Speaker 1: No one has all the answers, but when we ask
Speaker 1: the right questions, we get a little closer, closer to truths,
Speaker 1: closer to each other, even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist
Speaker 1: Danielle Robe, and each week, my guests and I come
Speaker 1: together to challenge the status quo and our own ways
Speaker 1: of thinking by daring to ask what if, why not?
Speaker 1: And who says?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: Come curious, dig deep, and join the conversation. It's time
Speaker 1: to question everything. Hello, my friends, I hope you're having
Speaker 1: a really great week. I can't believe that we're like
Speaker 1: in mid November already. I'm starting to think about the
Speaker 1: new year and my New year planning. And last year
Speaker 1: I did a big New Year's New kind of reset
Speaker 1: episode in how to Goal Plan, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: do that again this year. I'm already kind of planning
Speaker 1: it out and I'm definitely going to download that form
Speaker 1: again so that we can plan together, So look out
Speaker 1: for that. And also, I'm going to be talking with
Speaker 1: you guys on Zoom through the holidays, so as always,
Speaker 1: if you want to send a screenshot of you sharing
Speaker 1: the episode with two friends or writing a review, you're
Speaker 1: entered to win the raffle to zoom with me. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get into today's episode. So if Martha Stewart and
Speaker 1: Nancy Myers had a baby with Wi Fi, it would
Speaker 1: be Kenzie Elizabeth. Let me start from the beginning. Kenzie
Speaker 1: launched her YouTube channel at sixteen years old. She turned
Speaker 1: her life into a business before she could legally drink,
Speaker 1: and now, after a decade online, she's built an entire
Speaker 1: ecosystem around being herself, hosting parties, needle pointing, creating, connecting.
Speaker 1: She's the host of the House Guest podcast, the founder
Speaker 1: of Friend of Mine, and somehow manages to make domestic
Speaker 1: life look aspirational and real. She's the girl who will
Speaker 1: needle point with Grandma's on Thursday, throw a Nancy Meyer's
Speaker 1: themed dinner party on Friday, and then ship product orders
Speaker 1: by herself on Saturday. Kenzie and I are friends. We
Speaker 1: met through the podcasting world years ago, and one of
Speaker 1: the things I've always loved about her, aside from the
Speaker 1: obvious you know she's warm and funny and so easy
Speaker 1: to connect with, is that Kensie goes for it. Check
Speaker 1: her TikTok or her YouTube out and you'll see what
Speaker 1: I mean. Buy a house at twenty four, she'll figure
Speaker 1: it out. Move states because she needs a change done easy.
Speaker 1: If the house needs painting, she's rolling up her sleeves,
Speaker 1: and if there's a power tool involved, she's already googled
Speaker 1: how to use it. She's decisive and scrappy and basically
Speaker 1: allergic to waiting for permission. Here's a funny example. For years,
Speaker 1: she wasn't interested in dating. We would always talk about it.
Speaker 1: She was like, not interested, don't want to do it,
Speaker 1: and then recently she decided to do a twelve date
Speaker 1: challenge for YouTube. Okay, and by date number four she
Speaker 1: had a boyfriend. Kenzi is just a doer, and I
Speaker 1: like to think of myself as a doer too, But
Speaker 1: I don't know about you. Sometimes I feel stuck in things.
Speaker 1: I'll analyze or future cast or make pros and cons lists,
Speaker 1: and then I kind of hear that phrase in my
Speaker 1: head and I guess I say it to myself, which is,
Speaker 1: you're not a tree. Move Danielle. And that's what I
Speaker 1: so admire about Kenzie. She doesn't over philosophize change. She
Speaker 1: just moves, and she trusts herself enough to take the
Speaker 1: step before she's sure it's perfect. She is undeniably a
Speaker 1: product of this post everything, hustle, hard DIY internet moment,
Speaker 1: and she conveys that quality that I think we're all
Speaker 1: chasing online realness. So today is a pretty casual conversation.
Speaker 1: We cover the gamut, how she learned to trust her
Speaker 1: gut over everyone else's advice, how the grief of her
Speaker 1: brother dying reshaped her friendships, and why she believes in
Speaker 1: faith but not perfection. So the question we're circling today
Speaker 1: is whose voice is running your life? Yours or everyone else's.
Speaker 1: It's time to question everything with Kenzie Elizabeth. Some describe
Speaker 1: you as a walking Pinterest board. What is one quote,
Speaker 1: to outfit or aesthetic that you are living by this season?
Speaker 3: I would say I love even though I don't fully
Speaker 3: live this, but I love the slow like country living.
Speaker 3: Life just feels so good. Country core life, Yes, country core.
Speaker 1: What do you think surprises people when they meet you
Speaker 1: in person?
Speaker 2: I think that I'm literally the exact same.
Speaker 3: Either that or I feel like everyone would assume that
Speaker 3: I'm very high maintenance and I'm actually not. Like I
Speaker 3: grew up with eight siblings, so you don't really have
Speaker 3: that liberty. But I would say either that I'm literally
Speaker 3: the exact same, or that I'm actually not high maintenance.
Speaker 1: I think you are the exact same.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I talk the same. When I'm like vlogging on YouTube,
Speaker 3: I feel i'm face haiming a friend.
Speaker 2: If anything. I think I might be funnier in person
Speaker 2: because you have something to react to. You're very funny. Yes,
Speaker 2: thank you so much, but like people do not know
Speaker 2: that on YouTube.
Speaker 1: What's something that you believed about yourself at twenty that
Speaker 1: you've let go of?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean so much. At twenty.
Speaker 3: I was way more likely to listen to what other
Speaker 3: people were telling me I needed to do then listen
Speaker 3: to myself.
Speaker 2: And I think that's great. I personally love advice.
Speaker 3: From people that I want to be more like. But
Speaker 3: I was relying far too heavily on people's opinions that
Speaker 3: I admired. So I think maybe it's like didn't really
Speaker 3: trust myself or I didn't think that I was going
Speaker 3: to make good decisions on my own. Yeah, and I
Speaker 3: would actually go back and probably change majority of those. Like,
Speaker 3: there's people that I dated that I would have never
Speaker 3: dated in my right mind. There's choices that I made
Speaker 3: career wise. I would put things on hold to like
Speaker 3: serve their vision more. So I don't regret most of that,
Speaker 3: but I think that I would go back and I
Speaker 3: would do it differently.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: For sure, you shared your life in your twenties so openly.
Speaker 1: Does privacy look different.
Speaker 4: To you now?
Speaker 3: There's things in my life that feel like more sacred
Speaker 3: that I don't share, that are just more like emotional. Yeah,
Speaker 3: privacy is different when I was younger, especially in college,
Speaker 3: Like when you're logging every day, you're with your friends
Speaker 3: all the time, so there was always so many different people,
Speaker 3: and I think that, like, my relationships are a lot
Speaker 3: more private now.
Speaker 1: One of the things I've noticed about you can see
Speaker 1: is like you have never, at a young age, never
Speaker 1: been afraid to make big decisions, like you move states,
Speaker 1: you bought a house, you bought a car, like things
Speaker 1: that people get nervous about in their thirties, forties and fifties,
Speaker 1: and you just push forward. What is that?
Speaker 2: That's actually my favorite quality about myself.
Speaker 3: Like there's a lot of things I don't like, but
Speaker 3: I'm very decisive and it's gotten me in a lot
Speaker 3: of trouble and I haven't always been your right decisions,
Speaker 3: But I'm like whatever, the opposite of all talk is.
Speaker 2: That's me.
Speaker 3: Like if I was second, I am all walk. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I just have like a gut feeling.
Speaker 2: I follow it.
Speaker 3: I always say like I am Hawaian because I had
Speaker 3: a dad who like really thought I could be president.
Speaker 3: Like my dad just believes me so much. So I
Speaker 3: think that I had the safety of that relationship and
Speaker 3: someone always backing me. That definitely made it a lot easier.
Speaker 3: I don't think I would have been like that if
Speaker 3: it were for that relationship.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm very critical of your decisions.
