Speaker 1: There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which
Speaker 1: is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more
Speaker 1: present and self aware, more patient, less judgmental. We discuss
Speaker 1: all these themes on the podcast, but it's hard to
Speaker 1: actually be mindful in your day to day life. That's
Speaker 1: where Calm comes in. I've been working with Calm for
Speaker 1: a few years now with the goal of making mindfulness
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Speaker 1: Calm your Mind, Change your life. How long you've known
Speaker 1: someone does not define how deeply you know them. So
Speaker 1: often I find that the people who are closest are
Speaker 1: sometimes the most distant because they're scared or blocked by
Speaker 1: fear of judgment to share how they truly feel.
Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Setty, Jay Shetty,
Speaker 2: Only J shet.
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Welcome back to On Purpose. Welcome to On
Speaker 1: Purpose of twenty twenty four. I am so happy with
Speaker 1: the incredible listening, viewing, sharing insights that you're pouring into
Speaker 1: social media. And it's been phenomenal for me to see
Speaker 1: your response to our new branding, our new logo.
Speaker 2: I hope that you love it.
Speaker 1: We wanted to create something natural and organic that really
Speaker 1: brought to life what we uncover here, which is for
Speaker 1: each and every one of you who give me your
Speaker 1: precious time every week to feel seen, heard and understood.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for all the reviews on Apple
Speaker 1: and on Spotify. I read them regularly and they genuinely
Speaker 1: touched my heart and move my heart, and I just
Speaker 1: want to say thank you.
Speaker 2: I appreciate you deeply.
Speaker 1: I have been spending the first couple of weeks at
Speaker 1: the ushroom that I trained at during my time as
Speaker 1: a monk in India, and it has been a beautiful
Speaker 1: time for me to go deeper, for me to immerse,
Speaker 1: for me to truly absorb the energy that I want
Speaker 1: for the rest of the year to give to all
Speaker 1: of you, to share with all of you. I was
Speaker 1: here with Radi, then she had to leave. I was
Speaker 1: here with some friends, and it allowed me to make
Speaker 1: space in my mind and heart to have the reflections
Speaker 1: and the realizations that allow me to give through on purpose.
Speaker 1: And today I want to share with you and talk
Speaker 1: to you about the five types of relationships we need
Speaker 1: in our life and how to let go and make
Speaker 1: space for the ones that no longer serve us in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. Relationships are at the heart of our effectiveness,
Speaker 1: our performance, our habits are conditioning our trauma, and we
Speaker 1: often don't take an order of our relationships. We don't
Speaker 1: often think about them deeply, or if we do, we
Speaker 1: do so in a crisis right We wait for something
Speaker 1: to go completely wrong to think about how to improve
Speaker 1: our relationships.
Speaker 2: This podcast is for you.
Speaker 1: If you want your relationships in twenty twenty four to
Speaker 1: uplift you and you want to uplift others. If you
Speaker 1: want your relationships to be ones that bring you energy,
Speaker 1: not drain new energy, this podcast is for you. So
Speaker 1: share this with someone who's also been trying to create communities,
Speaker 1: someone who's been trying to figure out ways of building
Speaker 1: d put bonds in deeper relationships. If you want to
Speaker 1: go beyond the shallow, this is the episode for you. Now.
Speaker 1: I'm going to break this down as the five types
Speaker 1: of relationships we need.
Speaker 2: The first one is belonging.
