Speaker 1: Give me the music. Wine Down with Janet Kramer and
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio podcast, Mike, do you want to do that?
Speaker 1: It's like it's claim to fame. Oh I got Easton
Speaker 1: Are Sweet? Producer left it in and he's like, Babe, babe,
Speaker 1: did you heard that? East left my braining? The biggest
Speaker 1: thing I was worried about wasn't about anything I said.
Speaker 1: It was the last ten seconds of the whole second
Speaker 1: d just give me one more. I love it. Jenn.
Speaker 1: You're like a worker. Be over there, what are you doing? Well?
Speaker 1: It was really funny this morning. I was packing my
Speaker 1: car up to get into work, and my phone was
Speaker 1: in my pocket, and all of a sudden I heard
Speaker 1: my sister saying, are you trying to call me? Are
Speaker 1: you trying to call me? But there I but face
Speaker 1: timed her so she saw a nice picture of your butt.
Speaker 1: It was so funny. So she was actually weaving on
Speaker 1: this loomb. She was making this beautiful wall art. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm ordering one and I'm going to learn to do it. Um.
Speaker 1: Our grandmother was a master weaver. Like she used to
Speaker 1: weave pretty wall art. So for those of you that
Speaker 1: can't see, I see there's like a lot on Etsy,
Speaker 1: like the real pretty like Macromay. We So this is
Speaker 1: what she was doing and our other sister does it too.
Speaker 1: When they got into like this argument because the one
Speaker 1: sister thought the other one was copying her. And so
Speaker 1: my one sister, Rachel I was talking to this morning.
Speaker 1: She said, you should order one because it makes you, like,
Speaker 1: it makes me feel closer to Grandma, like you're doing
Speaker 1: something that she really loves, and you get to be
Speaker 1: really creative. And it's like, I don't know, I'm kind
Speaker 1: of scared because I don't want to be picking. No.
Speaker 1: I well I do. I'm afraid that the other sister
Speaker 1: will get mad. And I'm now weaving. But then I
Speaker 1: got to work and I was like, I'm just going
Speaker 1: to I'm allowed to order a room if you want
Speaker 1: to weave. Yeah, do you? Yeah? So I did it.
Speaker 1: I just ordered. It'll be here next Thursday, and so
Speaker 1: I'm going to be weaving all weekend. I have no
Speaker 1: idea how to do it. Will you make me a
Speaker 1: weave for the like Jolie's room, Yes, make something cute?
Speaker 1: I will. That will be my first one. What if
Speaker 1: we hate the weave them? Mike, Like, that's going to
Speaker 1: be awkward. Then she comes over to see they's like, not,
Speaker 1: it's not up to do. That's the worst of his
Speaker 1: My aunt oh got pretty God, she's out listing right now,
Speaker 1: Like I pray, I'm like sledding a little bit. I
Speaker 1: have to. She doesn't even know the podcast. But let's
Speaker 1: just say someone like drew something and it's like, send
Speaker 1: me a picture of where you put it. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I think I threw it all in the trash kill. No, no,
Speaker 1: you didn't. You're always to keep that. The person comes over,
Speaker 1: story it's put it away bad. I mean he threw
Speaker 1: it out. I think I might a left it. I
Speaker 1: think I might have left it at my mom's and
Speaker 1: then like the dog might have eaten it or something
Speaker 1: like something like homework. I don't god, I feel it's
Speaker 1: just like she's very like, oh my god. I mean
Speaker 1: I'm already like the black sheet. But that side of
Speaker 1: the family, so it's fine. I'm so just like go
Speaker 1: down hill, but like I will, I will not come
Speaker 1: here rescue. You are doing this on your own, you know. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I don't even think my dad knows
Speaker 1: I have a podcast. I don't know, but I just
Speaker 1: I feel very like black Sheet, but that side of
Speaker 1: the family. So it's just she's very artistic, Like I mean,
Speaker 1: like she's incredible art I will say this if she is.
Speaker 1: She's an incredible artist. But like it's just a different style.
Speaker 1: So for like example, like one of her she has
Speaker 1: an alien sculpture but with like pointy boobs coming out.
Speaker 1: It's weird, but it's different. It's different. Yeah, So it's
Speaker 1: just you know, and she's always like, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna stop. I'm stopping. I'm just stopping. I'm talking now,
Speaker 1: my clothes. But you know what, I'm like, I'm already
Speaker 1: far gone on that side, Like they just think I'm
Speaker 1: like a lost cause. So can you give us an update.
Speaker 1: I don't know how you're feeling. I'm feeling pretty good.
Speaker 1: I'm still nauseous at night, but I'm feeling I'm I
Speaker 1: haven't peeped in like a couple of weeks, which is
Speaker 1: like a huge win. That's amazing. Yeah, but we had
Speaker 1: our check up and things are everything's good, babies growing,
Speaker 1: so I'm really happy. Awesome. And did you keep your
Speaker 1: maternity clothes from Julie? I kept some maternity close you did, Yes,
Speaker 1: But what I'm really excited about is about thrown Up
Speaker 1: because it's it's basically consignment but like good good clothing,
Speaker 1: like and you can go on there, so because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to spend like all this money. I'm
Speaker 1: a train close, I'm only gonna wear for what a
Speaker 1: few months, And so I'm like, That's why I love
Speaker 1: thrown Up because they have amazing, amazing brands, um but
Speaker 1: in a public BCBG, Steve Madden, Kate's, Bay Lemon like
Speaker 1: all of my favorite stores. And they also have like
Speaker 1: a Matorney to section too and kids clothes to which
Speaker 1: I love off It's amazing. But again, like Michael's always like,
Speaker 1: why are you buying that for Jolie when She's going
Speaker 1: to outgrow that in like a second, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: but it's cute, but on here, like I can actually
Speaker 1: get her, Like I'm thrown up, I can actually get
Speaker 1: her cute clothes and not feel bad about it, knowing
Speaker 1: that she's going to grow. I'll grow it. Once you
Speaker 1: have a little boy, this, you're going to have this
Speaker 1: in your favorites because they grow out of stuff so fast,
Speaker 1: so fast that you don't even want to buy new
Speaker 1: clothes because it's sometimes he just I'll buy new clothes
Speaker 1: and he totally skips the sizes. Oh my god, that's jastic. Well.
Speaker 1: Threat up is the world's largest online consignment and thrift store,
Speaker 1: with up to ninety percent off estimated retail price, like
Speaker 1: literally off. That's absolutely insane. Um, if you love to shop,
Speaker 1: you need to check out these deals on threat up. Plus.
Speaker 1: If you sign up now, you'll get an extra thirty
Speaker 1: percent off your first order at threat up dot com
Speaker 1: slash Janna. Make sure there's no a in there. It's
Speaker 1: thread up th h r e d up dot com
Speaker 1: slash Janna. That's threat up dot com slash Janna for
Speaker 1: an extra thirty percent off today. Okay, So from our
Speaker 1: last show, we had John Edward on and he started
Speaker 1: talking about astrology, I mean to the fact that he
Speaker 1: left his baby in the womb so that it would
Speaker 1: come out a different sign and so um from our listeners,
Speaker 1: there were Me, Mike and General all texting and it
Speaker 1: could be really cool to get like an astrolog drawing
Speaker 1: because I kind of want to know more about my signs.
Speaker 1: Mike has no idea. We started reading some about his
Speaker 1: signs and it's like some some were spot on somewhere off,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to get an expert to kind of
Speaker 1: discuss some of that explain. Yeah. And then also we
Speaker 1: have a few emails too, um that they want to
Speaker 1: know about their signs as well. So we have Deborah Silverman,
Speaker 1: astrologer on the phone with us right now. Hey Deborrah, Hello,
Speaker 1: how are you? I'm doing great? How are you doing?
Speaker 1: I'm good. I've got my husband Michael in the room,
Speaker 1: producer Jen, and then Easton is a on the board.
Speaker 1: We got a whole bunch of people having a party.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, totally. And um, I will I will start
Speaker 1: off first by saying, um, do people question like the
Speaker 1: I guess authenticity of of astrology? And they did. They
Speaker 1: think it's weird that it's like you, you go off
Speaker 1: of signs for for people's characteristics and stuff. But it
Speaker 1: is weird. It is. I mean, I'm speaking for my
Speaker 1: husband basically right now when I say this. But you
Speaker 1: don't have to believe I tell everybody this. You don't
Speaker 1: have to believe in it for it to be true.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is have a reading and
Speaker 1: then suddenly you'll suspend your left brain. There's lots of
Speaker 1: things we can't see. We can't see gravity, we can't
Speaker 1: see love, and we don't really understand them, but we
Speaker 1: believe in them. And that's true. Starts interesting. You can
Speaker 1: feel that though, you can feel love, and you can
Speaker 1: certainly see the results of gravity when you when you
Speaker 1: get past thirty five seed for all of us thrown up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I mean so that that's pretty good. I mean
Speaker 1: to my naysair husband, what do you think about that?
