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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yanta and know it

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Speaker 1: all and her words come from her head, her heart,

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Speaker 1: and often out of her ass. This podcast should not

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Speaker 1: be misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a

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Speaker 1: huge grain of salt for entertainment purposes. Only these.

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Speaker 2: You need help, You're the problems.

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Speaker 3: Come on, come do.

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Speaker 2: Go clam take a pill. I think you're insane. Do

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Speaker 2: what I say, dumb ass? Listen to me? You come on?

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Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? Enough is enough? Isn't that the truth?

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Speaker 3: I give one?

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Speaker 2: I do too? You know what enough? Why am I

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Speaker 2: doing a podcast? Culturrink this with Lease Live and II?

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Speaker 2: Please email this's your questions. Just show at gmail dot

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Speaker 2: com that strength is Show at gmail dot com with

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Speaker 2: your question. Why, Nick, did I sign up to do

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Speaker 2: a podcast where I get to help others? And ostensibly

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Speaker 2: I know you like that word get rejection in return.

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Speaker 2: Who's helping me? No one? No one. I have to

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Speaker 2: pay for help. I don't think that's good.

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Speaker 3: I'm her health. It's bad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and even today I had to drive myself. It

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Speaker 2: was disgusting. I said, Nick, you may have to take

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Speaker 2: the wheel. Jesus take the wheel, because enough is enough,

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Speaker 2: which coincidentally is the topic of our episode today. When

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Speaker 2: is enough enough? And by that I mean things achievement.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, jerking off?

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Speaker 3: Maybe cock?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Nick, Actually Celia is here, by the way, our

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Speaker 2: beloved ish producer, Celia. This was so disgusting Nick last

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Speaker 2: week in my adult comedy class that he takes, which

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Speaker 2: is now a creativity group, just to take the pressure

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Speaker 2: off a little. Nick is like hitting heavy and hard

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Speaker 2: on this older lady in the class, but not like

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Speaker 2: hitting on her like he wants to fuck her, but

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Speaker 2: like just kind of like joking with her and stuff.

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Speaker 2: And I said to her after I go, Nick, man,

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Speaker 2: you gotta be more careful, like she might take offense,

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Speaker 2: and he goes, Dude, it's just like I was lifting before,

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Speaker 2: and I think I'm just horny. Give me that way.

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Speaker 2: You're like some weird nephew that I don't want to

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Speaker 2: think of that way. But like that's why I bring

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Speaker 2: up jerking off. When is enough enough? I may go

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Speaker 2: in for the kill maybe once a month enough, And

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Speaker 2: also when I'm done, I'm happy. I don't mean that

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Speaker 2: way I don't.

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Speaker 3: Mean, I don't mean fulfilled.

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Speaker 2: I mean I'm like, when is this thing going to end?

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Speaker 2: Let's go. I have things to do, so no, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, let's go like I do. But anyway,

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Speaker 2: in the old guitar there no, no, no, that's banjo

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Speaker 2: would have been better saved year off. Today you're already

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Speaker 2: on my nerve. No I know who isn't. But anyway,

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Speaker 2: I got to think, and because I've been following a

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Speaker 2: lot of influence not actually influencers, they call themselves de influencers,

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Speaker 2: to like, have you buy less stuff? And I started

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Speaker 2: thinking about it's never fucking enough. First of all, I

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Speaker 2: when I'm scrolling on the TikTok, I will if anything

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Speaker 2: says shop, I scroll immediately. If it says links for

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Speaker 2: sale and sizing, I scroll. I don't want to buy

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Speaker 2: more stuff. And I'm like, why isn't anything ever enough?

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Speaker 2: With people? It's I need the one last item of clothing,

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Speaker 2: that one style of jeans, that one lip gloss. It's like, bitch,

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Speaker 2: your lip gloss is not going to change your life.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, just like stop it. Learn from

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Speaker 2: lesbians don't wear makeup. That's like how I feel logie

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Speaker 2: as a sixty three year old non influencer myself. But Nick,

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Speaker 2: do you ever get caught in the trap of like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm always chasing something. It's like I

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Speaker 2: read a quote once where she said, which I loved

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Speaker 2: this quote, how I hate the word lovely, but I'll

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Speaker 2: allow it for this quote. How lovely is it to

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Speaker 2: be chasing nothing and running from nothing? The whole idea

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Speaker 2: is that as every time we buy something we don't need,

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Speaker 2: or get another degree, or get another you know, run

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Speaker 2: another race, whatever it is, we're running from something or

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Speaker 2: we're chasing something, and neither one feels very great. Are

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Speaker 2: you ever a victim of this?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. Back to it real quick. I want

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Speaker 3: to talk about when you're going.

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Speaker 2: Through tricket off.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Do you ever go to TikTok and you're like,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna flick my bean?

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Speaker 2: No, there's ever anybody hot on my TikTok. I think

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Speaker 2: I got TikTok. A few times they'll send me like

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Speaker 2: a hot gay, but I will never like because they

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Speaker 2: think I'm a gay guy. I'm okay, they know I'm

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Speaker 2: a gay guy, but I'm like, I feel weird flicking

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Speaker 2: it to uh, a gay. I just think I'm abusing them.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, against their will, I'm doing an act

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Speaker 2: that they would not lovely. Maybe they would appreciate it,

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Speaker 2: maybe for because for the for like if you watch

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Speaker 2: a minute, I guess they get money. I don't know

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Speaker 2: how this thing works. I don't know. People have creator

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Speaker 2: things and yeah, is it like if you watch it

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Speaker 2: for a full minute, you help.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a creator fund. So like if you

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Speaker 4: applied for the creator fund, then you get accepted and

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Speaker 4: you have like a minute it to make your money.

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Speaker 2: So if I do my monthly spanking to a guy

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Speaker 2: who's a gay, I'm actually an activist and an ally. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because I'm really big. If you're shrumming the old ladyman,

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Speaker 2: you I mean, and we're talking monthly, it is not

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Speaker 2: a lot. I'm thinking if I had a guess for you, Nick,

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Speaker 2: let's just go back on that topic, I would guess

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Speaker 2: like three times a.

