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Speaker 1: This is a headgum podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello, I'm Ago Wodham and welcome to Thanks Dad.

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Speaker 2: I was raised by a single mom and I don't

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Speaker 2: have a relationship with my dad and spoiler, I don't

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Speaker 2: think I'm ever going to have one with him because

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Speaker 2: he's dead. Yep, he's dead. But that's okay, guys, because

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Speaker 2: on this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who

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Speaker 2: are either old enough to be my dad or who

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Speaker 2: are just dads themselves. I'm getting to ask the questions

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Speaker 2: I've always wanted to ask a dad, like how do

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Speaker 2: I know if the guy I'm dating is right for me?

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Speaker 2: Or how do I even change the oil in my car?

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Speaker 2: And can you help me perfect my jump shot? I'm

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Speaker 2: so bad at basketball, maybe because I didn't have a dad. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: let's get into it with my dad for today. Steph

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Speaker 2: curR did just teach me how to shoot? I've never

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Speaker 2: known how to get a basketball. My god, so nice,

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Speaker 2: it's so great in the show. You're very kind.

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Speaker 1: You're so good in the show. Thank you.

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Speaker 2: You're very very kind.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but you know you're great in the show. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're like, I'm in my back. Yeah, I believe it

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Speaker 1: seen Steeler registered trademark.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's dope. I appreciate you man. Okay, So I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna do your intro.

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Speaker 1: Okay, do we have to do it right now? We're gonna.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to be here for No, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be care for it.

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Speaker 2: It is it uncomfortable to get compliments for you.

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Speaker 1: I just don't like it.

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Speaker 2: You don't like it, like hearing it? Yeah, really if

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Speaker 2: I did it would it feels like you're getting somehow

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Speaker 2: assaulted or your boundaries are being disrespected.

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Speaker 1: So I told you I don't believe in boundaries.

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Speaker 2: But it's just like you've seen today's guest.

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Speaker 1: No, don't do don't do that. No, it's what it's

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Speaker 1: in like our in Indian culture, it's just very like

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Speaker 1: like is it uncouth or just like not, it's not

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Speaker 1: you don't flex, you don't.

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Speaker 2: So in Indian culture, if your son or daughter is

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Speaker 2: a doctor and you're meeting up with an other Indian

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Speaker 2: family at at a wedding cultural meetup.

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Speaker 1: So you can academically flex, you get.

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Speaker 2: You could academically flex.

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Speaker 1: Nothing else merit based flexing. Yeah, So in a lot

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Speaker 1: of like South Asian and like Arab culture. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot of like evil eye, third eye, nuzzer, don't show

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Speaker 1: them this, don't whatever, Yeah all that sort of.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, but you can Okay, you can flex on accomplishments.

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Speaker 2: That's because I'm like Nigerians and uh Ola is a

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Speaker 2: doctor is a doctor.

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Speaker 1: But that's merit based flex that is.

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Speaker 2: But they couldn't be like she's a good person, like

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Speaker 2: but this is I'm going to read your resume.

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Speaker 1: Okay if you want.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you're on my show and I'm your Nigerian daughter,

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Speaker 2: almost said sister daughter. You've seen today's guest on Patriot

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Speaker 2: Act with Hassan Minhaj, The Daily Show, The Morning Show,

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Speaker 2: and soon you'll see him in his new stand up

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Speaker 2: special off with his head.

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Speaker 1: I like that name.

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Speaker 2: Please welcome my dad for the day. Hassen Minhaj. How

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Speaker 2: you doing good? Yeah, we really got right into it.

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Speaker 1: We got it was great.

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Speaker 2: That was good your vibe. We should really hang out

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Speaker 2: more father son stuff, father stuff. The i'd be the

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Speaker 2: father daughter. I don't know how to be a daughter

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Speaker 2: to a dad. And so then I like I tripped up.

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Speaker 2: Just there. I'm a great You're a good hang you

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Speaker 2: know that about yourself.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not a goober.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what's a goober?

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Speaker 1: Just like have you heard of the term NPC?

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Speaker 2: Yes, but like MPC making disco trick.

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Speaker 1: Like like like if you're playing a video game and

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Speaker 1: you're walking around sims.

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Speaker 2: There's non something and PC and producers know, non playing

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Speaker 2: care non playing character. I don't play video games.

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Speaker 1: I knew I'd heard of. There's a bunch of people

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Speaker 1: just like walking into the walls and that type of thing.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, Which you're not a goo, that's a goober. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and you're not that you're playing character, you're PC.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I have I'm a great friend. I have

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Speaker 1: a lot to offer and also a great perspective.

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Speaker 2: But I want you to be my dad today. I

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Speaker 2: do you think you're a great dad? Oh? Not as confident?

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Speaker 1: No, that's I can't. That's not for me to say.

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Speaker 2: That's one of those flexings for me. Is this like

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Speaker 2: culturally wrong, culturally wrong for you to be like, yo.

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Speaker 1: It's actually what it is is like my dad would

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Speaker 1: be like, I'm a great dad. Okay, So this is

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Speaker 1: more of like breaking generational trauma. I think of like,

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Speaker 1: don't don't say that that's not your.

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Speaker 2: Place under to say. There's other people that would.

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Speaker 1: Have a vote on that. Like when my dad's like

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Speaker 1: I'm a great dad, my mom would be like me have.

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Speaker 2: Some Okay, when you guys make eyes like, yeah, that

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Speaker 2: is mine, I don't mean to call.

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Speaker 1: No, I appreciate that perspectful. That is very cool of

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Speaker 1: you to do.

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Speaker 2: I should have called you.

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Speaker 1: That was very cool of you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I did that.

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Speaker 1: You knew that. You knew that's that's out of pocket.

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Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 1: I mean, no, it's just like wild, like I have

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Speaker 1: friends that are just like, my mom's a bitch.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy. You guys have to cut it out because

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Speaker 2: seem Nigeria. I seem like I always have raised right,

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Speaker 2: my mom raised me, right, you at the moment you

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Speaker 2: the minute I said I said, I can't call my

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Speaker 2: elder a mother whom. But it shows you how you

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Speaker 2: were I was raised right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you knew you were Like what did I just

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Speaker 1: and you like pulled.

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Speaker 2: I pulled it back. But anyway, your dad thinks he's

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Speaker 2: a great dad. Do you have siblings? I have a

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Speaker 2: younger sister, a younger sisters. The two of you perfect A.

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Speaker 1: Very successful attorney dope.

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Speaker 2: Oh cool. Your wife being is also very successful.

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Speaker 1: She's very sucessful as well.

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Speaker 2: I heard you talk about her on an interview somewhere

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Speaker 2: and I was like, cool and you you said you

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Speaker 2: married up or something SuperM right. I love that. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So does your sister think your dad is a great dad?

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Speaker 1: She thinks my dad is a very good dad.

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Speaker 2: Yes, okay, yes, what do you think of your dad

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Speaker 2: in terms of good? Great?

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Speaker 1: Mid Now that I'm a dad, I was, I think

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Speaker 1: that he is great.

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Speaker 2: He is a great Okay. So you're like, he just

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Speaker 2: knows himself. Why is that why it's so messed up?

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Speaker 2: Someone knowing themselves and knowing He's like, I'm in my

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Speaker 2: bag on this dad shit and he's and he's like,

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Speaker 2: I'm going.

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Speaker 1: To own that. Yeah. It changed when I became a parent. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's the thing. But that happens though.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we get older, we realize our parents

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Speaker 2: are people, and then you have kids. I haven't had them,

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Speaker 2: but you have kids and you're like, oh, hold on, yeah,

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Speaker 2: now I have a different perspective. What's some of the

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Speaker 2: stuff that changed for you in terms of your perspective

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Speaker 2: on him?

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Speaker 1: It was like, it's a few things. It was just like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: was he a great dad? I was talking to my

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Speaker 1: sister about this. She was saying, you know, and like

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Speaker 1: my sister because she's really successful, like she did she

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Speaker 1: checked all the boxes. Ivy League, law school, she worked

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Speaker 1: at a big law firm, and.

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Speaker 2: She's doing she did it all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but she was. We were talking about this

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Speaker 1: and she says something that I was like, that's actually

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Speaker 1: a really cool flex about dad. She can openly dunk

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Speaker 1: on him like I can't, but she can openly like

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Speaker 1: she'll unload the clip on him.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy. It's wild what she dunking. Tell me, like what.

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Speaker 1: Like she'll put him, she'll check him. She really was.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Has she always been like that?

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Speaker 1: She's always been like that. So she's a great journey

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Speaker 1: from youth.

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Speaker 2: My mom says, I should have been a lawyer, honestly,

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Speaker 2: And I think, as I'm constantly dunking on people and

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Speaker 2: I was dunking as your sister, and I should also

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Speaker 2: hang out.

