Speaker 1: Second date update. This happens every so often, but sometimes
Speaker 1: a listener will do a second date update with us
Speaker 1: that doesn't end with a yes. But the thing is,
Speaker 1: they're so impressed by us, specifically me and my efforts
Speaker 1: to jump start their love lives, that they're willing to
Speaker 1: call back and give it another go. You know, you
Speaker 1: don't have to do mouth to mouth anymore with CPR,
Speaker 1: but I like, yeah, that's why Justin has reached out
Speaker 1: to us once again. He was on a few months back,
Speaker 1: and last time the lady he went out with was
Speaker 1: not impressed because she showed up an hour late to dinner,
Speaker 1: but said Justin wasn't mad enough to be mad about
Speaker 1: it and cancel what I think. I remember that it
Speaker 1: was really weird and that call definitely crashed and burned,
Speaker 1: but we promised to try and do better for Justin
Speaker 1: this time. So Justin, welcome back. Hey, thank you guys
Speaker 1: for having me. Oh man, how long did you wait
Speaker 1: for your date to show up this time? Justin? No,
Speaker 1: she actually came right on time this time. Test and
Speaker 1: you failed it supposed to get up and leave and
Speaker 1: make her way. Yeah. I think that show's improvement. And
Speaker 1: I heard that you've been actually doing a little bit
Speaker 1: of research since the last time you were on with us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like the learning process never really ends. I'm
Speaker 1: always trying to better myself. You know, I heard about
Speaker 1: this book called Attached. Have you guys? Are you familiar
Speaker 1: with it? Attached? I don't. Yeah, reading is not on
Speaker 1: the top of the list of hobbies for this group,
Speaker 1: so but tell us about it. What is attached about? So,
Speaker 1: this book basically talked about how most people come into
Speaker 1: three different psychological categories while dating. Okay, secure, where you
Speaker 1: can communicate openly and like I could be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I know you're busy, but I just kind of get
Speaker 1: nervous when you don't text back. Could you text me?
Speaker 1: Just let me know, even if it's just like a
Speaker 1: little thumbs up or something. Oh, it's like the type
Speaker 1: of communicator you are. Exactly three groups. They're secure, Yeah.
Speaker 1: The other two categories are anxious and avoidant. Anxious people
Speaker 1: are like the super needy ones where it's just like, no,
Speaker 1: you gotta text me, and if you don't hear a
Speaker 1: text back, you're texting them like twenty times, like where
Speaker 1: are you? Where are you registered? For you? I don't
Speaker 1: know if I'm necessarily anxious in that sense, but in
Speaker 1: real life I'm anxious a lot. Yeah, and then what's
Speaker 1: the other one? Again? The last one is avoidant, where
Speaker 1: like if things start getting real, they'll push apart a
Speaker 1: little bit, like they want distance. They don't want to
Speaker 1: be smothered or anything. Okay, can you be more than one?
Speaker 1: Like I feel like I'm the first two combined. You
Speaker 1: have to read the book and find out. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna wait for the movie to come out. Sounds really
Speaker 1: like a fun movie, Jeff. Yeah, if they can to
Speaker 1: make it really short because my attentions fan isn't great. Okay,
Speaker 1: So which which one are you justin? So I'm secure
Speaker 1: with traits of anxious and so you can be more
Speaker 1: than one? Okay? Okay, So how did that change dating?
Speaker 1: I'm just really open and communicative about what I'm expecting
Speaker 1: how I feel. No more games of like like you know,
Speaker 1: with the girl who was late, I could just be like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're late, that made me feel this way? What's going on?
