Speaker 1: I'm Tamika D. Mallory and it shit Boy, my Son
Speaker 1: it Generally we are your host of TMI.
Speaker 2: Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, motivation and inspiration.
Speaker 1: New name, new energy.
Speaker 3: But same. How you doing today, Tamika D.
Speaker 1: Mal good good, good good, Let's get it, Let's get it.
Speaker 3: What's going on with you?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: Well, I think the only thing I could tell you
Speaker 4: about what's going on with me is that as I'm
Speaker 4: getting older, I have new pains and aches, and when
Speaker 4: I get out the bed, I have to roll onto
Speaker 4: the floor and stand up by limbs and then try
Speaker 4: to like shake.
Speaker 1: It out my elbow herds.
Speaker 4: I'm just trying to figure out what is forty five
Speaker 4: because it's just.
Speaker 1: Total different feeling. That's all. That's all that's happening with
Speaker 1: me right now.
Speaker 3: I remember forty five. It was a different filming.
Speaker 1: It was forty five. Was that you knew that you
Speaker 1: was forty five?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I believe I'm in good health,
Speaker 2: you know, knock on wood. I've been exercised. I tend
Speaker 2: to take care of myself. But you don't feel eighteen
Speaker 2: no more.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But I felt eighteen at thirty five, at thirty.
Speaker 2: Five year because it's still that's still fresh, you know.
Speaker 2: But after the forties you start the bone. You start
Speaker 2: feeling little creaks and cracks inside your knees and you can't.
Speaker 2: You ain't got the Megan knees, y'all. You can't bend over,
Speaker 2: you can't. Yeah, it ain't none of that happen. It's
Speaker 2: just like you can't do certain stretches, like things start hurting.
Speaker 2: You just sow for no reason, so you realize that
Speaker 2: things are changing.
Speaker 4: No, Seriously, when I got up this morning, I literally
Speaker 4: rolled onto the floor and then I was like my
Speaker 4: back Now, I'm like, okay, I need to shift the
Speaker 4: mattress because but the mattress is new.
Speaker 1: So I don't even know. I don't even know.
Speaker 4: What's going on, like not new as in, well that's
Speaker 4: why it's hurting your back or different parts of your
Speaker 4: body because it's new and in these be broken in.
Speaker 1: It's broken in. It's it's been there for a while,
Speaker 1: still place where it's right now, but it's not just there.
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, I stay in everything from an
Speaker 4: airport Marriotte to a rich Carlton to a Saint Regis
Speaker 4: like I. We are always on the road, so we
Speaker 4: all know what it feels like to travel. You feel
Speaker 4: different beds, and you get different experiences in the different beds,
Speaker 4: and sometimes you like, oh my gosh, that was the
Speaker 4: best thap in my life. Sometimes even in a nice hotel,
Speaker 4: you like, this bed is crappy. So I've experienced it all.
Speaker 4: There's no reason why at every single level I have
Speaker 4: the road onto the floor stretch all these places. This hurts,
Speaker 4: that's going on. This isn't the same.
Speaker 1: It's just not the same.
Speaker 4: If it's forty five, it's very clear that it's not
Speaker 4: the same as forty.
Speaker 3: It's definitely different, you know. And it's Taurist month.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's still your mind.
Speaker 2: We're approaching my birthday. You know, I'm a man of
Speaker 2: a particular age. I'm not going to say that right now.
Speaker 1: I met a man that didn't want to.
Speaker 2: I'm a man of a particular you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I'm a grown adult man. You know, I'm reaching the midway,
Speaker 2: the midway area of the I'm reaching. I'm almost at the.
Speaker 3: Fifth floor, almost almost at the fifth floor. Nice. I mean, listen,
Speaker 3: remember when you look like me. It don't matter. You
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: That boy, that boy shop. Ain't he looking you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I don't look like what I've been through.
Speaker 2: But it's a blessing, man. So I'm just trying to
Speaker 2: enjoy life, you know, enjoy my month, tourist month. So
Speaker 2: many people's birthdays. I was just with my man yesterday
Speaker 2: his birthday. Shout out to Aaron his birthday like Rahiem
Speaker 2: Divine's birthday. Like it's so many people. That's Taurus. You
Speaker 2: know what I'm say, saying that the best, the best.
Speaker 4: Happy birthday, birthday it is. It's a lot of people's birthday.
Speaker 4: The tourists, our board chair, sister friend on the islets,
Speaker 4: our birthdays, wellday, so many lot. It's a lot of
Speaker 4: people who have birthdays and that are tourists. Y'all pretty
Speaker 4: decent people. We are, I have to say, most of
Speaker 4: the tourists folks that I know, I really have. You know,
Speaker 4: we work well together. We gel as they say. But
Speaker 4: you know, as you reach your fifth floor, we want
Speaker 4: to wish you many many many many many years of
Speaker 4: success and prosperity and blessings and all the things and happiness, man,
Speaker 4: happiness is a thing that's like, whoa, what does it
Speaker 4: even mean these days? Because it's hard to be happy
Speaker 4: in a society where you know, there's so much happening,
Speaker 4: and you know, I have to say that when I
Speaker 4: sit with a group of people who are starving to
Speaker 4: death with our tax dollars being spent on this experiment
Speaker 4: or colonial operation that's happening, colonizers operation that's happening to
Speaker 4: the people of Gaza and the Palestinian people, it's like
Speaker 4: sometimes you get and by the way, that same experiment
Speaker 4: takes place in our nation as well, in different communities,
Speaker 4: and you get happy and you celebrate. We do birthdays,
Speaker 4: we do parties, we do fun things, and then you
Speaker 4: just sit with it, like this place is really it's ghetto.
Speaker 3: Do you realize they.
Speaker 2: Say that they were supposed to be introducing a bill
Speaker 2: to make it illegal to speak against Israel?
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I mean actually I was up probably like
Speaker 4: three four o'clock in the morning and researching it because
Speaker 4: I was like, let me just make sure what I'm hearing.
Speaker 4: The internet can be very dangerous and words matter. Words
Speaker 4: are important because while I do know that based upon
Speaker 4: what they are trying what they're attempting to pass in
Speaker 4: the Congress. That it does mean that they're moving closer
Speaker 4: and closer to individuals also not being able to say
Speaker 4: that they're protesting a boycott. If you put it on
Speaker 4: your social media, you could be in trouble or whatever
Speaker 4: and all of that. But that's not where they are now.
Speaker 4: Right now, they're passing a bill that will impact vendors
Speaker 4: and institutions and college groups, and the dangerous one is journalists.
Speaker 4: So that means that they assume that you have some
Speaker 4: level of influence.
Speaker 1: You are a vendor who refuses to.
Speaker 4: Do business with Israel because of their policies and the
Speaker 4: genocide that's happening to the Israel, to the people, the
Speaker 4: Palacinian people.
Speaker 1: So if you make.
Speaker 4: If they know that that's the reason, like you might
Speaker 4: be able to get away with just not wanting to
Speaker 4: do it and saying it wasn't a good business deal.
Speaker 1: But you cannot say I will.
Speaker 4: Not because I'm boycotting or I do not do business
Speaker 4: with Israel.
Speaker 1: Then you can be.
Speaker 4: Fined and jailed, you know, for that, and then you know,
Speaker 4: beyond that. Of course, if you're a journalist and you're
Speaker 4: doing articles that talks about boycotting Israel.
Speaker 1: And all of that.
Speaker 4: That's what they're specifically focused on now. But it's the saying,
Speaker 4: the good old saying, once they come for them, they
Speaker 4: come for you. So it starts off with it just
Speaker 4: being about this, you know, bigger, larger entities or more
Speaker 4: organized entities, which probably includes organizations like Until Freedom who
Speaker 4: they don't want to be a part of the BDS movement,
Speaker 4: boycott the investment and sanctions.
Speaker 1: But what eventually we.
Speaker 4: Know is that if they start this, then it'll it'll
Speaker 4: eventually come to If you're just a person who has
Speaker 4: a large platform and you use your social media to
Speaker 4: talk about these things, you can lose your page then
Speaker 4: maybe go to jail. So that's why you have to
Speaker 4: stop it over there, and and the and the real
Speaker 4: thing is if they can do it about Israel, they
Speaker 4: can do it about somewhere else.
Speaker 1: They can they can start saying, just like challenge the president.
Speaker 2: People off the street because because they literally it's literally
Speaker 2: that's what they do.
Speaker 1: Kidnap.
Speaker 2: If they're kidnapping you for protesting with no due process,
Speaker 2: no charges or anything, and sending you out like that's crazy,
Speaker 2: it's the same process.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 4: Now they have this thing where like on YouTube and
Speaker 4: other places, I realize people are saying the R word.
Speaker 4: People are saying s A instead of saying.
Speaker 1: You know, xtual assaults or eight.
Speaker 4: I can't say it, our guess because it might trigger
Speaker 4: And eventually they're gonna probably do that with the word
Speaker 4: genocide as well.
Speaker 1: It may already be U.
Speaker 4: And you know, we're really moving into a space. And
Speaker 4: again this stuff is supported by both Republicans and Democrats,
Speaker 4: so you know, And and then the last vote which
Speaker 4: Bernie Sanders and a group came together to stop money
Speaker 4: from going more aid going to Israel, the Democrats, including
Speaker 4: the black ones. In fact, it was all the black
Speaker 4: ones that I saw who were in the Senate that
Speaker 4: voted for that bill right to push for or voted
Speaker 4: against stopping the aid, so they supported more money going
Speaker 4: to Israel. So you know, at this point, you can't
Speaker 4: even sit up here and say, and it speaks to
Speaker 4: my thought of the day, you can't sit up here
Speaker 4: and say, well, no, no, no, you know, don't say
Speaker 4: that about the Democrats, because the Democrats are the poor
Speaker 4: party of morality.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 4: Both sides, both sides have very very fundamental issues. It
Speaker 4: brings me to my thought of the day, David Hogg.
Speaker 4: This is a young man who was one of the
Speaker 4: who's just a survivor of the Parkland shooting. So we
Speaker 4: know that the Parkland shooting was probably one of the
Speaker 4: most horrific acts of violence against students where students were killed,
Speaker 4: and you know, it was something that sparked a larger
Speaker 4: movement around gun violence, prevention and intervention. It's interesting because
Speaker 4: even in the Women's March, we were saying, we have
Speaker 4: to focus on gun violence, and people told us that
Speaker 4: had nothing to do with women's issues. Why y'all want
Speaker 4: to do gun by people? Matter of fact, we were
Speaker 4: being told that we were derailing the mission of Women's March,
Speaker 4: right and people they condemned us for attempting to organize
Speaker 4: largely white women around gun violence. And then when the
Speaker 4: Parkland shooting happened, there was.
Speaker 1: A big movement.
Speaker 4: All of a sudden, the world was like, oh man,
Speaker 4: we're coming out by the droves, by the millions against
Speaker 4: gun violence or in support of gun violence prevention and intervention.
Speaker 1: And guess what. Here's the thing, right, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: The thing is, if we had.
Speaker 4: Dealt with it at the time when women were raising
Speaker 4: the issue, when women of color were raising the issue.
Speaker 1: But that was the issue, that was the problem.
Speaker 4: They didn't like the fact that we were demanding that
Speaker 4: the movement addressed gun violence because it was happening to
Speaker 4: black and brown kids.
Speaker 1: And of course, you know, certainly.
Speaker 4: There had been white children who had also been shot
Speaker 4: and killed, and gun violence is.
Speaker 1: An issue that is across the bulls, right and so.
Speaker 4: But they did not want to deal with Pilando Castill,
Speaker 4: which was a black man who was shot to death
Speaker 4: with a gun that he told the police officer I
Speaker 4: have a gun and they's still a license carrier.
Speaker 1: They didn't want to deal with that. They didn't want
Speaker 1: to deal with the black issues.
Speaker 4: So they condemned us for the idea that we would
Speaker 4: ever bring gun bus And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: the Parkland shooting happens and white folks was out in droves.
Speaker 1: So it is what it is.
Speaker 4: We never want to do anything to protect other people
Speaker 4: that might also protect us.
Speaker 1: We feel like, as long as it's happening to them,
Speaker 1: it's cool.
Speaker 4: But okay, brings me back. Excuse me, let me get
Speaker 4: sentent on my thought of the day. David Hogg, who
Speaker 4: is a survivor of the Parkland, the Parkland mass shooting.
Speaker 4: He is also a vice chair for the DNC, and
Speaker 4: that's really important because he's a young kid. I think
Speaker 4: he's like twenty three or five something like that years old,
Speaker 4: young guy who has you know, because he became one
Speaker 4: of the voices that was organizing around mass shootings and
Speaker 4: violence and shooting in general, guns and all of that
Speaker 4: access to weapons. He has risen through the political ranks
Speaker 4: and now he is vice chair of the DNC, big position.
Speaker 4: He is now raising or has raised twenty million dollars
Speaker 4: to challenge sitting elected officials. So he wants to primary folks.
Speaker 4: It makes me think of Stephen Green, Reverend Stephen Green,
Speaker 4: our brother, when he says primary everybody, right, because here's
Speaker 4: a problem, right, and there's people that don't like this.
Speaker 4: In fact, haw Keen Jeffries has probably raised even more
Speaker 4: money to defend incumbents and make sure that they don't
Speaker 4: lose their seat to these younger progressives, liberals or whatever
Speaker 4: they want to call them. And sometimes they're more conservative
Speaker 4: voices within the party. So this is so there's two
Speaker 4: conflicting ideas. I support David Hogg. I support him because
Speaker 4: what happens is that we have people who have been
Speaker 4: in the same position.
Speaker 1: For thirty forty years and it is time.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you, you become not just complacent, but
Speaker 4: sometimes compromise, even when you are not trying to be like,
Speaker 4: you're not a bad person, you're not a scammer or
Speaker 4: shisty or any of that, but because of relationships you
Speaker 4: built over all of these years, because of your funders,
Speaker 4: and your position in different places and battles that you've
Speaker 4: been in where you learn that that's too hot. You
Speaker 4: once said something to me that was so powerful that
Speaker 4: the reason why little kids are so much more creative
Speaker 4: and have so much more opportunity is because they don't
Speaker 4: know about what could happen.
Speaker 1: If they touch this, if they do this, if they
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 4: So it's beautiful to watch them as they go through
Speaker 4: life's challenges and they explore and sometimes they run up
Speaker 4: on something good, you.
Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: And so what happens is that compromise it or being compromised,
Speaker 4: does not always mean that you're doing something that is
Speaker 4: you know, it's an attempt to harm the community.
Speaker 1: What it can mean is.
Speaker 4: That you literally like just ain't got that drive to
Speaker 4: fight this issue because of all the things that go
Speaker 4: along with it. You know what happens if you stand
Speaker 4: up to Israel, They're going to label you anti Semitic.
Speaker 4: You've watched how that harmed other people's careers, So now
Speaker 4: you don't want to get into it with that.
