1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 1: There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: present and self aware, more patient, less judgmental. We discuss 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: all these themes on the podcast, but it's hard to 5 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: actually be mindful in your day to day life. That's 6 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: where Calm comes in. I've been working with Calm for 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: a few years now with the goal of making mindfulness 8 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: fun and easy. Calm has all sorts of content to 9 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: help you build positive habits, shift yourself, talk, reframe your 10 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: negative thoughts, and generally feel better in your daily life. 11 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: So many incredible options from the most knowledgeable experts in 12 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: the world, along with renowned meditation teachers. You can also 13 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: check out my seven minute daily series to help you 14 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: live more mindfully each and every day. Right now, listeners 15 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: of On Purpose get forty percent off a subscription to 16 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: Calmpremium at calm dot com forward slash j that's c 17 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: LM dot com forward slash Jay for forty percent off. 18 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: Calm your Mind, Change your life. How long you've known 19 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 1: someone does not define how deeply you know them. So 20 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 1: often I find that the people who are closest are 21 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,479 Speaker 1: sometimes the most distant because they're scared or blocked by 22 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,479 Speaker 1: fear of judgment to share how they truly feel. 23 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Setty, Jay Shetty, 24 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 2: Only J shet. 25 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Welcome back to On Purpose. Welcome to On 26 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: Purpose of twenty twenty four. I am so happy with 27 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: the incredible listening, viewing, sharing insights that you're pouring into 28 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: social media. And it's been phenomenal for me to see 29 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: your response to our new branding, our new logo. 30 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 2: I hope that you love it. 31 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: We wanted to create something natural and organic that really 32 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: brought to life what we uncover here, which is for 33 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: each and every one of you who give me your 34 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: precious time every week to feel seen, heard and understood. 35 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for all the reviews on Apple 36 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: and on Spotify. I read them regularly and they genuinely 37 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: touched my heart and move my heart, and I just 38 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:15,799 Speaker 1: want to say thank you. 39 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:16,919 Speaker 2: I appreciate you deeply. 40 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: I have been spending the first couple of weeks at 41 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 1: the ushroom that I trained at during my time as 42 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,920 Speaker 1: a monk in India, and it has been a beautiful 43 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: time for me to go deeper, for me to immerse, 44 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: for me to truly absorb the energy that I want 45 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 1: for the rest of the year to give to all 46 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: of you, to share with all of you. I was 47 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: here with Radi, then she had to leave. I was 48 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: here with some friends, and it allowed me to make 49 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: space in my mind and heart to have the reflections 50 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: and the realizations that allow me to give through on purpose. 51 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 1: And today I want to share with you and talk 52 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: to you about the five types of relationships we need 53 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,799 Speaker 1: in our life and how to let go and make 54 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 1: space for the ones that no longer serve us in 55 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. Relationships are at the heart of our effectiveness, 56 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:21,239 Speaker 1: our performance, our habits are conditioning our trauma, and we 57 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: often don't take an order of our relationships. We don't 58 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:30,239 Speaker 1: often think about them deeply, or if we do, we 59 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: do so in a crisis right We wait for something 60 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: to go completely wrong to think about how to improve 61 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: our relationships. 62 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 2: This podcast is for you. 63 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: If you want your relationships in twenty twenty four to 64 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: uplift you and you want to uplift others. If you 65 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 1: want your relationships to be ones that bring you energy, 66 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: not drain new energy, this podcast is for you. So 67 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: share this with someone who's also been trying to create communities, 68 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: someone who's been trying to figure out ways of building 69 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: d put bonds in deeper relationships. If you want to 70 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 1: go beyond the shallow, this is the episode for you. Now. 71 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to break this down as the five types 72 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,839 Speaker 1: of relationships we need. 73 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 2: The first one is belonging. 