WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Mistah Secure

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<v Speaker 1>Second date update. This happens every so often, but sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>a listener will do a second date update with us

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<v Speaker 1>that doesn't end with a yes. But the thing is,

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<v Speaker 1>they're so impressed by us, specifically me and my efforts

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<v Speaker 1>to jump start their love lives, that they're willing to

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<v Speaker 1>call back and give it another go. You know, you

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<v Speaker 1>don't have to do mouth to mouth anymore with CPR,

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<v Speaker 1>but I like, yeah, that's why Justin has reached out

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<v Speaker 1>to us once again. He was on a few months back,

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<v Speaker 1>and last time the lady he went out with was

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<v Speaker 1>not impressed because she showed up an hour late to dinner,

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<v Speaker 1>but said Justin wasn't mad enough to be mad about

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<v Speaker 1>it and cancel what I think. I remember that it

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<v Speaker 1>was really weird and that call definitely crashed and burned,

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<v Speaker 1>but we promised to try and do better for Justin

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<v Speaker 1>this time. So Justin, welcome back. Hey, thank you guys

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<v Speaker 1>for having me. Oh man, how long did you wait

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<v Speaker 1>for your date to show up this time? Justin? No,

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<v Speaker 1>she actually came right on time this time. Test and

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<v Speaker 1>you failed it supposed to get up and leave and

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<v Speaker 1>make her way. Yeah. I think that show's improvement. And

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<v Speaker 1>I heard that you've been actually doing a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>of research since the last time you were on with us. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like the learning process never really ends. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>always trying to better myself. You know, I heard about

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<v Speaker 1>this book called Attached. Have you guys? Are you familiar

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<v Speaker 1>with it? Attached? I don't. Yeah, reading is not on

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<v Speaker 1>the top of the list of hobbies for this group,

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<v Speaker 1>so but tell us about it. What is attached about? So,

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<v Speaker 1>this book basically talked about how most people come into

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<v Speaker 1>three different psychological categories while dating. Okay, secure, where you

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<v Speaker 1>can communicate openly and like I could be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I know you're busy, but I just kind of get

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<v Speaker 1>nervous when you don't text back. Could you text me?

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<v Speaker 1>Just let me know, even if it's just like a

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<v Speaker 1>little thumbs up or something. Oh, it's like the type

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<v Speaker 1>of communicator you are. Exactly three groups. They're secure, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>The other two categories are anxious and avoidant. Anxious people

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<v Speaker 1>are like the super needy ones where it's just like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you gotta text me, and if you don't hear a

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<v Speaker 1>text back, you're texting them like twenty times, like where

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<v Speaker 1>are you? Where are you registered? For you? I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if I'm necessarily anxious in that sense, but in

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<v Speaker 1>real life I'm anxious a lot. Yeah, and then what's

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<v Speaker 1>the other one? Again? The last one is avoidant, where

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<v Speaker 1>like if things start getting real, they'll push apart a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit, like they want distance. They don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>be smothered or anything. Okay, can you be more than one?

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<v Speaker 1>Like I feel like I'm the first two combined. You

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<v Speaker 1>have to read the book and find out. I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>gonna wait for the movie to come out. Sounds really

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<v Speaker 1>like a fun movie, Jeff. Yeah, if they can to

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<v Speaker 1>make it really short because my attentions fan isn't great. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So which which one are you justin? So I'm secure

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<v Speaker 1>with traits of anxious and so you can be more

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<v Speaker 1>than one? Okay? Okay, So how did that change dating?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just really open and communicative about what I'm expecting

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<v Speaker 1>how I feel. No more games of like like you know,

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<v Speaker 1>with the girl who was late, I could just be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>you're late, that made me feel this way? What's going on?

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<v Speaker 1>You know? Just talk about it? So we did we

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<v Speaker 1>go on a date or are we just hearing about

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<v Speaker 1>how your love life has improved? For everybody in the

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<v Speaker 1>or Justin wrote this book and he's trying to sell exactly. Yea,

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<v Speaker 1>So how does all this relate to your new and

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<v Speaker 1>improved dating life? So I put this on my dating

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<v Speaker 1>profile where I said secure attachment styles only, and it

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<v Speaker 1>didn't really get me any clicks. Yeah, but then I

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<v Speaker 1>put that smiley emoji with like the sweat drop coming

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<v Speaker 1>on the forehead, you know, and that got so who

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<v Speaker 1>matched with your secure people only demand? With this wonderful

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<v Speaker 1>woman named Kelly. She's an interior designer, absolutely very very secure,

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<v Speaker 1>and I kind of wanted to have her see what

