1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: need advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:11,479 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter. It's Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,119 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know. 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: This one right here could be yours. 8 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 2: Love and hold on tight. We got it for you here. 9 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 2: It is Strawberry Letter. 10 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: Subject, Thank you nephew, because I just heard uncle. I 11 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: didn't hear buckle. I didn't hear that be subject. He 12 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,159 Speaker 1: moved her in to take care of me. Dear Stephen Shirley, 13 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 1: My husband and I have been married for four years, 14 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: but we've been together for twelve years. We've been back 15 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 1: and forth with a lot of our decisions. At first, 16 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: we didn't think we had to get married to make 17 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 1: our relationship work. I changed my mind and wanted a wedding. 18 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: Now here we are after saying we did not want 19 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: any children. We have a four month old daughter. I'm 20 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: forty three, so as you know, it's harder for older moms. 21 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 1: I went back into the office a month ago. My 22 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,759 Speaker 1: husband is a flight attendant, so his schedule is all 23 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,839 Speaker 1: over the place. He suggested that one of our good 24 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: friends move in temporarily to help us with our daughter. 25 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: She's divorced and in between jobs, so he offered to 26 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: pay her. I thought it was a sweet gesture, but 27 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: now I'm sick of her. Honestly, I'm sick of both 28 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 1: her and my husband, and it's only been two weeks. 29 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 1: I can't focus while I'm working because I'm worried about 30 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 1: what's going on with my baby, my husband, and our 31 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: friend while I'm not at home. There is a nice 32 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: day bed in our baby's room, but our friend chooses 33 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,119 Speaker 1: to sleep on our couch so she can watch TV 34 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: at night. She's more of my husband's friend than mine, 35 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: so I expected him to tell her to sleep in 36 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: the bed and not on our other furniture. But I 37 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: should have known he wouldn't do it because they sit 38 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: up all night he king and playing cards. I can 39 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: hardly sleep now because if they get quiet in the 40 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: living room, I go peeking there to make sure nothing's 41 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: going on. She is more of a problem than a helper. 42 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: How do I break the news to her that she's 43 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: got to go? How do I get my husband to 44 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:21,959 Speaker 1: be okay with my decision. Well, that's going to be 45 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,119 Speaker 1: a tough one because you said he's more your husband's 46 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 1: friend than yours. But what why are you acting like 47 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: this isn't your house and you have no say and 48 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,239 Speaker 1: what goes down in your house? Because it is your 49 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 1: house and you need. 50 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,079 Speaker 2: To speak up. 51 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: Your husband is not going to do it, obviously he 52 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 1: hasn't done it yet. It's only been two weeks. But 53 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: she's supposed to be helping, right. I think he's enjoying 54 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: it way too much having her there. And I thought 55 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: she was supposed to be helping you and with the 56 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: baby and stuff. What happened with that? This woman, this 57 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 1: friend of you guys, your husband's, has overstepped and overstayed 58 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 1: her welcome. I think you need to talk to your husband, 59 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 1: let him know that it is time for his friend, 60 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: she's his friend now to go because in the beginning 61 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: of the letter, she was both of your friend. Now 62 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: she's just his friend. The problem is she doesn't have 63 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: a job to get a place of her own own, 64 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: but I'm sure she has other friends and relatives that 65 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: can help her out. You're starting to feel very uncomfortable 66 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: in your own home, you can't sleep. It's true that 67 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: she and your husband are way too close for comfort, 68 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: and you shouldn't trust them. Whatever they call themselves doing 69 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: when it gets quiet, you should have a problem with that. 70 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 3: Steve, Well, surely back at him another home going to hell? Well, 71 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 3: let me see if I get fiction he moved her 72 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:00,839 Speaker 3: in to take care of me. Now, this letter has 73 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 3: a lot of contradiction in it, so I want to 74 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 3: say that. 75 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 2: First, y'all been married for. 76 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 3: Four years, been together twelve, back and forth on your decisions. 