Speaker 3: Ever, he's not critical, but he's the first person to
Speaker 3: tell me I'm wrong. Like he's not the dad that's
Speaker 3: like my perfect angel daughter who's never done anything wrong
Speaker 3: in her life. I'm literally my dad, Like we're so similar.
Speaker 3: So I think a lot of the decisions that I
Speaker 3: make like he gets it. So he's not necessarily critical.
Speaker 3: He's very supportive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's definitely things that I've done that he hasn't loved,
Speaker 2: but he just kind of lets me live.
Speaker 1: That's you be you. Is there any advice that you
Speaker 1: would give to your younger self who is just starting out, Like,
Speaker 1: is there anything you wish you could tell her.
Speaker 3: I started when I was sixteen, Like I was so young,
Speaker 3: I would say, you don't want to appeal to everyone.
Speaker 2: I was really focused.
Speaker 3: On being very broad and appealing to like a mass audience.
Speaker 3: And I wish I would have gone a little bit
Speaker 3: more like niche and specific, because what I didn't realize
Speaker 3: is that I wasn't connecting with people as much as
Speaker 3: I could be because I was trying to make everything
Speaker 3: so broad to where it appealed to, like the masses,
Speaker 3: but really.
Speaker 2: Like trying to find your crowd. And I think that
Speaker 2: helped me back.
Speaker 1: Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing the identity that
Speaker 1: you've created, and if so, how do you deal with that?
Speaker 3: No, because it grows with me, Like my whole platform
Speaker 3: is me, which I do kind of hate a lot,
Speaker 3: like I get so tired of myself, But because it's me,
Speaker 3: I feel like it's.
Speaker 2: Just always evolving with me.
Speaker 3: I do sometimes think like have I lost to so
Speaker 3: much my audience in becoming like a grandma? Like I
Speaker 3: was so crazy and fun before, you know, I don't
Speaker 3: ever feel like I've outgrown it because it's always growing
Speaker 3: with me, Like simultaneously.
Speaker 1: Have you lost your audience or I feel like you've
Speaker 1: gained audience since being a grandma.
Speaker 3: I don't know, Like there could have been all these
Speaker 3: people who stopped, and there could have been all these
Speaker 3: new people and then it just evened out.
Speaker 2: But I don't think so. I think people like, even if.
Speaker 3: They don't relate to the whole grandma thing, I think
Speaker 3: they can get down with it for a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. Hopefully does any part of
Speaker 1: you ever want to get offline?
Speaker 2: No, I really love it.
Speaker 3: I always hear people who are like, I want to
Speaker 3: make a lot of money, and then like you'll never
Speaker 3: hear from me again, Like, I truly love it, Like
Speaker 3: you could make billions and you'll be I would still
Speaker 3: want to do it. Like I love making videos, I
Speaker 3: love podcasts.
Speaker 2: I really love it. I would still be doing it.
Speaker 2: It's really amazing I was doing when I was making
Speaker 2: no money.
Speaker 1: You know, is there a lesson about monetizing your life
Speaker 1: that no one prepared you for?
Speaker 3: No. I have found a way to monetize every single
Speaker 3: thing in my life.
Speaker 2: I love hobbies and that's my whole thing. But I've
Speaker 2: monetized all my hobbies.
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Give me specifics, like you get
Speaker 1: paid to needle point.
Speaker 3: Needle Point is one. We now sell a needle Point canvases.
Speaker 3: We're like launching under a big needle point company. Hosting
Speaker 3: dinner parties. I love cooking. I start a home brand
Speaker 3: that's doing all of that. Reading, I have a book
Speaker 3: club with the podcast Gardening. Will do stuff with that,
Speaker 3: and even when it's a hobby, it's like I'm sharing it.
Speaker 3: I feel like when I had less hobbies, it was
Speaker 3: harder for me because I was like, Okay, everything feels
Speaker 3: like a little bit of work, but I just have
Speaker 3: so many hobbies and like, I love what I do
Speaker 3: and it just is all kind of come together. In
Speaker 3: my earlier twenties, though, the reason I got so into
Speaker 3: hobbies was because I didn't really have anything outside of
Speaker 3: like work and going out. So I wanted to have
Speaker 3: something to my life that I found interesting.
Speaker 2: The coolest part about hobbies or the people that you
Speaker 2: connect with. That's why people don't tell you about hobbies.
Speaker 3: Is that I have so many people in my life
Speaker 3: that I would have never met had it up and
Speaker 3: hobbies like the ranch hand at the ranch I go to,
Speaker 3: I talked to like very frequently, like I have my
Speaker 3: people at the farmer's market that like sell me plants
Speaker 3: that I taught. Like it's just so cool. Need appointing.
Speaker 3: I go and like, you know all these grandma. I
Speaker 3: was like, you know, that's my dream. You meet a
Speaker 3: lot of like really cool people. I think in my
Speaker 3: earlier twenties it was hard because it didn't feel like
Speaker 3: I was ever like clocking out in a way.
Speaker 2: But like I have a cool shop ever, so it's
Speaker 2: like not the worst thing in the world.
Speaker 3: So I started hobbies to not monetize them, and then
Speaker 3: I like build whole business around that.
Speaker 2: So like that's kind of about the door.
Speaker 1: How did you know how to build a business?
Speaker 3: People really underestimate YouTube. When I went to school, I
Speaker 3: majored in business, and I was so surprised by how
Speaker 3: many things I'd learned just being in that space. I
Speaker 3: maybe didn't know the actual term or what it was,
Speaker 3: but I really did learned so much doing YouTube for
Speaker 3: like a couple of years prior. And I also just
Speaker 3: like love it. You can learn so much to like
Speaker 3: podcast in books, in just by doing I've learned way
Speaker 3: more in those areas than I ever did in school.
Speaker 1: Give me nitty gritty, like because you have a right
Speaker 1: hand person who's helping you create all these products, or
Speaker 1: you're doing this solo.
Speaker 2: So the business is just me.
Speaker 3: We do have people that are freelanced, that are heavily involved,
Speaker 3: like I couldn't do it without them, Like we are
Speaker 3: building a team, but there's no one full time.
Speaker 1: I'll give you an example, like all the card games
Speaker 1: I ship out of my apartment.
Speaker 2: Okay, No, we do have a fulfillment center.
Speaker 1: Okay I can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah that I can't do. But we don't have like
Speaker 2: full time employees.
Speaker 3: We do have like teams and vendors that are obviously
Speaker 3: like making the products and not like doing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not mailing them.
Speaker 1: I go to a PO box to drop things off.
Speaker 1: But I'm amazed by mail, Like the fact that we
Speaker 1: can get things from one place to another so quickly
Speaker 1: blows my mind.
Speaker 2: No, that does blow my mind. That to me is crazy.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll like mail so the out I CAMPLI this
Speaker 3: is going to be like so and So's house, like
Speaker 3: so like you know, after something. I asked a lot
Speaker 3: of questions, and honestly, I was so lucky with the
Speaker 3: podcast because I was able to interview and be in
Speaker 3: rooms with all of these very successful entrepreneurs that I
Speaker 3: would have never been in the same room as otherwise.
Speaker 3: So I was able to learn up close to like
Speaker 3: so many other people so cool years leading up to it.
Speaker 2: So I got really lucky.
Speaker 1: That's so cool. Have you always been that girl or
Speaker 1: did you have like a glow up at any point
Speaker 1: in your life?
Speaker 2: Like what do you mean by that? Girl?
Speaker 1: Like, I feel like people are drawn to you, like
Speaker 1: you sparkle, thank you, And I'm wondering if that's always
Speaker 1: been the case or if you can pinpoint a moment
Speaker 1: where something changed.
Speaker 2: This reminds me of something that you've said to me.
Speaker 3: How Like I wasn't the cutestin school, but I thought
Speaker 3: I was, like I've always felt that way, like I've
Speaker 3: always had that energy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if that was always true, And it.
Speaker 3: Really depends on who you ask for sure, But I
Speaker 3: was like clast favorite in the yearbook. I was very involvable. Also,
Speaker 3: I was like going to court for truancy. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: was like really working in the system there. But I
Speaker 3: just like people, like, I don't know. I was always
Speaker 3: very talkative. I was always very social. I was always
Speaker 3: one who was like planning the parties and the surprise
Speaker 3: birthday parties and.