Speaker 1: You know? Just talk about it? So we did we
Speaker 1: go on a date or are we just hearing about
Speaker 1: how your love life has improved? For everybody in the
Speaker 1: or Justin wrote this book and he's trying to sell exactly. Yea,
Speaker 1: So how does all this relate to your new and
Speaker 1: improved dating life? So I put this on my dating
Speaker 1: profile where I said secure attachment styles only, and it
Speaker 1: didn't really get me any clicks. Yeah, but then I
Speaker 1: put that smiley emoji with like the sweat drop coming
Speaker 1: on the forehead, you know, and that got so who
Speaker 1: matched with your secure people only demand? With this wonderful
Speaker 1: woman named Kelly. She's an interior designer, absolutely very very secure,
Speaker 1: and I kind of wanted to have her see what
Speaker 1: I did. Um. I don't even know if we spoke
Speaker 1: about this last time. I'm a professional rapper, Like, at
Speaker 1: least part time. Wow did not come up because, like,
Speaker 1: you know, unless you're super duper famous, people just presume
Speaker 1: your craps. Oh Jack, Jack, you invited Callie to watch
Speaker 1: you wrap somewhere, Yeah, to a show that I was doing,
Speaker 1: and we hung out before we got to know each other,
Speaker 1: and then it was time for me to go on
Speaker 1: stage and I had a couple of songs that night,
Speaker 1: so I did those. The crowd was really into it,
Speaker 1: Like I was a little nervous, you know, sometimes the
Speaker 1: crowd might not be into it, but yeah, but when
Speaker 1: I got off States, she said it was awesome, Like
Speaker 1: people were coming up to me, just like taking photos
Speaker 1: and things that that start, which is always fun. But
Speaker 1: I kind of worried, like maybe my lyrics were a
Speaker 1: little bit too vulgar. But that's kind of also like
Speaker 1: the nature of the beast of being an artist too. Boy,
Speaker 1: I mean, you're a rap artist, like, unless you're Will Smith,
Speaker 1: are you. Yeah, she did say it was awesome, but
Speaker 1: I remember, like there's a point where I made eye
Speaker 1: contact with her while I was wrapping, and I noticed
Speaker 1: her eyes were kind of big, where she like I
Speaker 1: don't know if she thought this, but my read was
Speaker 1: like she's like, what the hell did he just say? Boy?
Speaker 1: Can you give a subject material like you to know anything?
Speaker 1: Some of it gets political, some of it is just,
Speaker 1: you know, like democrats up in the building and alight, Well, okay,
Speaker 1: your openers for you. The next year, I wanted to
Speaker 1: stay a little longer and hang out more, but like
Speaker 1: while the people were taking photos, she was just like,
Speaker 1: I gotta go. It was so great being you. And
Speaker 1: then yeah, I had a tough time getting another date,
Speaker 1: and I really really did like her, you know, way
Speaker 1: more than the girl who made me wait an hour. Yeah,
Speaker 1: by this time, you kind of made her way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: same thing. Well, we'll see what Callie has to say,
Speaker 1: because we're gonna drop some beats right here just for you,
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna come back and get your second
Speaker 1: date update right after this. All right, sounds great, All right,
Speaker 1: hold on the second. He's smart, he's sexy, and he's
Speaker 1: totally secure. I'm talking about our listener, Justin, who's back
Speaker 1: doing a second date update for the second time on
Speaker 1: our show because we failed him the first goal. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but this time Justin went out with a woman named Callie,
Speaker 1: who he described as also secure and a right or
Speaker 1: whatever it is. It's a good thing. Yeah, okay, and
Speaker 1: she got to see him in his elements, spitting mad
Speaker 1: bars at a rap show. Weird part was while he
Speaker 1: was taking photos with fans after his performance, Callie suddenly
Speaker 1: ducked out said she had to go. Yeah, and we
Speaker 1: don't know why. I'm sure Brooke has some theories for why.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe she just was sick of Bean.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a long time to go to a
Speaker 1: rap show and then to sit and fans coming up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your date like being on stage and not with you.
Speaker 1: You said you're by yourself, and then you're by yourself
Speaker 1: more compared, you're like literally like as a comedy shot
Speaker 1: and greed and your date is just watching. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just boring. Like, yeah, I didn't get that at all.
Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't want to be route to the
Speaker 1: people who come up. You know, I'm not like a
Speaker 1: Kanye West or anything. They came to the show, I'm
Speaker 1: going to take a second to say hello back. No,
Speaker 1: we're not saying that that's bad. It's just that, like
Speaker 1: on a first date, that may be. You know, it
Speaker 1: kind of just sucks from her perspectively, you know, but
Speaker 1: everyone else gets time with you, but her real stars
Speaker 1: don't take photos with their fans because they past that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. And maybe it came across as kind of
Speaker 1: needy that he said he was secure, But maybe this
Speaker 1: whole time reading her, maybe yeah, what's the other one's anxious?