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Speaker 1: You love her. She's great.

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Speaker 2: Okay, maybe I should dope too, Yeah should nobody?

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Speaker 1: Nobody in our family are like, there's no NPCs in

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Speaker 1: our familys.

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Speaker 2: People are bringing it, Okay, yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So your relationship with your dad when you were

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Speaker 2: growing up, you said it changed, it shifted perspective or

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Speaker 2: you shifted. What was your relationship with him like when

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Speaker 2: you were growing up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it was like there's many layers to it.

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Speaker 1: Because my dad came to the United States in nineteen

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Speaker 1: eighty two. I was born eighty five, so very much

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Speaker 1: when your first generation, it's like these are these are

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Speaker 1: kind of strange things. But if you grew up the

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Speaker 1: way we grew up, you you understand this. The first

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Speaker 1: is like you are kind of your parents' property, Like

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Speaker 1: there isn't an idea of like individualism there you kind

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Speaker 1: of it's it's almost as weird, like I felt like

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Speaker 1: I was like a samurai warrior where I was like

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Speaker 1: I cannot you know yea, otherwise I'll have to like

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Speaker 1: like take the katana blade and like put it through

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Speaker 1: my own stuff to be like I'm sorry for dishonoring you.

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Speaker 1: So it's like I can't act out of pocket in public,

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Speaker 1: like I'm like a reflection of him. And then and

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Speaker 1: then the second part of it is like like it

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Speaker 1: is draconian dictatorship.

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Speaker 2: So it's like you do live in fear, yes, and

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Speaker 2: by design. It's not an it's not a matter of

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Speaker 2: like I just was misinterpreting their energy. It was like

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Speaker 2: I need you to fear me so you will stay

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Speaker 2: in line.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And and they also like they they had to

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Speaker 1: do that. I understand it now. Like at the time

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Speaker 1: when I was a kid, I was like what, why,

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Speaker 1: why is it like this?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: But then as I got older, I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: they're the whole survival generation scarcity.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so like, yeah, yeah, I get it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, napkins from Subway, you had a crush pepper from Domino's,

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Speaker 1: and you had a whole drawer full of the drawer

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Speaker 1: to the spoons, just like.

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Speaker 2: The taco bell sauce. This right, you don't need to

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Speaker 2: live like this. We really don't need to.

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Speaker 1: We didn't need to.

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Speaker 2: Didn't.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever dated someone and you meet their parents

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Speaker 1: and you go it didn't have to be this way?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely? Yeah, absolutely, So growing up when you were saying

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Speaker 2: you felt like in fear and like why does it

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Speaker 2: have to be this way? Do you have any memory

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Speaker 2: of a specific interaction with your dad or your parents

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Speaker 2: whatever where you felt that where you're like, I am

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Speaker 2: so deeply frustrated right now. But it's like they wouldn't

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Speaker 2: let me go to the school dance, or I can't

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Speaker 2: spend the night at someone's house. What's a memory you

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Speaker 2: have of a feeling like that.

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Speaker 1: I just like they had to work all the time,

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Speaker 1: and so our house wasn't popping. Okay, you know like

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Speaker 1: the era. I'm obviously much older than you, much much

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Speaker 1: m much my dad, Yeah, my daughter's age, so like

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Speaker 1: that era of like I would call it like Clinton

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Speaker 1: era nineties American exceptionalism. Like our house was not the

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Speaker 1: sleepover house. Like I could not go to the movies.

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Speaker 1: I would have to like go to the Senate floor

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Speaker 1: and be like parents, Jurassic Park is in theaters the

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Speaker 1: number one movie in the country. I like, it's like

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Speaker 1: I would have to like testify before Congress to do anything,

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Speaker 1: to do any.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And it was like that's and then your friends

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Speaker 2: weren't having that experience.

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Speaker 1: A lot like my dad's the coach. It was just like,

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Speaker 1: do you ever do this for like okay, let me

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Speaker 1: just let me say this statement and then I'll give

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Speaker 1: you examples. Oh, now that I'm older, I realized, and

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Speaker 1: I was talking to my sister about this. Our parents

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Speaker 1: gave us everything we needed, but they didn't give us

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Speaker 1: what we wanted. Okay, So like I actually think maybe

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Speaker 1: the reason why I even kind of got into this

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Speaker 1: career and now kind of like live somewhat like Macaulay

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Speaker 1: Culkin and Home Alone is in Home alone too specifically

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Speaker 1: specific is like there was a lot of things that

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Speaker 1: I wanted. Yeah, it's like those are Air Jordan elevens.

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Speaker 1: I want those, the bread elevens, they come out every Christmas.

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Speaker 1: I want them, but I couldn't get them. Like when

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Speaker 1: you go to the movie theater and remember they have

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Speaker 1: that big rectangle like candy you know, Eminem's like just

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Speaker 1: a whole rectangle box eight dollars like this is it

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Speaker 1: was unimaginable, right, Yeah, so all of those things I

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Speaker 1: had so many, Like I want that.

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Speaker 2: Right But okay, if they would let you go to

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Speaker 2: the movies, Okay, if they would let you go to

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Speaker 2: the movies, they wouldn't let you get the eight dollars box.

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Speaker 1: Now was it a.

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Speaker 2: Matter of financial Was it a matter of financial scarcity

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Speaker 2: or was it like financial scarcy? It was financial scarcity.

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Speaker 1: Do you have fixed income? So my mom is a physician,

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Speaker 1: sure works of the VA. My dad is a state employee,

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Speaker 1: worked for the state of California.

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Speaker 2: OK.

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Speaker 1: So for like our parents, it really was for immigrant

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Speaker 1: and it's like this is you have this much money.

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Speaker 1: Every expense is just that going down, like the idea

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Speaker 1: of it growing of like abundant. This is not a concept, right.

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Speaker 2: I would say I felt simo, that was not I

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Speaker 2: feel now I indulge. When I go out to restaurants,

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Speaker 2: people are like I kind of want to try the calamari,

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Speaker 2: and I go, well, then we get it and are

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Speaker 2: getting are indulgent? I am, how do you know?

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Speaker 1: Just like you just have like refined taste. I do,

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Speaker 1: don't you was just like aspirational, finyl mix full down,

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Speaker 1: download all your photos, and mister I was just like

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Speaker 1: outfit fucking download full download. Was she go to the dropbox.

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Speaker 1: It's just it's just called like American Luxury dot jpeg

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Speaker 1: zip fucking download all of it.

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Speaker 2: Well, that was my character, Kimberly, But she wasn't far

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Speaker 2: from as seen.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like she dressed. Yeah, I just say I

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Speaker 1: would just be like I would. I think I've waved

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Speaker 1: to you like twice my up. But I was like, God, damn,

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Speaker 1: that's luxury.

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Speaker 2: Listen. I'm a bit just trying to live over here.

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Speaker 2: I really am, and I thank you so much much

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Speaker 2: and I'm trying to. But what you were saying resonates

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Speaker 2: so deeply with me because I feel like when I

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Speaker 2: was younger, I wanted. I feel like I was. This

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Speaker 2: is insane to say, but as a kid, I look

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Speaker 2: back at myself and I'm like, I had ideas, and

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Speaker 2: those ideas were good, and the things that I liked

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Speaker 2: and wanted to do that maybe someone wasn't letting me

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Speaker 2: do because I'm someone's property. I'm like, they were right

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Speaker 2: and they were good, and I want to I still

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Speaker 2: want to do those things now and now because I'm

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Speaker 2: my own adult, I get to do those things, and

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Speaker 2: so I do indulge. I love to indulge. And I

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Speaker 2: feel like you are suggesting that you too now are

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Speaker 2: like I'm going to get the eight dollars box of

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Speaker 2: candy at the Mede Theater. I might get two of

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Speaker 2: them because I can. Do you give your kid everything

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Speaker 2: your kid wants? Do you have a boy or a.

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Speaker 1: Girl, or have a daughter at a four year old son,

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Speaker 1: six year old.

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Speaker 2: Daughter, and four year old son two years apart. Beautiful?

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Speaker 2: How many years a part are you and your sister?

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Speaker 1: I'm four years older than my sister.

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Speaker 2: Oh really? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Now are you older than? Are you the older? I'm

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Speaker 1: the baby and by the time, but you carry yourself

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Speaker 1: with the older sister energy.

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Speaker 2: I really could have been somebody's older sister greater. But

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Speaker 2: I'm loving being the baby. I've loved I didn't like

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Speaker 2: it when I was growing up. I really like it

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Speaker 2: now or I especially liked it. Am I cooler then?

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Speaker 2: I would say?

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Speaker 1: Yes? Yes?