74 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: We need to feel a sense of connectedness to others 75 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 1: and a sense of belonging, that we're a part of 76 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: a group, that we're not alone, that we're part of 77 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: a community. And I think this is true for all 78 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: of us, right We really crave being a part of 79 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: a group of people who make us realize that we 80 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,679 Speaker 1: have similar challenges, similar problems, we're going through similar things 81 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: in our lives. We feel a sense of the ability 82 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 1: to focus on the fact that we're not the exception, 83 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: but we are having a similar life experience to others, 84 00:04:56,839 --> 00:05:00,160 Speaker 1: and that's hope giving for us. There's a study that 85 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 1: shares that when humans feel they belong it tends to 86 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: create inner harmony and balance. Research has shown that feeling 87 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: part of a group can lead to better mental and 88 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: physical health for instant individuals who feel a sense of 89 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 1: belonging experience fewer negative emotions such as sadness, loneliness, anger, 90 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: and grief. And I'm sure we're all listening to that 91 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 1: saying Jay, I want that, And I think we often 92 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: think of like I need friends and I want people 93 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 1: around me. But the word belonging is a really interesting 94 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 1: word because we don't often use it right. We don't 95 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: often say I really wish I had a sense of belonging, 96 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: or maybe you do and you're already getting it right. 97 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 1: But when you look at the definition of the word belonging, 98 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: it often refers to to be a member of a 99 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: group or organization and to have a right or usual place. 100 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: And what I like about the idea of being a 101 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: member is that we can practically think about it. What 102 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 1: communities are we a member of? What organization or group 103 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: do we subscribe to? Do we have a sense of 104 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 1: identity that comes from our belonging And it's really that 105 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: identity part that makes the difference. Do we feel that 106 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: part of identity is inspired by a group of thinking? 107 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 2: I really want you. 108 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: To focus in twenty twenty four on recognizing what groups, 109 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: what communities do you need to invest more in? Is 110 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,680 Speaker 1: it groups in communities that exist out there? Is it 111 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: a group in community you need to build. I want 112 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: to give you an example, and I think this may 113 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: resonate with many of you. I have been a part 114 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 1: of several groups since I was young, and recently I 115 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,040 Speaker 1: was thinking about a lot of my male friends, and 116 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,479 Speaker 1: when I've had one to one conversations or I've spoken 117 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 1: to other men in my community, I often am exposed 118 00:06:54,440 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 1: to their challenges and issues, and I notice that as 119 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: a group we may be struggling to heal that there 120 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 1: are certain traumas individually that are now being experienced collectively. 121 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: But there has been a nostalgic historic friendship, but it 122 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: hasn't translated into an intimacy and trust. Now there's the 123 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: trust of, hey, we can do things together, we can 124 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 1: build things together, but there isn't the trust of I 125 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: need to look at some of the things that are 126 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: broken within me. There's the focus of we want to 127 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: build outside of ourselves, but we don't want to build 128 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: what's broken inside of ourselves. There's the energy of let's 129 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: go and do things and create things together, but there 130 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: isn't a sense of I need to spend some time 131 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: becoming and being. And so I was thinking about this. 132 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: One of the things that I want to do to 133 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: create belonging is I want to create a men's group 134 00:07:58,320 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: with some of my friends that I grew up with, 135 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: and I want to invite therapists and coaches and guides 136 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 1: and teachers to come in and facilitate sessions for us, 137 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: not only so that we can do our own healing, 138 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: but so that we can deepen our relationships with each other. 139 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 2: It's normal. 