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Speaker 3: Day for you a day?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're insane, really never colleging.

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Speaker 3: Okay, now I'm thirty seven years old.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, twice a week, maybe that's it. Yeah, man, what

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Speaker 2: about you, Cilia, I don't do that. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: that's what I used to say to I rarely do it.

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Speaker 2: I once, it's so funny. I didn't do it for

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Speaker 2: probably ten years because I went through menopause. I wasn't

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Speaker 2: on hormone therapy replacement. I was just like, oh, great,

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Speaker 2: Like I don't have a sex drive. It keeps me

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Speaker 2: from fucking awful guys. This is fantastic. But then I

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Speaker 2: started going on hormones just to get all the levels right,

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Speaker 2: and I started getting a tiny bit randy. If Phil's

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Speaker 2: a so I said to my shrink, I go, eh,

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Speaker 2: these kids, because she's only thirty two or something. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: these kids, they they have the vibrators. I don't need

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Speaker 2: any of that. And she goes, honey, it's not that

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Speaker 2: you need it, but you want it. Like so, she's like,

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Speaker 2: you don't get a vibrator because you need it, You

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Speaker 2: get it because you have the desire for it. I said,

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Speaker 2: I can't even search for one. Does Amazon sell them?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I got over it.

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Speaker 3: Doctor sounds hot.

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Speaker 2: What's she's she's queer?

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Speaker 3: How's her lady harp doing?

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Speaker 2: It's pretty good with the ladies.

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Speaker 3: She's gay?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, she always hits on old and gay people

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Speaker 2: can be a woman. So any way back to it,

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Speaker 2: do you feel like you have that chasing and that

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Speaker 2: chasing and that chasing You've definitely experienced.

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Speaker 3: That for sure. I would say with stuff not as much.

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Speaker 3: Like if we're talking about like clothes and things like that,

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Speaker 3: I talking about getting hard. I get hard when I

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Speaker 3: throw things out, Like I love getting rid of shit.

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Speaker 2: Oh we are so the opposite.

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Speaker 3: I love getting rid of things that I don't need,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, just like a good Will

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Speaker 3: run twice a year where I'm like, what the fuck

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Speaker 3: is this doing here? Like I love getting rid of it.

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Speaker 3: In that regard as far as chasing things, I don't

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Speaker 3: like people have come over and I have this like

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Speaker 3: new apartment has a nice walking closet, there's nothing.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, you almost like it. You have a

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Speaker 2: it's like you're a minimalist. Not because you're a minimalist,

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Speaker 2: but because you're poor. Yeah, it's like self imposed minimalism.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But also that's like a very clean, elegant way to live.

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Speaker 2: I just think like the emotional thing behind over consumption

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Speaker 2: and just buying too much, it's just constantly running to

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Speaker 2: something and from something. So I remember I was doing

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Speaker 2: a retreat over New Year's Eve, and I said to

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Speaker 2: the that monk running the retreat, I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm running from I always feel like

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Speaker 2: I can't stop running. And he just goes, what are

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Speaker 2: you running from? And I just like burst into tears,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, that clearly hit a nerve where

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Speaker 2: I'm definitely running from something. And it's not like I

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Speaker 2: have a repressed memory of childhood abuse or things like that,

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Speaker 2: but I'm running from I think worthlessness. So it's all

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Speaker 2: about am I worthy? Am I lovable? Am I someone

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Speaker 2: who can be loved or thought of as a friend

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Speaker 2: or whatever. And it's like, oh, but clicking the you know,

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Speaker 2: flair jeans from GANI inside joke is going to fix me. Well,

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Speaker 2: it fixes you intil the box arrives and then you're

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Speaker 2: kind of happy you open it and these try mind

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Speaker 2: and you're kind of happy you wear them once, and

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Speaker 2: it's like the law of diminishing returns. Now I need

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Speaker 2: that dopamine hit again. Which, oh, I need those in

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Speaker 2: the other color. Like I just bought three pairs. I

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Speaker 2: just bought three, no four pairs of H and M

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Speaker 2: second hand. Don't worry, I'm not going back on my

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Speaker 2: sustainability barrel leg jeans, which I love in four different colors,

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Speaker 2: because God forbid, you'd be able to not have the

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Speaker 2: light wash, which, by the way, you'll never wear because

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Speaker 2: no one ever wears light wash because they look like shit,

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Speaker 2: they're basically white. But you have to have them. And

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Speaker 2: by the way, I shouldn't say yeah, I had to

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Speaker 2: have them, and I'm like, oh, what was I trying

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Speaker 2: to fill that day? What was I trying to fill?

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Speaker 2: It wasn't the jeans. It's never the thing that's the

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Speaker 2: sad thing. It's never the thing. I mean, achievements, the

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Speaker 2: same thing you'd sell out won't say in your world

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Speaker 2: you sell out a Deli's, you sell out one place.

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Speaker 2: And again, I talked to comics all the time who

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Speaker 2: are like, like, what's your goal, And every one of them,

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Speaker 2: to a fault, will say, look, it's not like I

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Speaker 2: have to be famous or anything. I just like I

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Speaker 2: have to you know, but I love to make a

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Speaker 2: living from comedy, like you know what a headline of

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Speaker 2: comedy club, And in my head, I go, yeah, until

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Speaker 2: you do, and then it's gonna be the next thing,

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Speaker 2: and the next thing and next thing until it's like

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Speaker 2: you're just confronted with, Oh, it's never gonna be enough.

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Speaker 2: Radio City isn't enough, Madison Square Garden isn't enough, and

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Speaker 2: you're chasing some dream that you think is gonna give

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Speaker 2: you peace. I think that's the key. You never get

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Speaker 2: peace from any of this stuff. You get highs and lows,

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Speaker 2: and that's the opposite of peace.

