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Speaker 1: Entitled mom calls the police on me because of my cancer.

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Speaker 1: You think they'd be a little more forgiving, you know,

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Speaker 1: I guess not. I guess not, OKOP, This is OKAYOP.

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Speaker 1: I'm Samuel Donnan, I'm John Fry and we tell the

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Speaker 1: funniest stories on the Internet.

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Speaker 2: In John, I heard you have a good story from me.

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Speaker 2: We do. We have a bit of a doozy today.

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Speaker 1: And just a forewarning, our op is British, so we

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Speaker 1: have a little British terminology which I'll break down.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna give me a British accent to a British

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Speaker 3: British accent accent.

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Speaker 2: Try everyone except for entitled.

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Speaker 3: Moman Crumpets Holland, Henry Porter and the Sorcerer's Bone.

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Speaker 2: Wait, Tom Holland is that the Draco guy? No Holland

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Speaker 2: is freaking spider Man.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh, I keep forgetting those guys confused, something like that.

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Speaker 1: Both might be Tom Holland. Who who I think Draco

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Speaker 1: and the Spider Man. He's a Holland. At least Draco

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Speaker 1: and Tom Holland are related. Maybe the next story how

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Speaker 1: Karen cheats on her husband and has two both movies

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Speaker 1: child movie stars Anyways, but that's not the story at hand. Backstory,

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Speaker 1: because I live in a rather dodgy town near the

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Speaker 1: coast of England, which naturally comes with its usual amount

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Speaker 1: of entitled chavs. A chav is kind of like a

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Speaker 1: mom with like tacky makeup and just kind of kind

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Speaker 1: of like a Karen, like overblown Karen.

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Speaker 3: Chav is a Karen. Yes, thank you for that. Translation

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Speaker 3: indeed ok English into the God's English.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, God's God's chosen language. The manifest destiny of a

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Speaker 1: spoken word. Just kidding, that's a job. It is a joke.

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Speaker 1: In case you can't freaking tell. This incident occurred a

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Speaker 1: little over two years ago. I was diagnosed with cancer

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Speaker 1: just a week earlier, and I am noticeably autistic, but

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Speaker 1: I do have to I think, like you could, you

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Speaker 1: could kind of tell that something's.

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Speaker 3: Off, you know, but to be self aware of it.

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Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, yeah, yeah, like clearly he is.

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Speaker 1: And OPI goes on to say he is high functioning

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Speaker 1: and can live a relatively normal life in society so

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Speaker 1: people do not notice. But also he can live a

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Speaker 1: pretty normal dea, but he can't pick up on some

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Speaker 1: social cues and you know, thinks of that nature onto

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Speaker 1: the story.

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Speaker 2: I was with my mites, as we call them, Jay

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Speaker 2: and h.

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Speaker 1: It was a relatively sunny day by British standards, so

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Speaker 1: before we hitted the beach, we decided to get a

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Speaker 1: coffee and then head to the skate park inter entitled.

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Speaker 2: Ma Oh and her Children.

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Speaker 1: When we arrived at the skate park, we all immediately

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Speaker 1: noticed three little crotch goblins.

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Speaker 2: The oldest looking around six of them. Crutch. I have this.

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Speaker 3: I have this nephew that's like around like six years

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Speaker 3: old and always punches me right in my crotch, like

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Speaker 3: just like every chance he gets bam, freaking like the

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Speaker 3: Mike Tyson of crotch punches. You're like, bro, you gotta

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Speaker 3: you gotta hold out for a second. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 3: be able to have kids out to that.

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Speaker 1: Children are really it's it's it's weird that like you,

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Speaker 1: as your innocent child brain just kind of goes to that,

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, just punches the cross.

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Speaker 3: Oh children, Oh children, Oh children, No children, crotch goblins.

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Speaker 2: Goa.