Speaker 1: I have tra anciousness. I said that. Maybe the anxiousness
Speaker 1: turned her off. But we're going to call her and
Speaker 1: find out. Let's dial Cally's number and see what she
Speaker 1: has to say, Right, all right, here we go. Hello,
Speaker 1: Hey is this CALLI? This is her secure account? No,
Speaker 1: excuse me. My name is Jeff. I heard that you
Speaker 1: were secure. Sorry, my name is Jeff from the radio
Speaker 1: show Broken Jeffrey in the Morning. Which radio show. I
Speaker 1: don't we a podcast too? Maybe you listen to that.
Speaker 1: I don't think i've heard of you, guys. OK, right,
Speaker 1: so what's this about. Well, we do a segment on
Speaker 1: this show called Second Date Update, and we're trying to
Speaker 1: help one of our listeners get a hold of you
Speaker 1: because you went out with him the other night and
Speaker 1: now you're avoiding him. His name's Justin. Oh, well, you
Speaker 1: guys went to a rap show? Yeah, I remember him?
Speaker 1: How much do you guys know? Well, we know that
Speaker 1: he is an up and coming rap star and he
Speaker 1: took you to his show. But he said you left
Speaker 1: while they were doing a meet and greed. Yeah I
Speaker 1: did so. I didn't really enjoy him very much. Oh,
Speaker 1: oh like the show? You didn't enjoy her? No, the
Speaker 1: show is fine. He's actually a really talented rapper. Like,
Speaker 1: I didn't mind the show at all. I thought it
Speaker 1: was pretty good. You liked him on stage, but you
Speaker 1: didn't like him on star his on stage persona. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he lost me. I mean before the rap, like you
Speaker 1: were talking about before the show. Oh, he just kept
Speaker 1: going on about the book, the attachment theory book yet
Speaker 1: was it too much for you? He just wouldn't let
Speaker 1: it go, Like and on a first date, the first
Speaker 1: time I'm ever talking to him, he's like psychoanalyzing me,
Speaker 1: and like we're trying to figure about personalities match and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I could find out if I click with
Speaker 1: you through just having a conversation about what we like
Speaker 1: to do. Like, I mean, it's cool to click with
Speaker 1: someone in their values, but you don't normally figure that
Speaker 1: out on date one, and like just based on this
Speaker 1: one theory, Like it was boring to just talk about
Speaker 1: that and only that. It's like people who won't date
Speaker 1: like other horoscope signs. Yeah, yeah, and you didn't feel like,
Speaker 1: I mean, you weren't interested. You knew from the beginning
Speaker 1: that you weren't going to give him another shot. Well,
Speaker 1: I knew after about thirty minutes of him talking about
Speaker 1: this over and over that I was bored. He went
Speaker 1: on for thirty minutes of that attachment theory. We talked
Speaker 1: to him for like five minutes about it, and it
Speaker 1: felt like a lot thirty minutes. I mean, at least
Speaker 1: he's passionate about it. Passion is a good quality to
Speaker 1: have about things. But he wouldn't let it go. And
Speaker 1: it was like a tedious breakdown of the book, like
Speaker 1: all the categories who they match with, and you know,
Speaker 1: deciding that Okay, I'm secure and he's secure. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: but only one of us is boring. Yeah, that really hurts.
Speaker 1: Got a hurt to hear. Or I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: Justin's secure enough to take it in stride, because cal
Speaker 1: I need to tell you he's on the other line
Speaker 1: listening right now and wants to talk to you. You
Speaker 1: had him on the whole time, Yeah, he did. Justin there. Hey, Kelly,
Speaker 1: you're how secure he sounds. You could be secure and
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't want to be mean to you.
Speaker 1: I just you need to know that this strategy doesn't work,
Speaker 1: Like women aren't into that. It's not a strategy. I
Speaker 1: just really liked the book I read, and I thought
Speaker 1: you were enjoying the conversation, like the vibe that I
Speaker 1: was getting. You know, I'm sorry I misread the situation.
