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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: We could be reading your letter live on the.

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Speaker 1: Air, just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now, and you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 3: It could be yours. Muggle up, hold on tight, We

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Speaker 3: got it for you. Here it ease, Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for you subject My House, My rules. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, I've been married for four years and I

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Speaker 1: just had my first child at age forty. My husband

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Speaker 1: has two children from a previous marriage. When I came

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Speaker 1: home with the baby, he had his two children at

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Speaker 1: my house and it was a mess. His son is

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Speaker 1: fourteen and his daughter is eleven. My husband said they're

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Speaker 1: not used to cleaning up, so he would get to it.

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Speaker 1: His entitled children have a housekeeper at their main home

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Speaker 1: with their mom so they don't have to lift a finger.

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Speaker 1: I didn't speak to him for days because the house

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Speaker 1: was filthy, and he shouldn't have me and our newborn

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Speaker 1: daughter come home to filth. I told his ex wife

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Speaker 1: that she should start now. It's not too late to

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Speaker 1: give the kids basic chores around the home. She agreed,

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Speaker 1: but she said the children complain when they're tired or

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Speaker 1: want to be with their friends instead of cleaning up.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't that concerned about what goes on at her house,

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Speaker 1: but I told her they need to be ready to

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Speaker 1: keep my house clean when they're visiting us. Then she

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Speaker 1: got testy and said they're not visiting, they live at

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Speaker 1: my house too. I reminded her that her ex husband

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Speaker 1: moved into my home, so they are still guests in

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Speaker 1: my home when they come over. She called my husband,

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Speaker 1: and I was irritated that he even took the time

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Speaker 1: to hear her out, and even more irritated that he

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Speaker 1: said he was offended by what I told his ex wife.

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Speaker 1: I told him that by all means, his children are welcome,

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Speaker 1: but it's still my home and all of my household

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Speaker 1: rules apply, so the kids will be cleaning up behind

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Speaker 1: themselves over here. Why are he and his ex one

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Speaker 1: against instilling the values of cleanliness and their kids. Am

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Speaker 1: I out of line for how I want to run

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Speaker 1: my house? Help me understand, all right? I blame your

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Speaker 1: husband for this mess. I really do and know you're

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Speaker 1: not wrong. The kids should know how to at least

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Speaker 1: clean up after themselves eleven and fourteen, Even if they

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Speaker 1: do have a housekeeper at their mom's house, they should

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Speaker 1: know the basics, and that's on the parents to teach them.

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Speaker 1: You're also right that at eleven and fourteen, it's not

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Speaker 1: too late to teach them just the basic stuff. Your

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Speaker 1: husband dropped the ball, and his ex resents what you

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Speaker 1: said about her precious messy babies. She does, yes her house,

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Speaker 1: but if her ex husband is living there with the kids,

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Speaker 1: it's all of you guys's house, and you have rules

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Speaker 1: that were in place before all of them got there.

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Speaker 1: Your husband should not only side with you against her,

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Speaker 1: but he shouldn't want his brand new baby to come

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Speaker 1: home to a nasty house. I mean, what sense does

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Speaker 1: that make. All is not lost because you said they

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Speaker 1: are welcome. You and your husband need to be on

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Speaker 1: the same page though. That's the only way your planning

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Speaker 1: to give them chores, and I'm sure it's going to

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Speaker 1: be light chores. That's the only way it's gonna work.

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Speaker 1: They need to learn to respect their home wherever it is,

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Speaker 1: if it's with their mom if it's at your house

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Speaker 1: with their dad, and for that you need your husband's support.

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Speaker 2: So hopefully he'll give it to you. Hopefully he'll give

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Speaker 2: it to you.

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Speaker 3: Tommy, all right, y'all know how I am about cleansiness.

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Speaker 4: So I'm gonna say this.

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Speaker 3: Yes, cleansiness next to god lindliness. Yes, yes, my own creations.

