1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,760 Speaker 1: Buckle up, holding on tight. We got it for you. Here. 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:06,080 Speaker 1: It is the Straw Marry letter, subject living with three 3 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: other women might be cool? Oh, I might have to 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:13,159 Speaker 1: let you read. Is Steve here, Stephen Shirley. I'm a 5 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: single black woman with no kids, and I'm writing in 6 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 1: response to the letter I want to live with all 7 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: four women that was read while I was out the 8 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: other day about this man who wanted to live with 9 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: the mothers of his children and one head cars. He 10 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: just wanted to do the right thing. He didn't want 11 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: to be judged and all of that. She said, thank you, 12 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: thank you. That was wild. Haydn miss that one? Yeah, right, Hey, 13 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: do I miss that one? Now? No, I'm not one 14 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 1: of those women in the letter, but I am thinking 15 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: that the letter writer might be onto something. After years 16 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: of dating and being discouraged, I am willing to try anything. 17 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: I've tried dating apps and I represented myself respectively, respectfully, 18 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: but I didn't get any positive of responses from men. 19 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 1: I've even taken Uncle Steve's advice in the ninety day rule, 20 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: and guys just leave before the waiting period is over 21 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: because there are women that will give it up sooner. 22 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,320 Speaker 1: So the most surprising trend is that I've been noticing 23 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: that I've been noticing as men and women who are polyamorous. 24 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: They have more than one partner in a relationship, and 25 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: they report that they're all happy and fulfilled. And I 26 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: also know a few couples polyamorous. I also know a 27 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: few couples that enjoy swinging with other couples. I've been 28 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: told that I want too much in a man and 29 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: that I need more than one man to satisfy all 30 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: of my needs, or I need a girlfriend on the 31 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: side to kick it with. So I recently met a 32 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: guy that is into this polyamorous lifestyle and he explained 33 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: how we could save money by living together with others 34 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: and do everything is one big, happy family if we 35 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: have children. He said that children, the kids would benefit 36 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: from all the parents and their siblings in the household. 37 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 1: Old as black women, we are dumb to think black 38 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: men are faithful. Times have changed and being submissive is 39 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 1: a thing of the past. We are not going to 40 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: submit to a man that has multiple women. We talked 41 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: about a lot of other reasons this could work. I 42 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: would love to get your opinions on this. At thirty 43 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: six years old, should I be okay with being single 44 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:25,079 Speaker 1: forever or settle for the new trend? Please advise? Okay, 45 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 1: who says, just at thirty six years old, you're gonna 46 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: be single forever first of all, and settling under no circumstances? 47 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: Should you settle? That is never a good idea. Never 48 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: settling is never a good idea. Don't do it. Don't settle, 49 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: Please don't settle. I mean you know this isn't right, 50 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: or you wouldn't even be writing in to us. Okay, 51 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,959 Speaker 1: who besides the man is really going to benefit from 52 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: the setup like this? I mean the man is going 53 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: to benefit certainly, not you. What is in this for you? 54 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: You have not made your case in this letter as 55 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: far as I'm concerned. Oh yeah, he's gonna make it 56 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: sound like this, big one, big happy love, paradise, beautiful, big, 57 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: just loving on everybody. Family, That's what he's trying to 58 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 1: make You're gonna be treated like a queen. The kids 59 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: are gonna be cared for, and come on, where do 60 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: they do this? Don't don't believe the hype. I just 61 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: think this is not what you want. It's not living 62 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: your best life. Settling is not living your best life 63 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 1: it's not cute. I just say, don't give this, don't 64 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,239 Speaker 1: give this man another thought. I mean, you're willing to 65 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: try anything. Has it really come to that? Have you 66 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: just given up on yourself? Come on, you're only thirty six. 67 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: I just think you have a lot more living to do. 68 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 1: I just say, no, do not settle. Just wait. The 69 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: right man will come along. Just wait. Okay, just like 70 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 1: everybody else had to do. All right, Steve Well, surely, 71 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: Oh everybody, buckle up, ignorant thing. I'm about to be ignorant. 