Speaker 1: We need to feel a sense of connectedness to others
Speaker 1: and a sense of belonging, that we're a part of
Speaker 1: a group, that we're not alone, that we're part of
Speaker 1: a community. And I think this is true for all
Speaker 1: of us, right We really crave being a part of
Speaker 1: a group of people who make us realize that we
Speaker 1: have similar challenges, similar problems, we're going through similar things
Speaker 1: in our lives. We feel a sense of the ability
Speaker 1: to focus on the fact that we're not the exception,
Speaker 1: but we are having a similar life experience to others,
Speaker 1: and that's hope giving for us. There's a study that
Speaker 1: shares that when humans feel they belong it tends to
Speaker 1: create inner harmony and balance. Research has shown that feeling
Speaker 1: part of a group can lead to better mental and
Speaker 1: physical health for instant individuals who feel a sense of
Speaker 1: belonging experience fewer negative emotions such as sadness, loneliness, anger,
Speaker 1: and grief. And I'm sure we're all listening to that
Speaker 1: saying Jay, I want that, And I think we often
Speaker 1: think of like I need friends and I want people
Speaker 1: around me. But the word belonging is a really interesting
Speaker 1: word because we don't often use it right. We don't
Speaker 1: often say I really wish I had a sense of belonging,
Speaker 1: or maybe you do and you're already getting it right.
Speaker 1: But when you look at the definition of the word belonging,
Speaker 1: it often refers to to be a member of a
Speaker 1: group or organization and to have a right or usual place.
Speaker 1: And what I like about the idea of being a
Speaker 1: member is that we can practically think about it. What
Speaker 1: communities are we a member of? What organization or group
Speaker 1: do we subscribe to? Do we have a sense of
Speaker 1: identity that comes from our belonging And it's really that
Speaker 1: identity part that makes the difference. Do we feel that
Speaker 1: part of identity is inspired by a group of thinking?
Speaker 2: I really want you.
Speaker 1: To focus in twenty twenty four on recognizing what groups,
Speaker 1: what communities do you need to invest more in? Is
Speaker 1: it groups in communities that exist out there? Is it
Speaker 1: a group in community you need to build. I want
Speaker 1: to give you an example, and I think this may
Speaker 1: resonate with many of you. I have been a part
Speaker 1: of several groups since I was young, and recently I
Speaker 1: was thinking about a lot of my male friends, and
Speaker 1: when I've had one to one conversations or I've spoken
Speaker 1: to other men in my community, I often am exposed
Speaker 1: to their challenges and issues, and I notice that as
Speaker 1: a group we may be struggling to heal that there
Speaker 1: are certain traumas individually that are now being experienced collectively.
Speaker 1: But there has been a nostalgic historic friendship, but it
Speaker 1: hasn't translated into an intimacy and trust. Now there's the
Speaker 1: trust of, hey, we can do things together, we can
Speaker 1: build things together, but there isn't the trust of I
Speaker 1: need to look at some of the things that are
Speaker 1: broken within me. There's the focus of we want to
Speaker 1: build outside of ourselves, but we don't want to build
Speaker 1: what's broken inside of ourselves. There's the energy of let's
Speaker 1: go and do things and create things together, but there
Speaker 1: isn't a sense of I need to spend some time
Speaker 1: becoming and being. And so I was thinking about this.
Speaker 1: One of the things that I want to do to
Speaker 1: create belonging is I want to create a men's group
Speaker 1: with some of my friends that I grew up with,
Speaker 1: and I want to invite therapists and coaches and guides
Speaker 1: and teachers to come in and facilitate sessions for us,
Speaker 1: not only so that we can do our own healing,
Speaker 1: but so that we can deepen our relationships with each other.
Speaker 2: It's normal.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter how long you've known someone. How long
Speaker 1: you've known someone does not define how deeply you know them.
