WEBVTT - No is a wall

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good morning.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is that no is a wall. While you can't

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<v Speaker 1>say yes to everything, don't say no so often that

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<v Speaker 1>the people in your life start to assume you wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>be interested in what they're proposing. You want to make

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<v Speaker 1>sure there is still a gate for fun and exciting

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<v Speaker 1>things to come into your life. Today's tip comes from

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<v Speaker 1>my book, Big Time, A Simple Path to Time Abundance.

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<v Speaker 1>In the book, I note that the world is full

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<v Speaker 1>of wonderful experiences that you may not be actively looking for. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>we are all busy. But when you are open to serendipity,

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<v Speaker 1>you adopt a yes mindset, and good things often happen.

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<v Speaker 1>It is wise to be focused on your priorities, but

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<v Speaker 1>you want to leave some room for the unexpected. One

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<v Speaker 1>of the best ways to do this is to say

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<v Speaker 1>yes a little more often to things that sound intriguing

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<v Speaker 1>and exciting, but are perhaps outside your immediate comfort zone. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>I know that sounds a little strange on a productivity podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>Because it is a major tenet of productivity advice that

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<v Speaker 1>we all need to say no more often. We are

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<v Speaker 1>all overscheduled. Best to lock down the calendar. But the

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<v Speaker 1>problem of having a mindset of no is that no

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<v Speaker 1>is a wall. Sure, a wall keeps out experiences that

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<v Speaker 1>are unpleasant or unappealing or are just a waste of time.

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<v Speaker 1>But no can also keep out opportunities that could be wonderful.

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<v Speaker 1>This happens in a couple of ways. First of all,

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<v Speaker 1>if your default response is no, you will decline the

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<v Speaker 1>potentially great experiences that come your way. Coffee with a

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<v Speaker 1>person in your network who seems interesting but you don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>An off-year reunion at your college. A call with someone

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<v Speaker 1>who wants to pitch a professional idea. A musical that

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<v Speaker 1>a friend invites you to but you haven't heard of?

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<v Speaker 1>A roadside attraction that makes you curious but, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>who knows whether it's worth the detour? These would all

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<v Speaker 1>be easy invitations to decline. And, you know, there may

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<v Speaker 1>be good reasons to decline. You do have a limited

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<v Speaker 1>number of hours in the day. But here's the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Something wonderful could come from these experiences. As I share

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<v Speaker 1>in big time, The before-breakfast podcast that you are listening

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<v Speaker 1>to here resulted from a vague email I received about

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<v Speaker 1>elevating and monetizing Best of Both Worlds, whatever that means.

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<v Speaker 1>I said yes to that call, thinking it might be

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<v Speaker 1>about my other podcast, but seven-plus years later, here we are.

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<v Speaker 1>I met my husband when a friend texted me years ago,

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<v Speaker 1>asking if I could meet her at a bar where

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<v Speaker 1>she was hanging out, which, by the way, was my

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<v Speaker 1>second stop of the night. That's another yes that changed

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<v Speaker 1>my life. You don't have to say yes to everything.

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<v Speaker 1>But if a possibility lights you up or makes you

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<v Speaker 1>feel curious and you have the time, you could say yes.

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<v Speaker 1>Even more importantly, there's another less visible way that no

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<v Speaker 1>is a wall. If you become known as someone who

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<v Speaker 1>says no to everything, you will stop Getting invitations. If

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<v Speaker 1>you habitually say no to opportunities at work, volunteer requests,

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<v Speaker 1>social invitations, bids from your kids, and so forth, eventually,

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<v Speaker 1>people will stop asking. People don't want to bother you

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<v Speaker 1>with a request if they feel sure you won't be interested.

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<v Speaker 1>And people want to avoid the rejection of constantly being

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<v Speaker 1>turned down. So be wary of saying no all the time. Sometimes, Sure.

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<v Speaker 1>But a wall not only excludes bad things, it keeps

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<v Speaker 1>out good things that don't have an explicit invitation. So

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<v Speaker 1>leave a door in the wall and leave it a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit open. Almost all wonderful things in life come

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<v Speaker 1>from saying yes. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening. And here's to making the most of our time.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,

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<v Speaker 1>or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam.com

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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