72 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: I don't care about this. This letter stupid. This letter stupid, 73 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: and we all have you have to talk to people 74 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: like this. Living with three other women might be cooled 75 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: this Stephen Sherley, I'm a black woman, no kids, and 76 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: I'm writing in response to the letter of the day. 77 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 1: I want to live with all four women. Well, no, 78 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm not one of the women in the letter, but 79 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: I'm thinking that the letter writer may be onto something. 80 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 1: After years of dating and being discouraged, I'm willing to 81 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: try anything. Okay, So that simply means your ass's desperate. 82 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: Now let's read the letter from the desperate perspective. I've 83 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: tried dating apps, I've represented myself respectively, but I didn't 84 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: get any positive response from men. I have even taken 85 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 1: Uncle Steve's advice on the ninety day ruling, guys, just 86 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: leave before the waiting period is over, because there are 87 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 1: women that will give it up sooner. True, they didn't 88 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: want you. They didn't want you. They didn't leave before 89 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: the ninety day period. They left because they didn't want 90 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 1: to have to put in what you required for them 91 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: to put in for them to get out what they 92 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: wanted to get out. They didn't want you. So the 93 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: most surprising trend, so, the most surprising trend that I've 94 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: been noticing is men and women who are polyamorous. They 95 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 1: have more than one pardon in the relationship, and the 96 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: report that they're all happy and fulfill what. Let me 97 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 1: explain something to you. Was you listening to the letter 98 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: the other day? Did you not hear me describe the 99 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 1: pain that this food was in trying to sleep with 100 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: four women that he didn't gave all of them a baby, 101 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: and the other one of the women woman is for 102 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: the second time, and he don't know how he gonna 103 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: break the news to the other three. Do this sound 104 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 1: happy to you? Now? They all live happy together. Do 105 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 1: you know how hard it is to live with one 106 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:19,840 Speaker 1: other person? Thank you? All right, Steve? Hold yeah, hold 107 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:26,039 Speaker 1: that thought. Let's recap today strawberry letters. Three other women 108 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 1: might be cool? Yeah, you think it is? This lady 109 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,599 Speaker 1: to rode in, single, black lady, no kids, and she 110 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: wants to talk about the letter that we had of 111 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: the day. This guy rode in tellingbow I want to 112 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: live with all four women. Well, the four women that 113 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: he is dating, they all have babies by him, They 114 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: all have sex regularly, and he said they were all 115 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: cool with it, but he messed around and got one 116 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: of them pregnant a second time. And now he don't 117 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: know how he gonna break it to the other three 118 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: that he got this fourth one pregnant for the second time, 119 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: which disproved everything he said about they was all cool 120 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: with it. Ain't nobody cool with it? Dog, You've just 121 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,799 Speaker 1: been lying to four women's telling them that they the one, 122 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: and they think that they have a chance with you. 123 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 1: That's all you did. Ain't know women going along with 124 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: this right here. You've even taken my advice about the 125 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 1: ninety day rule. But all the men you've been dating 126 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: to leave you before the ninety days is up because 127 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 1: other women who will give it up sooner. Shirley said, 128 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: that's true, that can happen, but that just means they 129 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: didn't won't you They was looking to have sex, you 130 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: was trying to save yourself, and that they ain't won't you. Way, So, 131 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: the most surprising trend that I've noticed is that men 132 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: and women who are in a polyamorous relationship, they got 133 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: more than one partner, and they report that they're all happy. 134 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: And for Fiel, that's why we left off at you're 135 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: happy and for Fiel. Within being in more than one relationship, 136 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: it's hard to make one relationship board. It's hard to 137 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: make one woman happy. Get a group of them. Now 138 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: you're talking about y'all ought to live together like one 139 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: happy family. Now hard it is to live with one person. 