Speaker 1: You know that to get the police.
Speaker 4: Or to get people to sign a or to yeh
Speaker 4: to sign a bill, or to vote positively for a
Speaker 4: bill that would hold police accountable, that's not that's kind
Speaker 4: of a situation because if you do that, then you're
Speaker 4: gonna have the unions after you, and if you don't
Speaker 4: have police support, you might not be.
Speaker 1: Able to win in the next election.
Speaker 4: Or you're getting money from APAC, from this place, from
Speaker 4: that place, so it can compromise you. Again, it doesn't
Speaker 4: always mean you're a bad person, but it does mean
Speaker 4: that you have been compromised in some way you need
Speaker 4: to be.
Speaker 2: You, and you don't even have the will to fight,
Speaker 2: not even compromise right. Sometimes sometimes losing certain battles and
Speaker 2: losing a lot it makes you less. You don't have
Speaker 2: the vigor that it takes to fight. Like they say
Speaker 2: they use old men for war, I mean young men
Speaker 2: for war and old men for strategy.
Speaker 4: Right, so them, And that's exactly right, and that's exactly
Speaker 4: what it should be because we have people, and some
Speaker 4: people are young and shouldn't be in the positions that
Speaker 4: they're in. But you should always have to fight and
Speaker 4: make sure that you show the people that you're still
Speaker 4: committed to the values that they want to see. You
Speaker 4: should not just be able to roll over in position
Speaker 4: and guess what. If you about your business and you're
Speaker 4: doing what you're supposed to be doing, the people will
Speaker 4: defend you, the people will stand up for you, and
Speaker 4: the people will support you. But the problem is now,
Speaker 4: and I get it. This is what some people wanna say.
Speaker 4: They're gonna say, oh no, because look at Corey and
Speaker 4: look at Jamal Bowman and how those two people were challenged.
Speaker 4: They were primaried and they didn't win. And so this
Speaker 4: is why you want to block that and shield them.
Speaker 4: But the Democratic Party didn't do anything to shield them.
Speaker 4: The Democratic Party, so you might as well take your
Speaker 4: chances and be able to show the people that you're committed.
Speaker 1: They did not do anything to shield the two of them.
Speaker 4: Maybe with Jamal Bowman he did get some good endorsements.
Speaker 1: He did.
Speaker 4: I'm not saying he didn't Hakem endorse him. But it's
Speaker 4: not the same thing as throwing down in the district
Speaker 4: fighting for that man and standing on business.
Speaker 1: Because if you're if.
Speaker 4: On one hand you are over here more Zionists than
Speaker 4: the zion this, and then on the other hand you
Speaker 4: over there talking about oh I stand with.
Speaker 1: Jamal Bowman, it's not making sense.
Speaker 4: It's not adding up because Jamal Bowman is over here
Speaker 4: calling out the zion this for what has happened in
Speaker 4: this project that is taking place in Israel Palestine right now.
Speaker 1: That's what he's saying. So how you doing that? It
Speaker 1: don't make sense.
Speaker 4: So my thought of the day today is that I
Speaker 4: support the young people saying we need to push for
Speaker 4: at least a battle so that we know that you
Speaker 4: still have the will to fight and prove to us
Speaker 4: that you deserve to stay in a seat over and
Speaker 4: over and over again.
Speaker 1: And so I think that David hog is doing the
Speaker 1: right thing.
Speaker 4: That these young people, they are sick and tired of
Speaker 4: folks who are weak, who are compromised, who are unwilling
Speaker 4: to get up and say the thing people don't even
Speaker 4: want to stand up against, you know, against in type
Speaker 4: of police and power. We just saw it and I'm
Speaker 4: not even gonna I don't want to disrespect their brother,
Speaker 4: but we just saw somebody where we were recently when
Speaker 4: we try to talk about policing, and they want to
Speaker 4: make sure that they defend the sheriff.
Speaker 1: Up the town.
Speaker 4: So this is this is a mindset that these young
Speaker 4: people don't want to be involved in. And guess what
Speaker 4: what David Hogg realizes, at least this is what I think,
Speaker 4: because I didn't talk to him about it, is that
Speaker 4: if we do not do something, if we do not
Speaker 4: do something, we are going.
Speaker 1: To lose more and more and more.
Speaker 4: So he's actually helping the Democratic Party by saying you,
Speaker 4: I gotta help you get out your.
Speaker 3: Own way, because people, the people is not fool. They
Speaker 3: see through it.
Speaker 2: The people you're trying to give us as representatives, they
Speaker 2: don't have the fight that we want.
Speaker 3: They just don't have it. And if you.
Speaker 2: Expect us to vote, if you expect people to go
Speaker 2: out there and vote, then you got to give them
Speaker 2: candidates they want. That's the bottom line that people are
Speaker 2: rejecting that you're gonna cookie cut and you're just gonna
Speaker 2: plant you know, representatives and people for them to they
Speaker 2: just not doing that normal. And we're in a time
Speaker 2: where if you're not moving talking away that that resonates
Speaker 2: with me.
Speaker 3: They will stay home. They show you, I will stay home, and.
Speaker 4: People want somebody that might have came out the mud.
Speaker 4: I saw a cold argument going back and forth about
Speaker 4: this brother, Zorhan, who is running for mayor in New
Speaker 4: York City and one of my dear sisters who I
Speaker 4: just don't agree with in this. She was like, well,
Speaker 4: he's been a part of failed campaigns and he didn't
Speaker 4: do this, and he hasn't done that, and he don't
Speaker 4: know this, and he don't know that, and so we
Speaker 4: think that he's the best person for the job. You
Speaker 4: know what, Yeah, some people might think that. I think Zorhan.
Speaker 4: My guy is Mike Blake. I'm with him until the
Speaker 4: last day. Make sure that you rank Michael Blake. I'm
Speaker 4: ranking him number one. You will rank him number one,
Speaker 4: But he did not make sure that you rank him
Speaker 4: at least number two. Now I like Zorhan, right, I
Speaker 4: like Adrian and I like Zorhan.
Speaker 1: So I got three people that.
Speaker 4: I'm ranking off the back right because Adrian as a
Speaker 4: black woman, I think that she could bring something unique
Speaker 4: to this city that we have never had. Right, We've
Speaker 4: not had a black woman to be mayor of this city.
Speaker 4: And I just think that when you look at somebody
Speaker 4: like Tish and I understand the contributions that Kamala Harris
Speaker 4: could have made and that other black women that I
Speaker 4: know can make.
Speaker 1: To our society.
Speaker 4: I am I'm a proponent of pushing black women forward.
Speaker 4: So I support Adrian Adams as well. And Zorhan I'm
Speaker 4: watching him. I like Zorhan because Zorhan is keeping it real.
Speaker 4: Zorhan that everybody, well, he was part of fail campaigns.
Speaker 4: That means he know about fail campaigns, so he might.
Speaker 1: Know a little bit about that. Guess what he might not.
Speaker 4: He may have ideas, because they were saying other people
Speaker 4: in this chat that that Zorhan has ideas that won't work.
Speaker 1: That's what we might need. We need people, we need
Speaker 1: we need something different.
Speaker 4: We might need people who are willing to try something
Speaker 4: that is all off the wall to help us to
Speaker 4: get where we have to go. What people do not
Speaker 4: understand a lot of our political folks and our political
Speaker 4: operatives and other elected officials. Is that people are rejecting
Speaker 4: the same old.
Speaker 2: Thing and they're rejecting it.
Speaker 4: They don't want it. So guess what if Zorhan or
Speaker 4: Mike Blake or Michael Blake he can't win because he's
Speaker 4: you know, he's to this, to that he has, he
Speaker 4: didn't win his last time he ran, I mean out
Speaker 4: of heard so many things. Or Adrian, she doesn't have
Speaker 4: the support. Guess what, support them. Pour your resources in
Speaker 4: and then show up. Volunteer support, help, get on the team,
Speaker 4: get on the transition team, and.
Speaker 1: Help these people.
Speaker 4: But folks do not want what they have always had
Speaker 4: because it is not working. They want something different. So
Speaker 4: I guess the next idea would be run your damn self.
Speaker 4: Run yourself because she'll see it, and she'll know run
Speaker 4: yourself because you do have ideas that's outside of the box.
Speaker 4: But if you think that this cookie cutter strategy that
Speaker 4: folks have.
Speaker 1: People don't want. They don't want it. Did we not
Speaker 1: see it in the election that we just had The
Speaker 1: people went with.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say whatever, the people went with somebody
Speaker 4: that I think.
Speaker 1: Is a very bad man.
Speaker 4: Yes, because some people went with them, not everybody, but
Speaker 4: there was, there was too much of a percentage of
Speaker 4: people who did.
Speaker 1: But in other people they are doing the thing that
Speaker 1: David Hogg is talking about. They said, you know what,
Speaker 1: y'all figure it out.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna just go on to my couch and I'm
Speaker 4: gonna chill out until y'all decide what y'all gonna do
Speaker 4: going forward.
Speaker 1: And that's something we cannot afford.
Speaker 2: We have no time to play around with these people
Speaker 2: and y'all playing Parcheesi.
Speaker 1: We need to inspire people.
Speaker 3: The ideas need energy.
Speaker 2: They need not people that's jaded, that's telling you we
Speaker 2: can't win. They got all the pieces.
Speaker 5: Nobody wants to hear that.
Speaker 1: You got to know all this stuff because guess what.
Speaker 4: The City of New York, some of these corporations they
Speaker 4: already run every single day off of a system that's
Speaker 4: in place. And if you're half intelligent enough to hire
Speaker 4: the right people and then you have a good heart
Speaker 4: and some innovative ideas, trust me, trust me, you can
Speaker 4: make it happen. I truly believe that. I do not
Speaker 4: believe that you have to be a career politician in
Speaker 4: order to get in position and do the right things.
Speaker 1: I think that there are people who it might be
Speaker 1: the first.
Speaker 4: Time they ever even touched the podium, and they still
Speaker 4: they can inspire more, and they might come into the
Speaker 4: office and say, guess what, we're going to change things around.
Speaker 4: But they need to be coming from a good moral soul.
Speaker 2: And you can tell that when you look at Africa,
Speaker 2: when you look at Ibrahem Treori, right, and you listen
Speaker 2: to him, he tells you the Mond state. He says, yeah,
Speaker 2: they'll tell you Man Kadafi did it this way, or
Speaker 2: the president of Haiti did it this way, and they're
Speaker 2: dead and this one's locked up.
Speaker 3: We reject. We're not scared.
Speaker 2: We understand in order to get what we want in
Speaker 2: order to change something that we might have to lose
Speaker 2: our lives, and we're willing to do that. That's the
Speaker 2: energy that we need in this moment. We don't need
Speaker 2: the old God telling us, well.
Speaker 5: That don't work.
Speaker 3: We tried, you see what have no.
Speaker 2: No, we want to hear somebody saying we're going to
Speaker 2: do the right thing, regardless if we have to die
Speaker 2: doing the right thing. We're going to stand up for
Speaker 2: the people. We're going to speak the language of the people.
Speaker 2: We're going to put the laws in place that the
Speaker 2: people want that are going to benefit the people. We're
Speaker 2: not doing status quo, and we don't want nobody that's
Speaker 2: trying to tell us that we have to do status
Speaker 2: quo because we rejected.
Speaker 4: But leading with the good moral conscious is important because
Speaker 4: some of the people that we have in position who've
Speaker 4: never done these things before, who are the ultimate whatever
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, di, but I'm not even doing
Speaker 4: that because no, you know, the ultimate disasters. They don't
Speaker 4: have a good moral soul, a good moral compass, and
Speaker 4: therefore their way of doing things, the new way is
Speaker 4: to hurt, harm and destroy. We're looking for people who
Speaker 4: have a new way of doing things, new ideas, fresh
Speaker 4: ways of being, but they want to be right by
Speaker 4: the community, the people, and the most disadvantage these people
Speaker 4: that some folks. I'm not talking about, my friend, I'm
Speaker 4: just about some folks, the people that they want to push.
Speaker 4: They're the same people that support that nonsense that's happening
Speaker 4: in Israel palasign. They're the same people who will stand
Speaker 4: there and continue to inflate the police budget. They're the
Speaker 4: same people running around talking about I'm running on the
Speaker 4: anti Semitism line. Like what is I get the concept
Speaker 4: of fighting for the protection of all citizens, including our
Speaker 4: Jewish brothers and sisters, but what are y'all talking about? Like,
Speaker 4: come on, let's let's let's be for real. And you
Speaker 4: think you think when those types of people are running
Speaker 4: for office, what you think the rest of society looks
Speaker 4: at us and says.
Speaker 1: This gotta be a joke. This has got to be
Speaker 1: a joke.
Speaker 4: I don't even want you to run on the anti
Speaker 4: black racism line. I don't even want that. That's not
Speaker 4: what I'm looking for. That's not what I'm looking for.
Speaker 4: What I'm looking for you to do is have baked
Speaker 4: in all of your policies a way to make sure
Speaker 4: that all people are safe and not to lead black
Speaker 4: folks or students who are protesting against something that they
Speaker 4: know with their own eyes is wrong.
Speaker 1: That's what we're looking for. So, you know, we just
Speaker 1: live in a society that's just so.
Speaker 4: And it's like everything you say and do, the twisting
Speaker 4: of the words and the ideas, God help.
Speaker 1: Us, God help us, it's a lot. It's a lot.
Speaker 4: And speaking of a lot, the TMI today is it
Speaker 4: too much? Or some people might say, hey, get over
Speaker 4: it dogs on planes.
Speaker 3: You can't stand.
Speaker 1: I don't have a.
Speaker 4: Problem with dogs on planes. I don't have a problem
Speaker 4: with dogs on planes. People have their dogs. I've been
Speaker 4: traveling with dogs forever. And sometimes even though I don't
Speaker 4: deal with dogs at all, I don't deal with dogs
Speaker 4: at all all. But sometimes people get on the plane
Speaker 4: a little cute dog. I look at it and I'm like,
Speaker 4: this is a cute little dog, and me and the
Speaker 4: dog be.
Speaker 1: Like, you know, okay, you cool whatever. It's not a
Speaker 1: big deal.
Speaker 5: Dog.
Speaker 4: People don't generally their dogs don't bother anybody, right, But
Speaker 4: this new thing that's happening, and it's been going on kind.
Speaker 1: Of and inchin and echin.
Speaker 4: For a few years, and now it has become like
Speaker 4: a just I don't even understand what's going on here
Speaker 4: where people's dogs are this big big dogs, long dogs,
Speaker 4: big old, like not baby dogs that people are getting
Speaker 4: on the plane with and either stuffing them a little
Speaker 4: bit up under the seat, or the dog's face is.
Speaker 1: Out in the aisle, out in different ways.