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Speaker 1: These crotch goblins are running around, climbing up the ramps,

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Speaker 1: et cetera. Now I am, by no means a professional

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Speaker 1: skater nor are my friends. But I knew that having

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Speaker 1: three little kids running around was not safe recipe for disaster,

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Speaker 1: recipe for disaster. We were mostly concerned with their safety

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Speaker 1: and not so much hours. So I decided to go

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Speaker 1: ask the eldest child kindly where their mom was and

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Speaker 1: if they could move to the children's park, which was

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Speaker 1: empty right next door.

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Speaker 2: So there was literally a children's skate park right next door.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, that they could go to.

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Speaker 3: I imagine the crotch goblins did not take that bossing around,

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Speaker 3: so welcome back, that's right.

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Speaker 2: Nor does their chav mom.

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Speaker 1: Now I hadn't even finished a word of that thought

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Speaker 1: when all of a sudden, I hear a screech.

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Speaker 2: There we go, but in British, but in British.

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Speaker 1: Tea fuck, It's like, what's the British thing? Like oh,

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Speaker 1: crumpets or like hit? So here's a screech from behind

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Speaker 1: and turns around to see what's happening, and then I

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Speaker 1: see her, the typical chav mum, badly dyed, dark hair,

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Speaker 1: cheap hoop earrings, a big gymnast bag, dressed in a

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Speaker 1: dirty pink onesie.

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Speaker 2: Quite a description. That is an amazing dirty pink onesie

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Speaker 2: a dirty pink, like a like an athletic jumper, you know, like.

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Speaker 3: Those ones that's like, say, pink right on the bike. Y,

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Speaker 3: that's exactly what we're dealing with. Yeah, and it's like

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Speaker 3: felt yeah yeah, or like I know exactly the fake velvet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So she's looking straight at me as she gets

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Speaker 1: closer to the park, and I decide to ask the

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Speaker 1: kid if.

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Speaker 2: This was their mother big mistake. Oh no.

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Speaker 1: As I turned back to face the kid, she suddenly yells,

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Speaker 1: get the f away from my kids, you f and crab.

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Speaker 3: Excuse me? Can you Is it possible to add a

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Speaker 3: lo Okay? I fully imagine that it won't come out

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Speaker 3: perfect the first time, but I we're gonna try.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna try. You're right, we should. We should give this, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, I'll get that alphall away off from my get

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Speaker 1: the car. Tr Uh, what's British? Get the I'm all

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Speaker 1: way off from my fes.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's our get the way off from my kids.

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Speaker 3: You clip.

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Speaker 2: It's like almost Dracula. Yeah, French, get the way. I

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Speaker 2: could do a little friend.

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Speaker 3: Next time when we have a French Karen, a French.

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Speaker 2: Karen that we are ready for.

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Speaker 1: At this point I realized I am in for it,

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Speaker 1: and my friends tried to calm her down and explain

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Speaker 1: I was simply asking the child if he could move

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Speaker 1: to the dedicated kids park, which was right next to us.

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Speaker 1: Makes sense, makes sense, But Karen is still pissed and

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Speaker 1: says that kids our age we were barely sixteenth at

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Speaker 1: the time, have no right to talk to her much

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Speaker 1: younger kids. We said we would have gone to her

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Speaker 1: if we had seen her, and then she insinuates that

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Speaker 1: we are being creeps with her kids.

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Speaker 2: What if you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: Bro, These people are trying to freaking protect the kid

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Speaker 3: from being motive literal.

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Speaker 1: It's like, hey, we would to literally protect your child

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Speaker 1: from breaking their legs, and she's like continuating, goods, take

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Speaker 1: that that pink onesie to the grave, right and bury yourself.

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Speaker 3: Make get dirty, pretty, are six feet under over there?

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Speaker 2: Social distancing in the dirt? Oh six feet oh go.

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Speaker 1: We then retore that it's not safe for her kids,

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Speaker 1: and this is a conversation that follows, Oh well, then

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Speaker 1: why don't you use skates somewhere else? My friend Jay,

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Speaker 1: this is the only skate talk in town with them?

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Speaker 2: Oh god, sorry, I just got mad. Did you think

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Speaker 2: it was the kid or the It's like.