Speaker 1: You may know their mannerisms, you may know their reactions,
Speaker 1: but the depth of their heart. So often I find
Speaker 1: that the people who are closest are sometimes the most
Speaker 1: distant because they're scared or blocked by fear of judgment
Speaker 1: to share how they truly feel. And I'm sure you
Speaker 1: can relate to that, that you want to share something
Speaker 1: with your friend, but you know you can't because you're
Speaker 1: scared of the shame, the guilt, the potential judgment. And
Speaker 1: it's not that you think that person thinks wrong of you,
Speaker 1: but there's a part of you that judges yourself. And
Speaker 1: so to me, I really believe that I always want
Speaker 1: to live by Gandhi's words of being the change I
Speaker 1: want to see in the world and creating an environment
Speaker 1: where me and my male friends can have a safe
Speaker 1: space to feel secure, to open up, to share our
Speaker 1: challenges in a place that isn't based on judgment. If
Speaker 1: you share your heart and you feel judged, do you
Speaker 1: open or close up? If you share your heart and
Speaker 1: you feel judged, do you open up again? If you
Speaker 1: share your heart and the other person uses that information
Speaker 1: against you in the future, does it mean you'll have
Speaker 1: a relationship with them in the future. So I want
Speaker 1: you to think about belonging as beyond like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I go to that thing, Oh yeah, I know that.
Speaker 1: Look for the real need in your group, the need
Speaker 1: in your community. What are people starving off, what are
Speaker 1: people unfulfilled by and where is that coming from? And
Speaker 1: how can you introduce that sense of belonging. Belonging isn't
Speaker 1: just about hanging out and supporting the same football team,
Speaker 1: And that's an important part of it, but there's a
Speaker 1: greater depth to it that I think.
Speaker 2: We're all searching for.
Speaker 1: Do you need to start that book club, do you
Speaker 1: need to start that podcast club? What are you going
Speaker 1: to do to sit there and discuss this and say, hey, like,
Speaker 1: what are we going to start for our community? I
Speaker 1: shared with you what I want to do for mine,
Speaker 1: what are you going to do for yours? So there's
Speaker 1: a sense of belonging. It's a relationship that's really important
Speaker 1: in our lives. The next one is legacy. Now, legacy
Speaker 1: often is something people think about, like what will happen
Speaker 1: when I, you know, die and I'm no longer here
Speaker 1: and what will be my legacy? And really legacy is
Speaker 1: about feeling connected to something bigger. Do we have relationships
Speaker 1: that make us feel that we're all connected to something bigger.
Speaker 1: Belonging is we're all connected more deeply, We're all connected
Speaker 1: more deeper. But legacy is we're all connected to something bigger.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: When I was in London at the start of the year,
Speaker 1: just before I came to India, I reached out to
Speaker 1: some of my friends and people who've been incredible guests
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Some of them could come, some of
Speaker 1: them couldn't, and I organized a dinner in London where
Speaker 1: we sat down and we answered three questions. So these
Speaker 1: were people in the wellness space, people who I think
Speaker 1: are having an impact in the world. People who are
Speaker 1: transforming other people's lives through their skill sets and what
Speaker 1: they know. And I'll even share with you what I
Speaker 1: called it. I said, this is the message I sent
Speaker 1: to them. I said, community has been the most important
Speaker 1: pillar in my life. I'm sure you've experienced that too,
Speaker 1: especially communities that are dedicated to creating change, inspiring people,
Speaker 1: and helping others. I'm grateful for the work you do
Speaker 1: in the world and thought it might be nice to
Speaker 1: be together with more purposeful people to celebrate growth, exchange ideas,
Speaker 1: and hopefully leave with new friends. I really hope you
Speaker 1: can make it. And then it said the address and
Speaker 1: the time and all the rest of it. And what
Speaker 1: was really interesting for me is that a lot of
Speaker 1: these people aren't people that I've spent that much time
Speaker 1: offline with. I'm friendly with them, but we're not friends yet.
Speaker 1: The people I've sat with on a podcast and had
Speaker 1: an exhilarating conversation, but we don't have a deep offline relationship.
Speaker 2: So I set up this dinner.
Speaker 1: Around seventy five percent of the people could come because
Speaker 1: they're in town, and some other people couldn't come. There
Speaker 1: were some of people that you recognize, and some other
Speaker 1: people that are discovering their voice and finding their way
Speaker 1: and building their platform. And everyone came for a dinner.
