Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, Welcome back to another episode. Oh Alchemy. This
Speaker 1: I am your guest host, Chris Alvarado, and I'm sitting
Speaker 1: in for Kevin Pollock today or am I. We'll figure
Speaker 1: that out in just a moment, but right now I
Speaker 1: want to meet our alchemist today in no particular order. First,
Speaker 1: let's say hello to Jackie d Ruthie. Oh hey, oh
Speaker 1: hey Jackie. How would you describe or define your personal style? Oh?
Speaker 1: That's really fun. Um. I mean my personal mottel has
Speaker 1: to do with my personal style, and that's confidence is key. Oh.
Speaker 1: I like a funky situation. I like a funky situation,
Speaker 1: and I believe that, like you know, you can pull
Speaker 1: off whatever as long as you're confident. I think that's right.
Speaker 1: That's what I That's what I believe. Um. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, I'm like a little bit of like
Speaker 1: a simple dresser, you know what you mean. I don't
Speaker 1: go like a bunch of I'm just like a little lazier.
Speaker 1: But I like a bold choice, like a like a
Speaker 1: something you'd were to like a sweatpant and like a
Speaker 1: CrOx and like a hoodie type. You know, I'm a
Speaker 1: cross gal. You know what it is is I like
Speaker 1: to describe my closet. It looks like a like a
Speaker 1: clown's room. Like it's just everything is very bright and
Speaker 1: all different colors. I really like, I really like colors.
Speaker 1: I own a few black T shirts, but that's because
Speaker 1: they're all heat shirts. Um heat, they're all Miami Heat shirts.
Speaker 1: But I really like, I really like a bunch of colors. But,
Speaker 1: like you're saying, you can do all of this if
Speaker 1: you have the confidence, all right, let's keep moving. Craig Katkowski, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 1: This is this is a real question. Well they're all
Speaker 1: real questions, but I'm curious to hear hear your answer
Speaker 1: on this one. In your opinion, which is the most
Speaker 1: important element of theater? The script, the actors, or the audience?
Speaker 1: And those are the only options. Those are only options
Speaker 1: I'm giving you today, The script, the actors, or the audience.
Speaker 1: I think a good production and good acting can absolutely
Speaker 1: elevate a mediocre script. That and uh, terrible acting can
Speaker 1: ruin a great script. Um so. And I think you
Speaker 1: know audience, having a good audience is important. But uh,
Speaker 1: you know, if if a great show exists in front
Speaker 1: of three people who are watching it, you know who
Speaker 1: were only mildly interested. I think it's still a great show.
Speaker 1: I think all of those are are elements. But I
Speaker 1: say this as an actor, uh that it's it comes
Speaker 1: down to the acting. Oh. I love that. And also
Speaker 1: by the way, I love when you show, when you
Speaker 1: show your work like that, Like, I just love hearing.
Speaker 1: I just love you, Greg. Can I just say that
Speaker 1: out loud? I just love it. It's just fun to
Speaker 1: hear you like work that out in real time. Thank
Speaker 1: you for sharing that because I had to pick only one.
Speaker 1: But of course all three are important. All three are important. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm moving on. James Heeney. Everybody say hello to James Heney. James,
Speaker 1: I have a hypothetical for you, okay, and I want
Speaker 1: you to answer this. You just booked. You just booked
Speaker 1: a major role in two different movies, but you can
Speaker 1: only accept one role. Now. One movie is starring The
Speaker 1: Rock and the other movie is starring Paul Rudd. Which
Speaker 1: movie are you are you going? Jeep was incredible, that's insane,
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess Paul Rudd. I really love The Rock.
Speaker 1: I mean that's insane. I love how personally I love this, James,
Speaker 1: this is this is an awful scenario up for you, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I love the Rock, but I have
Speaker 1: to choose Paul Rock. I guarantee you'd be well compensated
Speaker 1: for both roles. But if you pick the movie that
Speaker 1: the rocks, then you're gonna make it a lot more money.
Speaker 1: That's true. I mean that's very true. He makes a lot.
Speaker 1: But yes, I'll go for the I'll go for the
Speaker 1: Is it too late, I'll take the rock. The rocket
Speaker 1: is right, if that's what you're all about stuff, But
Speaker 1: I'll take a rock, then maybe that's right. Well, money
Speaker 1: what money was not get a choice as a component,
Speaker 1: But money was not a choice that important. He would
Speaker 1: have chose money. Let's keep moving out here. Let's welcome
Speaker 1: out tools. Singing everybody a tool? A tool. Would you
Speaker 1: rather do a solo dance performance or a solo singing
Speaker 1: performance dances? Is that because you're confident in your dance skills,
Speaker 1: are not confident in your singing skills? I think it's
Speaker 1: I'll stay on the positive. Confidence is key. Somebody wise
Speaker 1: told me that about seconds ago, and uh yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: confident in my dance skills, have rhythm um and so
Speaker 1: I feel very strongly that I could do that easily.
Speaker 1: I enjoy singing. But going to Craig's question, I might
Speaker 1: the audience would not. They would be it would be
Speaker 1: a concern. Gosh, No, I was just I would give
Speaker 1: a lot of money to see a solo dance concert
Speaker 1: with the tool. Oh you're so wonderful. Um. And now
Speaker 1: this just in. Things are getting crazy here in the studio.
Speaker 1: We have a special guest coming in. And this is
Speaker 1: strange because I'm hosting, but you all know him and
Speaker 1: love him. Ladies and gentlemen or however you identify, please
Speaker 1: welcome Kevin Pollock. Yes, Pollock everyone. It's an upside down universe.