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Speaker 3: I hate to say this, and then I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I'm being petty. You need to leave

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Speaker 3: his nasty ass. That's what you need to do. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 3: I am sorry. He nasty, the kids is nasty. Wife

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Speaker 3: is nasty. And if your new baby get around any

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Speaker 3: of them, your baby girl gonna be nasty. You need

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Speaker 3: to get out while you can. You farty. You forty

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Speaker 3: years old. You ain't got time to raise these damn kids.

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Speaker 3: At forty you got you got a brand new babe.

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Speaker 3: This is your first child. You ain't got time to

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Speaker 3: deal with these other two kids. They nasty. Okay, so

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Speaker 3: we can we can try this if you want. And

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Speaker 3: the problem I really got he offended. He offended by

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Speaker 3: the way you talk to his ex wife. I don't care.

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Speaker 3: I think you need to get out of this relationship.

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Speaker 3: That's what I think. I'm sorry if you call me petty,

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Speaker 3: if you want to call me petty, You're not gonna

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Speaker 3: be able to change these kids, because guess what, they

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Speaker 3: don't want to change their children. They don't want to

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Speaker 3: change their children. They are letting their children do whatever

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Speaker 3: they want. They raising them that way. You're not gonna

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Speaker 3: be able to do it. Just when the times that

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Speaker 3: they come over to your house, and you already saying,

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Speaker 3: when they come over here, they're gonna have to do this,

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Speaker 3: do this, and that. He gonna fight you on it,

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Speaker 3: the kids gonna fight you on it. The mama gonna

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Speaker 3: be over there tripping from across the way. You do

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Speaker 3: not have time. You are forty, Get out night, you

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Speaker 3: and your baby, get out, put these people out your house,

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Speaker 3: change your locks, and be done with it. That's what

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Speaker 3: I'm saying. We got to get a divorce and get

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Speaker 3: these people out of it. We can't do nasty. Well, I

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Speaker 3: just I don't do nasty. We got to get them

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Speaker 3: out of this house.

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Speaker 4: We do not.

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Speaker 3: They don't live here no more. Let's get a divorce

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Speaker 3: from this man, start over, have your child, raise your

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Speaker 3: baby by yourself, and get you. Get you what surely,

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Speaker 3: surely we can't. We just not finding out how nasty.

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Speaker 3: His asked, Well, we didn't know it. We didn't know it.

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Speaker 3: But as soon as we came home from the hospital,

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Speaker 3: these kids in told this house up. And he ain't

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Speaker 3: helped do nothing either. So what we finna do.

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Speaker 4: We got to get rid of this man. This man

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Speaker 4: got to go.

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Speaker 3: Your relationship ain't finna be the same he fins to.

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Speaker 3: He finds to be nasty more than what you thought.

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Speaker 3: Now it's all coming out. See one thing I learned

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Speaker 3: about nasty. You can't hold it back. It's gonna show up.

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Speaker 4: It do. You can't. You can't.

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Speaker 3: You can't keep nasty down. Nasty gonna show up, whether

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Speaker 3: it's in the bathroom, the garage, the kitchen and these

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Speaker 3: kids been room. Nasty gonna show up every single time

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Speaker 3: you It ain't long. It ain't like you can't suppress nasty.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna show up. So all you gotta do, baby,

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Speaker 3: is get your mind together and say you know what, Tommy,

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Speaker 3: Tommy is right, I'm finna give my baby. We're finna

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Speaker 3: put these people out of our house. And that's it.

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Speaker 3: If you want to stick to sit there and deal

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Speaker 3: with it. All I can say is, whoop everybody ass.

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Speaker 3: You gotta whoop these kids ass who their mama as?

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Speaker 3: Whoop the kids ass who their mama as? If you

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Speaker 3: want to stay that with it. If you want to

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Speaker 3: stay that with you gott to whoop everybody ass and

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Speaker 3: start from scrap.

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Speaker 4: Now, I said, get out. That's just me all right?

