1
00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,640
Speaker 1: Today's election day. Please go vote and go to vote

2
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,160
Speaker 1: dot org to get your voting polling place. We hope

3
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,240
Speaker 1: you know this by now, though this is today today,

4
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,399
Speaker 1: you should already know this, but you can still go

5
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:15,120
Speaker 1: to vote dot org. Okay, please do that and please

6
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,759
Speaker 1: go vote today. Time now as we switch gears for

7
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,800
Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex,

8
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,600
Speaker 1: parenting and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve

9
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:30,720
Speaker 1: HARVEYFM dot com and please click submit Strawberry Letter. We

10
00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,560
Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live, just like we're gonna

11
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,680
Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Buggalu. But hold

12
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,599
Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you here. It is

13
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:45,479
Speaker 1: subject the Pastor's son isn't very holy? Just Stephen Shirley.

14
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,640
Speaker 1: My life is a mess, and it all started a

15
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,040
Speaker 1: year ago when I moved in with my aunt to

16
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,800
Speaker 1: help her after she broke her leg. I was running

17
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,720
Speaker 1: errands for her one day and I met a man

18
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,880
Speaker 1: at the grocery store and we started talking and he

19
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,920
Speaker 1: was flirting up a store, so I gave him my

20
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,280
Speaker 1: phone number. We started off talking a lot, and it

21
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,800
Speaker 1: helped me get through the rough days as a caretaker.

22
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,360
Speaker 1: For my aunt. We quickly went from being casual friends

23
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,720
Speaker 1: to meeting up for sex. He was mysterious because he

24
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,720
Speaker 1: lived in an apartment without a lot of furniture, and

25
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,880
Speaker 1: he never had any food. He works as a counselor,

26
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,800
Speaker 1: but I didn't know where he worked. I was falling

27
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,720
Speaker 1: for this guy, but I couldn't tell him because I

28
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:29,000
Speaker 1: didn't want to mess things up. He was perfect in

29
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,399
Speaker 1: every way except he had three children, but I was

30
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,960
Speaker 1: willing to overlook that if we became a couple. So

31
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:40,039
Speaker 1: here's where things got ugly. My aunt's church reopened, so

32
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,800
Speaker 1: I told her i'd take her. She has a new

33
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,360
Speaker 1: pastor and wanted to meet him. After church, we met

34
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,760
Speaker 1: the pastor and his wife, and the pastor told me

35
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,320
Speaker 1: he has a son about my age an emotion for

36
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,920
Speaker 1: him to come over. His son is a guy I've

37
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:58,120
Speaker 1: been sleeping with. He walked over with his wife and

38
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,200
Speaker 1: all of his three kids and introduced himself like he

39
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,720
Speaker 1: didn't know me, even though we were in mass He

40
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,359
Speaker 1: knew me and I knew him. My aunt could tell

41
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,920
Speaker 1: something was wrong with me, and when we walked off,

42
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,400
Speaker 1: I told her. She called the church and told the

43
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,240
Speaker 1: pastor what his son was up to and the pastor said,

44
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:21,919
Speaker 1: I enticed his son into an entanglement. Now my aunt

45
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:26,639
Speaker 1: has to find a new church because she cursed pastor out.

46
00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:31,000
Speaker 1: Wiremen wire men so evil? How are women supposed to

47
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:36,040
Speaker 1: know when we're getting played? Please advise? Mmmmmm? Why are

48
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,200
Speaker 1: men so evil? Let's just start there, Okay, let's just

49
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,839
Speaker 1: start there. First. Of all, men aren't evil. All men

50
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:49,200
Speaker 1: aren't evil all, thank you, Shirley. But a lot of men,

51
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,200
Speaker 1: you're welcome. But a lot of men will lie and

52
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,239
Speaker 1: will cheat to get what they want. Okay, not all,

53
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,919
Speaker 1: but a lot of them. And that's what this married

54
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,320
Speaker 1: that was her question. Yeah, and that was this. That's

55
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,960
Speaker 1: what this married man did to you. Okay, he lied

56
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,000
Speaker 1: and cheated to get you. That's what he did. We

57
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,720
Speaker 1: as women, we say this all the time in the show.