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Speaker 3: I go back and forth on this a lot. This

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Speaker 3: is something I actually discussed this past week with with

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Speaker 3: my therapist. I was just talking about how like, when

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Speaker 3: I look back over the last seven years it we'll

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Speaker 3: say comedy in particular, or really anywhere in my life,

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Speaker 3: just career wise, the money I make everything the last

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Speaker 3: seven years or so has just gone consistently up and

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Speaker 3: they're progressing m m. And it's great. But then there

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Speaker 3: are moments where I'm like, should I be doing more?

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Speaker 3: Like I'm right, should be doing more. But everything's everything's

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Speaker 3: moving up, nothing's going backwards, nothing's getting worse. You're making

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Speaker 3: more money at work, you're making money from comedy, you're

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Speaker 3: getting better opportunities, like it's all going in the right direction.

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Speaker 3: Then I'm like, no, but I gotta you know this

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Speaker 3: one thing, like it's like almost like I'm looking for something.

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Speaker 2: I call you when I call that, And I had

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Speaker 2: it written down last year in the front of my

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Speaker 2: calendar because I'm still old school. I use old fashioned

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Speaker 2: paper calendar, and I wrote right on the first page,

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Speaker 2: so I see it every day. Quit making trouble in

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Speaker 2: your own life. So it's like everything's going contentedly along.

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Speaker 2: But then I got to make trouble. Because if we're

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Speaker 2: raised in a household, which you know, emotionally, we both

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Speaker 2: were emotionally, you know, immature parents. They did the best

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Speaker 2: they could. We're used to upheaval. Like we love drama.

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Speaker 2: We say we hate it, but every time you say

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Speaker 2: drama you hate drama probably means you fucking love it.

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Speaker 2: So when I'm like feeling a little too calm, that's

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Speaker 2: real unfamiliar, Like when's the last time I felt really calm,

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Speaker 2: It's like, oh, let me make some trouble. So Nick's

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Speaker 2: going along playing the the uh, you know, the brewery

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Speaker 2: down the street. So yeah, seventeen tickets an Irish Saint

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Speaker 2: Patty's Day and playing his lady harp to beat the band.

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Speaker 2: And then instead of going home and having that peaceful wow,

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Speaker 2: wasn't that nice? It's like, oh, that wasn't enough. What's next?

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Speaker 2: What's next? Cause we're not familiar with the feeling of

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Speaker 2: it just being fine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I had that last summer where like I read

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Speaker 3: a personal finance book and I was like getting my

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Speaker 3: shit together money wise, and it was calm for three

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Speaker 3: months and it was like really nice. Yeah, and then

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Speaker 3: I get a case of what I like to call

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Speaker 3: the fuckets and you're like, yeah, but I want to

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Speaker 3: do this, I want to say no to that, and

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Speaker 3: then yeah, and then you dig yourself into a little

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Speaker 3: bit of hole and you're like.

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Speaker 2: Ah, well, then it was all fine. But the things

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Speaker 2: you were saying yes too, were they actually things that

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Speaker 2: they could have been fun or whatever? But did they

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Speaker 2: bring you I'm not gonna even say joy. Did they

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Speaker 2: bring you the piece that you wanted? Or was it

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Speaker 2: the three months that it was solid the more peaceful.

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Speaker 3: Did it bring me peace? Doing all the things didn't

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Speaker 3: bring me? A lot of it is bullshit things too

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Speaker 3: that I like, just I get it. You make the

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Speaker 3: justification in the moment that you're like I need this,

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Speaker 3: gotta do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: What's an example, Well, A big one for me is

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Speaker 3: ordering food out bats that's a big deal where it's like,

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Speaker 3: well I don't have lunch, da, what am I to do?

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Speaker 1: Like eat?

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Speaker 2: I gotta order right right? How about those three fricking

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Speaker 2: eight hundred pound chickens you got at the house that

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Speaker 2: you're buying bulk because you think you're bulking up?

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Speaker 3: I am, I know, I know.

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Speaker 2: You're getting a little good No, I know you're getting

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Speaker 2: some protein and day looking good. No, But it's like

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Speaker 2: it doesn't. Yeah, it just brings you more of that thing,

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Speaker 2: more stress. And it's like if we could recognize it's

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Speaker 2: so advanced, it's so freaking hard to do, Like even

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Speaker 2: at this age, it's so hard to be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I notice that flutter the where is it in my body?

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Speaker 2: Where is that that signal to just pause? You don't

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Speaker 2: need that? Do you want it? Maybe you don't even

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Speaker 2: want it. Maybe you want what you actually want, which

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Speaker 2: is connection or community or you know, a phone call

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Speaker 2: or just quiet like who knows. But it's never the thing.

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Speaker 2: That thing never does bring the peace. No, So I

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Speaker 2: think we fuck with our own lives, and this is

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Speaker 2: an easy way to do it because it's a quick

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Speaker 2: hit of whatever dopamine makes us feel, which is like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm on a high. I just order the cute issues

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, yeah, they're coming in.

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Speaker 3: They're not.

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Speaker 2: It's so cue. Do you have those?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: You know, it's just like bad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know what's the uh. I mean, we'll

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Speaker 3: get into this later in the episode, but like, I

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Speaker 3: don't know, like what's the remedy for that.

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Speaker 2: I think it's basically doing getting the wake up call

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Speaker 2: in the moment. So, for instance, I told the story

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Speaker 2: I think where my shrink. I was complaining to my

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Speaker 2: shrink about not having enough community, and she just very

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Speaker 2: calmly said, oh, what will be enough? And I go,

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Speaker 2: It'll never be enough. I'm more than where that. It's not.

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Speaker 2: It is already enough. What I have is more than

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Speaker 2: most people. So it's basically within me to notice that

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Speaker 2: and go, it's a story. I'm telling myself that I

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Speaker 2: need those shoes. I do not need anything. No one

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Speaker 2: needs anything. Oh wait, where am I feeling the lack

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Speaker 2: of connection? Is it in my heart? Is in my throat?