Speaker 2: All that stuff.
Speaker 1: I think something that I have noticed about you that
Speaker 1: is funny is that people would not expect that you
Speaker 1: have done so much deep in our work because you
Speaker 1: don't talk about it all the time. It's not like
Speaker 1: your brand. But you are so into self development books.
Speaker 1: You're so into bettering yourself. Was that always the case? Yes,
Speaker 1: from a young age.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, my whole life.
Speaker 3: I always joke that my dad is like at my
Speaker 3: let just like minus the billions of dollars, Like he
Speaker 3: is so into leadership.
Speaker 2: He's always been so into self development.
Speaker 3: He was a huge athlete growing up, so he really
Speaker 3: got that I think mindset from being an athlete.
Speaker 2: But no, I've always been so much.
Speaker 3: I was reading self help books in like high school,
Speaker 3: in middle school. Actually really it's crazy. Back then it
Speaker 3: was more like Christian based books. But yeah, I woul
Speaker 3: always doing stuff. What was the book that started at
Speaker 3: all for you? I don't know if there's one book.
Speaker 3: As a kid, I just remember always having them and
Speaker 3: I was in therapy like starting in fifth grade.
Speaker 2: So I feel like that kind of led me down
Speaker 2: that path a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't think of.
Speaker 3: One book though before like eighteen that I remember, but
Speaker 3: I was reading them, Like I don't know how much
Speaker 3: it actually did.
Speaker 2: For me, but I was doing it, you know.
Speaker 1: So your company is called friend of Mine and it
Speaker 1: even has the word friend in it. When I think
Speaker 1: of you, I think of a truly good friend. You
Speaker 1: are a solid friend to a lot of different people
Speaker 1: who taught you how to be a good friend.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I was taught to be a
Speaker 3: good friend as much as that was just something that
Speaker 3: I cared so much about.
Speaker 2: I also got very lucky at a young age.
Speaker 3: So many of those people I'm still like the people
Speaker 3: I was texting on the way here, I've known since
Speaker 3: I was eight.
Speaker 2: Also, I think my childhoo best.
Speaker 3: Friend was an only child, and my home life at
Speaker 3: the time was very tumultuous and like really all over
Speaker 3: the place. And I love my family, we're so close style,
Speaker 3: but it was just very rocky. So I think that
Speaker 3: that friendship like really shaped me a ton looking back,
Speaker 3: because we were kind of each other's family, and that's
Speaker 3: really I would say where I like learned more so
Speaker 3: to be a good friend. I think maybe from other
Speaker 3: people around me. I don't think it was so intentional.
Speaker 3: My parents didn't like sit down and say, like we
Speaker 3: value friendship. I think it was just like something I
Speaker 3: really wanted.
Speaker 1: I asked because one of my favorite qualities about my
Speaker 1: mom is I think she's a really good friend to people.
Speaker 1: But like you said, we never sat down and talked
Speaker 1: about friendship. I think I watched her, like when her
Speaker 1: friend Susan had breast cancer, she would go and drop
Speaker 1: food off every week, and she just really shows up
Speaker 1: for people. But I do think that like in my twenties,
Speaker 1: I took pieces of friendship. I don't know how to
Speaker 1: say this, Like I watched my friends be friends and
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, that was so nice how she showed
Speaker 1: up for me. That felt good. I should do that
Speaker 1: for other people, and I would like take all these
Speaker 1: little pieces. Have you experienced that at all?
Speaker 2: Yes? And I actually think the biggest influence as far
Speaker 2: as friendship would go, would just be like Texas culture,
Speaker 2: That's just kind of how it is.
Speaker 3: Like I was surrounded by so many people who were
Speaker 3: such good friends and were always showing up, and like
Speaker 3: witnessing that definitely led me to want to do that
Speaker 3: more like my parents.
Speaker 2: They weren't like so social when I was a kid.
Speaker 3: They weren't like friends around all the time, and I
Speaker 3: think maybe I wanted that.
Speaker 2: I don't really know.
Speaker 3: I do think it's like the culture of Texas though
Speaker 3: like Texas is the very like welcoming place. It's very
Speaker 3: like Texas or die It's very community based, like people
Speaker 3: are always showing up for each other. Honestly, having a
Speaker 3: church background, I think it's a huge part of it
Speaker 3: because we were all so close, like my like youth
Speaker 3: group friends and I were like so so so close,
Speaker 3: Like we're still showing up for each other last week,
Speaker 3: like with someone's experiencing a tragedy. So maybe it's Texas,
Speaker 3: maybe it's a church background. I think it's a combination
Speaker 3: of just seeing.
Speaker 1: All that what is showing up mean for you?
Speaker 2: I think it.
Speaker 3: Looks different depending on the situation and also depending on
Speaker 3: the person. I think people are so scared to show
Speaker 3: up for other people because they think that that means
Speaker 3: you have to have all the answers, like you have
Speaker 3: to go there and you have to talk to them,
Speaker 3: you have to give them this advice, even when it's
Speaker 3: this catastrophic.
Speaker 2: Thing you've never experienced.
Speaker 3: And I think showing up for someone is actually very simple,
Speaker 3: going and sitting on the couch with them for four hours,
Speaker 3: Like you don't even have to speak, You don't have
Speaker 3: to talk, you can watch a show. You actually probably
Speaker 3: shouldn't offer advice if you don't have an experience, like
Speaker 3: if someone's not asking for it. It just varies, and
Speaker 3: then it could be like if you're a long distance
Speaker 3: friend just calling checking in.
Speaker 2: It just depends on the friendship.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that sticks out to you that a
Speaker 1: friend's done that made you feel really loved or taken
Speaker 1: care of?
Speaker 2: Oh mean, there's so much by like cheap best friends.
Speaker 3: Dom and Macie have been like my lifeline since like
Speaker 3: my brother passed away in January last year. Like I
Speaker 3: cry every time I talk about it, because like they've
Speaker 3: done everything. As soon as I found out, I texted
Speaker 3: domin I was like I need to hear. I found
Speaker 3: out probably two pm on a Sunday, and she was
Speaker 3: in my bed at like ten beyond Sunday, Like.
Speaker 2: She was there so fast.
Speaker 3: Wow, I think just like them consistently being there and
Speaker 3: consistently showing up, Like I've learned so much about friendship
Speaker 3: from specific my friendship with Domic.
Speaker 2: We've been first friends since you were like twenty years old.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we've gone through so many different like life
Speaker 3: phases together, and I think that has been a friendship
Speaker 3: has probably made the biggest impact.
Speaker 2: But I think they're such a good example of people
Speaker 2: who just show up.
Speaker 1: It's like the best feeling in the world when you
Speaker 1: call on a friend and they're there. Faith is a
Speaker 1: really big part of your background. You touched on it
Speaker 1: a little bit. Does it show up for you in
Speaker 1: your life today?
Speaker 2: Still, Yeah, just in a different way. I think. Here's
Speaker 2: the thing. I've like always had a pretty strong faith.
Speaker 3: My relationship with the church has definitely like ebbed and flowed.
Speaker 2: But even when I was like so out of.
Speaker 3: It and like couldn't even like hear a worship song,
Speaker 3: it would like literally maybe want to punch someone into face.
Speaker 3: Like even at that point, I still heard, like what
Speaker 3: I felt was like a strong connection with God.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you feel this way, but I
Speaker 1: think like religion and a relationship with God can be
Speaker 1: two separate totally.
Speaker 3: They're very different, and they've always been very different to me.
Speaker 3: There's just been times where I've been like more involved
Speaker 3: with church, and I think that's really where things go south.
Speaker 3: And also like I love the church, Like I think
Speaker 3: there's like so many amazing things about it. I don't
Speaker 3: go religiously. I'm not always there, but I definitely see
Speaker 3: the pros. I've made some of my best friends with
Speaker 3: the word. I met don there.
Speaker 2: Definitely it's been a journey for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it is something that as much as I
Speaker 3: like try to get away from it, it's always there.
