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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: All right, So while I'm off on a movie set,

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Speaker 2: we thought it would be fun to do a little

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Speaker 2: Q and A session because they're just Alan's favorite. So

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Speaker 2: here we go from Jen, what aspects of yourself do

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Speaker 2: you think have changed for better or worse being together? Alan?

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Speaker 2: Do you want to go first? Yeah, this is the

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Speaker 2: first time seeing these two, so I'm like, I need

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Speaker 2: a yeah. Oh, you've already looked at them.

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Speaker 1: You pre lize I skimmed they see.

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Speaker 2: Fun fact, whenever I'm doing an interview, they'll say like,

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Speaker 2: do you want to know the questions ahead of time?

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Speaker 2: And I always say no because then I feel like

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Speaker 2: my answer then would be planned and staged in a

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Speaker 2: way where it's not authentic.

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Speaker 1: I don't look long enough to not saying what you're

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Speaker 1: okay things.

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Speaker 2: What aspects of yourself do you think have changed for

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Speaker 2: better or worse being together? So let's start with the pit.

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Speaker 2: What's the worst with the aspects of yourself that has

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Speaker 2: been changed for the worst being together? Oh no, that's

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Speaker 2: not good.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's anything has changed for the worst

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Speaker 1: of us being together?

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Speaker 2: You're thinking, So there's something.

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Speaker 1: The fact that I'm not just rhyming off four or

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Speaker 1: five different things is a good thing.

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Speaker 2: It's okay, like you can because zero.

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Speaker 1: Think you let me do the better one.

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Speaker 2: First I would like to end on a high note.

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Speaker 1: But it's fine, but it's mean, it sounds on it,

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Speaker 1: so okay, I would probably go for better. Would be

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Speaker 1: from a non emotional relationship side of things, I would

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Speaker 1: probably say my organization, it's got better as we spin

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Speaker 1: a lot of plates, so I've had to which I'm

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Speaker 1: not used to doing and normally going to a club

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Speaker 1: and doing my job and spin the plates within the club,

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Speaker 1: but now it's like spinning plates in different areas of

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Speaker 1: business and life. So you've you're The way that you're

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Speaker 1: super organized has allowed me to take a leaf from

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Speaker 1: your book and become or do you know before I

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Speaker 1: never met Before I met you, I never used the

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Speaker 1: calendar on the phone? What never?

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Speaker 2: How did you live your life?

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Speaker 1: I'd reported to a football club every day.

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Speaker 2: That's all you had to do.

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Speaker 1: It's just shows it's not that easy to win and

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Speaker 1: get results.

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Speaker 2: And but you had like no other plate, like no

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Speaker 2: other things you had.

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Speaker 1: To in the calendar. When Troy was on school, holidays,

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Speaker 1: and I never used a calendar until I met you.

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Speaker 2: It's actually all making so much sense now. But okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was the girl up until about a few years ago.

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Speaker 2: I had the printed out like I had the thick

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Speaker 2: what I like, I used to like to and me

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Speaker 2: and Catherine still because she's on my calendar too. I

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Speaker 2: still check things off because that was my old school

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Speaker 2: having having my my little diary and writing. I would

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Speaker 2: write things out and then cross them off. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it was the most satisfying thing ever. So now with

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Speaker 2: the calendars is now, I'd put a little check mark

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Speaker 2: next to it when I'm done.

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Speaker 1: But I had my notes and I had to do

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Speaker 1: list and my Mac because that's why I would use

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Speaker 1: it at a club, huh. But I had never My

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Speaker 1: focus was getting results every week.

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Speaker 2: And you feel like that aspect has changed you for

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Speaker 2: the better because you're what now more organized.

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Speaker 1: Or yeah, absolutely, I'm not to go level of organization,

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Speaker 1: not close, but I'm getting better, I.

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Speaker 2: Would say that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm still not good at prioritized, like the

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Speaker 1: multiple things getting done out pro or the prioritize be

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Speaker 1: a four and the less the rest will be left hanging.

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Speaker 1: The low lying fruit as if he I will get

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Speaker 1: the other stuff.