140 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter how long you've known someone. How long 141 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 1: you've known someone does not define how deeply you know them. 142 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: You may know their mannerisms, you may know their reactions, 143 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: but the depth of their heart. So often I find 144 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: that the people who are closest are sometimes the most 145 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 1: distant because they're scared or blocked by fear of judgment 146 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: to share how they truly feel. And I'm sure you 147 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: can relate to that, that you want to share something 148 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: with your friend, but you know you can't because you're 149 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: scared of the shame, the guilt, the potential judgment. And 150 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: it's not that you think that person thinks wrong of you, 151 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,079 Speaker 1: but there's a part of you that judges yourself. And 152 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,319 Speaker 1: so to me, I really believe that I always want 153 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 1: to live by Gandhi's words of being the change I 154 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: want to see in the world and creating an environment 155 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: where me and my male friends can have a safe 156 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: space to feel secure, to open up, to share our 157 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,079 Speaker 1: challenges in a place that isn't based on judgment. If 158 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: you share your heart and you feel judged, do you 159 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: open or close up? If you share your heart and 160 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: you feel judged, do you open up again? If you 161 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: share your heart and the other person uses that information 162 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: against you in the future, does it mean you'll have 163 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,079 Speaker 1: a relationship with them in the future. So I want 164 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: you to think about belonging as beyond like, oh yeah, 165 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: I go to that thing, Oh yeah, I know that. 166 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: Look for the real need in your group, the need 167 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: in your community. What are people starving off, what are 168 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 1: people unfulfilled by and where is that coming from? And 169 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 1: how can you introduce that sense of belonging. Belonging isn't 170 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: just about hanging out and supporting the same football team, 171 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: And that's an important part of it, but there's a 172 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:08,120 Speaker 1: greater depth to it that I think. 173 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 2: We're all searching for. 174 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,319 Speaker 1: Do you need to start that book club, do you 175 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 1: need to start that podcast club? What are you going 176 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,959 Speaker 1: to do to sit there and discuss this and say, hey, like, 177 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 1: what are we going to start for our community? I 178 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: shared with you what I want to do for mine, 179 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 1: what are you going to do for yours? So there's 180 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: a sense of belonging. It's a relationship that's really important 181 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: in our lives. The next one is legacy. Now, legacy 182 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: often is something people think about, like what will happen 183 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 1: when I, you know, die and I'm no longer here 184 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,319 Speaker 1: and what will be my legacy? And really legacy is 185 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 1: about feeling connected to something bigger. Do we have relationships 186 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: that make us feel that we're all connected to something bigger. 187 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: Belonging is we're all connected more deeply, We're all connected 188 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: more deeper. But legacy is we're all connected to something bigger. 189 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 2: Now. 190 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: When I was in London at the start of the year, 191 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: just before I came to India, I reached out to 192 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: some of my friends and people who've been incredible guests 193 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,079 Speaker 1: on the podcast. Some of them could come, some of 194 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:20,440 Speaker 1: them couldn't, and I organized a dinner in London where 195 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,959 Speaker 1: we sat down and we answered three questions. So these 196 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 1: were people in the wellness space, people who I think 197 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,079 Speaker 1: are having an impact in the world. People who are 198 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,079 Speaker 1: transforming other people's lives through their skill sets and what 199 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: they know. And I'll even share with you what I 200 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,839 Speaker 1: called it. I said, this is the message I sent 201 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: to them. I said, community has been the most important 202 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: pillar in my life. I'm sure you've experienced that too, 203 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: especially communities that are dedicated to creating change, inspiring people, 204 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 1: and helping others. I'm grateful for the work you do 205 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,839 Speaker 1: in the world and thought it might be nice to 206 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:59,559 Speaker 1: be together with more purposeful people to celebrate growth, exchange ideas, 207 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: and hopefully leave with new friends. I really hope you 208 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,319 Speaker 1: can make it. And then it said the address and 209 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,079 Speaker 1: the time and all the rest of it. And what 210 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: was really interesting for me is that a lot of 211 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 1: these people aren't people that I've spent that much time 212 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: offline with. I'm friendly with them, but we're not friends yet. 213 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: The people I've sat with on a podcast and had 214 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: an exhilarating conversation, but we don't have a deep offline relationship. 215 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 2: So I set up this dinner. 