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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweetie. Today,

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Speaker 1: I have.

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Speaker 2: With me my brother from another mother, the man behind

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Speaker 2: Car Chronicles, mar Keith Parson.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy here today.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: I had to because so many people don't know your story.

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Speaker 2: You know, I've known you since college.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, since two thousand and four.

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Speaker 1: Is a yeah, like two thousand and four through our

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Speaker 1: mutual friend we met.

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Speaker 2: Then you you're from Memphis, I'm from Martin and we met,

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Speaker 2: and then when we moved to Atlanta, Keiva again reintroduced us.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, you guys need to hang out.

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Speaker 2: And we're closer than brother and sister. Literally, you're like

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Speaker 2: one of my closest, closest.

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Speaker 3: Friends, but you're closer.

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Speaker 1: Sister.

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Speaker 2: Yes, So I want to bring you on because you

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Speaker 2: have been through so much. And when I think of

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Speaker 2: everything you've been, I think of our favorite.

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Speaker 4: Song what we say, look at God, and it got

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Speaker 4: a little something like this, sitting here.

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Speaker 3: Counting my blessings. Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 1: Ain't no need for in my life my.

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Speaker 3: Weapons. Yeah, but I know.

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Speaker 4: I'm protected by the blood, protected by the love of God, grace.

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Speaker 5: And mercy on the staves taking me high, just nice

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Speaker 5: grave and every time I turn up, you got the rest.

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Speaker 3: You keep blessing me, blessed him.

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Speaker 4: Look, God, no, seriously, though, it was a time in

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Speaker 4: your life, because I've known you for a long time

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Speaker 4: where I literally felt like you were going through so much.

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Speaker 1: If I had to compare you to somebody in the Bible.

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Speaker 3: It was job Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, my goodness, like this kid cannot

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Speaker 1: catch a break.

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Speaker 2: It was one thing after another. So I wanted to

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Speaker 2: bring you on because you've been open.

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Speaker 1: About your heart attack.

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Speaker 2: Can you just like, because that's one thing you're super

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Speaker 2: passionate about. Yeah, And that was one of the I

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Speaker 2: guess the beginning of the job. Yes, I feel like

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Speaker 2: that was the beginning where.

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Speaker 6: I was just like, yeah, yeah, twenty seventeen, my joints

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Speaker 6: were inflamed. I could barely walk, I couldn't sit down.

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Speaker 6: Everything just was hurting. I spent a week in the

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Speaker 6: doc in the hospital, and they couldn't tell me what

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Speaker 6: was wrong. They sent all these different type of doctors

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Speaker 6: doing all types of tests, and at the time I

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Speaker 6: was in Memphis visiting, and I was like, just give

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Speaker 6: me back to Atlanta. I know they're going to figure

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Speaker 6: it out. Yes, yes, just give me back to Atlanta.

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Speaker 6: And so got back to Atlanta. My primary doctor sent

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Speaker 6: me to a romantologist and that was the start of

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Speaker 6: my heart situation. But I didn't know that I had issues.

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Speaker 6: They just put me on steroids for like nine weeks

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Speaker 6: and so the inflammation went down. I got fresh new

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Speaker 6: layer of skin and all of that stuff. So that

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Speaker 6: was in October of twenty seventeen. And then I had

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Speaker 6: my heart attack in December of twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 6: I just kept saying that my chest was hurting, and

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Speaker 6: I went to the doctor because I was at a funeral,

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Speaker 6: and that's when I first had my cardiac episode.

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Speaker 3: But didn't know that it was.

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Speaker 6: A kardiak episode because they said that there was no

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Speaker 6: blockage in my heart. And the week of Christmas, So

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Speaker 6: that was the week of Christmas.

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Speaker 3: So not even a week.

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Speaker 6: Later, I had the massive heart attack. And I was

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Speaker 6: thirty six. I had just turned thirty six. It wasn't

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Speaker 6: even thirty six for a good month yet. Wow, And

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Speaker 6: so thirty six. You know, every year I have a

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Speaker 6: theme for my birthday, so thirty six was I just

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Speaker 6: kept saying rebirth, rebirth. I did a whole photoshoot of

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Speaker 6: me like literally in the ground, covered in mush and everything,

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Speaker 6: and I just felt like I didn't know what God

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Speaker 6: was going to do, but I knew that he was

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Speaker 6: birthing some out of me because of everything that I

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Speaker 6: had went through in the real estate world. It's like

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Speaker 6: a roller coaster, you know, the government controls the raids.

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Speaker 6: It's been layoffs, so I had to quit jobs, you know,

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Speaker 6: with no job, you know. So I just was like,

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Speaker 6: I know that God I was going to do a

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Speaker 6: new thing, but I just don't know what that is.

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Speaker 6: So I titled that rebirth. And I literally did have

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Speaker 6: a rebirth because once I arrived to the hospital, I

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Speaker 6: was already gone. So they worked and worked and worked

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Speaker 6: on me. And I woke up and the first thing

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Speaker 6: I explored was a ginger real.

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Speaker 3: Like I needed to birth. I was confused. I didn't

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Speaker 3: know what was going on in all that camp exert.

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Speaker 6: I need a ginger Rell. I need a ginger Rell.

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Speaker 6: But yeah, that was the start of it. My grandfather

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Speaker 6: passed away at thirty six with a heart attack. I

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Speaker 6: was thirty six when I had mine. His was an

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Speaker 6: open heart surgery.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, it changed my life, you know.

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Speaker 6: I tell people all the time, me having a heart

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Speaker 6: attack was the best thing that could have ever happened

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Speaker 6: to me, because prior to that, I was like a

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Speaker 6: little firecracker.

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Speaker 3: You know, I've calmed down. You know, look got no

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Speaker 3: you have.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, but it really has helped me value life, value

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Speaker 6: my friendships. I'm big on showing up you are. You know,

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Speaker 6: if my friends need me to do something, I'm there

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Speaker 6: to do it.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna execute it. I execute their stuff.

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Speaker 6: Better than I execute my own stuff, so, you know,

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Speaker 6: because I don't want to let y'all down.

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Speaker 1: So that's Yeah, You're an amazing friend. I appreciate thank

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Speaker 1: you like I do. I can depend on you so much.

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Speaker 2: I've made you like the executive of the house, like

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Speaker 2: everything that deals with the house Marquis is over there

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Speaker 2: because I'm like, I know, I can trust you with

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Speaker 2: my whole life. Yes, And it's hard to come by

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Speaker 2: people like that, It really is. After it's been a

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Speaker 2: lot of transition, just even like from health and you're

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Speaker 2: working out more. Yes, at such a young age, having

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Speaker 2: a massive heart attack. I'm so glad that we can

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Speaker 2: even use this platform to share the people because a

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Speaker 2: lot of people think heart attacks happened to older people,

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Speaker 2: but CIX have proven that it's happening to you.

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Speaker 6: Yes, and especially with COVID. Emory is currently doing that well.

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Speaker 6: They've been doing a study of my heart for the

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Speaker 6: last four years. But but triggered the heart attack was COVID.

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Speaker 6: We didn't even they didn't don't, yes, and so COVID

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Speaker 6: was the triggering. Then a lot of people have had

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Speaker 6: heart attacks post COVID and didn't even know that they

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Speaker 6: had underlying conditions or it was hereditary. My case, mine

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Speaker 6: was hereditary. It skipped my my, my dad and his

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Speaker 6: siblings and went immediately to my brothers and I And

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Speaker 6: so yeah, it's that's why it's important to you know,

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Speaker 6: get physicals ex doctors, Hey can I get can you

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Speaker 6: check my calcium levels or can you give me a

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Speaker 6: coronary calcium skin And they considered that like a calcium

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Speaker 6: score and it'll tell you like the plaque build up

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Speaker 6: and if you're on the verge of having a heart

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Speaker 6: attack or if there's something that they can stop prior

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Speaker 6: to you having it. And that test runs like one

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Speaker 6: hundred to four hundred dollars and most insurance companies don't

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Speaker 6: even cover it.