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Speaker 2: Where is it? Like we do in therapy and be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: let me work on that. And sitting with that uncomfortableness,

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Speaker 2: sitting with the uncomfortableness of not pressing by now is

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Speaker 2: obviously going to get us much more more peace than

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Speaker 2: buying now. So same thing with like you get a

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Speaker 2: call to do like in the old days of roast

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Speaker 2: or a podcast or whatever it is TV show, Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, well, yes, yes, of course, and then wouldn't

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Speaker 2: it be nice to sit with it? Go do I

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Speaker 2: really want this? Is this something that really will bring

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Speaker 2: me peace and joy? Probably not. I probably probably would

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Speaker 2: retired like ten years earlier, because I've been like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's not as joyful as it was, and it used

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Speaker 2: to be really full of fun and joy, but now

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Speaker 2: it's kind of like, not gonna get through it that way.

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Speaker 2: And this isn't saying like, oh, all you have to

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Speaker 2: do is quit everything, buy nothing and become like an

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Speaker 2: expert in meditation or going on retreats. You can overdo

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Speaker 2: with that stuff too. You could sign up for one

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Speaker 2: retreat a month and be like, oh, yes, so then

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna work on this, and then I'm gonna work

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Speaker 2: on that. And it's all just a distraction from not

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Speaker 2: wanting to feel uncomfortable on the inside. I think we're

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Speaker 2: all just running from feelings constantly.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, I guess. I guess the answer is

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Speaker 3: just working on yourself right and just making yourself comfortable

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Speaker 3: with being because I've done this my whole life. It's

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Speaker 3: a series of ups and downs, and you just wonder like,

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Speaker 3: is this ever gonna nope, kept better or we're just

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Speaker 3: gonna We're just gonna do this.

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Speaker 2: At almost twice your age. No, And really you'll wake

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Speaker 2: up some mornings you're just like, oh my god, like

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Speaker 2: I thought this was over with. I thought this I

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Speaker 2: didn't have to work on this, and then something else happened,

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Speaker 2: and then you're just like, oh, I guess this is

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Speaker 2: acceptance of life.

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Speaker 3: What what part of it or how much of it

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Speaker 3: do you think is? It's like someone wanting to stay stuck,

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Speaker 3: like maybe getting themselves stuck in the same routine, or

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Speaker 3: like they say it's spending money, or say it's whatever,

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Speaker 3: and it's like they play the there's a million examples

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Speaker 3: of this, but they just do the just they keep

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Speaker 3: telling themselves the same story over and over again, or

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Speaker 3: they keep acting out the same story over and over again.

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Speaker 2: All that stuff I thinks stuckness, they say, is all fear,

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Speaker 2: fear of the unknown. So we're say you and I

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Speaker 2: had grown up in bollatle households, and we're we're scared

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Speaker 2: of what peace full like union of two people might

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Speaker 2: look like. What is it if it's not fighting? What

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Speaker 2: is it if it's not death? What is it if

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Speaker 2: it's not you know, everyone yelling at each other? Oh shit,

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Speaker 2: I might as well stay stuck in this, you know,

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Speaker 2: weird volatile marriage or relationship or friendship that's up and down,

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Speaker 2: up and down because the peace on the other side.

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Speaker 2: And I hate when people do this. They're like, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I love up and down. It's so boring

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Speaker 2: to not go up and down. No, it's fucking not fun. Like,

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Speaker 2: it's not boring just to be at peace, because the

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Speaker 2: few moments I'll get of it, I'm like, Oh, this

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Speaker 2: is what it feels like. Why was I running from

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Speaker 2: this and just noticing it and going, oh wow, I

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Speaker 2: can actually change this and it's not as scary. Again,

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Speaker 2: the devil we know better than the angel. We don't

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Speaker 2: know which sucks.

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Speaker 3: It does suck, I know. That's like I always think, like,

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Speaker 3: what what if I Cause I've gotten into debt here

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Speaker 3: and there and I always get out, But like, what

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Speaker 3: if I just stayed out and build up a savings.

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Speaker 3: But then the new scary thing would be, well, and

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Speaker 3: now I have all the savings, should do I have

380
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Speaker 3: to buy?

381
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Speaker 2: How?

382
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Speaker 4: Like?

383
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Speaker 3: What do I do now?

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Speaker 2: But yeah, the decision fatigue would come on and.

385
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Speaker 3: Be like, all right, I'm here now, and then what now?

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Speaker 2: What I know? And I think it's all that thing

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00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 2: of going I guess I'll learn then, Like basically, like

388
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Speaker 2: I'm you and I've both got a lot of relationships

389
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Speaker 2: with boyfriend's girlfriends or whatever. They weren't all horrible, but

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Speaker 2: they weren't so great that you would want it to

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Speaker 2: continue forever. Right, must be pretty fucking scary to be

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Speaker 2: with somebody and take the chance and go ooh, it

393
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Speaker 2: feels kind of peaceful. Are we boring? Is it okay

394
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Speaker 2: to like just sit and watch a movie? Oh my god,

395
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Speaker 2: we're boring. We're those people now, It's yeah, it's like

396
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Speaker 2: you don't do anything. The best is when you just

397
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Speaker 2: sit there. So I think it's like all those the

398
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Speaker 2: fear of unknown is so overpowering. People just won't break

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Speaker 2: out of it, which I get it, you know. I

400
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:20,360
Speaker 2: just think we don't change because we want to. It's

401
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 2: because we have to. So you have to be in

402
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Speaker 2: such a bad relationship that you leave, you have to

403
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: go in so much debt with useless purchases that didn't

404
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,360
Speaker 2: bring you any peace, that you go, whoop, I gotta

405
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 2: change my ways. So it would be good to notice

406
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 2: it before you had a change, before it was that

407
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 2: urgent that you burn bridges and that your bankrupts and

408
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 2: all this other stuff. You know, and don't worry your salary.

409
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 2: You'll never make enough money for a house.

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Speaker 4: I know.

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Speaker 2: Oh, by the way, I love how like we got

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00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 2: right into it. And I didn't even say who you are.

413
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Speaker 2: But people shouldn't know by now. Yeah, yeah, where way

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Speaker 2: do you find your Nick?

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Speaker 3: You can find me on Poshmark, buy my sweaters. I

416
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 3: make no Nick scopes on Instagram and tiktoks.

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Speaker 2: But also, what's great, you guys, here's what to do.