Speaker 4: I was on the plane the other night where a
Speaker 4: woman fell almost to her face. People had to grab
Speaker 4: her because this couple had a dog so big that
Speaker 4: the man couldn't fit his foot in the aisle, and
Speaker 4: so his foot was kind of out and the woman
Speaker 4: tripped over his foot as she was coming down because
Speaker 4: the dog was just that big in the too this
Speaker 4: is and it.
Speaker 1: Wasn't you know what.
Speaker 4: Honestly, it wasn't one of the big, big, big dogs,
Speaker 4: but it was still too big to fit under the
Speaker 4: seat properly.
Speaker 1: So the man was like.
Speaker 4: Trying awkwardly to get his feet positioned somewhere. And I
Speaker 4: think that, you know, I think it's doing too much.
Speaker 4: But the rest of people, people might look at me
Speaker 4: and just like, oh, you're a hater, you know So
Speaker 4: what just just be unconversation. What happened to the passenger rights?
Speaker 4: Because now if you apply for a status to say
Speaker 4: that this dog is your your service dog, that you
Speaker 4: need this dog, then now that.
Speaker 1: Just everybody is free to do what they want.
Speaker 4: So okay, the woman and the man have the dog
Speaker 4: sitting there, the dog is halfway out. Now when it
Speaker 4: is time for us to get off the plane, they
Speaker 4: have to stand up. You know why, because there is
Speaker 4: a woman or a man whatever that is in the window.
Speaker 1: They are in the middle and our seat and I'm
Speaker 1: in the ole seat where I always am.
Speaker 4: So they gotta get up, They gotta get out the
Speaker 4: way because people are moving around. Now they're standing in
Speaker 4: the middle of the owl with this big dog. Who
Speaker 4: one does what is a damn cardinal's sin to me?
Speaker 4: He gets on his tail is in my because he's
Speaker 4: this long. His tail is in my aisle, and his
Speaker 4: head is the other way, and he does what dogs do.
Speaker 4: But it's a cardinal to me on my damn clothes
Speaker 4: is he starts shaking his body and getting you know,
Speaker 4: shaking himself getting up. So now his but let's just
Speaker 4: say he doesn't have Please. What he did have was
Speaker 4: hair that ended up on my black sweatpants. And I
Speaker 4: don't have the animals, so I should not have to
Speaker 4: take home with me. Nobody's dog's hair. So that's number one.
Speaker 4: Then when it's time for them to start walking, he
Speaker 4: turns around. He's trying to figure out his way. He's
Speaker 4: got a big body, and now his face is over
Speaker 4: here next to me, and I'm like, and a lady
Speaker 4: says to me, oh, you're fine. No, I'm not fine.
Speaker 4: I'm not fine.
Speaker 1: Because this is inconvenience to me.
Speaker 4: We're on a plane and now, all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: the new rules are which they.
Speaker 1: Never put statements out.
Speaker 4: I am a Diamond member, I'm in the highest level
Speaker 4: of traveling on Delta, and I have never ever ever
Speaker 4: seen an email that came out from them saying that
Speaker 4: you will now have to share space with dogs that
Speaker 4: are damned near your size. I'm not the size of Alista,
Speaker 4: a nice sized child.
Speaker 1: It's not okay with me. It's really not.
Speaker 4: And I don't care who gets upset because people don't
Speaker 4: feel people.
Speaker 1: And by the way, folks feel like.
Speaker 4: Because what she said to me, I hear all the time,
Speaker 4: and I've heard it before people got bit I've heard
Speaker 4: it before people had a bad encounter with a dog.
Speaker 4: Oh you're fine, Oh she's fine, or he's not gonna
Speaker 4: do anything too. But everybody is not comfortable with your pet.
Speaker 4: It is not a human. I don't care what you say.
Speaker 4: This is your pet, and everybody is not comfortable with that.
Speaker 4: And I notice that this is a normal prot thing
Speaker 4: that happens in spaces when somebody's uncomfortable with the animal.
Speaker 4: It's like people are looking at you like you out
Speaker 4: of your mind, like it's something wrong with you. I
Speaker 4: don't want your dog to die. I'm not saying there
Speaker 4: shouldn't be dogs. I'm saying that it is not fair
Speaker 4: that I now have to experience something that it really
Speaker 4: makes me not I don't like dogs.
Speaker 2: We know, we I mean, we can tell from this
Speaker 2: conversation that you're not really thrilled with the dog. Tamia
Speaker 2: doesn't want the dogs on the plane, not the big ones.
Speaker 1: I just don't.
Speaker 4: I feel like, if that's what you're gonna do, then
Speaker 4: the people who are sitting next to you need to
Speaker 4: have They need to be informed or something that has
Speaker 4: to be more work done. Where the people are sitting
Speaker 4: next to you get the choice of whether or not
Speaker 4: they want to sit there with your big dog, and
Speaker 4: it should be somewhere on the ticket person will be
Speaker 4: next to you with a dog, a huge dog. This
Speaker 4: man had a pit ball on the plane in front
Speaker 4: of me the other day.
Speaker 3: Huge dog, pit bull?
Speaker 1: What in the world are we talking about?
Speaker 4: All I know about pit bulls is not something that
Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not well. I know some people that
Speaker 4: got some beautiful pit bulls that they love, and I'm
Speaker 4: sure that's because it's different from the I gw up in.
Speaker 1: The projects with.
Speaker 4: But at the same time as a person who watched
Speaker 4: the pit bull bite my sister.
Speaker 3: It used to be a people. I didn't mean to
Speaker 3: interrupt you.
Speaker 2: It was a guy named Mikey that used to live
Speaker 2: across the street from me in the Bronx, and his
Speaker 2: dog would run out the building and we had a
Speaker 2: tire that was cooked up to the monkey balls. He
Speaker 2: had a chain and the tire and every day, no
Speaker 2: matter who was in the park, that dog would run.
Speaker 3: Come through the park, the kids wouldrun.
Speaker 2: He'd just run straight to the tire and hang on
Speaker 2: the tire for about forty five minutes straight, literally locked
Speaker 2: hanging in the air on to the tiger.
Speaker 3: Locked. Yeah, it was the craziest shit I've ever seen.
Speaker 2: And with everybody just standing around, he would lock for
Speaker 2: forty five minutes.
Speaker 4: Well, people have been traumatized by stories that they have.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't play with dogs. It's not my thing.
Speaker 4: And I feel like, damn, here, I am paying whatever
Speaker 4: because Delta's tickets say it's not this not this is
Speaker 4: not the cheapest airline, right, This is an airline that
Speaker 4: charges you in comparison to the level of service that
Speaker 4: they give most of the time. Because I have I
Speaker 4: could sit here and say, well, sometimes they don't meet
Speaker 4: the level. But for the most part, my experience on
Speaker 4: Delta is decent. It could be cleaner, but it's not
Speaker 4: the worst because I've been on some other flights that
Speaker 4: oh my god.
Speaker 1: So they charge for their service and.
Speaker 4: I don't mind paying, even though I do mind paying,
Speaker 4: but I pay it because I want to be comfortable
Speaker 4: as much as I have to fly. But now I'm
Speaker 4: having to make myself shrink and be to accommodate somebody's
Speaker 4: pet that is not of Yorky or teacup or whatever.
Speaker 4: These daughter little what's the other one to look face
Speaker 4: that I love? Anyway, no one else cares but me.
Speaker 4: I'm sure people will tell me that I suck and
Speaker 4: I'm horrible.
Speaker 3: No, I think, but I think.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think this is reasonable. If somebody is
Speaker 2: paying for a ticket, right, especially you you travel in
Speaker 2: you know, good class most of the time, they should
Speaker 2: be notified that there's going to be a dog next
Speaker 2: to him. And I think if a dog is a
Speaker 2: certain size, and you should have to pay for the
Speaker 2: seat right so that the dog has his own space
Speaker 2: and an't got it like the dog can be underneath
Speaker 2: the seat by itself, nothing in front of him, not
Speaker 2: imposing itself on anybody else.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's I agree.
Speaker 4: The people had to come over to the man with
Speaker 4: the pit bull talking about, oh, sir, your dog's face
Speaker 4: can't be in in the aisle.
Speaker 1: This is different people. This is the same flight.
Speaker 4: By the way, there one big dog here and one
Speaker 4: man here. They come over to him something, your dog
Speaker 4: can't have his face and the thing and and maybe
Speaker 4: he wasn't a pit bull, but he looked like one.
Speaker 4: But I know that that might not be a thing.
Speaker 4: And maybe pit bulls are not considered to be I
Speaker 4: don't know companions, so I don't know. But anyway, he
Speaker 4: looked just like a pit bull. So they like, move
Speaker 4: your face in. He has to move his face in.
Speaker 1: Well, the damn dog.
Speaker 4: It wasn't that that the man was purposely just letting
Speaker 4: his dog hang out.
Speaker 1: He can't fit. Yeah, this space is too tight for
Speaker 1: my purse.
Speaker 3: The dog French bulldog.
Speaker 1: French bulldog.
Speaker 2: So we have a guest that's coming up, one of
Speaker 2: my brothers. I want you to pay attention, smart dude,
Speaker 2: cool dude, my gud. And today we have not a friend,
Speaker 2: a brother. This is one of my brothers. You know,
Speaker 2: we say the word day ones. This is my brother
Speaker 2: from back in the day one from the b D
Speaker 2: from the West Side, from Nelson Merriam, from the playground.
Speaker 3: You know, we grew up and just watching who he's
Speaker 3: become is just amazing. You know.
Speaker 2: In my journey in music, he was one of the
Speaker 2: closest people to me, helped me with a lot of ideas, influences.
Speaker 3: Like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: He was always always a cool like he was always
Speaker 2: we used to call him the young man because he
Speaker 2: was so cool was He just always was one of
Speaker 2: those people, you.
Speaker 3: Know, asking itself up.
Speaker 2: But don't worry about we. I mean we outside you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, We don't look like we've been through.
Speaker 3: Man. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: I like that. And you said day one, I will
Speaker 5: say the negative before negative negative.
Speaker 3: Trying to figure it out. We're trying to figure it out.
Speaker 5: We got to one and then we got we got
Speaker 5: one because of you.
Speaker 3: Well, I appreciate that. But listen, I'm introducing you.
Speaker 2: Don't we give me too much flowers right now, man,
Speaker 2: because you know what, I appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Man, I love it.
Speaker 2: My brother Harold Harry o' wilkinson, the CEO of Chase
Speaker 2: Republic College, professor entertainment, executive, martial artists, and father, and
Speaker 2: today we are joined by him to talk about his life,
Speaker 2: his legacy. His book is Beyond Words. It's the art
Speaker 2: of calculated communication. Thank you for I mean, you know something,
Speaker 2: I do this.
Speaker 3: You know I do this for real?
Speaker 5: Yes, you do, and I appreciate thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you for being here. The cool HARRYO. Everywhere
Speaker 1: I go, they'd be like, oh yeah, Harry, Oh, that's
Speaker 1: my guy. That's Diddy everybody you know.
Speaker 5: That's that's really dope to hear. I was just telling somebody,
Speaker 5: people meet your reputation before they meet you. You know,
Speaker 5: your reputation shows up way before you show up, so
Speaker 5: it's really important to keep that intact. And the way
Speaker 5: you do that is just be as genuine as possible.
Speaker 5: Even though we're in this nasty entertainment business, you still
Speaker 5: just have to you know, lead with lead with a
Speaker 5: light about you have a certain level of integrity. And
Speaker 5: thankfully to God, I was able to do that. So
Speaker 5: you know, people, hopefully they have some nice things to
Speaker 5: say about them.
Speaker 2: They should give a little background, you know, because we
Speaker 2: got this book and we know all of these accolades
Speaker 2: and who you are now. But just give a little
Speaker 2: background on how you got here and what you want.
Speaker 5: Well, yes, I can tell you a little bit about myself.
Speaker 5: It's sometimes the most difficult thing. Like you talk about yourself,
Speaker 5: I feel like you're bragging everything. Well, I just give
Speaker 5: you the short story of it. So I started in
Speaker 5: the entertainment business as a hip hop artist, as a rapper, right,
Speaker 5: very very young. I had a deal with Uptown Records.
Speaker 5: That's my first record deal, Uptown Records with you remember
Speaker 5: James Jones who lived in thirteen eighty.
Speaker 4: James Jones, James Jones, Jones old school stuff.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, thirteen eighty is a building in the Bronx
Speaker 5: and an executive that lived in that building named James Jones.
Speaker 5: God bless her. So he was an executive at Uptown Records, right,
Speaker 5: and he found me. I think I was maybe eighth grade,
Speaker 5: I can't remember. And I had a development deal with
Speaker 5: Uptown Records, and that's how I first started in entertainment business.
Speaker 5: Then quickly that went away for whatever reason. Then I
Speaker 5: had a deal with Motown Records in between the deal
Speaker 5: with Motown Records and Kedo Massenberg, I was also working
Speaker 5: with Puff with Diddy, we didn't ever sign a deal
Speaker 5: with bad Boy, but he would have me in the
Speaker 5: studio doing a lot of writing, doing a lot of touring,
Speaker 5: so on and so forth. And I have a relationship
Speaker 5: with my through music in which we'll talk about as well.
Speaker 5: So I went from Uptown Records, went to Motown Records,
Speaker 5: and then Murder in Records is where it ended. I
Speaker 5: always like to say I got credits in different companies
Speaker 5: like a college, Like I got transfer credits from bad Boy,
Speaker 5: I got transfer credits from Motown. I got my last credits,
Speaker 5: my last twenty credits I needed to graduate. I got
Speaker 5: with Murder Inc. And then I transitioned into like more
Speaker 5: behind the scenes things like that. But that's the short
Speaker 5: version of how I came about where I am and today.
Speaker 4: So from the music aspect, what makes you say I'm
Speaker 4: gonna switch course like I can't, I'm not gonna do
Speaker 4: this or invest so much of my intention into being
Speaker 4: an artist.
Speaker 5: Good question. So there's two things that happened. One, I
Speaker 5: became a father right to my daughter. But when you
Speaker 5: are in entertainment, and you love entertainment. I always loved
Speaker 5: to be a part of entertainment. It was just a
Speaker 5: natural thing to transition into behind the scenes because one
Speaker 5: of one of the things that God gave me as
Speaker 5: a natural ability which I transform into a skill, was
Speaker 5: connecting with people, knowing how to deal with people. So
Speaker 5: when I was a hip hop artist, I would build
Speaker 5: these relationships, like I used to go down to death
Speaker 5: jam with my song when he had his deal, and
Speaker 5: I didn't know the effect I was having on certain people.
Speaker 5: From Chris Lighty God bless her Dad to Eric Nix,
Speaker 5: all these people took a liking to me, took a
Speaker 5: liking to me, took a liking to me more. They
Speaker 5: liked more my personality than whatever music we were doing. So
Speaker 5: as a start to transition out of being an artist,
Speaker 5: that door was just open for me to walk into
Speaker 5: be an executive. It was like an easy, easy transition.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was always the person that, like I said, he
Speaker 2: used the cool dude. He would come in and he
Speaker 2: always had something to add to something right, so he
Speaker 2: would listen. He would always he always paid attention, Like
Speaker 2: if I was doing music in the studio.