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Speaker 1: Are getting that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, how and why.

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Speaker 6: When it's the number one killer amongst African Americans, you know,

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Speaker 6: like one hundred dollars. And that's when my Beat It

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Speaker 6: Foundation kicks in and we offer that test. Like though

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Speaker 6: we provide the funds for them to have the test,

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Speaker 6: but mainly knowing what questions to ask when you're you know,

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Speaker 6: getting a physical. Hey, can you just check my causele

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Speaker 6: level levels.

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Speaker 2: Let's talk about your beat It Foundation. You start the foundation,

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Speaker 2: because just give me like the backstory and the meaning

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Speaker 2: behind beat it.

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Speaker 6: Okay, So initially beat it started after I have my

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Speaker 6: heart attack twenty nineteen, but I just sat on it.

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Speaker 3: Guy gave it to me, but I didn't.

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Speaker 6: Know what to do, like how to file a five

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Speaker 6: OHO one C three and all of that stuff. I'm like,

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Speaker 6: I know this is what I'm supposed to do. But

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Speaker 6: at that time, beat it for me was no matter

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Speaker 6: what you go through.

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Speaker 3: You can beat it. Say, for instance, you lose a job.

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Speaker 6: Say for instance, you you know you you lose a

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Speaker 6: loved one. You know, I hadn't experienced I've experienced enough,

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Speaker 6: but I hadn't experienced.

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Speaker 3: A lot at that time.

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Speaker 6: I just knew that, Yes, I just knew that God

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Speaker 6: had told me that I needed to start this foundation,

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Speaker 6: didn't know what to do and how it would how

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Speaker 6: to get it the ball rolling, and so sat on

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Speaker 6: it half the name and then my brother had his

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Speaker 6: heart attack and passed. That's when a fire just was

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Speaker 6: to lit under me. My niece asked the question, why

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Speaker 6: didn't my dad just go to the to the doctor.

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Speaker 6: And that's when I was like, I'm going to start

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Speaker 6: this foundation. So I started the foundation earlier this year

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Speaker 6: in February, which was the same month as heart disease.

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Speaker 6: So I was like, I.

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Speaker 3: Just wanted like some meaning behind it. So, yeah, that's amazing.

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Speaker 3: I started with a logo.

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Speaker 6: Once I got the logo, that gave me like the

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Speaker 6: inspiration to just go on and do everything else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I want to talk about the things that you have

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Speaker 2: beat and why I look at you as a modern

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Speaker 2: day Joe. You had the heart attack right at thirty six,

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Speaker 2: you got engaged. Yeah, and this was I guess the

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Speaker 2: first time you really experienced like true love and a loss.

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Speaker 1: And a real loss.

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Speaker 2: And then right after that, not long after that, like

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Speaker 2: six months, your brother passed away from a heart attack.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like even before that you were every

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Speaker 2: other week.

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Speaker 6: It was a funeral, a funeral, a friend passing away

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Speaker 6: tragically on vacation. Life is good snor clean, just it

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Speaker 6: just seemed like it was something after one thing after another.

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Speaker 6: And when Darryl passed, I my fear was, Oh, I

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Speaker 6: had someone that like really loved me. I don't think

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Speaker 6: I'm ever going to experience this type of love again.

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Speaker 6: I loved I had someone that loved me more than

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Speaker 6: I loved them for a change, just like I'm always

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Speaker 6: giving and pouring out my heart and was never receiving

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Speaker 6: it on the other end.

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Speaker 3: And so.

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Speaker 6: He but he prepared me for so much. Like with

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Speaker 6: the conversations that him and I had, it was it

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Speaker 6: was comforting during my grieving process because all I can

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Speaker 6: hear is his voice talking about certain things.

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Speaker 3: I knew how he felt about death and all of that.

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Speaker 6: Then he lived his life every day like it was

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Speaker 6: his last, Like he was just so full of life.

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Speaker 6: And that relationship taught me so much about myself and

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Speaker 6: what true love, unconditionally loved was.

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Speaker 2: So when you talk about Darryl, I see the range

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Speaker 2: of emotions that come over you. I was there when

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Speaker 2: he proposed to use a surprise and it was so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: It was a beautiful moment. But you mentioned that.

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Speaker 2: Darryl loves you fully, yes, and also that the first

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Speaker 2: time you felt like someone loves you more than you

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Speaker 2: love them, And that's what my mom used to always

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Speaker 2: tell me, Like somebody loves you more than them.

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Speaker 1: You want that because we already love hard.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, Yeah, tell me what was so special about Darryl.

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Speaker 3: When I first met Darryl, I was I think twenty four.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we met and we dated, but I was young.

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Speaker 6: I'm trying to be in a relationship and stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: So when we.

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Speaker 6: Finally reconnected, like it was so crazy because I was

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Speaker 6: having a conversation with a friend and we were talking

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Speaker 6: about like who was our best kiss and all of

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Speaker 6: that stuff, and I brought Darryl up and I was like,

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Speaker 6: oh my god, I haven't talked to him in so

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Speaker 6: many years, And out of the blue, he found me

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Speaker 6: on Instagram. He had saw a video on me singing

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Speaker 6: in the car and he hit me up and it

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Speaker 6: was like we didn't skip a beat. I was just

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Speaker 6: so excited to have him back in my life. I

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Speaker 6: was still trying to heal and at that time, I

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Speaker 6: was on so much medication post the heart attack, and

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Speaker 6: I just opened up to him even more, like he

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Speaker 6: had already opened up to me with his stories and

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Speaker 6: all of that stuff. And that's how our love story

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Speaker 6: like just like really blossom.

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Speaker 3: He would do things that I didn't understand. He did

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Speaker 3: things his way, and.

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Speaker 6: I was like, I just want to be I want

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Speaker 6: to have that courage because at that time a lot

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Speaker 6: of people knew about my sexuality, but I had like

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Speaker 6: verbally not just announced to the world that I'm in

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Speaker 6: a relationship with a guy, like a lot of people

255
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Speaker 6: didn't know any of that into the engagement.

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Speaker 3: And I was skeptical about that.

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Speaker 6: He didn't care, but every day he posted and honored

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Speaker 6: me and I didn't do that initially, like he begged,

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Speaker 6: like we got into a little spat because he wanted

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Speaker 6: to release the engagement video and I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 6: I'm going to do this because at that time I

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Speaker 6: was worried about what others would say and all of

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Speaker 6: that stuff. But going into my next relationship, I don't

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Speaker 6: care who knows, like, because he helped me get through

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Speaker 6: that and even with his passing and stuff like that,

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Speaker 6: Like I felt him he came to me because that

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Speaker 6: night I was crying.

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Speaker 3: It was when Adell's song.

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Speaker 6: Came out Go Easy on Me Baby, Yeah yeah, And

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Speaker 6: I was like, why am I crying?

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Speaker 3: Why am I crying?

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Speaker 6: And I woke up and to the day they one

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Speaker 6: of his close friends called me and told me be

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Speaker 6: lost there own those like what do you mean?

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Speaker 3: Is he missing or something? You know?

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Speaker 6: But that's when I experienced like heartbreak. In that moment,

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Speaker 6: I was like, everything that I was scared of, I've endured.

