Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.
Speaker 2: She couldn't.
Speaker 1: She cleaned and cared for her children and the man
Speaker 1: of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.
Speaker 2: She was both obedient and.
Speaker 3: Soft by nature.
Speaker 2: She was a good woman who always made good choices.
Speaker 4: We're good Mom's bad choices.
Speaker 5: You's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all
Speaker 5: their bad choices and.
Speaker 4: Found out they were so bad after all.
Speaker 5: We're experts, overshares and your new besties.
Speaker 4: Sit back and enjoy the ride.
Speaker 3: I can.
Speaker 5: Welcome back to good Mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 5: I'm Nila.
Speaker 4: Happy hump Day, bitches, Happy.
Speaker 5: Motherfucking hump Day. It's another wonderful week of good moms,
Speaker 5: bad motherfucking choices, and happy Valentine's Day. Yes, it's the
Speaker 5: week of Valentine's Day. And if you are not celebrating love,
Speaker 5: celebrate love, bitches.
Speaker 4: All we got even if you're single. Celebrate the love
Speaker 4: of self.
Speaker 5: Celebrate the love that's coming. Yeah, celebrate the love of family.
Speaker 5: Celebrate the love of girlfriends. More love, more love, more love.
Speaker 6: We're in the student. I called Melave this morning. I
Speaker 6: was like, bitch, we're pink, and I was.
Speaker 5: Like, okay, because I already have an outfit right here.
Speaker 5: I'm looking at it, but okay, I got it. So
Speaker 5: here are my pink my pink pants, my pink my
Speaker 5: professional pink pants. I feel like Oprah.
Speaker 6: You look beautiful, gorgeous, very soft and feminine, lovely.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: We have a special guest today, and I'm really excited
Speaker 6: because we're gonna get straight into it.
Speaker 4: This is a former guest, but it's been.
Speaker 6: A few years since this gentleman has joined us on
Speaker 6: in the Girl Cave, the Woman Cave, the wild woman Cave.
Speaker 5: This is first time here at this wild woman Cave.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, because before I was at the other at
Speaker 4: the other spot.
Speaker 6: I'm very excited to welcome to the show none other
Speaker 6: than relationship coach, author, writer, producer mister Marcus Black.
Speaker 5: Hey, welcome back.
Speaker 2: So what did you call this the what kind of case?
Speaker 5: Wild woman case?
Speaker 2: I'm built for it, though you ready you made it
Speaker 2: out before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got four sisters, two daughter's wife, ex wife.
Speaker 5: You've been married twice, you've been initiated. I have a
Speaker 5: question when you because you know when you ask what
Speaker 5: is that does the word the term wild woman like
Speaker 5: make you feel a way. I feel like sometimes men
Speaker 5: get turned off by the term wild woman.
Speaker 1: I don't it, don't it, don't it, don't budge me. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know I think wild.
Speaker 2: As in.
Speaker 1: Uncontrolled by men, right, so sounds fair.
Speaker 5: Never put it that way, but I like that control.
Speaker 6: And you know, I mean there's more legs, so that
Speaker 6: it's not all about we're not we're not centering men
Speaker 6: in our wildness, right, Like, there's other aspects to our wildness.
Speaker 2: What makes you guys wild?
Speaker 5: I like to think of myself as wild in the
Speaker 5: sense of like fairal not like incubated. When I think
Speaker 5: of the opposite of wild, people like why wild, I'm like,
Speaker 5: why not like free? I think a free primal.
Speaker 2: So not controlled?
Speaker 5: Yeah, not in the zoo.
Speaker 2: What's it? What's your what's your idea.
Speaker 6: Of I think for me, it's just someone that's like
Speaker 6: authentically themselves no matter what, no matter where what room
Speaker 6: you enter, whether you know you're in the presence of
Speaker 6: uh a politician or you're in a presence in the
Speaker 6: presence of a child, like you are who you are
Speaker 6: all the time, through and through. There's nothing that tames
Speaker 6: the spirit of who you are and.
Speaker 5: There's no control, like, there's no there's You're not you're
Speaker 5: not trying to abide by this invisible outline of what
Speaker 5: a lady is supposed to be or how you're supposed
Speaker 5: to be. It's rather to your own, your own standard
Speaker 5: of living.
Speaker 1: So you like that I said control, You just don't
Speaker 1: like the by men because you like, like men have
Speaker 1: nothing to do with this, like they're so far out.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that.
Speaker 4: There's probably an element to that, and I think that there's.
Speaker 6: Like I think that me and Mila have you in
Speaker 6: our wildness over the years, right, because I think that
Speaker 6: there's definitely Obviously Mila is a wife, right, so she
Speaker 6: in in in many spaces and in her life. I've
Speaker 6: seen her submit to Orlando. So it's not about like
Speaker 6: not being controlled. I think that word, I mean, it's
Speaker 6: it's the word is layered, right, So I think that
Speaker 6: it's not I don't think that as women who are wild,
Speaker 6: it's there's not a lack of submissiveness that we can
Speaker 6: possess in partnership with man. It's also like who is
Speaker 6: the man that's leading us? So I don't mind submitting.
Speaker 7: To a man.
Speaker 4: I don't mind I love it please, for the love
Speaker 4: of God.
Speaker 2: Submitting I do.
Speaker 5: I'm very right, man.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I feel like in this season of my life.
Speaker 6: I've been in my relationship for almost two years now,
Speaker 6: and like the other day I was like cooking lunch
Speaker 6: for Shakham and I.
Speaker 4: Was like, wow, I've been doing this a lot, and
Speaker 4: I really enjoy it. I enjoy it.
Speaker 6: I enjoy like making sure like he's taken care of
Speaker 6: I enjoy you know, I enjoy taking care of him
Speaker 6: in all ways. So I think for other for other men,
Speaker 6: though I would have been a lot more resistant, I've
Speaker 6: been resistant.
Speaker 5: So it's about the men that you choose, I think.
Speaker 5: And I think that's what pisses me off about like
Speaker 5: this era of I don't know how you say, like
Speaker 5: insults or like this love this error of a lot
Speaker 5: of men, about like when men don't women don't want
Speaker 5: to submit, and women don't want to be It's like, no, nigga,
Speaker 5: it's just not to your non man ass, you know,
Speaker 5: Like no, just not to you who's over there hating
Speaker 5: hating women out loud on a podcast, you know, Like
Speaker 5: that irritates me. And for that reason, I was thinking
Speaker 5: about this recently, like I intentionally use a lot of
Speaker 5: language that I know is going to irritate or bother
Speaker 5: a small minded man, you know what I mean. Like sometimes,
Speaker 5: like I said, wild women, I can tell it like
Speaker 5: I can start twitching or like ho like I'm a
Speaker 5: I'm a former hope and like oh, you know, like
Speaker 5: there's certain words that I know it's going to really
Speaker 5: they're a basic man, so I use them to see
Speaker 5: if they're gonna melt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it works.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I also want to I also will say
Speaker 6: as a woman who has had I mean, I guess
Speaker 6: submission has been a journey for me, and it's I'm
Speaker 6: still in the journey of it even currently in this relationship.
Speaker 6: Is like I think a lot of women say, like
Speaker 6: for the right man, I will submit, but that's not
Speaker 6: always true because when you find the right man because
Speaker 6: you've been in the practice of not submitting, there's actually
Speaker 6: like there's actually like a training that has to happen.
Speaker 5: I'm still in it too, yeah, married, but I'm still
Speaker 5: actively like I twitch every time you.
Speaker 6: Tell me I get Like Shakam was like, you know,
Speaker 6: I've been thinking someone the other day. He's like, I'm
Speaker 6: just contemplating, Like where you submit to me, and like
Speaker 6: you when we go to the gym, like you submit one,
Speaker 6: like you're no problem, Like you'll like listen to everything
Speaker 6: that I say. He's like, with Iri, you've given me
Speaker 6: a lot of trust. My daughter, you've given me a
Speaker 6: lot of trust. So there's like a submission there. But
Speaker 6: in the household, there's a lack of submission that I
Speaker 6: experienced with both you and your Daughter's very challenging in
Speaker 6: this house.
Speaker 4: And you know, he was like, you know, we're debating
Speaker 4: about what why that.
Speaker 5: Could possibly be. Not at the gym, you do it,
Speaker 5: but he said, he.
Speaker 6: Said, sexually, I submit like in places where I have
Speaker 6: seen him, like where I know, well, yeah, where I
Speaker 6: believe or i've seen the proof, I can say no problem,
Speaker 6: you know.
Speaker 4: And he was talking about the house and I was
Speaker 4: telling him, well.
Speaker 6: I was like, well, well she cam actually like my baby
Speaker 6: daddy told me I had I wouldn't submit to him
Speaker 6: in the house. So it's not like whatever what we were
Speaker 6: talking about. I was like, it's not that. It's that
Speaker 6: as a single mom, and I also, no, it's this,
Speaker 6: it's that a I've never I've never been in that
Speaker 6: my mom, my grandmother, they're not. I've never seen them
Speaker 6: submit to a man in the house. My mom and
Speaker 6: my stepdad's dynamic. She is she runs the ship, she
Speaker 6: runs the ship. My grandmother runs the ship. I've literally
Speaker 6: never seen it. I have not experienced it. And then
Speaker 6: also layering that on to so that was what my
Speaker 6: baby daddy experienced for me because he would say that all.