58
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,280
Speaker 1: We have to pay attention to the signs. That is

59
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,480
Speaker 1: our job. It's time out for us not noticing these

60
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,600
Speaker 1: blaring red flags. You go to his house. There's never

61
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:22,440
Speaker 1: any food, not a lot of furniture, he has three kids.

62
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,840
Speaker 1: He's all mysterious. You say, miss, what is he being

63
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,840
Speaker 1: so mysterious about? You know? That's when you should have

64
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,200
Speaker 1: been asking some really probing questions. You know how to

65
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,920
Speaker 1: do that. You know, where's the kid's mom? What kind

66
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,720
Speaker 1: of relationship do you have with the kid do you

67
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,680
Speaker 1: have with the kid's mom? Why don't you have a

68
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,120
Speaker 1: sofa in here? Do you have any Why don't you

69
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:48,200
Speaker 1: have any towels and stuff in the bathroom? You're a

70
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,680
Speaker 1: counselor you say, what type of counseling you know? These

71
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,119
Speaker 1: are the kinds of questions that you have to ask him.

72
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,280
Speaker 1: I know your tuition had to kick in at some point,

73
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,000
Speaker 1: but it was too late by then because you were

74
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,920
Speaker 1: already emotionally invested in him, and like you said, you

75
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,680
Speaker 1: didn't want to mess things up because you know if

76
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,440
Speaker 1: you guys, we were trying to be a couple, That's

77
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,600
Speaker 1: what you said. And those are the ways you get

78
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,560
Speaker 1: played because you don't. You ignore that your gut, what

79
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,320
Speaker 1: your gut is telling you. You ignore those red flags,

80
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:21,080
Speaker 1: You ignore your your tuition. And I'm sorry this happened

81
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,320
Speaker 1: to you, but you gotta let this be a lesson

82
00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:26,960
Speaker 1: that you know you won't take into your next relationship.

83
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,719
Speaker 1: The signs are always there, we just gotta see them.

84
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,039
Speaker 1: As far as finding a new church for your aunt,

85
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,240
Speaker 1: because she cursed out the pastor, and may I say

86
00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:38,560
Speaker 1: that was very unpastored like him of him to say

87
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,640
Speaker 1: that about you, that you enticed his sons. Uh. You know,

88
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,200
Speaker 1: if she wants to stay there, stay there, all right,

89
00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:47,800
Speaker 1: Just stay there and look him dead in his eye

90
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,320
Speaker 1: every Sunday. Just you don't have to. But if she

91
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,240
Speaker 1: wants to find a new church, it's okay, it's all right.

92
00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:57,120
Speaker 1: But you just concentrate on you and what you need

93
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,680
Speaker 1: to do, and that's listen to your gut from here

94
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:03,080
Speaker 1: on out. Steve, Well, let me start at the bottom

95
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:08,320
Speaker 1: of the letter. The question is, how are women supposed

96
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:15,000
Speaker 1: to know when we're getting played? Please advise? Well, Shirley

97
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,080
Speaker 1: said it to you, and she put it to you

98
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:21,560
Speaker 1: in a very smart way. There are red flags all

99
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:25,800
Speaker 1: through this letter, everywhere you wrote. A woman was on

100
00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,280
Speaker 1: my show one time and said, women have got to

101
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:34,040
Speaker 1: stop collecting red flags. Leave them stuck in the ground,

102
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,760
Speaker 1: quit taking them home, hugging them like they fit to be.

103
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:43,160
Speaker 1: White flags are green flags. They read flags. You met

104
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,640
Speaker 1: a man at the grocery store, he was floating up

105
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,919
Speaker 1: a storm. You gave him your phone number. This I

106
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:53,760
Speaker 1: already know, y'all kind of old because they don't do

107
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,760
Speaker 1: that no more. They give each other they I G.

108
00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:01,120
Speaker 1: Yeah that I learned that. You get the sale number

109
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,719
Speaker 1: here on my I G. You can DM me and

110
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,800
Speaker 1: you can find out how I want you to see

111
00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:09,640
Speaker 1: me on my highlight reel call Instagram. That's the way.

112
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:14,360
Speaker 1: So y'all, you know, thirties, low forties or something, you know, bam,

113
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 1: something like that. Okay, cool, Okay, now here you go.