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Speaker 2: I think it goes back to again what we talked

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Speaker 2: about in therapy, where there's things that are important to you,

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Speaker 2: like you don't care right now that there are dead

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Speaker 2: bushes in our yard and I have stared at them

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Speaker 2: for a year and they drive me just they drive

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Speaker 2: me nuts because it's like I want I want a

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Speaker 2: nice landscaped driveway and they're dead and they're not growing back,

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Speaker 2: and I keep getting gas lit by these the person

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Speaker 2: that planted them saying they're going to come back, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, they're not coming back and they're not. They're dead.

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Speaker 2: They're a stick. And finally the sweet man that's helping

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Speaker 2: us now it's like those are those are gone and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I thank you. I want to hug the

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Speaker 2: man I felt.

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Speaker 1: The sweet is I'm going to get a message in

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Speaker 1: a week's time. Can you pay me two thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: on venmore that sweet little man?

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Speaker 2: Yes, this is going to replace the twigs.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: I do think it goes back to though again, my

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Speaker 2: whole point of that is is you see things differently,

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Speaker 2: and I look at things different, so I don't care

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Speaker 2: about some of the things that you do. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I can't really think of an example, but the garage,

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Speaker 2: I could care less. If the garage is organized, I

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Speaker 2: really could could care less. I think it's nice when

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Speaker 2: the garage is organized, but it's not something that I

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Speaker 2: would spend my sunday doing.

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Speaker 1: I love the plants and all that, but it comes

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Speaker 1: a point my life with it. If I've not got

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Speaker 1: a lot to do, the plants will be a priority

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Speaker 1: at the moment. Both of you get far too much

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Speaker 1: to do, right.

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Speaker 2: But it took me two seconds to call that man

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Speaker 2: and say can you please come over? And then it

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Speaker 2: was like he was here, and it was and then

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Speaker 2: we you know, we shook on it and he left,

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Speaker 2: and now come back from the movie. It's going to

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Speaker 2: be a nice, little, beautiful little driveway. But again, we

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Speaker 2: look at things differently, So you don't, I don't.

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Speaker 1: It's not a priority for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's not a priority, then it doesn't get prioritized,

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Speaker 2: and then it gets left. And so I think we

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Speaker 2: prioritize what we want to prioritize.

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Speaker 1: That's true.

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Speaker 2: And if we ask nicely to our partner, like hey,

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Speaker 2: I would really appreciate it if you took the rag

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Speaker 2: rug that needs to be moved still because I can't

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Speaker 2: lift it, or I would that's still there.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, what's changed for the better or.

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Speaker 2: Wolves worse I have? I mean, I'm having a hard

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Speaker 2: time with that one too, because there's nothing. I feel

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Speaker 2: like You've only made me better in areas or I

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Speaker 2: would be like in the areas that I would be

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Speaker 2: worse in a relationship. You keep me, you keep me

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Speaker 2: in check. That makes sense, like you you know, there's

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Speaker 2: a high level of respect and love, and so I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to think there's nothing, nothing worse. I think. I

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Speaker 2: don't know. Do you have Do you have one for me?

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Speaker 2: Because you're smiling?

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Speaker 1: No, I don't. I actually don't.

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Speaker 2: I mean, on the flip side, I think our relationship

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Speaker 2: the maybe the worst piece. It's not aspect of myself,

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Speaker 2: but that my situation is harder for maybe your career stuff.

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Speaker 1: Your situation is harder for.

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Speaker 2: My when it comes to not being able to move. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and so that has then affected some of your career things.

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Speaker 1: That hasn't made me a worst person though.

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Speaker 2: No, I know that's what I'm saying, but I'm saying

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Speaker 2: that's the only thing that I can think that is

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Speaker 2: been challenging. But the best part aspects of myself that

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Speaker 2: have changed for the better has been you are just

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Speaker 2: like I. Then I go back to this. The respect,

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Speaker 2: the amount of respect that you have from me then

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Speaker 2: makes me want to respect you had and have that

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Speaker 2: equal respect and love. And you've just made me. You've

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Speaker 2: also calmed me down, even though I know I still

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Speaker 2: have my moments of when I get stressed out.

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Speaker 1: Like the small then on the smoothie thing, that thing is.

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Speaker 2: Driving me nuts. But you do you do help me.

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Speaker 2: You help regulate me more when it comes to things

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Speaker 2: that I and I think that's also my age too,

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Speaker 2: But I also I think you're just my best friend

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Speaker 2: and I love being around you.

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Speaker 1: And there's this.