Speaker 4: The time, you don't ever let me lead. I was like, well,
Speaker 4: I don't trust you, and he goes, oh, no, I'm
Speaker 4: not going to literally lead.
Speaker 6: But now that I'm with a man that I trust,
Speaker 6: it still shows up. And I think for me now
Speaker 6: because I've never seen it. But then there's the added
Speaker 6: layer of being a single mother and having to be
Speaker 6: the man of the house and having to make sure
Speaker 6: everything gets done and it's like, if if anything's off,
Speaker 6: then it's on me. And now having someone come in
Speaker 6: and like, it's been challenging for me to like, yeah,
Speaker 6: submit to that. And so I'm still in the practice
Speaker 6: of learning how to do that. Even though I have
Speaker 6: a good man, even though I have someone that I
Speaker 6: can be soft with, I can trust all those things.
Speaker 4: So for the ladies that think, oh, when I find
Speaker 4: the right man, then I'll submit. No, bitch, you might not.
Speaker 6: You're still gonna need to learn how to do that
Speaker 6: because it actually feels really uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I actually my latest book that I just put out
Speaker 1: is called Bulletproof Love, right, and I'm teaching people how
Speaker 1: to bulletproof your relationship. But and I actually created the
Speaker 1: whole curriculum. I have a community. It's called Bulletproof University,
Speaker 1: and I created the first curriculm. Because you know, any
Speaker 1: any license you go get, right, I don't care if
Speaker 1: it's a beautician like saying the drivers, Like, any license
Speaker 1: you go get you have to read something, you have
Speaker 1: to study it, you have to and you have to
Speaker 1: pass a test that says you know how to do it.
Speaker 2: But the marriage LI likes is the only license you need.
Speaker 5: To get Crazy that you say that and.
Speaker 2: They give you a license that says you know how
Speaker 2: to do this.
Speaker 5: You don't know shit.
Speaker 1: You pay two hundred and fifty dollars and you are
Speaker 1: not clear to ruin your life.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And so for me, I'm like, I had never seen
Speaker 1: it either, you know, I had never seen it up
Speaker 1: close and personal, impersonal, but I had seen it on
Speaker 1: like because we come from a different era, right, So
Speaker 1: I saw Cosby Show, I saw First Prince of bel At, I.
Speaker 2: Saw family matters, I saw a step by step you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I saw all different shows, and I'm like, hmmm, So
Speaker 1: there's a way that this is supposed to be done.
Speaker 2: We just don't know how to do it. You know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I had no idea how to be a husband. I
Speaker 1: had no idea how to be a father. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: My dad had no idea. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: His dad had no idea. Where do I get this from?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So we find ourselves going
Speaker 1: by societal standards or going what we saw our parents
Speaker 1: do or what our friends said, and you know, we
Speaker 1: take an input from people who are unsuccessful in the space,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I created the actual
Speaker 1: curriculum on how to do it. And so I'm teaching
Speaker 1: people how to bulletproof your relationship so that.
Speaker 2: It's durable, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So you can interact with you from so you can
Speaker 1: so you can approach it from a covenant concept and
Speaker 1: not a contract concept.
Speaker 5: You know and have creed and communication and yeah, and
Speaker 5: I've never heard anybody put it that blatantly, but it's true.
Speaker 5: Like me and Orlando did some pre marital divorce proof
Speaker 5: club before we got married, which I thought was important.
Speaker 5: But the only time we really see that happen is
Speaker 5: in like religious form formats like Catholicism and Christianity. There's
Speaker 5: generally before they are you in a church, you have
Speaker 5: to go through you know, something with the pastor or
Speaker 5: something like that, but prior to marriage. But if you're
Speaker 5: not in those those religious you know spaces, or you
Speaker 5: don't belong to a church, or you don't opt to
Speaker 5: do that, generally people are doing it blindsided as fuck,
Speaker 5: and there's no blueprint and they're just like fuck it.
Speaker 5: And a lot of times we see it fails, and.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's even it's even whacking the church though,
Speaker 1: like we're not going to act like the The marriage
Speaker 1: rate is higher for Christians and Catholics than everybody else.
Speaker 5: I mean, and if it is, it's because they were
Speaker 5: like I don't want to go to Hell. It's like
Speaker 5: because they're afraid of the of the like the shame
Speaker 5: of being divorced, there's like that understanding, not because they're
Speaker 5: necessarily more happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I don't even want to get going down
Speaker 1: that road because I really it really irks me. I
Speaker 1: really get going down religion. Religion, Yeah, because if you
Speaker 1: actually read and studied a lot of the things in
Speaker 1: shoulds that are upheld in the church, these are not
Speaker 1: the things that Jesus taught or scripture even it's not.
Speaker 1: And so when I dove in, I begin to do
Speaker 1: my research and I begin to study, and I begin
Speaker 1: to actually seek.
Speaker 2: I'm like, y'all said it said. It don't say that.
Speaker 1: It kind of doesn't say that at all, y'all something
Speaker 1: I was gonna go to hell it is. It doesn't
Speaker 1: say that either, you know what I'm saying. And it's
Speaker 1: like so many people have a really bad taste in
Speaker 1: their mouth regarding true spirituality and truly seeking God because
Speaker 1: religion has cooked everybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I'm saying. The institution of it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it turned everybody off from what the spirit of
Speaker 5: it truly being love, you know, yeah, loving thy neighbor,
Speaker 5: simple shit, the basics, basic shit. They've turned into something very.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm curious about the bullet their bulletproof concept of
Speaker 6: bulletproof in your relationship or your marriage, because I was
Speaker 6: I was reading this quote on your Instagram and said,
Speaker 6: anyone can say I love you. Bulletproof love is shown
Speaker 6: when staying costs you something.
Speaker 4: What do you mean by that?
Speaker 2: So love can only be shown after an offense? Right?
Speaker 2: Love is sacrificial? Right, It's all about.
Speaker 1: I only know somebody loves me by what they're willing
Speaker 1: to offer you when it's not convenient for them. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. If what you give me is
Speaker 1: based off of you, guys are genuinely, generally just just
Speaker 1: decent human beings, right, So if I ask one of
Speaker 1: you guys for something and it's not an inconvenience, you'd
Speaker 1: probably do it.
Speaker 2: Right. Once I ask for something that isn't inconvenience.
Speaker 1: Because the relationship is that we're not best friends, we
Speaker 1: didn't grow up together, right, then it's like.
Speaker 2: Uh, is he okay? Right?
Speaker 1: So when I'm talking about bulletproof love, man for me.
Speaker 2: This is just for me.
Speaker 1: I can't speak for nobody else in this scenario. I
Speaker 1: didn't even know my wife truly loved me until I
Speaker 1: completely failed her and she chose me when I knew
Speaker 1: she shouldn't have chose me when I knew you very
Speaker 1: you wouldn't have been wrong.
Speaker 2: For choosing against me, and she chose me and it didn't.
Speaker 1: It was It was eye opening because I think most
Speaker 1: men we don't. I had never seen unconditional love. I
Speaker 1: had never seen selfless love. I had never seen anyone,
Speaker 1: uh choose love or choose their partner. And I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about from from an emotionally manipulative way.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about from a place of like, uh,
Speaker 1: from a place of weakness. I'm talking about intentionally, from
Speaker 1: a place of strength. I'm not talking about I'm gonna
Speaker 1: choose you because I have no other choice and what
Speaker 1: else am I gonna do with her? No, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: choose you because I actually know who you are. I
Speaker 1: don't know what that.
Speaker 2: Was that you just did.
Speaker 1: And I believe that there's more. I believe that you know,
Speaker 1: you can be strong. I believe in uh, you know
Speaker 1: what God has has shown me or what I believe
Speaker 1: I've seen regarding you.
Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying. So I'm going to.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna sit back and watch. Let me,
Speaker 1: see what you do with this, you know? And then
Speaker 1: for me, no one had to tell me to go
Speaker 1: to therapy. You know what I'm saying. No one had
Speaker 1: to tell me to go do the work, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, I wanted to be strong. I
Speaker 1: wanted to be better. I wanted to figure out how
Speaker 1: to be a good husband. I wanted to heal from
Speaker 1: childhood trauma. I wanted to heal from certain things that
Speaker 1: I deal with in my life that was passed down.
Speaker 1: It's generational trauma, you know what I'm saying. I never
Speaker 1: even seen it, you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Things that I met my biological father when I was
Speaker 1: twenty seven years old, right, and when I met I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, I walk like him, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. We built the same But then there's certain
Speaker 1: things that he struggles with in his life, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: how do I struggle with the same thing?
Speaker 2: And I didn't grow up in the same house with you.
Speaker 2: A genetics boom.
Speaker 1: It's certain, it's spiritual. Certain things has passed down through
Speaker 1: the blood. So I wanted to do the work to
Speaker 1: health from those things and break some of those generational
Speaker 1: curses in my family.
Speaker 2: And yeah, so that's that's that's where I was coming from.
Speaker 5: Let me ask you a question. Do you feel like
Speaker 5: you had that desire to heal, to seek therapy, to
Speaker 5: be this better version of yourself prior to her choosing
Speaker 5: you when she shouldn't have or could have or could
Speaker 5: have opted to do something different. Because when you said that, initially.
Speaker 2: I saw your face.