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Speaker 6: And that's where my resilience come from, because I've experienced

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Speaker 6: all of my fears already, every last one of them.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, wow, what it is?

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Speaker 1: Okay? What you let me cry? What? What was it

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Speaker 1: that actually happened?

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Speaker 6: He initially had a heart attack, but I honestly believed.

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Speaker 3: That he knew that.

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Speaker 6: He time was running out for him and he was

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Speaker 6: trying to protect me, and more so because I was like,

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Speaker 6: I just feel like you're pushing me away. So I

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Speaker 6: had to make the decision to call my engagement off.

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Speaker 3: And like.

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Speaker 6: Calling the engagement off, we didn't we didn't have another

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Speaker 6: conversation after that. Wow, And you remember when I was moving,

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Speaker 6: I was like the week before he passed, I kept

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Speaker 6: telling you. I was like, I just want a fresh start.

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Speaker 6: I was like, I like, when I'm in this apartment,

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Speaker 6: I think about him, I see him.

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Speaker 3: I want to get rid of everything. Yep. And that

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Speaker 3: was the week before he passed. Yeah, so.

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Speaker 6: In my mind, I was like, oh, he'll move to Atlanta,

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Speaker 6: because again, this was a long distance relationship. So I

300
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Speaker 6: was like, he's going to move to Atlanta and then

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Speaker 6: we'll get back together. And then when I found out that,

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Speaker 6: you know, he was moving on, that's when I started

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Speaker 6: to deal with the breakup. Because I wasn't seeing anybody

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Speaker 6: or anything. I just was like, it'll work itself out.

305
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Speaker 6: But we weren't communicating and so that's the part that

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Speaker 6: hurts the most. But he came back, you know, to

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Speaker 6: say goodbye, because I was talking to Tony and he

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Speaker 6: was like, Oh, just put in some summer walker, You'll

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Speaker 6: be okay.

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Speaker 3: But no, I wasn't. I had no idea like that. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: That changed my life forever, and.

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Speaker 6: I'm going to be a better partner for someone whoever

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Speaker 6: that person is, what.

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Speaker 1: Will you take away from him?

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Speaker 2: Like, what are some of the traits that you would

316
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Speaker 2: take away from Darryl, were you like, this is how

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Speaker 2: I want. I want to carry this into my next relationship.

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Speaker 6: It goes back to me saying that I'm going to

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Speaker 6: be unapologetically me. That's what he was. He was kind

320
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Speaker 6: and patient with me, and he listened. But he also

321
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Speaker 6: I never had to question how he felt, you know,

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Speaker 6: he like he was. He always made sure that I

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Speaker 6: knew how much he loved me. Yeah, to the point

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Speaker 6: where yeah, like that was his love language, just letting

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Speaker 6: me know that, hey, whatever I wanted, you know, he

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Speaker 6: whatever I wanted, he.

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Speaker 3: Made sure that I had it.

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Speaker 6: Like that was just I had never experienced anything like that.

329
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Speaker 6: And I could just be randomly talking about something that

330
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Speaker 6: I wanted and like he would take notes. It's like

331
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Speaker 6: he was taking notes and before you know.

332
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Speaker 3: It, I had it.

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Speaker 6: Yeah I find yeah, yeah, collecting, collecting the data, listening

334
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Speaker 6: to people like even with your your your you was.

335
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Speaker 3: Like, oh I want that suitcase.

336
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 6: I was like, ye, like gifts, like yeah, that's amazing.

337
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 6: But yeah, he changed my life. That's one person that like,

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Speaker 6: really that's really.

339
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Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, I get it.

340
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Speaker 6: Yeah, No, it's been I It was so crazy because

341
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 6: I went to Michael's with Zach the other week and

342
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Speaker 6: this past weekend actually, and I get rid of my tree.

343
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Speaker 3: The tree.

344
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,440
Speaker 6: We had a black Christmas tree and it was really

345
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 6: nice decorated and I ended up giving it to Bernard.

346
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 6: And so I was in Michael's this past weekend and

347
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 6: I got the tree and like all the emotions just

348
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:05,360
Speaker 6: start flashbacks or trickling, because that was his favorite holiday.

349
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 6: So it's been to Christmases. So I'll be I'm gonna

350
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,679
Speaker 6: celebrate this year. I'm gonna put the tree up. And

351
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Speaker 6: it's part of my healing.

352
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,880
Speaker 3: Yeah. And so.

353
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Speaker 6: When Brandon, my brother, passed, it was like I had

354
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Speaker 6: a dream three weeks prior to my brother passing away,

355
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Speaker 6: and I woke up out of that dream crying and everything.

356
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 6: I was in a dark room. All I knew was

357
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Speaker 6: that my brother had passed away. I didn't have any

358
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 6: details or specifics, and all I could do was pray, like, Lord,

359
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 6: keep my brother, please protect him.

360
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 3: I sent my brother. I called him. My brother doesn't

361
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,439
Speaker 3: answer the phone.

362
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Speaker 6: So I text him unless he wants some money, that's

363
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 6: what he was.

364
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 3: If he needs some money, they pick up right.

365
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,679
Speaker 6: So I texted him and I was like, bro, I

366
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 6: need to see you.

367
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 3: I had this.

368
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 6: I just had this horrible dream. I just need to

369
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 6: lay eyes on you. And then I called and I

370
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,439
Speaker 6: told my dad about the dream and I was like, Pops,

371
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,200
Speaker 6: it felt so real. It felt so real. And three

372
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 6: weeks later he passed. I was like, we need to

373
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 6: get up. One of my friends passed away. I went

374
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,639
Speaker 6: to DC for that. Then I received an award in

375
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 6: Memphis the following week for Expressed Cancer Foundation. And so

376
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:35,719
Speaker 6: our time and conflict didn't allow us to connect. And

377
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 6: so I think about that a lot, like what if

378
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 6: I was able to talk to him because his girlfriend

379
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 6: said that for three days he had kept saying that

380
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 6: something wasn't right and then his chest was hurting.

381
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 3: And so.

382
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 6: Losing my brother that's when I went. I was at

383
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 6: my lowest because I was like, God, my brother had kids.

384
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 6: Why didn't you just take me versus my brother?

385
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 3: And so even.

386
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 6: After he passed, that's been It goes through my head

387
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 6: every day like yeah, like I know that I'm here

388
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 6: for a purpose and part of yes, yes, And I

389
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 6: so needed that in that moment too yesterday, because I

390
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 6: was like, well, I know I have purpose and and

391
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,680
Speaker 6: then I think about my dad. I'm like, my dad

392
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 6: could have he would have lost it if I would

393
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,200
Speaker 6: have left, and then my brother, Like, I just think

394
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 6: about that too, But I know that I'm here for

395
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 6: something way bigger than me. It's not even about me.

396
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 6: The heart attack wasn't about me. You know, everything that

397
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 6: I've gone through has not been about me. It's been

398
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 6: it's I'm not what, I'm not what has happened to me,

399
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 6: But I'm here to help somebody else.

400
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 3: Someone else may.

401
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 6: Not be able to go or endure what I've had

402
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 6: to go through, and I'm probably it could be that, Oh,

403
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 6: I'm here to help you get through whatever it is

404
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 6: that you're going through.

405
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:14,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

406
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I've learned in life that it always doesn't look

407
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:23,959
Speaker 2: reciprocal relationships, and sometimes you are put on certain platforms

408
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 2: or given certain obstacles because God knows the testimony.

409
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 1: That you can give.

410
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 2: After that, you have another brother who faced a trial

411
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 2: and how many years is he doing.

412
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 3: He's doing thirty years, thirty years in prisons.

413
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,719
Speaker 1: So you are the last son that your dad actually is.