216 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: Around seventy five percent of the people could come because 217 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,960 Speaker 1: they're in town, and some other people couldn't come. There 218 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: were some of people that you recognize, and some other 219 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: people that are discovering their voice and finding their way 220 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,319 Speaker 1: and building their platform. And everyone came for a dinner. 221 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 1: And what was really really beautiful about the dinner is 222 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,599 Speaker 1: we focused on three questions. And by the way, like 223 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 1: I said, none of us had really had many deep 224 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 1: offline conversations. 225 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 2: Before, so three questions. 226 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: The first question was what is being your biggest personal 227 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: or professional win of twenty twenty three. The second question 228 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: was what has been your biggest challenge personally or professionally 229 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: of twenty twenty three? And the third question, how can 230 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: the people at this table help you? What support can 231 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: they offer you? I honestly was mind blown. I was 232 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: completely in awe of this wonderful group of people who 233 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 1: I believe are leaving an incredible legacy. In that room, 234 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 1: I felt connected to something bigger because each one of 235 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:33,319 Speaker 1: those people has dedicated their life and work towards helping 236 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:40,679 Speaker 1: people physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And each person openly 237 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 1: shared their flaws, their challenges, their mistakes, their roadblocks, things 238 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 1: they were coming up against, and open themselves up in 239 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 1: front of a group of people that externally all have, 240 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,720 Speaker 1: of course incredible lives. But there was so much trust 241 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,959 Speaker 1: in the room. Sometimes we go so insular with the 242 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 1: belonging of our friends that we miss out on legacy relationships. 243 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 1: Who in your life would you love to spend more 244 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,720 Speaker 1: time with because you think you share the same legacy 245 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 1: even if you don't have the same belonging. It may 246 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: be someone from a different spiritual group, a different yoga class, 247 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 1: a different fitness perspective, a different friends circle, but having 248 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: just one dinner with them. And honestly, I was so 249 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: happy I did it because I was going back and 250 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 1: forth because I was worried. I was like, if I 251 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: said this dinner up, is everyone going to think I 252 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: have some agenda or there's something I want to promote. 253 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 1: And because I wasn't, It wasn't about that. It was 254 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 1: truly about deep relationships. And I'm so glad I did 255 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 1: it because I got so many responses saying, Jay, that 256 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 1: was one of the best inners I've ever been to. 257 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 1: And I'm feeling so connected to that community now, and 258 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 1: it's a legacy community. I know that each one of 259 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 1: those people is inspiring me by the way they live. 260 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 1: And again, like I said, these aren't the people I'm 261 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: seeing every week, They're not the people I'm speaking to 262 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: every day, but now we actually have a WhatsApp group 263 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: to stay connected throughout the year, which I love, so 264 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: connected to something bigger. The third one independence a relationship 265 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: with ourself, autonomy, and personal usefulness. Our relationship with ourselves 266 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: is a really important relationship in twenty twenty four. A 267 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 1: sense of autonomy, a sense of feeling like I have value, 268 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: I know what my use is. And the biggest question 269 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 1: I would ask you to ask yourself or ask your 270 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 1: friends is not what do I need to do in 271 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four? 272 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 2: But who am I becoming in twenty twenty four. 273 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: I find that we put so much effort into doing 274 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: and thinking about what to do right We're like, I 275 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 1: want to do this thing, and I want to do 276 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 1: that thing, and I want to do this thing, and 277 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 1: all of a sudden we're so lost in doing that 278 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: we don't like who we're becoming. Or we start doing 279 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 1: and we fail, and then we don't like who we're becoming. 280 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 1: Who you want to become is the most important question 281 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 1: you'll ever answer. I want to become someone who uses 282 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: all my skills, all my gifts, all my abilities in 283 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: the service of others. I want to live an abundant life. 284 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: I want to become an abundant person who wants to 285 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 1: share whatever I receive with everyone I meet. That is 286 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 1: the person I want to become, and for that, I 287 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: want to be fully abundant. I want to be fully open. 288 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: I want to be fully magnetic and attracting so that 289 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 1: I can serve and share and give more. 290 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 2: I want to be that person. That's who I'm becoming. 