Speaker 1: And what was really really beautiful about the dinner is
Speaker 1: we focused on three questions. And by the way, like
Speaker 1: I said, none of us had really had many deep
Speaker 1: offline conversations.
Speaker 2: Before, so three questions.
Speaker 1: The first question was what is being your biggest personal
Speaker 1: or professional win of twenty twenty three. The second question
Speaker 1: was what has been your biggest challenge personally or professionally
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty three? And the third question, how can
Speaker 1: the people at this table help you? What support can
Speaker 1: they offer you? I honestly was mind blown. I was
Speaker 1: completely in awe of this wonderful group of people who
Speaker 1: I believe are leaving an incredible legacy. In that room,
Speaker 1: I felt connected to something bigger because each one of
Speaker 1: those people has dedicated their life and work towards helping
Speaker 1: people physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And each person openly
Speaker 1: shared their flaws, their challenges, their mistakes, their roadblocks, things
Speaker 1: they were coming up against, and open themselves up in
Speaker 1: front of a group of people that externally all have,
Speaker 1: of course incredible lives. But there was so much trust
Speaker 1: in the room. Sometimes we go so insular with the
Speaker 1: belonging of our friends that we miss out on legacy relationships.
Speaker 1: Who in your life would you love to spend more
Speaker 1: time with because you think you share the same legacy
Speaker 1: even if you don't have the same belonging. It may
Speaker 1: be someone from a different spiritual group, a different yoga class,
Speaker 1: a different fitness perspective, a different friends circle, but having
Speaker 1: just one dinner with them. And honestly, I was so
Speaker 1: happy I did it because I was going back and
Speaker 1: forth because I was worried. I was like, if I
Speaker 1: said this dinner up, is everyone going to think I
Speaker 1: have some agenda or there's something I want to promote.
Speaker 1: And because I wasn't, It wasn't about that. It was
Speaker 1: truly about deep relationships. And I'm so glad I did
Speaker 1: it because I got so many responses saying, Jay, that
Speaker 1: was one of the best inners I've ever been to.
Speaker 1: And I'm feeling so connected to that community now, and
Speaker 1: it's a legacy community. I know that each one of
Speaker 1: those people is inspiring me by the way they live.
Speaker 1: And again, like I said, these aren't the people I'm
Speaker 1: seeing every week, They're not the people I'm speaking to
Speaker 1: every day, but now we actually have a WhatsApp group
Speaker 1: to stay connected throughout the year, which I love, so
Speaker 1: connected to something bigger. The third one independence a relationship
Speaker 1: with ourself, autonomy, and personal usefulness. Our relationship with ourselves
Speaker 1: is a really important relationship in twenty twenty four. A
Speaker 1: sense of autonomy, a sense of feeling like I have value,
Speaker 1: I know what my use is. And the biggest question
Speaker 1: I would ask you to ask yourself or ask your
Speaker 1: friends is not what do I need to do in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four?
Speaker 2: But who am I becoming in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: I find that we put so much effort into doing
Speaker 1: and thinking about what to do right We're like, I
Speaker 1: want to do this thing, and I want to do
Speaker 1: that thing, and I want to do this thing, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden we're so lost in doing that
Speaker 1: we don't like who we're becoming. Or we start doing
Speaker 1: and we fail, and then we don't like who we're becoming.
Speaker 1: Who you want to become is the most important question
Speaker 1: you'll ever answer. I want to become someone who uses
Speaker 1: all my skills, all my gifts, all my abilities in
Speaker 1: the service of others. I want to live an abundant life.
Speaker 1: I want to become an abundant person who wants to
Speaker 1: share whatever I receive with everyone I meet. That is
Speaker 1: the person I want to become, and for that, I
Speaker 1: want to be fully abundant. I want to be fully open.
Speaker 1: I want to be fully magnetic and attracting so that
Speaker 1: I can serve and share and give more.
Speaker 2: I want to be that person. That's who I'm becoming.
