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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARBFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckel up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject I put my money on the

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Speaker 1: other dude. Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband is a lot

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Speaker 1: of fun usually, but he always goes overboard with his

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Speaker 1: jokes when he's had too much to drink. We're both

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Speaker 1: thirty eight years old and we've been married four years.

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Speaker 1: I have a group of friends that have adopted my

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Speaker 1: husband and they love him, but they can only take

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Speaker 1: him in small doses because of his sense of humor.

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Speaker 1: He finds flaws in people and makes jokes about them.

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Speaker 1: Last week, my husband insulted my friend that and he

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Speaker 1: got up in my husband's face. My husband was still

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Speaker 1: laughing and Thad was so serious. I had to pull

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Speaker 1: him the other to the side. After Thad's wife said

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Speaker 1: that Thad's veins were popping out on his forehead, which

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Speaker 1: meant he was ready to fight. My husband got angry

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Speaker 1: at me, saying I made it a big deal when

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Speaker 1: I separated them. He said it was just two fellas joking,

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Speaker 1: and then he started yelling at me in front of everyone.

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Speaker 1: I told him that I should have let Thad whip

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Speaker 1: his behind because we're all tired of his efed up personality.

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Speaker 1: I told him that he doesn't do well in social

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Speaker 1: situations and that's why he doesn't have his own friends.

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Speaker 1: I even told him that I'd put all my money

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Speaker 1: on the other dude if he got into a fight.

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Speaker 1: Something came over me. I never meant to embarrass him

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Speaker 1: like that, but I felt better afterwards. The ride home

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Speaker 1: that night was brutal. He had sobered up and he

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Speaker 1: was so hurt by what I said. He told me

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Speaker 1: that he doesn't know how we can move past this.

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Speaker 1: After I embarrassed him like that, our life as we

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Speaker 1: know it has changed forever. He said that he'll never

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Speaker 1: go around my friends again since he's so offensive. Me

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Speaker 1: and my big mouth messed up my marriage. He hasn't

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Speaker 1: talked to me in ten days? How can we move

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Speaker 1: past this? Hm? Well, I mean in the letter, you

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Speaker 1: see that your husband is immature, he drinks too much.

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Speaker 1: You see that. You know that he also doesn't take

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Speaker 1: accountability for what he started. I mean, he's the one

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Speaker 1: that was in the guy's face making jokes about everybody.

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Speaker 1: And I say, don't let him blame you for talking

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Speaker 1: crazy to him when you said he yelled at you

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Speaker 1: in front of everyone first. I mean, what you did

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Speaker 1: was react to how he was handling you at that moment.

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Speaker 1: Now do two things make a right? Two wrongs make

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Speaker 1: a right? Of course not, they don't. And now he's

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Speaker 1: making it worse by blaming this whole blow up on

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Speaker 1: you when clearly you both said things you regret but

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Speaker 1: can't take back. Also, you know, this childish silent treatment

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Speaker 1: he's been giving you for the last ten days has

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Speaker 1: made it even worse and has put your marriage in

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Speaker 1: real trouble, real jeopardy. Ten days of not speaking is

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Speaker 1: too long in a marriage. That's too long.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you guys are gonna do, but

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Speaker 1: you guys are gonna have to talk, I mean, and

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Speaker 1: you may have to start the convo with I didn't

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Speaker 1: mean to embarrass you at the party, or you know,

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Speaker 1: you gotta stop drinking something like that because you know

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Speaker 1: he's immature. And this this is a mess right here

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Speaker 1: in your marriage, Steve.

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Speaker 3: This ain't a deal breaker, but it's we got trouble.

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Speaker 3: Here's the problem.

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Speaker 2: She said, her husband is a lot of fun.

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Speaker 3: Usually, but he go overboard with them jokes after he

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Speaker 3: done had too much a drink. They're thirty eight years old.

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Speaker 3: She got a group of friends they adopted.

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Speaker 2: They your husband.

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Speaker 3: They like him, but they can only take him in

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Speaker 3: small doses because of his sense of humor.

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Speaker 2: Now the problem is you're thirty eight.

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Speaker 3: Now he finding flaws in people making jokes about him

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Speaker 3: in front of the group. This is I not this

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Speaker 3: is what's happening. Look at your nose, boy, your nose

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Speaker 3: so wide. You don't be a sigh?

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Speaker 2: Okay, laughing like that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Now, she he'd have mess around and said something

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Speaker 3: about Thad. Now, I'm pretty sure that the joke he

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Speaker 3: made about this dude named Thad was a real touchy

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Speaker 3: subject to Thad. He didn't think at thirty eight nobody

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Speaker 3: would still be bringing up the size of his teeth,

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Speaker 3: but he did it anyway.