Speaker 1: You don't have to even Oh my god, he's such
Speaker 1: an intuitive. Don't listen to him. He's just embarrassed how
Speaker 1: much he feels. Yeah, yeah, and making him put words
Speaker 1: to things is his specialty when he's in the mood.
Speaker 1: Fantastic won over already you're on speed dial from Mike. Now,
Speaker 1: never talk my wife feeling, But Mike, you have you
Speaker 1: have a a little bit. Is that Mike who's got
Speaker 1: the No, this would be Jana, Janna. You've got a
Speaker 1: little bit of an eccentric chart. You've got a very
Speaker 1: exuberant personality that's a little over the top at times
Speaker 1: because you get so excited and my writer, am I right?
Speaker 1: You're right? Fantastic? Shut up, Mike, Yes, and and if
Speaker 1: you've got so much fire, Janna, you get so enthusiastic
Speaker 1: and he's water. So one of your challenges is that
Speaker 1: he can go deep and quiet. You can match him there,
Speaker 1: but it's not where you live. You live in enthusiasm
Speaker 1: and he lives in quiet, and it can clash fire
Speaker 1: and water. But if you learn to master it, it
Speaker 1: becomes a sensitivity where you know when not to bump
Speaker 1: bump into him. He needs quiet time, You need to talk,
Speaker 1: and he'll talk when he's in the mood. That's the
Speaker 1: thing about Mike. He'll start going. You just can't push him.
Speaker 1: And you know how women are. Come, do you have
Speaker 1: a camera in my house? There's a camera just behind you. Look,
Speaker 1: don't not just kidding. This is very predictable, and it's
Speaker 1: been going on for thousands of years. It's the oldest
Speaker 1: science on Earth. And I've been doing it for probably
Speaker 1: that long. Yeah, I've been doing this for a while.
Speaker 1: So your chances are fascinating because it could easily be
Speaker 1: that you guys didn't get along. One is a place,
Speaker 1: he's one is a sad squares. She might can detach
Speaker 1: at times emotionally and not feel very much, and then
Speaker 1: Janet gets so emotional and it's hard because she it
Speaker 1: matters so much to you, and then all of a
Speaker 1: sudden it flops over and he's sensitive if he's If
Speaker 1: you dance together, there's a wonderful exchange. But if you crash,
Speaker 1: I could see where this could be a little challenging.
Speaker 1: So are you dancing or clashing? Right now? We're dancing,
Speaker 1: But when we clash, it's like divorce layers. Yeah, for
Speaker 1: you because you're a little over the top ec but
Speaker 1: for me, well, it's just it's like when we we love,
Speaker 1: we love. When we fight, it's like it's falls to
Speaker 1: the wall. It's very passionate. It's like our our couple
Speaker 1: of therapist is like it's you know, no one wants
Speaker 1: to be in the middle of you two when you
Speaker 1: guys go at each other. Yeah, and and this is
Speaker 1: going to not make you happy, Janna, But part of
Speaker 1: that is you, because you're so passionate. He would be
Speaker 1: much more detached if you want. It's great talking to Deborah,
Speaker 1: and I hope you have a great I wish you
Speaker 1: could see no victory dance, but you're bringing him light.
Speaker 1: So without you around, yeah, be far more detached and
Speaker 1: much less feeling. So the good news is, while it
Speaker 1: may seem like I was accusing you of being the
Speaker 1: source of the fire, it's exactly what he needs to
Speaker 1: stay alive and kicking because he can get spacey. Yes
Speaker 1: that Mike might come back, come back. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean this is spot on. Yeah, it's really good.
Speaker 1: Now what do you get? Like, what do you get
Speaker 1: this from? Deborah? Like how do you like you? Okay?
Speaker 1: You know our signs, you know our birthdays? Like where
Speaker 1: are you drawing this from? It's called astrology and to
Speaker 1: feel the science on Earth. And I had to use
Speaker 1: your first date, time and place, and I executed a chart.
Speaker 1: I put all the masks together and figured out Oh,
Speaker 1: so he can be so detached and she gets so excited.
Speaker 1: Oh she loves getting into the futuristic stuff. That's a
Speaker 1: cool thing about you, Janny. You're You're always three steps
Speaker 1: ahead of everyone, and Mike can track you there like
Speaker 1: he's interested in the same thing through. That's a good thing.
Speaker 1: You have a really strong overlap on your fascination with
Speaker 1: anything off the beaten path. Yeah. Interesting, and just don't
Speaker 1: want to get stuck in the old ways. You are
Speaker 1: very good at keeping your minds open. And that's half
Speaker 1: of what relationships about. If we can communicate to each
Speaker 1: other and do the therapy, then we stay together. Do
Speaker 1: you think we'll make it? What did this feeling? I
Speaker 1: have a really good feeling? Would you tell us if
Speaker 1: you had a bad feeling? Though? Like you wouldn't say like?
Speaker 1: But can you send the charts charts to them so
Speaker 1: that maybe they can they can go in depth and read.
Speaker 1: Do you know that Carol Young always had a chart
Speaker 1: in front of him and he was quoted to say
Speaker 1: psychology will be a dinosaur science until it includes astrology.
Speaker 1: He was a full hunt astrologer and he was standing
Speaker 1: next to Froid freyd went left brain and classical prove
Speaker 1: it to me. And Young knew there was a mystical
Speaker 1: world and he did it through dreams and so there
Speaker 1: was two different schools stuff, but he was and all
Speaker 1: there's real classical unions will tell you that astrology is
Speaker 1: at the center of psychology, absolutely, and your psychology and
Speaker 1: a psychologist and I studied humanistic psychology and um, so
Speaker 1: it's there's a lot of mysticism in humanistic psychology. Is
Speaker 1: there is there like a timeline, like a numerical timeline
Speaker 1: of of how far like you read the stars in
Speaker 1: somebody's life based on the information that you get, or
Speaker 1: like where does it start and end? And I'm just
Speaker 1: found fascinated by this. That's so funny you ask because
Speaker 1: you were in a major cycle. So what happened a
Speaker 1: year and a half ago, Mike, you should have had
Speaker 1: a big change in two thousand, two thousand seventeen. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: well it health essentially Yeah, um wow, that's yeah. I
Speaker 1: mean that's when Jana and I went through everything with
Speaker 1: discovery of infidelity and major relationship changes in our world
Speaker 1: that we faced, and mental health issues that I was
Speaker 1: dealing with, and I mean that was the biggest change
Speaker 1: in my life. Was Yeah, So there you have it,
Speaker 1: and thank you for your honesty. How beautiful And yes,
Speaker 1: that was the turning point for you to go from
Speaker 1: one phase of your life to the next. When you've
Speaker 1: made it through that was the eye of the needle. Well,
Speaker 1: the good news is time wise, you're in a much
Speaker 1: easier cycle now. I feel that. Yeah, happy birthday now
Speaker 1: will that continue? Healthy? Well? Is the whole your whole life?
Speaker 1: Lesson might guess to do is being honest with what
Speaker 1: you just displayed ruthlessly honest, and there's a part of
Speaker 1: you that can be a secret keeper, and you can
Speaker 1: be inside your own little world. And then when you
Speaker 1: finally speak it out loud and come clean, everybody you
Speaker 1: know fall in love with you. But it's you know
Speaker 1: you've been in your life, You've had to deal with secrets.
Speaker 1: He literally has his head to his palm right now,
Speaker 1: might be crying. Sorry, I know what you told me
Speaker 1: to do this. I don't usually, by the way, I
Speaker 1: don't even know how this happened because I don't usually
Speaker 1: do this, like just this kind of disclosing on a
Speaker 1: radio show. I don't know who's listening, but I bet
Speaker 1: there's a whole bunch of people. And just so you know,
Speaker 1: I teach astrology and the classes opening next month, so
Speaker 1: anyone that wants to learn in six weeks. I had
Speaker 1: the coolest process where you go and you learn about
Speaker 1: your psyche and your timing and your personality traits, and
Speaker 1: you fall in love with yourself right there, and it's cool.
Speaker 1: I'm going to take the class. That sounds amazing, aren't Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's do it. I mean, like, literally, my husband's brains
Speaker 1: and are on the floor right now. His head is blown.
Speaker 1: You have to pick that up before we finish. But
Speaker 1: he's he's he's going to be good. Yeah. Once because
Speaker 1: now he's in his honesty. He did it. He went
Speaker 1: through a different person. Hold him, did it, old guy?
Speaker 1: He's another person? Yeah, hashtag growth visuals. I love that. Thanks.