Speaker 5: I was like, I think there's this understand I think
Speaker 5: it's just a slippery a slippery slope, because I think
Speaker 5: for black women there's this there's this understanding like, yes,
Speaker 5: marriage and partnership are difficult, and there's going to be
Speaker 5: things that you don't like and there's going to be
Speaker 5: things you have to get past. But I don't think
Speaker 5: that love should be like this struggle love, And I
Speaker 5: don't think that's a narrative that we should go on.
Speaker 5: And I'm not saying you're saying this was just this
Speaker 5: isolated event. She knew who you were and she chose you,
Speaker 5: which you know that happened. Sometimes niggas fuck up, we
Speaker 5: fuck up, we're human. But I feel like sometimes it's
Speaker 5: you know, women specifically, because there's also this idea that like,
Speaker 5: let's just say for infidelity, for instance, because that's something
Speaker 5: that happens often in relationships that we hear is may
Speaker 5: be unforgivable or there's a riff that you can't come
Speaker 5: back from. Women are like, I'm going to give him
Speaker 5: more chance. This isn't a man's nature, Da da da da,
Speaker 5: And then like with men, it doesn't, it's not reciprocated
Speaker 5: if that is maybe the same break in the relationship.
Speaker 5: And so I feel like when we say this to
Speaker 5: women about coming back from things that are fucked up,
Speaker 5: it's it's a slippery slope because sometimes you see a
Speaker 5: bitch or I mean, I say, bitch, go back and
Speaker 5: go back and go back and go back and get
Speaker 5: hurt and get hurt and get hurt until there's nothing
Speaker 5: left and then they hate man. And then as always,
Speaker 5: it's this whole cycle of things. So I'm just wondering if, like,
Speaker 5: did you have that that seed planted in you prior
Speaker 5: to her, to her, to you feeling unconditionally loved by her.
Speaker 1: So I'm somebody who I've always wanted to be the
Speaker 1: best version of myself, you know what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: think as you get older, there's certain things that you
Speaker 1: find about yourself that you didn't know were there? You know,
Speaker 1: when you talk about infidelity, which is you know, because
Speaker 1: it's because of TV, because.
Speaker 7: Of Love and Hip Hop, there was this narrative. I
Speaker 7: believe that like.
Speaker 2: Marcaus was just this woman eyes and just it was
Speaker 2: never the K guy. I'd be like, hey, it's TV.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, What's what?
Speaker 1: When we talked about earlier, I'm like, hey, I think
Speaker 1: people negate the fact that hey, this is a full production,
Speaker 1: this is a TV show.
Speaker 2: We showed up, there's camera. Somebody said action, this entertainment ed.
Speaker 4: So I didn't. I don't even watch. I don't even
Speaker 4: know if I know what happened. But would they make you?
Speaker 4: Did they make Did you know they were going to
Speaker 4: put you in that light?
Speaker 6: Or there's certain things or was it just more exaggerated
Speaker 6: than it was?
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of a lot of it is exaggerated.
Speaker 1: And then there's a lot of people. Right I was
Speaker 1: on Love and Hip Hop Hollywood in two thousand and
Speaker 1: sixteen seventeen. There's people who look at us today in
Speaker 1: two thousand and six and they.
Speaker 4: Like twenty six.
Speaker 2: Revers time machine now.
Speaker 1: But there's people who see me what I'm doing now
Speaker 1: they be like, why would we take advice from you? Like,
Speaker 1: then you change up. I'm like, yo, y'all, really, first
Speaker 1: of all, it's TV, But let's say let's say what
Speaker 1: y'all saw was real. Y'all haven't seen you haven't seen
Speaker 1: me in ten years, and this is your this is
Speaker 1: what you think.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying to answer your question.
Speaker 1: Though I absolutely have always achieved to be the best
Speaker 1: version of myself in my past, I never struggled with
Speaker 1: in fidelity, you know what I'm saying. That was not
Speaker 1: something that I struggle with. It's still not something I
Speaker 1: struggle with. It was a It was a moment where
Speaker 1: I was like, hmm, I haven't been here before. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. You kind of just look up
Speaker 1: and you're in a situation. You haven't been taught how
Speaker 1: to handle these situations. You haven't been like I stayed
Speaker 1: ten told down stairs I was I wasn't wrong for
Speaker 1: how I felt. I was wrong for how I handled
Speaker 1: my feelings, you know what I mean, and how I
Speaker 1: went about it and not feeling not knowing how to
Speaker 1: ext you know, like, transparency is so important in a relationship,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Not just honesty, but transparency.
Speaker 1: And my relationship with my wife is so amazing because
Speaker 1: there's full transparency. You know what I'm saying, It's real partnership.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: My wife is my best friend. There's nothing I don't
Speaker 1: talk to her about.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: So I was talking about homie the other day and
Speaker 1: I'm like, look, it's easy to come talk to your
Speaker 1: wife or your girl about how you're feeling. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be much more difficult to have a conversation and her
Speaker 1: about well, this is what I did as a result
Speaker 1: of that. Now, now, now you left her in a
Speaker 1: dark about so much. So it's like life still life,
Speaker 1: and you still feel certain things. But as I as
Speaker 1: I feel something now it's like, my wife's not even
Speaker 1: the blind about this, like, oh, what's I was feeling
Speaker 1: like this?
Speaker 2: So I saw this, So I'm dealing with this.
Speaker 1: So this is how I'm feeling the day or and
Speaker 1: there's transparency and she can help me through these feelings
Speaker 1: and vice versa, you know what I'm saying. So that
Speaker 1: situation is the first time, the first thing that put
Speaker 1: a highlight over who I was in that moment where
Speaker 1: I was lost, what the root of it was, like
Speaker 1: what caused me to do this? Like I'm a very
Speaker 1: I've always been a very honest person. I'm a very
Speaker 1: transparent person naturally, Like even what you want to.
Speaker 2: Talk, we can talk about whatever, Like I don't really triplef.
Speaker 2: I'm not that.
Speaker 1: I don't do no hiding right, So, and that moment,
Speaker 1: I'm like, hmm, how did like where did this come from?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying too.
Speaker 2: I actually always thought that even if I was to.
Speaker 1: Do something wrong like that, I would be very transparent
Speaker 1: that I did it.
Speaker 2: I didn't. I wasn't transparent about anything. I'm like, how
Speaker 2: did I become? Where has come from? Where is this?
Speaker 1: And so it sent me down the road of trying
Speaker 1: to do the work and go to therapy and unpack
Speaker 1: certain things and you know, get in my word and
Speaker 1: see God and just try to try to break down
Speaker 1: like what is the what's the root?
Speaker 2: What's the foundation of these things? You know?
Speaker 6: Was that situation that that moment where your wife could
Speaker 6: have chose otherwise and she chose you? And so just
Speaker 6: curious because I think that as women, when we hear
Speaker 6: stories like this, like Mila said, we hear women that
Speaker 6: are like, have been with men that have been have
Speaker 6: had you say you didn't struggle with in fidelity, but
Speaker 6: maybe they've been in a relationship where like their partner
Speaker 6: has had infidelity and then they keep going back because
Speaker 6: their partner says.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm gonna be better, I'm gonna do better. I've
Speaker 4: been that woman.
Speaker 6: I'm just curious from a man's perspective, what are signs
Speaker 6: that women who are in those relationships that are in
Speaker 6: the process of giving their man and maybe the first chance, Like,
Speaker 6: how do you know you're like, this is a good investment?
Speaker 6: How do you know, like, what are the signs that
Speaker 6: a woman can look at in her man and say, Okay,
Speaker 6: I'm willing to take this chance because I believe in you, Like,
Speaker 6: what are what are those signs that they can look
Speaker 6: for Because I think a lot of times as women
Speaker 6: like we're just like going off trust and trust trust
Speaker 6: trust has already been broken exactly, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like, so I think I think you can't
Speaker 1: go off of potentially you have to go off trajectory, right,
Speaker 1: you have to go off of Okay, how is this
Speaker 1: person moving?
Speaker 2: Like how you do one thing is how you do everything? Right?
Speaker 2: So when you're dealing with somebody of.
Speaker 1: Character, if you're dealing with somebody who is honest, if
Speaker 1: you're dealing with somebody who like when I look at
Speaker 1: how you handle things, I can tell whether this was
Speaker 1: a mistake, Like this is a glitch in a make
Speaker 1: This is a glitch right here, right If this is
Speaker 1: who you are, it's just who you are, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So for a woman that said, I
Speaker 1: would never tell a woman to continue to go back
Speaker 1: or you know, I think emotional manipulation is an emotional
Speaker 1: trauma is just as toxic and dangerous as physical trauma,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So, well, yeah, sometimes it
Speaker 1: can be more, you know, So I would I would
Speaker 1: say that it's important to step back and look at
Speaker 1: who this person is, you know what I mean. Again,
Speaker 1: I'm not somebody who ever struggled in this area, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I've never been this undisciplined. Wow,
Speaker 1: dick nigga out here, just that's never been my move,
Speaker 1: never been my move, right, So something happened here, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, and I missed it. And also
Speaker 1: anybody who was around me in that season, you know
Speaker 1: it bothered me more than it bothered her.
Speaker 2: It could like it.
Speaker 1: It's one thing when you when you just slip up
Speaker 1: and you make a mistake when you're making offense, right,
Speaker 1: But when you hurt the person you.
Speaker 2: Love, you should be hurt. You shouldn't be okay, right,
Speaker 2: And that's a that's a that's another major sign.