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Speaker 2: I don't want Nick to get that fake dopamine hit

419
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Speaker 2: from getting additional followers. If you already follow Nick, go

420
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Speaker 2: on and unfollow him. And also if you if you

421
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,879
Speaker 2: don't follow him, just don't and then let him not

422
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: get that dopamine and see how much peace there is

423
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Speaker 2: in ten followers. I think that would be right and

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00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,640
Speaker 2: it would be good for your personal growth. I insist

425
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Speaker 2: people you can't listen if you follow.

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Speaker 5: Nick Anyway, this is Shrink This with Lisa Lampinelli, and

427
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Speaker 5: we're going to answer some viewer questions about this topic.

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty six years old and I have ran five

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Speaker 3: marathons two years. Wait Lisa's favorite.

430
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 2: Wait wait, five marathons in two years. Okay, you're mentally ill,

431
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 2: but I will reserve judgment.

432
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 3: Go beating my best time in each one. It's called achievement, Lisa,

433
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:16,439
Speaker 3: look it up.

434
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: No, this bitch is damn it. How should your father

435
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 2: hate you?

436
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 3: Oh? Man, I know I love the high of pushing

437
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 3: through the high and just sign up for my first

438
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 3: oh my god, my first iron Man race.

439
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 2: Oh. If this is a woman, you should be ashamed.

440
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 2: Your periods are gonna stop and your tits are gonna

441
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 2: get hot as rocks.

442
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, like my well minorsoft. But uh Now, for those

443
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 3: who don't know it's an iron Man, this is in

444
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 3: the question. It's a full marathon on top of it

445
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 3: one hundred and twelve mile bike ride.

446
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 2: There's something wrong with you.

447
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 3: In a two point four mile swim.

448
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 2: Nobody cares.

449
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 3: That's what iron Man is for everyone. It's I know

450
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 3: people do him.

451
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 2: It's insane, It's insane.

452
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,360
Speaker 3: My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy.

453
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, because guess what bitch you are?

454
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 3: And then I'm never going to be satisfied no matter

455
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 3: how hard I think. It's a healthy passion. Do you

456
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 3: let me answer for Lisa saying you.

457
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 2: God therapy, I mean, talk about what you're running from.

458
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 2: Like literally, now, I'm not saying this happened to dear Jamie,

459
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 2: but there is a best seller out right now. Do

460
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 2: not read it if you're triggered bi sexual assault. It

461
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 2: is called Amy Griffin's The Tell, and it is literally

462
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 2: about a woman who all she did was run. Sounds

463
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 2: exactly like this woman. I'm not saying this is Jamie,

464
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 2: but this woman Amy was running from something and through therapy,

465
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 2: finds out what it is. And it's horrifying what happened

466
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 2: to her. But she could never figure out why she

467
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 2: was always literally running and figuratively running. Always had to

468
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: be perfect and everything, had to always make things look easy,

469
00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:00,400
Speaker 2: had to be perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect everything, and

470
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 2: her kid one day says to her, talk about oh,

471
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 2: just in alignment with like what you're supposed to do?

472
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 2: Nine year old kid said to her Mommy, I don't

473
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 2: feel like I know you. You're always perfect, but I

474
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 2: don't know you at all. And it wasn't about ignoring

475
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,919
Speaker 2: the kid. It was presenting perfection. And kids consents that

476
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 2: there's something going on with mom, so that drives mom

477
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 2: to therapy. The book is so good and she discovers

478
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,479
Speaker 2: all this, and then it's the whole story about what

479
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,680
Speaker 2: she does, which is heroic. Anyway, I'm not saying this

480
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:40,439
Speaker 2: is all runners, but there's gotta be something that you

481
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 2: learned as a kid that your value is in besting yourself,

482
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 2: achieving new highs. She even said in a letter, high

483
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 2: a high, what is the high about? If it was

484
00:25:55,160 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 2: Heroine in that letter, I'd be like, easily you could say, okay,

485
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 2: you should obviously quit herrowin because you're chasing a high.

486
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 2: But it's harder when it's something like running or in fact, shopping.

487
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 2: If someone has the money to afford it, it's harder

488
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 2: to spot. It's harder to criticize, Oh, not going broke.

489
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: But I'm still medicating myself with this thing. So I say,

490
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 2: go to therapy, figure out what is going on. Your

491
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 2: boyfriend is right and what's the boyfriend's name? Did she say,

492
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna make up that his name is Oscar.

493
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I am Oscar. You're right,

494
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 2: and you know what, cheat on her? This is what

495
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 2: I say. I feel that should happen because runners need

496
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 2: to be punished, and she needs to see what loss

497
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 2: is like, so she changes her ways. And by the way,

498
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 2: do you ever see these runners who eventually do learn

499
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 2: it's ridiculous and end up nice and plump, and you're like,

500
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:55,119
Speaker 2: they even look better without the crippling injuries and a

501
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,959
Speaker 2: little weight on them, Like they relax into who they

502
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 2: were meant to be. No one's meant to be a

503
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: stick figure who chases. Stop being a stick figure who chases.

504
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 3: Let it out.

505
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 2: Stop it right now, Jamie, seek help. But I love

506
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,439
Speaker 2: you anyways, keep listening.

507
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 3: I literally had this.

508
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: Do you agree with me?

509
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 3: I do. I had this happen last night with a friend,

510
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 3: like not marathons, but other shit. Awesome girl, beautiful.

511
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 2: Girl, and she was jumping down.

512
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 3: I mean she is, that's it is. But but what

513
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 3: I'm and she'll kill me years, But I don't care.

514
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: Nobody listening to.

515
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 3: No one's listening, But she puts a lot of value

516
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 3: on her looks. I mean everything right, And I was like,

517
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 3: I go and she said something to me, and I go,

518
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,959
Speaker 3: work on yourself. She goes, I am working on myself

519
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 3: like I've been single. And I go that that doesn't

520
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 3: mean like, that doesn't mean your work. I go, I

521
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 3: be internally and then she was like and then literally

522
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 3: three sentences later, she goes, Oh my god, I guess

523
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 3: what I'm doing. It's gonna change both our like she

524
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 3: was joking and she's like, I'm gonna get tits.