Speaker 3: He would listen to the beat.
Speaker 2: He'd be in his own corner and he would listen
Speaker 2: to what I'm saying and then he'll come to, you
Speaker 2: should probably make the chorus like this, or make the
Speaker 2: melody go like this. He always added something, so even
Speaker 2: Chris Light, he would see him doing that. Tone would
Speaker 2: see him do it and be like, your old needs
Speaker 2: to be around because he brought something to the table.
Speaker 2: He was always trying to add a piece of the puzzle. So,
Speaker 2: like he said, he would come down to the to
Speaker 2: Varick Street that was like the spot at that time
Speaker 2: def jam Verick, and he would go in to offices
Speaker 2: and he would build his own relationship with Chris Light.
Speaker 2: He'd be like, yo, I think you should do this
Speaker 2: with mice well and he would sit there and say,
Speaker 2: Christ what you think if you did this, if you
Speaker 2: market this, I think the video should go like this.
Speaker 2: He always was staying in the end. Then they would
Speaker 2: ask him questions. They would come to him be like
Speaker 2: what do you think about this?
Speaker 3: And he'd be like, well, I don't really like that
Speaker 3: that much.
Speaker 2: I don't And then he started building his own relationships
Speaker 2: with that, and even so.
Speaker 3: It morphed you know when I got locked up, because
Speaker 3: always a part of.
Speaker 2: We had our own thing called the Problem Children, right,
Speaker 2: So we had five different personalities. Everybody had their own
Speaker 2: personality like us. Traveling was like I even get into
Speaker 2: all that. But we said we had we had a ball,
Speaker 2: like you know what I'm saying, Like we we we
Speaker 2: left the block and we just started exploring life. He
Speaker 2: was young, twenty twenty one year old kids in Miami.
Speaker 3: Probably he wasn't.
Speaker 5: When I was.
Speaker 2: Two years younger, but don't guts, but what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: we were just exploring life and was always a person
Speaker 2: to listen and pay attention and add something to it.
Speaker 2: So it was me him becoming an executive and moving
Speaker 2: into that, you know, to the offices in those buildings.
Speaker 2: It was natural for me. I didn't I already seen
Speaker 2: that before it happened, you know. And then he started
Speaker 2: hanging with Joe Rode. They met on a set of
Speaker 2: Somewhere a movie. He was so he gonna tell you
Speaker 2: that story, but they met and then they built their
Speaker 2: own relationship and partnership and then it went from there.
Speaker 5: Like today, I'm a part of like Jos. Like first
Speaker 5: Jo was my brother. I always want to be Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's my brother, that's the most important element of our relationship.
Speaker 5: That's my brother. Now outside of that, my company, Chase Republic,
Speaker 5: serves as like an independent agency for him where we
Speaker 5: do a lot of different deals together. But let me
Speaker 5: just tell you a quick funny story. And I think
Speaker 5: I told this a long time ago. So when Mike
Speaker 5: was signed to Violator, like he said, I was always
Speaker 5: down in the office. I mean, Chris Lighty is taking
Speaker 5: a liking to me. Everyone is loving my ideas. So
Speaker 5: one day Chris Lighty and Eric Nick set up a
Speaker 5: meeting to see if I can get an A and
Speaker 5: R position. A definitely. I'm still an artist at the time.
Speaker 5: So they're like, Yo, we want you to meet because
Speaker 5: we think you're great for this job. Go meet with
Speaker 5: whoever they want me to meet with. So I get
Speaker 5: into Guy's office. We're talking to Guy asked me three questions. Right,
Speaker 5: he says, what do you think about cash money? Records?
Speaker 5: Cash money? Just like they just began. So I said
Speaker 5: what I said about cash money. Then he asked me
Speaker 5: another question, what do you think about this? I forgot
Speaker 5: the answer. Then he asked me this third question. He
Speaker 5: so he goes, who do you think is going to
Speaker 5: sell more records my song or Wow, I'm sitting and
Speaker 5: I'm looking at like how you asked? You know who
Speaker 5: I'm with? Right, So I'm like and I'm looking at
Speaker 5: him like real perplexed, like mice, my song is selling
Speaker 5: more records than jo Easy. He looked at me, he goes,
Speaker 5: all right, cool, it's nice to meet you. Whatever, and
Speaker 5: then that then.
Speaker 3: That was it.
Speaker 1: I didn't get the job.
Speaker 5: And of course, listen, my career got derailed for some
Speaker 5: unfortunate circumstances. Who knows, maybe he had he could have
Speaker 5: went off and sell more than joh But the gentleman
Speaker 5: knew something out of all we had was us. That's
Speaker 5: all we have. I'm gonna ride with my team for
Speaker 5: every answer. That's my team. But Joe had a different
Speaker 5: machine with them, Like we had our core and our love.
Speaker 5: But Joah had Irv's mind, he had jay Z, he
Speaker 5: had d m X. We didn't have any of that
Speaker 5: in the core like d Max became came on about.
Speaker 3: I mean, we just we never had the opportunity to
Speaker 3: have that.
Speaker 5: We didn't.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying, Yeah we did, we didn't.
Speaker 2: But jo Joe is a generational artist, you know, he
Speaker 2: created his own side, he created his own lane. It
Speaker 2: was always competition like that when we walked into death Gym,
Speaker 2: that's what all John. So we was in competition, like
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. So when they built their
Speaker 2: own relationship, I know he probably laughs at that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because me and like me and Joe got Me
Speaker 5: and Rule are like super tight, super tight. That's that's
Speaker 5: my guy right there. And yeah, and my company does
Speaker 5: a lot of different activations for a lot of different
Speaker 5: partnerships like we do with a lot of other talent
Speaker 5: that I probably talked about today.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I mean, and that's the problem in and
Speaker 4: of itself that you probably could have helped that person
Speaker 4: who interviewed you make millions of dollars, but they were
Speaker 4: so caught up in trying to, you know, do the
Speaker 4: the division competition thing. And it's because the question is disrespectful.
Speaker 4: If you know who I'm here with just to ask
Speaker 4: me that is, if you want me to show you
Speaker 4: that I am going to cut my friends back. And
Speaker 4: they might really have been thinking that as well, because
Speaker 4: we know the industry is so cut through, right, it's
Speaker 4: so cut through.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry because I didn't even look at it that
Speaker 5: way gave me a Yeah, you gave me a different
Speaker 5: perspective because all these years I never looked at it
Speaker 5: that way.
Speaker 4: They might have been just trying to see like, do
Speaker 4: you have this undying loyalty to somebody or are you
Speaker 4: willing to sit in this room and say something because.
Speaker 1: They might need to send you to do that. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: That that's why I said to me because you're very,
Speaker 5: very very because I m wrong, But it makes it makes.
Speaker 3: Sense because why would somebody ask me that?
Speaker 5: Well, let me tell you why. A possible reason they
Speaker 5: could ask it. But I love your theory on it
Speaker 5: because no matter what you asked me the question, I'm
Speaker 5: always gonna ride with my team, but the other perception
Speaker 5: of it could be all right, I want to see
Speaker 5: if you can be biased. I know that's your friend.
Speaker 5: What do you know of Joe Rule and his ability
Speaker 5: in comparison to your friends? You feel like, how do
Speaker 5: you feel? Do you know your friends?
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying, it's still out of pocket
Speaker 2: question because you're telling me that's like somebody you seeing
Speaker 2: Lebron and you seeing Mellow and you hang with Mellow
Speaker 2: every day and you don't watch Melo score forty fifty
Speaker 2: sixty game and then before they get to the NBA.
Speaker 3: And they ask you, who won't be a better NBA player?
Speaker 5: I'm not.
Speaker 3: There's no way that I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2: I see, okay, Lebron score forty but I know my
Speaker 2: man can score forty two, right, So I understand it
Speaker 2: that when you look now in hindsight.
Speaker 3: You're gonna be like everybodys gonna be like, well, you know, of.
Speaker 5: Course, hindsight is always gonna be but that's okay.
Speaker 1: But I still just not gonna say it. It just doesn't.
Speaker 1: But let me just say this because.
Speaker 4: You you mentioned something that I wrote down here, which
Speaker 4: is that you had an ability that you turned into
Speaker 4: a skill. These young folks need learn about this. We've
Speaker 4: been educating the last two weeks the young fulk on
Speaker 4: a lot of things, but the ability to a skill.
Speaker 4: Because some people think because they have the passion, they
Speaker 4: got the talent, they have the thing, that they also
Speaker 4: have the skill set to operate it and help and
Speaker 4: use it to make them successful.
Speaker 1: There's a difference.
Speaker 5: It's a big difference. Like the ability when I mentioned
Speaker 5: it in the context of God planted the ability you
Speaker 5: have what it takes to connect with people and to
Speaker 5: build You have what it takes to make a life
Speaker 5: from yourself, just from you. I planted that within side you.
Speaker 5: The skill is now you have to work at that.
Speaker 5: You have to work at what the ability I gave you.
Speaker 5: You may have a talent to play basketball, you have
Speaker 5: the ability, but you have to work at your skill.
Speaker 5: You have to apply discipline, You have to understand where
Speaker 5: your strengths are. You have to seek counsel. You have
Speaker 5: to understand that you don't have all the answers and
Speaker 5: you want to be better. So, yes, I was God
Speaker 5: playing to something inside of me, being an ability to
Speaker 5: connect with people, deal with people, a certain mind that
Speaker 5: he gave me, and I work at the skill of it.
Speaker 5: To now when we write a book is beyond words,
Speaker 5: the art of calculator communication. I understand that I'm putting
Speaker 5: forth to skill and something that was already playing in
Speaker 5: side of me. So to your point, to me get
Speaker 5: the young people, sometimes we got to give them some
Speaker 5: time because I didn't. I didn't just wake up and
Speaker 5: get there at twenty twenty two, twenty three, twenty four.
Speaker 5: It was a process of getting there process, God was,
Speaker 5: God had me going straight. It was a process. But
Speaker 5: once that lightning come in and once you're unlocked, then
Speaker 5: these young people they'll be able, toy'll be able to
Speaker 5: get it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but sometimes we take too long to figure it out,
Speaker 4: and then that's when you end up because sometimes you
Speaker 4: you might also use your abilities and make them a
Speaker 4: skill set for the wrong things.
Speaker 5: Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah, No, It's is like
Speaker 5: you know, I used to watch cartoons like this power.
Speaker 5: If you have it in your hand, you can use
Speaker 5: it for good or use it for evil. Not to
Speaker 5: get so spiritual, but that's when you have to have
Speaker 5: all right, you have to have some type of faith
Speaker 5: now to keep you on the right track of with
Speaker 5: this ability of skill. Because yes, to go back to
Speaker 5: the book right the art of calculator communication. When you
Speaker 5: hear the word calculated, people may think manipulative or this
Speaker 5: or that. No, I'm talking about using this information in
Speaker 5: the light of how God wants you to move, how
Speaker 5: you move with this information. How can you be calculated
Speaker 5: to get the things you need? But you're not at
Speaker 5: the harm, you're not harming someone else, So that makes sense.
Speaker 2: So it's like it's like when I tell people the
Speaker 2: difference between a hustle and a drug dealer. A drug
Speaker 2: dealer can only sell drugs. A hustle can sell anything. Yes,
Speaker 2: And it's all in the mind frame. Yes, Because when
Speaker 2: you look at jay Z, when you look at fifty cent,
Speaker 2: when you look at cash money, you look you watched
Speaker 2: drug dealersansform into hustlers. They realize, Oh, I'm just changing
Speaker 2: the product, right, I'm not harming nobody anymore. I'm using
Speaker 2: the same skill set, the same god giving ability to
Speaker 2: make deals and sit down with people and sell this
Speaker 2: or you want to buy. It's the same exact skill set.
Speaker 2: So once you realize that you have that ability and
Speaker 2: you turn it into skill and you use it for
Speaker 2: the right thing, it's calculated, like you said, and it's
Speaker 2: not manipulative. It's me using the best things that I have.
Speaker 2: It's like I know that I know how to speak,
Speaker 2: I know how to make people pay attention. When I
Speaker 2: went into death Jam's office, a lot of them was like,
Speaker 2: I don't really like this music this. But when I
Speaker 2: sat down with Leo and I was talking to him
Speaker 2: and I was rapping the same songs to him, He's like,
Speaker 2: that's it. Right there watching you visually give these messages.
Speaker 2: Is what's going We're gonna make video. This is what
Speaker 2: he told me. Absolutely, and I realized this was a
Speaker 2: skill set that I had. I realized the ability. I
Speaker 2: realized that when I was talking to people, they were captivated. Right,
Speaker 2: So I utilized that skill set. And that's what people
Speaker 2: have to do. You have to find the thing that
Speaker 2: you have that makes it, makes it tangible and makes
Speaker 2: it effective for you to be able to create some defense.
Speaker 5: And everything you want to do in this life. You
Speaker 5: already have everything you need inside of you. You just
Speaker 5: have to find.
Speaker 3: It's like to get for talking all the time. That's
Speaker 3: all she did was talk for real.
Speaker 5: That was always Now now you're the voice for the
Speaker 5: voice list. You understand you the voice for the voice list.
Speaker 5: Everything you need to go, wherever you want to go
Speaker 5: is already em bettered inside of you.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 5: You just have to find that and harness that and
Speaker 5: work towards it. Is a term of hope on the
Speaker 5: messagelized world of self actualization, right is reaching the highest
Speaker 5: level of yourself, the highest level of understanding you. And
Speaker 5: that's something I talk about in the book. As far
Speaker 5: as your intra personal intelligence. Your InTru is how you
Speaker 5: see yourself? How do you feel about yourself? What do
Speaker 5: you think about you? When you reach the highest level
Speaker 5: of understanding you, you understand that anything you want to
Speaker 5: do it's already and better than siety. But it's a
Speaker 5: process to get there. It's a process to get there.
Speaker 4: So tell us about your book. I'm really interested in,
Speaker 4: first of all, how you came up with the concept
Speaker 4: for the books and somebody help you or was it
Speaker 4: your own idea?
Speaker 1: And then what was your writing process?
Speaker 5: Yes, I can answer all of that, So let's start
Speaker 5: with the writing process.
Speaker 3: Yes, I can answer all because he's a professor.
Speaker 5: Yes, I'm a college professor, so we're going to start there.
Speaker 5: I'm a college professor. I've been teaching communication courses for
Speaker 5: over twelve years. Right, different levels of communication, So as
Speaker 5: a college professor, I started to understand communication on different aspects.
Speaker 5: When you ask someone how do you define communication? Right,
Speaker 5: I always ask the class. That's the first thing I asked,
Speaker 5: how do you define communication? Is speaking? In this and
Speaker 5: the communication is so much more than speaking, It's so
Speaker 5: much more than words. Hence the title, It's beyond words.