Speaker 1: And if I think about that through, I want to
Speaker 1: do a podcast, I want to do a book, I
Speaker 1: want to do this. Then we get so lost in
Speaker 1: the doing that we don't We often lose the drive
Speaker 1: or lose the impetus from where that first came. So
Speaker 1: I'm always reminding myself who I'm becoming, because if I
Speaker 1: like who I'm becoming, I'm going to keep going. But
Speaker 1: if I don't like who I'm becoming, that's when I'm
Speaker 1: going to allow stress, anxiety, depression to rule me, because
Speaker 1: if I don't like who I'm becoming, that's what's making
Speaker 1: me feel discouraged. So I want you to ask yourself,
Speaker 1: who do you want to become? Who are you becoming?
Speaker 1: And what is that independent, autonomous path that you're building
Speaker 1: and trying to take because you know that that's going
Speaker 1: to lead to your higher self. What is that independent
Speaker 1: desire that you have of who you want to become?
Speaker 1: Often we're being and becoming everything that everyone wants us
Speaker 1: to become. I'm sure you've experienced that. You have to
Speaker 1: be disciplined for your kids, you have to be organized
Speaker 1: for your partner, you have to be all these things
Speaker 1: for everyone else.
Speaker 2: You have to be focused for your boss. Who do
Speaker 2: you want to become? And how do you want to
Speaker 2: take that into work?
Speaker 1: Take that into your life because guess what, If you're
Speaker 1: happy with who you're becoming and then you're taking that
Speaker 1: energy into the workplace, I promise you it will illuminate
Speaker 1: your world in a way that nothing else will. If
Speaker 1: you know who you want to become, and you demonstrate
Speaker 1: and share and radiate that energy everywhere you go, you'll
Speaker 1: actually never be asked to be anything else.
Speaker 2: That's what I've realized.
Speaker 1: We only get asked to become things that we don't
Speaker 1: want because we're not sharing the deepest parts of ourselves.
Speaker 1: If you don't share who you are, people will tell
Speaker 1: you who they want you to be.
Speaker 2: Right, let me say that again. I hope that here.
Speaker 2: If you don't share who you are, people will expect
Speaker 2: you to be who they want you to be.
Speaker 1: Who are you becoming? Who are you growing into? I
Speaker 1: think we all want to feel a sense of autonomy, right,
Speaker 1: and we don't always get that work. We don't get
Speaker 1: that autonomy. Sometimes we are being micromanaged or whatever it
Speaker 1: may be. But the autonomy isn't what we do. The
Speaker 1: autonomy is who we are and how we do it
Speaker 1: and why we do it. We get so wrapped up
Speaker 1: and I do therefore I am. We get so wrapped
Speaker 1: up in that our occupation is our life, that our
Speaker 1: title defines us. When you say to someone, who are you? Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm a accountant, I graduated from this place. I'm from
Speaker 1: this place.
Speaker 2: But who are you? And who are you becoming? Or
Speaker 2: who are you becoming?
Speaker 1: The fourth type of relationship we need in twenty twenty
Speaker 1: four is the safety relationships. This may actually only be
Speaker 1: one or two people, the people that bring stability and
Speaker 1: security into our life. Now, these people may not be
Speaker 1: the people that we belong with in a group. They
Speaker 1: may not be our legacy partners. They may not, of
Speaker 1: course be the independence. They're the people that we feel
Speaker 1: the deepest and safest with.
Speaker 2: You only need.
Speaker 1: One person in your life to do this with, and
Speaker 1: you want to invest in that one person in a
Speaker 1: deep way. There's some beautiful research that I've read about
Speaker 1: on headheartbrain dot com and it talked about how the
Speaker 1: researcher named Zach started out looking at morality and thought
Speaker 1: that oxytocin might be an element in morality. He focused
Speaker 1: on trust as a more tangible element to study. He
Speaker 1: and his colleagues carried out research to understand how the
Speaker 1: human brain determines when to trust someone and when not
Speaker 1: to trust someone. How many of you have dealt with
Speaker 1: this before? Right, Participants took part in the trust game,
Speaker 1: designed to study individual's propensity to be trusting and to
Speaker 1: be trustworthy. In his experiments, participants oxytocin levels were monitored
Speaker 1: throughout the study. The research has found that when participants
Speaker 1: felt they were trusted, their brains responded by producing oxytocin.