291 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: And if I think about that through, I want to 292 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: do a podcast, I want to do a book, I 293 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: want to do this. Then we get so lost in 294 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 1: the doing that we don't We often lose the drive 295 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: or lose the impetus from where that first came. So 296 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: I'm always reminding myself who I'm becoming, because if I 297 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 1: like who I'm becoming, I'm going to keep going. But 298 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: if I don't like who I'm becoming, that's when I'm 299 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:08,680 Speaker 1: going to allow stress, anxiety, depression to rule me, because 300 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: if I don't like who I'm becoming, that's what's making 301 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: me feel discouraged. So I want you to ask yourself, 302 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 1: who do you want to become? Who are you becoming? 303 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:23,959 Speaker 1: And what is that independent, autonomous path that you're building 304 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 1: and trying to take because you know that that's going 305 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 1: to lead to your higher self. What is that independent 306 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,440 Speaker 1: desire that you have of who you want to become? 307 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 1: Often we're being and becoming everything that everyone wants us 308 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 1: to become. I'm sure you've experienced that. You have to 309 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 1: be disciplined for your kids, you have to be organized 310 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: for your partner, you have to be all these things 311 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 1: for everyone else. 312 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 2: You have to be focused for your boss. Who do 313 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,359 Speaker 2: you want to become? And how do you want to 314 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,480 Speaker 2: take that into work? 315 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 1: Take that into your life because guess what, If you're 316 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 1: happy with who you're becoming and then you're taking that 317 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 1: energy into the workplace, I promise you it will illuminate 318 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: your world in a way that nothing else will. If 319 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 1: you know who you want to become, and you demonstrate 320 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 1: and share and radiate that energy everywhere you go, you'll 321 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: actually never be asked to be anything else. 322 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,160 Speaker 2: That's what I've realized. 323 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 1: We only get asked to become things that we don't 324 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:31,920 Speaker 1: want because we're not sharing the deepest parts of ourselves. 325 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:36,120 Speaker 1: If you don't share who you are, people will tell 326 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: you who they want you to be. 327 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 2: Right, let me say that again. I hope that here. 328 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:45,920 Speaker 2: If you don't share who you are, people will expect 329 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,200 Speaker 2: you to be who they want you to be. 330 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 1: Who are you becoming? Who are you growing into? I 331 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 1: think we all want to feel a sense of autonomy, right, 332 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 1: and we don't always get that work. We don't get 333 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,240 Speaker 1: that autonomy. Sometimes we are being micromanaged or whatever it 334 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: may be. But the autonomy isn't what we do. The 335 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: autonomy is who we are and how we do it 336 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,199 Speaker 1: and why we do it. We get so wrapped up 337 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 1: and I do therefore I am. We get so wrapped 338 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 1: up in that our occupation is our life, that our 339 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 1: title defines us. When you say to someone, who are you? Oh, 340 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 1: I'm a accountant, I graduated from this place. I'm from 341 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 1: this place. 342 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:27,399 Speaker 2: But who are you? And who are you becoming? Or 343 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 2: who are you becoming? 344 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: The fourth type of relationship we need in twenty twenty 345 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: four is the safety relationships. This may actually only be 346 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 1: one or two people, the people that bring stability and 347 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 1: security into our life. Now, these people may not be 348 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 1: the people that we belong with in a group. They 349 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: may not be our legacy partners. They may not, of 350 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 1: course be the independence. They're the people that we feel 351 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 1: the deepest and safest with. 352 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 2: You only need. 353 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: One person in your life to do this with, and 354 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 1: you want to invest in that one person in a 355 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,119 Speaker 1: deep way. There's some beautiful research that I've read about 356 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 1: on headheartbrain dot com and it talked about how the 357 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,880 Speaker 1: researcher named Zach started out looking at morality and thought 358 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: that oxytocin might be an element in morality. He focused 359 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 1: on trust as a more tangible element to study. He 360 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: and his colleagues carried out research to understand how the 361 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 1: human brain determines when to trust someone and when not 362 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 1: to trust someone. How many of you have dealt with 363 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:36,640 Speaker 1: this before? Right, Participants took part in the trust game, 364 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: designed to study individual's propensity to be trusting and to 365 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:45,920 Speaker 1: be trustworthy. In his experiments, participants oxytocin levels were monitored 366 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: throughout the study. The research has found that when participants 367 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: felt they were trusted, their brains responded by producing oxytocin. 