Speaker 3: Like as much as I try to get as far
Speaker 3: away and I have no interest, I somehow always find
Speaker 3: my way back. So I think I just kind of
Speaker 3: have to stop fighting it. There's just something I don't know.
Speaker 1: I actually have never asked you this. Did you grow
Speaker 1: up in a religious household or how did church become
Speaker 1: so important to you?
Speaker 3: So I didn't grow up in a very religious household.
Speaker 3: We would go on like Christmas in Easter occasionally, and
Speaker 3: then my parents had a really bad divorce when I
Speaker 3: was in middle school. And around that time I had
Speaker 3: friends who really inviting me to youth group. Right, so
Speaker 3: I go to youth camp. I'm obsassed, I'm dating the
Speaker 3: pastor some Within a week of course, classic's.
Speaker 2: The most meathing has ever happened.
Speaker 5: And I like make all these friends and I like
Speaker 5: loved it.
Speaker 3: So I started going on my own and then I
Speaker 3: had a pretty bad, like traumatic experience there and I
Speaker 3: stopped going.
Speaker 2: I ended up moving to la and I ended up in.
Speaker 3: A Bible college, which is like so backwards and crazy.
Speaker 3: So I didn't grow up and it was always my
Speaker 3: own thing, which I think is largely white.
Speaker 2: It's always been more of a relationship.
Speaker 3: Like I didn't grow up in like a religious environment, right,
Speaker 3: and I've always been like a very progressive person, so
Speaker 3: like I've never been like a conservative religious feel like
Speaker 3: that's never been my thing, which is another issue.
Speaker 2: That I've had. So like it's very layered.
Speaker 1: Do you pray?
Speaker 3: It's crazy, Like I just got a second place in Nashville,
Speaker 3: And I had always had this feeling that I was
Speaker 3: going to end up in Nashville at some point in
Speaker 3: some capacity. I didn't really feel like it was going
Speaker 3: to be full time. I just didn't know what that
Speaker 3: was going to look like. Normally, you know me, I'm
Speaker 3: so decisive. The second I have a feeling about something,
Speaker 3: I do it. But for some reason, I just know
Speaker 3: it's not yet. So Actually March of twenty twenty, were
Speaker 3: in Nashville when like COVID hit and I just bought my.
Speaker 2: House in Texas and I have this feeling immediate. I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my God. And I have these specific
Speaker 2: feelings about moving.
Speaker 3: Always, I was like, I'm going crazy. I just bought
Speaker 3: a house in Texas. Isn't sing and feel insane? But
Speaker 3: I just kind of clocked it in the back of
Speaker 3: my head. I was always like, there's like something in Nashville.
Speaker 3: I don't know what it is, but like eventually, fast
Speaker 3: forward to February of this year, I was visiting some
Speaker 3: friends in Nashville. I was there last minute. I wasn't
Speaker 3: even supposed to be there. I booked my flight like
Speaker 3: a day before. I was supposed to be there for
Speaker 3: two days. I was there for six and I had
Speaker 3: that feeling, but it was way stronger this time.
Speaker 1: How do you describe the feeling.
Speaker 2: It's just a really strong gut feeling to me.
Speaker 3: If something is a god thing, it's something that's like
Speaker 3: coming into my mind that like I'm not really trying
Speaker 3: to orchestraight, Like I wasn't trying to like actively move
Speaker 3: to Nashville. At that point, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: I started thinking about a lot, like it was coming
Speaker 3: to mind a ton, and it wasn't something that like
Speaker 3: I necessarily like wanted either. So in February I was
Speaker 3: there and I was talking to a friend and I
Speaker 3: was saying, like, I don't know what it is, but
Speaker 3: I just feel like I'm supposed to do it sooner
Speaker 3: or other than later.
Speaker 2: I think this is like the shift that I need
Speaker 2: to make in my life.
Speaker 3: I just have this like very strong gut feeling, but
Speaker 3: I also have this weird feeling that like, if it's
Speaker 3: meant to be, it's going to be easy. And I
Speaker 3: don't really subscribe to that like idea of life in general,
Speaker 3: but for some reason, I just really felt strong, if
Speaker 3: it's supposed to happen, it's going to happen. In that conversation,
Speaker 3: he gets a text from his landlord because there's two
Speaker 3: guest houses on this property.
Speaker 2: He gets at taxed from his landlord that.
Speaker 3: That guest house was opening up the date that I
Speaker 3: wanted it. So I was like, that's so crazy because
Speaker 3: all the other issues that I had too were all
Speaker 3: solved by living in that house, like specifically versus like
Speaker 3: another apartment or something in Nashville. So it was so crazy,
Speaker 3: but it was like I prayed about it that week
Speaker 3: and literally within days it happened, and it came together
Speaker 3: so seamlessly, to the point where I was like, that
Speaker 3: was the craziest thing.
Speaker 2: That's ever happened me.
Speaker 1: Do you ever get signs?
Speaker 2: Yes? Do you get signs?
Speaker 1: Okay? So I grew up without a lot of religion
Speaker 1: in my life at all, and I would say even
Speaker 1: without faith, and I'm like culturally Jewish. And then I
Speaker 1: moved to la and I met this guy. I actually
Speaker 1: had him on the podcast, so I won't recount it,
Speaker 1: but his name is Steve Carlston and he was the
Speaker 1: GM of NBC and he was Mormon, and I watched
Speaker 1: how he lived his life and I'd never been in
Speaker 1: such admiration of somebody. And it was around the same
Speaker 1: time that I started reading books like Oprah. That's was
Speaker 1: the first time I picked up self development. And a
Speaker 1: lot of these people that I was admiring virtually or
Speaker 1: up close had some sort of faith. They were all
Speaker 1: different religions. Some didn't even have religion, but they had
Speaker 1: faith in something in FARSI like, God means the deepest
Speaker 1: part of you. And I always have like loved that
Speaker 1: idea of it, and I thought, I wonder if I'm
Speaker 1: missing something because all these people I admire have such
Speaker 1: deep faith. And I worked on and I worked on it,
Speaker 1: and it would come and it would go, and I
Speaker 1: would waiver and I would be skeptical, and then I
Speaker 1: would feel something. And it wasn't until I dated the
Speaker 1: last boyfriend I had. He was Catholic and he had
Speaker 1: such a beautiful relationship with God, and I thought, whoa,
Speaker 1: it like clicked for me and we don't necessarily worship
Speaker 1: the same God. I don't know, like maybe we do.
Speaker 1: It's the universe. I'm not sure what it is. But
Speaker 1: ever since I became mindful like and noticing, signs have
Speaker 1: showed up in my life. That was the long story
Speaker 1: to say, like yes, and even though I noticed them,
Speaker 1: I'm still skeptical because like the inner child in me
Speaker 1: is like, is this for real?
Speaker 2: But by the way, I'm still like that, oh my God.
Speaker 2: Still yes.
Speaker 3: I still am like I don't know is this real?
Speaker 3: And I go through months where I am so disconnected
Speaker 3: and then I'll get back. That's what I mean by
Speaker 3: something always pulls me back in like there's always something,
Speaker 3: But I still had that even when I think I
Speaker 3: see something that I feel like is a sign, or
Speaker 3: I get this idea out of nowhere, it's actually something
Speaker 3: I was praying about and it's actually answered.
Speaker 2: I'm always like, but was that an answer, Preyer or
Speaker 2: was that just a coincidence? Always? Yeah, right, Even if
Speaker 2: none of.
Speaker 3: This is real, I would rather live with the hope
Speaker 3: that it is because it gives you something to believe
Speaker 3: in that's greater than yourself, that's supposed to be bringing
Speaker 3: people together.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: Of course, religion, historically and even now it is being
Speaker 3: used in a very negative way where it's doing the
Speaker 3: complete opposite of that and like oppressing people, and that
Speaker 3: is not what I subscribe to. But I think it's
Speaker 3: a really beautiful thing to believe in something bigger than you.