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Speaker 2: But in a not a meanwhile you're not You're doing

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Speaker 2: it a nice way, and it's like, oh yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: so you've just helped me with that. Lisa, how would

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Speaker 2: you feel if Jana went on tour again? Would you

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Speaker 2: go on the road or stay at home?

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Speaker 1: I would partly go on the road if it's too

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Speaker 1: much going on right now to be on the road

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Speaker 1: with you, But if that's something that you wanted to do,

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Speaker 1: we would sit down and discuss it, and like we've

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Speaker 1: done with the movie, with the workout schedule where I

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Speaker 1: can be there and when I can. Yeah, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: go on tour with you.

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Speaker 2: No, hm. Yeah, honestly, I would never go on tour

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Speaker 2: again like I did in the past, because that's just

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Speaker 2: it's so hard with kids, and I wouldn't do it

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Speaker 2: like I did the last time. Like I wouldn't have

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Speaker 2: the kids on the tour bus until they're older. But

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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm so far out of that game. That

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Speaker 2: not game, but I'm so far out of that time.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know who would come to the show.

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Speaker 2: I definitely can sell the tickets that I used to sell.

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Speaker 2: I just haven't been in it, so it's what happens.

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Speaker 2: But also the tour life, I miss it so much,

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Speaker 2: Like when I go and play those shows andlington for

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Speaker 2: one Tree Hill conventions, I love it so much. It's

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Speaker 2: so much fun. And then Catherine are like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: why aren't we doing this?

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Speaker 1: Then you come back and hear roaming, No.

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Speaker 2: I love I kidding men, I love it. I love

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Speaker 2: being around the kids. This is the best. But I

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Speaker 2: definitely would want to. I would want to. I think

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Speaker 2: there's a piece of me that wants to go out

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Speaker 2: a little bit more so, okay, but it wouldn't be

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Speaker 2: how I used to do it.

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Speaker 1: First, squeeze that into the eighth day of the week.

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Speaker 2: Right, Steph, How do you guys fit in sects so often?

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Speaker 2: Is it a night, morning or when baby naps? Thing?

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Speaker 1: Definitely is that Steph as a guy or Steph as

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Speaker 1: a woman? Do you think Defhani needs a girl's Steph?

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Speaker 2: Though, Okay, that's besides the point.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's a thing that we planned to

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Speaker 1: fit in, is it. It's just when we feel like it.

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Speaker 2: We Yeah, I feel like we go, we're great, and

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Speaker 2: then we can go in spurts where it's a while

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Speaker 2: just because we're tired and overwhelmed. So I think it's

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Speaker 2: don't get down on yourself if there's times when you've

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Speaker 2: when it's been a week or two, because we've also gone,

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Speaker 2: we went, they were we went like a week or two.

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Speaker 2: One time, we were sick, we were tired, you know.

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Speaker 2: So it's like when you have those things. But I

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Speaker 2: think it's also important because we both were feeling that

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Speaker 2: lack of connection, not that sex is the only piece

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Speaker 2: because it's not, but it's an important piece. So I

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Speaker 2: think especially for women because we just have a lot

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Speaker 2: on our plate and we're doing a lot. It's I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: it's just the truth. Like we have we carry more

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Speaker 2: of the load of kids. And are you kidding me,

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Speaker 2: the one time you've folded the launder, you want to

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Speaker 2: pat in the back? Yeah, okay, like I said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: but I think if loaded so at the end of

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Speaker 2: the day we're more tired, but I think you can.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna have to, like pep talk yourself into because

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Speaker 2: there's times when I'm too tired and it wanted, but

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Speaker 2: I also know it's important for our relationship. And then

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Speaker 2: once you're in it, you're in it. It's don okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So Steph, we don't really have an answer to

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Speaker 1: your questions at night more than of when the baby maps.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of mostly night.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a morning, mostly night.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exam up earlier than johna.

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Speaker 2: So son Angel. What were three deal breakers you knew

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Speaker 2: you wouldn't want in a new relationship? Cheating, lying, disrespect

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Speaker 2: done next kem so side note we had when we

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Speaker 2: first met each other. It was probably like what two

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Speaker 2: months into dating We're like, let's write our deal breakers out,

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Speaker 2: non negotiable, non negotia. That was non negotiables, but it

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Speaker 2: lasted about five minutes because the first that we literally

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Speaker 2: put cheating, lying, disrespect, and I guess the respect is

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Speaker 2: there are times when there can be some disrespect with

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Speaker 2: words at times do you mean last, because we're like,

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Speaker 2: this is obvious stuff for us, like this was obvious,

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Speaker 2: it was.