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Speaker 1: All right, Uh, we'll have part two of today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We'll get some response from Junior coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subject my house,

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Speaker 1: My Rules. We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 4: I asked, what becase whoop can't solve everything?

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Speaker 5: Okay, you're listening hard Morning show. All right, we're gonna

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Speaker 5: recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is my house, my rules.

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Speaker 5: Forty year old woman wrote in she just had a

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Speaker 5: baby at the age of forty. She's been married for

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Speaker 5: four years to her husband, who has two children from

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Speaker 5: his previous marriage. Now, when this woman came home with

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Speaker 5: her baby, brand newborn, brand new newborn baby, she came

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Speaker 5: in the house was filthy. Now you got the husband

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Speaker 5: and who his two kids eleven and fourteen staying there

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Speaker 5: they didn't have the sense to clean the house up

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Speaker 5: when the mom was coming with the new baby.

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Speaker 1: So the husband told her that the kids aren't used

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Speaker 1: to cleaning up, but the husband could have handled it.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, she called his children entitled.

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Speaker 1: They have a housekeeper at their house, so they don't

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Speaker 1: clean up over there. The parents didn't teach them to

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Speaker 1: clean up. But you know, you should know the basics.

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Speaker 1: She's saying, just basic tourers at home. She's blaming that

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Speaker 1: on the parents. She called the mom and told her

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Speaker 1: that her kids should know that, and you know the mom.

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Speaker 1: The mom got a little irritated because she said that

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Speaker 1: the kids are messy and they don't, you know, clean

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Speaker 1: up over there. So she called the husband, her ex husband,

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Speaker 1: and that irritated the new wife. So she told the husband,

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Speaker 1: by all means, his children are welcome at the house,

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Speaker 1: but they got to have some rules. They got to

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Speaker 1: have some household rules. They need to be cleaning up

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Speaker 1: after themselves. She can't do that. She got a new

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Speaker 1: baby and all that. So she wants to know is

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Speaker 1: she out of line for telling them this is the

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Speaker 1: way she runs her house. She wants to us to

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Speaker 1: help her understand junior.

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Speaker 6: My whole thing is is no, you're not wrong, No,

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Speaker 6: not at all.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 6: And aswhobbin's work, let's get back to that. Yeah, because

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Speaker 6: I don't care who kids it is. If you tab

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Speaker 6: my house, it's meeting coming with it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: And first of all, we talked about cleaning. I clean

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Speaker 6: well because they beat me into doing it. That's why

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Speaker 6: I clean so well. I'm telling you right now, every

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Speaker 6: time I think about this, waking up on AD in

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Speaker 6: the morning, if I hear Al Green, I automatically started

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Speaker 6: doing base Boys.

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Speaker 2: That's it.

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Speaker 6: I'm on baseballs, Bana baringam. I'm scrubbing, grubbling happiness. I

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Speaker 6: hear that, I'm scrubbing the entire time. If Frankie made

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Speaker 6: before I let go, I'm on toilets, That's what I'm doing.

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Speaker 4: I'm on toilets. Come on, boy.

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Speaker 6: By the time I hear the song, I know what

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Speaker 6: to go clean by the song that come on. Don't

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Speaker 6: even matter if I hear any Luther, I'm any refrigerator

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Speaker 6: because all his songs ten minutes. I'm cleaning the refrigerator.

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Speaker 4: But the song is ten minutes.

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Speaker 6: I know where I was supposed to be by the

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Speaker 6: song O hear this. What's wrong with these They don't

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Speaker 6: have no music to help them clean. That's what's wrong.

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Speaker 6: That's what you need to do.

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Speaker 2: Beat them.

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Speaker 6: I had no say soul, don't care for you got

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Speaker 6: to clean it at your house. This ain't your house.

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Speaker 6: And all the husband got to be is hen pecked.

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Speaker 6: He's scared of two women. He's hen pecked. How is

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Speaker 6: you scared of your ex? You ain't even with her

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Speaker 6: no more.