414
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, so.

415
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 1: I think about all that.

416
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 2: I remember the trial and yes, your dad going and

417
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 2: not being able to see him.

418
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, even the verdict when it even came down

419
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,160
Speaker 6: to the verdict. The judge wouldn't even wait for us

420
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 6: to get back to the courtroom. They had total Oh,

421
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 6: going to leave and go to the hotel. Is the

422
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 6: jury is going to deliberate for at least a good

423
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 6: seven hours, so there's no need for you guys to

424
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 6: hang and stay around. And so we followed their advice.

425
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 6: And yeah, so we didn't get to see him, but

426
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 6: you know, I talked to him and he's in good spirits.

427
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 3: So yeah.

428
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: Wow.

429
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 2: One thing that is remarkable about you to me is

430
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,120
Speaker 2: that through everything, and I've been with you through all

431
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: these trials, you never let any of these situations waiver

432
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 2: your faith or your relationship with God. No, so many

433
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 2: people would have cursed God, would have been like, I

434
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 2: don't there's no way God can let this much stuff

435
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 2: happen to one person. You know, they would lose faith

436
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 2: and they would say, you know what, I can't do this.

437
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 2: But not, I feel like it just brought you closer

438
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 2: and closer and closer to Him. And it's so beautiful

439
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 2: to see. I've seen you at your breaking point. I've

440
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 2: seen you on your hands and knees, just like crying

441
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 2: your eyes out because the pain was so hard, but

442
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 2: you've always.

443
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:17,879
Speaker 6: Even if somebody couldn't.

444
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 2: Seriously, you have and you smile through it all. You

445
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 2: find the strength to stay positive.

446
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 6: That's my superpower. It is just smiland like through no

447
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,239
Speaker 6: matter what. I just told myself that I will not

448
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 6: be a poster child of my trauma. So I didn't

449
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 6: want to worship that trauma, you know what I mean, like, Okay,

450
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 6: yeah this happened to me, But God, what do you

451
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 6: want me to do?

452
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 3: What is this? What is the lesson in all of this?

453
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 6: And a lot of times we want to stay in

454
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 6: that and waddle in it. And I just was like, no,

455
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 6: I am not feeding that. No, you didn't like, we're

456
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 6: gonna cut We're gonna get some seamen and we're gonna

457
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 6: patch that up and we're gonna keep it moving. And

458
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 6: so yeah, that's that's all I know how to do,

459
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 6: because everything that I've asked God for he has done.

460
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 6: Even when I was I said, God, after my brother passed,

461
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 6: I am completely broken. I said, you didn't shield and

462
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 6: protect my brother, And he was like I did. Wow,

463
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 6: I gave him. He didn't suffer. You know, his kids

464
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 6: are gonna be okay. You know, I was more so

465
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 6: focused on the prayer of shield and protecting. But God

466
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 6: had another plan and put him in his realm of things.

467
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 6: He's not here earthly, yes, But everything that has happened

468
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 6: to me in twenty twenty three, I know it has

469
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 6: a lot to do with my brother and Darryl, like completely,

470
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 6: like I do have two angels, like sitting one on

471
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 6: each side.

472
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 3: Yeah and yeah, like yeah, let's bring.

473
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 1: It up for a second. Speaking of twenty twenty three, this.

474
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 2: Has been a redemption year for Yes, bought a new house. Yes,

475
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 2: randomly tell me this story because yeah, this is the

476
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 2: craziest thing ever.

477
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:26,360
Speaker 3: He moved to Dallas. He moved. I moved to Dallas

478
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 3: for two.

479
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 6: Days, two weeks, okay, eleven weeks. It was eleven at Yes,

480
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 6: And so what happened was, yeah, out of.

481
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 3: Those eleven weeks, I was here eleven eleven.

482
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 6: Out of those eleven weeks, I was here seven weekends.

483
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 3: So it's like, don't you moved? But I was making

484
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 3: up excuse me, Oh, I got to come back for

485
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 3: Crystal Christal.

486
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 6: Get this going on and all that. So I knew

487
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 6: like I moved, And then two weeks later it was

488
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 6: your fortieth birthday party. And everyone just kept coming up

489
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 6: to me saying why did you leave? How you gonna

490
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 6: leave your girl like that? And and that like watching

491
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 6: you because I don't think I took that many photos.

492
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 6: I was just in awe of the night and just

493
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 6: watching you and seeing I was just so proud of you.

494
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 6: And God was like, you need her just as much

495
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 6: as she needs you. And that's when I was like,

496
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 6: you know what I'm gonna have to end. I'm gonna

497
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 6: have to make a decision. And I don't care what

498
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 6: anyone thinks. You know, this an assignment that I have

499
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 6: to come back for because God isn't through with me

500
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 6: here in Atlanta. And I said, okay, God, if I'm

501
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 6: going back to Atlanta.

502
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 3: Who do you want me to become. Who's the person

503
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 3: that I'm going to be.

504
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 6: I'm going to be unshakable, unstoppable if I And so

505
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 6: it's like when you are always ask me, okay, well

506
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 6: the plan's the playing Marquis, because yes, because when I

507
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 6: quit my job with no job, this is the first

508
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 6: thing you said.

509
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 3: I said, listen, God would make a way.

510
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 6: He did make away. A week later I had another job.

511
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 6: But that's their crazy faith. But I wasn't looking for

512
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 6: a house. I was just driving to Rocky's house and

513
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 6: I said, Oh, this is really nice houses out here.

514
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,479
Speaker 6: And I saw a house and I was on the

515
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 6: phone with Tony and I said, a friend, this house

516
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 6: is really nice.

517
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: It's on a corner lot.

518
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 6: I said, looks like they've completely renovated the house. Whoever

519
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 6: gets this house is going to be a lucky individual.

520
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 6: I kept it moving like I didn't have no desire

521
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 6: to even purchase house.

522
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 3: One.

523
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 6: My least wasn't up into December. So I wasn't gonna

524
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 6: break the least. And so the next day Kieva reached

525
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 6: out and the SLA. She was looking at condos and

526
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 6: she wanted me to find she wanted to invest in

527
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 6: the Atlanta market, and so I said okay. So I

528
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,719
Speaker 6: started looking at condos with her, sending her stuff, and

529
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 6: she was like, oh, I need a real estate agent.

530
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 6: I was like, oh, my homegirl, Angel has her own brokerage.

531
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 6: She can be your agent. So I sent them the information.

532
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 6: Long story short, I still continued to look at houses

533
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 6: just to see what's out there. I've always had a

534
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 6: passion for real estate and just going to open houses.

535
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 3: And decor and getting ideas. And so.

536
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 6: I saw this house and I was like, oh my god,

537
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 6: this house is beautiful. And I looked at the inside

538
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 6: of it. I was like, it has everything that I

539
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 6: will want in a house. I want to see where

540
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 6: this house is at, and so that's what I did.

541
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 3: I went. I had never driven.

542
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 6: To a house that I saw online that I liked,

543
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 6: and so as I'm driving there, I was like, oh,

544
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 6: this is the same direction as Rocky Souse. Still had

545
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 6: completely forgot how the house looked. Got to the corner

546
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 6: and looked over and saw the house and I was like,

547
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 6: oh my god, this is.

548
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 3: The same house. And then I was looking at the

549
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 3: day before.

550
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 6: And so I got out the car with Jordy and

551
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 6: my dog, my former dollar.

552
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 3: That's another story. He's the book. The book would be

553
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 3: outset listen. He is not a dog. Dad, yes, And

554
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 3: so I prayed.