Speaker 5: Communication is beyond words, it's connection. So to answer your questions.
Speaker 5: This book started during the pandemic twenty twenty, when we
Speaker 5: were locked down. I started to write. I wanted to
Speaker 5: write a communication textbook because as a college professor, I
Speaker 5: go into the classrooms and the administration I don't want
Speaker 5: to say any administration name. They say hey, they say, hey,
Speaker 5: this is the TEXTICALLY want you to use. And I
Speaker 5: read the textbook and I go, Okay, why do I
Speaker 5: have to teach these students someone else's thoughts, Like, if
Speaker 5: you want me to just teach from this book and
Speaker 5: have them answer these questions, they might as well have
Speaker 5: just an independent study and do this at home. But
Speaker 5: if you want me in the class to show my
Speaker 5: ability and my skill, they're going to learn from my thoughts.
Speaker 5: So I said, you know what, let me write my
Speaker 5: own textbook. I started to write my own communication textbook
Speaker 5: and a journey with communication. All communications starts with intra
Speaker 5: personal intelligence. That's your conversation within. So we go from
Speaker 5: there to interpersonal community relationship with you and I. How
Speaker 5: I feel about me will determine how you and I connect, Right,
Speaker 5: so my intra will affect my inter So I discuss
Speaker 5: intra inter our relationship, how we build relationships into cultural communication?
Speaker 5: How do I connect with people who don't look like
Speaker 5: me or who have they're just from a different culture.
Speaker 5: We look alike, but we are not in the same culture.
Speaker 5: And I explain that, and then how do I apply
Speaker 5: emotional intelligence? Then we transition how do I become a
Speaker 5: leader in communication? So that's the journey of the book,
Speaker 5: and we can dig in more to it. It's one
Speaker 5: thing I said, and I don't want to ramble when
Speaker 5: I discuss culture and communication. I start the class, I say,
Speaker 5: how do you define culture? So the class will say
Speaker 5: they say all these things. I say, what's the example
Speaker 5: of culture? They say music, they say t you know, art, religion,
Speaker 5: so on and so forth. And then I say one statement,
Speaker 5: and I want them to answer after, what's your response
Speaker 5: to the statement? Culture and race are not the same?
Speaker 5: Culture and race are not synonymous. And I let them
Speaker 5: think for a second. They're like, Wow, culture and race
Speaker 5: aren't the same. Once you understand that just because you
Speaker 5: and I look alike, it doesn't mean we identify with
Speaker 5: the same culture. I have to realize that, understand that
Speaker 5: as I'm connecting with you, right, Oh yeah, we have
Speaker 5: the same skin color. Right, Say we add an event
Speaker 5: somewhere and I sit down and some people over there,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, look at that that Mexican woman over there.
Speaker 5: I'm joking, and You're like, do you have any idea
Speaker 5: with my culture? I know we have the same skin color,
Speaker 5: but you don't know my way of life. And I
Speaker 5: could sit there and be talking to and insulting you
Speaker 5: and not even knowing, and not.
Speaker 3: Even your father's Mexican.
Speaker 5: Won't even know it.
Speaker 4: It's an interesting conversation though, because I've been asked by
Speaker 4: a number of people to chime in on Fat Joe
Speaker 4: and other Latino at Latina brothers and sisters who use
Speaker 4: the N.
Speaker 1: Word right Like.
Speaker 4: People are like, oh, you're not upset, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: it's hard because I grew up in the projects in
Speaker 4: Harlem and my neighbors were Dominican and Puerto Rican, and
Speaker 4: then you know we First of all, I didn't have
Speaker 4: anybody around me at that young age that was African
Speaker 4: or like getting deeper into the black race. I was
Speaker 4: more connected to people who were of Latin descent.
Speaker 1: Than African, right I was.
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, now I have a total different
Speaker 4: It's kind of like flipped a little bit.
Speaker 1: I'm much more.
Speaker 4: I have more relationships with African Caribbean Nathum race individuals.
Speaker 1: But at that time that.
Speaker 4: Wasn't the case, and so we all had the same
Speaker 4: exact vernacular, like we all we spoke the same. Now,
Speaker 4: only thing that was different is that like if I
Speaker 4: you know, my family, they were very Southern. So the
Speaker 4: folks that our building, the Poppies and mommy, they didn't talk.
Speaker 4: They didn't have that Southern thing. And then of course
Speaker 4: I didn't speak Spanish, you know what I'm saying. So
Speaker 4: I get why some people would have an issue with
Speaker 4: it because they want to say black only black black
Speaker 4: black black black. But then if you grew up in
Speaker 4: the projects where it was where everybody was kind of
Speaker 4: the same and using the same terminology and speaking to
Speaker 4: each other that way, it's hard to now make the
Speaker 4: differentiation because they it probably fad Joe probably wouldn't even
Speaker 4: know how to speak without being able to use certain
Speaker 4: words because he just that's what he's so used to.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, like you said the key word vernacular right right,
Speaker 5: And you make my point. And this is what I
Speaker 5: try to get the young people in my class to understand.
Speaker 5: Vernacular is a form of as a language, right, that
Speaker 5: language it really you got to hear me on this
Speaker 5: language does not have it's not race base. Language is learned,
Speaker 5: you learn, you can learn language vernacular. So we are
Speaker 5: growing up in the same environment. We have the same vernacular,
Speaker 5: but we're saying the same things. If you're on a
Speaker 5: basketball course and you're playing basketball with with with Caesar, right,
Speaker 5: and he goes, Mike, come on and you fout me,
Speaker 5: you're not going to stop the game and fight season
Speaker 5: for like.
Speaker 3: It's just my best friend. So this is we had
Speaker 3: the same exact words that we said.
Speaker 4: Every right, you understand now, and you called him that,
Speaker 4: which is also a thing.
Speaker 5: This has to be clear. I'm not saying that it's
Speaker 5: right that we're not saying yeah, I'm just saying that
Speaker 5: whoever might be trying to kill us, I'm not saying
Speaker 5: it's right. I'm trying to make the distinction to understand
Speaker 5: what culture is culture culture versus race, and why that's
Speaker 5: important to how we connect and how we communicate.
Speaker 4: Because I don't know, I don't agree that it's right
Speaker 4: for us to use it either. So it's I'm not
Speaker 4: trying to make excuses for anybody. But we always say
Speaker 4: on this show that we are well, yeah right, We
Speaker 4: always say because we're not perfect individuals, and we always
Speaker 4: say that we live in contradiction that you know, we
Speaker 4: can we can say free Willy and know that Willy's
Speaker 4: supposed to be in jail because of the stuff that Willy.
Speaker 1: Done did right, like, but we want our friend to
Speaker 1: be free.
Speaker 4: But when we sit down and think about it, like, boy,
Speaker 4: WILLI was a problem, you know kind of we live
Speaker 4: in we are walking contradictions. Every day we eat the
Speaker 4: food we know is killing us, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: We go to the places where and shot with people
Speaker 4: who we know they don't care nothing about our community.
Speaker 1: So we are walking contradictions.
Speaker 4: But we have to try to have a majority, a
Speaker 4: majority of sound mind to say we're not gonna just
Speaker 4: let any damn thing happen in our community. Absolutely, and
Speaker 4: white folks can't be saying in word, that's it, that's it,
Speaker 4: that's it.
Speaker 5: Understand like I said, it's just it's just a thought
Speaker 5: process for you to understand, like as I pertained to
Speaker 5: the book, just to understand what culture and races and
Speaker 5: knowing that it's not the same so I know how
Speaker 5: to communicate and deal and connect because I can't assume
Speaker 5: anything because of how you look. I can't assume that.
Speaker 5: I can't assume that me and you have the same
Speaker 5: lifestyle because we look like no, no, no, we may not.
Speaker 3: We may not.
Speaker 5: So I have to as you may have heard the saying,
Speaker 5: I have two ears in one mouth, so I'm listen
Speaker 5: twice as much then I speak, so I could learn
Speaker 5: who you are, then I can connect with you.
Speaker 2: So yeah, So give us something that's in this book
Speaker 2: that you think is paramount, that is a key element
Speaker 2: of communication, an example of something.
Speaker 5: It's so much.
Speaker 4: That's how I am When people ask me, what is
Speaker 4: the part about your book that surprises people the most,
Speaker 4: I'm like the book.
Speaker 5: It's a whole book. It's so much right, But there's
Speaker 5: a couple components that I touched on first. I want
Speaker 5: to mention one thing, right, So in the back of
Speaker 5: the book, I talk about calculated communication and how it
Speaker 5: pertains in my business. How Chase Republic, my agency has
Speaker 5: partners with the Brooklyn Nets partnerships with the WNBA partnerships.
Speaker 5: How did you get these partnerships? You are independent mail,
Speaker 5: black mail, small company, how did you get these partnerships.
Speaker 5: I got these partnerships through calculated communication. I attended one
Speaker 5: Brooklyn Nets game, just a regular game as a fan.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna watch this game, got tickets to the game,
Speaker 5: and this one gentleman handed me the tickets. Right, I'm
Speaker 5: not going to give the who storyway because you gotta
Speaker 5: read the book. One gentleman handed me the tickets. So
Speaker 5: say this as a movie, as a gentleman handled me
Speaker 5: the tickets, and I hold the tickets, and we fast forward.
Speaker 5: You see me in the office with the owners of
Speaker 5: the Brooklyn Nets negotiating deals just from attending one game.
Speaker 5: So that's something that's paramount, Like how did you do that?
Speaker 5: Because everyone always asks me, like I see you know
Speaker 5: you're doing these deals of Major League Baseball. You're doing
Speaker 5: these deals with the Nets. You're doing these deals with deliberty.
Speaker 5: How did you do it? I just went to the game.
Speaker 5: I go to games all the time. Well, get the
Speaker 5: book and I show you how to do it. That's
Speaker 5: one key.
Speaker 1: You're intentional about when you walk in the States.
Speaker 5: Well, let's say this, right, in any room you walk into,
Speaker 5: if it's ten people in the room, at least two
Speaker 5: people can help you advance. If it's ten in any room,
Speaker 5: at least two people in a room of ten can
Speaker 5: help you advance. This ability and skill is finding out
Speaker 5: who those two people are, because you're not.
Speaker 1: The Jamilitary Davis model, right, not.
Speaker 5: Walking up to him with a clipboard like, hey, so
Speaker 5: what do you do you do this? No, it's ten
Speaker 5: people in them. So any room that I walk into,
Speaker 5: I say, all right, I need to walk out of
Speaker 5: here with something. I need to walk out of here
Speaker 5: with something.
Speaker 3: Like Denzel said, I'm.
Speaker 5: Leaving with something. I'm leaving with something. So even if
Speaker 5: I'm getting ready for like a networking event, like you
Speaker 5: know how sometimes you don't want to go out, I'm like,
Speaker 5: all right, let me go to this thing, let me
Speaker 5: go to this dinner. As I'm getting there, I say,
Speaker 5: I'm leaving here with something. I'm leaving What am I
Speaker 5: leaving with? Who's here? Who's at the o? Temika's at
Speaker 5: the dinner. My song's at the dinner. All right, I
Speaker 5: know a little bit about my song. I'm not going
Speaker 5: to get you ready. I studied my song. I watch something.
Speaker 5: I know his son plays soccer, my daughter's a dancer.
Speaker 5: I know a little bit about Tamika. All right, okay,
Speaker 5: soon as I sit next to Meka, this is what
Speaker 5: I'm going about. She mentioned something about living in Hall
Speaker 5: and blah blah blah blah blah blah. I'm gonna have
Speaker 5: a thirty minute conversation with you about Harlem, and before
Speaker 5: you know it, we're gonna be doing business. My son
Speaker 5: sons play soccer, my daughter dances.
Speaker 3: All right, how was.
Speaker 5: It being a soccer dad. I'll tell you how it's
Speaker 5: being a dance Da soccer dad, dance that soccer d dancer.
Speaker 5: Ah'll be laughing, joking. Next you know, me and my
Speaker 5: song is doing great business. But it's strategies to get there.
Speaker 5: You gotta get the book, so you.
Speaker 3: Get the book for the strategy.
Speaker 5: To get the book for the strategy.
Speaker 4: Next time you come, make sure you bring me a
Speaker 4: small sweatshirt so they don't want to together.
Speaker 1: I don't want no extra small, so you don't want
Speaker 1: to fish small. I can't even fitish small.
Speaker 4: But it just feel bad that you brought me a
Speaker 4: medium or that wasn't effective community cast.
Speaker 1: I needed you to bring both sides so that I would.
Speaker 5: Have to take you something because I actually I was
Speaker 5: in the inventory. I was looking for small, but I
Speaker 5: found like a bunch of mediums. I'm like, all right,
Speaker 5: let me just grab this medium.
Speaker 4: Nah, I appreciate it so well. Now I'm at least
Speaker 4: in the loop. Everybody had this stuff. I had nothing.
Speaker 5: No I got you. I'll make sure I take it.
Speaker 4: You know, it's so much more that we can talk about.
Speaker 4: But people should get the book.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: I find myself on my book tour just talking through
Speaker 4: everything and feeling like these people are even going to
Speaker 4: read it. But it does encourage folks because they're like, oh, no,
Speaker 4: I have to get into the pages. But I do
Speaker 4: want people to pick your book up. How can they
Speaker 4: get the book?
Speaker 1: First of all?
Speaker 4: And then are you out like speaking and touring? Is
Speaker 4: that something that you're open to do? If somebody's listening
Speaker 4: in they're like, oh, I need this type of person
Speaker 4: to come and speak at my school or teach a
Speaker 4: class or whatever.
Speaker 5: Well, first answer to the question, you can pick up
Speaker 5: the book on Amazon. You can go to Amazon and
Speaker 5: the search engine and just put in It's Beyond Words by.
Speaker 3: How with Wilkerson?
Speaker 1: Now your real name.
Speaker 5: Harold Wilkerson. Yeah, I couldn't put because I'm not saying
Speaker 5: everyone knows me, because some people are going to watch like,
Speaker 5: who the hell is this guy?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 5: And that's fine. But for the people that do know me,
Speaker 5: they know Harry O. They have no idea that I'm
Speaker 5: a college professor. They have no idea that there's Harold
Speaker 5: Wilkerson that is a whole other person. So I'm introducing
Speaker 5: the world to well, to the people that don't know
Speaker 5: Harold Wilkerson, I'm introducing them to Harold Wilkinson. So you
Speaker 5: can get the book on Amazon. Now to your second question,
Speaker 5: speaking engagement to talk about the book, Yes, I'm open
Speaker 5: to it. It took a long time for me to
Speaker 5: get to that point of it because working behind the
Speaker 5: scenes so long, I'm so comfortable with saying, hey, mice,
Speaker 5: I got something for you to do, and to me,
Speaker 5: I got something for you to do, and I just
Speaker 5: stand back and just be comfortable. But I had to
Speaker 5: write this book for two reasons. For a bunch of reasons,
Speaker 5: but two reasons. I want to mention. I tell my
Speaker 5: daughter that everybody wants to live forever. Everybody wants to
Speaker 5: live forever. Everybody I don't want. I'm wanna live forever.