114
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:23,920
Speaker 1: That was a red flag right there, dude. So y'all

115
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,120
Speaker 1: have started talking a lot, and he was helping you

116
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,680
Speaker 1: through the rough days of being a caretaker. You ain't

117
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:34,599
Speaker 1: really a caretaker. Your aunt broke her leg. We quickly

118
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,640
Speaker 1: went from being casual friends to meeting up for sex.

119
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:43,120
Speaker 1: What kind of quick? Yeah? All right, Steve, coming up,

120
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,600
Speaker 1: we'll have part two of your response at twenty three

121
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,800
Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. Subject for today's Strawberry Letter, the

122
00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:51,240
Speaker 1: pastor's sun isn't very holy. We'll get back into it

123
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:56,279
Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening show, all right, come on,

124
00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:00,559
Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject the past your son

125
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:06,799
Speaker 1: isn't very holy, Steve, Well, he's not. But your question

126
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,240
Speaker 1: is how women supposed to know when we're getting played.

127
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,400
Speaker 1: It's very simple. Pay attention. Shirley said it best in

128
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:20,280
Speaker 1: her response, you just weren't paying attention. Now, let's talk

129
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:24,760
Speaker 1: about this. First of all, you went too quick. We

130
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:29,640
Speaker 1: quickly went from being casual friends to meeting up for sex. Okay,

131
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:35,120
Speaker 1: meeting up for sex not already in the relationship. Ain't

132
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,440
Speaker 1: off to the best of starts. Now, if that's all

133
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 1: you wanted, then fine. But doesn't seem like that. He

134
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:48,320
Speaker 1: was mysterious. Now you meeting up. He was mysterious. So

135
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:52,960
Speaker 1: you're meeting up for sex with a mysterious right now.

136
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,000
Speaker 1: You don't know nothing about it. He mysterious, but y'all

137
00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,920
Speaker 1: meeting up for sex. And he lived in an apartment

138
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,080
Speaker 1: without a lot of furniture, and he never had any food.

139
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,960
Speaker 1: He works as a counselor, but I didn't know where

140
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,400
Speaker 1: it worked. And you was falling for this guy, but

141
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,280
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell because I didn't want to mess things up.

142
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,120
Speaker 1: He was perfect in every way except he had three children. Now,

143
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,280
Speaker 1: let's just take this whole block that I just read.

144
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 1: If a man has three children and he's divorced or separated,

145
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,840
Speaker 1: you don't know because he was mysterious. When they come

146
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:35,360
Speaker 1: over for visitation? Where did they stay? He ain't got

147
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:41,800
Speaker 1: no furniture, Ain't no damn beds in there, ain't no

148
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,920
Speaker 1: food in friederal, ain't no cereal in? Now? What the

149
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,480
Speaker 1: hell is these kids eating? And where did they stay

150
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,959
Speaker 1: when they come over the mysterious Man's apartment And ain't

151
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,240
Speaker 1: got a lot of furniture? You got three kids, you

152
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,199
Speaker 1: got to have some being bad as a sign. Gotta

153
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:07,560
Speaker 1: have miss cozy kitchen set for the little girl something

154
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,480
Speaker 1: he ain't got nothing? Didn't he tell you he works

155
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:17,040
Speaker 1: as a counselor What that means? Yes? That was mysterious, right,

156
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:23,679
Speaker 1: I'm a counselor. What kind of counselor? H school? Like? Yeah? Yeah,

157
00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:28,240
Speaker 1: a school counselor? Was schooled my kids school? Right? It's like,

158
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,520
Speaker 1: but I didn't know where he worked. Where you work

159
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:36,400
Speaker 1: all down at the counselor in office. I was falling

160
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,480
Speaker 1: for this guy, but I couldn't tell him because I

161
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,520
Speaker 1: didn't want to mess things up. Wait a minute, mess up?

162
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:46,360
Speaker 1: What you're having sex with the mysterious man in an

163
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:51,400
Speaker 1: empty ass, vacant a project with no furniture in it.

164
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,400
Speaker 1: It might it might he might have just made a

165
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:59,560
Speaker 1: key to a band and a partner, and you want

166
00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:05,240
Speaker 1: to you don't want to mess that up, But I

167
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,480
Speaker 1: was willing to overlook that if we became a couple.