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, I think no, no. I have two brothers

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Speaker 2: and a sister. I actually think I'm cooler than There's

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Speaker 2: four of y'all. There's four of us. It's boy girl,

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Speaker 2: boy girl. Yes, that's the situation. No, I'm not.

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Speaker 1: The favorite, you're the favorite. I'm the favorite of my mom.

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Speaker 2: Because your sister is dunking on your dad all the time.

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Speaker 1: My mom's favorite with my dad is my sister is

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Speaker 1: my dad's.

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Speaker 2: Because daddy's girl is the thing, which is why i'd

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Speaker 2: have the podcast. I've never been any daddy's girl. I've

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Speaker 2: never Do you feel for me? You don't? Oh?

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Speaker 1: No, okay, that's fine.

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Speaker 2: I don't even want you to know. I just wanted

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Speaker 2: to see if you did.

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Speaker 1: And you were like, I grew up Nigeria and my

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Speaker 1: mom's Nageria, and I'm like, you're fine, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Actually yeah, yes, got it taking care of you, get it?

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Speaker 2: Because I'm like, truly, my mom boss got it taken

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Speaker 2: care of herself. She's one of nine lots of uncles

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Speaker 2: and then uncles by uncles by blood and uncles by

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Speaker 2: culture around me, and so I'm like, I was surrounded

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Speaker 2: by male figures who were lovely and present and figures

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Speaker 2: and loving.

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Speaker 1: Figures all around.

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Speaker 2: Had older siblings too.

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Speaker 1: I think, what's the biggest gap between you and the.

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Speaker 2: Me and the oldest are eight years apart? So you

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Speaker 2: had like a yeah, exactly two, I had three. They

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Speaker 2: all treated me my sister a little less, but everyone

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Speaker 2: treated me like I was their child. My brother and

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Speaker 2: I who are really close now, I mean emotionally, he

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Speaker 2: and I are five years apart in age and growing up.

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Speaker 2: I was like, this human man wants to be my dad,

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Speaker 2: but he really just felt protective of me. Okay, he

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Speaker 2: felt protective of his little sister. And I actually appreciate

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Speaker 2: that now kind of a perspective shift for me as well,

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Speaker 2: where I'm like growing up, I'm like, why can't we

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Speaker 2: be like siblings. There's a lot of respecting your elders,

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Speaker 2: even if it is just your older siblings. So did

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Speaker 2: I should have to respect you growing up?

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Speaker 1: Did you have to respect me?

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about. You have to respect

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Speaker 2: your elders.

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Speaker 1: And we would I basically cheaters are like my little brother. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's super funny. Okay, she's super funny. We'd wrestle, we'd

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Speaker 1: really yeah bottom her.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you what. I used to think that

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Speaker 2: I was as strong as the boys, and maybe I

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Speaker 2: was wasn't And I like, at twelve years old, remember

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Speaker 2: playing flag football with my neighbors outside was a bunch

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Speaker 2: of dudes, and I was like, guys, feel free to

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Speaker 2: actually tackle me, like for real, go for it. It's

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Speaker 2: not a problem. And one of the boys tackled me

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Speaker 2: was and I said, don't take it easy, full force

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Speaker 2: tackled me in the moment, and I was like, I

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Speaker 2: was twelve and that ship and I remembering like, okay, no,

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Speaker 2: it's different, it's different a little bit. It is different.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, maybe you don't tackle me, and

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Speaker 2: maybe this is where I have.

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Speaker 1: To Yeah, middle school gets kind of like all.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like okay, that that hurt and I

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Speaker 2: remember that. And then I was like, maybe I can't

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Speaker 2: miss I want to hang and I realized maybe I

384
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Speaker 2: should hang a little less. I should a little less. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: at twelve, I was like tackle me. I was like, guys,

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Speaker 2: it's fine, you don't have to take it, and I

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00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,639
Speaker 2: meant it. And then that he took it. And that

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00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,080
Speaker 2: kid was a little bigger than I was to begin with,

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Speaker 2: though he's older than the crew. Anyway, he was like

390
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Speaker 2: maybe fourteen, and he was like big for like a

391
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:42,040
Speaker 2: bralic dude for his age and size and anyway, I

392
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,440
Speaker 2: just remember the wind getting knocked out of me, and

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Speaker 2: I'm flashing memories here. Anyway, crazy it was. My brother

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Speaker 2: was not there because he was five years the closest one.

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Speaker 2: It aged me five years older, so he was like,

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Speaker 2: what seventeen, he was going to hang out? He was

397
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Speaker 2: going to kick yeah, not not me, kick it with

398
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Speaker 2: the sand like yeah, not at all. Now, did you

399
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,360
Speaker 2: have playful moments with your dad growing up?

400
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 1: No?

401
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,200
Speaker 2: No, none, whatsoever?

402
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 1: Does your mom have hobbies like I was gonna I

403
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 1: want to ask you this. Oh no, yeah, to be like, so, so,

404
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:11,959
Speaker 1: what are your hobbies?

405
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,359
Speaker 2: Like, what do you my mom's my hobbies? Your mom,

406
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,960
Speaker 2: your mother's non My mom worked and she works and

407
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,240
Speaker 2: she she kind of retired for a second and.

408
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,720
Speaker 1: Was like, actually, like what's happened? The news?

409
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 2: She knows, WhatsApp, the lottery, the news, always the news,

410
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,520
Speaker 2: The news is always on. Do your parents watch anything?

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00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're just their brains are fried because the internet,

412
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Speaker 1: the Internet.

413
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 2: So they're on the internet.

414
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 1: There's yeah, you know how like when they're like, the

415
00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 1: Internet is destroying our children, Like it's also destroying the

416
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 1: boomer There's like two groups of people that it's like

417
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 1: it's just cocoa, melon and Cian are just frying.

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00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,640
Speaker 2: Yes, but it's on in the house at all times. Yeah, okay, CNN.

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00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 2: If they're not watching CNN, they're on CNN dot com

420
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,639
Speaker 2: type type thing, BBC. Yeah, and it's just okay, okay,

421
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 2: got it. So what was your relationship with him? Like

422
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 2: you're growing up, I know you said draconian like dictator,

423
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 2: I'm your property. What you guys connecting?

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00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 1: I'm like working on this bit. So there was there's

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00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 1: there was very little connection. It was just like, hey,

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00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,159
Speaker 1: I'm doing stuff and you got to come with me.

427
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:13,439
Speaker 1: Like it was that.

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00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 2: It was very It's so like.

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Speaker 1: This was also something that I that was very different

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00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 1: from me and my friends. My friends would be like,

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00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,520
Speaker 1: I'm on the baseball team. I'm on the basketball team,

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00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 1: like my dad is the coach. And after that, I

433
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,679
Speaker 1: go to like my friend's house to hang out. Like

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00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,959
Speaker 1: they had all the they had their own life and

435
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,800
Speaker 1: they're like, my dad is at work and then he

436
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 1: like plays golf and I'm like, what what are you

437
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 1: tell talking about? Like your parents just don't work until

438
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 1: they're tired and then like get home, not talk to

439
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: each other and just like shovel food in them out

440
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 1: and they go to sleep and do it all over it.

441
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,240
Speaker 1: But yeah, they're just like, yeah, I would go to

442
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 1: my friend's house. I just remember it. Like all they'd

443
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,359
Speaker 1: be like, this is this is my dad's like record collection.

444
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: My dad's into Billy Joel. I'm like what yeah, and

445
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,919
Speaker 1: he's like he shares it with me, and I'm like

446
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,080
Speaker 1: this is insane. It's not. Oh.

447
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 2: I have to say my mom loves Brian Adams. I

448
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,160
Speaker 2: will say that when we talk about hobbies I guess

449
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 2: being Brian Adams. Oh big long time, big time Brian

450
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 2: Adams fan. Yeah. Yeah.

451
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 1: So anyways, so like that was very different, Like I.

452
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, so little wait what was the little connection?

453
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 2: The bit go ahead, the bit, I haven't figured it

454
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,360
Speaker 2: out yet, okay, but I wanted to do this thing

455
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 2: with like so when presidents get super old, this is

456
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 2: about to happen. Okay, So when Joe Biden like ends

457
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,199
Speaker 2: up leaving office, everyone's going to be like Grandpa Joe, like,

458
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you for everything you did.

459
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 1: And I'm like, same thing with like George W. Bush,

460
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,879
Speaker 1: Like he's a painter and look, yeah he drew like

461
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 1: a painting, you know, like for Hoda, Like he drew

462
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 1: a thing for Holda and like here you go, holda

463
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: and it's like we just we forgot everything right. It's

464
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: just like this like just roly Poly Jam an older

465
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:58,119
Speaker 1: Sufi poet. The bit that I'm trying to work on

466
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 1: is your dad was fucking psyched when he was forty two.