555
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 6: I was like, Lord, if it's your will, you would

556
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 6: make that I don't know why I'm drawn to this house,

557
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 6: but if it's your will, you would make this process

558
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 6: as seamless as possible. My friends Dad met me at

559
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 6: the house and he was like, friend, let's pray the

560
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 6: same favorite that God gave me. I'm praying that he

561
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 6: would give you the same favor. And so he was like,

562
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 6: let's look and see if there's some literature on the sign.

563
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 3: The sign said coming soon.

564
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 6: So I never paid attention to agents, nothing like that.

565
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 6: Got to the sign, saw that it was my friend

566
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 6: Angel's broker. It was yes, So I sent her a

567
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 6: text and within not even ten seconds she was calling

568
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 6: me and.

569
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 3: She was like, I know you lying. I was like no.

570
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 6: She was like the agent that this has this property listed.

571
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 6: It's part investor. When do you want to see the house?

572
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 6: I said, well, I'm here in the house right now.

573
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 6: She was like, well, I'm flying to DC in the morning,

574
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 6: but I can switch off flight and I can show

575
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 6: you the house. It was the same exact day of

576
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 6: my brother's his death anniversary that I got. They agreed

577
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 6: to the contract and immediately they accepted the offer. Wow,

578
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 6: and I was so emotional when I walked in the house.

579
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 6: I knew immediately that this was my house. And yeah, yeah,

580
00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 6: so that's what happened. I got the house and home ownership,

581
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 6: bought a new car, new y car.

582
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:10,359
Speaker 3: Yes, God is really sure. God is good, you know, so, yeah,

583
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 3: and your health is.

584
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: Good, your doses are lessening, like your health is.

585
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 6: Oh so, as far as my heart it functions that

586
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 6: thirty five to forty percent.

587
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 3: It's what they call.

588
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 6: A ejection fraction, which is the pumping or squeezing of

589
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 6: the heart. Someone that doesn't have cardiovascular disease, they're like, say,

590
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:37,439
Speaker 6: for instance.

591
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 3: Your heart, your heart will pump.

592
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 6: Blood would pump out fifty five to seventy percent. So

593
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 6: mine is at a thirty to well, thirty five to

594
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 6: forty percent. My cardiologist doesn't get into those numbers like that.

595
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 3: He's more so focused.

596
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 6: On how I feel, and you feel, you know, yes,

597
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 6: and so oh my body lets me know. That's why

598
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 6: I can't afford That's why I said me having a

599
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 6: heart attack was the best thing that ever happened, because

600
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 6: I can't allow myself to get worked up or get upset.

601
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,760
Speaker 6: You know, it's people and right now that owe me money.

602
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: You can't get upset about it. SIPs the tea. We're

603
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,280
Speaker 1: not gonna get us at that though, because.

604
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 3: What got to handle it? You know, I just count

605
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 3: that dad as lost. All you can give me.

606
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 6: As Pastor said, it's my money, that's all you can

607
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 6: give me. You can't give me no explanation you can't

608
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 6: even say I'm sorry. Why would I waste my energy

609
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 6: to literally fuss it. You cuts you out. I mean,

610
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 6: you still don't have the money, right.

611
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 3: So yeah, so.

612
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 6: I try not like I don't go back and I'm

613
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 6: not going back and forth with you. Yeah that's good,

614
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 6: Like I can't afford to go back and forth. But

615
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 6: in my healing process now, I'm very intentional about my spaces,

616
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 6: creating safe spaces environments amongst my friends, we don't really

617
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 6: have no issues and that's what I love too, and

618
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 6: that has helped me navigate on this this dis road

619
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 6: of healing, because healing will never stopped.

620
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 2: It doesn't. It doesn't you think you can go to

621
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 2: therapy for a couple of months. And like Petie talked

622
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 2: about yesterday as well, just because you don't feel the

623
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 2: pain doesn't mean you've healed from it. And a lot

624
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 2: of people were like, we're moving on with life thinking, oh,

625
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, not realizing to your

626
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: trigger that oh I have not healed from this.

627
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: That's a real thing.

628
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 2: So it's a constant evolution of just growing and moving

629
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 2: past things and healing. Yes, speaking of healing, I want

630
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 2: to go back to your childhood. You've been very open

631
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 2: about the strained relationship between you and your mother, basically

632
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 2: an right from the age of was it two?

633
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,280
Speaker 3: Hold were you when she three ish? Three ish?

634
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 5: Like?

635
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 3: Yeah? From three to like fourteen ish? But then yeah,

636
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 3: I don't even know where to start.

637
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:28,479
Speaker 6: Yeah.

638
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 2: I remember we were talking last night and you said

639
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 2: that your dad had remarried or married another woman.

640
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's who you looked at as your mom.

641
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I called her my mom. She's the one that.

642
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,320
Speaker 6: I have to thank for me being on this spiritual

643
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,240
Speaker 6: walk because she kept me in church.

644
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 3: She would pray. I learned how to pray. All of that.

645
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 3: I knew who.

646
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 6: I found out who God was as a child, you know,

647
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 6: and I would even as as a kid, I will

648
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 6: always pray certain things and God would give them to me.

649
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 6: Like I was like God, I just want a family,

650
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 6: you know, because my dad worked so much, he was

651
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 6: taking care of four kids, one that wasn't even his child.

652
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 6: But he made a promise to my grandmother that he

653
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 6: would take care of take care of us, and as

654
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 6: she was on her deathbed, but he never bad mouthed her.

655
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 6: That's one thing that I'm thankful and glad that he

656
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:39,879
Speaker 6: never did he let us see who she was on

657
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 6: our own or have our own view of her. And

658
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 6: so I'm not knocking her not being there for so long.

659
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 3: I was bitter angry.

660
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 6: For her not being there, but she did what was

661
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 6: she thought was best for us. I'm thankful because where

662
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 6: I am now, I look back and I'm just like, no,

663
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 6: I couldn't.

664
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have wanted to live in that environment, you know.

665
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 3: And so.

666
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 6: This is not to you know, bad math he or

667
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 6: anything like that, but she did the best that she

668
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 6: knew how to do. And for us to have a

669
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 6: relationship like currently, this work that she has to do

670
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 6: on her end first before we can even have a relationship.

671
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 6: You gotta love yourself first, absolutely, And once you can

672
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 6: love yourself first, then you can give love to other people.

673
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 1: To give our parents grace grace.

674
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 2: Yes, decisions they made they affect us still as adults.

675
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 2: I remember in the conversation you were saying that you

676
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 2: had set up a dinner with your siblings.

677
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 3: Yes, and invited her.

678
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 6: Yes was the last Yeah, Yeah, that was actually the

679
00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 6: last show. I was reading PD's book Relationship Intelligence, and

680
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 6: so I was like, I'm gonna give this one more chance.

681
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 6: And so I went to Memphis and I was like,

682
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 6: I want to have a dinner and all of my

683
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 6: siblings they came, and she was a no show. And

684
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 6: I told them in the very moment that I am

685
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 6: officially done, Like there's I'm done. I've tried my whole

686
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 6: life to make this and the only thing I've ever

687
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 6: wanted her to do was just to show up, Like

688
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 6: you don't have to you didn't have to have it all.

689
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 6: But that's why I think I love the movie Antoine

690
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 6: Fisher so much, because he was like, I would have

691
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 6: dreams about you, and I would I would run to

692
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 6: the corner and think that you would be there and.

693
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 3: You wouldn't be there, you know, Like that was literally.

694
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 6: Me, Like I wanted this, I wanted this idea mom.

695
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 6: And so me living in LA and getting into therapy.