Speaker 1: And uh, I'm so thrilled to be joining you guys
Speaker 1: as late as it is. And I'm so grateful to
Speaker 1: Chris for guest hosting today and allowing me to be
Speaker 1: one of the alchemists to to Dear James, I just
Speaker 1: want to say, take the Paul Rudd because A you're
Speaker 1: gonna kill it better in a comedy. B. H. The
Speaker 1: rock takes all the money, there'll be none left for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as you'd like to switch, I've got it in the
Speaker 1: books here. You were never switched over. To the rock.
Speaker 1: You were not allowed to switch over to the Rock's terrific.
Speaker 1: They're still on the rod. Yeah, and actually you spend time. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, that's a different podcast. It's different, you know.
Speaker 1: You know he's a great guy. But Kevin, I'm not
Speaker 1: letting you off the hook without a question. Now. As
Speaker 1: you know, because you've been in this zoom room, we
Speaker 1: have been. We are joined today by two alche Maniacs.
Speaker 1: That's Paul Hatton and Mike del Rosso. Right, they are here,
Speaker 1: they're joining us. This is one of the perks of
Speaker 1: being in Alchemaniac and they're having a good time. Now. Now,
Speaker 1: when you stepped away from your computer, I said, I
Speaker 1: gotta ask Kevin a question. He's a surprise special guest. Paul,
Speaker 1: do you have a question for him? And he said
Speaker 1: yes with the hesitation, and this was and this was
Speaker 1: his Yeah, this is his question from Okay, very specific question, Kevin,
Speaker 1: did you ever ignore a fan in Virginia Beach? Wow?
Speaker 1: That's really specific. I mean, I mean the answer seems
Speaker 1: sort of obvious. Do you recall it? Yeah? If the
Speaker 1: question was do I recall that? That's that's a question
Speaker 1: I can answer, whether or not I ever did seem
Speaker 1: self fulfilling in the question. And for the record, I
Speaker 1: would have much more appreciated a question from you, Chris.
Speaker 1: But listen, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen. Uh Paul Hadden if
Speaker 1: that's your real name, Uh uh maybe? I mean sure?
Speaker 1: Oh I like this. I like this attitude again from
Speaker 1: guests Kevin Paul Now, yeah, absolutely, he doesn't have to
Speaker 1: charm anyone. Yeah no, no, I actually know one as
Speaker 1: a partisant. Oh. I think I think we've said enough,
Speaker 1: so let's jump in. Let's jump into our show here. Um,
Speaker 1: as you all know, all of today's suggestions come to
Speaker 1: us from listener emails, and if you want priorities, consider
Speaker 1: becoming a Patreon v i P or Patreon alchemaniac. Right
Speaker 1: you can, you can watch us. You can join us
Speaker 1: for an in zoom session, plenty of perks, including bonus scenes,
Speaker 1: and your suggestions move up in the queue. So if
Speaker 1: you want to do that, please head on over to
Speaker 1: patreon dot com slash alchemy this, or if you'd like
Speaker 1: to submit a suggestion the old timing way. Gosh, it's
Speaker 1: hard to do when Kevin's watching this, by the way,
Speaker 1: because I'm using his cadence. But I'm gon keep going.
Speaker 1: If you want to submit a suggestion the old timing way,
Speaker 1: consider dropping us an email at alchemy this email at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com, that's dot com. Seen one comes to
Speaker 1: us from Alchemy v I p Andy Montoya and he says,
Speaker 1: seeing suggestion, harsh art. Critic goes to their kids finger
Speaker 1: painting class. Thanks and take care. All of you have
Speaker 1: done such a great job. I can't wait for you
Speaker 1: to share with your parents. This is just incredible work.
Speaker 1: You should be proud of yourself. Timmy, I'm pretty proud.
Speaker 1: First of all, what time do our parents get here
Speaker 1: and be don't patronize us, please, don't. You guys are
Speaker 1: such sophisticated students. I believe your parents should be here
Speaker 1: right at the I mean they might be already waiting outside,
Speaker 1: but when classes over today, they're gonna come in and
Speaker 1: look at all the work you've done this this year
Speaker 1: so far. My dad is a mechanic. He doesn't get art,
Speaker 1: but he's here. Oh everyone gets art. You just enjoy
Speaker 1: what you see. It's it's it's it's human nature. I
Speaker 1: love meeting people's parents because they seem to be like
Speaker 1: the building blocks of the little person that you guys
Speaker 1: are okay, parents, I'm persible atler as you know. Now
Speaker 1: we're gonna be taking you into the classroom. Now. Just
Speaker 1: a quick reminder, the kids put their hearts into these paintings,
Speaker 1: a lot of finger paintings. Um, I'm sure I don't
Speaker 1: have to tell you, but we want to keep this
Speaker 1: night a positive night. Okay, I'm sorry. Oh gosh, we
Speaker 1: got a lot of questions. Yes, what's going on here? Oh?
Speaker 1: Please you after you madam? Oh, I'm sorry, but um,
Speaker 1: I'm not a liar. So if I'm looking at something
Speaker 1: and it's not what they're telling me it is, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna say, wow, beautiful tiger. If I'm just looking
Speaker 1: at a lava nothing, you know what I mean? Show me,
Speaker 1: show me the eyes, where's the nose, where are the whiskers?
Speaker 1: Say something positive? Or say nothing at all? What are
Speaker 1: we going with that? Yeah, perhaps it's that, Perhaps it's that.
Speaker 1: Just you know, we want to keep the energy light, sir,
Speaker 1: sir with with the accent here. Yes, and my profession
Speaker 1: as well. If something is not correct, I have to mention.
Speaker 1: It is part of my job. So I just want
Speaker 1: to look that up up front. You're staring at my shirt.