Speaker 3: Another thing too, that my family and I talk about
Speaker 3: with grief is that when you have a loss that
Speaker 3: is so close to you and so catastrophic and like
Speaker 3: feels like a part of you is like ripped out,
Speaker 3: you almost have this like sixth sense where you feel
Speaker 3: God so much closer to you, even though you're like
Speaker 3: so angry and want like nothing to do with him,
Speaker 3: But there's just so many things in life that I
Speaker 3: feel like I have. It's weird to say advantage point
Speaker 3: of because like, obviously it's not a positive, but I
Speaker 3: feel like I can see things a lot clearer. It's
Speaker 3: like grief, there's this thing where it makes everything in
Speaker 3: the world so foggy you can't think straight. I still
Speaker 3: have such bad brain fogg this morning when we're recording,
Speaker 3: Like my brain fog is just so bad it can't
Speaker 3: even like speak normally still. But at the same time,
Speaker 3: you have this clarity of like understanding what really matters,
Speaker 3: what's worth your time.
Speaker 2: Anything that I.
Speaker 3: Was confused about, like relationally or with people in my
Speaker 3: life before, I think it was over time abundantly clear
Speaker 3: to me what the answers were.
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of that has to do
Speaker 2: with grief.
Speaker 3: I think it all kind of goes into this like
Speaker 3: spiritual realm, whatever it is, where you just have this
Speaker 3: like understanding when you experience such a loss and you
Speaker 3: yourself are like crash into a billion pieces and having
Speaker 3: to be put back together.
Speaker 1: You talk about your brother a lot on your podcast.
Speaker 1: Is it hard to talk about him?
Speaker 3: It depends on my vibe that day, Like some days
Speaker 3: I just can't at all, and other days, if I
Speaker 3: can talk about it publicly, if I feel a little
Speaker 3: more removed, Like today, I feel a little more removed.
Speaker 3: I find a lot of healing in it, and like
Speaker 3: connecting with other people in grief has been like beneficial
Speaker 3: to me. And that's not everyone's experience, but I feel
Speaker 3: a little bit of healing.
Speaker 1: I think, did you lose friends, Oh my god, because
Speaker 1: you felt like people didn't show up for you?
Speaker 3: Yes, that was my friend breakup. That's why it was
Speaker 3: so catastrophic and like painful. I would say I didn't
Speaker 3: lose many other friends because I felt that way. I
Speaker 3: think I just changed, Like you're so different at the course,
Speaker 3: like I've always been the same, but grief changes you
Speaker 3: in so many different ways, and I just like didn't
Speaker 3: have the energy for like so many other things.
Speaker 2: So you lose friendships in that way. I feel like overall,
Speaker 2: like my friends really showed up.
Speaker 1: One of the things I love about my friendship with
Speaker 1: you is that you're gen z and I'm a millennial.
Speaker 1: I'm wondering what you think are great divide is like,
Speaker 1: what do you notice is our biggest differences.
Speaker 2: One.
Speaker 3: I think that gen Z there's this like narrative around
Speaker 3: them being like very lazy and not wanting.
Speaker 2: To work and listen. Like that is true, I can
Speaker 2: see it. But I also think that.
Speaker 3: Gen Z is like brilliant, and I think that they
Speaker 3: have so many good ideas and that there's so much
Speaker 3: coming that's like great from gen Z. I think what's
Speaker 3: happening too with gen Z is that gen Z is
Speaker 3: like way over correcting millennials.
Speaker 1: Like over correcting. What what did we do? Like we
Speaker 1: were boundaries side parts.
Speaker 3: No, like think about like even something like boundaries, right,
Speaker 3: We're like that wasn't really talked about in generations prior
Speaker 3: to millennials, right, And then like I feel like gen
Speaker 3: Z really took boundaries and ran with it so much
Speaker 3: so to the point where like they are losing all
Speaker 3: of their friendships by way of having quote boundaries, but
Speaker 3: really they're just being selfish and not wanting to show
Speaker 3: up for other people or like being a part of
Speaker 3: a village, Like they don't want to do that. I
Speaker 3: honestly think that they see to respect each other more
Speaker 3: because like I.
Speaker 1: Agree, I think that's what it is a lot to
Speaker 1: learn from it.
Speaker 2: Exactly, and like millennials paved the way. Have some respect
Speaker 2: and gen Z like isn't dumb and lazy? Have some respect?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? I think that's what it is.
Speaker 1: I think you guys know a lot more than we did.
Speaker 3: Do you think that's because of the amount of access
Speaker 3: we have, like medioized.
Speaker 1: I think the Internet held I think like what was
Speaker 1: formerly known as Twitter helped in some ways too, because
Speaker 1: you guys were like thinking in sound bites. You understood
Speaker 1: how to be concise, how to be clear. The idea
Speaker 1: of building a brand, which like every person is sort
Speaker 1: of a brand in some ways, is so clear to
Speaker 1: you guys. I think that's not just a therapy.
Speaker 3: Though.
Speaker 1: I have a hot take on boundaries.
Speaker 2: What do you think I don't love them, Okay.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times when you are thinking
Speaker 1: about putting up a boundary, you're not coming from a
Speaker 1: place of love. Gary Zukov talks about it, and he
Speaker 1: can say it much more eloquently than I can. Listen.
Speaker 1: If something is super toxic or violent, that's not included.
Speaker 1: But like I tried putting up boundaries with my mom,
Speaker 1: and I have to tell you, I'm way happier just
Speaker 1: having things roll off my shoulder and laughing and being like,
Speaker 1: you're so nuts, I love you, instead of putting the
Speaker 1: boundary up and then being mad and not talking for
Speaker 1: a little.
Speaker 3: I think we use like therapy talk as like a
Speaker 3: which is quite literally the opposite of like what you're
Speaker 3: supposed to be doing. I think boundaries have a place,
Speaker 3: and I think they're good in areas. I really do
Speaker 3: think we just have become too self focused and we
Speaker 3: don't prioritize our relationship with other people nearly as much
Speaker 3: as we should. Showing up in actually having long lasting
Speaker 3: friendships and relationships in close family relationships does come at
Speaker 3: a cost, Like you do have to make sacrifices, you
Speaker 3: do have to be uncomfortable, you do have to put
Speaker 3: your stuff on the back burner.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's just bounding.
Speaker 3: I think it's therapy speak in general, and I think
Speaker 3: it's really weaponized in order to like validate our emotions
Speaker 3: versus actually like process them and work through it and
Speaker 3: get to the other side. I think instead, more often
Speaker 3: than not, what's happening is that people are using their
Speaker 3: therapists and their therapy speak to like reiterate their point
Speaker 3: that they're right and everyone else is wrong around them.
Speaker 3: I think that's really what's happening, and I think it's
Speaker 3: detrimental to our relationships. And that's why we have this
Speaker 3: like loneliness epidemic because people are not willing to be
Speaker 3: a friend. They want all of it, but they don't
Speaker 3: want to do it themselves.
Speaker 1: So interesting you say that, I saw this woman Moe
Speaker 1: Digs put up a video where she said that when
Speaker 1: you see a woman who's like throwing a dinner or
Speaker 1: any event and you see a lot of people show up,
Speaker 1: know that that's a woman who has shown up a
Speaker 1: lot of times, who has said no to herself sometimes
Speaker 1: in order to say yes to other people. And I
Speaker 1: do think that's the case sometimes.
Speaker 3: And I think you just have to find the right
Speaker 3: people to show up for so it doesn't feel like
Speaker 3: it's a cost.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you can't do that for everyone in your life.
Speaker 3: So like there is a quote boundary when it comes
Speaker 3: to like certain people.
Speaker 1: Who are just not the inner circle.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that that's what it is. I think
Speaker 3: with their inner circle, it's of course like in good health.
Speaker 3: But I think that the conversation needs to here on
Speaker 3: like showing up for people and being there and being
Speaker 3: a friend versus like how to have boundaries.
Speaker 2: Also, people aren't perfect. Let's like relax a little bit.
Speaker 1: I feel like you go with your gut, like you
Speaker 1: go with your intuition a lot. How do you determine
Speaker 1: what's intuition versus what's anxiety?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this has been the question I've asked
Speaker 3: myself my entire life.
Speaker 2: I think one of them is louder for me.