77 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 3: You didn't think you needed to get married to make 78 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 3: your relationship work, You change your mind. You had a wedding, 79 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 3: y'all both decided you want kids, You got. 80 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 2: A four month old. 81 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 3: Then you said something, You said, you know it's harder 82 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 3: for older moms. I don't know anything about that, so 83 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 3: I'm assuming it is. I think it's just hard being 84 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 3: a mom period, young old what hell? You just look 85 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 3: like hard to me. Hell, I've never really for their 86 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 3: joy being a daddy, to be honest with you, So 87 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 3: I would imagine if I'd have had the lady and 88 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 3: had his baby, and handy and mad. I'm mad as 89 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 3: somebody had to go through all this pain to have whoo, 90 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 3: y'all's really yeah, I mean really, that's what really gets 91 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 3: on a woman's nerve. You went through all this labor 92 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 3: and agony to have this baby. Now this even talking back, 93 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 3: What do you know what I did to get you here? 94 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 2: Man? 95 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 3: That's what women be mad about. And I understand that 96 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 3: because I can't understand that. 97 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 2: So you forty three. 98 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 3: So you know you went on back to the office 99 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,479 Speaker 3: a month ago. Your husband is a flight attendant, so 100 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 3: his schedule is all over the place. 101 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 2: Now here's his fix. 102 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,480 Speaker 3: He suggested that one of our good friends move in 103 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 3: temporarily to help us with our daughter. See all this 104 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 3: is joint, right now, our good friend move in with 105 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:42,040 Speaker 3: us to help with our daughter. It's all all consensual. 106 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 3: It's all. 107 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,919 Speaker 2: Joint. She's divorced and in between jobs, so he offered 108 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 2: to pay her. 109 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 3: I thought it was a sweet gesture. See what you did. 110 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,359 Speaker 3: You thought it was sweet. But now I'm sick of her. Honestly, 111 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 3: I'm sick of her and my husband. And it's only 112 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 3: been two weeks because y'all got a stranger in y'all's house. 113 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 3: But once again, though, before we come back, we gonna 114 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 3: get into what I keep telling y'all about these opposite 115 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:15,679 Speaker 3: sex friends. 116 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 2: I don't know how many times I gotta tell y'all. 117 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 3: But y'all not listening. Then it just it don't ever work. 118 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 3: And sometimes you learn sooner than later. It only took 119 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 3: you two weeks. So we come back. I'm gonna show 120 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,919 Speaker 3: you what the problem is, and here's a solution. 121 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 2: I have something right, all right, Steve. 122 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at 123 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry letter subject he moved 124 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 1: her in to take care of me. We'll get back 125 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:54,359 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening, Steve Hardy Morning Show. 126 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: Everybody knows what speed dating is, right, Well, if you're 127 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: the owner of a growing busines business, what if there 128 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: was a feature like speed dating only for hiring. Good news, 129 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 1: there is. 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All right, Come on, Steve, 139 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,559 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is he moved 140 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: her in to take care of me. 141 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 3: Well, and you thought you said it was a nice gesture, right, 142 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 3: But then it was a joint decision. Y'all decided to 143 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 3: move her in to help y'all decide to move her 144 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 3: in to help y'all with y'all's daughter. 145 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 2: Voice in between jobs. So you agreed to. 146 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 3: Pay her all This was discussed, Yes, yes, yes, And 147 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 3: you said it was a sweet gesture, all right. Now, honestly, 148 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 3: I'm sick of her and my husband, and it ain't 149 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 3: been but two weeks. I can't focus while I'm at 150 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 3: work because I'm worried about what's going on with my baby, 151 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 3: my husband, and our friend. 152 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 2: See what happened to the sweet gesture? Now? 153 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 3: I thought your husband's schedule was all over the place 154 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 3: because he'll flight it to but now you can't focus 155 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,559 Speaker 3: at work because you wonder what's going on with your baby, 156 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 3: your husband and a friend. Let's take the baby off 157 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 3: do this. That ain't what you're worried. It's two grown ups, 158 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:49,199 Speaker 3: daddy baby. Fine, You worrying about the relationship between your 159 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 3: husband and you'all friend. 