Speaker 1: Right, Like if if you hurt your partner and they're
Speaker 1: not and you're devastating, they're not devastating. Something's wrong here
Speaker 1: and you're hurt and they're not hurt, and they just think, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not that big of stuff, Like it's
Speaker 1: not that big of a deal where you know you
Speaker 1: need to like the get over it language where you
Speaker 1: still you still tripping off of that. These are all no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is this is this is not the one We
Speaker 1: gotta deal with this because I think whenever in any relationship,
Speaker 1: a business relationship or marriage or friendship, you know, we
Speaker 1: come together and we like, okay, we're having a we're
Speaker 1: coming together to do this. You guys have a business relationship, right,
Speaker 1: good mind's bad choices, you know.
Speaker 2: What I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You guys are full out business parts, right, So if
Speaker 1: somebody goes and makes a move outside of what you
Speaker 1: guys agreed on, it doesn't mean you throw it away,
Speaker 1: but we definitely have to sit back and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: what was that?
Speaker 2: What's going on? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: If this is who the person is and you just
Speaker 1: hadn't called on to it, or maybe you thought they
Speaker 1: weren't gonna do that to you, well maybe it's time
Speaker 1: to like, you might want to step away from that
Speaker 1: situation if it doesn't work for you and that's who
Speaker 1: they are.
Speaker 2: But if it's just a season and they just y'all
Speaker 2: never we've been working together for years, I've never seen
Speaker 2: you do nothing like that. What made you do this? Ah?
Speaker 1: Well, I was dealing with this and then this happened,
Speaker 1: and I was afraid about this, and I just did
Speaker 1: this and I apologize, like I don't plan on ever
Speaker 1: doing that again. This is the language that makes you
Speaker 1: want to be like, okay, so you understand that this
Speaker 1: is not okay, right, Because if you don't understand it's
Speaker 1: not okay, then well we're probably gonna do it.
Speaker 2: We'll probably be here again.
Speaker 1: Six months, a year, six weeks, whatever, six years. So
Speaker 1: I think for me, I was. I couldn't believe. I
Speaker 1: was disgusted with myself, Like, Yo, that's what we're on, nigga,
Speaker 1: that's what we.
Speaker 2: At like because I felt cowardly and.
Speaker 5: It also happened to just be on TV in front
Speaker 5: of everybody.
Speaker 2: It wasn't on TV. That's part.
Speaker 1: That's what the stuff that people seen on TV. It
Speaker 1: wasn't that was TV when I really made it, made
Speaker 1: the bad turn.
Speaker 2: No one's seen it, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't believe it because I felt I felt cowardly.
Speaker 2: I felt more cowardly that.
Speaker 1: I allowed it to make it back to my wife
Speaker 1: without and it didn't come for me.
Speaker 2: Oh, I felt like a bitch, go ahead.
Speaker 5: That's something I think that people like people, what like
Speaker 5: when in times am I in? Like when in a
Speaker 5: certain maturity where people did stuff to trespass my trust
Speaker 5: or cheated or lied. My biggest thing is because I'm
Speaker 5: very much who I am. Was like, listen, this is
Speaker 5: a youth thing. Because you don't like yourself enough to
Speaker 5: be honest about what you've done. You don't like you
Speaker 5: or else you would have been fine saying hey, I
Speaker 5: don't want to really be in this relationship. So when
Speaker 5: you when you realize it like that, it's like if
Speaker 5: someone's apologetic, it's because they really dislike this thing that
Speaker 5: they did. But if they were so hard to hide it,
Speaker 5: it's like they don't really like who they actually are.
Speaker 5: Who you say you are and who you present as
Speaker 5: is not who you actually are. And that's where it
Speaker 5: gets tricky. It's like, say, be who you are or
Speaker 5: else you are, Like I think if you don't, if
Speaker 5: you don't feel bad about it, it's because you like
Speaker 5: to be. You like to show up as something that
Speaker 5: you actually are not. And that's what I don't fuck with.
Speaker 5: It's not generally about like the cheating or line. It's like, nigga,
Speaker 5: you told me you wanted to be in a committed relationship,
Speaker 5: you told me you wanted to be monogamous. We could
Speaker 5: have did some whole other, total other shit because I
Speaker 5: got some host too. But that's the thing is, niggas
Speaker 5: don't really generally want you to be on your own
Speaker 5: shit too. You would rather you do your own shit
Speaker 5: and me pretend and me not know what the fuck
Speaker 5: is going on so that you don't have to accept
Speaker 5: the same behavior. And I think That's what bothers me
Speaker 5: a lot about men is like the behavior that they
Speaker 5: generally do in secret. It's in secret because they wouldn't
Speaker 5: be able to handle it if their partner did it
Speaker 5: to them. And to me, that's some bitch ass shit.
Speaker 5: If you respect me as a friend, if you respect
Speaker 5: me as an adult and as a human, you're gonna
Speaker 5: be honest about what you're doing so that we can
Speaker 5: be on the same page. And if I so choose to,
Speaker 5: you know, either take it. I might go have a
Speaker 5: side piece too. But if you can't handle it, that
Speaker 5: lets me know that you don't like yourself because you
Speaker 5: don't want to see yourself and me. You don't want
Speaker 5: to see me display the same behaviors. And a lot
Speaker 5: of men are going to argue and say, well, my woman,
Speaker 5: I want to have a couple of women, and you
Speaker 5: will just my woman. You hear all the time, right,
Speaker 5: like men have women and then like but their women Neo,
Speaker 5: that's the only thing I could think of. But to me,
Speaker 5: like that in itself is an example of a man
Speaker 5: who doesn't really like the behavior and what she's displaying.
Speaker 5: Can't handle it in your partner, then you probably don't
Speaker 5: like the behavior in yourself, but you don't have the
Speaker 5: balls enough to say that.
Speaker 2: To me, I think it's I think it's a little
Speaker 2: more layered than that.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 6: If Neo doesn't like the behavior in himself, I think
Speaker 6: that he's benefiting from it.
Speaker 5: I mean, well, men benefit from it. But I'm saying
Speaker 5: is like, well, he's getting everything he wants, of course,
Speaker 5: because the women are like, I don't need any of
Speaker 5: the manner. Whatever the fuck they'd be saying. I don't
Speaker 5: get it. Seems delusional to me, and I do think
Speaker 5: it's layered.
Speaker 6: I think that there's like a lot of conditioning. I
Speaker 6: think there's like there is there's religion, there's just all
Speaker 6: the things that how a woman is supposed to show up,
Speaker 6: how wife is suppsed to show up, how valuableom' is
Speaker 6: suposed to show up, how Puss's supposed to show up?
Speaker 5: But what about equal rights?
Speaker 4: Of course?
Speaker 2: Why do you look like that? What?
Speaker 4: Let's ask the man.
Speaker 2: What about equal rights?
Speaker 5: I just feel like equal, I don't.
Speaker 2: I hate the word equal, by the way, don't.
Speaker 4: Why do you hate the word equal?
Speaker 2: Because what's equal? What is that?
Speaker 5: I think about humanity?
Speaker 4: Balance?
Speaker 2: There's nothing, there's there's nothing equal.
Speaker 1: There's nothing like if you I'm gonna pick like if
Speaker 1: if you look at the animal kingdom, right, nothing is
Speaker 1: equal in the animal kingdom.
Speaker 2: Right. If we look at.
Speaker 1: Men and it's like all men are not created equal,
Speaker 1: all women are not created equal.
Speaker 2: What is this equal stuff? Because everyone's not equal? You
Speaker 2: get what you go?
Speaker 3: Ah.
Speaker 5: I think from God's perspective, he creates us equally. Baby
Speaker 5: is a baby, is a baby is a baby?
Speaker 2: This is see this is where.
Speaker 5: Environment then gives us what we believe is what is
Speaker 5: either environment in society then gives us value. So from
Speaker 5: a from a divine perspective, as I create the tree,
Speaker 5: and I create the lion, and I create Marcus Black,
Speaker 5: they are all equally my creations in which I love unconditionally. Correct.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but God has favorites.
Speaker 4: And so like I don't know if God has favorites.
Speaker 5: Is that in the Bible? Absolutely, there's no question, like
Speaker 5: Mark John and well Jacob, well.
Speaker 1: Well we can we can go into somebody like right
Speaker 1: where in scripture God refers to like this is my friend,
Speaker 1: Like I speak to him face to face, mouth to mouth,
Speaker 1: like y'all think y'all can play with somebody who I
Speaker 1: consider a friend of mine.
Speaker 2: He's close to me.
Speaker 1: Like when you talk about King David, who a great
Speaker 1: man of guy, but King David made a mess. King
Speaker 1: David made the biggest mess. God loved David. This is
Speaker 1: he called David a man after his own heart. Even
Speaker 1: when you talk about Jacob and Esau being born, said Jacob,
Speaker 1: I love.
Speaker 2: And and and and and and not.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean in the sense of like he doesn't
Speaker 1: love Esau, but Jacob I have.
Speaker 5: Favor You know what, Jacob has more faith than Jacob
Speaker 5: talks to me more often.
Speaker 1: It lands how it lands. It's kind of like when
Speaker 1: you talk about the idea of luck.
Speaker 6: Right, but we're also talking about the imperfections of man. Right,
Speaker 6: So of course, like if if Esau has has funck
Speaker 6: sh up or he's terrible birth, Oh.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't understand. I thought that God just loved
Speaker 5: his people that he created.
Speaker 1: God loves everybody, but levels so unjust like I don't
Speaker 1: Jesus had favorites.