Speaker 1: We don't just hear wondering what he's doing over there. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now he's just like bab Yeah, I mean this is yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say. I mean, you don't
Speaker 1: have to say anything. We could do telepathy on the radio.
Speaker 1: That was okay. The third person in the room that's
Speaker 1: not talking, jan I know that's me. I'm right here,
Speaker 1: I'm right here. I have a I have a quick
Speaker 1: question for you. So I'm a Gemini cancer cusp. I
Speaker 1: was born use of leap beer. You have to find
Speaker 1: out which because of leap beer. That's why we don't
Speaker 1: know whether it's the twenties one the twenty second. From
Speaker 1: time to time they give the wrong date. You have
Speaker 1: to look in the year you were born was the
Speaker 1: son and Gemini was in cancer and you can look
Speaker 1: that up. Very people are it was in Gemini? Are
Speaker 1: you also you're a Gemini. Hello, So when you're not
Speaker 1: when you're not born in the cup, if you're one
Speaker 1: degree in, it's like being partially pregnant. You can't you're
Speaker 1: you're pregnant, You're not like you're you're in. It's only
Speaker 1: zero degree and that only happens for a few hours
Speaker 1: and you have to look it up in the Technical
Speaker 1: Astronomer's book. Hey, debor really quick, UM, I just want
Speaker 1: to I want to just say something about my safety.
Speaker 1: So Michael is actually going out of town for a
Speaker 1: golf weekend and I honestly I'm I get really scared
Speaker 1: when I'm home alone, like super super super scared. Um,
Speaker 1: which is why I love a d T and I
Speaker 1: have been an a d T user since I've bought
Speaker 1: my first house, which was like five six years ago. Um,
Speaker 1: a d T protects against break ins, fire, and carbon
Speaker 1: monoxide for a limited time. Get a d T s
Speaker 1: lowest rate starting at just a month from the most
Speaker 1: trusted name and home security. That's just a dollar a day.
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you for me, like I can sleep
Speaker 1: soundly knowing that I have an alarm system. I mean again,
Speaker 1: it's like it's not just me in the house. It's
Speaker 1: my daughter. And yeah, the dogs will bark, but that's
Speaker 1: not going to stop them from a burglar coming in.
Speaker 1: So something that they can you know, the system alarms them.
Speaker 1: It even includes an s OS button with the seven
Speaker 1: emergency response UM and you can get any kind of
Speaker 1: security system you want. I should get this. You have
Speaker 1: to me because I now own my home. I live
Speaker 1: there alone. It's scary. It is, it's scary, and you
Speaker 1: just want to feel there's like the extra like security blanket.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know what makes my husband feel safe
Speaker 1: to it's like a security blanket for me too, knowing
Speaker 1: that when I leave, it's one less thing I have
Speaker 1: to worry about. There's knowing that micro are safe because
Speaker 1: I'm going to worry about them anytime I'm gone. They're
Speaker 1: gonna know how Janet is too when when I'm gone.
Speaker 1: So it puts both of us and d S knowing
Speaker 1: that she's protected. So you guys go to a T
Speaker 1: dot com, slash podcast or a d T dot com
Speaker 1: to take advantage of ads lowest rate that's ad T tested,
Speaker 1: trusted and proven. So we have an email from Becky.
Speaker 1: Do you want to read it? Channel? I'm sure, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm a Libra and my boyfriend is a Scorpio. I'm
Speaker 1: from the UK and absolutely love wine Down. I wondered
Speaker 1: if you can do an episode on astrology and relationships,
Speaker 1: and now we have you different. Yeah. I've been with
Speaker 1: my boyfriend for just over a year now and I'm
Speaker 1: completely in love with him. However, I'm a Libra and
Speaker 1: he's a Scorpio, and in all the trusted resources I
Speaker 1: can find, it says that these are very short lived
Speaker 1: but intense relationships that don't have longevity. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be thinking our relationship is going to end just
Speaker 1: because I read it in astrology, but it is in
Speaker 1: the back of my mind and I'm worried it's starting
Speaker 1: to affect the way I feel about him. Do have
Speaker 1: any any advice on what you think I should do?
Speaker 1: You want me to jump in, Oh if this is
Speaker 1: all you girl, because I'd be like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Drum roll. So the short answers, don't
Speaker 1: believe everything you read that healthy astrology is here to
Speaker 1: teach you to think independently and pay attention to your
Speaker 1: own truth. And there's more than just the sun sign.
Speaker 1: So let's say he's a got libra scorpy. Of those
Speaker 1: two together, by the way, are very compatible. But you
Speaker 1: don't know where his mind is, mercury, where the moon is,
Speaker 1: his emotions, you don't know what his life lesson is.
Speaker 1: There's so many other planets, and for some reason astrology
Speaker 1: has been cheapened by just knowing the one thing, the
Speaker 1: sun sign. But because we can't detect where the moon
Speaker 1: is without without actually making a chart and having to
Speaker 1: do them numbers and maps. So short answer is there's
Speaker 1: many other factors. Don't read what every don't believe everything
Speaker 1: you read and do your homework. You can find out
Speaker 1: if you're compatible or not. It doesn't take long to
Speaker 1: study and or go consult the good astrologer. I have them,
Speaker 1: I produce. I have a twelve certified astrologers in my
Speaker 1: school that give readings who are excellent, who have been
Speaker 1: trained by me, and they can answer that question. But
Speaker 1: you can't do the cheap version. You can't do the
Speaker 1: little short answer. I'm will be pretty DISCORPORI We'll wait
Speaker 1: a minute. What time were you born in what city?
Speaker 1: And what year? Right? Plays a part in them? Right? Yes,
Speaker 1: it's a deep art form that can't be cheapened with
Speaker 1: just one fun time. The sky's the limits. They think,
Speaker 1: think stars and then think just one and go Wait
Speaker 1: a minute, there's more factors to consider. Do you do
Speaker 1: like does it? Does astrology of a show like? Um?
Speaker 1: Like for me, I kind of feel like I'm I
Speaker 1: have a lot of things going on in my life,
Speaker 1: but I'm not sure like where job wise? Like does that?
Speaker 1: Does that? Does astrology plan a part of that? Or? Now?
Speaker 1: That's what astrology is for. It gives you the indicator
Speaker 1: of where your natural gifts are, tells you the timing
Speaker 1: when it will be fertile myrtle to go and look
Speaker 1: for a new job or when stay at the old job.
Speaker 1: When it gives you timing and most of all, it
Speaker 1: reminds you of what you came to do. Like. The
Speaker 1: thing with astrology is it answers the question why am
Speaker 1: I here? Like what part of what am I doing here?
Speaker 1: And that's everyone's deepest secret question. Wanted to have a purpose, Debora,
Speaker 1: Where can our listeners find you? Um? I have a
Speaker 1: website three words Deborah Silverment astrology dot com. You can go.
Speaker 1: I have a something called our community three words again
Speaker 1: dot com and I teach it's a it's a platform
Speaker 1: and you pay like two a month, and every single
Speaker 1: day you hear where the moon is and where the
Speaker 1: planets are, and you get to hear interviews with famous
Speaker 1: people and you really get to learn astrology. So there's
Speaker 1: the Star Community. There is my website, and then there's
Speaker 1: my school Apprenticeship at Deborah Silverman Astrology, where you can
Speaker 1: at least get some free videos to tell you what
Speaker 1: the school is about. Then you can find whether or
Speaker 1: not you're interested. But yes, and it's my deepest love
Speaker 1: in this life to think that I can help people
Speaker 1: fall in love with themselves stop judging over being on
Speaker 1: her show. We appreciate it so much. And you are
Speaker 1: a beautiful light and something. You want me to tell
Speaker 1: you what your destiny is, you have to call me again.
Speaker 1: Deals I She's awesome, Mike, you were like about to cry. No,
Speaker 1: it's true. I did feel some you know, salty discharge
Speaker 1: coming out of my eyes. I don't know what you
Speaker 1: call those things, but I'm not used to it, um whatever.
Speaker 1: But then I will say, after thinking about then my
Speaker 1: skepticism comes into play, which part in a sense of Okay,
Speaker 1: she knew she's coming on the show. Did she like Google?