696
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 6: My first therapist was a woman, and she kept asking

697
00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 6: me about my childhood and I was like, well, anything

698
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 6: that would referred to my childhood, I didn't want to

699
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 6: answer because I was like, they ain't got nothing to

700
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 6: do with me now.

701
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 3: I'm twenty seven, what you talking about? This does not

702
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 3: affect me now.

703
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 6: And I did not know that like I associated pain

704
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 6: everything that anyone did to me wrong. I associated with

705
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 6: the pain of my mom, like I associated pain with her.

706
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 6: And so in that moment, I got a chair, I

707
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 6: wrote a letter. I read the letter out loud, and

708
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 6: then I sent.

709
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 3: It to her.

710
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,240
Speaker 1: What was that technique called.

711
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 3: The empty chair? Yeah? Yeah, and so I did that.

712
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 6: And I think that just made things even worse. But

713
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 6: I remember turning thirty and she well out of that.

714
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 3: She was like, what do you want from me?

715
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 6: And I was like, just be a mother, you know,

716
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,880
Speaker 6: call me on my birthday or to tell me happy birthday.

717
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 6: I can't even count on you know, both hands, how

718
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 6: many times you've.

719
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 3: Said that, you know.

720
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 6: So on my birthday, my thirtieth birthday, she sent me

721
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:14,919
Speaker 6: a text message and she said happy birthday, woo woo wood.

722
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 6: And I replied and I was like, oh, thank you.

723
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 6: My prayers that guy would heal our broken relationship. Then

724
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,919
Speaker 6: she responded back and said, look, I don't have time

725
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 6: for this. I think it's just best that you go

726
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 6: on with your life. What So from thirty to now,

727
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 6: it's been yeah, silence, like I don't call. I tried,

728
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 6: you know, the whole thing. On Mother's Day, to more

729
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:53,959
Speaker 6: Mother's days. Two mothers days ago, I did fell led

730
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 6: to like, I mean, at the end of the day,

731
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 6: she's still my mother. Yeah, so I want to honor that,

732
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 6: like I think, thank you for not having me, you know.

733
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 6: And again it goes back like I'm not a mistake.

734
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 6: I am here for a purpose, you know, and especially now,

735
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 6: so it's like I don't have any I'm not mad

736
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 6: at her. But for so long I said that I

737
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 6: had forgiven this woman because it was the Christian thing

738
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 6: to do, Like I was like, oh, I'm a Christian,

739
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 6: I gotta forgive her. So that was a lie. The

740
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,240
Speaker 6: whole time I did. I had all this anger towards

741
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 6: this woman. And so God told me just think about it.

742
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 6: If you're able to truly forgive her, how many doors

743
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 6: will open up to you. And that just happened two

744
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 6: years ago, like literally releasing her, you know. And if

745
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 6: she could call me right to this day, if she

746
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 6: needs something, I would be there. But as far as

747
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:02,959
Speaker 6: us having a relationship, that would take some time and

748
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 6: some some healing on her part. She would happy to

749
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 6: be in therapy.

750
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then we could be in therapy together. But yeah,

751
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 3: but my dad on the other hand, we love, Yes,

752
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 3: I love.

753
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 2: My pop, Yes, yes and everything.

754
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 1: You just bought your dad his dream car.

755
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 3: Yes.

756
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 6: So my dad retired last year and so he actually

757
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 6: retired on my birthday eleven thirty, and I wanted to

758
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,840
Speaker 6: do something because my brother birthday was coming up and

759
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 6: I didn't want him to be just in a funk,

760
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 6: you know.

761
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 3: So I was like, okay, what.

762
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 6: Well I always said that I would, you know, give

763
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 6: him his dream car. I said, Lord, I want to

764
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 6: give my dad his dream car. I don't know how

765
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 6: I'm going to do it, but when I do do it,

766
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 6: I'm going to pay it off.

767
00:44:58,280 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

768
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 6: That was like thirteen years ago, again praying saying this, Yes,

769
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 6: your words have power.

770
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 3: And so yeah, I did it.

771
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 6: And normally my dad like if you give my dad something,

772
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 6: he's like, oh I don't need that.

773
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 3: Like if you can give him money, he'll give it back. Yeah.

774
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 3: Maybe he did not give that.

775
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 1: He did not love it.

776
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's amazing.

777
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. I want to talk about your

778
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: childhood a little bit. You have.

779
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:36,879
Speaker 2: We talk about your sexuality, and we talk about how

780
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 2: you don't subscribe to.

781
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:41,839
Speaker 1: Being labeled as a gay man.

782
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 2: What do you I can't remember how you explained it

783
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 2: to me, But what do you how do you describe

784
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 2: who Marquis is? And when did you even realize that

785
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 2: something is different about me?

786
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 1: I'm not really into girls like that.

787
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 3: Okay.

788
00:45:54,680 --> 00:46:00,320
Speaker 6: Well, as far as the gay part, I don't subscribe

789
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 6: it because it's so much that I don't understand about

790
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 6: the LGBT community and a negative connotation too that comes

791
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 6: with being a black gay man in Atlanta. In Atlanta,

792
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 6: you can move, Yeah, you can move anywhere in the country,

793
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 6: just don't go to Atlanta because there's a lot of

794
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 6: gay folks there. Like that's immediately what happens. And I

795
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 6: think a lot of it has to.

796
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:32,399
Speaker 3: Do with.

797
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 6: What TV puts out there of what the typical gay

798
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 6: person is in Atlanta, and I'm like, that's not me.

799
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 6: I don't identify with that. And I'm not knocking anybody

800
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 6: that you know, wear heels and do all of that stuff.

801
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:53,280
Speaker 6: Live you be true to who you are, because there's healing.

802
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:57,720
Speaker 6: When you're healing comes through you being truth. The truths

803
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 6: just should will set you free. So being real yeah,

804
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 6: and so I appreciate people like that. But as for me,

805
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 6: even when I told my dad, I told my dad.

806
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 3: I said, I like dudes. That's what I said.

807
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 2: I was twenty seven, Okay, okay, yeah, but you knew this,

808
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 2: Like since was it high school or yeah?

809
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 3: I knew.

810
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 6: Well, I wouldn't say high school because in high school

811
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 6: I had a girlfriend and everything. So I was trying

812
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 6: to figure out my life, like I'm attracted to women,

813
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 6: you know.

814
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 3: Oh, can I say this.

815
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 6: Like I like straight porn? So like that, I like

816
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 6: straight porn. Yeah, head on, section porn, whatever you want

817
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 6: to call it, Like, that's what I like, you know.

818
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 6: So same gender loving is what I like to use.

819
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,320
Speaker 6: Like it depends.

820
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:52,280
Speaker 3: And now I'm.

821
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 6: Still evolving because at one point I still wanted to

822
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 6: have kids.

823
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:56,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

824
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 6: So I mean I've had sex with women and stuff

825
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:03,400
Speaker 6: like that. I've done that, but I just don't like

826
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 6: to put labels on me.

827
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 3: You know.

828
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 6: I don't even like clothes that have like the labels

829
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 6: and all that stuff on it. So it's that's my

830
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 6: outlook on it, you know. So thankfully my dad loves

831
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 6: me unconditionally once I got his approval, because that's all

832
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 6: it really mattered to me. I don't care nobody else,

833
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 6: And he was like, son, long as you're good we're good,

834
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 6: and he said it twice. He was like, you hear me,

835
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 6: long as you good, I'm good, and he was like,

836
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 6: I'm proud of you, you know, because I was like

837
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,719
Speaker 6: I and the reason for me to even telling him,

838
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 6: telling him and my brother and my sister at that

839
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 6: time was because I was like, I would hate if

840
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 6: something happened to me God for being or you guys,

841
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,840
Speaker 6: and y'all not know the real me, you know. And

842
00:48:55,880 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 6: there's so many people that live in I wouldn't say

843
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 6: in the closet, but they can't be their true, authentic

844
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 6: self or they try to present this character like so

845
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,280
Speaker 6: many do on social media.