Speaker 5: But there are only two ways you do that. You
Speaker 5: either make a difference or you influence somebody. That's the
Speaker 5: only way your name will live forever. So I decided
Speaker 5: this year this book needs to finish and come and
Speaker 5: come out because I want to leave a piece of
Speaker 5: me here like this hopefully will live past me. So
Speaker 5: I tell my kid, well, I didn't tell her this
Speaker 5: part because I didn't want to spook her out. But
Speaker 5: whenever daddy's gone, you need to hear my voice. You
Speaker 5: pick up the book, you're gonna hear your daddy's.
Speaker 3: Voice all through there.
Speaker 5: So I said, all right, I could be behind the
Speaker 5: scenes still and be Harry O. Harold is executive, but
Speaker 5: I need to leave a piece of me here. It's
Speaker 5: nothing better than leaving your mind here, right, So that's
Speaker 5: why the books.
Speaker 2: We got to get out here, Go and get this book.
Speaker 2: It's beyond words. The Art of Calculated Communication by Harold Wilkeson.
Speaker 4: Harold, I'm impressed, and I don't be saying I'm impressed.
Speaker 5: What I was saying is I know mice for a
Speaker 5: very long time. I know his intelligent level, I know
Speaker 5: his integrity, I know all these things. You have an
Speaker 5: association where we've been around a couple of times. But
Speaker 5: I also know your level of intelligence. I pay attention
Speaker 5: to it. So as I was coming here, I'm like,
Speaker 5: all right, I know how I know Mice, right, I said,
Speaker 5: But sitting across to me, I gotta bring my a game.
Speaker 5: I gotta know listen, thank you, because no, it's the
Speaker 5: truth when you when you study a person from a distance,
Speaker 5: which is a part of calculator communication, when you're studying
Speaker 5: a person from a distance, you're like, all right, you know,
Speaker 5: you know how she feels about views. She's strong, passionate,
Speaker 5: and she's so intelligent, and she'll call you out on bs.
Speaker 5: You better bring your a game. Me and Mice could
Speaker 5: talk about everything under the sun. When the mics off everything,
Speaker 5: we can have intelligent converice. We can have some of
Speaker 5: the most crazy conversations. But I'm like, all right, I'm
Speaker 5: sitting next to the black right now.
Speaker 3: This is different. It's my job. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5: Job, I said. I had to prepare myself because I'm
Speaker 5: sitting next you to me, and that's why I wore
Speaker 5: the jacket. She might like the jacket, I said, she
Speaker 5: might like the jackets. I'm with the jacket.
Speaker 1: I appreciate the reference.
Speaker 4: I appreciate the appreciation, but you know, when it all
Speaker 4: gets down to the nitty gritty of it all, I'm
Speaker 4: just a regular human girl from Harlem, just like you.
Speaker 4: So I can have any conversation. You call me and
Speaker 4: say the ignorant stuff and we can argue about that,
Speaker 4: or we can talk about the business. But one thing
Speaker 4: I would say, or I will say, is that, for
Speaker 4: the most part, even an ignorant conversation, I'm always trying
Speaker 4: to find the importance of like.
Speaker 1: Where are we going with this? What are we talking about?
Speaker 1: Because we're not voting for Trump? So I get it.
Speaker 1: We can joke if we can lab but we're not
Speaker 1: voting for Trump. That's that's it.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, I want to ask something because you said something.
Speaker 5: It's in my book too, as far as calculated cammunication. Right, So, say,
Speaker 5: if a person is coming to talk to you and
Speaker 5: say they have to give up their A game and
Speaker 5: they're a little bit nervous, I'm talking with Tamika, and
Speaker 5: I have this in my book. The thing to do
Speaker 5: is I have to sit across from you and find
Speaker 5: that girl from Harlem. I'm not I'm not talking to
Speaker 5: Tamika man. You know, I'm not, in my mind a
Speaker 5: girl from Harlem talk to girls from Harlem all day.
Speaker 5: I talked the good. So as I'm talking to you,
Speaker 5: I'm saying to myself, this is not to mea man,
Speaker 5: That's what it's a girl from Halem. So when you're
Speaker 5: sitting across and you having a meeting with jay Z,
Speaker 5: like some people, a man, I got this, got this
Speaker 5: meeting with jay Z.
Speaker 1: Messing yourself, messing yourself.
Speaker 5: You're going into the You're going into this game with
Speaker 5: the wrong strategy. Yes, just as a meeting with jay Z,
Speaker 5: you're having a meeting with this dude from Brooklyn, that's
Speaker 5: who you're meeting with, and you a guy from the Bronx,
Speaker 5: like he's a dude from Brooklyn. If I go in
Speaker 5: there with his perception in my mind, I'm at a disadvantage.
Speaker 5: I lost.
Speaker 4: But let's just be clear, because people listen to every
Speaker 4: word and they will take exactly what you're saying and
Speaker 4: apply it.
Speaker 1: Don't go to the meeting with jay Z talking ma, yo,
Speaker 1: what's up? Yo? Are you doing?
Speaker 5: Yo?
Speaker 1: That's not that.
Speaker 2: But you know in a small because listen, when you
Speaker 2: look at jay Z circle right, when you look at
Speaker 2: Wan right, Wan is the most authentic person he still
Speaker 2: but he ain't saying Yo, what I'm just saying. Wan
Speaker 2: was having a regular conversation with him.
Speaker 1: I get that.
Speaker 3: This is what what I'm saying, just to his point,
Speaker 3: right to his point was.
Speaker 2: Yan ain't no executive heard the nigga from the streets
Speaker 2: that met with Jay and treated him like yo, what's up?
Speaker 2: And they and instead and when I talked to me
Speaker 2: and Wong got this same. That's the way his communication
Speaker 2: is authentic all around the boarder.
Speaker 4: I don't disagree, but I think there is a difference
Speaker 4: because some.
Speaker 1: People try.
Speaker 5: And You're absolutely right. So like the point I'm making,
Speaker 5: like as far as in with the book, No, you're
Speaker 5: not going to go in there and be unprofessional, but
Speaker 5: if you're going to this meeting with this figure, to
Speaker 5: prepare yourself for this meeting, don't think about them as
Speaker 5: the person you've been listening to their albums and watching
Speaker 5: their videos, don't think about them that way. I need
Speaker 5: to find who you are inside that I relate to. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm not jay Z. I didn't sell a million brothers.
Speaker 5: I didn't do this, but you grew up in the projects.
Speaker 5: This this and that I'm talking to that person right there.
Speaker 5: I'm mentally preparing myself to have that conversation.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got to read the book because what about
Speaker 4: the people who don't want to be reminded that they're
Speaker 4: from the projects and it's just the regular person.
Speaker 5: But no, here's the thing they don't want to be.
Speaker 1: You're gonna talk about it.
Speaker 5: You're not talking about it all it's in my head.
Speaker 5: It's all right. So my last example, I'm sorry. I
Speaker 5: had a friend I'm not gonna mens his name. He
Speaker 5: was dating a movie star, big movie star, and he
Speaker 5: was like, yo, about to go out to eat ya.
Speaker 5: You're nervousness and this and that. So I would say, listen,
Speaker 5: stay off her Instagram, don't watch any of her movies,
Speaker 5: don't do that. He's like, wow, I said, because you're
Speaker 5: talking to the perception of the person. I said, when
Speaker 5: you're doing that, you're at a disadvantage. She's going out
Speaker 5: on a date with you.
Speaker 3: She already likes exactly.
Speaker 5: You got a phone number, she already likes you. So
Speaker 5: but if you study, if you're sitting there watching TV
Speaker 5: looking like, oh my god, hearing everything on the radio
Speaker 5: about her, you may go add it at a disadvantage.
Speaker 5: So in your head, you gotta suppress that idea of them.
Speaker 5: I'm just talking to a girl from Harlem. That's not
Speaker 5: to me it.
Speaker 1: I love it, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 5: The next thing, you know, she's.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, I love you.
Speaker 5: So it's so cool to be around. Like, yeah, I know, calculator, calculator, calculator.
Speaker 1: You gotta pick up the book for it, the bookcase.
Speaker 1: I know what y'all gonna say about that last comment,
Speaker 1: but you know.
Speaker 3: It's called games.
Speaker 5: Actually, I got to say something that it's not to
Speaker 5: be manipulative.
Speaker 1: You said that already.
Speaker 5: It's it's because a man natural nervousness with a beautiful woman.
Speaker 5: I don't care what men tell you. They're going to
Speaker 5: have a natural nervousness around a beautiful woman. So how
Speaker 5: do you suppress that nervous How do you prepare for
Speaker 5: the game?
Speaker 2: You gotta you gotta visions Like she got a book
Speaker 2: in her nose. You know what I'm saying. She got
Speaker 2: a booking like everybody.
Speaker 1: Looking got a book. Ends up.
Speaker 5: He's right, you just farted.
Speaker 3: Just come on, man, she fought. Yeah, I love you.
Speaker 3: Shout out to my brother.
Speaker 2: Wilson make sure you go get that book on Amazon.
Speaker 2: It's a dope book. He's a dope dude. I love you.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for comment.
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me appreciate it.
Speaker 2: And I'm going on shout out to my brother Harrio.
Speaker 2: You know, I can't wait to read the book.
Speaker 3: Very smart.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 3: Watch.
Speaker 2: I watched him just grow like literally from the sand
Speaker 2: box second and third grade.
Speaker 3: We was in elementary school together, you know. I mean, well, he.
Speaker 2: Went to the Catholic school, but we went We lived
Speaker 2: right down the block from each other, you know, and
Speaker 2: he was actually one of the first people rapping on
Speaker 2: the block when you know, he was the kid that
Speaker 2: was rapping. I got into it later than everybody else,
Speaker 2: and I just, you know, catapulted. So when I first
Speaker 2: got into it, he was like one of the people
Speaker 2: I'm gonna getting old to come with us, you know.
Speaker 2: He was like we was picking our team of artists,
Speaker 2: and he was like one of the people that I
Speaker 2: was like, I'm gonna grab him a couple of other dudes,
Speaker 2: so shout out to him.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he was very smart and he seems very intentional
Speaker 4: about how he lives his life, so that's a good thing.
Speaker 4: It was really, you know, it's refreshing. A lot of
Speaker 4: people like to say, well, where are the black men
Speaker 4: that do X, Y and Z. There's many, you know,
Speaker 4: and they're not all trolls and podcasters who are spewing stupidity.
Speaker 1: There are many.
Speaker 4: More young men and men grown men like HARRYO and
Speaker 4: yourself and others that we respect. So I found his
Speaker 4: interview to be very informing, and I found him to
Speaker 4: have something unique.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's beyond words. It's the art of calculated, calculated communication.
Speaker 2: So you go get that book. And that brings me
Speaker 2: to my I don't get it because this is a
Speaker 2: perfect segue. We're talking about strong, real good men, right,
Speaker 2: And I had I've seen a post the other other
Speaker 2: day from Plies and Plots was like, don't matter how
Speaker 2: much you try, you can't make a fuck nigga real
Speaker 2: in it. It don't matter. It just it ain't gonna work.
Speaker 2: You could do, you could say, you could do whatever
Speaker 2: you want. A fuck nigga's gonna be a fuck nigga.
Speaker 2: Real nigga's gonna be a real nigg and it's gonna
Speaker 2: be it's gonna be a separation between the two.
Speaker 3: So for my I don't get it today. It's in
Speaker 3: the realm of that. Right. There are women who are
Speaker 3: having babies.
Speaker 2: With fuck niggas, right, and some of them and some
Speaker 2: of them is not all fuck niggas, but some of
Speaker 2: them are fuck niggas. They are having babies with men
Speaker 2: who have no intention of taking care of their kids.
Speaker 2: They just don't want the kids, like women are having
Speaker 2: sex with them, people engaging sexual activities. They just wanted
Speaker 2: the sex. And then the women gets pregnant. She goes
Speaker 2: to the man who says, I want nothing to do
Speaker 2: with the baby. I do not get why a woman
Speaker 2: makes a decision to have that baby and then gets
Speaker 2: mad at the nigga that ain't taking care of the baby.
Speaker 2: I just don't for the life of me, right, Because
Speaker 2: if I made a decision, if I come to somebody
Speaker 2: and say hey, I'm doing such and such, are you
Speaker 2: gonna be with me and you say no, I have
Speaker 2: no expectation of you to contribute to anything after you
Speaker 2: tell me no, right, and a fuck nigga right if you,
Speaker 2: Because the average man will say no, I don't want it.
Speaker 2: When the baby gets here, his realness is gonna kick
Speaker 2: in and say, you know what, I'm gonna do what
Speaker 2: I was supposed to because that's my child.
Speaker 3: But when you do that with a fuck nigga, he's
Speaker 3: going to do a fuck nigga. Shit, Oh god, it's
Speaker 3: fuck nigga.
Speaker 2: That's what's gonna happen. So what I'm saying is when
Speaker 2: you are having a baby with a man who has
Speaker 2: no intention of taking care of a baby, I think
Speaker 2: that it's a disservice to the child because what happens
Speaker 2: is there's a child that grows up thinking that they're
Speaker 2: not wanted. Right, that there's a child who now they
Speaker 2: have to know that the father who created them never
Speaker 2: even wanted them. To beat it, they have this the
Speaker 2: issues that they have within themselves, feeling like they're not wanted,
Speaker 2: they're not loved, And if you if you haven't figured
Speaker 2: out a way to compensate that, if you haven't decided,
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm going to have this raised this
Speaker 2: child independent of that man. Right, I'm not even gonna
Speaker 2: let the baby know that the father don't want them.
Speaker 2: For you to have that child and then subject.
Speaker 1: That child and you have to protect the father.
Speaker 3: No, it's not protecting the few.
Speaker 4: When you say I'm not gonna let the baby know.
Speaker 4: I don't know how else can you let a baby know?
Speaker 4: When a baby says to you, what happened to my dad,
Speaker 4: there's no way for you to not let them know.
Speaker 4: Your dad chose not to be involved in your life.
Speaker 4: So when you say, even.
Speaker 1: I would I not say that.
Speaker 4: That's because why should I say?
Speaker 3: Because I think it harms the child.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't matter. The father is a part.
Speaker 4: Of the harm, but the mother should not be carrying
Speaker 4: of all the harm.
Speaker 3: But it's not. The mother is not carrying the burden
Speaker 3: of all the harm.
Speaker 2: Right if I'm trying to protect my child, right, if
Speaker 2: I if me this is me protection of my child.
Speaker 2: Right If somebody comes to me, if my child is
Speaker 2: an artist and they rap, and somebody says, your.
Speaker 3: Child is terrible, the word fucking rap, because I.
