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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Emily, and you're listening to stuff mom

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Speaker 1: never told you. And Happy New Year, Happy New Year.

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Speaker 1: I am ready, are you? Are you ready for I'm

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Speaker 1: never quite ready. I'll get there. I'll be ready for

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Speaker 1: it in like August. I love it. I hope everyone

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Speaker 1: listening had a wonderful, relaxing, chill holiday break. And I'm

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Speaker 1: thrilled to be back in y'all's earbuds because we've got

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Speaker 1: a lot to do in. Some people are calling this

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Speaker 1: the year of the woman. By the way, have you

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Speaker 1: seen that? I have seen that. Yeah, I think this

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Speaker 1: will be the year of the not white man. I

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Speaker 1: like it. So it's like a good year for getting

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Speaker 1: clear on what you want to do with this clean

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Speaker 1: slate that is the brand new year. I guess when

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Speaker 1: this comes out, it will be what January third, in

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Speaker 1: the New Year days in is a good time to

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Speaker 1: get together. Getting together. However, as we start the conversation

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Speaker 1: today around New Year's resolutions, I want to first acknowledge

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Speaker 1: that New Year's resolutions have become very uncool, haven't they?

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Speaker 1: They have, And I actually have to admit that I

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Speaker 1: don't really I'm not really down with New Year's resolutions.

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Speaker 1: I think other people should do them, and if it

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Speaker 1: makes other people feel in control of their where their

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Speaker 1: year is going, more power to them. They're not for me, okay,

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Speaker 1: other than the fact that you're the ultimate cool girl.

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Speaker 1: Why why? Why? Why are New Year's resolutions so passe?

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Speaker 1: For a lot of reasons. One for me, I think

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Speaker 1: that I never I never stick with them. There was

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Speaker 1: one night my resolution was not to burn my tongue

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Speaker 1: on any hot foods. And I was at a New

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Speaker 1: Year's Eve party and before that party was over, I

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Speaker 1: had burned my tongue. Well, technically that means oh wait no,

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Speaker 1: it was after midnight. Start year with a burnt tongue.

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Speaker 1: But I was like, dang, I really, I can't get

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Speaker 1: I can't do him. Um. I try to stick with

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Speaker 1: something that's really really small and tangible. Um, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to read a book this year or something

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Speaker 1: something really dumb and small. Uh. I think that we

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Speaker 1: should be thinking about getting our stuff together all year round,

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Speaker 1: and I think that New Year's puts a weird pressure

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Speaker 1: on it that for me, as soon as it's a

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Speaker 1: defined thing, I'm less likely to do it. You are

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Speaker 1: such a rebel. I just love it. It's not gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: Rebel without a cause over here, I think, bust out

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Speaker 1: the biker jacket, Bridget, I have one. I know you

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Speaker 1: know um well, Actually, to be fair, you're in a

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Speaker 1: very very good company. There's a lot of different pseudo

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Speaker 1: science thrown around around this time of year about how

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Speaker 1: like eight percent of people who set New Year's resolutions

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Speaker 1: don't follow through, or there's another number of eight percent

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Speaker 1: people actually make it happen. So I totally get it.

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Speaker 1: I gets It's so funny because as a writer, I've

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Speaker 1: pitched pieces on New Year's resolutions to major publications and

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Speaker 1: everyone comes back and says, no, we want an anti

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Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions piece, not a pro New Year's Resolutions piece.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm sorry, I can't write that piece

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Speaker 1: for you because I'm so into resolutions and this of

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Speaker 1: course makes me nerdy and uncool. However, I think we're

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Speaker 1: all used to hearing that from me at this point,

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Speaker 1: because I really think, especially in light of everything we

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Speaker 1: talked about in the role Overload series, all the ways

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Speaker 1: in which women in particular can struggle with the many

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Speaker 1: different hats we were expected to wear the New Year's

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Speaker 1: resolutions to me is a proclamation of ownership over your

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Speaker 1: own destiny. Now do we all own everything about our destiny? No,

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Speaker 1: but I think it's almost a radical act to sit

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Speaker 1: down and give yourself the time and give yourself the

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Speaker 1: effort and focus to say, what would I want to

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Speaker 1: do with my year if I could do anything? See,

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Speaker 1: I actually am down with that framing. It's more positive

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Speaker 1: and less sort of punitive if you don't stick with

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Speaker 1: this thing you said you were going to do on

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Speaker 1: January one and you failed in your year. I think

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Speaker 1: sitting down and having a little bit of intentionality baked

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Speaker 1: into your life about where you want to where you

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Speaker 1: want to see yourself, and let yourself fantasize about what

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Speaker 1: your life could look like. You know what you want,

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Speaker 1: where you want to be in the next year. I

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Speaker 1: think that's okay. I just the thing that immediately gets

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Speaker 1: me going is the idea that if you don't do

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Speaker 1: X this year, then you've been your year is a

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Speaker 1: wash and you haven't lived up to your potential. That's

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Speaker 1: interesting because it really is a framing. It's a perspective, definitely,

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Speaker 1: and it's up to you, I think, to to define

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Speaker 1: your own perspective. But I was watching cable TV, which

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Speaker 1: is not something I do too much of, but yesterday

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Speaker 1: while I was doing little to no work at all,

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Speaker 1: and all the weight Watchers commercials are on full blast

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Speaker 1: right now, all the joint a gym lose ten pounds,

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Speaker 1: all those sort of services and products that people want

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Speaker 1: to hawk at you right now because they know that

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Speaker 1: we are all making the same ten resolutions. Definitely, I

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Speaker 1: always someone who kind of rolls my eyes whenever things

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Speaker 1: that start out seeming they're like well intentioned becomes sort

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Speaker 1: of hyper steeped. And we know you're thinking about getting

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Speaker 1: your life together, here's a million commercials about why you

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Speaker 1: should be going to the gym or do winning weight Watchers.

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Speaker 1: It almost feels like it's exploiting a positive internal thing

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Speaker 1: that people are feeling to like make them sign up

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Speaker 1: for a gym membership or something. Um. And so I think,

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Speaker 1: I whenever when I see the commercials on a loop

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Speaker 1: as you've just described, on like this again um And

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Speaker 1: also does make me feel bad because I know I'm

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Speaker 1: the person who should be probably doing it, and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do it, And then there's me on

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Speaker 1: the other side of the spectrum who is quite literally

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Speaker 1: hawking things at people right now who want to be

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Speaker 1: overachiever list making efficiency junkies like myself. So I take

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Speaker 1: no offense at the at the very valid point you've

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Speaker 1: just made. But I also I am laughing over here

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing, because

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Speaker 1: I like the proactivity of getting my stuff together at

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Speaker 1: the top of the new year. There's something wrong with it,

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Speaker 1: And I think that you are in good company because

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Speaker 1: so many people are buying organizational tools and getting their

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Speaker 1: house cleaned and all of that, like to start the

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Speaker 1: new year off fresh. I think that's a very very

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Speaker 1: positive thing. So I don't want to be I don't

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Speaker 1: want to say that that is a bad impulse at all.