467
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 1: When Joseph robin At Biden was forty two, he had

468
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 1: that capital D fucking dog in him. Your dad when

469
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 1: he was chock full of unresolved testosterone, oh, psychot psycho.

470
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 1: So I've met certain dads now that they're seventy, and

471
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 1: they're just yeah, just these impotent pencils that are just

472
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 1: falling apart. I'll shake their hand and I'll just they'll

473
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: be like, Hi, I'm Thomas, and I'm like, oh, you

474
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:34,359
Speaker 1: were a fucking monster. Yeah, the things you did on

475
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: your trip to Charlotte, right, oh yeah yeah, yeah, like

476
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 1: I know who you were in nineteen ninety five. Of

477
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:45,160
Speaker 1: course I'm that age, but like soft, my Mozilla Firefox

478
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: is updated. So the things that they would I do

479
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 1: during that era, the rage that they would transmute on

480
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: other people, yes, yes, oh they were nuts.

481
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 2: Yes. Why did you go Mozilla instead of Chrome?

482
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,440
Speaker 1: I'm a Mozilla guy?

483
00:21:58,520 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 2: You use Mozilla?

484
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 1: Yeah? You know?

485
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 2: I love Safari, just gonna say it. I don't know

486
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 2: what everyone's beef with Safari is. I love it? Okay,

487
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 2: I just yeah, okay, good. I'm glad I'm not being

488
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 2: judged here. Yeah. You know what's interesting. I was thinking

489
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: about how we love babies, we love the elderly, and

490
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,479
Speaker 2: I feel like we expect everyone in between to just

491
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 2: be trash, Like we just decide baby's innocent. Old people

492
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,640
Speaker 2: you're at the end of your road, like and everyone

493
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,640
Speaker 2: in between, it's like fair game to ship on them,

494
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 2: to abuse them and whatever else you want to do.

495
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 2: So I feel like that to your point here, I'm like, yeah,

496
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,920
Speaker 2: your dad when he was forty two, it's a bad man.

497
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 1: It's a bad man.

498
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 2: But do you think they stop being bad? They stop

499
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 2: being bad because that your dad had.

500
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 1: A mustache, must hit a mustash for a little air?

501
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 1: Does he?

502
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 2: Is he baby face, fresh clean face? Now? Why do

503
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 2: you think he switched up?

504
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 1: There was like a six year run where he had

505
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: a mustache and it was intense.

506
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 2: But you think he was trying to intimidate.

507
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was like, why do you look

508
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,160
Speaker 1: like your highway patrol? Like it was like Indian Highway patrol.

509
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 2: It was kind of yeah about fashion and his Luke's

510
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 2: l e wks.

511
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: So as I've gotten older, I realized my dad did

512
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 1: have like a lot of dreams. He really wanted to Okay,

513
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: he was really enamored by American history and politics and

514
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 1: movies and film and stuff like that. But at the time,

515
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 1: like he was not particulating that. Yeah, so it's pretty cool,

516
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 1: Like now that he's older, Yeah, and I'm older, I'm

517
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: able to I have met them where they're at. Okay,

518
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 1: and this is very different than a lot of my friends.

519
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 2: Sure in what sense?

520
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: Well, there's like this whole thing in therapy culture where

521
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: they're like, you know why you need to confront your

522
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: parents about your trauma now, Like vox dot com will

523
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,680
Speaker 1: put out an article to be like happy Thanksgiving, It's

524
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 1: time to rip your mother a new one, and you're like, what, yeah,

525
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 1: that sort of stuff that very like hyper individualistic. The

526
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: world stops and ends at my feelings, right, and I

527
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,199
Speaker 1: need to go get my pound of flesh from everybody

528
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 1: who's aggrieved me and done me wrong. And I had

529
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: that moment Okay, I thought that. Okay, yeah, and that

530
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 1: went very poorly. You did you?

531
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 2: You confronted your parents, confronted my parents? How long ago

532
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 2: was that?

533
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 1: It's like three years ago.

534
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 2: Three years was so stupid. Okay. You had a one

535
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 2: year old at the time.

536
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: And a one year old and.

537
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 2: I got do math. Why can't we do math? Three

538
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:14,719
Speaker 2: year old?

539
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:15,160
Speaker 1: Four year old?

540
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 2: Four year old? Yeah, it was one year old and

541
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 2: three year old, T one and three? And what made

542
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: you do it? Because the because the vibe, the culture

543
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 2: was saying, it's time. Our culture here.

544
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,360
Speaker 1: Our therapy culture was telling was the time.

545
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 2: So what was that conversation like, Given how your dad sounds,

546
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 2: I am sincerely curious how the conversation went with your

547
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: dad specifically or did you sit them both down together,

548
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,400
Speaker 2: mom and dad? Just my dad, okay, just your dad.

549
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,400
Speaker 1: So I'll give you I'll give you, guys, the backstory.

550
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 2: Okay, go off.

551
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 1: Okay, here's a backstory. So and then, by the way,

552
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: hop in if you felt this way too, you were

553
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 1: coming up pre SNL gotcha.

554
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay.

555
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,959
Speaker 1: So I started doing comedy when I was eighteen, and

556
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: I didn't get hired at the Daily Shutel i was thirty.

557
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 1: So there was like a huge gap of years where

558
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: like I was not making any money, like W two,

559
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 1: W nine, life out here looking rough and and at

560
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,920
Speaker 1: the time I had gotten into law school, I had

561
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,719
Speaker 1: deferred my mission and then I had turned it down. Okay,

562
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 1: so I had kind of done like a long con

563
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: with my parents of like I'm telling you I'm not

564
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 1: doing this, no for real, I'm not doing this. Yes, okay,

565
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,440
Speaker 1: now this is like straight up going in the trash.

566
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 2: Like I told you all, you're my sister. Okay, keep going.

567
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 2: I'm my dad, I'm your dad, and like Prince, I

568
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 2: want to be your mother.

569
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 1: And then you know how, like the crazy thing about

570
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: show business is that you go from absolute dire straits

571
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: to like, wow, I have health insurance now, and like

572
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 1: I can fly back and see friends or my parents

573
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: and I will not immediately go into crippling death. So

574
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 1: some years go by, I'm lucky enough to do pretty well,

575
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, Like I put

576
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: my dad through so much they really did not understand

577
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 1: what I was doing. And so I was like, you

578
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 1: know what, like I'm gonna get my dad like a watch. Yeah,

579
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna get like I'm gonna get my dad

580
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,239
Speaker 1: like a car, and we're going to have this like

581
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 1: fresh Prince Family Matters moment where like TV Timba has

582
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 1: come back to like take mufass on a ride.

583
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 2: I'm stressed because life isn't a movie, It's not a TV.

584
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 2: We want to believe it.

585
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 1: I'm going to resolve this at three absolutely was it

586
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 1: works out for me. And then Act three I come

587
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: back and we have our whole like Goodwill hunting.

588
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 2: Moment, reckoning.

589
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, we reconcile whatever. Okay, So, like I was saying before,

590
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: for the sake of the story, sure, I'm gonna say

591
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: I got my dad to watch my dad's favorite thing

592
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 1: to do. And again this is this is understanding the

593
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: difference between the scarcity generation and the dreams generation. We

594
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 1: are living dreams, our moms, our parents dreams. It's like

595
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 1: a manifestation of her wild. Yes, it's kind of great.

596
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 2: It is insane. Yes, I was thinking that yesterday broadcast

597
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 2: television insane.

598
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 1: Her coworkers text things and then you see Wodem.

599
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 2: I flip out every once in a while when I

600
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 2: think about the fact that the name Wodem is on SNL,

601
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 2: the NW driving American people crazy. It's on SNL in

602
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 2: the credits. Yes, Chief Wodim's granddaughter on Saturday Night Life. Anyway,

603
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: go ahead.

604
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,679
Speaker 1: Totally and you're like on weekend up day and it's

605
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: getting like texted to her by a co work wild.

606
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 1: This is blowing her scarcity generation though. Yeah, so that

607
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: was a scarcity generation, and what are the dreams generation?

608
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 1: So you know, your mom tons of brothers and sisters,

609
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: my dad tons of brothers and sisters. I get him

610
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,239
Speaker 1: this watch one of their greatest joys. You know how

611
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: you're like, I love a vacation.

612
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 2: I've seen your Yeah, I too.

613
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: I just I just went to and thank you so

614
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 1: much to this at hotel for taking care of me.

615
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,199
Speaker 1: That's our generation, do you know what our like? My

616
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: dad's biggest flex is like going to Delhi seeing a

617
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: cousin of his or like a sibling, and he just

618
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: takes the watch and he just like puts it on

619
00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: the rest.