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Speaker 2: Dad, how come all your teeth look like coin?

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right now, but now then Thad got up

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Speaker 3: in his face and say, hey man, slow that down. Man,

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Speaker 3: just go on now, you play too much. But he

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Speaker 3: kept going. Thad was serious. He's still laughing. So she

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Speaker 3: pulled her husband to the side. And then Thad's wife said, hey, man,

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Speaker 3: when the veins pop out in forehead, he says he

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Speaker 3: ready to fight. And so you go to your husband

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Speaker 3: and you tell him that, and you say, hey, look

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Speaker 3: they talking about that nick here. Now, just two jokes,

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Speaker 3: two fellas joking. And then he started yelling at you

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Speaker 3: in front of everybody. You said, I should have let

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Speaker 3: Thad whoop your ass.

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Speaker 2: Now let me let me explain some tea. See, and

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Speaker 2: this is true.

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Speaker 3: But this is why your husband is the way he is.

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Speaker 3: Because see, somewhere down the line, your husband, mister joke

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Speaker 3: all the time and play all the time and crack

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Speaker 3: on everybody ain't had his ass whip. The moment he

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Speaker 3: gets his ass whip, you develop a thing called a filter. See,

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Speaker 3: I have a filter. Ted hadden't to be this one

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Speaker 3: time choke me, damn near to death. Terry Hagler, and

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Speaker 3: I thank God for Terry Hagler because it made me

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Speaker 3: who I am today because now I know the line

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Speaker 3: and how to pull back. That's your husband's problem. He

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Speaker 3: ain't never had his ass whoop, so now he say

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Speaker 3: what he want to say, however he want to say it. Now,

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Speaker 3: you just said you should have let Thad whoops at

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Speaker 3: it because he tied. You tied his fed up personality,

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Speaker 3: and then you told him he'll do good and social settings,

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Speaker 3: and that's why you ain't got your own, damn friends.

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Speaker 2: All these is facts. Hang all these is facts? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: hang up. Just missing that ass whooping. That's the only

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Speaker 2: thing missing.

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Speaker 1: Well in for two of Steve's response, coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry letter, subject

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Speaker 1: I put my money on the other dude. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening morning show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is I put my money on the other due.

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Speaker 3: All right, here's a woman that's thirty eight been married

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Speaker 3: four years to another thirty eight year old dude. They

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Speaker 3: have a lot of fun because and you know he

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Speaker 3: has a sense of humor that has a tendency to

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Speaker 3: take it too far once he drinks. She has a

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Speaker 3: group of friends that have adopted him. They like him,

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Speaker 3: but that they can only take him in small doses.

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Speaker 3: They all at a party one time and he doing

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Speaker 3: his usual And the problem he has is he finds

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Speaker 3: flaws in other people and he make a joke about it. Now,

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Speaker 3: when you get a little older, some of that stuff

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Speaker 3: you figure ought to be out the way.

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Speaker 2: You know, you know white, his size of your teeth,

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Speaker 2: you know right, you know how wide your nose is,

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Speaker 2: you know how much full head you've got.

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Speaker 3: All this here, You figure all that ought to be

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Speaker 3: out by now you're in your late thirties. You had

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Speaker 3: to hear that the whole time he was growing up

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Speaker 3: as a child. Well, her husband, he ain't learned that.

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Speaker 3: So he talks about stuff now people get tired of him.

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Speaker 3: So y'all at this party one time and he started

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Speaker 3: talking about this dude named Thad. Now Thad wasn't having

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Speaker 3: it that day because Thad didn't feel like hearing that

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Speaker 3: floor that he grew up with here had a lot

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Speaker 3: of scar tissue on him from his past, you know,

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Speaker 3: talking about how wide his nose is. Fad know his

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Speaker 3: nose wide, but Thad didn't want to hear about it.

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Speaker 3: At the party that night, Thad then got dressed up,

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Speaker 3: got on his silk Dela crim outfit matching matching men

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Speaker 3: in suit, Silk Dela Crim. That's a hood outfit, shure.

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Speaker 3: That's when the shirt and pants matched. You go together.

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Speaker 3: You buy him in sets. Now he got his set

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Speaker 3: on and now you're in here talking about how wide

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Speaker 3: his nose is. So he got up in his face

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Speaker 3: and told him he ain't want to hear that, and

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Speaker 3: he kept going. So then you said, hey, stop, leave

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Speaker 3: him alone. He said, now it's just two fellas joking around.

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Speaker 3: So he started yelling at you in front of everybody.

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Speaker 3: Then you told on him.

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Speaker 2: I should have let bad whoop your ass. That's that's

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Speaker 2: I should have just let it.

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Speaker 3: And then she said, because we all tied of your

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Speaker 3: fed up personality. I told him he don't do well

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Speaker 3: in social situations and that's why he ain't got.