Speaker 2: Like there's a reason.
Speaker 5: Jesus was a man. He was a human.
Speaker 2: Jesus was all man and all God.
Speaker 5: Research this morning, I don't know, but stuff with you're
Speaker 5: gonna stud me with the Bible school.
Speaker 4: Second, let me Bible, so so for.
Speaker 1: Me, so much of our how society is ran it
Speaker 1: is pulled from Bible. Right, Like when we talk about yes,
Speaker 1: absolutely manipulad you know what I'm saying. But I'm just
Speaker 1: talking about it's important for us to know what Scripture says, right,
Speaker 1: because the moment we start talking about, well this is
Speaker 1: right and this is wrong, what makes it right and
Speaker 1: what makes it wrong? Where do we get this moral
Speaker 1: compass from right? If we get the moral compass from God,
Speaker 1: then there's a who gave us the moral compass.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So much of the world still operates off the teen Commandments, right, and.
Speaker 5: So it does it because did thou not shall kill
Speaker 5: their neighbor? I mean, I think it just gets it gets,
Speaker 5: It gets very muddy, right because I mean, I'm not
Speaker 5: I've read the Bible a long time ago, not anytime recently.
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna front, but did you read it the
Speaker 5: whole thing? We went through every chapter in Catholic school. Yes,
Speaker 5: I wasn't either, but that was.
Speaker 4: A Catholic school too. I'm like, you read that whole point.
Speaker 5: We had religion, But but this is where it gets
Speaker 5: tricky to me, and I know this is probably gonna
Speaker 5: get too deep, But even right now in present time,
Speaker 5: when we talk about God's favorites or God's chosen people,
Speaker 5: you see what that what happens when we put favoritism
Speaker 5: or hierarchy on humans, people then think it's justified to
Speaker 5: murder and kill and genocide and take land and kill babies.
Speaker 5: And then that's not really on a moral compass, is.
Speaker 1: People People don't read the Bible in context, right like,
Speaker 1: even when I won't even go over there to that topic,
Speaker 1: but even when I like, when you talk about the
Speaker 1: chosen people, it's not talking about that land, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, It's not talking about the people who
Speaker 1: have currently occupied that land.
Speaker 2: It was It's a.
Speaker 1: Lineage, and you're either a part of that lineage or not.
Speaker 2: And and and when and when.
Speaker 1: He chose those people. He didn't choose these people because
Speaker 1: they're just these are good or it's just better than everybody.
Speaker 1: He chose to reveal himself through these through this lineage.
Speaker 1: So when you talk about Holy annoyed, it just means
Speaker 1: it just means set apart these people.
Speaker 2: I took this and I'm saying, set apart to the side.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean. It doesn't mean better than everybody.
Speaker 2: It's just chosen, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like when the idea of luck right, luck finds who
Speaker 1: it wants right, Like if you hit a jackpot, did
Speaker 1: you do to deserve the jackpipe? When somebody has a
Speaker 1: lottery for five hundred million dollars? What did you do
Speaker 1: to deserve that? Just it's just landing on you, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And that's how God's favor works.
Speaker 1: God's favor God chooses.
Speaker 2: Who he wants. God picks who he wants.
Speaker 1: He loves everyone, but he has he has favorites, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's just if you if you
Speaker 1: have cousins, then you probably have you might have a
Speaker 1: favorite cousin, you know what I'm saying. You have siblings,
Speaker 1: you might have a favorite sibling. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't want to have this conversation,
Speaker 1: But if you have multiple children, a lot of time
Speaker 1: you have a favorite child.
Speaker 6: Talking about hum men, we're talking about humans, human to human,
Speaker 6: human to human.
Speaker 5: But I was just saying that all that to say
Speaker 5: back to the equal rights of relationships. It's just that
Speaker 5: I think that men have used the patriarchy and religion
Speaker 5: sometimes to place a burden or a struggle on women
Speaker 5: that they have to endure. They have to endure a
Speaker 5: certain amount of maybe infidelity or dishonesty in the realm
Speaker 5: of sex or sexual relationships, because that is in a
Speaker 5: man's nature. But no, it's not in your nature because
Speaker 5: you have a vagina and you're my wife, and if
Speaker 5: you do that what I did, then it's definitely over
Speaker 5: and I'm definitely gonna My love then is conditional and
Speaker 5: I no longer love you. But for me, this is
Speaker 5: my nature because I have a penis and God gave
Speaker 5: it to me and he said, soil your royal oaths
Speaker 5: or whatever God said. You know, but you know that
Speaker 5: that is where I think I get it.
Speaker 1: Gets Yeah, but it's you have people in power saying
Speaker 1: things that God never said.
Speaker 5: Okay, right, No one's doing the research.
Speaker 2: God never.
Speaker 1: There's nowhere in the Bible what God gives men the
Speaker 1: past to be sexually irresponsible. You know what I'm saying. Actually,
Speaker 1: when you go to scripture and people, a lot of
Speaker 1: people like to point out, well, this man was polygamist
Speaker 1: and this person was Polygamon. It's and it's like, you
Speaker 1: can't show me one time in a Bible where there's
Speaker 1: a partly relationship and it went well.
Speaker 2: It never goes well.
Speaker 1: It went back every single time, whether where the God
Speaker 1: condemned the person in that season or not.
Speaker 2: That's another conversation.
Speaker 1: And also there's certain things that's permissible on one season
Speaker 1: that's not permissible in another season. When God's goal is
Speaker 1: to populate the earth and build certain things.
Speaker 2: Okay, well we're not This is not five thousand years ago.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: We don't need to populate ship No populated.
Speaker 2: Men don't have the right to just like Lit's cheating
Speaker 2: is wrong. I don't care who you cheating on.
Speaker 5: You should not lie.
Speaker 2: Well, it doesn't say that, it doesn't.
Speaker 5: That's not a commandment really.
Speaker 1: But but but this is a this is a misconception.
Speaker 1: This is why our society is a mess, because we
Speaker 1: run around saying things. You have pastors, you have moms,
Speaker 1: you have people saying what the Bible says that it doesn't.
Speaker 5: Say that, and nowhere went to go check and nother
Speaker 5: one and so it's like it's too big. She's right,
Speaker 5: she said I.
Speaker 1: I was so annoyed when I dove into it and
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, y'all said this and it don't
Speaker 1: say that, and it's so off right.
Speaker 2: And then also like I.
Speaker 1: Was in a conversation, now this is this just to
Speaker 1: just to give you a different perspective. I was in
Speaker 1: a conversation in the barber shopping. The guy was looking
Speaker 1: at me like crazy. It was like some Marcus, So
Speaker 1: if you're if your wife cheating on you, what you doing?
Speaker 2: And I was like, I said, I pray I never
Speaker 2: have to see that day. Right.
Speaker 1: But I was like, going back to what I was saying,
Speaker 1: either we or earlier we go off of off of pattern.
Speaker 2: My wife has never ever been quote unquote promiscuous.
Speaker 1: What society said calls it right, She's never been out there,
Speaker 1: she's n it's never been her. If she becomes something
Speaker 1: today that she wasn't, I was zooming and be like, okay,
Speaker 1: what's that.
Speaker 2: That's one two. This is my wife. This is my wife,
Speaker 2: Like we're together every day.
Speaker 1: If somehow she can meet a man, he can court her,
Speaker 1: woo her, whatever her enough to be able to get
Speaker 1: them draws.
Speaker 2: And I missed the whole thing.
Speaker 1: That that means there's there's been some level of abandonment
Speaker 1: on my end in disconnection. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: There's no way somebody can get that in I'm two
Speaker 1: hands on, I'm too.
Speaker 2: Away, I'm too tapped into.
Speaker 6: Do you think that that same concept can be flipped
Speaker 6: as far as we like for a woman, like if
Speaker 6: her man cheated, is that does she need to analyze
Speaker 6: that concept as well?
Speaker 4: Like if my man had time to go court a woman.
Speaker 6: I mean, obviously it's different, right because I think men
Speaker 6: and they're there, their relation to sex or intimacy is
Speaker 6: different than a woman's relation to sex or intimacy. But
Speaker 6: I'm just curious, does that does that go both ways?
Speaker 6: Because when I asked you originally was like, what what
Speaker 6: are the green flags?
Speaker 4: And cheating?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 4: Like, what are the green flags? That's what green flags?
Speaker 6: But like I mean, like, if you're gonna stay, you're
Speaker 6: gonna work it out, what are the green flags in
Speaker 6: your partner that you're like, Okay, I'm gonna work it
Speaker 6: out because these are the things that I'm willing to
Speaker 6: analyze and view about my partner and say, okay, But
Speaker 6: this is an isolated situation. Historically, you haven't done this.
Speaker 6: Number one is what I think is and number two, now,
Speaker 6: what you're saying on your side is shit. Where am
Speaker 6: I lacking here? Where am I laking?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 4: Does does that also go on?
Speaker 2: On the woman side? Is different?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 2: It's different.