525
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 2: Oh boy, it's so much easier for I would say

526
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 2: probably ninety percent of the audience to go, yeah, Nick's right,

527
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 2: like getting fake tits, and you know, doing all this

528
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 2: stuff that's external for your beauty isn't going to help

529
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 2: because it will never end. You will end up looking

530
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: like a science project. But it's harder to do it

531
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 2: with a runner because it's ostensibly healthy, Like it's it's

532
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 2: the fake healthy. So if you're drinking eight green juices

533
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 2: and shit in your pants, we're gonna let it go

534
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 2: and be like, no, that's fine, versus someone who's getting

535
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,919
Speaker 2: the fake boobs or the lip implants or all that

536
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 2: stuff or calf implants, which I've heard of those too.

537
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 2: It's just like it's easier to identify the really surfacey ones.

538
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 2: But if it's something that can be disguised as wellness

539
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 2: and exercise, then oh the more the better. No, not

540
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 2: necessarily true. No. Also from a health point of view,

541
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 2: don't the like runners like marathon long since runners get

542
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 2: lots of injuries and crazy stuff.

543
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 3: Insane. I mean, any any form of exercise or anything

544
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 3: you do can be taken to an extreme right, going

545
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 3: for a two mile run once week, like you're not

546
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 3: gonna die.

547
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 2: No, of course, I know that's moderate.

548
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 3: Run marathons five in a two year span. That's mentally

549
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 3: an iron man.

550
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 2: That's what you say to you show us on the

551
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 2: doll where he touched you, Like you just go, what's happening?

552
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 2: Like there's some deep internal shit. I mean, I, yes,

553
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 2: was a huge achiever. I was always about the next

554
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 2: Tonight show or the next roast, or the next TV

555
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 2: thing or the next whatever. But I didn't physically hurt

556
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 2: myself to do it. I'm not saying it's better, but

557
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 2: I heated a wake up call eventually, Like when that

558
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 2: guy backstage at Radio City said to me next Madison

559
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 2: Square Garden, and instead of feeling happy about that, was like, oh,

560
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: it's never going to be enough wake up call. Someone

561
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 2: has to tell people it's never going to be an off.

562
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 2: It has to dawn on them. And uh see, this

563
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 2: is why I don't date. This is why I jerk

564
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 2: the bean, because I could never put up with a

565
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 2: guy who didn't know this stuff. You know, So I

566
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 2: feel bad for the boyfriend. So therefore I say cheat

567
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 2: next letter with me, Yes, next letter, I love.

568
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 3: Sorry, what a jerk, Hey Lisa, I'm Terry.

569
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 2: See these all ambiguously sexual names. Hey Terry, I.

570
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 3: Name Terry, fifty eight years old from Columbus, and I

571
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 3: don't even know where to start.

572
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 2: Fifty eight eight gross old people.

573
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 3: Yuck, But here it is. I'm just tired of chasing

574
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 3: shit that doesn't make me feel any better. My house

575
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 3: is full of stuff like full. You've got gadgets, clothes,

576
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 3: random hobby crap.

577
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: I swore, Oh my god, the fucking craft no run

578
00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 2: away from the Michael's.

579
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 3: Craft Resistance bansh even a breadmaker I used once and

580
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 3: now just stare at like it's judging me.

581
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 2: It is, by the way, and.

582
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 3: Still I catch myself thinking maybe I just need one

583
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 3: more thing, Oh my god, Like if I could just

584
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 3: find the right couch, pillow, planner, pair of shoes, i'd

585
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 3: finally feel settled. But that feeling never really comes. I

586
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 3: just end up with more stuff to shove in the closet.

587
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 3: Like me, I'm not sure what I'm even looking for

588
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 3: anymore anymore, but I know it's not coming from Amazon.

589
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you're looking. The thing is terry. First of all,

590
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 2: get out of Columbus second month now. Actually it's a

591
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: fine place. The problem with all this she she's what

592
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 2: is She's she's a counterear away from getting well because

593
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 2: she's already realizing, wow, this isn't working. This is almost

594
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 2: like fifty eight years old, realizes her house is full

595
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 2: of stuff, realize something has to change. She is this

596
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 2: close to making a change. So I think what would

597
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 2: be great is if she went the therapy figured out

598
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,080
Speaker 2: what again she thinks all this stuff is going to

599
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 2: do for her. Now, people do all these crafting supplies

600
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 2: and these breadmakers and this they're shopping for a fantasy self.

601
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 2: So if you are not the person who bakes bread,

602
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 2: you think buying a bread maker will make you into

603
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 2: the person who bakes bread. No, it turns you into

604
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 2: the person with another appliance on their counter that nothing's

605
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 2: happening with and you just feel bad because you paid

606
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 2: money for it, and does mock you If you are

607
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 2: the person who has embroidery supplies, art supplies, crafting things, felt,

608
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: do you have any felt in your house? You're the

609
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 2: person who, Wow, my fantasy self loves crafting. But what

610
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 2: does your real self love. At the very basickest of

611
00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 2: basickests of playing needs is yourself would probably like a

612
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 2: little dose of I don't know, quiet contentment, connection with

613
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 2: friends doing something kind of sweet. It's really not gonna

614
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 2: come from pretending to try to be a quilter or

615
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 2: a knitter. We have talked about knitting and it always

616
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 2: comes up because I know true knitters. Bonnie, my friend

617
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 2: I've talked about as the real ogene knitter, and she

618
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 2: actually gets joy fulfillment piece out of it. She even

619
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 2: knits in public and it brings her more peace. Well,

620
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:43,120
Speaker 2: if I was to buy some knitting supplies, there is

621
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 2: no way I'd have peace. I'd have adjada, like poor

622
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 2: what's her name, Clammy Terry, Terry. Stop being a clam

623
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:54,719
Speaker 2: stop shopping for the fantasy of who you are at heart.

624
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 2: You're a basic broad. You're fifty eight. I love being

625
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 2: on Basic two. You just want a little taste of contentment.

