I would just

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Speaker 1: be hysterically crying. I had some bad boyfriend that told

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Speaker 1: me I was ugly. I'm working with these gorgeous women.

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Speaker 1: That article had come out saying, oh, she's ugly and

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Speaker 1: she's had all this plastic surgery. And I'm sitting here

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Speaker 1: on this huge TV show and I would just cry

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Speaker 1: and cry all my makeup off and he'd have to

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Speaker 1: put it back on, and I remember him saying, You're

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Speaker 1: you're going to fall in love with yourself more as

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Speaker 1: you get older. You're such a beautiful girl, and you're

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Speaker 1: only going to age even better, and you're gonna look

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Speaker 1: at yourself. He would say, like thirty years around and

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Speaker 1: be like, oh my gosh, and feel comfortable with yourself.

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Speaker 1: And here I am, you know, thirty plus years later,

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Speaker 1: and I'm still not comfortable with myself. But I am

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Speaker 1: able to watch Donna back and know the heartache I

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Speaker 1: went through feeling like I had to keep up with

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Speaker 1: the other girls, feeling like I had to look as

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Speaker 1: pretty as them or maybe I wouldn't be light. And

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Speaker 1: it was really hard for a young girl, where you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm watching my daughter the same age, and they're worried

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Speaker 1: about how they look, but they're worried about how their

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Speaker 1: friends at school look. I had to worry about the

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Speaker 1: way millions perceived me and didn't perceive me, and it

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Speaker 1: was a hard thing. But I watched Donna now and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you were so pretty. Like I'm able to

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Speaker 1: separate it and watch the show as a fan. Now,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, Donna Martin, you're a really pretty girl. Akay,

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Speaker 1: that's Tory spelling, you were a really pretty girl, and

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Speaker 1: I wish I don't believe in regrets. Everything's your journey,

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Speaker 1: but I do wish that I could go back and

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Speaker 1: tell that girl like, you're pretty, like, don't listen to

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Speaker 1: what people say, like, and I wish I could make

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Speaker 1: her love herself then, because it'd be a whole different

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Speaker 1: ballgame now for me. Yeah, because it's funny. I'll watch

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Speaker 1: Donna then me as a teenager, me in my early

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Speaker 1: twenties and be like, oh, you were so pretty, like

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Speaker 1: you didn't need all that makeup, And I wish I

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Speaker 1: had loved myself. But I look at Tory now in

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Speaker 1: the mirror and I'm like, no, I don't see it.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know. It's a lot of ketchup work

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Speaker 1: you have to do. I don't know if you ever

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Speaker 1: get there. It'd be nice to get there. Oh that'd

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Speaker 1: be so nice. It'd be so nice to look in

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Speaker 1: the mirror and be like cool, feeling good up, rock on.

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Speaker 1: And I have a lot of respect for people that

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Speaker 1: can do that, and I aim to get there one day. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing this podcast. You'll hear most of it, see

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Speaker 1: the social clips. But I have to watch myself the

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Speaker 1: entire time. So I'm literally looking into my computer on

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Speaker 1: my zoom speaking to myself and I'm sitting here with

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Speaker 1: no makeup, and I'm like, I'm getting through it. I'm

401
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Speaker 1: not like, I, do you have a ringlin Maybe that's

402
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: helped me. Maybe I could just take like a personal

403
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Speaker 1: ring light through life that like eased me into it.

404
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 1: I wish Brian had been honest today because I'm forgetting

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Speaker 1: all the good stuff he said to me, because it

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Speaker 1: made me so nervous having that conversation. And then the

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Speaker 1: next night we're at dinner and he was like, so,

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Speaker 1: he's like, you need to tell this story, your tory

409
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,479
Speaker 1: story about this because that's so important for you know,

410
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: everyone to hear, like the struggles that people go through

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Speaker 1: with the identity of what they see in the mirror

412
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Speaker 1: versus what other people see, and how that's a reflection

413
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Speaker 1: of like how you feel inside. And I was like, wow,

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Speaker 1: that just got real deep for me. He's like, yeah,

415
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Speaker 1: and that's okay. Live in that like uncomfortable zone. You

416
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Speaker 1: don't always have to be funny. And I was like, yeah,

417
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Speaker 1: and that's another thing, like I have made up for

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Speaker 1: what I perceive not being the prettiest girl, but I'm

419
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Speaker 1: the funniest girl, like so I throw out humor with

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Speaker 1: everything and at that point, you know, at some point

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Speaker 1: that kind of gets old too, Like it's hard to

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Speaker 1: sit with yourself, like be vulnerable, and it's an intimate

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Speaker 1: place and it's wildly uncomfortable. But as a mom of

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Speaker 1: five kids and two girls, like, I want to get there.