846
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 2: I was just talking to somebody and they were like,

847
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:17,439
Speaker 2: so many people are living up beyond what they really

848
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 2: are and faking that they really need to be living

849
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,919
Speaker 2: down so that people never really know where you really are.

850
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 2: And I was like, that's smart, because people do they

851
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 2: live up to this image that they are.

852
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 3: Completely absolutely yeah, and so.

853
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's that's literally how I look at it. There's

854
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 6: so much division when it comes to the community anyway,

855
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 6: especially here with whites and blacks, like they don't mingle

856
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:50,240
Speaker 6: like in other cities.

857
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:54,360
Speaker 2: Like no, I thought that was interesting.

858
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 6: It's very segrogated, like yeah, yeah, but I don't do

859
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 6: you know me, I'm like my dad say, you are

860
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 6: so anti game, and I was like, no, I'm not.

861
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,840
Speaker 3: I just don't do the prize and all that stuff.

862
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 3: Like I'm not going to be.

863
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 6: Rolling around with a flag and all that stuff because

864
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,359
Speaker 6: I just don't understand it all.

865
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 3: I'm Marquise.

866
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, when I die, you're gonna say Marquise, You're not

867
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 6: gonna say, oh.

868
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 3: The gay guy.

869
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 6: You know, even with rolls and stuff, like they like

870
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,799
Speaker 6: tops and bottoms and all that stuff. But why can't

871
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 6: you just love the anatomy and just be done with it?

872
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 6: Why you have to do all that because somebody else

873
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 6: said said to do it? Or why we put so

874
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 6: much emphasis on that. Or if you see two feminine

875
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:44,239
Speaker 6: people together, okay, which one is the girl? Like that's

876
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:50,399
Speaker 6: just so dumb and stupid to me. I just yeah, yeah,

877
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:55,280
Speaker 6: love is the key. Love has got me God's love.

878
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 6: How I love my friends? All those things bring me joy.

879
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:05,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's amazing. I love that. This is good.

880
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 3: Yes, it has been good. It's been really good.

881
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 2: We touched on so many topics. I wanted you guys

882
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 2: to you see him with me all the time. You

883
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,840
Speaker 2: see it's in the car, singing, doing our car chronicles.

884
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 2: But I really wanted you to get a closer little

885
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 2: because his testimony is amazing. You are everything that you

886
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 2: embody is what anybody would hope for in a friend.

887
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 2: So I'm just grateful to have you as my friend.

888
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: And I know.

889
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 2: That people are going to take something from this episode

890
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 2: because your story is just so amazing.

891
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 6: It really is, and it's still being written it is,

892
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 6: And like I told you, I'm proud of you too,

893
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 6: like I've always told you, like our stories are going

894
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 6: to be told one day. I don't know how they're

895
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:54,280
Speaker 6: going to be told, but I feel like we're living out.

896
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:53,240
Speaker 3: Are we are?

897
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 1: I love it all right, So we're gonna do.

898
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,959
Speaker 2: One of my favsavorite parts is where our listeners write

899
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 2: into us.

900
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 1: It's you know what this is?

901
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:07,360
Speaker 2: You watch it Tuesday, Positive outcomes. So this week it

902
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 2: says Hi, Chris. So this past year has been such

903
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 2: a roller coaster for me. I lost my best friend

904
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:13,839
Speaker 2: on eight twenty two, twenty two.

905
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 3: My mama.

906
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 1: She was my rock, and she passed away suddenly.

907
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 2: I feel like at that time, my siblings and I

908
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 2: got down to business with arrangments. All the family and

909
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 2: friends came out of the woodworks. But I soon realized

910
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 2: began to realize my grieving didn't start until recently, which

911
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 2: is common for a lot of people.

912
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 1: Because you get so busy with everything else.

913
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,799
Speaker 2: Meaning I pretty much stepped into my mother's shoes and

914
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,879
Speaker 2: began keeping my family together. In the midst of it all,

915
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 2: I realized I forgot about me and my own health.

916
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 2: I don't feel it's pretty anymore. I feel like everything

917
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,280
Speaker 2: is closing in on me. I battle with my thoughts

918
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:49,240
Speaker 2: with God. Sometimes I'm happy that he is in my life,

919
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,480
Speaker 2: and then I get angry because he took my best

920
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 2: friend and left me here to be alone. I don't

921
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 2: have a boyfriend, and often wonder God, why did you

922
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:00,080
Speaker 2: take the only person who really had my back? I

923
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,879
Speaker 2: wish I could gain my confidence back again. I hope

924
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 2: to one day shine again so others can see Christ

925
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:07,880
Speaker 2: through me. Do you have any advice on how to

926
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 2: live past your loss? I think this is a perfect

927
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 2: question for you because you've had so much loss.

928
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 1: Do you want to give her advice?

929
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 3: Yeah?

930
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,360
Speaker 1: She don betlieve it's her name, but this is this

931
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 1: is really good.

932
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 3: Okay.

933
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 6: The first thing I would tell her is to validate

934
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:33,959
Speaker 6: her feelings. During my grieving process, I c I would

935
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 6: always say, well, I don't want to feel sad. I

936
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,800
Speaker 6: don't want to feel like this. I don't want to

937
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 6: feel like that. I don't want to cry. But all

938
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,800
Speaker 6: that do, all that that's doing is literally making the

939
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:46,840
Speaker 6: wound wider, the.

940
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 3: Hurt is deeper.

941
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 6: So I would tell her to acknowledge her feelings, validate them.

942
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 1: But.

943
00:53:56,080 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 6: Create a place where she can heal inwardly, and that's

944
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 6: through creating safe environments amongst friends, family. Yeah, you're not

945
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:12,360
Speaker 6: going to be your mom, like stepping in your mom's shoes,

946
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 6: That role could never be fulfilled.

947
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 3: You need to.

948
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:21,319
Speaker 6: Create another set of shoes and be that person for

949
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 6: your siblings and your family.

950
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 3: But definitely get.

951
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 6: A therapist to help you too, because had it not

952
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 6: been for my therapist, then I got.

953
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 3: A psychiatrist because I was on medication.

954
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,720
Speaker 6: A lot of that sounds like what she's going through

955
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 6: is spiritual, not mental, because we talk a lot about

956
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:48,959
Speaker 6: mental health, yes, but when I was in my going

957
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,640
Speaker 6: through my grieving with my brother, it was more on

958
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 6: a spiritual level that like festered into or leaked into

959
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 6: my mental because I'm just like God, this, this, this, this, this,

960
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:03,360
Speaker 6: I pray.

961
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 3: To you will woo woo woo. When once I got

962
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 3: in their word, give me my.

963
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 6: Daily bread every day, it started to get stronger and stronger.

964
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 3: It's like when you go to the gym.

965
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,320
Speaker 6: You go to the gym, the weights don't get heavier,

966
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,480
Speaker 6: you get stronger to lift the weights.

967
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:22,920
Speaker 3: And so I think if she.

968
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 6: Exercised those that advice, I think she would be Okay,

969
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 6: I love that.

970
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 1: That's really good. That's good.

971
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 2: I would tell you to yes, please get a therapist.

972
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 2: A therapist is so important. We're only one person, and

973
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 2: it sounds like you're taking on a whole lot.

974
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:43,320
Speaker 1: And I would say.

975
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 2: That, like Markey said as well, echo what he said is.