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Speaker 1: I just I think around this time of year, you

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Speaker 1: see so much about it, it feels a little bit

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Speaker 1: weird for me. I also something that one of my

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Speaker 1: biggest pet peeves, speaking of people who are going to

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Speaker 1: the gym and weight watchers. I hate how people who

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Speaker 1: go to the gym regularly the way that you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to sometimes shame people who are sort of doing it

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Speaker 1: for the new year's solution, right, Like like Oh, the

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Speaker 1: gym is going to be full of people who are

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Speaker 1: just there because it's New Year's I hate that. I

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Speaker 1: think we shouldn't. So I'm very mindful of not shaming

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Speaker 1: people who are taking the New Year's plunge and getting organized,

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Speaker 1: getting a planner, getting their house cleaned, you know, whatever

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Speaker 1: the thing is they're doing. I don't want to shame them, right,

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Speaker 1: And so that's it's such an interesting point how New

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Speaker 1: Year's resolutions have become a very judgmental sting that people

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Speaker 1: have very strong opinions on. So I just want to

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Speaker 1: name that as we start this episode. I think it's

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Speaker 1: clear kind of where we stand a New Year's resolutions,

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Speaker 1: and that's going to make this conversation even more rich,

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Speaker 1: I think, I hope. So I like it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm excited I'm going to resolve for the New Year

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Speaker 1: that it's going to be a rich conversation. Oh I

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Speaker 1: like that. Wait, so what are if you did have

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Speaker 1: to name a single or any real resolution for your

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Speaker 1: bridget what would it be? Myen resolutions? I mean they're

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Speaker 1: so dumb. Uh. One is to drink more water. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of an easy, it's super easy. So it's like

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Speaker 1: maybe I'll do it, maybe I won't. Another This one

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Speaker 1: is more serious. It's I'm notoriously bad at email, Like

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Speaker 1: you text me, fine, if you teach at me, fine,

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Speaker 1: something about an email. I'm like, oh, i'll do look

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Speaker 1: us later than I forget. And then it's almost feels

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Speaker 1: like it's two it's gone too long to respond, and

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Speaker 1: it's like, now it's almost rude if I do reply.

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Speaker 1: So I want to reply to emails in a timely manner. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I just unsubscribed myself from no less than seventy five

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Speaker 1: newsletters for that very reason. That's a good idea. Maybe

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Speaker 1: that's a that could be another one. I'm gonna throw

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Speaker 1: that in the mix. I'll subscribe to list serves and

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Speaker 1: head letters that don't bring me joy or then I

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Speaker 1: don't read. I just feel guilty for having them in

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Speaker 1: my inbox and never reading them. So I'd rather unsubscribe

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Speaker 1: than not have them at all. That's a good result.

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Speaker 1: I just switched to inbox from Google to which is

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Speaker 1: a different email. So I'll have talking more about that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because that's definitely on my list. So would you like

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Speaker 1: to hear a resolution? I have? Let's hear it. So

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Speaker 1: this is like an overarching theme. But I want to

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Speaker 1: meet eighteen my year of fun. I literally worked too

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Speaker 1: much last year for my own liking, so I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to prioritize fun all year long. We'll see how long

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Speaker 1: I left. It's very emily to pencil in and like

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Speaker 1: calendar out some fun. I bet you have a spreadsheet

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Speaker 1: that says I already there's already a working fun And

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Speaker 1: honestly it's like every single month for the year and

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Speaker 1: a minimum. But I think this is a good way

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Speaker 1: to look at it. From the bird's eye view. I

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Speaker 1: have like something extraordinarily fun. I'm looking forward to. What is?

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Speaker 1: Do you want to share what it is? For this moment?

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Speaker 1: Is for this quarter, I am going to Columbia, my

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Speaker 1: mother's country of origin, with my mom. We're flying out

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Speaker 1: on her sixtieth birthday for a week long trip to

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Speaker 1: Bogata and then we're backpacking near Santa Martha and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna go visit some family that I've never met before.

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Speaker 1: I've never been to Columbia before, and it's going to

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Speaker 1: be this mother daughter bonding drip and I'm so excited.

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Speaker 1: That sounds really fun. It's really fun, and it's been.

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Speaker 1: I've been trying to make that happen for like ten years,

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Speaker 1: so you're fun it's happening. I like it all right.

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Speaker 1: I think we should take a quick break, and when

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Speaker 1: we come back, I want to really dive into the

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Speaker 1: first and most important reason behind why I think New

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Speaker 1: Year's resolutions are in fact a good opportunity to be intentional.

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Speaker 1: As you said, bridget about your new year. We'll be

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Speaker 1: right back after this quick break, and we're back and

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Speaker 1: we are talking through New Year's resolutions, and especially thinking

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Speaker 1: back to the Role Overload series we did towards the

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Speaker 1: end of last year, I want to acknowledge that if

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Speaker 1: you are resonating with those episodes and you are feeling like, hell, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I am a working daughter, or a working mother, or

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Speaker 1: just a single lady who wants to think critically about

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Speaker 1: the goals I'm pursuing the roles I am playing the

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Speaker 1: hats I'm wearing. This is actually a really good time

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Speaker 1: to make the new year a fresh start. In fact,

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Speaker 1: a bunch of interesting research around behavioral psychology and how

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Speaker 1: temporal landmarks like the first of the year or the

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Speaker 1: first day of the week, the first day of the month,

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Speaker 1: or the first day of a new season have been

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Speaker 1: shown to be really salient in terms of sustaining motivation

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Speaker 1: when pursuing new goals. Catherine Milkman and her co authors

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Speaker 1: have produced research showing that the fresh start effect is

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Speaker 1: very real. As it turns out, we are much more

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Speaker 1: likely to have high motivation and more likely to actually

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Speaker 1: sustain that motivation when we capitalize on temporal landmarks on

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Speaker 1: the start of something new. Is basically like you're riding

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Speaker 1: a wave of motivation which is more likely to be

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Speaker 1: piqued at the start of a new even psychological landmark.