Speaker 1: And going back to this is why I believe that
Speaker 1: double standards are beautiful and I think it's important to
Speaker 1: understand that we're not equal. Right, so, most women, I
Speaker 1: will never make a blank I don't like blanket statements.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna speak for all women. Most women who
Speaker 1: are loved properly by their man, they typically don't have
Speaker 1: eyes for other men most right now, men, you can
Speaker 1: have the most amazing wife and she do everything perfect
Speaker 1: and the eyes will still move you and you have
Speaker 1: to check it right. So as a as a as
Speaker 1: a as a man, I will look at my wife,
Speaker 1: who I know this is, this is this is not
Speaker 1: her nature to just that's not what she's on. She's wrong, absolutely,
Speaker 1: But it's like, how do we get here? And how
Speaker 1: did I miss it? There's no way I miss it
Speaker 1: if I'm intentional and I'm and I'm hands on and
Speaker 1: I'm and I'm in there and I'm.
Speaker 2: Present in my relationship. There's no way I miss something
Speaker 2: like that. There's no way. She's probably been talking to
Speaker 2: me about things that's bothering her and I brushed it off.
Speaker 1: She felt ignored, she felt unseen, she felt unheard. Maybe
Speaker 1: she didn't feel beautiful. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she's not.
Speaker 2: She's she missed a lot.
Speaker 1: And and even still my wife is very, very bold,
Speaker 1: like she'll just be like, yeah, nah, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying before she just goes and go does it
Speaker 1: and does something else.
Speaker 2: That's just who she is. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: As a man, because it is more in our nature
Speaker 1: and all that I can. I can when I tell you,
Speaker 1: I can open up the Bible and walk everything that
Speaker 1: we're talking about. I can pinpoint to you where this
Speaker 1: come from, how this happened, why it happened, and why
Speaker 1: you feel how you feel. I can literally it will
Speaker 1: take another episode, but I can literally walk it down.
Speaker 1: So when you just that, just that just threw me over.
Speaker 2: Look, I got add Well, I just said we were just.
Speaker 5: Talking about.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 5: If you would take her back if she cheated up?
Speaker 2: No, So because of the nature, right, men will go
Speaker 2: out of their way.
Speaker 1: To hide it you know what I'm saying, men will
Speaker 1: duck more because it's like you just want to get
Speaker 1: that off, like there was nothing wrong. You just wanted
Speaker 1: to go get that off, like it doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be something wrong.
Speaker 5: I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm not saying you're not wrong. Women,
Speaker 5: it takes a lot more, I think, especially as of
Speaker 5: a certain age, to act on intimacy when you're in love.
Speaker 6: I just had a high thought immediately, the high thought,
Speaker 6: and niggas, I'm not gonna like this, maybe they will.
Speaker 4: I think that from all the data that you've.
Speaker 6: Just shared, data, all the information I've been hearing that
Speaker 6: if a woman cheats, she needs a lot more like
Speaker 6: she deserves a pass. I feel like if a woman cheats,
Speaker 6: she deserves a past number one. All nigga to get
Speaker 6: cheating women a past number one. I just feel like,
Speaker 6: I mean, because generally, if you're cheating, I think it's
Speaker 6: you're right, Because I mean, I can only speak for
Speaker 6: myself and I can speak for like the data that
Speaker 6: I've done amongst my friends that generally, if a woman
Speaker 6: is cheating, it is because there is something lacking in
Speaker 6: her partnership that she has been ignored and has tried
Speaker 6: to express herself and it has gone on deaf fears.
Speaker 6: It's usually not just because they're the fine. Like maybe
Speaker 6: when I was like eighteen, and I would just like
Speaker 6: I just wanted to try things and really in love. Yeah,
Speaker 6: like when you're like when you're when you're older, I
Speaker 6: would say that there's like a little more substance. However,
Speaker 6: trauma still shows up and the need for attention and
Speaker 6: all those things are still present. So let's not ignore
Speaker 6: those things. But I would say generally it is because
Speaker 6: there's something lacking. And so basically my high thought is
Speaker 6: it's your fault.
Speaker 2: Well, no, that's toxic.
Speaker 5: You know what I asked Orlando recently, I was like,
Speaker 5: if I cheated on you, I asked recently, if I
Speaker 5: cheated on you, would you be more mad? I said,
Speaker 5: would you be more mad if it was like a
Speaker 5: one off that lasted like six months, or would you
Speaker 5: be mad if it were you be more mad if
Speaker 5: you found out it was multiple people? And he said,
Speaker 5: he said, if it was multiple people, I knew it
Speaker 5: was a youth thing. And if it was one off,
Speaker 5: I you know, one person for for long like a
Speaker 5: period of time, it's a s problem. I think that's like,
Speaker 5: that's true, that's a good questions.
Speaker 2: I think I think that's strong. You know.
Speaker 1: Also, I actually will be far more bothered about my
Speaker 1: wife Pillow talking with a man about my business and
Speaker 1: mentioning me to another man that actually being intimate, because.
Speaker 5: It's a respect and a privacy thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like that that way is gonna make me
Speaker 2: want to smoke everything.
Speaker 5: Because now you're you're confiding in somebody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you know, like me trying to make me
Speaker 1: seem weaker in front of another man.
Speaker 2: That's making man crash. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: If you want to get your little box away, go
Speaker 1: and get your little box away, and that's your's.
Speaker 5: Your box, your little box away. I have a question.
Speaker 4: We have some questions. I know we don't want to ask.
Speaker 6: We don't have a lot of time, so I would
Speaker 6: love to get into We asked our Discord shout out
Speaker 6: to our Discord community. If you haven't joined our Discord community,
Speaker 6: make sure you come join our private community where we
Speaker 6: be chatting it up and our girls be chatting it up.
Speaker 6: It'd be lating there. There's there's different channels. There's a
Speaker 6: girl guest what channel where you go and you share
Speaker 6: just exciting news. There's the titty channel.
Speaker 5: What does it know?
Speaker 6: The only XX channel where all women and we share
Speaker 6: our nudes because sometimes we just need to share our
Speaker 6: nudes and not with men. But was wondering to like, hey,
Speaker 6: should I send this to this nigga or not? Or
Speaker 6: I felt sexy today? Like make give me some look,
Speaker 6: give me some love.
Speaker 4: You're coughing right in the mic, fucking Lizzie. Jeff shout
Speaker 4: out to Lizzie, make sure you join our discord. You
Speaker 4: have to join our patreons.
Speaker 6: Make sure you go to patreon dot com slash Good
Speaker 6: Mom's Bad Choices and you get all of our episodes
Speaker 6: early and you get access to our discord community.
Speaker 5: But we're doing a lot of talking in there. So
Speaker 5: these questions. A couple of these questions come from Miss Toya.
Speaker 5: Shout out to Miss Toya, came on a retreat this
Speaker 5: last year, who was right here in La Hey, Carol,
Speaker 5: she said, this is a good one. What what a
Speaker 5: what lie about masculinity almost costs you love?
Speaker 2: Mhm.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 1: So in my in my in my book Bulletproof Love,
Speaker 1: I talk about an experience I have with I had
Speaker 1: with my pops. My pops that raised me and based
Speaker 1: off his trump like he was trying to help me,
Speaker 1: but his trauma projecting. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: He was trying to help me, but it didn't work.
Speaker 1: So basically he told me, if you want to have
Speaker 1: a successful relationship, not verbating, but this is what he
Speaker 1: was saying, if you want to have a successful relationship,
Speaker 1: you keep your woman out your business. And I took
Speaker 1: that with me and I did that and it almost
Speaker 1: cost me everything. You know what I'm saying. It actually
Speaker 1: had me moving in silence like that was the masculine
Speaker 1: thing to do. And you know, when I dove in,
Speaker 1: and I really understood when I dove in the scripture.
Speaker 1: I understood because when you talk about marriage like marriage
Speaker 1: was created by God. You have the institution of marriage
Speaker 1: that was created by that turned it into a business.
Speaker 2: But it was created by God.
Speaker 1: So when you see how he created it, it's like,
Speaker 1: if my wife is my helper, if she's my asset,
Speaker 1: how can she help me if I'm keeping her out
Speaker 1: of my business?
Speaker 2: This is like completely illogical.
Speaker 1: I have a business partner, and if you want to
Speaker 1: have a successful business, keep your business partner out your Yeah,
Speaker 1: like how and it cooked me and it's a lot
Speaker 1: of rewiring.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's one of them for sure.
Speaker 5: What does emotional safety look like from a man's perspective?
Speaker 5: How can women provide emotional safety for a man?
Speaker 2: It looks like creating an environment.
Speaker 1: Where I feel safe enough to communicate my thoughts and
Speaker 1: my truths to you without me feeling judged, without me
Speaker 1: feeling ridiculed, without me having to pay for it later,
Speaker 1: you know, without you bringing it up and to weaponize
Speaker 1: my truth and using it against me when it's convenient.
Speaker 2: Or when you're hurt. Right.
Speaker 1: One of the one of one of my favorite attributes
Speaker 1: about my wife as a wife is I can have
Speaker 1: a conversation with her. I can tell her what my
Speaker 1: thoughts are, what I'm dealing with her when I'm going
Speaker 1: to She's not gonna make it about her. She's not
Speaker 1: gonna like, she's not going to use it and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I need to put my guard up now because no, no, no.
Speaker 2: She's gonna Okay, Well, how are you feeling well? What
Speaker 2: do you want to do about that? You know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying? Or do you need my help?
Speaker 1: Or because there's times when I'm just venting to my
Speaker 1: wife and I don't need help. I'm just kind of
Speaker 1: need to put this here. And there's other times, like
Speaker 1: there's certain time when I'll tell my wife I separate,
Speaker 1: I want to talk right now, I'm talking to my friend.