626
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 2: Start chasing that with as much fervency as you chase

627
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 2: the Amazon truck, and then you will be fine. I do.

628
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 2: Since she's on the cusp, though she recognizes the problem correct.

629
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 3: She understands she's listing. When you start listing all the things, yeah, yeah,

630
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 3: and you're writing into a show like ours.

631
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have problems, you're desperate, You're like, okay, yeah,

632
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 2: she's disclosed from her bottom, yees bottom.

633
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 4: No.

634
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 2: It is so great when people are just about there. Yeah,

635
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 2: she's going to get there. And isn't it sad that

636
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 2: it usually comes with age because you have to f

637
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 2: up or experiments so much that you're like, oh, wait,

638
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 2: that hasn't worked for forty years.

639
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 3: I remember, maybe change it.

640
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 2: When I was dating somebody and I said to a

641
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 2: shrink at the time, this is years ago, and I said,

642
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 2: but maybe he'll change and she said, well, did it

643
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 2: work with the other thirteen? It's like, whoa, it did not.

644
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 2: You almost have to hear the innocent question and makes

645
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 2: you go, who better change that? Nope, but didn't stop

646
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 2: thinking somebody's going to change just because you want him to.

647
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 2: So Terry, I have more hope for you than Jamie,

648
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 2: who I don't hope has a massive heart attack running.

649
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 2: But maybe that's a wake up call she needs.

650
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 3: Next question, next letter. This is from Dan Dan.

651
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 2: I'm assuming that's a guy. This is our first definitely.

652
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 3: Guy from Hewlett, New York.

653
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 2: Oh, that's all of Jeweleet. No it is. It's one

654
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:35,919
Speaker 2: of the five towns I think out in Long Islands. Yeah,

655
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,840
Speaker 2: it's definitely had a good fellas jew Brood's prejudice against

656
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 2: a go ahead.

657
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,839
Speaker 3: Dear Lisa, Every year since my wife and I moved

658
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 3: into our house, she has complained and wanted to change something.

659
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 3: Oh boy, First we read to the bathroom, then the basement.

660
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 3: Then we added a wing to the house.

661
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 2: Oh god that when you're heading wings, just buy a

662
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 2: different house. Oh andrey.

663
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 3: Then a pool, then a pool house, Oh.

664
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:12,800
Speaker 2: Girl, what's next? An outdoor showers? Worst?

665
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 3: After each one, She's happy for a minute until she

666
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 3: goes to a friend's house and see something else she

667
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 3: wants that she doesn't have. Do you think this will

668
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 3: ever stop no, because.

669
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 2: You married an aspirational cunts. I mean, because the thing is,

670
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 2: when you're an aspirational person, you're always again buying for

671
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 2: the fantasy you're getting. You're seeing what other people have

672
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 2: and aspiring to what they have. And guess what, if

673
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 2: you interviewed the people who have that, they ain't fulfilled either,

674
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 2: because ps billionaires are the least satisfied people in the world. Sadly,

675
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,839
Speaker 2: our billionaires are evil, so I don't joke about them.

676
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 2: But it's like, if they weren't evil, I would feel

677
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 2: sorry for how empty they must feel to need all

678
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 2: that stuff, or to think they need all that stuff.

679
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 2: To me, the best people are the ones who live

680
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 2: very simply small. Dare to live in a small house,

681
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 2: dare to rent an apartment, dare to not buy the

682
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 2: latest new thing. So unfortunately he has to look at himself.

683
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 2: What was his final question? Like, how did he pose

684
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:20,799
Speaker 2: that question at the end? Stop no, because guess what,

685
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: because you're dumb understop Dan, This is why you're dumb.

686
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 2: And I'll tell you why you knew what you were getting.

687
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,800
Speaker 2: This poor woman, see, I'm not going to make her evil.

688
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: This poor aspirational cunt has said sighted she has low

689
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 2: self worth and only things, huge things are going to

690
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: assuage her worthlessness. So you break it. You bought it,

691
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 2: Dan in for a penny, In for a pound, You're

692
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 2: there for a life, motherfucker. Or you could divorce her

693
00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 2: ass and get a poor bitch. Or you could go

694
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 2: to therapy and try to figure out how you too

695
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,479
Speaker 2: can navigate this, because if this is gonna, I would

696
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 2: be driven crazy by that if somebody kept coming in,

697
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 2: like because with a man, it's usually like, oh, I

698
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 2: need a new iPhone, I need computer, like it's only

699
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 2: some game or some bullshit. They love the games. I

700
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: need a beer cozy, Yeah, yeah, I need the Marshall.

701
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 2: There was a I remember when I was married, there

702
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 2: was a portable like a little mini refrigerator that you

703
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 2: thought it looked like a Marshall amp and it was

704
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: really fucking cool, Like could you literally thought it was

705
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 2: an amp? So I bought it for Jimmy because like codependent,

706
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 2: But with men, it's usually the gadgets and things. Oh

707
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 2: I love a man, by the way, who just doesn't

708
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 2: want everything. And I feel sorry for Dan in a way,

709
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 2: but I also go what was in you that you

710
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:50,400
Speaker 2: felt attracted to about that because there had to be

711
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 2: something he liked. Maybe he didn't have enough get up

712
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 2: and go. And he was like, well, she'll spur me

713
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,880
Speaker 2: on to do better in my career, because sometimes that happens.

714
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,319
Speaker 2: I remember a former man in your mind. He was like, well,

715
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 2: I bought the six million dollar place. I can only

716
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 2: afford the three million, But you want to make me

717
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 2: work harder, Like that's insane, it's mentally ill. And yes

718
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: he did work harder he had the house, But then

719
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 2: did the house ever bring you any joy? Either?

720
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,800
Speaker 3: Probably not at home, but working correct?

721
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 2: Right, Like, I'm always thrilled when I know people who

722
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 2: take like a Friday off or people who like go

723
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 2: on vacation. Samm unreachable. Can you imagine, like, oh, I

724
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:32,439
Speaker 2: have ten days of unreachability? So I think Dan put

725
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 2: it this way. You live in jewel It and you're

726
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 2: living with a Jewish and you gotta figure it out.