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Speaker 1: Obvious before there was a cheat.

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Speaker 2: Respect, It's like, that's an obvious thing. You shouldn't cheat,

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Speaker 2: you shouldn't lie. And then the disrespect we obviously as

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Speaker 2: trist what that looks like, you know, physical touch, you know,

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Speaker 2: or like you know, abuse all obviously that's a that

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Speaker 2: is massive disrespect, but those are non negotiables, like don't

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Speaker 2: put your hands on me. But when we're writing these out,

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Speaker 2: we're like, this looks this is obvious stuff, and we

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Speaker 2: both for the first time, we both it was so

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Speaker 2: nice to have another person go, yeah, obviously, of course

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't put my hands on you. Of course I'm

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Speaker 2: not gonna cheat, I'm not gonna lie. And then you're

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Speaker 2: and to me it was so new because I'm like, wait, really,

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Speaker 2: you won't you won't do those things, and then that

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Speaker 2: was pretty much it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you want to know.

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Speaker 2: I was just going to say, when it comes to

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Speaker 2: like the disrespect piece, I think we've obviously had arguments

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Speaker 2: and we've said things.

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Speaker 1: Well, I've there's times we've both been disrespectful, but we've

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Speaker 1: recognized it and the girl from it and land for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And but I'm really big on words like what

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Speaker 2: you say is I've always said what you say hurts

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Speaker 2: worse than any man that's ever bruised my arm or

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Speaker 2: you know, did those things. I'm not saying to you,

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Speaker 2: but I'm saying in general, like when someone uses hateful words.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm very careful in this relationship, especially like

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Speaker 2: because I don't want you to feel what those words

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Speaker 2: feel like. And I feel like that's something that you're

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Speaker 2: you've gotten way better on because you realize the impact

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Speaker 2: of what words do to me because of my past.

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Speaker 2: I'm just saying, thank you, Kim favorite meal each other

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Speaker 2: their cooks. So Alan does the best lemon pasta salmon.

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Speaker 2: It's so good. And then he puts these truffle mushrooms

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Speaker 2: and some spinach. I mean, oh we have that tonight.

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Speaker 2: It just sounds so good and you can just pass

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Speaker 2: out of the question because you don't have to answer this.

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Speaker 1: No, I'll tell you what was one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: mules that you cook is the the roasted spaghetti squash

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Speaker 1: with the turkey, and ask the sauce and what else broccoli.

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Speaker 2: I put in? So it's spaghetti squash with turkey with

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Speaker 2: some spaghetti sauce, and then I put sweet potatoes in there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: roasted sweet potatoes, avocado, a little salt, little pepper, and

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Speaker 2: a bowl boom. You can even glaze if you want

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Speaker 2: it sweeter. You can put a little balsamic on it.

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Speaker 1: Really nice.

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Speaker 2: You can add some you can add a green you

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Speaker 2: can add a spinach or broccoli in there too.

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Speaker 1: But I like that it's really clean and nice.

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Speaker 2: Thanks man.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Jocelyn, do you want to answer this one.

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Speaker 2: It's up to you.

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Speaker 1: No. I don't see any reason why not. It's just

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Speaker 1: I feel not comfortable with it. No, it's fine, I

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Speaker 1: can answer it, Jocelyn. Joanna, you really talk about being

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Speaker 1: a step mom. How is your relationship with Troy?

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Speaker 2: So I want to respect boundaries on all on all

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Speaker 2: of this because it's not just yeah, just because the

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Speaker 2: situation and with his mom. I just always want to

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Speaker 2: respect boundaries, and so that's why I don't talk a

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Speaker 2: lot about Troy and being a stepmom. But I love him.

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Speaker 2: He's a wonderful kid, and I always enjoy spending time

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Speaker 2: with him, and I'm, yeah, I'm so lucky, Like he's

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Speaker 2: the best big brother Jolie and Jason Roman, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: he's just he's a joy. And I always love when

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Speaker 2: he's here and when he gets to spend time with us,

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Speaker 2: because he's awesome. He's seventeen and just he's so cool.