Speaker 1: She saw in two thousand sixteen that this stuff happened,
Speaker 1: and she just decided to say, hey, and two sixteen,
Speaker 1: your life changed. I don't think so. I don't either. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but she doesn't seem like the googling time, No, not
Speaker 1: at all. She seems like she just sounds had two
Speaker 1: names in an emails like right, let me do their
Speaker 1: charge exactly. Yeah, and the information that we sent in
Speaker 1: about where we're born in place and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: And then she then she charted out where all the
Speaker 1: planets were and then dissected them and evaluated them. That
Speaker 1: sends it to you, guys, so you can read it
Speaker 1: if you have you ever written a comprehensive astrological report
Speaker 1: on your So I had one done and it came
Speaker 1: in a book and it was so spot on. It
Speaker 1: was the most amazing thing to read about yourself and go,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's me, Oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Like you just you're in awe. I mean, she nailed
Speaker 1: literally everything that she talked about with Jane and I.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't it wasn't subjective, it wasn't based on
Speaker 1: a point of view or anything. It was black and
Speaker 1: white like that is kind of how we are. There
Speaker 1: was no subjectiveness to it. It was fascinating in it well,
Speaker 1: and she couldn't have googled that, oh, not at all,
Speaker 1: So that the only thing that had me skeptical was
Speaker 1: the whole thing about change. But I mean, even like
Speaker 1: the secret Keeper and you know, it's to be honest.
Speaker 1: Like that's the biggest thing issue my entire life is honesty,
Speaker 1: which sucks, but which is why it's I mean, shoot,
Speaker 1: last night I was you know, J and I are
Speaker 1: checking in and I had to be honest about something.
Speaker 1: It's like pulling tee sometimes. Yeah, I mean it literally
Speaker 1: was like it took him like five minutes to tell
Speaker 1: me his like his lie of the day. And I'm like, like,
Speaker 1: it's incredible the fear that comes over you. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: wasn't even that. That wasn't even a lie. It was
Speaker 1: just omission thus far, something that happened in the morning
Speaker 1: that I hadn't told her yet that I needed to,
Speaker 1: and it was just by the end of the day
Speaker 1: it was just eat me alive. And it was just
Speaker 1: so hard because my fear around telling the truth and
Speaker 1: the repercussions that might come from that so ingrained in
Speaker 1: me for so long in my life that I'm still
Speaker 1: trying to practice to get out of that. And so
Speaker 1: she talks about the honesty and the secret keeping, and
Speaker 1: I think, Hi, that's it, that's that's crazy. I loved it.
Speaker 1: You guys work so hard on the relationship. No, just
Speaker 1: you guys are so committed. You guys are going to
Speaker 1: I don't care what the charts say. You guys are
Speaker 1: going to make good. Anybody who's that committed to growing together. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but taking the time to check in with each other
Speaker 1: at night, you guys, you guys are in it for
Speaker 1: the long haul. I will say like if like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I agree, but I would say, like if something were
Speaker 1: to happen, like, no one could say we didn't try
Speaker 1: at this point, it's not like, oh that's just another
Speaker 1: like celebrity relationship that you know what it's like. No,
Speaker 1: we like people would be like they thought they tried,
Speaker 1: and that is like something that I can you can
Speaker 1: look us at. Yeah, and again what I said to
Speaker 1: what I wanted to say to Jolie, like I tried,
Speaker 1: and you tried, Like we've were trying. So um, we
Speaker 1: actually have a couple of therapy after this, so it's
Speaker 1: probably better we do the podcast than couples. Sometimes after
Speaker 1: couples we don't talk. But no, we've ben we've done
Speaker 1: really well after couples. It's because of the place that
Speaker 1: we're getting with communication and growing. And but I would
Speaker 1: imagine you need some time in space after sometimes sometimes
Speaker 1: we need it just depends or do you drive separately? Well,
Speaker 1: we live walking distance, so sometimes like he'll drive home
Speaker 1: and I'll walk home or vice versa. Yeah, So, but lately,
Speaker 1: like we've done well, like usually it's one of us
Speaker 1: leaping before the other person, like starving out of the room.
Speaker 1: But yeah, therapists been high fiveing us on the way out, guys,
Speaker 1: and so we'll see. But you're so tell me about
Speaker 1: your psychology, because that's something where if I was to
Speaker 1: ever go back to school, that would be what I
Speaker 1: want to to study. And I'm just so afraid of
Speaker 1: like them the classes to get there, like math and stuff,
Speaker 1: because I'm stupid, so well, I don't know, like the
Speaker 1: time stated. So my undergrad is when I had most
Speaker 1: of my math and statistics, and then in my graduate
Speaker 1: program I chose to um work on a qualitative thesis
Speaker 1: instead of a quantitative qualitative is experience based on experience.
Speaker 1: So when you're doing your research, you interview maybe ten
Speaker 1: to fifteen people who have all had a similar experience,
Speaker 1: and then find the themes and those experience. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: Greef for insecurity or spiritual awakening, whatever it might be.
Speaker 1: Quantitative is when you do all the numbers and you're
Speaker 1: just crunching statistics. And that's dreadful for me because I'm
Speaker 1: not good with numbers. So I decided I went for
Speaker 1: a master's in clinical Psychology humanistic which is UM. It's
Speaker 1: has a lot of mysticism in it, and that's why
Speaker 1: I was drawn to it. Of course, uh intuition, dream,
Speaker 1: dream analysis. It's more about being and you know, finding
Speaker 1: how to be in the world. Do you take clients
Speaker 1: or is it I used to I years ago, over
Speaker 1: twenty years ago, Over twenty years ago, I UM. I
Speaker 1: used to work with teenage girls who lived in residential
Speaker 1: facilities and I loved working with them. And then I
Speaker 1: also used to administer and evaluate all of the psychologically
Speaker 1: like psychologicals for criminal and family court. So I would
Speaker 1: test everyone involved in the case, evaluate write reports, and
Speaker 1: then I would go testify. So and I was really
Speaker 1: young to be doing that, but it was a really
Speaker 1: great experience. That's really cool. And do you mess up?
Speaker 1: I don't because I have so many friends who use
Speaker 1: me as a therapist. So I still get that, like
Speaker 1: us on the show, like your our therapist, at least
Speaker 1: one phone call or I get a text or you know.
Speaker 1: So I always say, like even in my Instagram handle,
Speaker 1: I think it says in therapist to money because because
Speaker 1: I am of the people. But I will probably you know,
Speaker 1: maybe when I'm sixty. Yeah, maybe I'll open an office
Speaker 1: start taking clients again. When when when it needs your
Speaker 1: needs feeding in the soul, then yeah, do it. But
Speaker 1: the one thing I loved working on my master's in
Speaker 1: clinical second, I did go post um postgrad two like
Speaker 1: five classes away from my society. I just I stopped
Speaker 1: when I was um, when I had Rocco, I loved.
Speaker 1: You have to do your work to become a therapist.
Speaker 1: You have to deal with all of your issues, so
Speaker 1: you have to face everything because you can't go into
Speaker 1: a room and be unhealthy. Yeah, and trying to try
Speaker 1: to give other people advice, right, Yeah, that makes so
Speaker 1: much sense. That makes a lot of sense. Not that
Speaker 1: I have I'm not saying I have no issues. I've
Speaker 1: got issues. Of course, we all have issues. That's a
Speaker 1: thing you can't you have to work out, like the
Speaker 1: trauma maybe or childhood stuff like to understand and go
Speaker 1: through and absolutely, yeah that makes sense. A quick just
Speaker 1: a quick explanation on you said dream analysis. So is
Speaker 1: it like I know, like Janice Google, she's a Google machine,
Speaker 1: um where you know it's like, oh, I how to
Speaker 1: dream about polar bears and that means some crazy thing
Speaker 1: like is it that simple or it's not that simple.
Speaker 1: What I always tell people is keep a journal next
Speaker 1: to your bad if you wake up in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night and you know you been dreaming, right
Speaker 1: down everything you possibly can. It doesn't even have to
Speaker 1: be legible. It can just be bullet points. It can
Speaker 1: be white blanket it was cold outside, you know whatever.
Speaker 1: I had blue on um or in the morning. Just
Speaker 1: take a couple minutes before you jump out of bed.
Speaker 1: I'm guilty of totally just jumping out of bed. And
Speaker 1: when you have kids, you that's what you do. Take
Speaker 1: a couple of minutes and try and remember your dreams.
Speaker 1: I remembered my dream last night. But maybe you can,
Speaker 1: like try and help me break down Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: like very vivid dreams when I'm pregnant. It's just it's nuts.
Speaker 1: I mean it seems so real. So this is so random.