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Speaker 1: But what I love about that part of the research

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Speaker 1: is that it doesn't have to necessarily be tied to

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Speaker 1: the first of the year. It can be a Monday,

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Speaker 1: or your birthday or the first of the month. And

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Speaker 1: I think thinking about your holes in ways that are

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Speaker 1: tied to some temporal thing makes sense. And I like

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Speaker 1: the idea that it doesn't just have to be January one,

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Speaker 1: here's what I'm doing for the year. It can be

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Speaker 1: anything that feels like a significant temporal landmark in your

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Speaker 1: life exactly. It could be a birthday. Totally agree. I

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Speaker 1: think baking into this idea that it can be repeatable

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Speaker 1: that it can fit any kind of different life, whether

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Speaker 1: or not something that you're someone that the first of

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Speaker 1: the year is a big deal for you. I think

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Speaker 1: it's better than having it be first of the year.

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Speaker 1: This is your one time to make a new plan,

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Speaker 1: and if you don't do it, then you suck right well.

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Speaker 1: What's interesting is that these temporal landmarks are tend to

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Speaker 1: be days that stand out to you, so they just

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Speaker 1: have to be meaningful to you to generate that fresh

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Speaker 1: start feeling, kind of like that blank slate feeling that

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Speaker 1: really does come up for a lot of us at

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Speaker 1: the start of the new year. But I also like

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Speaker 1: to think of this as something that happens every month,

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Speaker 1: the fresh start that is the top of the month.

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Speaker 1: I am way more productive and think more strategically about

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Speaker 1: what I want to get done in a new month

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Speaker 1: at the top of the month, as opposed to the

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Speaker 1: middle or the end of a month. Same thing with

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Speaker 1: the start of a new week. I'm a Monday person.

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Speaker 1: I like mondays. I know that makes me a weirdo,

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Speaker 1: but I like the fresh start feeling of hitting the

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Speaker 1: ground running at the top of a new week. And

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Speaker 1: what's interesting is researchers think they postulate that these temporal

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Speaker 1: landmarks tend to be effective because they make us feel

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Speaker 1: more distant from our past failures. I know, it's kind

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Speaker 1: of like it's almost like you can presume that I

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Speaker 1: can be someone new. That's a really positive, aspirational way

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Speaker 1: of freaking it. I think exactly. Milkman herself rights. The

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Speaker 1: fresh start effect hinges on the idea that we don't

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Speaker 1: feel as perfect about our past as we like. We're

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Speaker 1: always striving to be better, and when we can wipe

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Speaker 1: out all those failures and look at a clean slate,

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Speaker 1: it makes us feel more capable and drives us forward.

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Speaker 1: That's like all those hashtag new year knew me posts

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Speaker 1: on Instagram. To be clear, I am that bad. I

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Speaker 1: have not hashtag that just yet, but don't give me

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Speaker 1: the ideas. The baseline here is if you feel like

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Speaker 1: the new year is an opportunity for you to psychologically

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Speaker 1: leave your past failures behind, capitalize on it. And that's

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Speaker 1: why I like to seize that opportunity because if you

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Speaker 1: think about it, it it only comes around once a year.

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Speaker 1: Although I like to do this kind of a thing

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Speaker 1: on my birthday too. I always think about, like lessons

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Speaker 1: learned on my birthday from the past year more so

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Speaker 1: than goals for the for the next year. I like that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know. I've started this tradition about three

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Speaker 1: years ago. Brad the Boo and I do an annual

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Speaker 1: like collective New Year's resolutions list, which is way different

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Speaker 1: like for like for the couple. Yeah, are you comfortable

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Speaker 1: sharing one of your collective resolutions? Sure? Um, so we

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Speaker 1: just did this and it's hanging up at home in

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Speaker 1: the in the kitchen cabinet that you have to open

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Speaker 1: to get to the coffee. Well, you're a fund was

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Speaker 1: on there, because that's kind of a collective one. Make

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Speaker 1: good use of our companion pass. So this is not

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Speaker 1: a Southwest ad, but I am a Southwest super user

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Speaker 1: and last year I traveled a hundred and twenty thousand

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Speaker 1: miles and earned a companion Pass, which means Brad flies

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Speaker 1: for free anywhere that I fly anytime we want. So

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Speaker 1: we want to look back on and say we made

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Speaker 1: very good use of that companion pass. That's a very

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Speaker 1: good goal. Yeah. I mean I feel like it's flexible,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's not like a smart goal, strategic measurable

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Speaker 1: actiona blah blah blah. But it's a it's a resolution.

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Speaker 1: It's like that. I like the idea of shared goals

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Speaker 1: for people that have, you know, shared lives. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think for anybody who has shared lives, even if it's

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Speaker 1: a house goal with a bunch of roommates or a

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Speaker 1: family goal, I find that that collective articulation is more

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Speaker 1: powerful than writing this high stakes lift down for myself

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Speaker 1: and looking at it and it feeling really daunting and scary.

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Speaker 1: The bottom line is, capitalize on the fresh start effect

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Speaker 1: if it works for you. If New Year's didn't feel

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Speaker 1: like a fresh start for you, start on Monday, or

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Speaker 1: use the next top of the months that you have,

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Speaker 1: or if you work the kind of job that has

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Speaker 1: a season. I have a friend who's a wedding planner,

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Speaker 1: and so for her, the beginning of wedding season I

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Speaker 1: forget when she marks it. I want to say it's May,

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Speaker 1: but for her that marks sort of the beginning of

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Speaker 1: her professional year. For a lot of folks in politics,

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Speaker 1: election days and things like that are good temporal markers,

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Speaker 1: and so I think it's important to remember for your

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Speaker 1: own life, for your own industry, for whatever you're doing,

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Speaker 1: and wherever you're at. These temporal markers can be their

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Speaker 1: own thing that the rest of us don't even have exactly,

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Speaker 1: and you have to really make them if they don't

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Speaker 1: exist naturally in your life. So my mom works shift work,

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Speaker 1: and she'll do twelve hours at a time, three or

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Speaker 1: four days a week, and there isn't this regularity to

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Speaker 1: her schedule per se. So sometimes you have to build

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Speaker 1: that structure in if you want to feel like you

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Speaker 1: can capitalize on it. You know, if if if it's

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Speaker 1: not naturally a part of your rhythm. Now, how you

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Speaker 1: capitalize on the fresh start effect is also super important.