Speaker 3: What I've realized is that for so long, I was
Speaker 3: so busy listening to everyone else's voice in my life
Speaker 3: and not my own, and I didn't even have like
Speaker 3: a relationship with myself. I didn't know what I wanted
Speaker 3: because I'd relied on everyone else to tell me. So
Speaker 3: I started spending a lot of time alone. I started journaling.
Speaker 3: Even when I was obsessed with self help, I was
Speaker 3: still listening to all the outside voices. So I had
Speaker 3: to almost like try a little less and just get
Speaker 3: quiet and get to know my voice better or like
Speaker 3: what I believe to be like God's voice or whatever.
Speaker 3: I had to spend time alone and get to know
Speaker 3: myself to even understand that. I also kind of want
Speaker 3: to say it's like ones out of fear and the
Speaker 3: other one isn't. But I think fear and being scared
Speaker 3: or different, Like I think anxiety is out of fear.
Speaker 3: You can have a gut feeling and be nervous, and
Speaker 3: you can be scared. But I think when you're making
Speaker 3: a decision out of fear, you're making it out of
Speaker 3: like feeling insecure.
Speaker 2: I don't think there's.
Speaker 3: Like one easy blanket answer, but I do think a
Speaker 3: lot of it comes from like getting quiet.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of our.
Speaker 3: Answers in life come from like just being quiet with yourself,
Speaker 3: which is the last thing that any of us want
Speaker 3: to do.
Speaker 2: So it's not the fun answer, but I think for
Speaker 2: me that's what's.
Speaker 1: Worked me too. That's why, like we always get good
Speaker 1: ideas in the car and the shower. It's not like
Speaker 1: a coincidence. It's places where we either don't have our
Speaker 1: phone or we're quiet. Yeah, friend of Mine feels like
Speaker 1: such a natural extension of your aesthetic and your values.
Speaker 1: What was the first seed of the idea?
Speaker 3: I had wanted to do a recipe journal for like
Speaker 3: the podcast merch years ago, and I kept saying, like
Speaker 3: we need to do recpee journals. We need to do
Speaker 3: recipe journals, and like with merch, you can't really just
Speaker 3: create a full product.
Speaker 2: That's not really how that works.
Speaker 1: So what's a recipe journal.
Speaker 2: It's a journal for recipes, so like you fill in
Speaker 2: your own recipe.
Speaker 1: Oh cool.
Speaker 3: So that was like our very first product and that's
Speaker 3: what I really wanted to do. And over time then
Speaker 3: I got really into hosting and I really want like
Speaker 3: a tabletop line. There was just so many things, and
Speaker 3: then as time went on, I started to.
Speaker 2: Think, this is a brand. This isn't just like a
Speaker 2: single merch product.
Speaker 3: So it really started from there, and I had a
Speaker 3: brand before that we had shut down. And looking back now,
Speaker 3: if I could tell myself, like I knew that it
Speaker 3: wasn't what I was supposed to be doing, but I
Speaker 3: was people pleasing, which is so unlike me. I'm not
Speaker 3: a people The day it launched, I was like, I
Speaker 3: just don't think this is the right fit.
Speaker 2: And again it goes back to I just thought I
Speaker 2: was nervous.
Speaker 3: I thought I was just afraid because I couldn't tell
Speaker 3: if it was anxiety or if it was a gut feeling,
Speaker 3: and I felt like it was anxiety. The whole time.
Speaker 3: Looking back now, I now see that it was a
Speaker 3: gut feeling. We did that for about a year and
Speaker 3: then we just wanted different things, so we ended up
Speaker 3: shutting that down. And literally the day that we closed
Speaker 3: that company, or we decided that we were going to close,
Speaker 3: I had one thousand ideas and I was like alive again,
Speaker 3: and I was so excited, and I'd already contacted so
Speaker 3: many people about logos and brandings and websites.
Speaker 2: I just like knew that that was when I was
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 3: But looking back, that was my biggest lesson and like
Speaker 3: that was an anxiety, that was a gut feeling, but
Speaker 3: I was ignoring myself because I didn't want to disappoint
Speaker 3: people around me, which is not their fault.
Speaker 2: Like that was completely me. But now I know.
Speaker 1: Now you know that you're Martha Stewart.
Speaker 5: No, and now like I want to be Martha Stewart.
Speaker 1: What's been the most unexpected challenge to launching a brand?
Speaker 2: I don't even think anything unexpected.
Speaker 3: I think it's just hard, Like it's so hard, it's
Speaker 3: so hard, and it wasn't something that I didn't know
Speaker 3: going into it.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of something.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't say it's so hard it takes everything out
Speaker 1: of you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that because I don't feel like
Speaker 3: what I'm doing is killing me, because it's like giving
Speaker 3: me energy because I love it. But it's not an
Speaker 3: easy thing. But I think that just shows like I'm
Speaker 3: doing what I meant to be doing. And I feel
Speaker 3: the way about all of my friends who are entrepreneurs.
Speaker 3: It's like the hours and the amount of like blood,
Speaker 3: sweat and tears, and I'm financing all of it, like
Speaker 3: all my money. Everything comes back to me like if
Speaker 3: we're not paying. It's a lot of like mental energy.
Speaker 3: But I just love it so much that I don't
Speaker 3: feel dreamed from it.
Speaker 1: When I launched Question Everything, I only ordered two hundred
Speaker 1: card games because I was so nervous no one would
Speaker 1: buy them. And I thought, well, at least I could
Speaker 1: sell two hundred to friends and family. I know two
Speaker 1: hundred people that could buy a card game, I think.
Speaker 1: And on Shopify, which is a website where you sell things,
Speaker 1: you can see all the orders that come in, and
Speaker 1: so I go live. I put the video up on
Speaker 1: Instagram and you hear the little.
Speaker 2: King kuching like those things.
Speaker 1: It's the best sound on shopify right, and I look
Speaker 1: to see who bought them. First of all, my mom
Speaker 1: didn't buy one, none of my family members bought them,
Speaker 1: none of my good friends bought them. The first I
Speaker 1: would say thirty to forty people who bought were female entrepreneurs,
Speaker 1: some of them that I knew well, some that I
Speaker 1: didn't know all. And I knew in that moment why
Speaker 1: they bought the card game, and it was because they
Speaker 1: knew how hard it was to do anything, you know,
Speaker 1: and they had respect. So now when anybody I know
Speaker 1: launches anything, even if I don't want it, I'll gift
Speaker 1: it Sam I'm their first fire.
Speaker 3: I buy anything anyone launches, like I am always buying it.
Speaker 3: I feel that it's never the people closest to you
Speaker 3: that are really like the most supportive with your business.
Speaker 3: It's always the people who are like almost like two
Speaker 3: people remove. Yeah, like not so close, but they are
Speaker 3: the most supportive, especially people who understand building a small business.
Speaker 3: I have this hosting closet that's like this really really
Speaker 3: extra closet where I keep all of.
Speaker 2: Myself to host. In this closet, it's wallpaper.
Speaker 3: By the way, I have a cookbook wall and I
Speaker 3: keep like recipe journals there, and I keep a bunch
Speaker 3: of cookbooks.
Speaker 2: And I saw that I had like.
Speaker 3: A Wishbone kitchen cookbook and it was like a paper cookbook.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, when did I get that? I happen
Speaker 2: to see because she just launched a new cookbook.
Speaker 3: She made a video saying forever ago I published my
Speaker 3: own cookbook.
Speaker 2: I bought five hundred copies.
Speaker 3: I did it on TikTok, and like, now it's so
Speaker 3: crazy because now I'm doing this whole cookbook and I'm
Speaker 3: so excited about it.
Speaker 2: Now She's a New York Times bestsellert launch last week.
Speaker 2: I don't even know her about.
Speaker 3: The way the people literally never spoken and so I
Speaker 3: guess years ago I didn't connect the doss with that
Speaker 3: was her cause I wasn't like actively following.
Speaker 2: At that point.
Speaker 3: I just saw this girl on TikTok with this cookbook
Speaker 3: and I bought it. But like that is a female entrepreneur,
Speaker 3: Like you are just constantly buying things because like I've
Speaker 3: sold so much products in the past, Like I understand it.