727
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 2: You gonna go crazy. Snap, you end up taking a

728
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 2: freaking shotgun and putting it in your fucking mouth. Let

729
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 2: me say hers, let me save you from that. Go

730
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 2: to the shrink. Why every answer is always go to

731
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 2: the shrink. And you know why, I think it is

732
00:39:56,760 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 2: because it's all inward. It's all these answers people trying

733
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 2: to use externals to answer, and it's really going inside

734
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 2: and not having the fear about what'll I find in there?

735
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 2: Usually don't find that much that's that bad.

736
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 3: No, it's very well. First of all, too, it's like

737
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 3: everything you knew was there, you're just you're just like

738
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 3: holding light to it. You knew it was there. You're

739
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 3: not surprised, You're like, oh my god, how did that get.

740
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: It's very rare to have the repressed memory thing happen

741
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 2: and all that. But most people it's just going to

742
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 2: be like, oh, wow, I did have a mother who

743
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 2: was unsatisfied with everything, and that's why I married a

744
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 2: woman that way. And then that's not even that hard

745
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 2: to fix. You have to have a decent, hard conversation

746
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 2: with her and with yourself, but why you volunteered for it.

747
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,439
Speaker 2: It's never going to be like, oh my god, I'm

748
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 2: just gonna die when I find out this thing happened.

749
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:50,479
Speaker 2: That's very rare. So I say to this guy, put

750
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 2: a fucking bag overhead, kidnap a thrower in the trunk,

751
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 2: and get her to thing what we call you, Nick,

752
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 2: What do you think your title should be?

753
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 3: I don't assistant.

754
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,879
Speaker 2: No, I don't like creative assistant. That's what I did

755
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 2: once with my assistant, Like I I go, well, I

756
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 2: can't afford to give you more money, but instead of

757
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 2: being my assistant, we can call you my creative assistant.

758
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:16,959
Speaker 2: She fucking bought it.

759
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 3: What about anal expert?

760
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:24,399
Speaker 2: You are you an expert in anal either?

761
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 3: My girlfriend in college and she just had a miserable

762
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 3: look on her face.

763
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 2: How can you tell if the miserable look was from

764
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 2: the anal or just by being with you? Really?

765
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 3: Nah, that was pretty good back in the day. In

766
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 3: the day I control down, Yeah, but I just looked

767
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 3: uncomfortable and I was like, this is ruining everything for me.

768
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 3: I don't like this.

769
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 2: Should I try it before I die?

770
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 3: Yeah?

771
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 2: If I You know, that's why I have long term

772
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 2: health insurance, because they pay for somebody to live in

773
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 2: your house with you. Maybe it's like a hot chocolate

774
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 2: nedy of a nurse's aide guy, and that would be

775
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 2: in the provisions the.

776
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 3: Job description with him to like just make sure.

777
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 2: You know frequent baths, breaks and anal.

778
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 3: And it's like what towards the end of your life,

779
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 3: you're probably have.

780
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 2: To would you sign up for this jail? Oh my god?

781
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 2: They went off the rails and we just came back

782
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 2: to say goodbye. That's what we do. I look like.

783
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,439
Speaker 2: Third segment used to be something. Now it's not. It's

784
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:35,240
Speaker 2: just basically us dicking around and talking about the anal

785
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:39,760
Speaker 2: white Celia. What do you feel about the anal? Celia, Celia,

786
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,839
Speaker 2: if you had had anal? No, no, no, I said, if

787
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 2: you had, would you admit it to us? Probably?

788
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 3: Yeah?

789
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 2: Really? I think so that's really nice. Probably myself, I

790
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 2: wouldn't cry this.

791
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 3: Is anal, I think for you.

792
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 2: I will ever that. I don't blame you. It's scary

793
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 2: because I mean, a big dump feels really bad. But

794
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,959
Speaker 2: I just you don't understand.

795
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 3: What about it?

796
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 2: Listen for for men. For men, I get it because

797
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,280
Speaker 2: there's a prostate. We don't have anything up there.

798
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:19,720
Speaker 4: Men want to do it.

799
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 2: Oh, men want to do it for power. It's power.

800
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 2: That's why Nick wanted to do it and his girlfriends

801
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 2: are rung.

802
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 4: No.

803
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,879
Speaker 3: She just was like, this is uncomfortable. I was like, yeah,

804
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,239
Speaker 3: she looked uncomfortable. I was like, I can't do this.

805
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 2: What I find is weirder is when guys want to

806
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,439
Speaker 2: be pegged, which I and I wasn't dating when this

807
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 2: phenomenon happened. I didn't think it was a thing. But

808
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 2: now you hear about it. What's going on in the

809
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 2: guy's head And I don't of course. But everybody's like,

810
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 2: don't kink shame and I'm like, no, there's some kinks.

811
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 2: She should be ashamed of that infisting. I think fishing

812
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 2: when you're us is prolapsed and falling out. You probably

813
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 2: should stop this podcast. About one finger is enough. That's

814
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,879
Speaker 2: the one we've learned today. Nick, Why don't you tell

815
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:15,840
Speaker 2: everybody at the about the end of our show?

816
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 3: All right? Guys, make sure to follow Lisa tim follow

817
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 3: Lisa at Lisa Lady Harp liquor follow Lisa on socials

818
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 3: at Lisa Lampinelli. You can follow me on socials at

819
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 3: Nick Scopes, on TikTok and Instagram. Make sure to listen

820
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 3: to shrink this on your I Heart radio app. Yeah,

821
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 3: you get your podcasts.

822
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 2: Or don't or don't I'd rather you didn't listen. We'll

823
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 2: learn more about ourselves and what we need internally if

824
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 2: people don't listen. So you know what you should do.

825
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 2: You should listen to all the other podcasts on iHeart

826
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 2: app stept offers and will learn a valuable lesson and

827
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 2: go back to twiddling and our Twats and scene see

828
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:20,320
Speaker 2: you next week. If we told a podcast made h