Speaker 1: When participants has shown increased levels of trust, their brain
Speaker 1: produced even more oftocin. Most significant, however, was the finding
Speaker 1: that the rise in oxytocin levels resulted in participants' behavior
Speaker 1: being more trustworthy. The researchers conclude that people who feel
Speaker 1: trusted become more trustworthy as a result of increased oxytocin
Speaker 1: levels in their brains. Zach calls this oxytocin the trust molecule. Now,
Speaker 1: he goes on to say there are differences in brain
Speaker 1: activity depending on whether people trust conditionally or unconditionally. If
Speaker 1: people trust each other based on certain conditions being met,
Speaker 1: like delivering a project on timekeeping or keeping commitments, the
Speaker 1: brain's rewards centers activates unconditional trust activates the septal area.
Speaker 1: Some very recent study, he says, has found a darker
Speaker 1: side to oxytocin and one that leaders in HR need
Speaker 1: to be cognizant of. The research from Northwestern University in
Speaker 1: the USA found that it can increase emotional pain. Oxytocin
Speaker 1: seems to be the reasons stressful social situations like having
Speaker 1: a bullying boss or extreme stress in a team, have
Speaker 1: an impact long after they occur and can trigger fear
Speaker 1: and anxiety long past the event. This is because the
Speaker 1: hormone strengthens the social memory in a specific region of
Speaker 1: a brain. Now, the reason I'm sharing that with you
Speaker 1: is this idea that we want to build trust, but
Speaker 1: trust is built over time and Trust is not only
Speaker 1: built over time, it's built over depth of experience. And
Speaker 1: the way I look at trust is do I know
Speaker 1: someone three sixty Have I spent time with people in
Speaker 1: three sixty degree varying situations? If I have not, then
Speaker 1: I don't really fully trust that person. So have I
Speaker 1: seen them happy? Have I seen them excited? Have I
Speaker 1: seen them stressed? Have I seen them angry? I can
Speaker 1: actually give you a list of emotions that will help
Speaker 1: you understand whether you fully trust someone. Now that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you go make them angry to see if you
Speaker 1: trust them when they're angry. But the point is you're
Speaker 1: always building trust like little building blocks, rather than this
Speaker 1: black and white idea if I trust you or I
Speaker 1: don't trust you. So you want to almost say have
Speaker 1: I seen this person happy? Have I seen this person excited?
Speaker 1: Have I seen this person nervous? And it's not that
Speaker 1: you're deciding whether you trust them or not. You're actually
Speaker 1: creating what is known as specific trust, the idea of
Speaker 1: I trust you in this set of circumstances. And that's
Speaker 1: a healthier way to live because we don't feel let down,
Speaker 1: we don't feel undervalued, we don't feel misled. Or misguided
Speaker 1: by this person, but we actually feel elated by recognizing
Speaker 1: I know when to trust this person. I'm aware of
Speaker 1: when to trust this person. I really want you to
Speaker 1: think about who the people in your life. And like
Speaker 1: I said, you only need one or two of these people.
Speaker 1: That's your midnight friend. The friend you know you can
Speaker 1: call it midnight, connect with them, talk to each other,
Speaker 1: share your pains. The friend you can call it midnight
Speaker 1: and they will drive to you and turn up. The
Speaker 1: person you can call at midnight and share that and
Speaker 1: you don't abuse it, and you don't abuse it with
Speaker 1: each other either. And I just want you to really
Speaker 1: reflect on which relationships you want to invest in more.
Speaker 1: I think we think about our relationships just always being there,
Speaker 1: and I think about relationships as plants in a garden.