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Speaker 3: A ridiculous request and it goes skate somewhere else while

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Speaker 3: they're in the skate park.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, why don't you skate at the

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Speaker 1: kids skate park right next door so your kids don't

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Speaker 1: get goodness, my friend Jay, this is the only skate

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Speaker 1: park in town. The council built it specifically to stop

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Speaker 1: people from skating elsewhere and potentially injuring others.

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Speaker 3: I love that this British accent is like like the litterate,

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Speaker 3: Like yeah, very These are like sixteen.

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Speaker 1: Year old skating with like supreme and they're like super

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Speaker 1: park speaking the Queen's English.

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Speaker 2: Believe. I cannot believe this is madness. This is the

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Speaker 2: other one like make him.

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Speaker 3: They're gonna make you o make OPI yeah. I like

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Speaker 3: they were adding accents. We got proper English, we got cocky,

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Speaker 3: and then we just got a Lila.

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Speaker 2: Listen.

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Speaker 1: We just don't want to make sure your children and

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Speaker 1: is safe. There's a park who swings with the poper

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Speaker 1: slides instead of having them go down the ramps. It's

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Speaker 1: right there. This is the only place we have to

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Speaker 1: practice safely. I'd even be falying with your kids, staying

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Speaker 1: here as long as you keep an eye on them,

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Speaker 1: and not getting a white mate to this.

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Speaker 2: Entitled mom says fine.

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Speaker 1: She says this while she's blowing out of a cigarette

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Speaker 1: directly in the kid's face.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's second hand smoke.

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Speaker 3: You know that. You gotta love it. That's that's how

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Speaker 3: the cycle repeats. When Karen's blows secondhand smoke into their children,

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Speaker 3: you create more Karens. And I don't know what the

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Speaker 3: male version of bills or karen bills.

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Speaker 2: That's funny bills.

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Speaker 1: The males. There is no male Karens. We do have

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Speaker 1: to there are some entitled dads and yeah, we got

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Speaker 1: to keep It's the same same energy.

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Speaker 2: So op.

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Speaker 1: He goes on to say, I had been given medication

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Speaker 1: that I carried in a small pillbox. Remember he just

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Speaker 1: was diagnosed with cancer like the week before, op. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I poorly forgot. It was at the very beginning of

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Speaker 1: the background.

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Speaker 3: I got sidetracked by the autism, the smoking, and the Karens.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, he has a real mix of a yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is tough. So we had this small pill box that

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Speaker 1: it carried with him that he would regularly take with

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Speaker 1: some eyberprofen whenever he would feel a migraine brewing. He

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Speaker 1: also at the habit of keeping a few mints in

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Speaker 1: like the next compartment because the pills he would take

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Speaker 1: were disgusting. So he goes to take a pill, and

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Speaker 1: then Karen says, oh my god, how dare you take

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Speaker 1: drunks in front of my perecious children.

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Speaker 3: As she's blowing smoke ring over directly in her baby's face.

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Speaker 2: Literally, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: Freaking double standard and these this is medicine.

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Speaker 2: This is medicine.

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Speaker 3: Bro snorting coke off the rails trying to fix himself.

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Speaker 1: Oh good, miss voracious people people on this planet.

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Speaker 3: Oh you know, be funny. What snorting coke on a

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Speaker 3: at a skate park, off a rail would be called

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Speaker 3: railing coke in both.

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Speaker 1: Oh it is railing because I know lines, but it's

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Speaker 1: a coke, saying term, Well, there you go, learning something

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Speaker 1: new everyday.

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Speaker 2: Kids. Welcome to Oko.

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Speaker 1: Educating, Welcome to our street where we do rails of coke.

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Speaker 2: Kay, y'all.

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Speaker 1: Karen accuses Op of taking drugs. At this point, knowing

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Speaker 1: I am exhausted, my friend H takes the lead. H.