620
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, it's to give it, to give me the

621
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,719
Speaker 2: shirt off your back. It's you can have this. Yeah, yes,

622
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:04,400
Speaker 2: it's a real thing.

623
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,239
Speaker 1: And I was like and then when I asked him

624
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: about the watch, was like, where's the watch? And he's like, oh,

625
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: I give it too. And I'm like, wait, let me

626
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 1: get this straight. Yeah, I bought you this like beautiful

627
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 1: talisman that was the culmination of I'm not at this

628
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 1: point sixteen years of like work, and you gave it

629
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,640
Speaker 1: away to some uncle I don't even really know. It

630
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: was like it was so maddening. Anyways, I was like, oh,

631
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: I've talked about this in therapy. There is I should

632
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 1: I up front. And what you have to do is

633
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: you have to like tell people how you're feeling uh huh.

634
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: I'm so straight up at the Sacramento International Airport at

635
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 1: like baggage claim, you know. Oh no, I just spelled

636
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 1: it out. I didn't like yell, I didn't whatever. But

637
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: I was like, I did this and it made me

638
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 1: feel this way, and why would you do that? And

639
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: all I was trying to do was make your friend

640
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 1: uh huh. And then and then he's like my dad,

641
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 1: who's now at this time seventy two years old. Yeah,

642
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: he's just straight up in his like Kirkland signature khakis

643
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: and in his you know, zip up jacket with his

644
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: like delivery boy hat. I know exactly the look. Yeah,

645
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: you know book. And he's standing there at baggage claim

646
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: dropping me off to my United flight and I am unloading,

647
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 1: and then I just start he starts crying. Oh yeah,

648
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: I haven't seen this man cry since what like a

649
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 1: family member died, since the death in the family exactly.

650
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: And I felt this small. I felt so small, my god, yeah,

651
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: oh oh, And I was like, oh, everything that I'm reading,

652
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 1: everything on my f YP, the carousels I'm seeing about

653
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: confronting loved ones and setting your boundaries is.

654
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 2: Actual Sally fucking stupid. Yeah, liked this.

655
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: Man was born in early guard, India in nineteen fifty. Yeah,

656
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 1: he's come here, and I'm trying to talk to him

657
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: in cognitive behavioral therapy language about like a watch, I

658
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: got him. No, you meet him where he's at. This

659
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: is where he is. And then my boy Ronnie, Ronnie

660
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: Shang not trying to name drop, but Ronnie was like.

661
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 2: Are you stupid?

662
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 1: I understand all my friends that are Capital A American

663
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 1: are like, go off King. I'm like, yeah, Caleb, I'm

664
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: not talking to you. Donate to poor junk, Like, why

665
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 1: are we even from? Ronnie was like, you're going to

666
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: your dad for some vague mia culpa. He can't give

667
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Yeah, just know like him not

668
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 1: mentioning comedy or disappointment or what you should do. That

669
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: in and of itself was the victory. He's not going

670
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 1: to Yeah you've it's a whole new world we live

671
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,239
Speaker 1: in ego. He's not going to get.

672
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 2: That's what I feel like. I have friends who argue

673
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 2: with their parents a lot, and they're like trying to

674
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 2: change their parents went and I'm like Capital A American

675
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 2: or any other culture or not. I'm like they grew

676
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,959
Speaker 2: up in a different time. You know that there's a

677
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,959
Speaker 2: thing we have neural pathways in our brains and we

678
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 2: and those pathways are formed over time, and the amount

679
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 2: of life they've led to the amount of life they've

680
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 2: led is so much that the ideas that they have,

681
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 2: they're they're kind of going to be their ideas and

682
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 2: it's going to take a lot of energy and a

683
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 2: lot of effort to change their mind, change their ways.

684
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 2: And if you want to have at it, I'm like, okay,

685
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 2: but just know it might be who have you to

686
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 2: meet them where they are. Frankly, you are wanting you

687
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 2: out of your parents, and that's just not going to happen.

688
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: You grow up in a.

689
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 2: Different cultural context. You just it's everything is different.

690
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 1: And I'm you're much younger than you, but I'm not

691
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 1: that age. Why yes, Dad, I didn't get the I

692
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 1: didn't get the email. Yeah, subject line congratulations you're now

693
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: your parents parent. Yeah, it happens, I'm their parent.

694
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 2: Yes, of course, what did you do when you see

695
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: You probably.

696
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: Saw this with your mom and your older siblings where

697
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 1: they're like, mom, you're not doing this now.

698
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 2: Because I think my mom started mad young with kids

699
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 2: and like shes old.

700
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: Is your mama.

701
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 2: My mom is sixty seven. She's sixty seven. I think

702
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 2: it's hurnting sixty seven in November. Yeah, but I'm like,

703
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 2: I didn't expect to become my mom's mom because my

704
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 2: mom was always my mom. But then yes, you're it

705
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 2: just it flips and you're like, oh, I need to

706
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 2: take care of you. That being said, what did you do?

707
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: When he cried? It was it like we have to

708
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 2: part ways anywhere there's a flight, like.

709
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 1: Shout out to my mom. This is where just like

710
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 1: Indian mothers are incredible. Yeah, she basically pulled me to

711
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: the side and was like you do not get on

712
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: this flight, like you need to go over here and

713
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: talk to daddy. And then both me and him we

714
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: just cried it out like add baggage clam and I

715
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: hugged and I just said like, I'm really really sorry.

716
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 2: You shouldn't have done that.

717
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: Yeah the way you know how you did, motherfucker. And

718
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 1: then like fifty did.

719
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 2: I do that? And you felt so empowered though in

720
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: the moment, I feel like you're like I'm doing the

721
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 2: thing they said I feel but that the yeah did

722
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 2: he was he able to articulate what he was feeling

723
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 2: in that moment and why he was crying. He goes,

724
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 2: if I did such.

725
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: A bad job, then maybe, you know, maybe just a failure.

726
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: And I was Dad, Yeah, oh, I wish you spoke

727
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: in the I wish I feel like you could. Should

728
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 1: I would be thirty rock and we just be speaking

729
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: to each.

730
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 2: Other and wish I'm down to learn dude, no person, No,

731
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 2: I would be happy to don't know any that I should.

732
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: There's a guy that actually there was a guy that

733
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: was single for a long time, quite the catch, and

734
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: I was, yeah, you would you guys would have been great.

735
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: I didn't.

736
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 1: We didn't talk about it. All you could have arranged

737
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: that he would have been great.

738
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 2: Is he married?

739
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 1: He's not married, and there's still time. Yeah, I'm not

740
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: going to feel like I feel. And I feel like

741
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: you are a like successful, a very successful person, and

742
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: your bluetooth would be open to him.

743
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 2: Oh wow, thanks Dad.

744
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: Okay, so sorry, Well we were talking about my mom

745
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 1: ps aside and what he was she spoken about, So

746
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: basically I'll just say it and then i'll translate. Okay,

747
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: But he was basically like crying and he was just

748
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: like or is in the GiMA what more would you

749
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:24,280
Speaker 1: have liked in life? And I felt this big because

750
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 1: like you know how like in everything everywhere all at once.

751
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 1: It's that scene where it's like you just see like

752
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: all the iPhone memories of your life. And I was like, oh,

753
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: they straight up gave me everything I ever need.

754
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 2: You didn't need anything everything I ever need. But sometimes

755
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: what you want is literally not what you need.

756
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 1: It like all flash in front of my eyes, just

757
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 1: like it's like it was like braceist come and then

758
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 1: it was just like, oh, you let me do something,

759
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 1: and then you got me the Jordan thirteen's for and

760
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 1: then you and then oh you gave me the camera

761
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 1: is when I need a car and it was like everything.

762
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you like gave me everything I

763
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: ever needed. Yeah, you let me like pursue this yeah

764
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: with like no results for like thirteen years.

765
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

766
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: You let me marry my beautiful wife. You let me

767
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 1: do all these things where I have seen so many

768
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:16,320
Speaker 1: immigrant parents just will say absolutely medal, they're exact metal industry.

769
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,720
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I've seen it too. That's the thing that I've.

770
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 1: Seen of older Nigerian cousins that are you're obviously but

771
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: are like in their like late forties and fifties.

772
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't not like not not blood like.

773
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 1: The generation that's older than us.

774
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, they are fucked yeah yeah yeah.

775
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 1: Like when they like graduated at high school in like

776
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: ninety one ninety two. They look at you, Ego, there

777
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: is another like doctor Wodem at some Kaiser Permanente and

778
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 1: like Redwood City like that sees you in their YouTube algorithm.

779
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 1: That's like I could have been on weekend.