Speaker 1: But we were at Julianne Huff's house and or the
Speaker 1: husband Brooks. I mean we we've never hung out with
Speaker 1: them ever. I've only known her from when she was
Speaker 1: the judge Dancing at the Stars and I was on
Speaker 1: the show. You and I were there, babe, and we
Speaker 1: had a couple of therapy that we needed to go to,
Speaker 1: but we were having so much fun at their house
Speaker 1: that we decided to stay. And You're like, oh, we'll
Speaker 1: just I'll text in and Tom. We're just going to
Speaker 1: do like an hour. But it was like snowing, so
Speaker 1: we went. So we were we were we were like
Speaker 1: sliding down this hill, but then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: it turned into like a water park and Jolie was
Speaker 1: there with us, like she she came. So that was
Speaker 1: my dream, like we were hanging out it Like what
Speaker 1: do you idolize the relationship between those two? I think
Speaker 1: there I told this is where I ran into her
Speaker 1: at UM I get my hair at nine one and
Speaker 1: um we were sitting next to each other at the
Speaker 1: sink bowls, and I was like, you guys are just
Speaker 1: so cute together, Like he loves you, you love him
Speaker 1: like you guys like from what I say on Instagram,
Speaker 1: like they have like an amazing relationship. So maybe like
Speaker 1: I wanted to stay to like hang out with them,
Speaker 1: to like have that rub rub off on us, because
Speaker 1: couples therapy was involved in that as well. Sometimes they're
Speaker 1: really easy to dive sack and other times you have
Speaker 1: to you know, go through and really pick up the themes. Yeah, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I must have been feeling insecure. Yeah, you know, oh
Speaker 1: it's snowing, which could mean you know, blurry vision or
Speaker 1: treacherous roads or but then you're on the water slide
Speaker 1: and you're happy slide water park, so weird. Michael. Do
Speaker 1: you remember any of your dreams sately? I mean the
Speaker 1: last one I had. If I would have remembered every detail,
Speaker 1: it could have been like a smash of the box
Speaker 1: office aliens and explosions. And I think the most stereotypical
Speaker 1: guy dream, Like I think I had like you know,
Speaker 1: two guns and hands and like jumping over saving people.
Speaker 1: So I think that was the last dream I remember.
Speaker 1: And what does that mean is that just like a dude,
Speaker 1: and you know, and sometimes they're just entertaining, right you
Speaker 1: just you just have these dreams. You can't really explain them,
Speaker 1: can you. Is it true that you really can't die
Speaker 1: in your dream? It's every time I've almost died, I've
Speaker 1: oken up. Oh, but I don't know. Interesting because I've
Speaker 1: heard like if you do die like you, then you're dead. You.
Speaker 1: That reminds me of going into the bathroom like in
Speaker 1: third grade and turning off all the lights and going
Speaker 1: bloody Mary, bloody hair because blood. Yeah, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: By the way, you guys are all looking at me
Speaker 1: because you probably wonder about my amazing hair and it
Speaker 1: looks incredible. I take my extensions out and I've been
Speaker 1: taking sugar bear hair and I'm telling you, guys, like
Speaker 1: my hair looks like it's it's like thick and full
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Speaker 1: I don't know, I just I feel like, whenever I
Speaker 1: look on like Instagram and stuff too, I'm always looking
Speaker 1: at people's hair and what they do and stuff. And
Speaker 1: now I feel like I'm like, Hey, look at my
Speaker 1: awesome thick hair. So go to sugar bear Hair dot
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Speaker 1: that's sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Janna, sugar Bear
Speaker 1: Hair dot Com slash Janna. Hey, baby, can we tell
Speaker 1: them about our new craze that we love? Actually, yes,
Speaker 1: we can. So let me just start off as I
Speaker 1: say to talk. I love working out with you, Like
Speaker 1: it's like one of my favorite things in the world
Speaker 1: to do. You know, every time, I'm always like, will
Speaker 1: you work out with me? Because I hate working out alone,
Speaker 1: So you're kind of like and I don't know, I
Speaker 1: just like I feel like when we do work out together,
Speaker 1: I feel like I have to like I work I
Speaker 1: work harder because I want to show offtitive. It's like
Speaker 1: between we want to show off for each other and
Speaker 1: also beat each other and like look good though too. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But UM, we're really excited because we've been UM. We've
Speaker 1: been working with Beach Body, which is awesome because it's
Speaker 1: it's an app. UM. It's a streaming service that gives
Speaker 1: you instant access to a wide variety of super effective
Speaker 1: workouts you can do from the comfort of your own house.
Speaker 1: And what's great about our setup is that we have
Speaker 1: a gym in UM in the garage, so we work
Speaker 1: out together. We use the streaming service. It's an easy
Speaker 1: app that you can download. UM. You get the best
Speaker 1: trainers from Shaun Ti to Tony Horton which baby you
Speaker 1: do the Penny X which you love UM And I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just think it's a lot of fun
Speaker 1: because the workouts are are easy. It can be thirty
Speaker 1: minute workouts. Yeah. And the thing is what what sold
Speaker 1: me more to work out with Jane because she's always
Speaker 1: coming in and it's like Jolie's nap time. You want
Speaker 1: to go work out with me and I might be
Speaker 1: feeling lazy and then when she came in a few
Speaker 1: weeks ago and showed me about Beach Body on Demand
Speaker 1: and show me like, you know, hey, we can do
Speaker 1: these quick workouts. It's read are mean it, it's it's
Speaker 1: there for you. You don't have to do any of
Speaker 1: like work about what you want to do. Um. She
Speaker 1: showed me that, and ever since then I've been hooked.
Speaker 1: And especially for us where our schedule is a little
Speaker 1: bit unorthodox, especially with Jana stuff. And then in the
Speaker 1: work the field of work I do now my day,
Speaker 1: my work schedules berries day to day, and so being
Speaker 1: able to get those minute workouts at home, not taking
Speaker 1: time to go to the gym or do any of that.
Speaker 1: It's at home in our backyard minutes knock it out.
Speaker 1: I'm sweating my butt off. I feel good. I look great,
Speaker 1: at least my wife tells me so. Um. But it's
Speaker 1: been really helpful to have, you know, some structure in that,
Speaker 1: because that's what the environment I come from with knowressal
Speaker 1: athletics is everything. Every time I went in to work,
Speaker 1: my workout was in front of me ready to go. Now,
Speaker 1: this is my way to have that at home, and
Speaker 1: that's been the game changer. For me. Yeah, cool, it's
Speaker 1: your comfort zone. Yeah. It's usually like when I walk
Speaker 1: in there too, and I'm like, all right, I'll do
Speaker 1: a couple of curls. But it's like no, it's like
Speaker 1: it's showing us what to do, and it's like it's
Speaker 1: just like Mike said, like it basically lays out the
Speaker 1: workout for you. Just fantastic. So join over one million
Speaker 1: people currently on beach Body on Demand, um, and then
Speaker 1: one million and two would be me and Mike and
Speaker 1: now Jen, I'm right now, My listeners can get a
Speaker 1: special free trial membership. When you text Janna to you
Speaker 1: will get full access to the entire platform for free,
Speaker 1: all the workouts, the nutritional information and support. It's completely
Speaker 1: free again. Just text Jana to thirty thirty Okay, Um, Jen,
Speaker 1: do you want to do the first email? Sure, let's
Speaker 1: do it. Okay, So from Samantha, I can really resonate
Speaker 1: with this email. I'm at the title. Think you have
Speaker 1: no idea? My mother in law is uber crazy? Hey,
Speaker 1: Pam kidding, I'm kidding. Wait, what who's your mother in law?
Speaker 1: Was ex mother in law? I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: her name. Okay, can we talk about it or know
Speaker 1: for sure. So let me just before we do this
Speaker 1: this I have so much experience eighteen nineteen years of
Speaker 1: experience with us. So, I mean it started before we
Speaker 1: were married. But she had an idea of who was
Speaker 1: going to marry her son and it was not it
Speaker 1: was not me. And so we had this huge Middle
Speaker 1: Eastern wedding by the way, this is John story. And
Speaker 1: she was supposed to she she was the mother's were
Speaker 1: supposed to wear like like it was a fall wedding,
Speaker 1: so brown or dark page or from Yeah, I gave
Speaker 1: them many options. She showed me the dress that she
Speaker 1: was going to quote unquote going to wear. But then
Speaker 1: she showed up and all black to my wedding. I
Speaker 1: didn't say a word to me, not one word all day.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean it just went on and on
Speaker 1: and on that I mean that that was the start
Speaker 1: of that. That was what was the worst thing that
Speaker 1: ever happened that she did. After we got married. She
Speaker 1: come over to the house one day and UM told him, like,
Speaker 1: she said, you should just come home and leave, get divorced.
Speaker 1: I can tell you're not happy. You should be, yes,
Speaker 1: And she was really she wouldn't call me by my
Speaker 1: name she would say, you're like when she was talking
Speaker 1: to her daughter, she would say, your brother's wife. You know,
Speaker 1: she wouldn't address you, she wouldn't address me. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: she must be happy now that you guys are divorced,
Speaker 1: all right, I would imagine. I don't know. Those are
Speaker 1: just a couple of the stories. Let's hearing. I should
Speaker 1: have I should have been more aware before I got
Speaker 1: married because she was acting the same way, and I
Speaker 1: really should have taken note. Okay, because Samantha, I'm going
Speaker 1: to read your email and then I'm going to give
Speaker 1: you some advice. I'm getting married on August eleven to
Speaker 1: my amazing fiance, Michael. We've been dating for three and
Speaker 1: a half years, and I couldn't be happier his His mother,
Speaker 1: on the other hand, is uber crazy. She constantly is
Speaker 1: making all of my decisions about the wedding about her.