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Speaker 1: I have a very controversial feeling about vision boards. I'm

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Speaker 1: wondering what yours might be, Bridget I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you're a vision board person, could you see me? No,

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Speaker 1: no shade on them. I have plenty of shade for

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Speaker 1: vision boards. So here here's what my shade is. It's

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Speaker 1: not that you know, cutting and pasting or anything is

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Speaker 1: like essentially basic about it. My beef with vision boards

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Speaker 1: is that it's not good. According to the research, it

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Speaker 1: is actually counter productive to over invest in your clarifying

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Speaker 1: of your destination. The more times you pin your dream

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Speaker 1: house on a pinterest board instead of focusing on the

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Speaker 1: plan how you're going to get there, the journey over

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Speaker 1: the destination. The less mental faculties are left over for

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Speaker 1: you to focus on the hard part, which is the how.

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Speaker 1: So I get it. If you're not quite sure what

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Speaker 1: your vision is, if you're not quite sure what you're

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Speaker 1: aiming for, you definitely want to spend some time there.

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Speaker 1: But if you have a pretty solid idea of where

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Speaker 1: you want to be heading this year, don't overly focus

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Speaker 1: on the destination. Instead, get busy planning for the journey

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Speaker 1: to get there. What's fascinating is that some research has

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Speaker 1: actually shown that an over emphasis of focusing on the

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Speaker 1: goals alone without focusing on the action plan can make

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Speaker 1: you feel it sort of tricks your brain into feeling

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Speaker 1: like you've already achieved them, or like you've already made

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Speaker 1: significant progress. Spoiler alert, your vision board didn't actually make

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Speaker 1: any progress in you achieving that vision. I'm so sorry

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Speaker 1: to break the news, and I'm going to get hate

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Speaker 1: for this, and I'm ready for it, y'all, but I

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Speaker 1: have I have a real strong dislike of vision boards

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Speaker 1: because they can actually take up precious time and effort

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Speaker 1: that could be focused on the plan. Well, I saw

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Speaker 1: a great quote, and I hate like inspirational quotes, but

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Speaker 1: this one I did think, Oh, that that's I'm down with.

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Speaker 1: That said go to sleep with dreams and wake up

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Speaker 1: with plans. And I like that because it's good to

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Speaker 1: have dreams, it's good to visualized dreams. But if you're

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Speaker 1: not planning for how you're going to get there exactly

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Speaker 1: like you said, it can feel like you've made significant

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Speaker 1: investments in a plan when in fact, you just thought

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Speaker 1: about it and it sounds really nice and it seems

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Speaker 1: really cool, and like you know, that house that you

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Speaker 1: want looks great on Pinterest and this and that, but

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Speaker 1: you haven't actually done the steps to get you closer

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Speaker 1: to having a plan for how you're going to achieve

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Speaker 1: it exactly, And it can make you feel like you've

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Speaker 1: already done something, which might demotivate you from actually working

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Speaker 1: on the journey. There was some research done where they

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Speaker 1: took a group of students who had a test that

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Speaker 1: they were studying for. I think the test was like

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks away. They asked one subset one

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Speaker 1: third of the students to close their eyes and visualize

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Speaker 1: themselves acing the test. They asked another group, a third

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Speaker 1: of the student body, to close their eyes, visualize themselves

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Speaker 1: acing the test, and then write like one or two

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Speaker 1: sentences for how they were going to do that, therefore

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Speaker 1: provoking them to really make a plan. And then the

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Speaker 1: other third they did nothing at all, no exercise, no visualization,

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Speaker 1: no planning. That's the control group. Which of those three

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Speaker 1: groups do you think did the best on the test?

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Speaker 1: Definitely the group that wrote about their plans right, exactly

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Speaker 1: as one might imagine. However, the most fascinating part of

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Speaker 1: this research is that the control group they are performed

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Speaker 1: the group that was told to visualize success without planning. See,

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Speaker 1: that doesn't surprise me at all, mostly because it's how

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Speaker 1: I live my life. I'm not going to plan for this,

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Speaker 1: and it kind of might go okay, like, is not ya?

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Speaker 1: That is not at all the conclusion I'm going. But

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Speaker 1: what's fascinating is that visualizing success alone without the second

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Speaker 1: more important part of how you're going to make that happen,

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Speaker 1: can be worse than not visualizing at all. It really

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Speaker 1: takes me back to my political organizing days, when you're

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Speaker 1: asking people to make plans for how they will get

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Speaker 1: to the polls. And so if you say will you

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Speaker 1: vote for X y Z candidate and they're like great, yes,

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Speaker 1: If you say okay, great, how are you getting to

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Speaker 1: the polls and you make them think about it, they're

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Speaker 1: much more likely to actually vote if they even spend

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds saying while I'm going to take the bus

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Speaker 1: at my lunch break to go vote. Yes, If they

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Speaker 1: just say yes, I'll vote for X y Z candidate,

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Speaker 1: they're less likely to actually follow through because they haven't

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Speaker 1: even visualized themselves taking that action exactly, because it's not

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Speaker 1: always the intention that's not there, it's the plan, and

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Speaker 1: lives are busy. People are busy. I think that's such

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Speaker 1: a great example. And by doing that mental exercise like

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Speaker 1: you just described, it gives the voter, or really anyone

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Speaker 1: with a goal, the opportunity to predict and overcome roadblocks

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Speaker 1: before they arrive. So if you had asked me if

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Speaker 1: I was going out to vote, and I said yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take the bus, it might be in that

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Speaker 1: very moment that I realized, oh wait, I've moved since

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Speaker 1: the last time I voted. I actually don't know where

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Speaker 1: my pulling location is. It might help me think about

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Speaker 1: for the first time, and it spur me to foresee

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Speaker 1: that I have a challenge that I wouldn't have otherwise

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Speaker 1: foreseen and could have prevented me from voting. So it's it.

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Speaker 1: It provides the mental opportunity for you to predict a

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Speaker 1: roadblock and predict an obstacle. Why are you smiling at

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Speaker 1: me like that? Am I geeking out now? That that

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Speaker 1: was just a good point? I was just I was

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Speaker 1: just like, OK, that's a good point. I think we

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Speaker 1: should talk a little bit more about different obstacles and

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Speaker 1: how you can overcome them to meet our goals. After

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Speaker 1: a quick break and we're back just talking through some

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Speaker 1: ways that we can power through the obstacles that are

430
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 1: standing in the way between us and our New Year's goals.