Speaker 1: Uh No, I was just reading it, so that's all
Speaker 1: I was doing. I mean, I stand by what's written
Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, well that's great. So yeah, okay, it's
Speaker 1: a little I guess the children can't read that, so
Speaker 1: though we should be Okay, all right, I'm gonna open
Speaker 1: the room. As you know, the teacher is Mr. Elder
Speaker 1: Regard and um you know, here we go. Hi, everybody,
Speaker 1: look who it is. It's your favorite RD. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So I just want to say it's been a pleasure
Speaker 1: working with your kids. I've grown as much as they've grown.
Speaker 1: We really are excited to show you our work. Daddy,
Speaker 1: Danny kind Son. It's great to see you. Yes, it's me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to share you my painting. Okay, of course,
Speaker 1: Mr Mr e Can I show my painting? Of course?
Speaker 1: Of course. Um I can tell you the title, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to tell you what it is. No. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I think it's helpful if you do tell him what
Speaker 1: it is, because sometimes it's easier to explain with words
Speaker 1: than silence. That's what you said. We always say it's
Speaker 1: easier to explain with words that this is an octopus
Speaker 1: playing an oboe of violin and the drums and the
Speaker 1: title is music under the Sea. I love it, son,
Speaker 1: I see all of it. And let me tell you
Speaker 1: instructor that in my job, Mr, Mr Elder God, in
Speaker 1: my job, sometimes people explain things without using words. Sometimes
Speaker 1: people come in and go, my engine makes this noise.
Speaker 1: Grummmmmm grom and I have to deduce what could be
Speaker 1: the possibilities of Uh. It feels a little like you're
Speaker 1: you're judging me for having a Honda Civic. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: not at all. Not just say it's the not the accord,
Speaker 1: but it is. Uh, it is a Honda. Um. Just
Speaker 1: you decided at some point not to get the leite
Speaker 1: top model, the second model. But I will take a look.
Speaker 1: Can you explain to me what's exactly going on? Yeah,
Speaker 1: well it's cutting out a lot and uh, like, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm flooding the engine or somebody suggested
Speaker 1: online it could be a bad alternator online. Huh. I
Speaker 1: mean we go for all the answers in the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I think when it when it conks out, it
Speaker 1: kind of makes uh cod sound. Thank you right there,
Speaker 1: you've narrowed down the problem. I'll be able to repair well,
Speaker 1: you see, why don't we step aside for just a
Speaker 1: moment so I could tell you a little teach your
Speaker 1: parents secret, so you see what the thing is is
Speaker 1: some of these kids do really trashy pictures. They're just awful.
Speaker 1: But your kids got talent. You can see the oboe,
Speaker 1: the violin, the octopus, right, so, and that's why sometimes
Speaker 1: we explain it. Does that make sense? Yes, you didn't
Speaker 1: need me to pull me aside for that. Let's step
Speaker 1: aside for just one more second. We'll see. What you
Speaker 1: don't understand is if I have a different setables for
Speaker 1: your kid, it's going to be pretty transparent. Kids are
Speaker 1: smarter than you think. Okay, don't be kind of sending
Speaker 1: to what was that? Were you? Okay? What's when? What's when?
Speaker 1: What's when's your parents? Which? When's your mom or dada? Well,
Speaker 1: my my dad's not here yet, so I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't Okay, Well I like your picture. Thanks. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I've been inspired Picasso for a long time,
Speaker 1: and sometimes I try to work outside the cubism and
Speaker 1: just get to the Hey, um, i'm your dad's secretary. Yeah, uh,
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. I'm here to check out your work.
Speaker 1: So well, I'll tell you what weren't you just tell
Speaker 1: him you liked it, you found some of it confusing,
Speaker 1: and you don't have to really stay. Oh it's your mommy. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm so excited. Oh I don't have kids.
Speaker 1: Oh it's your step mommy. It's uh, this is gonna
Speaker 1: be wonderful. Have you showed her your artwork yet? Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's not put a title on her. Yeah, let's just
Speaker 1: make it clear. That makes sense, makes sense that here
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. Have you shared your
Speaker 1: artwork yet? It's wonderful. He's actually refusing. He's actually withholding
Speaker 1: his artwork from me, And that's not how I roll.
Speaker 1: It's clear to see that you might not understand it,
Speaker 1: but if you want to see it, sure it's over here, Grady.
Speaker 1: That's the spirit there. It is Grady. I get art.
Speaker 1: Let me just hate that. He just says I get art.
Speaker 1: People who don't. But go ahead, okay, I think you
Speaker 1: just can. I just have a little tiny secret time
Speaker 1: with you. Just step aside a little bit. Grady's been
Speaker 1: a real aspect. I don't know what the problem is
Speaker 1: or whatever you'll talk about. Wish was asshole. It's a
Speaker 1: big it's a big one. You can't do anything about this.
Speaker 1: I can't do anything about this. I shouldn't even be here.
Speaker 1: I should even be here. I should be doing clerical
Speaker 1: work that gets me to move up the ladders so
Speaker 1: that eventually I too can be a litigator. But you know,
Speaker 1: not even family. No I'm not. You're not even family terry,
Speaker 1: which also is sucked up because I'm illegal. And yet
Speaker 1: he makes me agree. Okay, okay, I gotta get myself centered.
Speaker 1: Oh it's a wonderful. Hey, can you make sure this
Speaker 1: deposition gets over to to climb in facts? And how
Speaker 1: did everything? Uh? Go with the with the kid? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's he does art. It's with his fingers and it's
Speaker 1: pretty good. His teacher is a bit off the rails.