168
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,560
Speaker 1: See this is oh man, I can't tell you how

169
00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,439
Speaker 1: many times you're talking about becoming a couple, something that

170
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:19,160
Speaker 1: you want. But you've already given away the greatest benefit

171
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,720
Speaker 1: of being a couple. You've already given the man all

172
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,079
Speaker 1: the sex he wants, because all y'all do is meet

173
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,240
Speaker 1: up for sex. Now, why he got to be a

174
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,480
Speaker 1: couple with you? He getting the sex? Well, why we

175
00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:33,880
Speaker 1: got to be a couple? Now? I got you at

176
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 1: this abandoned apartment is the old crack house, and we

177
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:42,719
Speaker 1: were here screwing it. Yeah, it's the same furniture that

178
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:50,080
Speaker 1: the crackheadshes when they aren't there getting high. Yeah, you

179
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,559
Speaker 1: can't go to the bathroom enough toilitition. Don't go in that.

180
00:10:53,720 --> 00:11:00,320
Speaker 1: Don't flesh that. Oh no, So now this where things

181
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,600
Speaker 1: got ugly, Like it ain't bad enough being that in

182
00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:06,160
Speaker 1: a pandi ass department, you having sex with this missterious man.

183
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,240
Speaker 1: Yon's church reopening. You took her after church, you met

184
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,719
Speaker 1: the pastor and his wife, and the pastor told me

185
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,360
Speaker 1: he had a son about your age, and emotioned for

186
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,040
Speaker 1: him to come over. His son is the guy that

187
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,520
Speaker 1: you've been sleeping with. He walked over with his wife

188
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,880
Speaker 1: and all three of his kids and introduced himself like

189
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,000
Speaker 1: he didn't know me. What you supposed to? What you

190
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,120
Speaker 1: thought he was supposed to do? Ah? You the girl

191
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:36,480
Speaker 1: from the crack house? Ah was something the kids? I

192
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,080
Speaker 1: told your head here the is right here. Oh, and

193
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,000
Speaker 1: I failed to mention my wife. You thought he's gonna

194
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,959
Speaker 1: say that. Now he acts like he know me even

195
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,160
Speaker 1: though we were in mask. He knew me and I

196
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,560
Speaker 1: knew him. Now your aunt could tell something's wrong. And

197
00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,320
Speaker 1: when y'all walked off, you told her. Now y'r aunt

198
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,480
Speaker 1: and called up to the church and told the pastor

199
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,800
Speaker 1: but what his son was up to? And the pastor said,

200
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:05,400
Speaker 1: I enticed him into an entanglement? Is this a new word? Entanglement?

201
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,000
Speaker 1: I heard that a couple of times this year. I

202
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:15,720
Speaker 1: don't understand what is entanglement. It's British entanglement. These used

203
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:21,240
Speaker 1: to be a fast but they called entanglements now. So

204
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,440
Speaker 1: now my aunt got to find a new church because

205
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:28,160
Speaker 1: she didn't custom passed out while our man, so evil evil.

206
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,280
Speaker 1: He gonna protect his son. I don't care if he

207
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:33,520
Speaker 1: is to pass. If my son did this, you entangle him.

208
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,400
Speaker 1: He's got a wife and a lovely family. I hate

209
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,679
Speaker 1: to see that broken up. He don't want his grandkids

210
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:40,319
Speaker 1: splitting up. The pastor tried to protect his son. He

211
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,640
Speaker 1: gonna do that. This is your responsibility to take matters

212
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:48,480
Speaker 1: into your own hands, to protect yourself. Now, I apologize

213
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,120
Speaker 1: for me and being lies and dogs. He did tell

214
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,240
Speaker 1: you partial truth. He told you he had three kids.

215
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,800
Speaker 1: He just didn't tell you that he had a wife.

216
00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,000
Speaker 1: And he had found the keys to an old, abandoned crackhouse.

217
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,719
Speaker 1: Said he had put a piece of front of hip

218
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:05,719
Speaker 1: there and using it as a chick pad. Now I'm sorry.

219
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,600
Speaker 1: Thank you. Steve Poster comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at

220
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,240
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the

221
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,040
Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming up at forty six

222
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,520
Speaker 1: minutes after Junior special election day poem. Right after this,

223
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,880
Speaker 1: you're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning Show