368 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: When participants has shown increased levels of trust, their brain 369 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 1: produced even more oftocin. Most significant, however, was the finding 370 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: that the rise in oxytocin levels resulted in participants' behavior 371 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 1: being more trustworthy. The researchers conclude that people who feel 372 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: trusted become more trustworthy as a result of increased oxytocin 373 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 1: levels in their brains. Zach calls this oxytocin the trust molecule. Now, 374 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 1: he goes on to say there are differences in brain 375 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:30,639 Speaker 1: activity depending on whether people trust conditionally or unconditionally. If 376 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: people trust each other based on certain conditions being met, 377 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 1: like delivering a project on timekeeping or keeping commitments, the 378 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 1: brain's rewards centers activates unconditional trust activates the septal area. 379 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 1: Some very recent study, he says, has found a darker 380 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,320 Speaker 1: side to oxytocin and one that leaders in HR need 381 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: to be cognizant of. The research from Northwestern University in 382 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,880 Speaker 1: the USA found that it can increase emotional pain. Oxytocin 383 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,360 Speaker 1: seems to be the reasons stressful social situations like having 384 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,399 Speaker 1: a bullying boss or extreme stress in a team, have 385 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 1: an impact long after they occur and can trigger fear 386 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 1: and anxiety long past the event. This is because the 387 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 1: hormone strengthens the social memory in a specific region of 388 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 1: a brain. Now, the reason I'm sharing that with you 389 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 1: is this idea that we want to build trust, but 390 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: trust is built over time and Trust is not only 391 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 1: built over time, it's built over depth of experience. And 392 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 1: the way I look at trust is do I know 393 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 1: someone three sixty Have I spent time with people in 394 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:43,400 Speaker 1: three sixty degree varying situations? If I have not, then 395 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,760 Speaker 1: I don't really fully trust that person. So have I 396 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 1: seen them happy? Have I seen them excited? Have I 397 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: seen them stressed? Have I seen them angry? I can 398 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 1: actually give you a list of emotions that will help 399 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 1: you understand whether you fully trust someone. Now that doesn't 400 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: mean you go make them angry to see if you 401 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: trust them when they're angry. But the point is you're 402 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,639 Speaker 1: always building trust like little building blocks, rather than this 403 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 1: black and white idea if I trust you or I 404 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 1: don't trust you. So you want to almost say have 405 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 1: I seen this person happy? Have I seen this person excited? 406 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,560 Speaker 1: Have I seen this person nervous? And it's not that 407 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: you're deciding whether you trust them or not. You're actually 408 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: creating what is known as specific trust, the idea of 409 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,360 Speaker 1: I trust you in this set of circumstances. And that's 410 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: a healthier way to live because we don't feel let down, 411 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: we don't feel undervalued, we don't feel misled. Or misguided 412 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:39,439 Speaker 1: by this person, but we actually feel elated by recognizing 413 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,440 Speaker 1: I know when to trust this person. I'm aware of 414 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 1: when to trust this person. I really want you to 415 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 1: think about who the people in your life. And like 416 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: I said, you only need one or two of these people. 417 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 1: That's your midnight friend. The friend you know you can 418 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,200 Speaker 1: call it midnight, connect with them, talk to each other, 419 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: share your pains. The friend you can call it midnight 420 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,480 Speaker 1: and they will drive to you and turn up. The 421 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,639 Speaker 1: person you can call at midnight and share that and 422 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,359 Speaker 1: you don't abuse it, and you don't abuse it with 423 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 1: each other either. And I just want you to really 424 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,680 Speaker 1: reflect on which relationships you want to invest in more. 425 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 1: I think we think about our relationships just always being there, 426 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,439 Speaker 1: and I think about relationships as plants in a garden. 