780
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 2: Updates then that's and they're just straight up.

781
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 1: A dentist in Walnut Creek and they're like, what the fuck.

782
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 2: I feel very fortunate to have gotten to do what

783
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 2: I do.

784
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 1: Oh not only get to do, but where we exist

785
00:35:58,520 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 1: in time.

786
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 2: I go absolutely absolutely. Even when you said the braces,

787
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 2: I was like, I called my mom like two years ago,

788
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 2: and I was like, hey, thanks for getting me braces,

789
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 2: because I also know that that was not insurance wasn't

790
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 2: covering that back then, and it wasn't a like necessity.

791
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 2: That was like kind of a luxury to have them

792
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 2: chains on my teeth.

793
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: Like it was really there were like these little moments

794
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 1: where I was like I remember sometimes they'd like pick

795
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 1: me up like late or something. They'd have to go

796
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: to work and we'd go to like Taco Bell or

797
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 1: McDonald's and they wouldn't order anything, but they would just

798
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 1: watch me and my sister eat.

799
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it did They not like Taco Bell McDonalds. Oh,

800
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,240
Speaker 2: it was just like we can't afford.

801
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 1: No, we just want to watch you eat.

802
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 2: And it's satisfying to see you bea.

803
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 1: Watch Why would we, like, you know, our income is fixed, yes,

804
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: like are we really going to get four extra value

805
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: meals like all eat dalchowel at home? But like let

806
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: them like goe a six piece chicken McNugget.

807
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 2: But that moment sounds pivotal in the airport.

808
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a pivotal moment. Yeah.

809
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 2: And at that point you had kids, you had kids. Yeah,

810
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 2: I can only imagine I mean, I can only imagine

811
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 2: you also maybe were like, oh shit, I'm someone's dad now,

812
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 2: and I don't I don't want to have this experience

813
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 2: with them. Yeah. I can only imagine you thinking like, oh,

814
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 2: my goodness, if I read my dad's shoes, how much

815
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 2: this would feel like utter shit?

816
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was like the arrogance of me. Yeah,

817
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: they were making the best with the variables they were

818
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 1: given at that period of time.

819
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, I absolutely do.

820
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: And so like, for sure, for sure, I go, you

821
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: and I are making mistakes that our children are going

822
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: to be like, wait what, Yes, you posted where you

823
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 1: went on vacation on Instagram stories.

824
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,399
Speaker 2: You created a whole paper trail. Yeah.

825
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like that's just dumb etched an amber and the

826
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 1: blockchain forever that I'm going to have to answer for. Yeah,

827
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, like, you have no idea, and

828
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 1: they're like, that's the dumbest thing.

829
00:37:58,560 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 2: Yes.

830
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: So like what I'm trying, what I'm basically trying to

831
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 1: say is we're probably making mistakes right now that they

832
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 1: will look back on and be like, yeah, how did

833
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 1: you so you guys would just drink out of Disney bottles? Yes,

834
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: knowing that the water tastes like plastic, And it was

835
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 1: killing important thing.

836
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,879
Speaker 2: About understanding cultural context in the time. People are yes,

837
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,280
Speaker 2: we are existing in this time, but before this time,

838
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: there was another time. And it sounds very rudimentary.

839
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to sound Kamla Hairs. Right now we're talking,

840
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: we're doing the coconutry. Don't do don't do you.

841
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 2: Just fell out of a coke.

842
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just okay, it's just great people based

843
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: on Yeah, the software update of where they're they were at. Yeah, yeah,

844
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: they're run running MS DOS. Yeah we're one version eight

845
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: point one point six point we're running a whole other thing.

846
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 2: I love this software update metaphor, knowing that there's going

847
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 2: to be several more software updates as time goes on.

848
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 2: Your kids are going to be older, become way more

849
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 2: aware of themselves, of the time of the your bullshit

850
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 2: frankly and things you've done that that they're going to

851
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 2: look at and go, that's fucking that's crazy. What do

852
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 2: you want to instill in them though, that do you

853
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 2: think will carry them regardless of the changes in cultural contexts?

854
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 1: Okay, So I was thinking about this. I was talking

855
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 1: to like my wife about this, and we were just like, Okay,

856
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,880
Speaker 1: the thing that we could probably because my wife is

857
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: Indian as well, I was like, we just don't need

858
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: to have fear and panic and scarcity be the driver

859
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 1: for like why you do something. So I think that's

860
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: a positive. But the one thing that we want to

861
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:44,720
Speaker 1: like still instill in them is that you do owe

862
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 1: something to other people. MM.

863
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,840
Speaker 2: Hmmm, like there is Hey.

864
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,879
Speaker 1: If your mom texts you, like, text your mom back,

865
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 1: like you owe her that. Yeah, like you you're not

866
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 1: my property, but we are a family. Like, come on,

867
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: you guys, we got to be here for each other. Yeah,

868
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I'm I'm really We've had a

869
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: lot of conversations about this where we're like, so, if

870
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 1: like fear, panic and anxiety doesn't get you to like

871
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 1: work for something, I'm like, what are other emotions in

872
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 1: tools you can use to like go.

873
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 2: After Yeah, I mean it seems like I'm hearing you

874
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 2: be like consideration is really important. It sounds like even

875
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 2: when you say you do oh some you do oh

876
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,959
Speaker 2: people things, if your mom texts you text her back,

877
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 2: there's a level of respect and reciprocity that you're trying

878
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 2: to instill as well. Now are there things you're doing now?

879
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 2: We've already talked about the software update, But are there

880
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 2: things you are aware of right now that you've gone

881
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 2: I fucked this. I have fucked this up as a dad,

882
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 2: as a parent. I think I think that was wrong.

883
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 2: How I handle them I.

884
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 1: Don't I don't have the answer to that yet. I

885
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: just know I'm just I've done. I have chosen to

886
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:08,319
Speaker 1: not do the things that I knew I didn't like.

887
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:13,320
Speaker 1: So like my kids, I do not yell at my kids,

888
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: like I don't use yelling as a way to get

889
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: what I want. Obviously, like the era we grew up in,

890
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,760
Speaker 1: you could spank your kid like I had never my kids.

891
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: That was like a thing.

892
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was, it was. It was a thing.

893
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: People.

894
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm going to give you something to cry about.

895
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 2: I wasn't spanked by my mom as a kid. Other

896
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 2: relatives might be have did spank me, but I was

897
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 2: not spanked by my mom. Didn't believe in it. And

898
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,439
Speaker 2: someone was like, yeah, and it shows. Do I've seem

899
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 2: like I wasn't spanked as a kid. Do I give?

900
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 2: I wasn't spanked energy.

901
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 1: We didn't hung out enough.

902
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a pretty well behaved person.

903
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,879
Speaker 1: I will say this, though. There is something like like

904
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 1: that is like so fascinating about why watching daughters fight

905
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 1: with their mom. It's nuts. When I see my mom

906
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 1: and my sister go off on each other and then

907
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: I see Bena and my daughter, I'm like, what is

908
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:10,479
Speaker 1: what's going on?

909
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:16,399
Speaker 2: It's like, well, we're using our words different wi fi.

910
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is why when the barbs that are

911
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 1: being exchanged are.

912
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, it can get it can get really intense

913
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 2: mother and daughter. It really can. But I think it's

914
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 2: because women tend to be better at communication. I'm not

915
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 2: saying what's happening is necessarily healthy, but there's probably just

916
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 2: words are flying, women are women be shopping? Women also

917
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 2: be speaking, women be speaking, and women be using their words.

918
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm I'm here to listen, hear.

919
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 2: I feel like if you use that that phrase, I'm

920
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 2: here to listen. You can never really get in trouble

921
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,879
Speaker 2: except when a woman's like say something, though. You can't

922
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 2: just oh that I dated someone who used to be

923
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,240
Speaker 2: like it's really interesting.

924
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:05,360
Speaker 1: And I go, oh, that's whack.

925
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 2: That's whack. I'd like, do not do that. You need

926
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 2: to say something. I'm telling you off and I need

927
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 2: you to say something besides, that's really interesting to hear that. No,

928
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 2: I hate, but I hear that, and I know you

929
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 2: hear it. Say something motherfucker, and I called you a motherfucker.

930
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 2: I got stop calling people motherfuckers. Maybe if it's a

931
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 2: term of endearment, this is can you say one more

932
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 2: thing to go off. I was like negative self talk. Okay,

933
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 2: this was like.

934
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 1: There is this weird thing that you've known this like

935
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 1: you're writing a script. It's like it's it's before rehearsal

936
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: or whatever, and you're like, da da da da. I

937
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: can't do this. I'm fucking an idiot, right And there's

938
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: people that look at me like what are you talking about? Bro?