Speaker 1: I need my friend right now. My friend is just
Speaker 1: I just need to listen to here. When I'm talking
Speaker 1: to my wife, I need solution, I need my helper,
Speaker 1: right So being able to separate the two, but yeah.
Speaker 6: I think that's great advice, like the separating because I
Speaker 6: think as people just in relation with people, not even
Speaker 6: just in marriage, but in friendship.
Speaker 4: Like the other day, was having a conversation with my friend.
Speaker 6: And he was calling a check on me about something
Speaker 6: and he was immediately giving me advice and I was like, hey,
Speaker 6: I really I don't need advice, but I want to
Speaker 6: talk to you, so if you can just listen and
Speaker 6: we can just talk in that way, and he was like, okay, cool.
Speaker 6: But I think we often like people know that people
Speaker 6: at this point in like listening to podcasts, you listen
Speaker 6: to enough Enough wellness podcast, you listen to enough like
Speaker 6: you know that you know these things are you can
Speaker 6: do them. But it's a matter of feeling brave enough
Speaker 6: to say to they're like, hey, I need you to
Speaker 6: be my friend right now.
Speaker 2: It's really important and in practice of it too, so.
Speaker 6: It doesn't feel like and bringing that into your relationship
Speaker 6: is transformational, I'm sure because your wife is able to
Speaker 6: really like know really how to support you, and that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: So yeah, in all relationships, right, I have two beautiful
Speaker 1: little girls. My oldest I'll be fifteen in two months,
Speaker 1: and my baby girl is six. And you know, as
Speaker 1: a man, you have to be very intentional will creating
Speaker 1: safety for your little girls, because there's a fine balance
Speaker 1: between being the friend and being the father, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. But if I want, like my oldest,
Speaker 1: like she's in high school now right, if I want
Speaker 1: to be on the end, I have to I have
Speaker 1: to create a pattern, you know what I mean of
Speaker 1: her knowing she can come tell me something without being done.
Speaker 2: I don't care what she tell me. Okay, there might
Speaker 2: now now I'll let her know.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be certain times why I might let you know,
Speaker 1: Okay that's a little disappointing. Why because I know you
Speaker 1: can do better, you know what I'm saying. But you're
Speaker 1: not going to be judged. I'm not going to use
Speaker 1: it against you. I'm not going to vilify you and
Speaker 1: act like you're the worst person in the world. You
Speaker 1: didn't do something today that I've never done or your
Speaker 1: mama never done, and no one has ever done before.
Speaker 1: So I think creating safety is in any relationship. Who
Speaker 1: wants to share with somebody who's going to judge them, Well.
Speaker 4: People don't even realize they're doing it, you know.
Speaker 6: Like I've had to really work on how I ask
Speaker 6: questions and like leading with a lot more hows and
Speaker 6: what than I think or what do you like? Maybe
Speaker 6: you should or you know, because we think that we're
Speaker 6: we I think some people genuinely that's how they feel
Speaker 6: like they're presenting themselves. And then that's kind of the
Speaker 6: disruption in the relationship and it's actually like two people
Speaker 6: that really actually want to show up for one another,
Speaker 6: but they don't they don't know how to ask questions.
Speaker 6: I feel like that's a lot of I feel like
Speaker 6: when I what I hear from men a lot is
Speaker 6: like the emotional safety that they want from women is
Speaker 6: exactly what you just said, is the just like the
Speaker 6: listening ear because as women, we want to nurture, we
Speaker 6: want to fix, we want to improve, and sometimes I
Speaker 6: feel like that is often like the communication break between
Speaker 6: men and women is that it's that simple thing because
Speaker 6: we actually want the same things. Like when we think
Speaker 6: about it, right, we just we want to communicate, we
Speaker 6: want to we want to build, we want to we
Speaker 6: want to play our roles. So it's like about knowing
Speaker 6: when to play that role and which role we're playing,
Speaker 6: and being able to ask for that role to show
Speaker 6: up and.
Speaker 2: Go what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You have to know I have to be intentional about
Speaker 1: being like, oh no, I actually don't need my wife
Speaker 1: right now. I just need my friend and tell her
Speaker 1: how I need her to show up. That comes with awareness, though,
Speaker 1: you have to be able to know what you need
Speaker 1: and don't. I don't need I don't need my fire,
Speaker 1: I don't need big dog right now. I don't need
Speaker 1: my dog to come. Listen to what I'm what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: She and she's really good about that, you know, super
Speaker 2: good about that.
Speaker 5: And it's important to be like, like you said, self
Speaker 5: aware because a lot of times we're just saying things
Speaker 5: we're making it someone else's issue instead of being this
Speaker 5: is what I need, and like asking for what you need,
Speaker 5: like identifying the feeling, asking yourself first what do I need,
Speaker 5: and then asking the person like handy your show up
Speaker 5: in this way because a lot of times we're expecting
Speaker 5: things from people. Hey, we don't even know what the
Speaker 5: fuck we actually need because we haven't checked in with ourselves.
Speaker 5: And then we're expecting things from people and they don't
Speaker 5: know what you need and they don't read minds, and
Speaker 5: then it creates this cycle of resentment that you know
Speaker 5: that you can't come back from, and it can all
Speaker 5: be cured by just simply knowing what you need and
Speaker 5: asking for it.
Speaker 1: That's why I always say I would if I could
Speaker 1: start over from scratch, I wouldn't even I would never
Speaker 1: even date before.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even date before thirty years old.
Speaker 5: Literally, I mean I'm talking about don't go out.
Speaker 1: Maybe I might hang out with friends, that's about dating.
Speaker 1: I would never date anyone before we go to practice.
Speaker 5: Well no, no, no no no, like long term waste
Speaker 5: of time.
Speaker 1: But also when you even when you're talking about sports,
Speaker 1: like like I love who right? I agree with this no,
Speaker 1: because because there's a certain thing that's practicing the marriage.
Speaker 4: I think marriage is a different thing. I think dating
Speaker 4: has to happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there's a certain thing as seeing the wrong
Speaker 2: way like.
Speaker 6: Practically just it just wasting school for dating. You need
Speaker 6: school for dating resolved. If the school for dating existing.
Speaker 5: You know what that like, because then we wouldn't have
Speaker 5: all these dumb ass gender wars, especially Black people. We
Speaker 5: don't want to have these gender wars. When you work
Speaker 5: on the table, it would be clear we could communicate,
Speaker 5: if we could probably like heal love, we could heal
Speaker 5: the world, if we could heal inner personal inner relationships
Speaker 5: between men and women. Genuinely, it would it would. I
Speaker 5: mean honestly, that's even in the black community. That's why
Speaker 5: they've actually planted seeds of toxicity so that we wouldn't
Speaker 5: figure it out. But this is people don't realize when
Speaker 5: when I got the internet and we're on the internet
Speaker 5: talking about dumb ass ship like who you gonna feed first,
Speaker 5: the baby or the husband, and like like the stupid
Speaker 5: ship that doesn't need to be discussed, Like are you
Speaker 5: like we just removed the love and the basics out
Speaker 5: of it. We do need to learn and there's so much,
Speaker 5: there's so much trauma. Like slavery did a hell of
Speaker 5: a job on trust, on love, on ownership, like it
Speaker 5: really did a lot.
Speaker 1: And so now you know what the biggest thing that
Speaker 1: slavery did to us though, it made us anti Bible,
Speaker 1: because the Bible was used to destroy us. That's why
Speaker 1: they have they had a negro Bible where they they
Speaker 1: took out the stuff that was good for us and
Speaker 1: they left in stuff that was terrible.
Speaker 2: It was nonsense.
Speaker 1: I would love to come back sometime soon and have
Speaker 1: a conversation and show.
Speaker 6: You guys, you break down the scripture for us, I
Speaker 6: will break down the second Are your pastor?
Speaker 4: Are you pastor? Marcus Black?
Speaker 5: They need religious not religious, not religious, like because I
Speaker 5: have there's a lot of religious trauma people which which
Speaker 5: religious trauma is deep.
Speaker 2: They all experienced it.
Speaker 1: But like when you talk about relationships, when I tell
Speaker 1: you God gave us the perfect blueprint for it.
Speaker 2: And we were all of it.
Speaker 4: If you know we took religion out of it.
Speaker 1: If we just take the institution, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Like Jesus wasn't a Christian. Jesus was not into the
Speaker 1: he was not under this institution of the No, when
Speaker 1: we get into it and we know what it actually says,
Speaker 1: it can help us when you see the double standards
Speaker 1: that are in there, and you see why when you
Speaker 1: see all the things that they told you're going to
Speaker 1: go to Hell over God, and scripture never says it.
Speaker 2: We will have I think.
Speaker 1: I think I think we will have a breakthroughster Black.
Speaker 1: I think I think if we if we take it's
Speaker 1: gonna be a little longer. I think if we take
Speaker 1: it like an hour and a half and.
Speaker 4: We just walked, I would enjoy it.
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 6: I started reading the Bible this year, and when I
Speaker 6: was told you, I don't know who I was telling
Speaker 6: because I didn't tell anybody that I had been like
Speaker 6: going to church and like just exploring what that means
Speaker 6: to me and my discomfort with it and then all
Speaker 6: but the thing that really revealed itself to me was
Speaker 6: really reading the scripture and being like, damn, some of
Speaker 6: these stories are lit. And then I was like, damn,
Speaker 6: this actually makes a lot of sense. And then I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 6: that doesn't mean what you're saying. It means why are
Speaker 6: you what are you trying to do?