Speaker 1: She cries to Michael about how terrible I am, but
Speaker 1: the rest of the family loves me. I don't know
Speaker 1: what to do because I don't want Michael to feel
Speaker 1: like he's stuck between me and his mother. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, I feel like he needs to have
Speaker 1: some loyalty towards me. I'm stuck and needs some of
Speaker 1: your lovely advice, Samantha. He has to be on your side.
Speaker 1: And yes, she is his mother, but you two are
Speaker 1: getting married, and you two are going to be living
Speaker 1: in a house and in the future raising children together,
Speaker 1: and she has nothing to do about that. She is
Speaker 1: the grandmother and she is the mother in law. It's
Speaker 1: you two. You two are the team. You can be
Speaker 1: gracious and sweet and kind to her, but he has
Speaker 1: to be on your side because this will not end
Speaker 1: if he's not on your side. She has the power.
Speaker 1: I agree, Michael. What I will say, I totally agree
Speaker 1: Jen and Janna. My advice here would be, Samantha, go
Speaker 1: to Michael and tell him, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: all this? Yeah, from a good place. Tell him kindly
Speaker 1: request that he talks to his mother, but also tell
Speaker 1: him if he does not not, then you will. And
Speaker 1: if he does not, you go to your future mother
Speaker 1: in law in a healthy way and say, what's going
Speaker 1: on here? Be adults and ask her directly. It is
Speaker 1: probably gonna make her super uncomfortable. It's probably gonna make
Speaker 1: you super uncomfortable, but that's the only choice you have.
Speaker 1: You can't Something has to be the adult here. Someone
Speaker 1: has to Clearly she's not being so Samantha, you go
Speaker 1: be the adult. You address it to her. I would
Speaker 1: like to think I make up that she might have
Speaker 1: a newfound respect for you, that you're stepping up and
Speaker 1: being like, look, I'm marrying your son. What do we
Speaker 1: have to do to work our relationship out? What is
Speaker 1: your issue with me? What is the underlying meaning of this?
Speaker 1: You're not going to lose your son. We're still gonna
Speaker 1: be a part of the family. We're all we're all family. Now.
Speaker 1: He's not going anywhere. But hold on a second. Though,
Speaker 1: you had a hard time with your mom stepping aside
Speaker 1: like from because you were a mama's boy. So I
Speaker 1: mean you have to have some empathy for Michael being
Speaker 1: Michael and understanding like that. That's hard. No, I do.
Speaker 1: But this aspect, like this is extremes when it's selling
Speaker 1: Pam like hated me or no, not at all. She
Speaker 1: loves loves you and loves you, And it wasn't you know,
Speaker 1: y'all's biggest thing was about like sharing holidays and stuff
Speaker 1: like this, and her talking about Christmas. But and then
Speaker 1: but then also you're saying you were talking about having
Speaker 1: traditions for Fourth July and Thanksgiving. So it's like you
Speaker 1: guys are both kind of playing your ground on what
Speaker 1: you wanted to keep as a tradition that you were
Speaker 1: both used to. So it's not like she hated you.
Speaker 1: There's no animosity between and if there was stepped in, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: my mom was like I reckon Jana and all this stuff,
Speaker 1: then that had been one thing, but that was never
Speaker 1: the case. So this is an extreme case that she
Speaker 1: needs to address. And my only concern is that the
Speaker 1: mother in law won't be the future mother in law
Speaker 1: won't be aware enough. Absolutely, that's it's going to be
Speaker 1: a struggle. It really is, Samantha. And I think it
Speaker 1: is too because of the age of the adults. Like
Speaker 1: even like when I've tried to talk to my mom,
Speaker 1: it's like they don't it's like they didn't have and
Speaker 1: not the therapy, but they don't know how to communicate.
Speaker 1: I feel like to be um, you know, vulnerable, So
Speaker 1: that's in to listen and to not get defensive. So
Speaker 1: I think that that might be really hard for Symantha,
Speaker 1: But just try to be the adults. Try to be
Speaker 1: calm and know that you said all the things from
Speaker 1: a good place and from a place of yeah, and
Speaker 1: just be like, if they're what can I do to
Speaker 1: like you? Know? It's not like you want to change
Speaker 1: things to make her like you. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: you don't want to have this going on for your
Speaker 1: entire marriage, because that's being exhausting. It becomes a poison,
Speaker 1: it really does. It becomes a poison. Well, I'm lucky
Speaker 1: that I have Pam Howney. You want to read the
Speaker 1: next one? Sure? This email is from Sarah Sarah, okay,
Speaker 1: and there's another one Jane, which I think we should
Speaker 1: read too. Okay, that's a good one for both of us.
Speaker 1: All right, So from Sarah, my boyfriend is extremely insecure.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend was previously cheated on by his X of
Speaker 1: five years. Coming into our relationship sometime later, he continues
Speaker 1: to be very insecure about anything and everything. For example,
Speaker 1: I asked him if it's okay if I celebrated an
Speaker 1: engagement dinner with two other girls. He responds, yes, of course, honey,
Speaker 1: So I told them yes. Later he said he was
Speaker 1: saying that sarcastically. Mind you, it's on a Thursday after work.
Speaker 1: He proceeds to say, well, me and my buddy are
Speaker 1: going out for pizza wings and beer. I don't care
Speaker 1: if he does. However, we got into a huge argument
Speaker 1: and I told him that if he cannot trust me
Speaker 1: for something that's simple and small, then we shouldn't be together.
Speaker 1: I'm just exhausted with this. I need all hands on deck,
Speaker 1: including Mike's, to get a man's perspective. All right, So
Speaker 1: first things first is I don't think there's room for
Speaker 1: sarcasm in a relationship when it comes to asking direct
Speaker 1: questions and wanting direct answers. There, that's just that's a
Speaker 1: cop out. That's that's bad communication. You're not gonna get
Speaker 1: any think done. That builds resentment, that's miss communication, and
Speaker 1: it's just it's just gonna cause a lot of issues. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because he said yes, then it's like your girlfriends. And
Speaker 1: then he's gonna make her feel bad by saying how sarcastic? Well,
Speaker 1: how how is Sarah supposed to know you're being sarcastic?
Speaker 1: You can't know. That's childhood. You can't be sarcastic in
Speaker 1: that um And then and then him coming back and saying, well,
Speaker 1: I'm going out for pizza, you know, for pizza wings
Speaker 1: and beer, and my buddies. That's just being childish, you said,
Speaker 1: when you read it like it just seems immature. Ye.
Speaker 1: And then but also you know, she says that they
Speaker 1: got into a huge argument and that she says, I
Speaker 1: if he cannot trust her with something that's simple, then
Speaker 1: we shouldn't be together. And that's where I'll get his back,
Speaker 1: where I don't say, we'll just be careful minimizing his
Speaker 1: feelings about something. Okay, So clearly he had he's had
Speaker 1: issues with infidelity in previous relationship, and he's carrying that
Speaker 1: into y'all's relationship, which is unfair. But everybody has her baggage, right,
Speaker 1: everyone has their baggage. But him acting out around this
Speaker 1: in a sense of just acting childish what I mean
Speaker 1: like physically acting now, but acting childish and the mature
Speaker 1: around this topic, minimizing his feelings around it is only
Speaker 1: gonna make it worse because he's not feeling heart So
Speaker 1: it's just going to take a sit down between you two, Sarah.
Speaker 1: You tell him and validate his feelings of having fear
Speaker 1: because of his past relationship history. Reassure him that you
Speaker 1: love him and you would never even dream about doing
Speaker 1: something to hurt him and then and then you know,
Speaker 1: be like, how can we handle the situation in the future.
Speaker 1: But the key is to validate his fears going into it,
Speaker 1: because clearly through this example that is he's speaking from
Speaker 1: a place of fear. That's it. I get that. But
Speaker 1: what I'll disagree with with you, babe and agree with
Speaker 1: Sarah is like something that is so small and simple
Speaker 1: where it's like, like, that's so like I know, like
Speaker 1: I get what you're saying because we're like we're going
Speaker 1: through it and stuff. But at the same time, I'm like,
Speaker 1: if it's that's what they're arguing about, something that's so
Speaker 1: like simple like that, it's like God, like, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be exhausting move having moving forward with like other things well,
Speaker 1: and what happens when the big stuff comes? Right? Yes,
Speaker 1: I agree that I'm saying, example, nip this in the
Speaker 1: butt now, because that's going to help you communicate better
Speaker 1: when the big Yeah, But I do agree with you
Speaker 1: with like, you know, not making it because to him,
Speaker 1: it's not simple. It's a big not about the lamp
Speaker 1: shade feeling, it's about something else. He doesn't know how
Speaker 1: to articulate that to her because she has done nothing
Speaker 1: to hurt him as far as we know, so he
Speaker 1: just you know, you guys need to have an honest
Speaker 1: conversation about that because it's coming from somewhere else. Just
Speaker 1: like when Mike and I got into a fight. Um,
Speaker 1: it's we got to fight over a lampshade, but it
Speaker 1: wasn't about the lamp shade. It was about something else
Speaker 1: that I was having issues about. So I'm always like,
Speaker 1: it's not about the lamp shade, thade. Um. Before we
Speaker 1: get to another email, I want to tell you guys
Speaker 1: about Skylar. It's a self care lifestyle brand centered around Sense.