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Speaker 2: And I'm always like, you know, making jokes and but yeah,

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Speaker 2: I just, you know, obviously I keep them off socials,

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Speaker 2: just want to respect all boundaries and everything. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: he's great.

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Speaker 1: That sounds a good one too. How long earth that

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Speaker 1: you make the Joe of sex?

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Speaker 2: I feel like we knew each other on such a

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Speaker 2: deeper level.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't the first I don't think we should answer

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Speaker 1: this one.

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Speaker 2: No, it wasn't the first night. No, so but it

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Speaker 2: I mean, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, I don't think we should answer it.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's'll either.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: But it wasn't the first night, mom.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't the first night. Now, Dina, Sorry, I would

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Speaker 1: have liked it.

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Speaker 2: I really just wanted to do this one different because

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Speaker 2: I was a virgin anyways before.

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Speaker 1: So you will. That's just for the really first time,

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Speaker 1: Dina thoughts one sharing each other's locations. Yeah, we do that.

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Speaker 2: We did, so we we have uh, we have Life

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Speaker 2: three sixty. It's something that I used well before, but

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Speaker 2: this is just more. It's so much easier just be

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Speaker 2: like and I don't really look, but sometimes I'm like,

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Speaker 2: alwy is he still in Whole Foods? Or is he

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Speaker 2: on his way back? Instead of being like, hey, when

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Speaker 2: are you coming back? It's just easier to look on

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Speaker 2: Life through sixty and go, oh, he's he's there. I

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Speaker 2: think that's But I don't really, I mean, I don't

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Speaker 2: look at it unless I want to know when you're,

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Speaker 2: if you're if you're on your way home or not yet.

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Speaker 1: I just I look at it to know when you're

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Speaker 1: going to be back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Same, so I don't need to text you when you're

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Speaker 1: driving how long you're going to be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But it was strange for me because I've never done

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Speaker 1: ever before. Oh never, huh never.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't I don't look at it the

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Speaker 2: way that I used to look at it. I'll just

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Speaker 2: say that I will. When I had that before, I

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Speaker 2: would look at it to be like is he really

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Speaker 2: where he's at? But now I like, I immensely trust you,

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Speaker 2: like I don't have a shred of doubt.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, so yeah, you know that one's easy for us.

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Speaker 1: We've done that for a couple of years now only.

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Speaker 2: Yep, and you've given me your password or you've told

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Speaker 2: me your password on your phone. I still to this

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Speaker 2: day I'm like, what's your password again? I think it

364
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 2: actually kind of when Mike and I were having that

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Speaker 2: meeting in your office and I was like, oh crap,

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Speaker 2: because I put I used your iPad to use to

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Speaker 2: do the summer schedule, and so I was like, oh crap.

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Speaker 2: I was like I don't know his password. I was like,

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Speaker 2: alan was your password? Do your thing? And there was

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Speaker 2: kind of a beat where he was like almost gave

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Speaker 2: me a look like oh you don't. But I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I don't need to know his password. That's it was

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Speaker 2: like a very unsaid spoken like he's probably like quite

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Speaker 2: jealous in that moment. I had that locked down. I'm

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Speaker 2: like whatever, I forget them all the time because like

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Speaker 2: if you have this is my biggest, just biggest advice

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Speaker 2: to anyone listening. If you have to look through your husband, boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: partner's phone, you should not be in that relationship. If

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Speaker 2: you have a doubt to look in their phone, if

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00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 2: you have a gut pull a, you're always going to

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Speaker 2: find something. The only time you might not find something

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00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 2: is if you just come out of something and you

383
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:41,159
Speaker 2: still feel that trigger or that insecurity, because you might not.

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Speaker 2: But if you are with someone that you think they're

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00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,440
Speaker 2: most likely you will find something and you shouldn't be

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Speaker 2: in that relationship.

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Speaker 1: Agreed, Angela.

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Speaker 2: What is something you haven't told each other about yourself?

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Speaker 1: I'm sure those loads that were Anything that's of any

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00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 1: sort of significance of importance, then.

391
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, anything that's of significance. There's certain things that we

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Speaker 2: don't tell because it's we don't need to talk about

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Speaker 2: certain things.

394
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Speaker 1: I shut myself when I was ten years old.