431
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 1: And one of them something that I totally identify with

432
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 1: is even though you've got a clear goal, even though

433
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 1: you're you have a plan for how you're gonna get there,

434
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,639
Speaker 1: it's still feeling sort of sluggish and unmotivated when it

435
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 1: comes to actually putting that plan into motion. Totally. I mean,

436
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions wouldn't be what they are unless they

437
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 1: were hard, right, Like goal attainment is tricky. That's why

438
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 1: there's such a wealth of research around them and products

439
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 1: and services to help people make them happen. Because it's

440
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 1: not that setting goals is hard, because people love setting goals,

441
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 1: myself included. It's sustaining your motivation that gets tricky. And

442
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 1: our bodies naturally kind of operate on a rhythm, and

443
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 1: so does our motivation. We get very excited at the

444
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: beginning of fresh starts, and of course we get excited

445
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 1: when we're close to the finish line, but it's the

446
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 1: slog in between that can be not exactly motivating. But

447
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 1: I found this one incredible little trick that has been

448
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 1: really helpful to myself personally, but also fascinating when it

449
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 1: comes to business cases for it, and the idea is

450
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: to give yourself a head start. This comes right out

451
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 1: of one of my favorite books, Switched by Chip and

452
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 1: Dan Heath, all about how to Change when Change Is Hard,

453
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 1: which is one of the books that I completely geek

454
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: out about when it comes to behavior change in psychology

455
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 1: and cognitive science. So in their book they give the

456
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: six sample of a car wash that used loyalty cards

457
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 1: to try to create repeat customers. And again, this is

458
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: a business case, but I think it can be absolutely

459
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: applied to your personal goals, resolutions, and life at large.

460
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: One set of customers were given a punch car that

461
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 1: needed ten stamps or whatever to get a free car wash,

462
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 1: whereas another set of customers that the same car wash

463
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 1: was given this card with twelve stamps to get but

464
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: they were already given two stamps when they were handed

465
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 1: the card. So that second group of customers were given

466
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 1: the sensation that they kind of had a free start.

467
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: They had a sense of investment, like they've been already

468
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,120
Speaker 1: given a gift of being ahead of the curve. They've

469
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 1: been given a head start. Well, that makes perfect sense

470
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 1: to me. It's that feeling of when you do a

471
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: to do list, when you cross off the first thing

472
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: because you've already done it. You're like, oh, I'm while

473
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,360
Speaker 1: out of my way, even though it's a gimme, it's

474
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 1: a freebe I do that all the time. So if

475
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: you're making a list, number one, make list, doing it

476
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: right now done. Sometimes I make it to do list

477
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: just because I've done something I want to cross off,

478
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,719
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, I just said the first thing

479
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: of the day, should I should make a hole to

480
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,160
Speaker 1: do list? And across that went on. Yeah, it's iun silly,

481
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 1: but these little head starts really give us that sensation

482
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: in our brain of that feeling of completion, so you

483
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 1: can move on to the next thing. I think it

484
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 1: sets yourself up for success. Right. What's interesting is even

485
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: though both of those groups have the same distance to

486
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 1: the goal, the response was significantly higher for the group

487
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 1: with a pre punched headstart card. So your motivation is

488
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: spurred on by progress itself. It's this idea that progress

489
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 1: begets progress. Progress is in and of itself, a motivation booster.

490
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: So the idea is to give yourself a head start

491
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 1: wherever you can, however you can to show your own momentum,

492
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: because that momentum will help you move forward. I think

493
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: specifically applying that to New Year's resolutions, you can think

494
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: about the things that you've already done to get yourself

495
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,360
Speaker 1: on the path to making that resolution happen. And so

496
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: if my resolution was to drink more water, first of all,

497
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: drinking water right now. So, but I've already looked into

498
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 1: ways to make my own felter at home and things

499
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 1: like that, things that I know will help me meet

500
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:15,919
Speaker 1: that goal, And so I can say, well, I've already

501
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: taken up even though it's very cursory and like it's

502
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: not it's not maybe, Yeah, I mean its absolutely And

503
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: I think it sort of goes back to that other

504
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: mantra that you hear a lot of, like celebrating small winds,

505
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: because when you take stock of what you've done already,

506
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 1: when you break down a big goal into tiny little

507
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: steps and then check those tiny little steps off, even

508
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: if it's the first step you're making on a to

509
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 1: do list, or if you're sipping out of your water

510
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 1: bottle right now, check that. That creates more momentum behind you.

511
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 1: And so I think not short changing yourself in acknowledging

512
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 1: the progress you've already started or what makes you already

513
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: uniquely qualified to make good on those resolutions, taking stock

514
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 1: of that is important. Yeah, it really can help us

515
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: achieve our goals. And what's funny is that very top

516
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 1: of the episode we talked about how powerful perspective. It's

517
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: not like one of these punch card holders had a

518
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 1: shorter distance than the other, it was their perspective on

519
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 1: that distance that was changed. This might be kind of

520
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: a weird example, but there's this commercial on TV for

521
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: credit monitoring service. And something that I like so much

522
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 1: about what this commercial does is rather than targeting people

523
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 1: who are really concerned about their credit and like I've

524
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: been monitoring their credit forever because they have good credit

525
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 1: and they want to keep good credit, it's clearly targeting

526
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 1: people who have not been doing that, and so the

527
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: idea is to like make it not scary. And the

528
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 1: person in the commercial always says, Okay, so my credit

529
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 1: is not great, but I'm I'm on top of it now.

530
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 1: I'm not just hiding from it now, and that's progress.

531
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 1: And I really love that commercial because, you know, it

532
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: highlights the fact that sometimes just making a plan for

533
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 1: how you're going to stay on top of this and

534
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: you know, taking a look at it, sometimes that is

535
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 1: a step and should be celebrated and that gets you

536
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 1: on the on the right path. I think that's such

537
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: a great example, because I'm times awareness is the first

538
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: step in a lot of different goals, and especially money goals.

539
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 1: I think another way that we can get our own

540
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: mindset right around resolutions so that it sets us up

541
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 1: for success and not shame is to really think about

542
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 1: how your inner voice can be on your team. So

543
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 1: often that inner voice is full of should like oh,

544
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 1: I should be going to the gym the right way,

545
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: like regularly, and all of that other bs that gets

546
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: leveled upon us as human beings and especially as women.