Speaker 1: Now that I'm able to smell sense because I'm feeling
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Speaker 1: read you, guys, an email from Jane. This is a
Speaker 1: good one. The title is we have similar stories, don't
Speaker 1: dont done? Your story and mine are so similar with
Speaker 1: a bit of an age difference. I'm a fifty year
Speaker 1: old mother of two teenagers, married seventeen years, I was
Speaker 1: the one who wanted sex more than my husband. My
Speaker 1: husband confessed a year long affair with our mutual female friend.
Speaker 1: Double portrayed, Yeah, working on our marriage, which is better
Speaker 1: than ever even our sex life. Listen to episode four twice.
Speaker 1: I cried both times. I'm sorry. I can completely relate
Speaker 1: to all of your triggers and feelings after listening to
Speaker 1: episode twelve, here's my question, how do you reconcile balance?
Speaker 1: John Edwards comments about positive energy, what you put out
Speaker 1: there is what you attract, arguing for the negative, which
Speaker 1: is based on fear with these fears and triggers we
Speaker 1: are experiencing after the infidelity. Wait, I don't understand that.
Speaker 1: So she's asking, you know, John Edwards said, what you
Speaker 1: put out you get back, So mind be mindful of
Speaker 1: your thoughts. So she I think what she's asking is,
Speaker 1: I'm so worried that he's going to go have another
Speaker 1: affair that am I putting that out there in the
Speaker 1: universe and he's going to do it because that's the
Speaker 1: energy and putting out I interpret another way where you
Speaker 1: want to have, you know, positive thoughts to have a
Speaker 1: positive life around you, right around yourself with that, But
Speaker 1: you're naturally being the victim of this betrayal, You're going
Speaker 1: to have those negative thoughts. So I think she's scared
Speaker 1: of yes, you know, especially the same thing, having those
Speaker 1: negative thoughts and creep in. Will that affect the positivity
Speaker 1: the positive environment she's trying to create with her husband. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And she goes on to say, I'm trying to create
Speaker 1: a positive environment from healing from this infidelity, but am
Speaker 1: getting bogged down by the trigger as fears and insecurities.
Speaker 1: I feel as though I need to be constantly reminded
Speaker 1: that I was the one who has chosen and why
Speaker 1: that's not what I want to attract for the new
Speaker 1: marriage that we are working towards. And and that's you know, Jane,
Speaker 1: I can I can totally get the triggers and fears
Speaker 1: and insecurities. And that's where you know your partner, like
Speaker 1: Mike has done a good job now with doing and
Speaker 1: he took a good year and a half to get
Speaker 1: to the point where it's like they can um acknowledge
Speaker 1: your triggers and fears and insecurity insecurities. But it's also
Speaker 1: it's on us, Jane, to be able to let the
Speaker 1: past be the past and it's hard, but not let
Speaker 1: it bogged down out. It's okay. If it creeps in, um,
Speaker 1: it still does for me, it might just not be
Speaker 1: a minute now, maybe it's just a few seconds, and
Speaker 1: then I say, Okay, that was the past, let's move forward.
Speaker 1: What's the present. And so I'm just trying to stay
Speaker 1: in the present and trying not to put that negative
Speaker 1: and negative energy out there because we don't want that
Speaker 1: person back in our life. For those right and you
Speaker 1: can still, Jane, from from just the experience that Jane
Speaker 1: and I have gone through, do you have every right
Speaker 1: to have those negative feelings? You have every right to
Speaker 1: feel that way, to express those feelings now by by you, uh,
Speaker 1: I haven't trying to say that by articulating them in
Speaker 1: a healthy way to your husband, by coming to him
Speaker 1: and expressing, hey, I'm feeling this way. As opposed to
Speaker 1: being passive, aggressive, or holding things against him or being resentful,
Speaker 1: that's how that negativity is going to creep into your life.
Speaker 1: But if you have those negative feelings and talk about
Speaker 1: them in a healthy way, then I don't think that
Speaker 1: negativity creeps into the life around you because you're handing
Speaker 1: things in a positive, healthy way. I agree, you know,
Speaker 1: so I think that's the key, that's been the key
Speaker 1: for us um which neither of us do perfectly all
Speaker 1: the time, because everyone's going to bring in a negative
Speaker 1: energy we all have. Yeah, that's that's just human, whether
Speaker 1: there was infidelity, where we all have fears, whether it's
Speaker 1: work or relationships or like split money. Like, we all
Speaker 1: have our fears with all of our insecurities. That's how
Speaker 1: much we let them come in. And if we don't
Speaker 1: speak on it, then it's going to continue to take
Speaker 1: over what we really want, the positivity. It's all about
Speaker 1: being able to manage them in a healthy way. Yeah, yes, bam,
Speaker 1: thanks for thanks for listening though, Yeah, thank you Jane
Speaker 1: twice and all in so and I love too that
Speaker 1: we have such a wide range of listeners on the
Speaker 1: show from teenagers too. I'll be curious to know how
Speaker 1: recent the affair was. Yeah, but it's probably you know,
Speaker 1: at least our timeline, because they said their marriage has
Speaker 1: been better than ever even their sex life. You know,
Speaker 1: we're reaching that point. So they're working on it. They're
Speaker 1: working on it, and you guys, for your kids, and
Speaker 1: that's a great you know, I don't know when infidite
Speaker 1: had happened. But that's really great for the kids to
Speaker 1: see that they're working through it, right, because I mean,
Speaker 1: I remember my parents got divorced. I knew about the affair.
Speaker 1: I mean, I basically caught my dad in the affair,
Speaker 1: and you know, they tried for maybe a month, but
Speaker 1: then my dad was in love with his affair girl.
Speaker 1: But it's like I saw, so I'm like that that
Speaker 1: is what I saw. That is what I saw men do.
Speaker 1: Like so it's like, but if I would have saw
Speaker 1: them work on it, then I maybe would have had
Speaker 1: a different perspective. So you saw that answer in which
Speaker 1: a lot of kids nowadays see because divorce raised No,
Speaker 1: it's more than that. More than that. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: insane that people just treat it like it's just a
Speaker 1: button that you just pushed. Well, I mean I can't talk.
Speaker 1: I've been divorced twice. But I mean, like again, mine
Speaker 1: were like I was nineteen, went through a drive fay
Speaker 1: didn't even know the guy, and then the other one.
Speaker 1: You know, we were married for a week and you know,
Speaker 1: obviously now we're best friends, but you know this, those
Speaker 1: were just weddings or not even the first one wasn't
Speaker 1: even a wedding. It was literally drive through in Vegas.
Speaker 1: But like nineteen But I mean, I think a marriage
Speaker 1: to me is you know what we're doing. We're working
Speaker 1: on our marriage. It's it's a couple of years in.
Speaker 1: It's we're like we're actively working. So that's why, like
Speaker 1: I sometimes forget, you know, but yes, it's insane how
Speaker 1: high rate. And I hate saying that because I mean,
Speaker 1: you're getting divorced. But it's like you tried too, though
Speaker 1: I tried. We went to couples therapy and we are
Speaker 1: just completely different people at different stages of awareness. But
Speaker 1: but here's my thing, though we're gonna You're gonna be
Speaker 1: on different stages though, like Mike and are, but you
Speaker 1: don't where people don't grow. Yeah, I just continued continued
Speaker 1: and continued to grow and and I try. I used to,
Speaker 1: believe me a lot of tools in my tool kit,
Speaker 1: and over the years, I pulled out every tool to
Speaker 1: try and help facilitate growth. And it just wasn't recepted,
Speaker 1: you know, right, wasn't received right, And that's that's a
Speaker 1: hard It's like, why would you want to stay in
Speaker 1: the unhappy marriage? Right? Still the answer for some people
Speaker 1: and that's okay. Well, yeah, it's just clearly there's a
Speaker 1: lot of people out there not doing the work, that's all.
Speaker 1: But that with that, there's facts out there. I'm not percentage.