Speaker 1: She wants to kind of talk with you. Um, but
Speaker 1: I'd really rather talk about the defication because I actually
Speaker 1: filed the taper work for it that I don't think
Speaker 1: that you read yet. But um, is anything not clear
Speaker 1: about the instructions I gave you? No? Um, your instructions
Speaker 1: were clear. It's that I finished. Are you asking me
Speaker 1: to give those instructions again? No, I'm letting you know
Speaker 1: that I took initiative and I started to do extra
Speaker 1: work on top of the work that I already finished
Speaker 1: that you asked me to do, just to show you
Speaker 1: that I am worth more than perhaps you see tell
Speaker 1: me tell me your name again? Three years? Oh no,
Speaker 1: look whose dad it is? I heard this guy as
Speaker 1: an actual art critic. What do you mean? Well, I
Speaker 1: think he does that for a living. I think that's
Speaker 1: his job. He says bad things about our We're good
Speaker 1: but probably mostly bad. Critic doesn't feel like as a
Speaker 1: positive association with it. I mean, to justify your existence?
Speaker 1: Do you have to put things down? I think, m hm,
Speaker 1: where's my fucking kid? Where's my fucking kid? This isn't
Speaker 1: gonna go. Well, where's your Where's where's your teacher? Oh? Hello,
Speaker 1: I'm mr elder Gard. You must be here for the
Speaker 1: teacher art show. Here's my card. I'm with the the Atlantic,
Speaker 1: all right? Oh, I've read the Atlantic. This is what
Speaker 1: you've read The Atlantic personally, what we talked to you
Speaker 1: over here. For a second, it feels a little bit
Speaker 1: kind of like you're judging me for only getting two
Speaker 1: pieces into the Whitney Biennial. Well, I am judging you
Speaker 1: fun face, and that's that's called for. No, it's not. No,
Speaker 1: it's not if you do funk face work and get
Speaker 1: two pieces only into the Whitney. Do you know how
Speaker 1: many times the biennial happens? Um, it's either every two
Speaker 1: years or twice a year. Sometimes these terms are confusing.
Speaker 1: I wish words would just all right, Yes, it happens
Speaker 1: every two years. It's very fucking fancy. So when you
Speaker 1: get two pieces in, be happy about it, all right.
Speaker 1: I saw you getting in Jeff Kuhn's face. Jeff con
Speaker 1: is the guy who doesn't even do the actual fucking work. Hey,
Speaker 1: anyone can make a balloon, all right, a metallic balloon.
Speaker 1: I mean I did. I did both of these sculptures
Speaker 1: and they did get into the Whitney Whitney Biennial. Yes, hey,
Speaker 1: why don't you tell me one more time? Well, I
Speaker 1: I just I just feel like you're being unnecessarily harsh, sir.
Speaker 1: Did you see mine? Look at this? Look at this
Speaker 1: young boy? This is this kid is five years old.
Speaker 1: His work is right next to yours. That's not cool.
Speaker 1: Look at it? Look at it? Are these are animals
Speaker 1: under the sea? Tom? Why don't you explain it. Oh.
Speaker 1: I know that you're a parent of one of the
Speaker 1: students here, but uh, you can't just bring in these
Speaker 1: statues and whoever this person is, um, uh, this is
Speaker 1: a nude statue. We've children here and like it's art.
Speaker 1: Can talk to you over her sing. Let's moving on
Speaker 1: to see number two. And it comes to us from
Speaker 1: listener Andre Durham. Hello, thank you all for existing suggestion
Speaker 1: the newest Bond girl, Dolores from accounting. Thanks Andre. Did
Speaker 1: you see Did you see this? They're they're doing a
Speaker 1: cattle call. They're doing a cattle call for the new
Speaker 1: James Bond movie. You know this internet flyer here? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, that's not that's the first thing flyer I've seen.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well, it usually goes to the spam of
Speaker 1: people's emails. But I don't get emails. I may spam
Speaker 1: my primary Dolores move moves, see let me see my
Speaker 1: must be female. I'm out hot. No, I guess none
Speaker 1: of us. I think. I don't think you realize that's
Speaker 1: not that's not a casting call. They're looking for a
Speaker 1: real secret agent. Look at that right up there. It
Speaker 1: says for real. Oh yeah, at the top. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: for real that's how you know it's real because it
Speaker 1: says it's for real. I mean it's I wouldn't say
Speaker 1: that if it wasn't but a waste to text. None
Speaker 1: of this it means anything does anyway? Okay, we all
Speaker 1: work in this office. None of us are so well actually, Dolores, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm uncomfortable with this line of thinking. Well, I didn't
Speaker 1: mean Dolores always has her hair up and has her
Speaker 1: glasses on. So I just look at this if I
Speaker 1: think if I take this hair down, Sorry, look at
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'll go back to my cub the transfer.
Speaker 1: If you not see the transformation moment and every motion
Speaker 1: picture where the awkward, nerdy girl takes down her hair
Speaker 1: and removes her glass, can you name one, She's all
Speaker 1: that comes to mind. But listen, Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but no one does it for her. I'm sorry, my bad.
Speaker 1: I'll go back to my cubic clocks. Hey, I'll go
Speaker 1: back to my cubicle. Do it for her in that movie,
Speaker 1: like they give her a makeover, right, you know, but
Speaker 1: no one man handles her head, do they? Especially when honestly,
Speaker 1: I have such a sensitive scalp. Mr Bond Unfortunately, it's
Speaker 1: been a little difficult to find a new bond girl,
Speaker 1: as our internet flyers seems to be half casting call
Speaker 1: half actual really, so people are getting confused. So please
Speaker 1: forgive the the situation. You're not gonna kill me, are you.
Speaker 1: I'm just no, of course not keep up the search
Speaker 1: and um, I'll just do this next mission on my own.