Speaker 1: If you don't water a certain relationship, it will die,
Speaker 1: it will wither, it will not have any flowers, it
Speaker 1: won't have any fruits. But if you're watering a part
Speaker 1: of your garden, it will grow, it will be lost,
Speaker 1: you will be abundant.
Speaker 2: So for you, what is that? Where is that?
Speaker 1: Who is that?
Speaker 2: And finally, we need.
Speaker 1: Relationships that are based on surrender and service. Who are
Speaker 1: we serving? Who are we taking care of? I remember
Speaker 1: the monastery, we'd always talk about this idea of twenty
Speaker 1: percent seniors, twenty percent juniors, and sixty percent peers. This
Speaker 1: idea that twenty percent of your time is serving senior people,
Speaker 1: twenty percent of your time is taking care of junior people,
Speaker 1: and sixty percent of your time is spent with your
Speaker 1: peers sharing this energy. And so if you look at
Speaker 1: the five things that I've shared, I've tried to make
Speaker 1: it that way. The belonging may include you to guides
Speaker 1: and teachers who uplift you. The surrender may be that
Speaker 1: energy where you're giving out. And then the legacy, the independence,
Speaker 1: and the safety is what you need. So you can
Speaker 1: notice how that twenty sixty twenty rule breaks down. And
Speaker 1: I want you to remember that twenty sixty twenty twenty
Speaker 1: percent of your time with people who are guiding you,
Speaker 1: sixty percent of your time with people who are peers
Speaker 1: with you, who you feel uplifted by and you uplift,
Speaker 1: and then twenty percent of time with people you're serving,
Speaker 1: people you're giving to. You always want to be a
Speaker 1: teacher and a student at the same time. It creates
Speaker 1: humility and it creates proactivity twenty sixty twenty rule. I
Speaker 1: want you to remember this rule when you're building your relationships.
Speaker 1: I actually want you to list who you see every week,
Speaker 1: who you see every month, and I want you to
Speaker 1: figure out who sits in which category and whichever you
Speaker 1: have a weakness in or a deficiency in. It's not
Speaker 1: about sitting there and going, oh, I don't have anyone
Speaker 1: in my life to guide me, or I don't have
Speaker 1: anyone in my life to share. Go and find them,
Speaker 1: Go and build them, go and create them. And if
Speaker 1: you're really following along, well, this five step model spelled bliss, belonging, legacy, independence, safety,
Speaker 1: and surrender in twenty twenty four. I want you to
Speaker 1: experience bliss. I want you to experience so much belonging.
Speaker 1: I want you to feel connected to a legacy. I
Speaker 1: want you to experience independence. I want you to have
Speaker 1: safety and security, and I want you to feel the
Speaker 1: benefits of surrender and service. Who are you helping? Who
Speaker 1: are you reaching out to? Our cultures become so much
Speaker 1: about no one reaches out to me, no one helps me.
Speaker 1: Who are we reaching out to? Who are we lending
Speaker 1: a helping hand to?
Speaker 2: I know you are.
Speaker 1: I know our community is made up of all of
Speaker 1: you want to make an impact on the world, and
Speaker 1: I want you to keep discovering that. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for listening to on Purpose. I hope this episode
Speaker 1: helps you deeply this year and transforms your relationships, knowing
Speaker 1: who to let go of and who to grow with.
Speaker 1: Sending you so much love with all my love and gratitude,
Speaker 1: thank you for listening to On Purpose. Leave a review,
Speaker 1: if you can follow us on social media, share the episodes,
Speaker 1: and I can't wait for you to listen to your
Speaker 1: next episode. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy
Speaker 1: my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic
Speaker 1: and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.
Speaker 2: My fears are only going to continue to show me
Speaker 2: what I'm capable of.
Speaker 1: The more that I face my fears, the more that
Speaker 1: I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I
Speaker 1: just want to keep doing that.