Speaker 1: Want you to understand, So let me say it.
Speaker 3: So let me say it first, because the world might understand.
Speaker 3: You might not get it. Let me say it to
Speaker 3: the world can get it.
Speaker 2: If somebody comes with my child sings and they hear
Speaker 2: my child sing and they come to me and say
Speaker 2: your child is terrible, I don't want nothing to do
Speaker 2: with it. He's horrible, and child comes to me and
Speaker 2: asks me, what did they say about me? Singing, I'm
Speaker 2: not telling them that they say you horrible. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: say they just don't worry about that. We're gonna go
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not going to take my child's pride.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to take their self worth.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to diminish their confidence because I want
Speaker 2: to be honest with them, right And that's not me.
Speaker 2: And so when I'm making a comparison, if the father,
Speaker 2: you and the father never had a relationship with anything,
Speaker 2: and the father said I want nothing to do with
Speaker 2: that child, fucked that child. But whatever he says, however harsh,
Speaker 2: whatever he's and he lives that way. If you decide
Speaker 2: to have that child, do you think it benefits you
Speaker 2: to tell the child that the child the father, who
Speaker 2: don't care nothing about them anyway, didn't want nothing to
Speaker 2: do with them, or do you think it hurts the child?
Speaker 3: Who are you?
Speaker 2: Who do you think that you are protecting when you
Speaker 2: if you tell a child, you don't even involve that
Speaker 2: information to the child. You decide to raise the child
Speaker 2: independent and your father passed away whenever I'd rather protect
Speaker 2: my child.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think that that's protecting the child, because
Speaker 4: what happens is later on in life when kids find
Speaker 4: out the truth, they have resentment towards both parents, and
Speaker 4: particularly the parent who lie.
Speaker 1: And so I think.
Speaker 4: That the whole premise of everything that you're saying is
Speaker 4: very troubling because the start of it comes from people
Speaker 4: not having particularly unprotected sex and we've discussed this before,
Speaker 4: or having sex at all. If we know that sex
Speaker 4: leads to babies, and so if we are having sex
Speaker 4: and a man is engaged in that, then he has
Speaker 4: to be responsible for the risk of what he's doing,
Speaker 4: just like the woman has to be responsible for the risk.
Speaker 4: Those risks are not just babies. Those risks are sometimes
Speaker 4: a disease. Those risks can be all types of things
Speaker 4: that can happen when you exchange bodily fluid and intimacy
Speaker 4: with another person. So that's first off, right, But you
Speaker 4: can't control people or make them stay in a situation
Speaker 4: where they don't want to be. So, now when you
Speaker 4: said something that I really take issue with that you
Speaker 4: can't be mad at the person because they don't want
Speaker 4: to have anything to do with the child. Oh no,
Speaker 4: you could be mad at a whole lot of things.
Speaker 4: Just because you understood the chances that they wouldn't want
Speaker 4: to be involved does not mean that you don't have
Speaker 4: the right to feel a way to be upset. So, now,
Speaker 4: when your child is at the age and when their
Speaker 4: child is four years old or five years old and
Speaker 4: they're asking about their dad. No, and by the way,
Speaker 4: I don't think that you can compare this to a
Speaker 4: singing career or art or something of that.
Speaker 1: This is about the other person who is.
Speaker 4: Responsible for them being born for their life. So when
Speaker 4: a person, a child that's three or four or five
Speaker 4: years old, says to you, well, mommy, I see daddy.
Speaker 4: I see this one has a dad and that one
Speaker 4: has a dad. Why don't I have a dad? The
Speaker 4: appropriate thing that I would do is to say, listen, mommy,
Speaker 4: and the people whatever village, we love you very much.
Speaker 4: As you get older, I will explain more to you
Speaker 4: about your dad, But for now, I want you to
Speaker 4: focus on you and me. You know, this family and
Speaker 4: what's trying to probably. But I don't think that you
Speaker 4: should ever lie about the circumstances. Now, when they get
Speaker 4: to be eight or nine and they're really concerned they
Speaker 4: really want to know.
Speaker 1: Tell them the whole story.
Speaker 3: You know what, I don't know. I don't know. I
Speaker 3: don't just damaging my sign.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you something. And when I say tell
Speaker 4: them the whole story, let me finish my point. Okay,
Speaker 4: First of all, these seven or eight year olds are
Speaker 4: not like the seven and eight year olds back then. Okay,
Speaker 4: you have children that are extremely intelligent, and most of
Speaker 4: the people I know, even my granddaughter at two years old,
Speaker 4: I'm like, bro, where did you get how do you
Speaker 4: even know? Like, where do the concepts come that? At two,
Speaker 4: she's sitting there with a plate of food, taking her
Speaker 4: hand and putting it over it to feel whether or
Speaker 4: not it's hot.
Speaker 1: Like, I don't even know where she got that from.
Speaker 4: At two, Usually they'll just go for the food because
Speaker 4: they see it there and they assume it's you know,
Speaker 4: it's good.
Speaker 1: And then then once it's in their mouths.
Speaker 4: We already knows these parents I have is out their minds.
Speaker 4: Let me protect myself by feeling on top of it
Speaker 4: to make sure whether or not it's cool.
Speaker 1: This is a two year old. So by the.
Speaker 4: Time she is seven or eight, I have sat with
Speaker 4: I have friends, we have friends who have seven eight
Speaker 4: nine year old kids that are smarter than some of
Speaker 4: the adults.
Speaker 1: That we know.
Speaker 4: Okay, so let's just be clear. What I said was
Speaker 4: tell him the whole story. So you know what, your
Speaker 4: father and I we got together. We really did not
Speaker 4: have a relationship, We didn't really even.
Speaker 1: Know one another.
Speaker 4: But on a fun day or a fun night, we
Speaker 4: got together and we made you and your father made
Speaker 4: it clear that this is not what he wanted, and
Speaker 4: he left and that's it. That child might be hurt
Speaker 4: and it might be feel like rejection. But I had
Speaker 4: a good friend of our sadip Reental, said that she
Speaker 4: told another young person recently. Life is full of disappointing moments.
Speaker 4: There's things that hurt. There are things that will make
Speaker 4: you feel good, but there's more stuff sometimes that.
Speaker 1: Make you feel defeated.
Speaker 4: Right, and so you need to be able to deal
Speaker 4: with your true circumstances, whatever that is, at the point
Speaker 4: that you can understand and ask the questions that are
Speaker 4: necessary for you for you to just know who you are.
Speaker 2: But there are a lot of but I think when
Speaker 2: you look at a situations like that, there are a
Speaker 2: lot of quote unquote women who have daddy issues based
Speaker 2: on those situations because they've been abandoned.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, but it's more.
Speaker 4: But I promise you, and I don't know the stats
Speaker 4: on this, because you know, we can't speak to what
Speaker 4: we don't know. We've never done in numbers, but I
Speaker 4: bet you that there are more kids that have daddy
Speaker 4: issues from two things. One not understanding, not knowing, and
Speaker 4: not having somebody who's willing to help them work through it,
Speaker 4: so that's therapy, and also being able to speak freely
Speaker 4: about the issue.
Speaker 1: I bet you it's that.
Speaker 4: And then the other one that daddy issues develop from
Speaker 4: is having the type of mother or adult who wants
Speaker 4: to use it as a weapon that when they say
Speaker 4: it to you, they like, well, I don't know your
Speaker 4: daddy didn't want you.
Speaker 1: He just didn't want you. That's not what I'm talking about.
Speaker 4: I am not saying that anybody should use their words,
Speaker 4: use the tongue as a weapon against the father to
Speaker 4: a child. I think that is wrong. I don't ever
Speaker 4: think that it should happen, even with all that Jason
Speaker 4: and I went through, when my child to today and
Speaker 4: I are talking about him and I am telling him
Speaker 4: about stuff that happened that wasn't good, and it's things
Speaker 4: in this book, and I live to tell the story
Speaker 4: that's not good. The one thing I can say to
Speaker 4: you is that I will always lead with you know
Speaker 4: what your father was troubled because of things that happened
Speaker 4: to him in his life. You know the story of
Speaker 4: your grandmother and your grandfather and what they went through,
Speaker 4: blah blah blah blah blah, so that I can at
Speaker 4: least make sure that he understands this context for why
Speaker 4: Jason might have been violent or angry or whatever.
Speaker 1: So I'm not sitting here saying that.
Speaker 4: You should not try to make sure that your kids
Speaker 4: understand a full picture. And just because you know, some
Speaker 4: of these girls would just be like, I don't know
Speaker 4: your daddy won shit. So that's just it that I
Speaker 4: don't think is okay, and I think that does create
Speaker 4: issues with mental health challenges for our youth. But I
Speaker 4: cannot protect you, or the child or anybody else because
Speaker 4: guess what, I, as a woman or she as a woman,
Speaker 4: is a human person too. So the idea that I
Speaker 4: have to.
Speaker 1: Defend you raise you, I'm not talking about.
Speaker 4: I'm not saying you as a father, I'm saying the
Speaker 4: child I have to defend you, raise you, feed you,
Speaker 4: you know, support you do all of these things.
Speaker 1: I'm already doing all of that.
Speaker 4: Unfortunately, I don't believe, or maybe whatever, I don't believe
Speaker 4: that the mother should also have the responsibility when two
Speaker 4: people made a decision to lay down together understanding that
Speaker 4: pro creation is the whole point of sex in the
Speaker 4: first one.
Speaker 3: That's not what everybody understands.
Speaker 1: We need to teach that.
Speaker 2: Okay, But I'm just I'm just, but I'm not. I'm
Speaker 2: not dealing with hypothetical. I'm dealing with reality, because.
Speaker 1: That's the problem, my son.
Speaker 4: The problem is that the hypothetical is what men in
Speaker 4: many situations has made the reality. The reality is that
Speaker 4: sex produces children.
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm just saying.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying it doesn't. So what I'm saying is this,
Speaker 2: The reality is there are fuck boys, there are men
Speaker 2: who are have If they don't have a connection with you,
Speaker 2: they have no connection with a child.
Speaker 3: And if a.
Speaker 2: Woman understands that, conceives a child with a man who
Speaker 2: looks dead in her face and said I want nothing
Speaker 2: to do with you or this child, right, and then
Speaker 2: have the child and then try to still impose that
Speaker 2: on the man that said he wasn't going to do anything.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's not a smart decision. Well, I
Speaker 2: just don't think it's smart, and me personally, I don't
Speaker 2: think it makes sense.
Speaker 4: I would never put my child in the hands of
Speaker 4: a person who has said I don't want them. I
Speaker 4: would never because I'm not going to leave my child
Speaker 4: in a situation with somebody who does not love them
Speaker 4: or look at them as you know, their own and
Speaker 4: something that they want to be.
Speaker 1: A part of.
Speaker 4: But I still do not believe that one I should not,
Speaker 4: as you've already said that. One that it means that
Speaker 4: I should just walk around and not feel a way,
Speaker 4: because yes.
Speaker 1: I supposed to do. I absolutely do.
Speaker 4: And I am not protecting or and shielding you or
Speaker 4: are our child from the truth.
Speaker 1: The truth is the truth.
Speaker 4: And at the point that I believe my child is
Speaker 4: mentally capable, which means that they are smart enough and
Speaker 4: they his answers, I can't say that. I can't say
Speaker 4: that because guess what when these mean ask God, dang on,
Speaker 4: children start saying crazy things to you on you don't
Speaker 4: have no daddy at least this and that the third
Speaker 4: you know what. It might hurt you, but at least
Speaker 4: you won't be going why don't I at least in
Speaker 4: your mind, you could walk away saying you know what,
Speaker 4: I know exactly what happened, and I know that you
Speaker 4: know what. My dad, for whatever point or whatever reason,
Speaker 4: has chosen not to be here.
Speaker 1: Because the worst thing.
Speaker 4: Is to be looking at the door and thinking maybe
Speaker 4: he's gonna come, or looking at situations of thinking, well,
Speaker 4: maybe he'll show up. You know what you need to
Speaker 4: know early on, don't look for him because he ain't
Speaker 4: gonna be here. He does not want to be a
Speaker 4: part of helping to raise you and being a part
Speaker 4: of your life. You need to know that you don't
Speaker 4: need to be thinking about any when I turned nine.
Speaker 2: You've seen situations where women have reached out to fathers
Speaker 2: who've never been there, right and seeing it online, I'm
Speaker 2: saying no, but I'm saying, but those things happen, and
Speaker 2: I think they deal with a lot of trauma.
Speaker 3: When they still get rejected.
Speaker 2: But based so you done told me that's my father,
Speaker 2: I'm reaching out to him. He told me he never
Speaker 2: want none.
Speaker 1: But I don't know if I'm.
Speaker 4: Telling him at not As seven eight nine years old
Speaker 4: exactly who the person is. But there are some kids
Speaker 4: that will next by the time they're twelve, they'll be like, well,
Speaker 4: what is my father's name? At that point, it is
Speaker 4: that child. Listen, let me tell you something. My son
Speaker 4: life is full of freaking disappointment.
Speaker 3: I hear you, but I just my personal So what
Speaker 3: do you.
Speaker 1: Think that what would you tell your child? I don't
Speaker 1: know what I would tell you exactly, and.
Speaker 4: You know why, you know it because because there's nothing
Speaker 4: to say but the truth.
Speaker 3: But I don't know what to tell my child.
Speaker 2: But I know that I would not want a child
Speaker 2: that I have to feel unwanted just and that's why
Speaker 2: it don't matter what if my child was around and
Speaker 2: this was my child, I would have to take care
Speaker 2: of my child because it's no way that I would
Speaker 2: produce a child that I'm not going to take care
Speaker 2: of my child.
Speaker 3: That's just as a man. Sp No, but I hear
Speaker 3: what you're saying, But that's just as a man.
Speaker 2: But there are some there are some men or males
Speaker 2: who don't have that connection. They don't have that sense
Speaker 2: of responsibility. And I'm saying if I just don't understand
Speaker 2: if a woman knows that she's dealing with that level
Speaker 2: of an individual, and she conceives as child. Regardless, how
Speaker 2: do you expect him to change? How do you expect
Speaker 2: to now impose? Okay, he has to be, because that's
Speaker 2: not a reality.
Speaker 4: I am not going to argue with you about what
Speaker 4: you can or cannot do with THEE or whatever, because
Speaker 4: I'm not of the mindset that we're supposed to force
Speaker 4: people to do things that they don't want to do.
Speaker 4: And believe me, there was a time when I was
Speaker 4: probably thirty three, thirty two and below that I did
Speaker 4: believe that, well, I need to force you. But at
Speaker 4: forty four years old, about to be forty five and
Speaker 4: almost you know, and exactly thirty two days, I know
Speaker 4: that the time it spends to force another person to
Speaker 4: be in relationship with or whatever with you is a
Speaker 4: wasted amount of time. And even if you say or
Speaker 4: demand of somebody that they stay, or you believe that
Speaker 4: because you have kids, or you're married, or you're daddy
Speaker 4: or the friend, the best friend, or I did something
Speaker 4: for you and.