547
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: I think it was Tiffany Doofu in our episode around

548
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 1: rollover Load Working Mothers who really said it's so critically

549
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 1: important to get crystal clear on what is in your

550
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: job description for being a good mother, what obligations you

551
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: deem most important to feeling like you're coming through for

552
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: the folks in your life, Not the job descriptions that

553
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: are floating out there are handed to you from predecessors

554
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 1: or society, but really getting clear on what is important

555
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,959
Speaker 1: to you and when you can do that for whatever

556
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: resolutions you have and get your inner dialogue on track

557
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: or on your side. I think your perception of yourself

558
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 1: while you're in the thick of goal pursuit, while you're

559
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: in the slog of making good on those resolutions, can

560
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: have a huge impact on motivation and drive. I think

561
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: that's so right, and I think it really comes down

562
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 1: to the story that we tell ourselves in our head

563
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: about who we are and what it means. And I

564
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: think it was the episode around work fails, where we

565
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 1: talked about the difference between saying I'm bad at math

566
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: and I failed that math test because I'm a screw up,

567
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 1: and saying I failed that math test because I didn't

568
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: study hard enough and if I had been more prepared,

569
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: maybe I would have done better. It's in between making

570
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: our goals not about who we are, but what we're

571
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: doing in our behavior. Absolutely. I think that's Carol Dwex

572
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 1: research around growth mindset versus a fixed trade mindset. Right,

573
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 1: This idea that I'm a screw up or I'm just lazier,

574
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: I'm just not a gym person, versus here's what I've

575
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: done in the past, here's what I'd like to do

576
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: differently moving forward without shame attached to it, which is

577
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: easier said than done in a world that really likes

578
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 1: to judge and shame women, especially working mothers, all the

579
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: day and time. So I think it's about getting clear

580
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: on what's important to you, but also acknowledging your own

581
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 1: inner monologue can be something that helps or hinders you.

582
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 1: I have a good example from this from my own life. Uh,

583
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: something about me is that I am notorious for putting

584
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 1: off going to the dentist because I'm terrified of the dentist.

585
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's awful. Sometimes I cry, and basically

586
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: I I it was one of those things where I

587
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: had to go and I realized I can only go

588
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: to the dentist if I may, if I call and

589
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: make an appointment. Some a friend someone is like, did

590
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: you make your appointment? They follow up with me, and

591
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: then the dentist of receptionist whoever is checking it with

592
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: me to be like, Okay, your appointment is on Thursday,

593
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: you're gonna come. You're gonna come Otherwise, As it gets

594
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 1: closer and closer, I'm definitely gonna play because I don't

595
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 1: like going. And I once told on one gee, I

596
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 1: wish I could like get a handle on this fear.

597
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: It's so irrational. I hate that it takes me this

598
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 1: entire production to go. I I'm an adult. I should

599
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 1: be able to just go. And my friend said, no,

600
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 1: you know what you need to be able to meet

601
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: this goal. It just so happens that for you to

602
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: go to the dentist, you have to have a friend

603
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 1: make sure you go, and that a receptionist has to

604
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: be very vocal with you to make sure that you're

605
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: actually going to go and that's okay, it's you don't

606
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: have to attach shame to it. It is what it is.

607
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: And so for me, I had internalized that I was

608
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: this crazy, irrational person because I had to have as

609
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: a friend didn't ask me if I was actually gonna go,

610
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,480
Speaker 1: I wouldn't go, instead just changing that story in my

611
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 1: head and making that story be about I know what

612
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: I need to have for me to actually go to

613
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 1: the dentist, and here's what it is, and here's all

614
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get it, and that is the way that

615
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: I go. And that's you being a responsible adult. Yeah, yeah,

616
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: I think that's a really excellent reframing of what is

617
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,959
Speaker 1: in fact a very responsible set of behaviors because you

618
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: know yourself. And if we can shed the shame and

619
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: all the should in our inner monologue and beat ourselves

620
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: up a little less, we can actually cheer ourselves on

621
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 1: a little more, which again it's easier than done, but

622
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: research shows that if you take the negative mantra, whatever

623
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 1: it is that's running through your mind. I know my

624
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: little sister zz He, who is now a friend of

625
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 1: the pod and you know guest on the pod in

626
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 1: the past, she used to say to me, Emily, I'm

627
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: just lazy. I can't make myself do this. And I

628
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: used to say, Isabel, you're not lazy. What is it

629
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 1: that you need to do to change your behavior? What

630
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: is it that works for you focusing on the bright

631
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: spots and then reframing that sort of negative story that's

632
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 1: in your head into something that frames it in a

633
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 1: more productive, positive and growth oriented way. It's It's one

634
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 1: of those things that I hope our listeners can catch

635
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 1: themselves doing moving forward. It's one of those things that

636
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: might be very unconscious until you start paying attention to

637
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: how you're talking to yourself, because half the battle ver

638
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: is making the unconscious more conscious. A lot of what

639
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 1: we do is totally mindless. A lot of the behaviors

640
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: we have, shopping decisions, we ache, purchases, routines right in

641
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: and of itself, embodies the idea that it's routine, it's habitual.

642
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: It's so hard to change what we're not consciously doing,

643
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 1: and when you really look at what we're not conscious

644
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,479
Speaker 1: of doing, it's a pretty wide spectrum. There was this

645
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: really interesting article published in the New York Times December

646
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: one of last year, now called why Trying new things

647
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 1: is so hard to do. That shed light on this

648
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: challenge around changing habits that are so unconscious. And this

649
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 1: was written by an economist who admits in the first line,

650
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: I drink a lot of diet coke two leads a day,

651
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 1: which from a health perspective, we're not even going to

652
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: touch that. Okay, no shade, no shame there. So that's

653
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: almost six cans worth of diet coke. He says, I'm

654
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: not proud of the habit, but I really like the

655
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: taste of diet coke. And yet, as a frugal economist,

656
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 1: he knows if he were to switch to a generic

657
00:33:55,480 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: brand that savings would add up significantly and over the

658
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 1: course of a lifetime, you could save a whole bunch

659
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 1: of money, which as a frugal economist he would be

660
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 1: interested in doing. And yet he doesn't want to experiment

661
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: even for a day, even once he's never sampled generic soda. Well,

662
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 1: what's fascinating is that he goes into how so many

663
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: of the choices that we make throughout our lives are

664
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: of this kind of habitual variety. He says that human

665
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 1: behaviors are this habitual variety where we're just this is

666
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: our habit. This is our thing that we do, and

667
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 1: we're not going to deviate from it, even if we