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Speaker 2: His own friends. Facts, all these facts that you said.

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Speaker 3: The only problem is, see your husband ain't never had

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Speaker 3: his ass whoop, and this would have slowed all this down.

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Speaker 3: He would have dealt he would, he would have had

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Speaker 3: a filter by now, Like I told you, Terry Hagler

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Speaker 3: gave me my filter.

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Speaker 2: He was back in college. I took it too far.

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Speaker 3: Terry Hagler almost choked me, damn near to death, and

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Speaker 3: they pulled him off of him. So after I almost

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Speaker 3: died that night, I learned that it's too far, and

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Speaker 3: I know now to pull back. Your husband never had that.

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Speaker 3: Now here's what you told him. You said Dad should

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Speaker 3: have whooped your ass. We tied your f up personality.

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Speaker 3: You don't do well in social situations, and that's why

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Speaker 3: he don't have his on friends. I even told him

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Speaker 3: I'll put all my money on the other dude if

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Speaker 3: he got in a fight. Goddam Okay, now, listen to me.

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Speaker 3: All of this would have been more effective. See all this,

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Speaker 3: it bleeds into your skin and blood. This would have

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Speaker 3: been way more effective if you'd have went on and

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Speaker 3: let Thad whoop his ass. See, after a recent ass whooping,

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Speaker 3: it's the best time to impart knowledge. I remember my

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Speaker 3: daddy when he'd be whooping me. Why he was whooping me?

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Speaker 3: He would be telling me, I bet you ain't gonna

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Speaker 3: do this no more. I bet this the last time

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Speaker 3: you do this, I bet you won't ever do that.

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Speaker 3: And you know what, he was one hundred percent correct.

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Speaker 3: I heard him way more clearly because the first time

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Speaker 3: he told me not to do it, obviously I didn't

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Speaker 3: hear it clearly. That's why I did it. But during

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Speaker 3: the ass whooping while they talking to you that it nates.

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Speaker 3: So now you told him you put all your money

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Speaker 3: on the dude if he get inter vent and then

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Speaker 3: you don't know what came over. You said you never

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Speaker 3: met to embass him like that. But you felt good

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Speaker 3: afterwards though, because you finally got it off your check.

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Speaker 3: But the ride home was brutal.

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Speaker 2: He sold it up. He was so hurt by what

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Speaker 2: I did.

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Speaker 3: He told me he don't know how we can move

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Speaker 3: past this after I embassed him like that.

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Speaker 2: And you should not have.

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Speaker 3: You really should not have technically, because you're all supposed

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Speaker 3: to be riding die. You're supposed to get your made

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Speaker 3: at the house and say hey, look because in front

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Speaker 3: of everybody, we're united force. Now when I get you

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Speaker 3: by yourself, hey baby, don't do that no more?

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Speaker 2: Right, come on now you tripping.

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Speaker 3: So now, but you were, You was wrong for that,

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Speaker 3: But all of it was true. He told me he

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Speaker 3: don't know how we can move past this after I

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Speaker 3: embarrassed him like that. Now he said he'll never go

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Speaker 3: around my friends again. Well, then now he friend less.

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Speaker 3: He already ain't got none of his own friend right now,

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Speaker 3: he ain't gonna come around your friends no more. See,

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Speaker 3: he really don't want to go around your friends no

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Speaker 3: more because he found out how close he was getting

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Speaker 3: his ass will But now he's trying to blame it

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Speaker 3: on you. If he hadn't have been running his damn mouth,

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Speaker 3: y'all still be at the party right now. And then

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Speaker 3: me and my big mouth messed up my marriage. He

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Speaker 3: ain't talk to me in ten days? How could I

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Speaker 3: move past it? So I have a solution for you.

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Speaker 3: First of all, ten days is a lot.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: No, man ain't talk to his wife in ten days.

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Speaker 3: I don't know that long time. That's a long time.

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Speaker 3: It's ten days. One day, it's like, really magnificent, here's

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Speaker 3: my suitor.

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Speaker 2: I have a suggestion.

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Speaker 3: Okay, if I was you, I tell him I was

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Speaker 3: just joking.

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Speaker 2: I was playing with you. You're very prank.

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Speaker 3: It's a prank. And then get one of your friends

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Speaker 3: and say yeah, we pranked you on that. We actually

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Speaker 3: we did that on purpose and then just let it go.

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters, thank and Stevens.

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Speaker 2: He's gonna find nobody else would put up with this

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Speaker 2: like you.

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Speaker 1: So on Instagram and Facebook and check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: letter on the free iHeartRadio app. You can download it today.

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Speaker 1: Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, we

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Speaker 1: got Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to Harvey Morning Show.