395
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Speaker 2: Don't need or like, I don't want to know who you.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how many I don't want to know

397
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Speaker 2: how many poles up with that. I don't want to

398
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Speaker 2: know how I don't know what. I don't want to

399
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 2: know who. I don't want to know. I don't want

400
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 2: to know if we're around someone, I'd like to know absolutely,

401
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 2: but like beyond that, I don't want to know. I

402
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 2: don't care like all that stuff is, I don't see

403
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:41,400
Speaker 2: the point in knowing that. So but about yourself, I mean,

404
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 2: you pretty much know all my good, bad and ugly

405
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 2: and in between. Sunny. Was it love at first sight

406
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,360
Speaker 2: for both of you? I mean we could just say

407
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 2: this together, yeah it was, yeah, which I I'm not

408
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 2: so silly to even say, but it is true. Never

409
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 2: if that with anybody else. Logan, what is a lesson

410
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 2: you've learned in this marriage together so far? That you

411
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 2: can be respectful, that you can feel love, that you

412
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 2: can actually have everything that you deserve, want and desire,

413
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 2: and that you it is possible to have a supportive,

414
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 2: loving partner who will respect you and treat you with kindness,

415
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 2: and yeah, just respect the hell out of you instead

416
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Speaker 2: of the way around.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, I think there's also.

418
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 2: But a lesson. I'll go to my lesson, but well,

419
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:50,920
Speaker 2: but the lesson is that even when you have, even

420
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: when you don't have all that stuff, there's still things

421
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 2: to learn about each other and to keep into and

422
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 2: to keep not treating each other like the enemy in situations.

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Speaker 2: And so I think the lesson is that there's still

424
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,880
Speaker 2: things to know and to keep learning about each other

425
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:10,120
Speaker 2: because we've had situations where it's like this is why

426
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 2: I acted this. Oh, I didn't know that about you.

427
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 2: So I think you can continue to keep learning, so

428
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: to keep showing up, loving and not thinking the worst

429
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Speaker 2: of the person in a situation that might be stressful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good point. I think lesson South London

431
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: that's marriage is to prioritize, try and prioritize your feelings

432
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 1: more than my own with a healthy balance. Now, because

433
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: I think I think we're actually still both guilty of

434
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 1: trying to please each other, probably the detriment to us

435
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 1: to ourselves at times. Would you agree on that?

436
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I just want you to be happy, yeah, always,

437
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 2: And maybe that is the worst thing the moon to

438
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 2: go back to the first question.

439
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, you're probably.

440
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 2: Right, because we just want the other person to be

441
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 2: happy so bad that we'll be Oh, I don't need

442
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 2: to go do this, even though it's something that we

443
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 2: need to do for ourselves so that the other person

444
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 2: can feel love validated.

445
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, So no, I agree. I think that

446
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 1: So for me, the less than this is is prioritizing

447
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:28,679
Speaker 1: you without under prioritizing myself. I think we've got an

448
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 1: older kid than Troy. We've got six and nine and

449
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 1: a seventeen month old. It's funny. We'll just sit and watching.

450
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,120
Speaker 1: We've managed to split it into three episodes, but we've

451
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 1: been watching This is forty This Is forty the last

452
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: few nights. And it's funny because they go away to

453
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 1: the hotel. That hotel that we were at called.

454
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 2: It Tyrannia in Long Beach, California. Tyrannia Beautiful.

455
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 1: So they go to the hotel and they have an

456
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 1: amazing time and they're back in love. And since they

457
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 1: get back, one of the kids is sick. One of

458
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: the out of the kids is snitching, and within five

459
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: minutes that are arguing with each other, disagreeing about one

460
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 1: of them wants to take the kid to an Eastern

461
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 1: a Western medicine. One of them wants to take Eastern medicine.

462
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: So we argue with that. It's just recognizing that no

463
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 1: matter if you're in a relationship with someone who's a

464
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 1: cheat or someone who is violent, or you have a

465
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: relationship like I was, where none of that exists in

466
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 1: our marriage, but it's recognizing the look that there will

467
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: always be issues where you can have disagreements and stressful

468
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 1: moments with kids, and I think now I'm a little

469
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 1: bit more patient with things like that. That's because of you.

470
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 2: Well, I love you. Thanks for doing the Q and A.

471
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 1: I actually like the The Curious.

472
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 2: Stay tuned for another Q and A that we will

473
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 2: do later on.