668
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 1: know it could save us money or time. Think about

669
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 1: things like generic aspirin, where scientists have already said if

670
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: you buy the cheap target brand, it's exactly the same

671
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: thing as that you know, whatever name brand, people still

672
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,959
Speaker 1: don't do it because it's his habitual thing. We get

673
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: into this idea of this is what I do, this

674
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 1: is my habit, and that's so hard to break, and

675
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: it's it's like a risk aversion. We fear. We have

676
00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:00,359
Speaker 1: an outsized fear of the potential being just pointed. When

677
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 1: you go out to eat at your favorite restaurant. I

678
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: know my favorite restaurant here in d C. I always

679
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 1: ordered the same thing because you don't want to go

680
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 1: to your favorite restaurant and risk having something that's less

681
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 1: good than your favorite thing on the menu. Right this idea,

682
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 1: we we overestimate the risk and we greatly underestimate the

683
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: potential rewards of a little bit of personal experimentation. He

684
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 1: even did a little bit of deviation from routine can

685
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 1: cause you to discover a brand new dishans even better.

686
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: It's so true when we were growing up. My mom

687
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,959
Speaker 1: always kept this one brand of lotion in the house,

688
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: Luba Dorm, And as I got older, I just thought, like,

689
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 1: we are a Luberderm family. We wear Lubater Emotion. This

690
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: is the only lotion that that is for us. And

691
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: I remember going to CVS ones and they were out,

692
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, well, I guess do I

693
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: get the idea that I would get something else? I

694
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: had just in my head was like, I wear this

695
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 1: brand of motion, the lotion that I wear, and I

696
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: don't even remember if I bought something else. I just

697
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 1: was like the idea of picking that plunge of buying

698
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 1: something new, something different, just seemed so difficult to do.

699
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: You're making so many marketing professionals listening to this podcast

700
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 1: feel very satisfied right now, because it's their jobs to

701
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: make you that loyal to a brand, just like this

702
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 1: economist describes in the article, and almost just kind of

703
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 1: becomes part of the fabric of how we think of

704
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 1: ourselves exactly. He goes on to say that quote many

705
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 1: so called choices are not really choices at all. Walking

706
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: down the supermarket aisle, I did not make a considered

707
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: decision about soda I don't even pause at the generics.

708
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: I act without thinking. I automatically grab bottles of diet

709
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,760
Speaker 1: coke as I wheel my cart by. So when thinking

710
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 1: about New Year's resolutions and changing behaviors that can be

711
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,919
Speaker 1: so hard to change because we are habitual creatures as

712
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 1: human beings, keep in mind that the potential rewards are

713
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: greater than you might think for a little bit of

714
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 1: personal experimentation, and the potential risks are often less severe

715
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 1: than we think they'll be, and a little bit of

716
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: you know, deviation from our routine can be extremely good

717
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: for us. It's just that, you know, making that deviation

718
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,400
Speaker 1: stick can be a little harder. And I think that

719
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 1: even goes back to the point that you were making about,

720
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: you know, the story that we have in our head.

721
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 1: Even that seems like a habitual behavior that if you

722
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: can just snap yourself out of it or catch yourself

723
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 1: before you fall down that rabbit hole of I'm lazy,

724
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 1: it means I suck and this resolution is not gonna

725
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 1: get done and blah blah blah, and like if you

726
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: can just stop yourself and pause, you can you can

727
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: get out of that. That's the first step, just being

728
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,399
Speaker 1: aware and hearing the inner monologue and saying whoa, whoa, whoa.

729
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take that phrasing. I'm gonna take that story

730
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 1: in my head and reframe it. That in and of

731
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: itself is a huge achievement and again celebrating small winds.

732
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:47,720
Speaker 1: Sometimes awareness is a first great step in the right direction.

733
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 1: The other way to do it is something you already

734
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 1: alluded to with your brilliant dentist strategy, which is the

735
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: last piece of advice that I feel. It is very

736
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 1: stuff Mom never told you, and it reminds me of

737
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: our last eisode of is to not go it alone.

738
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 1: I always say this in goal pursuit when it comes

739
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: to your career, especially going it alone doesn't get you

740
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,359
Speaker 1: there any faster. It's probably a lot less fun, and

741
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: not to mention, the research backs up that checking in

742
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 1: with friends or accountability buddies on New Year's resolutions and

743
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: goals can boost your chances of actually achieving them by

744
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 1: about thirty three percent according to some of the most

745
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: conservative estimates out there. It's also like eighty percent at

746
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: more a little more fluffy studies that are out there,

747
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 1: but a thirty three percent improvement on the likelihood of

748
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 1: achieving a goal is well worth it um in my book,

749
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: and this refers to some of the recent research done

750
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: by Professor Dr Gail Matthews at Dominican University. Yeah, I

751
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: found that it can be really difficult for some of

752
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 1: us to ask for help when we need it. But

753
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: I like to remember that when you ask a friend

754
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: or a colleague or appear for help, you're actually modeling

755
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,319
Speaker 1: that it's okay for them to do the same. And

756
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: so not only should you be thinking about it for

757
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: it being a good idea for you making your own goals,

758
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,919
Speaker 1: but you could also be thinking about it in terms

759
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: that it can be helpful for others who also have

760
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,760
Speaker 1: their own goals. And so if you're in a community

761
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 1: and you are someone who is is okay with asking

762
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: for help and asking for a little bit of gentle accountability,

763
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,440
Speaker 1: you're making it safe and easier for somebody else to

764
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: do the same. I think that is such a great point.

765
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,399
Speaker 1: We oftentimes confuse asking for help with defeat, at least

766
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 1: I used to as like a recovering perfectionists. I used

767
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 1: to think, if I can't do it alone, I'll have

768
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: to admit my failure and go ask for help. Elsewhere. Now,

769
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: when I'm making a list of things I want to

770
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,799
Speaker 1: get done or resolutions, one of the questions I ask

771
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 1: myself is who else can help me get there faster?

772
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: And therefore it makes the act of asking for help

773
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 1: part of making progress. It's the same thing as making

774
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: progress in my book, And it's also way more fun.