976
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 1: That you can't fill your mom's shoes.

977
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 2: You're literally putting yourself in a position to honestly fail.

978
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 2: That's like a lot to do because you'll never be

979
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 2: that for your.

980
00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 1: Sisters and your brothers.

981
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 2: So I would say, get a therapist and just do

982
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 2: what you can do. I would also take time to

983
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 2: just be with yourself, get to know yourself again, because

984
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 2: it also feels like you kind of.

985
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:12,000
Speaker 1: Lost yourself in all of this.

986
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,480
Speaker 2: So I would also say, take time to get to

987
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 2: know yourself.

988
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,280
Speaker 1: Meditate. I love doing yoga.

989
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:19,799
Speaker 2: That just gives me the opportunity to be grateful for

990
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:22,959
Speaker 2: every breath, be by myself. Turn my phone off because

991
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,280
Speaker 2: you can't have phones in there. It's just a moment

992
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 2: to disconnect from everything. Walks, nature walks, get out and

993
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 2: do other things that maybe you can find happiness in,

994
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,319
Speaker 2: and just learn to love yourself all over again. Because

995
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:40,319
Speaker 2: I will say, after reading this, it feels like with

996
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 2: losing your mother, you kind of lost yourself as well.

997
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 6: Yes, and the man would come, honey, yes, you gotta

998
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 6: work on you first.

999
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 3: Boo.

1000
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, because because he ain't gonna he's gonna feel all

1001
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:53,479
Speaker 2: this everything that you're saying, that man is gonna feel

1002
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 2: all that day. It's gonna either he's strong enough to

1003
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,399
Speaker 2: hold you close or it's gonna make him run. So

1004
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 2: their best bet is to be whole so that you

1005
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:01,760
Speaker 2: can attract the type.

1006
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:02,279
Speaker 1: Of man that you want.

1007
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 2: All right, All right, I hope you get better. I

1008
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,040
Speaker 2: hope that you know that this too shall pass, and

1009
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:10,759
Speaker 2: just keep on keeping on, keep putting your best foot forward,

1010
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 2: and everything's gonna be okay.

1011
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:12,760
Speaker 3: Keep moving.

1012
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:19,080
Speaker 2: That's right, all right, So we're gonna do what I'm

1013
00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 2: going through and what I'm growing through. Okay, So let's

1014
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:27,439
Speaker 2: see in this season of my life, or let's say

1015
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 2: this week.

1016
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 1: I am going through.

1017
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:42,480
Speaker 2: Knowing that God is gonna make a way where I

1018
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 2: can't see away.

1019
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 1: I'm growing through.

1020
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 2: Having the patience and understanding and even knowing. Okay, you're

1021
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 2: getting a little anxious here because a lot of times

1022
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 2: I don't have the awareness, and before I know it,

1023
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 2: I'm in a whole frizzies, Like I'm down.

1024
00:57:58,000 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 1: It's okay.

1025
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 2: So having that awareness is what I'm growing through to

1026
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 2: know that it's going to be okay.

1027
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 6: Okay, I am currently going through.

1028
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 3: Am I ready to be in a relationship? Yeah? I

1029
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,560
Speaker 3: don't want to compare.

1030
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 6: My previous relationship to any other relationship or be triggered

1031
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 6: by a person's actions of something that he did, you know.

1032
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 6: So I I know it's time to move on because

1033
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 6: I made that promise that my heart would go on.

1034
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 6: But it is so hard trying to do that, you know, Yeah,

1035
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 6: Because it's like, Okay, I said that I didn't want

1036
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 6: to be in a lone distance relationship, and it's.

1037
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 3: Hard to here in atlant.

1038
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 1: You bring it to the choir.

1039
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 3: Listen, I'm about to be I'm about to be forty.

1040
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 3: You know.

1041
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:12,880
Speaker 1: If something don't say real quick, we're going to be

1042
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:13,240
Speaker 1: moving to.

1043
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 2: Take a keep buzzing the host Dallas listen or l yes,

1044
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 2: you know it's like.

1045
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 1: No, you're coming to LA.

1046
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, we're going to be definitely by coastal pretty soon.

1047
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 6: Anyway that yeah, I'm going through that. And then like

1048
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 6: career changes, like I'm going through That's what I'm going through.

1049
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 3: Like what's my next move? Yes, in this new.

1050
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:47,479
Speaker 6: Chapter of my life? So yeah, growing what I'm growing through. Yeah,

1051
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:53,920
Speaker 6: I am growing through being unapologetically me.

1052
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 1: I love that and you do a very good job.

1053
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I'm only doing what I want to do.

1054
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 1: Amen.

1055
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, all right, I'm gonna be a line.

1056
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:10,360
Speaker 6: But yeah, I if it if the friendships, if a

1057
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 6: new friendship arises, like what are your intentions?

1058
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 3: Like what are you know?

1059
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: That's my first question. Yeah, any guy approaches me and

1060
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 1: like what are your yes?

1061
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 6: Because people would come I've been getting peep out of

1062
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 6: the blue that I haven't talked to in years coming

1063
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 6: they see the glow up and yeah, it's beending block.

1064
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 3: No, no, we're.

1065
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 1: Not doing it.

1066
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:37,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's what I'm growing through, just yeah, going

1067
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 3: and growing. I love it.

1068
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 1: I love it. So we're going to do our favorite part,

1069
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 1: keep it Blank, Sweetye. To end the show.

1070
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 2: I'm going to say, keep it authentic, sweetye.

1071
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 3: I was going to say real, Okay, I'm going to say,

1072
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 3: keep it going. That's right, keep it going. Yeah, you

1073
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 3: gotta keep it.

1074
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:16,920
Speaker 6: Going, sweetie, Like, no matter what happens, whatever ball is strong,

1075
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 6: if you strike out, if you if the ball is

1076
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 6: a foul ball, like, you gotta keep going because guess

1077
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 6: what time is ticking?

1078
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:28,240
Speaker 3: And a man?

1079
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 1: That's so good?

1080
01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 2: All right, Keith, thank you so much. Oh my gosh,

1081
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 2: this is so good.

1082
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:37,000
Speaker 1: Guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode.

1083
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,959
Speaker 2: If you want to write into our Positive Outcomes listener letter,

1084
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 2: you can write into Keep It Positive Sweetie at gmail

1085
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 2: dot com and that's Sweetie with an Ie. You can

1086
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 2: follow kIPS at Keep It Positive Sweetye on all platforms,

1087
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 2: and you can follow me at l u V Chris

1088
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 2: Doorinee on Instagram and all platforms as well.

1089
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:55,600
Speaker 1: Keep telling them they can find you.

1090
01:01:55,680 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 3: They can find me at beat it Keith. That's beat

1091
01:01:59,600 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 3: it like.

1092
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:03,800
Speaker 6: Michael Jackson beat it. And you can also follow my

1093
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 6: foundation page. It's called the beat It Foundation or the

1094
01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 6: beat it Foundation dot org.

1095
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 2: It's the website, so please follow that so that you

1096
01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 2: can stay tuned with all the amazing upcoming events and

1097
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 2: things that he has going on, and to get involved

1098
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 2: because cardiobasselar disease is really a really big thing in

1099
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 2: our community that we need to get a handle on.

1100
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:28,760
Speaker 2: So I definitely want to support it and get more

1101
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 2: people involved. Yeah, so we can help more people, yes, yeah,

1102
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:36,840
Speaker 2: so definitely get their wordiness out there.

1103
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:37,600
Speaker 1: Guys, thank you.

1104
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 2: So much, have a blessed week, and in the meantime you.

1105
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 1: Know what to do. Keep it positively by guys,