Speaker 2: So I am like the first to.
Speaker 1: Buy yep, always always. I don't know a lot about
Speaker 1: hosting the only things I know are from Prea Parker's
Speaker 1: book The Art of Gathering. She taught me that it's
Speaker 1: not good to be a lazy host, which I think
Speaker 1: I used to be in the past because I thought
Speaker 1: I was a chill host. Okay, I thought I was.
Speaker 2: Like, where whatever you want, I don't care where you sit.
Speaker 1: And Priya Parker taught me no, like rules are actually
Speaker 1: a gift to people when you're hosting. What is your
Speaker 1: best lazy girl hosting tip?
Speaker 2: A theme?
Speaker 3: I think theme saves to day and it makes people
Speaker 3: get so much more involved in it. Most recently, I've
Speaker 3: been going through and hosting a dinner party to every
Speaker 3: Nancy Meyers movie and it's been so fun because people
Speaker 3: come and they dress up as characters. And I say
Speaker 3: lazy because like it is lazy, Like you have a
Speaker 3: theme and then everything is kind of set for you.
Speaker 2: It makes it easier on you, makes it easier on
Speaker 2: the guest.
Speaker 3: And we actually started with Christmas time. During Christmas, I
Speaker 3: did a dinner party that was a holiday theme, which
Speaker 3: is my favorite movie ever, and it was so fun,
Speaker 3: like all of us came dressed up as like different
Speaker 3: characters and we had like Christmas Betta.
Speaker 2: Chini and I had Aveline wine because that's Cameron Tino's's wine.
Speaker 3: Like it was so fun and it does feel like
Speaker 3: you're going the extra step, but really it's lazy because
Speaker 3: everything's planned for you. Like you actually have like structure,
Speaker 3: and your guests are more likely to get into.
Speaker 2: It when they have a theme.
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that you have a template almost literally.
Speaker 3: We actually on the front of my website we have
Speaker 3: one hundred hosting theme ideas that you can just like
Speaker 3: download because I'm so aboptionate about themes, Like it makes
Speaker 3: it so much easier, especially when you're in your twenties,
Speaker 3: Like your friends don't really know how to be a guest.
Speaker 3: Like you can tell who grew up in like a
Speaker 3: southern home or like a mom that hosts based on
Speaker 3: like when they're coming out, like immediately, I can tell,
Speaker 3: but they don't really like, Oh tell me, they're bringing
Speaker 3: a host of skifts. Okay, they're saying thank you so much,
Speaker 3: they're bringing things. They'll never just show up. They're always
Speaker 3: on time. I never really cared about that.
Speaker 2: This is something I like to do. But you can
Speaker 2: tell like.
Speaker 1: Immediately, like always, what's your favorite host of skiff.
Speaker 3: Okay, I personally like love a candle because I'm always
Speaker 3: burning candles.
Speaker 1: I love an olive oil.
Speaker 3: I love love it all oil. I think Friend of
Speaker 3: Mine's a perfect toasting gifts. Actually those are the best,
Speaker 3: but I think olive oil. And I also love flowers,
Speaker 3: like I love getting flowers.
Speaker 2: That's nice, So I think that those are sweet.
Speaker 3: I heard Ina Garden say this once, and I think
Speaker 3: it's such a good tip when it comes to hosting gift.
Speaker 2: Don't bring anything.
Speaker 3: As a gift that you were running out and served
Speaker 3: that night, because it's an extra responsibility on the host
Speaker 3: and it's like ruining kind of like they're like function
Speaker 3: unless you bring it and it's already plated and ready
Speaker 3: to go and you don't even needs to grab anything
Speaker 3: from them. I think true good hostess gift is something
Speaker 3: that they are.
Speaker 2: Going to use later.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with you. Something Martha Stewart taught you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean literally everything.
Speaker 3: She is such a trailblazer and just does not care,
Speaker 3: like truly truly does not care and just like does
Speaker 3: whatever she wants. I think Martha Stewart has just taught me,
Speaker 3: in probably millions of other women, like how to evolve
Speaker 3: because she published her first cookbook at forty one. It
Speaker 3: was not a cookbook, it was an entertaining book, and
Speaker 3: used to work on Wall Street. She left, she started
Speaker 3: a catering business, then she launched this book, and then
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, she's had prison time, she had
Speaker 3: many different eras, and like she's consistently evolving and evolving
Speaker 3: with the times, and I just love that. Like, I
Speaker 3: feel like she's at the peak of her career eighty,
Speaker 3: which is incredible, and.
Speaker 2: She doesn't let like age.
Speaker 3: Or anything take her out, Like she's just going till
Speaker 3: the end of time, which I really respect and I
Speaker 3: think is very cool because especially as women, you feel
Speaker 3: like you have like a ticking clock, whether it's fertility
Speaker 3: or age that you can be on camera or whatever
Speaker 3: it is.
Speaker 2: And like Martha has defied all those.
Speaker 3: Odds, and I just think that's so cool, especially she's
Speaker 3: so ahead of her time for that.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: You love older women so much.
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with them, Yeah, literally obsessed.
Speaker 1: Finish this sentence. The older I get, the more I
Speaker 1: realize I know nothing a book that changed your life
Speaker 1: something you think everybody should read.
Speaker 3: The Gap and The Gain, The what the gap and
Speaker 3: the gain. I've never had a chancel of that. It's amazing.
Speaker 3: It's amazing if you are an Enneagram three and over achiever,
Speaker 3: first daughter, and it talks about why you never feel
Speaker 3: like you're doing enough or achieving enough or producing enough
Speaker 3: or whatever. Like it teaches you how to live from
Speaker 3: the gain versus the gap. It's so good, incredible.
Speaker 1: As an oldest daughter, I need to read. Okay, one
Speaker 1: thing every woman should try once.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, what would you say?
Speaker 1: An incredible love affair, Like even if it's for a weekend.
Speaker 2: I agree.
Speaker 3: I think you should, like go to Europe and just
Speaker 3: like have a time, just have a time, just have
Speaker 3: a time. I'm trying to think of something I've actually done.
Speaker 3: I think spending an extended period of time. It doesn't
Speaker 3: even necessarily have to be a move, but like, if
Speaker 3: you really like a location, I think just spending a
Speaker 3: month there, Like maybe you fall in love, just do
Speaker 3: something by yourself, Like I think that a month alone
Speaker 3: will change your life.
Speaker 1: I like that you said alone time. You can even
Speaker 1: do it if you're in a relationship with somebody totally,
Speaker 1: but like go for two weeks to a different location alone, yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: grab the question everything card game, pick a card.
Speaker 3: Okay, what's your all time most memorable meal. I'm shockingly
Speaker 3: not a foodie. Isn't that insane because I love.
Speaker 1: Cooking, Okay, but I don't actually mean the food.
Speaker 2: That's a dinner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the vibe which feels so right for you.
Speaker 3: I hosted this dinner party once and it was last summer.
Speaker 3: I always had like a Nancy Meyer's playlist in the background.
Speaker 3: It was like a summer theme when we're talking. And
Speaker 3: it was a really small, intimate group of girls. I
Speaker 3: love to invite people over that I don't know, like,
Speaker 3: I think it's really cool to get like recommendations from
Speaker 3: other people.
Speaker 2: I think it just makes like hosting so much more fun.
Speaker 3: These were all girls that i'd really kind of just met,
Speaker 3: and they're all telling the stories about how they met
Speaker 3: their husband and they're significant others or crazy things that
Speaker 3: have happened in their life. And one of them was
Speaker 3: telling this like beautiful story. It was an insane story
Speaker 3: of how she met her husband. And as she's telling
Speaker 3: the story, the music it all like movie scoring. It's
Speaker 3: getting louder and louder. It's like as she's telling this
Speaker 3: like beautiful story. The music's in the backgroundight, like literally
Speaker 3: felt like you were in a movie. I think about that,
Speaker 3: like every time I my dining.
Speaker 2: In it was crescendoing.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was so crazy and it really felt like
Speaker 3: it was a movie.
Speaker 2: I definitely have a better one that's like more like
Speaker 2: life teaching.
Speaker 1: All though, that was a perfect answer.