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<v Speaker 1>I did. Um. I don't even know if we spoke

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<v Speaker 1>about this last time. I'm a professional rapper, Like, at

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<v Speaker 1>least part time. Wow did not come up because, like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, unless you're super duper famous, people just presume

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<v Speaker 1>your craps. Oh Jack, Jack, you invited Callie to watch

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<v Speaker 1>you wrap somewhere, Yeah, to a show that I was doing,

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<v Speaker 1>and we hung out before we got to know each other,

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<v Speaker 1>and then it was time for me to go on

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<v Speaker 1>stage and I had a couple of songs that night,

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<v Speaker 1>so I did those. The crowd was really into it,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I was a little nervous, you know, sometimes the

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<v Speaker 1>crowd might not be into it, but yeah, but when

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<v Speaker 1>I got off States, she said it was awesome, Like

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<v Speaker 1>people were coming up to me, just like taking photos

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<v Speaker 1>and things that that start, which is always fun. But

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of worried, like maybe my lyrics were a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit too vulgar. But that's kind of also like

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<v Speaker 1>the nature of the beast of being an artist too. Boy,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you're a rap artist, like, unless you're Will Smith,

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<v Speaker 1>are you. Yeah, she did say it was awesome, but

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<v Speaker 1>I remember, like there's a point where I made eye

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<v Speaker 1>contact with her while I was wrapping, and I noticed

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<v Speaker 1>her eyes were kind of big, where she like I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know if she thought this, but my read was

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<v Speaker 1>like she's like, what the hell did he just say? Boy?

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<v Speaker 1>Can you give a subject material like you to know anything?

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<v Speaker 1>Some of it gets political, some of it is just,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like democrats up in the building and alight, Well, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>your openers for you. The next year, I wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>stay a little longer and hang out more, but like

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<v Speaker 1>while the people were taking photos, she was just like,

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<v Speaker 1>I gotta go. It was so great being you. And

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<v Speaker 1>then yeah, I had a tough time getting another date,

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<v Speaker 1>and I really really did like her, you know, way

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<v Speaker 1>more than the girl who made me wait an hour. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>by this time, you kind of made her way. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>same thing. Well, we'll see what Callie has to say,

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<v Speaker 1>because we're gonna drop some beats right here just for you,

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<v Speaker 1>and then we're gonna come back and get your second

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<v Speaker 1>date update right after this. All right, sounds great, All right,

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<v Speaker 1>hold on the second. He's smart, he's sexy, and he's

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<v Speaker 1>totally secure. I'm talking about our listener, Justin, who's back

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<v Speaker 1>doing a second date update for the second time on

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<v Speaker 1>our show because we failed him the first goal. Right, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but this time Justin went out with a woman named Callie,

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<v Speaker 1>who he described as also secure and a right or

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<v Speaker 1>whatever it is. It's a good thing. Yeah, okay, and

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<v Speaker 1>she got to see him in his elements, spitting mad

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<v Speaker 1>bars at a rap show. Weird part was while he

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<v Speaker 1>was taking photos with fans after his performance, Callie suddenly

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<v Speaker 1>ducked out said she had to go. Yeah, and we

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<v Speaker 1>don't know why. I'm sure Brooke has some theories for why.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Maybe she just was sick of Bean.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's a long time to go to a

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<v Speaker 1>rap show and then to sit and fans coming up. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>your date like being on stage and not with you.

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<v Speaker 1>You said you're by yourself, and then you're by yourself

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<v Speaker 1>more compared, you're like literally like as a comedy shot

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<v Speaker 1>and greed and your date is just watching. Yeah, it's

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<v Speaker 1>just boring. Like, yeah, I didn't get that at all.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I didn't want to be route to the

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<v Speaker 1>people who come up. You know, I'm not like a

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<v Speaker 1>Kanye West or anything. They came to the show, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to take a second to say hello back. No,

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<v Speaker 1>we're not saying that that's bad. It's just that, like

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<v Speaker 1>on a first date, that may be. You know, it

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<v Speaker 1>kind of just sucks from her perspectively, you know, but

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<v Speaker 1>everyone else gets time with you, but her real stars

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<v Speaker 1>don't take photos with their fans because they past that. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's true. And maybe it came across as kind of

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<v Speaker 1>needy that he said he was secure, But maybe this

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<v Speaker 1>whole time reading her, maybe yeah, what's the other one's anxious?