Speaker 1: You should be here.
Speaker 4: Even when people stay, they stay with something in them
Speaker 4: that doesn't really want to be there. So that to
Speaker 4: me is I don't ever want that. I don't want
Speaker 4: to force and beg anybody at all, kids or not
Speaker 4: to do or be in my life. So I'm saying
Speaker 4: that I hear you on that. It does not mean
Speaker 4: that I'm not still gonna be angry. It does not
Speaker 4: mean that I'm not gonna still maybe need to get
Speaker 4: some therapy for even a.
Speaker 1: Bad decision that we made.
Speaker 4: I didn't make a bad decision by myself, and nobody
Speaker 4: can sit here and tell me that the way to
Speaker 4: solve this, this this outcome of a bad decision that
Speaker 4: we made, is for me to be the one to
Speaker 4: put my life in danger to go lay on a
Speaker 4: table when I might not wake up. I didn't say that,
Speaker 4: you said that. I'm just saying you said. That's what
Speaker 4: I'm saying. Words are very important in that whole thing
Speaker 4: where you spoke on your I don't get it. You said,
Speaker 4: why would you ever have a baby with somebody that
Speaker 4: you know doesn't want to have anything to do with
Speaker 4: a child. The real question is why would you get
Speaker 4: pregnant by them? Because once the child is in you,
Speaker 4: having a baby is not always an option that.
Speaker 1: You can get out of.
Speaker 4: Once you're pregnant, which now means you having sex with
Speaker 4: a fuck boy because knowing that when we have sex,
Speaker 4: we can have a baby. That is where the problem
Speaker 4: starts from the beginning. It definitely, and I think that
Speaker 4: if we teach that as a reality versus a hypothetical
Speaker 4: that we're having.
Speaker 2: You, if you're having sex with somebody that you don't
Speaker 2: even understand their core values, right, If you just and
Speaker 2: you have an unprotected you you.
Speaker 3: Allowing sex in general, sex in general, and.
Speaker 2: You don't understand their core values and you don't realize
Speaker 2: that this person is a stand up individual that's going
Speaker 2: to take care of his business and has honor and integrity.
Speaker 2: If you are having sex with someone and you don't
Speaker 2: know those things, or if you have sex and you
Speaker 2: did and you said fuck all that, I just want
Speaker 2: to have sex with them, then that that in itself
Speaker 2: is a problem.
Speaker 4: Well it's I mean, no, no, it's a real problem.
Speaker 4: You are one hundred percent right. All I'm simply stating
Speaker 4: is that I'm simply stating that that's not a one
Speaker 4: person or the other. It's also knowing, right, and it's
Speaker 4: when you have mastery of self, which is something that
Speaker 4: we all had to learn and we get better and
Speaker 4: better at it as time goes on, but it's not
Speaker 4: easy for a twenty year old so on and so forth,
Speaker 4: when we have children that were like, damn, you know cool.
Speaker 4: Self mastery means that we have to now learn that
Speaker 4: I don't want to lay down everywhere because I know
Speaker 4: there are consequences that I could get up with. And
Speaker 4: it's not just babies, it's all kinds of things. It's
Speaker 4: also spirit intertwining. Right now. You now, if I slept
Speaker 4: with you last night and then you act crazy towards
Speaker 4: me the next day or never call me back, now,
Speaker 4: that's on my heart that I have given myself to
Speaker 4: somebody who rejected me in some way, right, Like, there's
Speaker 4: a lot of things that happen from the act of sex,
Speaker 4: and we are so so so addicted to the feeling
Speaker 4: of sex as people, as humans that we forget that
Speaker 4: we are leaving a trail of shit behind us with
Speaker 4: each person that we lay down with. And so I'm
Speaker 4: just saying that it's helpful for us to start teaching
Speaker 4: and not starting conversation at if you have a baby
Speaker 4: and then the person doesn't want to be involved, if
Speaker 4: you even have sex with a dude, excuse me, who
Speaker 4: is telling you he ain't even you might not even
Speaker 4: even asked him that. That's the that's the scary part
Speaker 4: to your point about knowing somebody's core values. You got
Speaker 4: to at least ask somebody, Hey, if something happens in
Speaker 4: this situation where we at, and if the dude says
Speaker 4: to you, I ain't trying to have no babies. I
Speaker 4: mean I literally watch a dude on Instagram say, if
Speaker 4: you one of them kind of people that's looking for
Speaker 4: a child and a family and a thing.
Speaker 1: I'm not your guy at all. I don't even want
Speaker 1: to have nothing, nigga.
Speaker 2: Is now when you go have sex with that guy
Speaker 2: and get pregnant, and then you said, yo, you got
Speaker 2: to step up and you need to be a father.
Speaker 2: That's an issue for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's all but you.
Speaker 4: But okay, so I agree with you, but I need
Speaker 4: it to be an issue with you for two. What
Speaker 4: I see and we and you and I argue about
Speaker 4: this all the time. So we're going to just leave
Speaker 4: this alone. And I'm not going to say another word.
Speaker 4: You got the last word show, I don't get a segment.
Speaker 4: What I notice is that men have a lot of
Speaker 4: smoke for women and what women should and should not
Speaker 4: do with our bodies, and how we should conduct ourselves
Speaker 4: when I would love to hear your perspective on why
Speaker 4: a man who knows that he does not want a
Speaker 4: child is even out here slinging and danging around, because
Speaker 4: that in itself is problematic. You now because you didn't
Speaker 4: want something you wanted the feeling. Listen Elliott our brother
Speaker 4: who is the most amazing therapist and mental health expert
Speaker 4: in the world, Elliott Connie. He says something that was
Speaker 4: so powerful about Shannon Sharp that it really it just
Speaker 4: arrested me, like I love that when people make me sick.
Speaker 4: He said that Shannon Sharp had nothing at fifty six
Speaker 4: years old in common with a night ten year old,
Speaker 4: which we've all said.
Speaker 1: He nothing was in common, nothing, nothing, but he.
Speaker 4: Was using her for sex, So you can't be mad
Speaker 4: when she now wants to use you for money and clout.
Speaker 1: Everybody's using each other.
Speaker 4: So what people need to do is and maybe he
Speaker 4: did the thing, so let me be careful about that
Speaker 4: because he might have did the thing that she said
Speaker 4: which makes her feel like she deserves whatever. Fine, I'm
Speaker 4: not sure, we don't know what we gonna find out,
Speaker 4: but nonetheless, still you put yourself in that situation by
Speaker 4: messing with this child in the first But I don't
Speaker 4: care what nobody says, teenager, it's a child at nineteen.
Speaker 1: Okay, So now.
Speaker 4: You I want you to listen to how your mindset
Speaker 4: goes to how a woman should protect herself, because I
Speaker 4: guess you're saying the baby is her baby, so she's
Speaker 4: the one when she verses, she gotta take care of it,
Speaker 4: so you should be more careful. I get that, but
Speaker 4: just imagine what comes back to us and the karma
Speaker 4: that we deal with as a man who has a
Speaker 4: child walking around in the world that does not have
Speaker 4: his father.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure who gets it worse.
Speaker 4: The mother who ends up taking care of the baby
Speaker 4: and doing the things that she needs to do to
Speaker 4: raise a decent at least human or the father who
Speaker 4: was honest that he didn't want it and he ends
Speaker 4: up with a child that he's not taking care of.
Speaker 4: I want to know who is going to have a
Speaker 4: better story when they get to the gates and have
Speaker 4: to have a conversation with their Lord.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, if we talking about the lord, then
Speaker 2: we're not That's what I'm trying to say. It's not
Speaker 2: about right, wrong, good or bad. It's about the common sense.
Speaker 2: And that's all I've always broke it down to. Like
Speaker 2: I'm not saying, it's just like when I said, a
Speaker 2: girl walks down the block and she's naked and somebody
Speaker 2: rapes her, she's not responsible. Nobody should rape her. But
Speaker 2: we still got to understand that they all rapists out
Speaker 2: there that will rape you. And if you walk down
Speaker 2: to the empty, dark block, the probability of somebody raping
Speaker 2: you exists. So why put yourself in a position to
Speaker 2: where even and it's no justification nobody should rape you,
Speaker 2: is what I'm trying to say. So there's no justification
Speaker 2: a man should take care of his children. But if
Speaker 2: you are aware that you're dealing with a man.
Speaker 1: That ain't, and.
Speaker 2: You're still holding them to this criteria, it's like, I
Speaker 2: don't understand that.
Speaker 3: I just don't. I don't, and I don't think it
Speaker 3: benefits the child.
Speaker 2: I think that it's something that you that the mother
Speaker 2: has personally made a decision, that you made a decision
Speaker 2: that regardless of how it affects you or this child,
Speaker 2: that this is how you're going to go about it,
Speaker 2: and and when you're dealing with somebody on the other
Speaker 2: side that don't give a fuck at all, like how
Speaker 2: does it benefit you?
Speaker 4: I don't think it benefits anybody. But I just tell
Speaker 4: you one thing I.
Speaker 2: Am learning, and also I was saying, is this, if
Speaker 2: a woman you don't many men have made babies that
Speaker 2: they don't know nothing about, or a woman decided and
Speaker 2: they wanted a child, and women wouldn't decided I'm not
Speaker 2: having no baby. Never said nothing to them or probably
Speaker 2: told them I'm not having a baby. Men deal with
Speaker 2: the same shit all the time. We've had to. We've
Speaker 2: had to deal with situations where women terminated prayer. I
Speaker 2: know a nigga that begged the woman to have his
Speaker 2: baby should know beg. The beg went to went to
Speaker 2: the thing with a please please, and she can't. So
Speaker 2: these things happen all the time.
Speaker 4: You know that I talk a lot, So I said
Speaker 4: that I wasn't gonna say anything else, but I'll tell
Speaker 4: you what I do need to say. It really just
Speaker 4: amplifies the idea that God made us to need one
Speaker 4: another like we have to have. It's no way for
Speaker 4: us to do what you're talking about without both of
Speaker 4: us being involved in this decision. So it's a lot
Speaker 4: of us as women who say we don't need men.
Speaker 4: It's a lot of men walking around here like, oh,
Speaker 4: these chicks, I don't care. I saw of the man
Speaker 4: and they said they're making better dolls for sex. Then
Speaker 4: the feeling that he has from the women that he's
Speaker 4: been with, I think that's.
Speaker 1: Crazy as hell. But nonetheless that's what he said.
Speaker 3: But Rose walking around with the roads, I don't.
Speaker 2: First of all, I don't have a role, I said
Speaker 2: walking around, But I don't know you walking around.
Speaker 1: Mind.
Speaker 4: If you ask me questions, I'll.
Speaker 1: Bracking out. I'm telling you, but I ain't worked the roads.
Speaker 4: So but anyway, I'm just saying I would never sit
Speaker 4: here and say that any sex toy that I have
Speaker 4: ever had in my life was better than Okay, I
Speaker 4: guess it is. I'm saying I don't okay, So all
Speaker 4: I'm I'm just I'm just saying to you that from
Speaker 4: God's perspective, you don'e got me.
Speaker 1: This show has put me in my spiritual bag. Okay.
Speaker 4: Started with Harrio. From God's perspective, there is no way,
Speaker 4: no way at all for us to fulfill what it
Speaker 4: is that we are supposed to be doing, which is
Speaker 4: to bring forth life and bring forth fruitful life without
Speaker 4: one another. So we ought to try to find a
Speaker 4: way to get past some of this he and she
Speaker 4: and what you did and what I did, and what
Speaker 4: this and that, and just know that we better figure
Speaker 4: it out and we should stop taking advantage of or
Speaker 4: not being conscious of what it is that we're doing
Speaker 4: with our bodies.
Speaker 1: So that's it, and I mean our with us too,
Speaker 1: And believe me.
Speaker 4: I will continue to tell women, I don't even know
Speaker 4: why you slept with Bruh, because you know, Brauh ain't nothing.
Speaker 1: I told you that when I met him. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But y'all need to be telling men,
Speaker 1: Bruh stop laying down with these women. And you know
Speaker 1: you don't want to take care of your kids because
Speaker 1: you could do a lot of things in life.
Speaker 4: You could sell some dough, You might be able to
Speaker 4: even hurt somebody, right, And I don't agree with any
Speaker 4: of that. I'm just saying you could do a lot
Speaker 4: of things, but not taking care of your children. That
Speaker 4: is something that you will never ever be able to
Speaker 4: live down.
Speaker 3: What I'm saying, and I believe you agree. But there's
Speaker 3: some men who don't give up.
Speaker 4: Well, they will when they look up and figure out
Speaker 4: that the rest of their whole life trouble with.
Speaker 3: It's men who haven't took kid a child, and their
Speaker 3: life is perfect.
Speaker 1: Thinks you just don't know based.
Speaker 3: On the success and everything they live success what.
Speaker 4: You told me earlier. Success don't equal everything does sometimes,
Speaker 4: But I'm trying to successful sick. You could be successful
Speaker 4: mentally ill, you could be successful lonely.
Speaker 1: You could be successful stupid.
Speaker 4: It's people's true in their mind, in their mind. But
Speaker 4: but the some of the bad people think they're winning
Speaker 4: and they don't because guess.
Speaker 1: What, It's true.
Speaker 4: There are bad people who win, don't We see that
Speaker 4: People die go to their grave with stuff that you
Speaker 4: know they did, or people they harmed or whatever, and
Speaker 4: they never really it never really appears that they paid
Speaker 4: for it. But at the end of the day, what
Speaker 4: we know is that sometimes you could just take shit
Speaker 4: a little bit too far, Like you need to be
Speaker 4: humble enough to know I made a mistake, I've done
Speaker 4: wrong and I might not be able to fix that,
Speaker 4: but I can live everywhere in my life crazy and
Speaker 4: not taking care of your kids.
Speaker 1: That's a rough one. I don't believe in that.
Speaker 3: But anyway, thank you, good conversation, y'all. Give us your
Speaker 3: feedback on this.
Speaker 2: I know this is gonna be one of those controversial topics,
Speaker 2: and that's why I wanted to talk about it because
Speaker 2: I've been seeing it going on. You know, they had
Speaker 2: this situation with Anthony Edwards and his baby mother and
Speaker 2: there's been a lot of back and forth above that.
Speaker 2: So I just was giving a perspective with the mother
Speaker 2: of his child. But that was that, and that brings
Speaker 2: us to the end of another episode of TMI. Make
Speaker 2: sure you follow us on Instagram TMI undersc Underscore Show.
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Speaker 2: love y'all. We're gonna get tinue being the number one
Speaker 2: show in the world. I'm not gonna always be right
Speaker 2: to Mek. It's not gonna always be wrong, but we
Speaker 2: will both always and I mean always be authentic.
Speaker 1: That's how we owned