Speaker 4: Stop that? You know so it's been like.
Speaker 6: It's been affirming to my intuition around religion, which is like,
Speaker 6: I don't fuck with it. But then it's also been
Speaker 6: enlightening because I in a lot of ways because I
Speaker 6: went to Catholic school, I was in religion class.
Speaker 4: Bitch, I was high, which I was high as hell
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 6: I was trying to get through religious class, religion class, like,
Speaker 6: that's what I was trying to do. I was trying
Speaker 6: to get the A shut the fuck up because you're
Speaker 6: talking some bullshit over there, talking about whatever and missing
Speaker 6: the message, and so like as an adult being able
Speaker 6: to read it, it's been it's been enlightening in ways,
Speaker 6: and it's very how much highlighted, Like yeah, the religious
Speaker 6: aspect if you pull it out of it and.
Speaker 4: You look at it from like that's more a more
Speaker 4: spiritual way research.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you.
Speaker 7: Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: The greatest asset to God would be women like you
Speaker 1: knowing the truth about scripture because you guys are honest.
Speaker 2: You guys are truth truth tellers.
Speaker 1: You guys are blunt, you guys are gonna, you have
Speaker 1: no problem calling cap you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: the world would be changed with women like you guys
Speaker 1: knowing the truth.
Speaker 4: Could you imagine do you imagine us going around with
Speaker 4: our bibles the city?
Speaker 2: The city?
Speaker 5: I can see it right now, And just.
Speaker 2: From just calling cap like, hey, y'all said that this
Speaker 2: is nonsense. God never said that.
Speaker 4: Excuse me, I don't think you're right.
Speaker 5: We're not here to turn you.
Speaker 4: We're just going on tour, but not the same, not
Speaker 4: that kind of tour.
Speaker 6: Gone.
Speaker 4: No, actually no, no I'm not. I'm being silly. But
Speaker 4: I also I understand what you're saying. I understand.
Speaker 5: No, I mean I'd rather know the information for myself.
Speaker 5: I visited, I went, I studied the Bible, but not
Speaker 5: in years because I do it puts a religion, put
Speaker 5: a bad taste in my mouth for a lot of reasons.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm trying.
Speaker 5: I would rather know the information than that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, studying the Bible is a lot, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So you have certain people who read the Bible,
Speaker 1: but then studying is a whole other world. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: gotta know that the Bible was written in Hebrew, Ara, Maic,
Speaker 1: in Greek. Right, So if you're not sitting up cross
Speaker 1: referencing the languages you're already, You're already on the outs.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, because trying to make it
Speaker 1: make sense. This is why people think that, oh well,
Speaker 1: the Bible contradicts itself. The Bible has no contradictions. If
Speaker 1: you see a contradiction, you probably doesn't know. You probably
Speaker 1: don't know what what this actually means.
Speaker 2: You just got to study.
Speaker 6: I think it's important to read as many ancient texts
Speaker 6: as you can. Why would I want to live in
Speaker 6: this life without any information about the best way people
Speaker 6: before me?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: And yeah, and so it's just I think.
Speaker 1: That, and then people people go grab other books and
Speaker 1: that people stay away from the Bible. They be like, well,
Speaker 1: it's man made. Every book you read is man made.
Speaker 1: Everything that you know is information passed down from another man.
Speaker 1: But you want to ex out this book, which is
Speaker 1: not logical. But this was a good time, ladies, I know,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming.
Speaker 5: I know it's one of eight right now when need
Speaker 5: your affirmation. Share a lot of jams, but look, aff affirmation.
Speaker 2: Hold on because I wrote it down.
Speaker 1: No, because last time y'all just sprung it on me
Speaker 1: and I wasn't ready and I was like, what's that
Speaker 1: not today, he does have smart.
Speaker 4: Ship to say off the top of your.
Speaker 2: Head, I'm very calculated.
Speaker 7: No, you know what.
Speaker 4: I love to feel prepared for things.
Speaker 1: So marks black affirmations. Okay, I take ownership of my life,
Speaker 1: my choices, and my healing. I don't blame my past.
Speaker 1: I learned from it. I lead with integrity, I love
Speaker 1: with intention, and I moved with wisdom. I'm disciplined, emotionally mature,
Speaker 1: built for longevity.
Speaker 2: Did like that? That beautiful damn?
Speaker 5: I say, I, Shay, I have to write that one
Speaker 5: down for the post it I send it to y'all.
Speaker 5: Thank you for for dropping in with us today and
Speaker 5: sharing your wisdom. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2: So we are we going to do the part? The
Speaker 2: part to come on?
Speaker 4: Let's do it?
Speaker 6: How do we You're gonna sit here in the middle.
Speaker 6: We're gonna sit there because how we we all have
Speaker 6: our Bibles.
Speaker 4: You tell us what page to open?
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna have to order one.
Speaker 2: We'll figure it out.
Speaker 4: Well, you know I have one. My mom has a.
Speaker 5: Couple of them over there.
Speaker 4: I almost took the Christian left the Bible on my doorstep.
Speaker 4: My phone said, I need Jesus.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I just had a pink.
Speaker 5: I remember I have this.
Speaker 2: Section on my phone.
Speaker 1: You see, I got I got the Holy Bible right there,
Speaker 1: I got the toy right here, and I even got
Speaker 1: the corona here.
Speaker 5: I mean you should all the Holy Text.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll go into it later. I'll make a loven.
Speaker 1: Just start going down the street too.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 6: I'm I'm grateful that you've done your you're doing your
Speaker 6: due diligence, and you're educating yourself and for the work
Speaker 6: you've done, just as someone who speaks very candidly and
Speaker 6: empowers people to understand love so that we can all
Speaker 6: be in togetherness together and that we can save our families,
Speaker 6: and that we can grow and evolve and be good humans.
Speaker 5: So thank you teaching our kids how to love and
Speaker 5: learning how to love is literally.
Speaker 4: Thank you being good to your wife. Thank you for
Speaker 4: being a good man to your wife.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Yeah, I'm actually going to one of
Speaker 1: these times. I'm gonna bring her up here. I would
Speaker 1: love we would love to have tick tack. The other
Speaker 1: day and this lady was like, I want to hear
Speaker 1: from Brook because how we know you actually living like that?
Speaker 4: Imagine Brook is in the corner like a battered.
Speaker 2: Not because we've seen it, because we've seen this before.
Speaker 1: No, it's funny, but we've seen this before. We've seen
Speaker 1: we have you know, we've seen the gurus.
Speaker 7: Yeah, just like yeah, so no, I'll bring it through.
Speaker 7: But listen the Bible study of you fire.
Speaker 2: Let's do it. Let's do it.
Speaker 6: I'm down, well, y'all. We love you, and happy Valentine's Day.
Speaker 6: I hope that you love yourself today. Do something kind
Speaker 6: for yourself, do something kind for your partner, or just
Speaker 6: shake the mass in your house, do something.
Speaker 5: Cook yourself a meal for yourself, some wine or some tea.
Speaker 5: Just yeah, go to the jacuzzi.
Speaker 6: And if you're around this summertime, come to the Good
Speaker 6: Fiber Tree. We have two retreats this summer in Costa Rica,
Speaker 6: our favorite place on Earth. It's about time that you
Speaker 6: fucking come. We've talked about it at length, so I'm
Speaker 6: not really going to go into all the details. I'm
Speaker 6: gonna just leave a link in this bio. You can
Speaker 6: click it and then you can see all the fun
Speaker 6: ship we're doing and all the friends we have because
Speaker 6: of the ship we're doing.
Speaker 4: You can find me on Instagram.
Speaker 6: Outwatch Erica and Me and Mila underscore, map, rate and
Speaker 6: review this fucking episode and.
Speaker 5: Telling people where they can find you.
Speaker 1: Mister Black ah Man, Marcus Black, m vr c us
Speaker 1: b l v c K my website the.
Speaker 2: Bulletprooflove dot Com. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Go get your copy. Learn how to heal from childhood trauma.
Speaker 1: Stop dragging all that bs around. Learn how to bulletproof
Speaker 1: your relationship. Give us some durability so it don't break
Speaker 1: by life life.
Speaker 4: Yes, go get the bug Bulletproof Love at Blue.
Speaker 2: The Bulletproof Love Love, Bulletproof Love dot Com.
Speaker 4: Anyway, what's you guys next week?
Speaker 3: Bye bye please?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm living this so good? Can't you tell? I
Speaker 2: went through a drought?
Speaker 3: That's until I find a well may might have been
Speaker 3: known Earth that used to be broken? Tell now got
Speaker 3: the blues dancer like Beyonce Jasell throat shot or pop
Speaker 3: in this cow wearing our voices patriarch and catch it
Speaker 3: in the box to what'spoil this? Women put the pia powers,
Speaker 3: So what's pointless? They want me to be good, so
Speaker 3: I make that choices. Bad mom, not a bad mom,
Speaker 3: but a bad mom. It he's in on the cannabus
Speaker 3: in their bathbon walked in Boscels cap and I blewis
Speaker 3: cat boss hot dog.
Speaker 4: Now I'm immune to.
Speaker 3: The cat called Herbie in the waisted straight to it
Speaker 3: like a dollar sign. Mother, rent the lover when two
Speaker 3: with it like a watersooning where you're rent the winter
Speaker 3: essential will when the summertime.
Speaker 2: I do what doll ain't know one that needs to
Speaker 2: run it by