Speaker 1: But please, Mr bond was it was? It? Um? Not
Speaker 1: right of me too when I was making this internet
Speaker 1: flyer to ask for somebody to be hot? Is that
Speaker 1: is that? That was? That was not personally I'm not
Speaker 1: happy with the term bond girl either. But let's just
Speaker 1: let's just have a name, you know, bring me every
Speaker 1: you know, just just give her a name. Okay, every
Speaker 1: bring you every Dolores in the country. My mother's name
Speaker 1: is Dolores. So yes, let's let's go with that. Okay,
Speaker 1: that builds, That builds a little more even and then
Speaker 1: a little more uh safe. Listen, m you're in charge.
Speaker 1: You don't need to test me. I just do that,
Speaker 1: you know. I just I'm older and so I kind
Speaker 1: of you know, confused with the way things anyway. This
Speaker 1: is a pen. It blows up if you throw it
Speaker 1: at somebody. Well, you're doing a ques job now is
Speaker 1: that cue supposed to be? Um? Yes? Um, my name
Speaker 1: is Dolores, right, you're all Dolores Is. Oh sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: Dolores Clatorus. I'm here for the casting call. Okay, is it?
Speaker 1: Is it? It pronounced Clitus? My last name is pronounced Clitoris. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh that's okay, Mrs Clatorus. What
Speaker 1: was your what was your schedule? Time? Tot? I just
Speaker 1: want you to know that I come early because early
Speaker 1: is on time and on time is late in my world. Okay,
Speaker 1: well we are we are going to go with time scheduled,
Speaker 1: so you it is two thirty. Now you can go
Speaker 1: on into the room. Mr Bond may Or may not
Speaker 1: be there, but there will be an associate to help you.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you. Hello. Hello, my name's
Speaker 1: James Wonderful. My name is Dolores, Dolores Cloris, isn't it
Speaker 1: my last name is. I'm just running the camera back here,
Speaker 1: but I'm not sure it is this acting or is
Speaker 1: this secret agent stuff like Terry? Just just record all right,
Speaker 1: I'm hitting her card dude. Thank you. Sorry, I have
Speaker 1: a seat. Mr lawis. We just have a few questions. Um,
Speaker 1: have you ever done any secret missions? Well, one time,
Speaker 1: uh my mom didn't want me to leave the house
Speaker 1: because there was a hurricane, but it was the very
Speaker 1: beginning of the storm and it was only a category too.
Speaker 1: And I had a craving for a brownie thunder from
Speaker 1: uh t G I of Fridays, and so I told
Speaker 1: her I was going to Blockbuster to pick up movies
Speaker 1: for the hurricane, and instead I went to t G.
Speaker 1: I have Fridays and I had that dessert, and she
Speaker 1: she was never the right. You've told me enough? Okay,
Speaker 1: can I head stop? No, Terry, just all right, all right,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you roll. Would you like my profiles? Without
Speaker 1: you will actually be going through that door right there
Speaker 1: to the right render. Let's go over this one more time.
Speaker 1: When I said bring me the newest bun Girls the
Speaker 1: way to torture Agent, I thought I was rather clear
Speaker 1: which bard Were you confused? Well? Uh, first of all, boss,
Speaker 1: You're you're hard to understand sometimes, you know, so you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes it's just a it's addiction thing, you know. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I got the message, like get the get
Speaker 1: the new Bond girl. You don't like the way I
Speaker 1: saw screwed up, disfigured face disturb you as well. It's
Speaker 1: not great, you know, Like I mean, they didn't make
Speaker 1: you that mask that that will cover like most of
Speaker 1: your face. You know, it wouldn't hurt to keep it
Speaker 1: on around the office. Well, how did I screw up
Speaker 1: this time? Boss? I don't see the Bond oh? Um?
Speaker 1: Yeah about that? Um? You know I kidnapped her, uh
Speaker 1: last night, and then I got back to the warehouse
Speaker 1: and everything was locked up like everyone everyone kind of
Speaker 1: closed up got home for the night. And you know
Speaker 1: it's because you know, I asked you for a key,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, jarity is crucial. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I need that, Okay, but I am at the
Speaker 1: warehouse a lot freeze right there, Mr Bond, Oh and Delorestores,
Speaker 1: Now you're both gonna die. All I need is one
Speaker 1: little bullet next to Yeah, oh very right, missus platoris
Speaker 1: I expected this from Bond, but not from a Bond girl. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm a woman at this point, okay, forty two years old, young,
Speaker 1: forty two years young? And what will you do if
Speaker 1: I just shoot you? Now? Well, I would dodge it
Speaker 1: if you're giving me enough warning. In fact, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna grab the gun, right, and then you're just so
Speaker 1: focused on that other thing. And so now I have
Speaker 1: your gun, and I'm actually quite a good shot. I
Speaker 1: used to go to the range with my father to
Speaker 1: bond with him. We loved guns to bond with him.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think maybe I did defend to Laura.
Speaker 1: She hasn't been back since I dropped her hair into
Speaker 1: her glasses. You think I'm going to get in trouble?
Speaker 1: Was HR? You're saying you're repped glitter is the wrong way.
Speaker 1: I think maybe we should just like we should just
Speaker 1: like use this as a learning moment. You know, I
Speaker 1: said no one was hot in the office, and that's
Speaker 1: not really cool either. That wasn't cool. Yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: we've learned a lot o you too? Uh sorry? Um
Speaker 1: oh yeah, you're fired? Oh all right? Uh Steve from
Speaker 1: HR didn't want to come down. Just send me to
Speaker 1: pass on the message, right, Okay, that that makes sense.
Speaker 1: That makes sense. Okay, all right, so let me just
Speaker 1: walk you up. Yep, are you too? Lis? I sent
Speaker 1: you into be double agents and you've both got fired.