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Speaker 2: As what is wronging with her against the wife?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and the wife is absolutely right. Yeah, stand up

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Speaker 6: for your house. Don't care about your kids. Come over

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Speaker 6: here and they don't know how to clean. Beat them,

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Speaker 6: they gonna learn. I'm telling you, I don't care. If

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Speaker 6: it's like I don't care, what is it? Tell them,

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Speaker 6: I don't care what the song is. I knew what

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Speaker 6: to clean just based.

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Speaker 4: On the song. Yes, Freddie Jackson, Jane and Knight.

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Speaker 6: I'm cleaning the closet. I'm telling you call them organizing shoes,

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Speaker 6: putting my clothes back on hangers.

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Speaker 4: I know what to do.

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Speaker 6: I don't understand this with this lady here, you got

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Speaker 6: a brand new baby. The baby could get sick of anything.

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Speaker 4: In this fifth Yeah, Yeah, you know who can't take

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Speaker 4: no more? Junior? Who that cleaning lady at that other house.

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Speaker 4: She can't take no more.

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Speaker 2: She can't take you know that.

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Speaker 3: She just can't take it no more anyway.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, but time that clean lady dogs, you know you

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Speaker 6: gotta She tried to finding draws in the middle of

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Speaker 6: the floor, all that socks everywhere everything. The kids here

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Speaker 6: are just unruly. Yeah, and no, they don't live there.

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Speaker 6: They're visiting the mother. Exactly right, those kids visit here.

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Speaker 3: When we were at our mama house, I Mama, let

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Speaker 3: us know your own nothing.

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Speaker 4: He don't own.

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Speaker 2: That's right they did.

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Speaker 4: There ain't no rights in here. It was just a

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Speaker 4: free form of slavery.

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Speaker 2: That's what they did to us.

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Speaker 4: Day after that, right after, Yeah, day after it was

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Speaker 4: a free formal slave. It's exactly what it was.

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 4: You ain't slamming no dose up in Okay, we couldn't

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Speaker 4: do it.

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Speaker 2: We could not do a dough. We could not do it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: there ain't no no dough. Right.

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Speaker 1: She's not out of line for how she wants to

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Speaker 1: run her own house. Her husband moved in with her

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Speaker 1: in her house.

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Speaker 2: Life is still.

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Speaker 3: Me.

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Speaker 4: I don't like that. He weak.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Now stick with her.

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna have a lot of ways to discipline us,

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Speaker 6: like you you know, like like eating the air sandwiches.

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Speaker 4: That was real. You didn't need, you didn't eat. If

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Speaker 4: you ain't clean, you ain't eating.

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Speaker 6: Oh mom, get you an ass sandwich and go see

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Speaker 6: down what's the ass sandwich?

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Speaker 4: You got it right now? You know what she ought

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Speaker 4: to do.

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Speaker 3: When the kids come in from school, put their water

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Speaker 3: holes on the ass in the driveway. Just start cleaning

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Speaker 3: the airs down right there.

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Speaker 4: Start treasure washing. We're going to wash at the kid. Yes,

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Speaker 4: we finish. Get y'all.

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Speaker 3: Y'all gonna get cleaned round here after June teen. I'm

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Speaker 3: sorry were holding them.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry. I'm bad.

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Speaker 2: I'd be dashy. But she's right.

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Speaker 1: At eleven and fourteen, they can still learn how to clean.

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Speaker 2: They can still learn the basics. And if she wants

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Speaker 2: to teach him at her house, that's exactly.

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Speaker 6: What Shirley, Shirley, I cleaned my fridge my first baseboard

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Speaker 6: at too, did not at two.

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Speaker 4: I started cleaning that to baseboards was at two.

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Speaker 1: Poster you're coming some today, Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: f I'm on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on the free iHeart Radio app Free Never

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Speaker 1: Sounded So Good. You can download it today. Sports Talk

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Speaker 1: with Junior are coming up next right after this.

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Speaker 4: Bring that comment and that pine or pine in him

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Speaker 1: And put that passifile back in your You're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show.