Speaker 1: I didn't know. Maybe it was because I was pre
Speaker 1: show jitters or something and I missed the signs. But
Speaker 1: I don't think you were reading that situation right at all.
Speaker 1: And it's just not a good tragedy, Like it's date one.
Speaker 1: We're supposed to just talk about, you know, the trivial
Speaker 1: things likes and dislikes with pizza toppings you eat when
Speaker 1: Netflix shows you're currently binge watching, Like, yeah, well he's
Speaker 1: talking about his favorite book. You know, it's not fifty
Speaker 1: Shades of Gray, but at least it's like adjacent. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm not basic. I don't want to go and talk
Speaker 1: about like pizza toppings, Like do you know how many
Speaker 1: girls I go out with, Like I'm trying to find
Speaker 1: somebody who's special. Hey, some people can talk about pizza
Speaker 1: toppings for three minutes very much. Just that just came
Speaker 1: off a little hot, Yeah, came off confidence. The first
Speaker 1: nats get so repetitive. I thought we connected on something deefair,
Speaker 1: you know, but it sounds like you weren't listening to her.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you were just like monologuing about a
Speaker 1: book that you read. I thought she was into it,
Speaker 1: and I apologize. I didn't mean to be boring. Okay,
Speaker 1: I gotta be work for you, and it's not boring. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm a dope rapper. I'm one of the best to
Speaker 1: ever do its. Okay, Okay, I remember you're taking pictures
Speaker 1: of fans, and as Jeffrey proved, yeah, you don't see
Speaker 1: Kanye taking picture of anybody. Kellie. Let's just pretend that
Speaker 1: you didn't hear him call you the other B word. Wow.
Speaker 1: Can you see how it was maybe a little bit
Speaker 1: your fault because you were encouraging him. He said that
Speaker 1: she seemed interested. Yeah, that can definitely not be blamed
Speaker 1: on me, just because I didn't step in and say, hey,
Speaker 1: stop talking about this now, you're boring me, like that
Speaker 1: would have been helpful clue to him that he needs
Speaker 1: to change the subject. And he was really secure, you
Speaker 1: would have been fine with it. I just think he's
Speaker 1: not the best at reading people, because it was very
Speaker 1: clear that I was bored. And you know when you
Speaker 1: say to somebody like, oh cool, like four times in
Speaker 1: a row, yeah, you're not really there. Luckily, I'm very
Speaker 1: good at reading people and reading situations, and I'm sensing
Speaker 1: a vibe right here. I am I'm feeling the love
Speaker 1: connection happening. And that's why I'd like to offer to
Speaker 1: send Callie out on another date with Justin. We'll pay
Speaker 1: for it. I'm going to stop you right there. I
Speaker 1: thought this girl was secure. I'm getting so much avoidant
Speaker 1: and anxious vibes from her. I don't think I'm ready
Speaker 1: for a second day. You know, I'm still sensing some
Speaker 1: vibes going on. I don't want not only there's something
Speaker 1: we agree on. Okay, yeah, I not only misread that conversation,
Speaker 1: I misread her entire profile and who she was as
Speaker 1: a human being. So yeah, hard pass. So I'm getting
Speaker 1: a sense this is more of just a hook up
Speaker 1: one night thing. Oh okay, she's not going to stay
Speaker 1: the night. She's just going to be in and out
Speaker 1: before the sun even comes up. Path wasn't the name
Speaker 1: of his album. That's a good album single, Hardback. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying really hard because I don't want to go
Speaker 1: oh for two with Justin here. Listen, listen, you guys.
Speaker 1: This is not your fault. I mean, I love you, guys,
Speaker 1: I love the show. I love that you like are
Speaker 1: taking the time to help me. You're oh for one
Speaker 1: betting five hundred. It's pretty good. Hey, I'm calling it
Speaker 1: fifty fifty. Okay, we are definitely never gotten on basic.
Speaker 1: It's in victory in my book. Congratulations Justin just got
Speaker 1: hit by a pitch. Jeffrey in the morning.