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Speaker 1: Let's see what should H is active. Be We'll give

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Speaker 1: both the friends POSH just for simplicity. I might get

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Speaker 1: my brain might get tied into a principle. My friend H,

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Speaker 1: this is just his medsine. He's got chronic migrant. Karen

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Speaker 1: cuts him off, b Ass, you chat more bs than

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Speaker 1: my nanny's.

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Speaker 3: But what what what is that?

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Speaker 2: What I saw fing? All three of you take them?

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Speaker 1: You're also fing disgusting doing drugs in a kid's park

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Speaker 1: in front of my fing kids. Bear in mind she's

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Speaker 1: spewing all these swear words in front of her Oh.

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Speaker 2: So delicate children. She's trying to protect.

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Speaker 1: My friend H burst out laughing, Bruve, there's a sweet

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Speaker 1: you mental idiot, Now please leave us alone. We were

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Speaker 1: kind enough to not purposefully slam into your kids, even

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Speaker 1: though you didn't keep an eye on them like you

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Speaker 1: said you would. You did the exact opposite. Karen, How

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Speaker 1: dare you talk to me like this?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: She pulled out her phone in a suggestive tone of

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna call the police, with a huge grin on

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Speaker 1: her face.

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Speaker 3: I love how Karen's are always They always feel like

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Speaker 3: they're so right when they take out their phones, like

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Speaker 3: I'm calling the police, like this is is You're only

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Speaker 3: you're doubling down on how wrong you are.

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Speaker 1: Also like, once the truth comes out, you're the one

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Speaker 1: that's like you wrongfully called the police.

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Speaker 3: You're raising the poker steaks and and they're gonna call

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Speaker 3: your bluff bro big time. We've we've we've seen some

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Speaker 3: big bluff, seen it flop.

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Speaker 2: We'll see if this happens in this one.

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Speaker 1: No. Meanwhile, my Migraine was taking a big turn for

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Speaker 1: the worst as I hear her in the back crowd

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Speaker 1: yelling loudly that she was in mortal danger around some

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Speaker 1: kids doing drugs. At this point, Op starts to puke furiously,

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Speaker 1: and the vertigo had kicked in big time. Yes, like literally, Op,

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Speaker 1: like he had a headache, sit, sit down, like take

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Speaker 1: a microprofen. Now he was straight up vomiting, Like it's

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Speaker 1: not going good right now.

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Speaker 3: Hope all over the Karen. I hope she slips on

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Speaker 3: it like into the bowl, but then catches a board

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Speaker 3: in and then it is like she pops comes right

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Speaker 3: back and she's like all I needed to do was

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Speaker 3: discover the magic of skateboard.

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Speaker 1: Karen Hawk out here as I'm puking, suffering from vertigo.

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Speaker 2: All I hear Karen screaming.

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Speaker 1: Is one of them is own d right now in

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Speaker 1: front of me and my kids.

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Speaker 2: Send an officer. Now, my friend's Asian j quickly come

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Speaker 2: to help me.

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Speaker 3: And at this point my throat is bleeding a little

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Speaker 3: bit from dry wretching.

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Speaker 2: It's so bad. I know, it's like really really good.

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Speaker 3: He has so many problems. It's autism awful. Karen's cancer

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Speaker 3: throat blood not break.

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Speaker 1: At this point, the Karen sees me puking blood and says, ill,

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Speaker 1: that's disgusting, and my friend H is now trying to

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Speaker 1: calm her down as it gets much much much worse.

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Speaker 3: What I like, whatever, whatever, we're doing the story, and

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Speaker 3: it's already just terrible.

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Speaker 2: It's about to get like why who when? Where?

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Speaker 1: She looked at my friend H helping me, throwing him daggers,

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Speaker 1: and then says, no, he deserves what he's getting because

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Speaker 1: he took drugs in front of my kid.

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Speaker 2: He can die for all I care.

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Speaker 3: Okay, wait, what is she trying to do? Is she

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Speaker 3: trying to call the police to help him or just

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Speaker 3: to like like what goodness, goodness, thankfully this isn't a

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Speaker 3: big town.