939
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:44,879
Speaker 1: Like you're you're smart, and I'm like, I know, I'm

940
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 1: just a fucking moro on right now, and they're like

941
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 1: why are you talking this way? Like, yeah, you're not

942
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 1: a moron? Yeah, why would you say that? So, like

943
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: I definitely big up them, And I'm like, you know,

944
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: you could do that too. I can basically do what

945
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 1: have you seen on Sanders' Instagram?

946
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 2: Yes?

947
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could just be like the way he is

948
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: with his kids. Yeah, just like you know, God made

949
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 1: you in his image.

950
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,960
Speaker 2: Yes, you are, talk to me wonderfully and fearfully. You

951
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 2: have a measure of God.

952
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm like that's a choice too, And and so

953
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 1: you do that with your kids. I tell my daughter

954
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 1: she's beautiful all the time.

955
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 2: It's come to my attention that it's important for dads

956
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: to tell their daughters they're beautiful, and it's like, have

957
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 2: you heard this whole idea that it's like a dad

958
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 2: and his daughter. The first experience a daughter has with

959
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 2: a man is with her father, and if he's like

960
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 2: telling her she's beautiful and all the things, she'll really

961
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 2: go into the world believing that I didn't have that.

962
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: But I still think I'm beautiful and I'm talking inside.

963
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 2: I mean, you are stunning, Thank you so much, But

964
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:44,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, I feel I asked Michael Jay the other

965
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: day if I seem like a girl who doesn't have

966
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 2: a dad, and he was like, no, I didn't know,

967
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 2: and I'm like, exactly, but then he goes, but actually

968
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 2: his first response was like, what does a girl who

969
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,319
Speaker 2: doesn't have a dad seem like? And I go, you know,

970
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 2: you know, Hussin, don't look at me your way stop

971
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 2: it here. I'm here, I'm here to listen.

972
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: I'm here to know what's going to happen. I think

973
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 1: that you're twenty forty six is going to be like

974
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,279
Speaker 1: you really would just have full on conversations like this

975
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 1: with a laugh mic, like you're like the wa okay,

976
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 1: so y'all would just all hang out with each other

977
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 1: like it was the Watergate scandal, and then publish it

978
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: for the.

979
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:21,760
Speaker 2: World to awesome credit to his son and to his daughter.

980
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 2: I just want to say, look at your dad and

981
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 2: caught Dodge Dodge. I know, but look at your dad

982
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 2: learned from his experiences and dodge dodge the bullets. It

983
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 2: wasn't a setup. This is not a salacious podcast. But

984
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 2: I appreciate and respect your ability in this moment to go,

985
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 2: oh see, my kids are going to look back and

986
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 2: go seriously, you said it in the mic, and you

987
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 2: said that into a mic. Very good. I like that.

988
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 2: Do you want your kids to think you're cool? Does

989
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 2: that matter?

990
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 1: They know I'm cool?

991
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 2: Oh? They know? Look at it, and so your dad

992
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 2: is like that you're cool?

993
00:45:55,800 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, yeah do they do you think they to

994
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,719
Speaker 1: their friends about you? They don't do they They don't

995
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: fragtify friends but to their friends, but like their friends

996
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: will like their friends will be like I saw your

997
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 1: dad on Netflix. I saw him. That's pretty It's super cool.

998
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so cool. Yeah that is very cool. Way, Well,

999
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 2: you say you don't want them to be scared of you.

1000
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 2: You don't want to still use fear and panic. You're

1001
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 2: trying to use more positive emotions and that makes total

1002
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 2: sense to me. Do you want them to feel like

1003
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 2: you're a friend they could confide in? Does that matter

1004
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 2: to you?

1005
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 1: They already gone, they already tell me everything I need

1006
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: to know.

1007
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 2: And when you say everything I need to know, do

1008
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 2: you feel like they're withholding some but you you can deduce.

1009
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 1: It's interesting my dad, h I would sometimes lie to

1010
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 1: him about what I'm doing and he's like, you are

1011
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: lying to me, and he'd.

1012
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 2: Say it to you in real time, and you go, no, no, no, no,

1013
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 2: not not the bedroom ees to your dad me or

1014
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 2: what You'd rub your hand together, Yeah I'm.

1015
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 1: Not, I'm not. And then you'd be like, you're you're lying,

1016
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,959
Speaker 1: you are lying, and he would checkmate me. And now

1017
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 1: that I have a son, I'm like, yeah, bro, I

1018
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 1: know I know what your school samples look like daily,

1019
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: Like intimately, I know y'all, Like I know all their

1020
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 1: little insecurities and their isms and all that stuff. You

1021
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:26,799
Speaker 1: just it's the way you knew your siblings. You're like,

1022
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 1: you know what's going on.

1023
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, But when, by the way, you say

1024
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:33,800
Speaker 2: you know their insecurities. Do you, as a dad feel

1025
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 2: any responsibility to try to upend those insecurities and flip

1026
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 2: them and reverse them into securities, you know what I mean?

1027
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,839
Speaker 2: Because I feel like they're like you and your sister.

1028
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,240
Speaker 1: You guys are just different. You're different, and you guys

1029
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 1: grew up and you know this, Like there's four of

1030
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:53,720
Speaker 1: you guys, right, yeah, y'all are It's crazy how different?

1031
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 1: And you're like, how do we share the same kinetic code?

1032
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 1: But basically the way you have to be spoken to

1033
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: is very different than like your brother or your other sister. Correct,

1034
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 1: And it's just that. It was like, Okay, I know

1035
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 1: how to get my daughter on this plane. Okay, as

1036
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 1: we fly to California, I'm gonna have to use a

1037
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: different set of like hostage negotiation tactics with my son.

1038
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 1: It's just different.

1039
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 2: It's just that.

1040
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, I'm again, I'm gonna just meet

1041
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 1: you where you're at and try to like be the

1042
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: best parent to your person out.

1043
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 2: Okay.

1044
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 1: The thing that I grew up with, I don't know

1045
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 1: if you grew up with this, which is like my

1046
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 1: parents would compare me to other kids and they would

1047
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:39,319
Speaker 1: name that ship. No, I why can't you be like.

1048
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean a lot of I will say the immigrant.

1049
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 1: So we so got into blah blah blah. I need you,

1050
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 1: I need you to do that. Run that for me, right,

1051
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: she'd be like, he got into Stanford. Run that's that's that,

1052
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 1: that's that property. You know what to do? The family name,

1053
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: they would do wild. I mean I'm talking about like

1054
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,800
Speaker 1: the Wall Street Journal. Be like Mark Zuckerberg takes Facebook

1055
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: public and blah blah blah. He's like he went to

1056
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 1: college in two thousand and four. What's going on?

1057
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's up? And you're like it's like, bro, yeah.

1058
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, it's that type of stuff of like hey, whoa.

1059
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 1: He seems like you guys the same agent.

1060
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 2: So you're not doing anything you didn't like as a kid.

1061
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 2: So you're not doing that to your kids. Do you

1062
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 2: think your expectations for them are high? Though?

1063
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 1: My the with where me and my wife are high,

1064
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 1: were like, come on, I just need you to do

1065
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 1: your best. I need you to do your best, okay,

1066
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 1: and I know when you're like slacking off?

1067
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:31,800
Speaker 2: Okay, are you a disciplinarian?

1068
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 1: Though? Now my wife is my wife?

1069
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 2: You passed it off to peanut, Yeah, that's messed up.

1070
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 2: You don't care, No, I hear that.

1071
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: No, I hear what you're saying. So look, I would

1072
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 1: just say the way like I am a grizzly bear

1073
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,280
Speaker 1: to them, they're very small.

1074
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 2: I'm six feet tall as opposed to a teddy.

1075
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: Bear gri My wife is five feet tall.

1076
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:58,040
Speaker 2: Okay, so just like again your wife, my.

1077
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 1: Mom, Yeah, the yes, Like I remember growing up my

1078
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 1: dad is a was a giant, and just keeping that

1079
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:10,360
Speaker 1: in mind.

1080
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 2: I see what you're just saying.

1081
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 1: Huge, I'm like fuzzy, you know what I mean. I'm

1082
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:18,239
Speaker 1: talking around in like a Haines tank top.

1083
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:22,319
Speaker 2: I'm gigantic, right yeah, So okay, I see what you're doing.

1084
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 2: Do you think that's also just kind of convenient for

1085
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 2: you in a sense, Like I'm big, so I can

1086
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 2: say I'm big and I don't have to do the discipline.