160 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 2: That's all this is. 161 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 3: This is there's a nice day bed in our baby's room, 162 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 3: but our our friend choosing to sleep on our couch 163 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 3: so she can watch TV at night. 164 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 2: Well that makes sense. 165 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:12,319 Speaker 3: You ain't got no TV in the baby room, so 166 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,599 Speaker 3: the baby sleep what she supposed to do. She in 167 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 3: now on the couch so she can watch TV. Y'all 168 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 3: got a TV in y'all bedroom. Now, all of a sudden, 169 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:30,439 Speaker 3: she mowed your husband's friend and mine, So I expect 170 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 3: him to tell her to sleep in the bed and 171 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 3: not on our other furniture. 172 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,599 Speaker 2: Now, why you're assuming he should know that? 173 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,320 Speaker 3: You want him to have a problem with it and 174 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,719 Speaker 3: take on the problem because you got a problem with it. 175 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 2: But you ain't said nothing to him about it, though. 176 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 3: But I should have known he wouldn't do it, because 177 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 3: they sit up all night keykred and playing calls ain't nothing. 178 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 2: I don't know how to play nothing, just sitting round, 179 00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 2: just painting your nail. 180 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 3: I can hardly sleep now because if they get quiet 181 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 3: in the living room, I go peek in there to 182 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 3: make sure ain't nothing going on. Girl, you about to 183 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 3: worry yourself to death with this help at y'all have. 184 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 2: Is more. She's more of a problem than a helper. 185 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 2: How do I break the news to her that she's 186 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 2: got to go? 187 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 3: And how do I get my husband to be okay 188 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 3: with my decision? 189 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 2: Well, I don't. 190 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 3: I know a lot of married people, and sometimes the 191 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 3: wife don't how you feel about her decision. 192 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, sometimes you're just gonna do what she 193 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: wanta do. 194 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 3: But obviously you feel some kind of way because it 195 00:10:56,640 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 3: was y'all's friend. It was a sweet gesture. You thought 196 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 3: it was a good idea. Now that girl in there 197 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 3: wherein you have to death? They sitting there, key kid, 198 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 3: all night? How many times I've told y'all about these 199 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 3: opposite sex friendship? 200 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 2: How hard you think they're gonna be laughing until at night? 201 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 3: For one of these laughs turned into a sly smile, 202 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 3: And then that sly smile turned into a little hood. 203 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 3: Next thing you know, your lips rubbed against her lips. 204 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 3: Now you just slid some tongue out the corner in 205 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:43,439 Speaker 3: your mouth. Now where Now we're on this couch. Now, 206 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:50,959 Speaker 3: this couch is a daybed, a night bad and pull out. Now, 207 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 3: ain't so quiet in the living room no more? Now 208 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,080 Speaker 3: you donna walk in. You can't hear nothing but TV 209 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 3: right right, and to cover up the sounds they do 210 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,959 Speaker 3: cut on the Western channels, some cowboys and then and 211 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 3: there and they're shooting. 212 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 1: Yeah they and they're. 213 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 3: Kissing so hard and kissing so hard and grinding. They 214 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 3: don't even know you looking. 215 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 1: Whoa, she's got to go. 216 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 3: She got that leg up on the back of that couch. 217 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 3: You see what's about. 218 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 2: To go down? Yeah? With your friends though, remember that? Yeah? 219 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: Yeah? 220 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:34,720 Speaker 2: Lord? 221 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 3: So how do I get my husband to be okay 222 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 3: with decisions? He not finna be okay with this decision? 223 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 3: But you need to make this decision because saint getting 224 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 3: no sleep. 225 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 2: No, you can't play cards. You up all night, girl, 226 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 2: You can't focus on your job. 227 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey 228 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out this Strawberry 229 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app Free Never sounded 230 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 1: so good you can download it. Today you're listening to 231 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show