425
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 1: I want to get there so I can support them

426
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 1: as they're like going through these years and putting on

427
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 1: makeup or not putting on makeup or yeah, well for

428
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 1: whatever it's worth you, Yeah, look beautiful today.

429
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 2: And I know you always say well with Anne, either

430
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: you're blind or which.

431
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 3: She is, She's always think that, but it's true.

432
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: And I think I see you as most people see you.

433
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 2: So again, it's just about you seeing it in yourself

434
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 2: and personally, I don't think you have to commit to

435
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 2: one thing or the other. You know, there are days

436
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 2: you feel like doing yourself up. You do it.

437
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: There are days you're.

438
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 2: Like, I don't have time.

439
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,439
Speaker 1: And you don't, but hope it's true to the world.

440
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,440
Speaker 2: Not feeling horrible about yourself on those days that you don't.

441
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 1: I just wish the world was kinder. Well, we all

442
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: wish the world was kinder, but people don't realize the

443
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:53,159
Speaker 1: impact that words have. Like when words are said, you

444
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 1: can't unhear them. If they're in print, you can't unsee them.

445
00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: And that's why people say, you know, lead by your actions,

446
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: not your words. But it's just like it's a tough one.

447
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: So you know, like I when I leave the house,

448
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: like I want to go to the grocery store, Like

449
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 1: a month ago or two months ago, I went to

450
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 1: the Trader Joe's picking up like food for my kids

451
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 1: to make dinner. And I didn't see them, but some

452
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 1: paparazzi got a picture of me and it was like, ooh,

453
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,199
Speaker 1: look at her without makeup, And I was like, fuck, Like,

454
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to live like it's not it's just

455
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 1: a weird, weird fucking world we live in all around.

456
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: But it's like and maybe this wouldn't come up for

457
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 1: me as much, but it's it. Definitely. I'm really working

458
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 1: on myself and my growth being now my fifties and

459
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 1: single again, single not married. I was married for you know,

460
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: eighteen years, and you know, it was so lost in

461
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:01,199
Speaker 1: my relationship and the identity of being everyone you know,

462
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 1: a mom, a wife, an actress, reality start just making

463
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,920
Speaker 1: it all happen that you know. And I've talked about

464
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: this a lot, like I don't have me time, I've

465
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 1: lost all that, but like I lost a big chunk

466
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 1: of myself and I'm really trying now to find who

467
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 1: that person is. And it's just in the midst of

468
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: trying to find yourself in your fifties, which is not

469
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 1: the age I think we're supposed to be trying to

470
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: find ourselves. I mean, there's no age, I guess, but

471
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 1: it's like I definitely like it's it's a tough one.

472
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 1: But I heard Brian's words. I heard them. I couldn't

473
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 1: unhear them, and they impacted me because it wasn't coming

474
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 1: from someone that was just you know, oh, you're an actress,

475
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: you're pretty, like you don't need makeup. So someone that

476
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 1: has been my friend and family since I was sixteen

477
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 1: years old, and what he says matters. And I'm kind

478
00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: of shocked because like my husband would tell me this

479
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: over the years and I would be like, I don't

480
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,919
Speaker 1: believe you. You're just saying that you're in love with me,

481
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: So like you don't. You can't. You can't see what's

482
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 1: really there. But I heard what Brian said, like it

483
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 1: really impacted me on such a deep level. So yeah,

484
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: I'm definitely going to keep wearing makeup because I love

485
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 1: doing my eyes like, I love doing that, and I'm

486
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 1: not taking out my extensions. Rod Pick could tell me

487
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 1: I look good without extensions, and I'm not doing that.

488
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: I mean maybe for brod pet, I don't know, baby steps.

489
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:36,120
Speaker 1: So yeah, it will be interesting when you guys all

490
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 1: hear this podcast, because I'll go on social media and

491
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 1: can't wait to hear the fun stuff you guys are

492
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 1: going to say. I mean, actually, if you're all listening

493
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 1: to this podcast, you like me and you find me

494
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,640
Speaker 1: relatable and I'm part of your world, so thank you.

495
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: But it's the others you have to worry about.

496
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 2: Just remember one thing, m look where the globe is

497
00:26:55,880 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 2: now after speaking unfavorably about you, so lesson there.

498
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: I don't think that had anything to do with me. No,

499
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 1: but they just went under eventually.