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<v Speaker 1>I have tra anciousness. I said that. Maybe the anxiousness

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<v Speaker 1>turned her off. But we're going to call her and

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<v Speaker 1>find out. Let's dial Cally's number and see what she

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<v Speaker 1>has to say, Right, all right, here we go. Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>Hey is this CALLI? This is her secure account? No,

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<v Speaker 1>excuse me. My name is Jeff. I heard that you

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<v Speaker 1>were secure. Sorry, my name is Jeff from the radio

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<v Speaker 1>show Broken Jeffrey in the Morning. Which radio show. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't we a podcast too? Maybe you listen to that.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think i've heard of you, guys. OK, right,

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<v Speaker 1>so what's this about. Well, we do a segment on

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<v Speaker 1>this show called Second Date Update, and we're trying to

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<v Speaker 1>help one of our listeners get a hold of you

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<v Speaker 1>because you went out with him the other night and

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<v Speaker 1>now you're avoiding him. His name's Justin. Oh, well, you

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<v Speaker 1>guys went to a rap show? Yeah, I remember him?

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<v Speaker 1>How much do you guys know? Well, we know that

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<v Speaker 1>he is an up and coming rap star and he

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<v Speaker 1>took you to his show. But he said you left

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<v Speaker 1>while they were doing a meet and greed. Yeah I

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<v Speaker 1>did so. I didn't really enjoy him very much. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>oh like the show? You didn't enjoy her? No, the

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<v Speaker 1>show is fine. He's actually a really talented rapper. Like,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't mind the show at all. I thought it

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<v Speaker 1>was pretty good. You liked him on stage, but you

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<v Speaker 1>didn't like him on star his on stage persona. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>he lost me. I mean before the rap, like you

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<v Speaker 1>were talking about before the show. Oh, he just kept

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<v Speaker 1>going on about the book, the attachment theory book yet

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<v Speaker 1>was it too much for you? He just wouldn't let

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<v Speaker 1>it go, Like and on a first date, the first

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<v Speaker 1>time I'm ever talking to him, he's like psychoanalyzing me,

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<v Speaker 1>and like we're trying to figure about personalities match and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I could find out if I click with

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<v Speaker 1>you through just having a conversation about what we like

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<v Speaker 1>to do. Like, I mean, it's cool to click with

0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:14.680
<v Speaker 1>someone in their values, but you don't normally figure that

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<v Speaker 1>out on date one, and like just based on this

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<v Speaker 1>one theory, Like it was boring to just talk about

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<v Speaker 1>that and only that. It's like people who won't date

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<v Speaker 1>like other horoscope signs. Yeah, yeah, and you didn't feel like,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you weren't interested. You knew from the beginning

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<v Speaker 1>that you weren't going to give him another shot. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I knew after about thirty minutes of him talking about

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<v Speaker 1>this over and over that I was bored. He went

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<v Speaker 1>on for thirty minutes of that attachment theory. We talked

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<v Speaker 1>to him for like five minutes about it, and it

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<v Speaker 1>felt like a lot thirty minutes. I mean, at least

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<v Speaker 1>he's passionate about it. Passion is a good quality to

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<v Speaker 1>have about things. But he wouldn't let it go. And

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<v Speaker 1>it was like a tedious breakdown of the book, like

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<v Speaker 1>all the categories who they match with, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>deciding that Okay, I'm secure and he's secure. I was like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>but only one of us is boring. Yeah, that really hurts.

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<v Speaker 1>Got a hurt to hear. Or I don't know, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>Justin's secure enough to take it in stride, because cal

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<v Speaker 1>I need to tell you he's on the other line

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<v Speaker 1>listening right now and wants to talk to you. You

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<v Speaker 1>had him on the whole time, Yeah, he did. Justin there. Hey, Kelly,

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<v Speaker 1>you're how secure he sounds. You could be secure and

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't. I didn't want to be mean to you.

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<v Speaker 1>I just you need to know that this strategy doesn't work,

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<v Speaker 1>Like women aren't into that. It's not a strategy. I

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<v Speaker 1>just really liked the book I read, and I thought

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<v Speaker 1>you were enjoying the conversation, like the vibe that I

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<v Speaker 1>was getting. You know, I'm sorry I misread the situation.

0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:04.000
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know. Maybe it was because I was pre

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<v Speaker 1>show jitters or something and I missed the signs. But

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think you were reading that situation right at all.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's just not a good tragedy, Like it's date one.