Speaker 4: You don't need another one.
Speaker 1: Throw the cards back, and we're going to play a
Speaker 1: game called host with the Most. Okay, I'm going to
Speaker 1: name a hosting situation. You have to answer really fast.
Speaker 1: What would you either do, serve or say? Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: You're hosting a last minute dinner party. What's your go to.
Speaker 2: Dish in a garden? Engagement Chicken?
Speaker 1: Three people dead are alive that you'd see at your
Speaker 1: dream dinner table.
Speaker 3: Dolly Parton, Martha Stewart in a garden. But I would
Speaker 3: put Martha and I on all of a sudden, Actually no,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't. I put them together make it more entertaining.
Speaker 1: You're curating a playlist. What's song number one?
Speaker 3: Anything on a Nancy Meyer's playlist? Like I'm always playing
Speaker 3: Nancy Meyer's playlist and they haven Nancy Myers playlist. By
Speaker 3: the way, for everything, bridal showers, parties, bachelorettes, there's music
Speaker 3: morning like all of it.
Speaker 1: What's one thing that instantly elevates a table, dim lit candles,
Speaker 1: a hosting ick, people who flay right before? What's your
Speaker 1: signature drink?
Speaker 3: I've recently gotten really into an ininegarden Cosmo, which I
Speaker 3: was not into them before.
Speaker 1: Okay, this works exactly for you because you just did this.
Speaker 1: You're in charge of a bridal shower activity. What are
Speaker 1: you doing?
Speaker 3: I think showers in general are like pretty chuggy like
Speaker 3: and they're not very fine then like chegi is a
Speaker 3: chegy word now I understand that, but there's no other
Speaker 3: way to describe that. No, I agree, and like, no
Speaker 3: one actually has fun as a showers. I think we
Speaker 3: should like ban showers and do dinner parties and just
Speaker 3: change it as a whole. I'm meant, please, I'm like
Speaker 3: throwing a baby shower right now, and we're like having
Speaker 3: the hardest time.
Speaker 2: There's definitely like cute things here.
Speaker 1: Baby showers are easier. Bridal showers are really hard to
Speaker 1: make fun and not choogy.
Speaker 3: They're literally so hard and also wires in the middle
Speaker 3: of the dam. I'm so tired, and then you have
Speaker 3: to have bright lighting. They're just not fun to do.
Speaker 1: Clean up as people are there? Do you wait till
Speaker 1: everyone's gone?
Speaker 2: I wait till everyone's gone. It's rude to start cleaning before.
Speaker 3: It's different when people because I have friends who will
Speaker 3: just stay for hours, so like please just like help
Speaker 3: me clean, Like that's one thing.
Speaker 2: But I wait for.
Speaker 3: Everyone to leave before because once you start cleaning, that's
Speaker 3: a sign that you want them to leave, and like
Speaker 3: I don't want them to leave, so you shouldn't do that.
Speaker 1: Is there like an etiquette book?
Speaker 2: I would say the art of gathering is one like
Speaker 2: you don't want your dinner party to end.
Speaker 3: By like nine pm. I hate when I spend like
Speaker 3: a week on a dinner party. I'm doing this whole thing,
Speaker 3: and then a friend is like, I'm tired. All right, guys,
Speaker 3: we're done, and it's like you're done, not everyone else.
Speaker 3: I just think it's so rude, Like I.
Speaker 2: Think that's such a faux pa. I hate it.
Speaker 3: I think it is so rude, Like it actually makes
Speaker 3: me so angry. I'm like, I've spent all this time,
Speaker 3: Like you don't want a dinner party to end by nine,
Speaker 3: Like that's not the sign of a good dinner party.
Speaker 3: But like one person can ruin it, Like one person
Speaker 3: can be like I'm leaving, we should all go because
Speaker 3: like they don't want to miss out on something.
Speaker 2: Like that is so rude. Trys me insane.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is a podcast speed round. This is social only,
Speaker 1: no overthinking, fast answers already. What's the worst thing someone
Speaker 1: can do on the mic e best icebreaker question?
Speaker 3: You know, what is a question that I like? It's
Speaker 3: not really an icebreaker, but I think like best purchase
Speaker 3: you've made under fifty dollars in the past month, And
Speaker 3: that's such a fun one.
Speaker 1: It's a good tim Ferris okay. Most underrated podcast guest
Speaker 1: trait someone who like answers beyond the question. I think
Speaker 1: is like the best kind of guest you can get.
Speaker 2: So when you're interviewing.
Speaker 3: Them and they answer and they're just like smiling at
Speaker 3: the end, it's like make it more of a conversation,
Speaker 3: loosen up a little bit, you know.
Speaker 1: I agree, like yes, anding, yes, Okay. Most overused podcast
Speaker 1: phrase that you hear probably everything that I say.
Speaker 3: Everyone's been asking. It's more of an influencer thing, but probably.
Speaker 1: That your personal podcast pet peeve.
Speaker 3: I hate when someone has a guest on and they
Speaker 3: ask all the same questions if they've been ask a
Speaker 3: million times, Like if you're asking a question you can google, like,
Speaker 3: you should not be doing that.
Speaker 1: One guest that made you totally rethink something.
Speaker 3: Susie Welch your go to listen World Tres's podcast my
Speaker 3: all time favorite.
Speaker 2: I've like never missed an episode.
Speaker 1: Okay, one more host thing is this is just social
Speaker 1: this or that charcouterie board or full sit down meal,
Speaker 1: full sit down meal, game night or deep conversation.
Speaker 3: Deep conversation, please my god, man game nights unless it's Mojong.
Speaker 1: Gold flatware or vintage silver, vintage silver, wine and records,
Speaker 1: or Espresso Martinis in a playlist.
Speaker 2: Now espresso Martini is in a playlist host with a
Speaker 2: plan or host on vibes host with a plan.
Speaker 1: Take your shoes off or leave them on.
Speaker 3: Because I personally don't care at all that people have
Speaker 3: shoes on, but I think it's more comfortable and people
Speaker 3: take them off.
Speaker 1: Fresh flowers or candle overload, kindle overload, instagram lebill set
Speaker 1: up or cozy chaos.
Speaker 2: It's turo will set up. I guess Cosey chaos is
Speaker 2: just like you being a lazy host. And as we
Speaker 2: know from the art of gathering, you don't want that.
Speaker 1: No, you don't want to be a chill host.
Speaker 2: You know what. I love that she said in that book.
Speaker 3: Tell me, I am gonna misquote it, as I do
Speaker 3: literally everything that anyone's ever said in their life. She
Speaker 3: talks earlier on in the book about how you actually
Speaker 3: need to be exclusive and not invite everyone. I have
Speaker 3: noticed in myself that I've done at the service to
Speaker 3: my guests many times by inviting either too many people
Speaker 3: or being too welcoming, and I should have curated the
Speaker 3: crowd a little bit better. And I've learned that now
Speaker 3: at his table that I have handcrafted and the people
Speaker 3: that are invited are invited for a reason because I
Speaker 3: think that like one of them would like the other person,
Speaker 3: or they could learn something from each other, or they're
Speaker 3: in similar field, or they read similar books. Like who
Speaker 3: I invite to each dinner party is like a perfectly
Speaker 3: crafted thing, and I will not be inviting to everyone
Speaker 3: to everything anymore, because I think that that is like
Speaker 3: a side of a lazy host and I've been a
Speaker 3: lazy host.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's lazy because I think you and
Speaker 1: I share this. We don't like people feeling left out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so it's a more like a come one, come all.
Speaker 1: But when you're hosting a specific theme, it's hard.
Speaker 3: Totally and it makes people just like not as committed
Speaker 3: to like the night because they're like, oh, come and go,
Speaker 3: and it's like, no, it's not come and go, it's
Speaker 3: see to dinner at seven thirty. Like I said, Yo,
Speaker 3: Like I'm really jellou swear, how do you really feel?
Speaker 3: That's the only time that I'm like actually uptight because
Speaker 3: it's disrespectful of everyone else's time.
Speaker 2: Like that's what makes me mad.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day.
Speaker 1: To have a good day. I'll see you next week.