500
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 2: Well they start because they were, you know, shitting on

501
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 2: young girls, which is just not okay no matter who you.

502
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 1: Are or what you look like. So oh, it's so

503
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 1: interesting you say that because they got no backlash over it.

504
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 1: But you're right, they were talking about an underage girl

505
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: in her looks but no one but that's kind of

506
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: the media anyway, and no one says anything.

507
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 2: I think there's pushback more and more, you.

508
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: Think, I hope, So I don't know. And there's this

509
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: there's so much readily available to transform yourself that it's

510
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 1: just hard to be like on that. I don't know,

511
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: on the bandwagon of no, no, no, no, this is

512
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: me and I'm proud of me. Like that's a tough one.

513
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: There's so many viable things that we can transform ourselves

514
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: with now. I mean, you and I were talking on

515
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 1: the way back from the airport. That's like on social

516
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 1: media we were seeing like all you know, new plastic

517
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: surgery and you know, people in their like seventies and

518
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 1: eighties are looking like they're in their forties. And we

519
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: both had a moment We're like, we're screwed, right, And

520
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 1: I was like, how do I get some of that?

521
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,640
Speaker 1: But you're right, I know, And I, on the other hand,

522
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: was like, and I can never get any of that

523
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 1: because people already say I've had plastic surgery, so I

524
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: just have to stay just like this out of fear

525
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: that the what they're already saying it, I don't have

526
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: time to get plastic surgery.

527
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 2: But like, well, the crazy thing is, and this just

528
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 2: goes back to the beginning of this is you don't

529
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: need it.

530
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: You look so much younger than you are.

531
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 2: You are blessed with amazing genes, you know, and you've

532
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 2: taken care of your skin, and you're a beautiful girl.

533
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 2: Not that you see it, but the truth is, you

534
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 2: have all of that going for you, and you do

535
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 2: look beautiful without makeup, and you look beautiful with makeup.

536
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 2: The challenge is believing believing it for yourself, and that

537
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 2: is just not an easy thing to do.

538
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 1: No, not like my Instagram, Like my Instagram thinks I

539
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: want to see like those masks and like under eye patches.

540
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but they keep putting them on

541
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 1: my for you page and it's very like I buy

542
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: into it too. I'm like, oh my gosh, the glass

543
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: skin look. I'm like, cool, that looks great. Like I

544
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: don't know have not Like I don't do any lasers.

545
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 1: I don't do any of that stuff. This was to

546
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: tighten your skin. I don't do it. Like it sounds good,

547
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: be nice to have glass skin, Like you don't have

548
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: to have plastic surgery, just glass skin. But it's like

549
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 1: it's so they make you believe it. It's it's like it's

550
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 1: like they draw you in, like, oh, I must need that. Wait,

551
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: so you're saying I don't have to get like lasers

552
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 1: or plastic surgery. I could just have glass skin with

553
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 1: just a mask I put on for twenty minutes, for

554
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: twenty nine ninety five. Wow, and I can get a bogo.

555
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, yes, I'm in Like it is just wild.

556
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: Now. The truth is, we don't know how much of

557
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 2: those images have been done, you know, any of them,

558
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 2: all of them. You have no idea unless you see

559
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 2: somebody in person what it really looks like.

560
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: That's the problem. No one's in today's age, Like nobody

561
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 1: really has to see anybody in person anymore, except if

562
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: you're fifty two and single and suddenly you have to

563
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: date again. Budge, It's like, wow, that's an interesting concept. Yeah,

564
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: But like last week I bought the zombie mask, Like

565
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be buying something that is called the zombie mask,

566
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 1: Like that's not good for my self esteem and I

567
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 1: was like, what is this new trend, the zombie mask? Oh,

568
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: Kardashians wore it, Click Apple Pay, I'm in and I

569
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 1: bought it. I'll tell you what it's like when it

570
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: gets here. I have no idea. And you know, I

571
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 1: tried that snail secretion mask. That was pretty good, though.

572
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 1: That scared me. It like hydrated my skin though, like

573
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 1: it did it did? It felt hydrated. Oh boy, you guys.

574
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 1: It just scares me because I'm like, what is it

575
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: going to be like for my kids, my six year

576
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: old and my thirteen year old when they're in their

577
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 1: forties and fifties, Like I can't even imagine, Like look

578
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 1: at Ai now, Like what we can do. We will

579
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: never have to worry about any of this. Maybe it'll

580
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 1: be a button in your face, will just be a

581
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: computerized version of yourself at sixteen when you're in your forties. Great,

582
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: oh boy, now I'm going down this rabbit. Sign me up, Steve,