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<v Speaker 1>We're supposed to just talk about, you know, the trivial

0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:20.560
<v Speaker 1>things likes and dislikes with pizza toppings you eat when

0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:23.679
<v Speaker 1>Netflix shows you're currently binge watching, Like, yeah, well he's

0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:27.040
<v Speaker 1>talking about his favorite book. You know, it's not fifty

0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:30.600
<v Speaker 1>Shades of Gray, but at least it's like adjacent. I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not basic. I don't want to go and talk

0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:35.960
<v Speaker 1>about like pizza toppings, Like do you know how many

0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:38.360
<v Speaker 1>girls I go out with, Like I'm trying to find

0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:42.600
<v Speaker 1>somebody who's special. Hey, some people can talk about pizza

0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:45.480
<v Speaker 1>toppings for three minutes very much. Just that just came

0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:50.200
<v Speaker 1>off a little hot, Yeah, came off confidence. The first

0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:53.280
<v Speaker 1>nats get so repetitive. I thought we connected on something deefair,

0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:55.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, but it sounds like you weren't listening to her.

0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:58.760
<v Speaker 1>It sounds like you were just like monologuing about a

0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:01.680
<v Speaker 1>book that you read. I thought she was into it,

0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:04.199
<v Speaker 1>and I apologize. I didn't mean to be boring. Okay,

0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.560
<v Speaker 1>I gotta be work for you, and it's not boring. Oh,

0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:12.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm a dope rapper. I'm one of the best to

0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.680
<v Speaker 1>ever do its. Okay, Okay, I remember you're taking pictures

0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:19.920
<v Speaker 1>of fans, and as Jeffrey proved, yeah, you don't see

0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:22.880
<v Speaker 1>Kanye taking picture of anybody. Kellie. Let's just pretend that

0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:26.280
<v Speaker 1>you didn't hear him call you the other B word. Wow.

0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.679
<v Speaker 1>Can you see how it was maybe a little bit

0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:32.240
<v Speaker 1>your fault because you were encouraging him. He said that

0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:37.840
<v Speaker 1>she seemed interested. Yeah, that can definitely not be blamed

0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:39.720
<v Speaker 1>on me, just because I didn't step in and say, hey,

0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.400
<v Speaker 1>stop talking about this now, you're boring me, like that

0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:46.080
<v Speaker 1>would have been helpful clue to him that he needs

0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:48.319
<v Speaker 1>to change the subject. And he was really secure, you

0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 1>would have been fine with it. I just think he's

0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:53.800
<v Speaker 1>not the best at reading people, because it was very

0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:55.319
<v Speaker 1>clear that I was bored. And you know when you

0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:58.880
<v Speaker 1>say to somebody like, oh cool, like four times in

0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:03.400
<v Speaker 1>a row, yeah, you're not really there. Luckily, I'm very

0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:06.600
<v Speaker 1>good at reading people and reading situations, and I'm sensing

0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:10.760
<v Speaker 1>a vibe right here. I am I'm feeling the love

0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.319
<v Speaker 1>connection happening. And that's why I'd like to offer to

0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.560
<v Speaker 1>send Callie out on another date with Justin. We'll pay

0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:18.559
<v Speaker 1>for it. I'm going to stop you right there. I

0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:21.320
<v Speaker 1>thought this girl was secure. I'm getting so much avoidant

0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:23.480
<v Speaker 1>and anxious vibes from her. I don't think I'm ready

0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:28.880
<v Speaker 1>for a second day. You know, I'm still sensing some

0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:34.560
<v Speaker 1>vibes going on. I don't want not only there's something

0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:38.200
<v Speaker 1>we agree on. Okay, yeah, I not only misread that conversation,

0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.880
<v Speaker 1>I misread her entire profile and who she was as

0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:45.200
<v Speaker 1>a human being. So yeah, hard pass. So I'm getting

0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:46.720
<v Speaker 1>a sense this is more of just a hook up

0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:51.400
<v Speaker 1>one night thing. Oh okay, she's not going to stay

0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:53.080
<v Speaker 1>the night. She's just going to be in and out

0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:57.640
<v Speaker 1>before the sun even comes up. Path wasn't the name

0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:04.560
<v Speaker 1>of his album. That's a good album single, Hardback. I'm

0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:06.080
<v Speaker 1>just trying really hard because I don't want to go

0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:08.520
<v Speaker 1>oh for two with Justin here. Listen, listen, you guys.

0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:10.960
<v Speaker 1>This is not your fault. I mean, I love you, guys,

0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:13.080
<v Speaker 1>I love the show. I love that you like are

0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.080
<v Speaker 1>taking the time to help me. You're oh for one

0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:22.080
<v Speaker 1>betting five hundred. It's pretty good. Hey, I'm calling it

0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:25.720
<v Speaker 1>fifty fifty. Okay, we are definitely never gotten on basic.

0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:29.880
<v Speaker 1>It's in victory in my book. Congratulations Justin just got

0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:33.000
<v Speaker 1>hit by a pitch. Jeffrey in the morning.