1087
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 2: So like if you were five to seven, uh huh,

1088
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:37,359
Speaker 2: not that, I mean, that's a little that's not it's short. Yeah,

1089
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:38,919
Speaker 2: it's short. I was trying to be pullite. It's short

1090
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,720
Speaker 2: for me. Okay, So if you're five to seven venus

1091
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 2: five feet, if you're five seven, do you think you

1092
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 2: would be a disciplinary It's not just or is that

1093
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:46,279
Speaker 2: not your bag?

1094
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,240
Speaker 1: Maybe? Maybe it would be like, I'm less scary.

1095
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:53,279
Speaker 2: Okay, but your mind, well they got a little Napoleon

1096
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 2: syndrome going on, and you gotta you gotta exert yourself

1097
00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:01,400
Speaker 2: and yeah, any rabbit exactly. Okay, No, okay, listen, this

1098
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 2: has been amazing. I need to tell you, as my

1099
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 2: dad for the day, the reason I brought you on

1100
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 2: is and it's not just only the reason I brought

1101
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 2: you on. It's part of the reason I brought you on.

1102
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 2: But part of your responsibility is my dad for the

1103
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 2: day is to give me a piece of advice. So

1104
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you something going on in my life,

1105
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:20,800
Speaker 2: and I'm going to get advice from you on it. Okay.

1106
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 2: So I've been riding in Ubers in the city, Dad,

1107
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 2: I've been riding in ubers in the city. And I

1108
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 2: used to drive in La. I had a car. I

1109
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 2: lived in la for twelve years. I knew how to like,

1110
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 2: I knew how to shave like five minutes off the

1111
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 2: ETA according to ways. I'm in a rush and I'm

1112
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 2: kind of from time to time like, oh, can you

1113
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 2: maybe get us out of this lane? And I'm like, girl,

1114
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:46,879
Speaker 2: don't be a backseat driver. Don't be a backstreet driver.

1115
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 2: Should I get a car in New York City? Or

1116
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 2: is that insane?

1117
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 1: And get a car New York City?

1118
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 2: Okay?

1119
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 1: Can I give you like four things right now?

1120
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 2: Tell me right now?

1121
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 1: For so, I was thinking about it to the podcast

1122
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 1: because I want you. I want you to be like

1123
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 1: very successful.

1124
00:51:58,480 --> 00:51:59,879
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you, get me for thanks.

1125
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,919
Speaker 1: And I want to minimize it, make it super short.

1126
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 2: Okay.

1127
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 1: Do you have your money in a Vanguard account?

1128
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 2: What is that?

1129
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 1: Okay? Oh whatever extra money you're making okay, okay, for

1130
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 1: mister throwback and all that stuff and other things, I

1131
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 1: need you to go to Vanguard Vanguard okay, and need

1132
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 1: to buy VTSA X. I'm writing it, which is which

1133
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 1: is like the S and P five hundred. I need

1134
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 1: you to put money into.

1135
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 2: Saying so many letters. It's going to be on record.

1136
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 2: I have to listen back. I was going to take no.

1137
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: Time, and you to just set it aside. Do not

1138
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 1: listen to your agents, manager or accountant that's going to

1139
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 1: try to hook you up with other people. Okay, and

1140
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 1: you can put that aside.

1141
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:36,320
Speaker 2: Okay.

1142
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: And every ten years the rate of return for the

1143
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 1: S and P five hundred of the past one hundreds plus years.

1144
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 1: This isn't crazy advice, is it not. I'm not telling

1145
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: you to buy crypto. No, no, no, it will double

1146
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 1: every ten years. But in twenty years, yes, it'll like

1147
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:50,760
Speaker 1: you will see the value of exponential return. Okay, thirty

1148
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,919
Speaker 1: years okay, so like after this whole industry betrays us,

1149
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 1: and which it will, and I will be here as

1150
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 1: your father.

1151
00:52:57,760 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 2: I get.

1152
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 1: Oh my god, but none of that ship on the

1153
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 1: call sheet is real. Okay, I'm realer than the sag

1154
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 1: after a fund. Okay, but that VTSAX that you've held

1155
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:10,280
Speaker 1: for twenty to thirty years, I'm being dead.

1156
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 2: I know, seriously feel it, and I'm my whole body

1157
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:13,399
Speaker 2: will change.

1158
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 1: It is going to change your life. It'll allow you

1159
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 1: to retire with dignity, and thirty years from now, you

1160
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:21,720
Speaker 1: will not be doing cameos for people's birthday parties. Okay,

1161
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: I am. This is how much I love and care

1162
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 1: about you as my child. Dad.

1163
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1164
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 1: This is real than anything you've gotten in your career.

1165
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 2: This is why you need a dad America? Or is

1166
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 2: this the global podcast? This is why you need a dad? People?

1167
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:39,399
Speaker 1: Yeah? Do you already know this? Other one? But I've

1168
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: told you this is the second one that I was

1169
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 1: going to tell you the cause of dad of advice. Please,

1170
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:42,880
Speaker 1: but you already know that.

1171
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:49,399
Speaker 2: Tell me, tell me that's Spanish, tell me in Nindi much.

1172
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 2: I'm working, but.

1173
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 1: I'll give you one in India that's really quick if

1174
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 1: you just do use it all the time when we

1175
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 1: go to India our trip, Okay, on our trip, Cello,

1176
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 1: let's go, let's go, let's go.

1177
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 2: That's what I mean.

1178
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:04,399
Speaker 1: Let's so if you're like in a cab or whatever

1179
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 1: in my in.

1180
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 2: My family's language, let's go. Is manga okay, yeah, manga, yeah,

1181
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 2: something like that. It's a little different.

1182
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, wait, so one you want to know this.

1183
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 1: You have a ton of confidence. But you are You

1184
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 1: have the whole thing and the side of the potato

1185
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 1: chips the way you are right now.

1186
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, dad, Thank you, thank you. It's

1187
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 2: important for you to hear your dad say this to you.

1188
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 2: And I never had this. You're healing me right now.

1189
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 1: Thank you. You're him, Yeah, I'm him, You're.

1190
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 2: I'm her, I'm her me, I'm her.

1191
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:45,920
Speaker 1: Okay, but you already knew that. You already knew that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1192
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:46,839
Speaker 1: but this is the thing.

1193
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 2: The reason I already knew that. It's part of why

1194
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 2: I say I don't seem like a fatherless gal.

1195
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1196
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 2: Part of it is because I know I'm her, but

1197
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 2: also I need sometimes I do need a dad to

1198
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 2: affirm me. So thank you for affirming and reminding me,

1199
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 2: just in case, because you know there's a threats to

1200
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,440
Speaker 2: that confidence. You know, people trying to poke holes here

1201
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:03,799
Speaker 2: and there.

1202
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 1: You know, people trying to see you when you're number

1203
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 1: one on the costume and you're like, I am number one.

1204
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 2: I go to the a d I'm like, oh, I

1205
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 2: feel like there's a mistake. Okay, that was too. Thank

1206
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 2: you so much, hold it for life? And then what

1207
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 2: else is that? Just was it for? Don't buy a

1208
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 2: car anything else. You don't have to have more because

1209
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 2: ending with I'm her.

1210
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 1: Is is the business. You stay prayed up a smart mon.

1211
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:36,759
Speaker 2: Totally. Yeah, I'm a stay I stay prayed up. I

1212
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 2: pray every morning and sometimes throughout the day, sometimes that

1213
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 2: night as well. Yeah, are you proud of me?

1214
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,320
Speaker 1: Dad? I'm super proud of you, you know, and you know,

1215
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: as a Muslim family we pray five times a day.

1216
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: I know you're doing your best. I'm doing my best.

1217
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 2: You're not God. You can't judge me. He made me,

1218
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:56,360
Speaker 2: She made me. They made me perfectly in their and

1219
00:55:56,360 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 2: and I'm trying my best and and gracious as.

1220
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 1: You've gotten older. Yes, it's not even for God. It's

1221
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 1: for you, friend.

1222
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 2: That's facts.

1223
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 1: There you go, that's facts.

1224
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 2: And the MIC's dropped on that note. And my dad

1225
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 2: for the day has been Hassan Minhaj And I'm so

1226
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:13,400
Speaker 2: happy about it.

1227
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:17,279
Speaker 1: I'm her. I'm gonna thank you guys, Thanks so yeah.

1228
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 2: Thankstad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me

1229
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,760
Speaker 2: Aga Wodhem. The show is produced and edited by Anita

1230
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 2: Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Kanevskaya, with

1231
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 2: executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of

1232
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:36,319
Speaker 2: Content at Headgum. Special thanks to Jason Atheni for our

1233
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 2: show art and Faris Manshi for our theme song. From

1234
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 2: your podcast by Headgum, visit headgum dot com or wherever

1235
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 2: you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review

1236
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 2: on Apple Podcasts, and maybe, just maybe we'll read it

1237
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:51,480
Speaker 2: on a future episode.