Speaker 1: What you're saying, I got so lost in the role.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was. It was hard and
Speaker 1: which was up right? Well, then maybe you can get
Speaker 1: into the warehouse and help them. Dumb three year I
Speaker 1: don't gee, you have the keys? Uh am? I are
Speaker 1: you gonna kill me if I say no? It's Bruno.
Speaker 1: I'm stuck outside, Bruno. Why if you look brow in
Speaker 1: p I'm on it. Yeah, I we'll see about that. Oh.
Speaker 1: I hit my knuckle on the doorn. Oh wait, who's that?
Speaker 1: Someone's taking Bruno? James Bond is here, boss, James Bond
Speaker 1: is here? Facts defell for my trap? Let me wait?
Speaker 1: We were all lures and you're using us. Yes, trout boys,
Speaker 1: step aside. Found I found Claris Dolores taurus. It rhynds.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't be hard anyway, I found her. It was
Speaker 1: I was searching the longest time, plagued mankind for centuries.
Speaker 1: My boy, you don't take it personally? Well, Mr bad
Speaker 1: we needed These ropes are not going to be able
Speaker 1: to hold me right? Why didn't I tell you my
Speaker 1: evil plan before you get out of those ropes? Where
Speaker 1: don't you usually have a mask that covers half your face?
Speaker 1: Just really happy? I think I left it in the
Speaker 1: car bos Yeah, thanks, thanks dum never mind, here's my plan.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe if you don't want to wear this brown
Speaker 1: this brown paper back, we cut eye holes in. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it. Cut I holds in. I don't take you
Speaker 1: twenty minutes, as I always say, my plan, Mr articulate boss. Wait,
Speaker 1: we lost the lories. We lost Mr Laturus. I don't
Speaker 1: know where she is. I thought we had her. I
Speaker 1: thought we knew exactly where she was. And I'm funny her,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know where she is. Can we
Speaker 1: just call her the button for short? I don't know
Speaker 1: if we can do that. Well, you know, we we
Speaker 1: were senting to the other office. We got canned for
Speaker 1: saying things are less offensive than that, right, yeah, we
Speaker 1: there's no hr were the bad guys sake now, ter Bun.
Speaker 1: My plan was quite simple. I'm going to the ripened
Speaker 1: shreds piece by piece so that you, you too, are unseeable.
Speaker 1: Do you think I could get that in writing? Here's
Speaker 1: a pen? Cool, Dolores. How was your weekend? It's pretty chill,
Speaker 1: I am. I actually went to the movie theater for
Speaker 1: the first time in a long time. Oh wow, fun yeah,
Speaker 1: it was pretty good. What do you see, um, you
Speaker 1: know one of those classic bad guys good guy spy
Speaker 1: ish movies. Those are so unbelievable, but fun starts. Second
Speaker 1: sing our. Third suggestion comes to us from Alcamaniac and
Speaker 1: in zoom guest Mike del Rosso. Everybody, this is exciting.
Speaker 1: Mike says, what's up you marry Ganga Pranksters scenes suggestion
Speaker 1: Penultimate Frisbee Tournament heads on a swivel. Buttermilk Jones Penultimate
Speaker 1: Frisbee Tournament. Yeah, I'd just like to practice before the
Speaker 1: game starts, to get a little couple of tosses in. Right, Great, great,
Speaker 1: And here at Frisbee Weekly, we were wondering if you
Speaker 1: could tell us a couple of like of your secret
Speaker 1: stretches or something that really gets you get your head
Speaker 1: in the game. Listen, this is the semifinals, alright, the
Speaker 1: penalty match of the year. Were four years defending champions
Speaker 1: and everything that we do is a secret. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna share any of our secret trips. That makes sense.
Speaker 1: That makes sense. Hey, you can't blame the guy for asking, right, Yeah, Hey,
Speaker 1: we love Frisbee Weekly. By the way, I gotta say
Speaker 1: your June issue. The the centerfold issue was one of
Speaker 1: our hottest selling I wasn't that that, Frisbee wasn't glued
Speaker 1: to me. I was holding you. I heard, I heard,
Speaker 1: I heard that is so hot, that you are so hot. Anyway,
Speaker 1: go Flyers, uh and have a good Uh. You don't
Speaker 1: have any more questions. I got one more. I see
Speaker 1: if I can find it here. Are you? Are you single?
Speaker 1: That's a good question. I am Oh. I know this
Speaker 1: is weird, but I have a question for you, on
Speaker 1: or off the record. On I'm listening, Are you single?
Speaker 1: I am not. I am not because sometimes when you're young,
Speaker 1: you make stupid choices, you know what I mean, and
Speaker 1: then you go, I guess you know I'm here now,
Speaker 1: and I gotta lock into this, you know, forever and
Speaker 1: never and never until one of us dies. Fantasies might
Speaker 1: come into the mind, but that doesn't mean you're gonna
Speaker 1: do it, and you're not gonna act on them, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So God Flyers, and let's go
Speaker 1: get them semifinals. Alright, Good luck with your personal life.
Speaker 1: Frisbee Weekly out Hey, I heard you talking about how
Speaker 1: you were, you know, regret being married and stuff. But
Speaker 1: I actually heard that, Yeah, I was your first month,
Speaker 1: and I got Yeah, I'm Frisbee Weekly. We don't really
Speaker 1: get along, not typically, not typically. I mean we curate
Speaker 1: our work a little better, We take our time and
Speaker 1: make it worth it. Well, we're on the fly. We
Speaker 1: need it now. It looks rushed. But anyways, what I
Speaker 1: was gonna say is I got a guy they can
Speaker 1: take care of that dead weight problem you got. You
Speaker 1: gotta pay in crypto to keep it on the d.