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Speaker 1: And the police were just around the corner, and they

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Speaker 1: arrived in soon enough time to hear the end of

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Speaker 1: this interaction. I pass out right as I see them approaching,

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Speaker 1: going on about her story. My friend Asian a policeman

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Speaker 1: were now standing over me while my other friend Jay

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Speaker 1: was trying to explain the whole story. H handed me

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Speaker 1: my water bottle along with my pill box, which the

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Speaker 1: policeman took to inspect in the compartment, and all he

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Speaker 1: found was iyberprofen that was clearly identified, and then the

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Speaker 1: other one were the tic TACs.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, man says, a pillbox for his stick backs.

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Speaker 1: At this point, the officer just looked really confused and

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Speaker 1: handed me back by iboprofen and watched me down an

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Speaker 1: entire leader of water before checking me over to see

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Speaker 1: if there was any injuries and if I was feeling.

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Speaker 3: Every time I hear like swallowing a pill or drinking water,

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Speaker 3: I'm just imagining the throat lesions from his cut up

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Speaker 3: throat from freaking throwing up like.

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Speaker 2: Ow gross, imagine a sore throat, but oh worse, wow, no,

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Speaker 2: thank you, no, thank you.

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Speaker 1: By that time, my friend Jay had explained everything to

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Speaker 1: the four other officers, and the other officers were very

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Speaker 1: understanding and patient, considering behind them was the most rate

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Speaker 1: Karen you'd ever seen, saying that.

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Speaker 2: We were high liars.

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Speaker 1: In the end, the fifth officer, who was working with

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Speaker 1: me showed the pillbox with the four others, and they

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Speaker 1: had found nothing else in my bag other than my

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Speaker 1: other tic TACs. I heard my friend Jay say they

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Speaker 1: were clearly tik taks to one of the officers, and

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Speaker 1: he took it out and put it in his mouth

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Speaker 1: and smirked.

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Speaker 3: He clearly knew we were telling the truth. Thank the Lord,

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Speaker 3: Thank God. Someone freakin has some set. Somebody has all.

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Speaker 2: Of this craziness. Oh gosh.

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Speaker 1: The officer then pointed out I did not look well. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'd imagine.

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Speaker 2: So crap, bro, this guy's got a bloody throat, and

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Speaker 2: he offered to walk me back home.

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Speaker 1: I gladly accepted that offer and made a big show

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Speaker 1: of offering all the officers some tick tacks as well

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Speaker 1: to freshen up the breath.

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Speaker 2: What if it actually is drugs.

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Speaker 1: Like, just get freaking blazed now, I'm not sure what

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Speaker 1: happened to the Karen as me and my friends all

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Speaker 1: just decided to just go back home. Get some rest

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Speaker 1: and duke it out with some super smash, Bros. Sounds

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Speaker 1: like a perfectness, sounds like a perfect night, good idea.

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Speaker 1: But the other four officers did stay behind, and I

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Speaker 1: think that Karen got a stern talking.

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Speaker 3: To thank you, thank you. She needs some sense knocked

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Speaker 3: in the are A few.

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Speaker 1: Days later, I was brought to the hospital where they

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Speaker 1: discovered that the supposed chronic migraines that made me pass

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Speaker 1: out were actually from leukemi.

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Speaker 2: Oh he cannot catch up, bros. Really cannot this.

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Speaker 1: And also how impressive is it that he's dealing with

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Speaker 1: all these things and he's out here.

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Speaker 2: Like skating, grabbing life by the wheels.

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Speaker 1: I can't even skate completely like fully able uncancered.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that sucks, op I, hope you get better. Same yeah, same.

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Speaker 2: We're wishing to the best room over here at OKAYOPI.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 3: And with that, if you haven't already joined the podcast,

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00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,480
Speaker 3: fam we're growing strong there. Make sure to subscribe, follow

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00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,920
Speaker 3: check us out TikTok you know, support us everywhere everywhere.

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Speaker 2: We're giving growing See next time.