140 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: See you, single black female with no kids. You never 141 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: live with nobody before. It's an adjustment to live with 142 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: one person. You think I'm lying, Let me talk to 143 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: you about a couple of group situations. You can go 144 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: down to the hotel and just start knocking on doors 145 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: and tell people you're gonna move in there. I'm gonna 146 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: show you how hard it is. I gotta go down 147 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: and check into a group home. Wow, hey, y'all got 148 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: another room in here? Yeah, come on in. See how 149 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: much fun it is living in the group home. I 150 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 1: got a better idea. Go down town to the shelter. 151 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: Get you a nice bed down at the shelter. If 152 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,839 Speaker 1: you want to find out how hard it is to 153 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: live with somebody else and you ain't never had the experience, 154 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 1: try one of them places. Okay, So stop this foolishness 155 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: listening to the guy. I been told that I want 156 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 1: too much in a man, and I need more than 157 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: one man to satisfy all my needs, or I need 158 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: a girlfriend on the side to kick you with. You 159 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 1: just open to anything. You just you just you just 160 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 1: want somebody now, you just want to be anybody's anything. 161 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: Your ass is just I'm gonna give me a bunch 162 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: of men, you just said. Then, recently I met a 163 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: guy that's into the polyamorous lifestyle. He explained how we 164 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:38,559 Speaker 1: could save money by living together and with others and 165 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: do everything is one big, happy family. If we have children, 166 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 1: he said, the kids would benefit from all the parents 167 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: and their siblings in the household. Now, as black women, 168 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 1: we are dumb to think that black men of faith. Okay, 169 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,680 Speaker 1: hold on, hold hold well, you're talking to a white 170 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,199 Speaker 1: man like him? Was this a white man I was 171 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:04,559 Speaker 1: talking to? Well, because she said right after all of this, 172 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: she said, as black women, we are dumb to think 173 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,199 Speaker 1: that black men are faithful. So I'm just asking what 174 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,959 Speaker 1: you're talking to a white man? Or was this a 175 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: black dude talking to you? Who did convince you that 176 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: ain't no black men faithful? And to move into this 177 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: damn shelter that he created, this damn group home. It 178 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: ain't gonna be enough bathrooms for people. I'm telling you now. 179 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,839 Speaker 1: Times have changed and being submissive is a thing of 180 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,560 Speaker 1: the past. What do you think moving into a group 181 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: home with one damn dude with a bunch of chicks 182 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: with a whole lot of kids. You don't think that's submissive? 183 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? That's probably you. You ain't sister wives. 184 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,439 Speaker 1: This ain't hb oh, you ain't white. You can't go this. 185 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 1: White people that don't agree with this. I don't listen 186 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: to talk to people about this show on HBO. There 187 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 1: I tell you this. You gotta be nuts. Yeah, Lord 188 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:10,679 Speaker 1: of Cress, no one do that. White people tell you this? 189 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 1: What is your backass talking about what is she going 190 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,559 Speaker 1: to get out of it? Nothing? Yeah, we are not 191 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: going to submit to a man that has multiple women. 192 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: We talked about a lot of other reasons this could work. 193 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,319 Speaker 1: I would love to get your opinion where you got 194 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: it at thirty six old? Should Should I be okay 195 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 1: with being single forever? Like Sherley said, why you got 196 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: to be single forever? Or settle for the new tread? 197 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:41,439 Speaker 1: You keep setting girl? Stop stop stop. You need to 198 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: go to church, sit down. You need to have a 199 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: conversation with the Lord man during the week man. Yeah, 200 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 1: you need to go doing the weekend where you get 201 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: some one on one counsel, prayer meeting. Yeah, you need 202 00:11:55,240 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: somebody to touch you. Mega church, you need a small church. 203 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:04,200 Speaker 1: Will falling away? I'm talking about what they just gather 204 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: around you and start praying out demons and laying hands 205 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: on you. All right? All right? Listen post your comments 206 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 1: on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and uh at Steve 207 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 1: Harvey FM, and also check out the Strawberry Letter podcast 208 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: on demand. You're listening to the Steve Morning Show