Speaker 1: L I'm right here. Why don't you just introduce me? Hi,
Speaker 1: Larry tam I'm with Frisbee Annual. So I have a
Speaker 1: lot of time on my head, and this is the
Speaker 1: guy who can do the thing. I can absolutely do
Speaker 1: the thing, whatever the thing is. He's got time. He's
Speaker 1: an annual. Quick question though, I've always had a hard
Speaker 1: time buying the cryptok First of all, slow down, okay,
Speaker 1: no reason for quick questions. You have a tough time
Speaker 1: purchasing cryptos. Okay, what part is you do you find
Speaker 1: in troubling? I think maybe we'll get to that later,
Speaker 1: because is that is I need somebody to kill mine?
Speaker 1: Oh God, Harold, I think that Robert's cheating on me.
Speaker 1: What well, two henchman came into my apartment yesterday and
Speaker 1: tried to murder me. But you know, I have really
Speaker 1: strong thighs and I was able to always And why
Speaker 1: else would he do that if he wasn't like into
Speaker 1: somebody else, Like, why else would he hire somebody to
Speaker 1: I don't mean you got to give him the benefit
Speaker 1: of the doubt though, right, No, no, I'm not saying that.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that maybe there's a a more logical explanation.
Speaker 1: I don't know, God Gerrold. It just makes me feel
Speaker 1: so right, I just feel like a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: I feel like an actual piece of ship. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, it's like, fuck, if Beyonce gets cheated on,
Speaker 1: like why not me? You know, and you're a strong
Speaker 1: woman just like she is. I don't think it's strong
Speaker 1: you can finish that smooth physically. I felt really strong. Yes,
Speaker 1: you are. I mean the thighs in particular are just ridiculous.
Speaker 1: You know what it is I've been Have you ever
Speaker 1: seen Lost the Yeah? I think like you don't like
Speaker 1: if you can't say yes with fer then the answer
Speaker 1: is no, it's purgatory, right, I only watched the pilot. Sorry, boss. Uh,
Speaker 1: well we got in there. Uh, but we we didn't.
Speaker 1: We didn't kill her. I mean you didn't get it. Well,
Speaker 1: Phil was Phil was in the lead, and so he
Speaker 1: got in the front door. Um, and I said shoot
Speaker 1: her and he said, I thought you had the gun.
Speaker 1: And that's where that's where it was confusing. Is that
Speaker 1: not an interview process by which you morons get ironed? No?
Speaker 1: Hr is very thorough right. Yeah. So see still things
Speaker 1: like I thought I had the gun but he had
Speaker 1: the gun. That sort of thing can still happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: put your knuckles that both of us. Oh you guys
Speaker 1: changed lots again. Tougher. Hey, wow, that was a really
Speaker 1: good warm up. Guys. Uh, looking good out there, looking.
Speaker 1: I actually did have a couple more questions. I forgot
Speaker 1: to ask you for Frisbee Weekly. Um, listen, I just
Speaker 1: gave an interview to Frisbee Monthly and Annual, so you
Speaker 1: can just take it up with them, all right, Oh okay,
Speaker 1: because it just feels like you maybe we want to
Speaker 1: say a couple of things about Frisbee to us. That
Speaker 1: wasn't a very good argument. I mean, are you here
Speaker 1: to change your answer and then I'll what what what
Speaker 1: are you crazy. This is the samer what what are we? What?
Speaker 1: What we want to know? This is what game? Is?
Speaker 1: This the champ not the championship, but the woman before?
Speaker 1: What's that called? The ultimate? Is last? This is a
Speaker 1: pen ultimate. So that's what we're dealing with here today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is halftime right now. So it's halftime. We're in
Speaker 1: the middle of the game. Frisbees are flying, hearts are flying.
Speaker 1: You know, hey, pal, just wondering if you've got two
Speaker 1: words for frisbee decade. We put a lot of time
Speaker 1: and consideration into each issue. I'm actually in the middle
Speaker 1: of an interview right now. Okay, we can wait. Hey, honey,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm home. How did cow um cheryl? I know
Speaker 1: she's cheating on me. I know what you're saying. He
Speaker 1: has like a complete other life with some woman. I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I'm taking a nap in the bedroom. The were closed,
Speaker 1: of course, because you know, I like to like simulate
Speaker 1: nighttime when I take my day. Yeah. Yes, he comes
Speaker 1: home and another woman answers the door. She was her apartment,
Speaker 1: she was there. I just had a bad day. I
Speaker 1: just had a bad day. Maybe can you make a
Speaker 1: cup of coffee? Babe? Sure, you know? Okay? Good? Where
Speaker 1: is everything? Where do I make the coffee? Um? You
Speaker 1: know what? I should just make it? Thanks for She
Speaker 1: asked me where you woke me up to ask me?
Speaker 1: And I was like, is this a dream? Is this heaven?
Speaker 1: Is this hell? Like? What's happening? What is the bitch
Speaker 1: even doing there? What is she doing there? What is
Speaker 1: she doing there? Do you want the rest of smoothie? Or?
Speaker 1: I can't even eat at this point? And you know,
Speaker 1: I consider Bush. We were going to kill his his wife,
Speaker 1: but when we came in there was two wives. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm not killing two people. They're not You're
Speaker 1: a up to that task killing both of them? As
Speaker 1: a quick answer, that much, I just killing both? That
Speaker 1: doesn't cross your mind. It just seemed a little confusing.
Speaker 1: I was sent out to kill one person and then
Speaker 1: there's two people both with them? Right? Come on? Because
Speaker 1: I was like, what if they wanted us to kill
Speaker 1: two but they only paid for one knowing we'd kill two? Money?