775
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 1: It's way less stressful to go it alone. It's way

776
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 1: more fun to co create something awesome with someone you admire. Definitely,

777
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 1: I completely agree. There's as other little wrinkle in the

778
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 1: research that I absolutely love, which is this term called

779
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: co indulgence. You're gonna like this bridget. So if you

780
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: are feeling like you're having, I don't know, an off day,

781
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: Let's say we're trying to eat healthier in the new year,

782
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 1: just as a hypothetical here, and let's say you and

783
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: I were walking past Larry's homemade ice cream. Have I

784
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 1: told you this story before? Because I feel like I've

785
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: used this example a lot. I use ice cream examples

786
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 1: a lot when I talk about co indulgence. So if

787
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 1: I'm walking past Larry's homemade ice scream in DuPont Circle

788
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 1: alone and I'm like, screw eating healthy, I'm not feeling

789
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 1: like eating healthy, I'm gonna go in and get myself

790
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 1: something delicious here. I might be more likely after that

791
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,879
Speaker 1: to feel a little bit of guilt, a little bit like, oh, man,

792
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 1: I did something bad. I indulged when I was supposed

793
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 1: to be eating healthy, And I might be even more

794
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: likely to say, well, the day's ruined. I guess I'll

795
00:40:58,440 --> 00:40:59,799
Speaker 1: just eat garbage for the rest of the day and

796
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: try again tomorrow. Have you ever experienced something like that? Oh? Yeah,

797
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 1: that's when you're when you're running, when you're running late,

798
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 1: and you're like, man, as well get a coffee because

799
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 1: I'm already late. That's you know how I feel about that.

800
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 1: That's a little bit of indulgence. Yeah, you're like, well,

801
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: the day's ruined, right, Well, I'll try again garbage for

802
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 1: the rest of the day. Exactly. Now. I love this

803
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 1: a little bit of research because, according to UH folks

804
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 1: in the Journal of Consumer Researches came from Michael Low

805
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 1: and Kelly Hawes. UH. They found that with co indulgence,

806
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 1: instead of solely indulging like I would if I went

807
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: so low to get that ice cream, Let's say you

808
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,879
Speaker 1: and I were walking past it together and I turned

809
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 1: to you and I said, screw it. I know we're

810
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 1: supposed to be, you know, eating healthier for the new year,

811
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:46,879
Speaker 1: but let's just let's dive in. Let's get some ice cream.

812
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,319
Speaker 1: If you and I were to indulge together, three amazing

813
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 1: things are more likely to happen. One, our social bond

814
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 1: will be strengthened because we just went through a little

815
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:03,280
Speaker 1: indulgence together. Too, you're more likely to experience less guilt.

816
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: And three because it's a shared indulgence, so it's not

817
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,239
Speaker 1: like I'm being a bad person. It's like, oh, we

818
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 1: just did a bad thing, you know, just inherently kind

819
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: of more fun exactly and naughty, like oh we did

820
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: something bad, skipped class together, Yeah, exactly. And then three,

821
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 1: you're more likely to get back on track faster. So

822
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: you're much more likely if you were to indulge alone,

823
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 1: to say screw at the day's ruin, I'll try again tomorrow.

824
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 1: Then if we were to indulge together, and we'd be like, Okay,

825
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 1: we watched an episode of Housewives in the middle of

826
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 1: the day while we were supposed to get this outline

827
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: for this episode together. I feel personally at right now

828
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 1: that was like from the headlines there, yes, ripped from

829
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 1: our together headlines as opposed to like if we did

830
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 1: that together and then got it, we'd be more likely

831
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: to get it together after that episode. I like that,

832
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 1: and it makes sense because it is like having a

833
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 1: pace car, someone who can help you on track, and

834
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 1: even if you fall behind or have an indulgence now

835
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,359
Speaker 1: and then, who's still there to help you get back

836
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 1: to you need to be because you're both in it

837
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 1: together exactly. And so that's my hope for is that

838
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 1: our amazing stuff Mom never told you community and all

839
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: the women that I will acknowledge this is the this

840
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 1: is like a very bossed up episode because this is

841
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 1: all the research and all of the tactics and all

842
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: of the attainment junkie stuff that I cover at bosst Up.

843
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:36,720
Speaker 1: It's my hope that we as women, especially in can

844
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 1: commit to communal support for one another. We can commit

845
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 1: to whether you're using this fresh start to make new

846
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 1: resolutions or you're gonna make next week your own personal

847
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,959
Speaker 1: fresh start for resolutions, that we can come together, ask

848
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 1: for help when we need it, support each other in

849
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: the slog that is actually making good on these things,

850
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 1: and have a little patience with ourselves and our inner monologue,

851
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: so we can, you know, lift as we climb together. Totally.

852
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: I love that keeps coming back as our sort of

853
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 1: unofficial motto for the show. But it's so true, and

854
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 1: I think certainly in the community of stuff mom ever

855
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: told you listeners has been personally very very helpful in

856
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 1: my own journey as a podcaster and just overall feminist um.

857
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think embracing that is so important. Absolutely,

858
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 1: And I have to make a shameless plug here for

859
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 1: one second because for folks who do want more of

860
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: this kind of research driven goal attainment to do list

861
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: loving junkies like me, there is a free tool that

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00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,800
Speaker 1: we developed a boss Up called the boss Up Life Tracker,

863
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 1: which you can get for free right now on my website.

864
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: We'll link to it in the show notes, and it

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00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: really encompasses all of the New Year's resolutions tactics and

866
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:53,879
Speaker 1: hacks that we covered today to help you overcome overwhelm,

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00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 1: overcome role overload. And I feel like the boss of

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00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 1: your year and feel like you've got a community who's

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00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: encouraging you each and every stuff of a way to

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00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 1: have fun in a in a communal way. In making

871
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: this your best year yet? And now, Smithy listeners, we

872
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: want to hear from you. What is your resolution or

873
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 1: are you not making one? Or maybe you'll think about

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00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: it and make one later. I mean, it's okay to

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00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 1: be a little loosey goosey if that's how this stuff

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00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:25,399
Speaker 1: gets done for you, if you're a bridget. But either way,

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00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 1: I mean, how do these kinds of goals show up

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00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: in your life? Are they things that you like to embrace?

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00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 1: Do you feel weird about them? How have they showed up? Yeah?

880
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 1: Do you love to roll your eyes at New Year's resolutions?

881
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 1: Or or have you already color coded your own planner

882
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: for the year? Because that's definitely the boat that I've

883
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,919
Speaker 1: fall into right now, and I'm dying to hear where

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00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 1: our listeners come in on this. So let's keep this

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00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,359
Speaker 1: conversation going on Instagram at stuff Mom Never Told You,

886
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,879
Speaker 1: And as always, we love getting your emails at mom

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00:45:52,000 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 1: stuff at how stuff works dot com. Tho