427 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 1: If you don't water a certain relationship, it will die, 428 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,240 Speaker 1: it will wither, it will not have any flowers, it 429 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 1: won't have any fruits. But if you're watering a part 430 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 1: of your garden, it will grow, it will be lost, 431 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,439 Speaker 1: you will be abundant. 432 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 2: So for you, what is that? Where is that? 433 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: Who is that? 434 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 2: And finally, we need. 435 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,199 Speaker 1: Relationships that are based on surrender and service. Who are 436 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: we serving? Who are we taking care of? I remember 437 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 1: the monastery, we'd always talk about this idea of twenty 438 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 1: percent seniors, twenty percent juniors, and sixty percent peers. This 439 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: idea that twenty percent of your time is serving senior people, 440 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,920 Speaker 1: twenty percent of your time is taking care of junior people, 441 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: and sixty percent of your time is spent with your 442 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,119 Speaker 1: peers sharing this energy. And so if you look at 443 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: the five things that I've shared, I've tried to make 444 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 1: it that way. The belonging may include you to guides 445 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 1: and teachers who uplift you. The surrender may be that 446 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:17,159 Speaker 1: energy where you're giving out. And then the legacy, the independence, 447 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 1: and the safety is what you need. So you can 448 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 1: notice how that twenty sixty twenty rule breaks down. And 449 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 1: I want you to remember that twenty sixty twenty twenty 450 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: percent of your time with people who are guiding you, 451 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,200 Speaker 1: sixty percent of your time with people who are peers 452 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: with you, who you feel uplifted by and you uplift, 453 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 1: and then twenty percent of time with people you're serving, 454 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,399 Speaker 1: people you're giving to. You always want to be a 455 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 1: teacher and a student at the same time. It creates 456 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: humility and it creates proactivity twenty sixty twenty rule. I 457 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: want you to remember this rule when you're building your relationships. 458 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,200 Speaker 1: I actually want you to list who you see every week, 459 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: who you see every month, and I want you to 460 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 1: figure out who sits in which category and whichever you 461 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,440 Speaker 1: have a weakness in or a deficiency in. It's not 462 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 1: about sitting there and going, oh, I don't have anyone 463 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,399 Speaker 1: in my life to guide me, or I don't have 464 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,119 Speaker 1: anyone in my life to share. Go and find them, 465 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,719 Speaker 1: Go and build them, go and create them. And if 466 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:22,800 Speaker 1: you're really following along, well, this five step model spelled bliss, belonging, legacy, independence, safety, 467 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: and surrender in twenty twenty four. I want you to 468 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,360 Speaker 1: experience bliss. I want you to experience so much belonging. 469 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 1: I want you to feel connected to a legacy. I 470 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: want you to experience independence. I want you to have 471 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 1: safety and security, and I want you to feel the 472 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,479 Speaker 1: benefits of surrender and service. Who are you helping? Who 473 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,719 Speaker 1: are you reaching out to? Our cultures become so much 474 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 1: about no one reaches out to me, no one helps me. 475 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 1: Who are we reaching out to? Who are we lending 476 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: a helping hand to? 477 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 2: I know you are. 478 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 1: I know our community is made up of all of 479 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: you want to make an impact on the world, and 480 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 1: I want you to keep discovering that. Thank you so 481 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: much for listening to on Purpose. I hope this episode 482 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 1: helps you deeply this year and transforms your relationships, knowing 483 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 1: who to let go of and who to grow with. 484 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,359 Speaker 1: Sending you so much love with all my love and gratitude, 485 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,160 Speaker 1: thank you for listening to On Purpose. Leave a review, 486 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,200 Speaker 1: if you can follow us on social media, share the episodes, 487 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,479 Speaker 1: and I can't wait for you to listen to your 488 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,399 Speaker 1: next episode. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy 489 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,679 Speaker 1: my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic 490 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: and how to speak to yourself with more compassion. 491 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:40,119 Speaker 2: My fears are only going to continue to show me 492 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,240 Speaker 2: what I'm capable of. 493 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,080 Speaker 1: The more that I face my fears, the more that 494 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I 495 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:48,879 Speaker 1: just want to keep doing that.