Speaker 1: Is that it? Yeah? Yeah, boss? I didn't want it
Speaker 1: to be about money. Okay, So let's say I don't know,
Speaker 1: you're sending to a situation where you have an assignment
Speaker 1: and that assignment is to find the dog and steal it.
Speaker 1: But when you get there, there are five dogs. What
Speaker 1: do you do? Do I have a cell phone? Yeah?
Speaker 1: All right? Then I call right and I and I clarify,
Speaker 1: is like, can you send me a a sure of
Speaker 1: the dog you would like kidnapped? And then I would
Speaker 1: then take that one dog. But if you got voicemail
Speaker 1: when you call, I was texting this whole time. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, so I got voicemail. So if I got voicemail,
Speaker 1: I would just wait. Maybe i'd wait ten more minutes. M.
Speaker 1: Do I have to catch a bus or train or anything? Okay?
Speaker 1: Would wait? Wait it out? Interesting call M. I've been
Speaker 1: doing this. I've been this for a long time. Yeah, baby,
Speaker 1: she's here too. So what you're not happy and I'm
Speaker 1: not happy? I knew. I never said I wasn't happy.
Speaker 1: You're making me unhappy right now with this, but before this,
Speaker 1: I wasn't unhappy. Oh good, or okay, I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: I can't wield a Ninja star or whatever the fun
Speaker 1: she in those stupid ass movies. They're not stupid, and
Speaker 1: I just want to say that I'm here for support.
Speaker 1: You see what the issue is Cheryl, Yes, Cheryl, do
Speaker 1: you everybody freeze? There's three women here. I just think
Speaker 1: we should just kill them. We should just kill him today.
Speaker 1: What a tiny star you are? Like to whoa frozen
Speaker 1: strawberry chunks at the bottom. That's smoothie. They're piercing triangular
Speaker 1: killed us. I don't know what to say. Listen, I
Speaker 1: don't know what to say. You would know what to
Speaker 1: say if you would have only have watched Lost and
Speaker 1: I asked you to watch. I asked you to watch
Speaker 1: that show. Everybody, WHOA. Let's take a second here and
Speaker 1: thank everybody for playing. James Heeney, thank you. Tell us
Speaker 1: what you're up to. Well, I'm still doing brief news
Speaker 1: brief if you're looking for a brief take on the news,
Speaker 1: don't forget to you know. And they come out every week.
Speaker 1: And game Front tons of game Front video game stuff
Speaker 1: on YouTube. Terrific. Craig Atkowski, thank you so much. What's
Speaker 1: going on? Well? A Tool correctly used the word penultimate,
Speaker 1: which means second to last. I think sometimes people are like,
Speaker 1: it's the penultimate, like it's the ultra ultimate, but it
Speaker 1: just means second to last. And also, uh if if
Speaker 1: it's a frisbee. It's a registered trademark of WAMO. Otherwise
Speaker 1: it's just a plastic flying disc. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: know that, Jackie de Ruthie. Did you know that? Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what WAMO is invented the frisbee. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. That's a fun fact. Thank you for
Speaker 1: that fact. Thank you for having me play as well.
Speaker 1: What a great day of course A tool sing Bud, Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you for him. It's always so much fun. You
Speaker 1: can people can follow me at a tool time on socials,
Speaker 1: and I have to give credit. And the reason I
Speaker 1: know that regarding penultimate is because of a Zach Sermons
Speaker 1: song I believe called Super Penultimate or something like that,
Speaker 1: which is the third to last. Oh, and a tool
Speaker 1: Are you gonna? Are you gonna sleep today? I know
Speaker 1: you've been traveling. I'm actually gonna try to stay up.
Speaker 1: The goal would be to stay up till the night.
Speaker 1: That way I get back into a sleep cycle. Smart
Speaker 1: and I mean Kevin Pollock, thank you for joining us
Speaker 1: in the middle of day. So great, so great. I
Speaker 1: I only know the third to last is anti penultimate.
Speaker 1: I only know that because of poker. People are very anxious.
Speaker 1: What the last hand of the night. Have you've been
Speaker 1: playing for hours and hours and ever present and occasionally annoying,
Speaker 1: Sam Levine will say this is the penultimate, and then
Speaker 1: earlier he would have said this is the anti penultimate.
Speaker 1: I believe, I believe Craig will back me up on that.
Speaker 1: Um And yeah, no, this was great because I did
Speaker 1: not think I would get any time with you all
Speaker 1: today based on work schedule here in the New York City.
Speaker 1: And Chris was lovely enough to uh jump at the
Speaker 1: chance to uh to I say host, I don't say guests,
Speaker 1: come on your host, all right, yeah, come on, And
Speaker 1: uh this is my first time as as just analochemist.
Speaker 1: Um and uh and I had I had a blast,
Speaker 1: and I feel I was completely off my game and
Speaker 1: it was really enjoy to watch the rest of you
Speaker 1: from a from a different perspective. Uh not the clock.
Speaker 1: Uh that is different. That is different. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: weird kind of pressure. Um, but yeah, this is great fun.
Speaker 1: I love you all. We love you. Enjoy the rest
Speaker 1: of your time in New York. And let's also thank
Speaker 1: our two in zoom in studio Alcmaniac Guess, Paul Hatton
Speaker 1: and Mike del Rosso. Thanks for being here, gentlemen, everybody else,
Speaker 1: if you want to, you want to give us a shot,
Speaker 1: you know, meet us at that alca maniac level Patreon
Speaker 1: dot com, slash alchemy. This also, while we are thinking people,
Speaker 1: let's think our engineer and producer to the stars, Mr Dougan,
Speaker 1: and the fine folks at I Heart Media. I have
Speaker 1: been your host, Chris Alvarado, and I thank you for
Speaker 1: listening and until next time.