Speaker 1: I'm really curious to actually know what it is. Someone
Speaker 1: should Google. Look, I have my computer from one in
Speaker 1: here in studio Google Studio. But yeah, I hope, I
Speaker 1: hope Jane's kids are are able to see the positive.
Speaker 1: And we don't know if they've kept it secret from
Speaker 1: them or whatever. But regardless of whether the teenagers know
Speaker 1: about or not, they're seeing their parents work on their marriage.
Speaker 1: They don't have to know that it's through infidelity. I
Speaker 1: have a question for you though, I mean, obviously for us,
Speaker 1: it's on Google. So when Julie has Google, she can
Speaker 1: like google it. Yeah, that's gonna be a tough day.
Speaker 1: But I but and if it wasn't on Google, I
Speaker 1: would want to tell her that when she's old enough
Speaker 1: to understand, like if something was going on in her relationship,
Speaker 1: like I would want her to understand like our dynamic
Speaker 1: to show like that we fought for it and you know,
Speaker 1: yes and no, and let me just say, let me
Speaker 1: tell her the specifics would. It would all depend if
Speaker 1: she was going through or son was going through a
Speaker 1: tough situation with infidelity in relationship or something like that,
Speaker 1: and the timing is right and they're of age to
Speaker 1: really understand. I would be right there in line with
Speaker 1: you to tell them together, Like when your parents were
Speaker 1: talking about some stuff. It's like to me, I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's some like that gives me encouragement to know that
Speaker 1: they're like still married this long and they had like
Speaker 1: a big issue, you know. But as the person who
Speaker 1: done that, if you just wanted to tell Jolie or
Speaker 1: tell not a spite, but just like the first issue
Speaker 1: that she comes up with her first boyfriend and she's
Speaker 1: fifteen and impressionable, and you say that you know, daddy
Speaker 1: cheated on me, so it's okay, like you can get
Speaker 1: stronger from this, And she's like, wait what because her
Speaker 1: image of me is not that person, because you know
Speaker 1: from the time you know now the only person, the
Speaker 1: only dash who knows is the president carrying, affectionate, loving
Speaker 1: father that I am now not the distant you know,
Speaker 1: a piece of crap. So for me, I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: that image tarnished unless it was something that she could
Speaker 1: actually learn from. So what happens when she does google it?
Speaker 1: I mean, granted we're still together, you know, because if
Speaker 1: we're a divorce and it's like, well, obviously like she's
Speaker 1: going to know, like there's issues together opimist Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, like, you know, but if we're
Speaker 1: when we're still together down the road and she does
Speaker 1: like what happens, and that's fine, that's fine. She discovers
Speaker 1: it and she wants to come. She might google it
Speaker 1: at four I mean, god, kids are online now, and
Speaker 1: she might and she probably will. That's probably how it's
Speaker 1: going to happen. And that's fine. If she googles that.
Speaker 1: Then we sit down and we had the discussion about
Speaker 1: what happened to an extent, about how we fought through it.
Speaker 1: You know, all the work that we put in. This
Speaker 1: is the kind of work that relationships take. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: because we love you, Julian, we love your brother, you know,
Speaker 1: we're going to do everything we possibly could to make
Speaker 1: this work. And look at us we have. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: it's just coming from us an unsolicited manner when it's
Speaker 1: not something relevant to a lesson she needs to learn.
Speaker 1: I just don't think is the way to do it. Yeah, okay, John,
Speaker 1: what'd you find? Good? God, this is the most comprehensive
Speaker 1: study it even with like um the occupations that people
Speaker 1: have that are most likely to get divorced. But I
Speaker 1: was reading this in every thirteen seconds, there is a
Speaker 1: divorce in America every thirteen seconds. Yes, that equates to
Speaker 1: seventies seven divorces per hour, six thousand, six hundred and
Speaker 1: forty six divorces per day, forty six thousand, five hundred
Speaker 1: and twenty three divorces per week, and two million, four
Speaker 1: hundred nineteen thousand, one hundred ninety six divorces per year.
Speaker 1: Rest there are nine divorces in the time it takes
Speaker 1: for one couple to recite their wedding vows, which is
Speaker 1: two minutes. People, nine divorces every two minutes. There's been
Speaker 1: three divorces since you started talking about this. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we need to divorce lawyers. Yeah right, yeah right, you're
Speaker 1: very aggressive. They are very aggressive. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: Every woman would hire Janna as Harry divorce lawyer and
Speaker 1: get them by the ball's second career hurts. That's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's sad. But but marriages are down to he says,
Speaker 1: are they people are getting married like they used to?
Speaker 1: And I think that's okay. I always say I am
Speaker 1: Goldie hawnting it the rest of my life. See, I
Speaker 1: disagree with that they do. But I for some reason, like, Okay, Amy,
Speaker 1: can we get Goldie hana on please? I want to
Speaker 1: ask her because I think for some people, yeah, it
Speaker 1: might work, but for me personally, it's I I do
Speaker 1: believe in the marriage. I do believe in that. What's
Speaker 1: that called like the foundation the sacrament of marriage? And
Speaker 1: I think that's for me that's I just I couldn't
Speaker 1: do that. I couldn't. I couldn't just be have a
Speaker 1: partner for the you know, if Michael and I were
Speaker 1: to get divorced, yeah, I mean I would want to
Speaker 1: get married again. Like even in my head, I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I just I would just whatever. But for for what
Speaker 1: I want my kids to see and I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just believe in it. I believe in the spiritual union,
Speaker 1: whatever that may be in the future. I would love
Speaker 1: to have some incredible shaman do perform some incredible ceremony.
Speaker 1: But I don't feel like I need to go down
Speaker 1: to the courthouse and get a piece of paper that's
Speaker 1: stamped and gives me five days to get married. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm just old school with that. Where are
Speaker 1: you out of mike? Um, we have therapy, couple of
Speaker 1: therapy and seven minutes okay, and then not answering that question. No, Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm old school. And my parents have been married
Speaker 1: for gosh, thirty probably close to thirty five years, um,
Speaker 1: And they've been the only ones that have either been
Speaker 1: married or remain married on both sides of my family,
Speaker 1: the only ones. And they are each one of four children,
Speaker 1: the only ones out of both sides of my family.
Speaker 1: So they have been the foundation for that, and they
Speaker 1: have been through their their crap, and so they have
Speaker 1: been a role model in a relationship since of that,
Speaker 1: and I strongly believe marriage because of them. And according
Speaker 1: to the study, your fourteen percent less likely to get
Speaker 1: divorced because of my parents, because of your parents. But
Speaker 1: then but then, like, okay, so I hear that. But
Speaker 1: then like, but then why didn't you like like why
Speaker 1: didn't you love our marriage? More? Like it depends on
Speaker 1: everyone still has issues, Like if you idle, I know,
Speaker 1: but I just for me, I'm like, if you idolize
Speaker 1: our marriage so much a lot more now in the
Speaker 1: place that I'm not right, I have a greater appreciation
Speaker 1: with what we're going through, with what they have because
Speaker 1: we're in the trenches doing work, and I know my
Speaker 1: parents were in the trenches doing work for a long
Speaker 1: long time. So I see what we can have. And
Speaker 1: they're probably more in love now than they ever were. Right,
Speaker 1: and you too will are in will continue. But but
Speaker 1: I will say I do sig with Genda's sense of
Speaker 1: if that makes two people happy, well, of course, do
Speaker 1: whatever makes you happy. I'm just saying my personal opinion
Speaker 1: is I believe in marriage. My only fear with the
Speaker 1: Goldie Haunting it is someone um is one of the
Speaker 1: partners in that relationship or not. Maybe they're not being
Speaker 1: completely honest in genuine like maybe they do really want
Speaker 1: to get married, but their partner is so set on
Speaker 1: Goldie haunt in it that is the thing, um that
Speaker 1: they just conformed to that. So that's my only fear.
Speaker 1: Every both both parties would have to feel the same way,
Speaker 1: would have to feel safe, and there's not resentment under right. Okay,
Speaker 1: So this has been an awesome show and I want
Speaker 1: to thank Michael jen easton UM a huge thank you
Speaker 1: to threat Up. Remember to go to threat up dot
Speaker 1: com slash Janna. You can go to a t T
Speaker 1: dot com slash podcast, Sugarbear Hair dot com slash Janna,
Speaker 1: beach Body on Demand remember to text Joanna to thirty
Speaker 1: thirty and Skyler dot com slash Janna. Also, in celebration
Speaker 1: of National Chocolate Cookie Day, it was on Saturday. By
Speaker 1: the way, Bristol Farms delivered some of their famous the
Speaker 1: Cookie the studio. So if you ever need to sati
Speaker 1: if you ever need to satisfy your sweet tooth, this
Speaker 1: is honestly the way to go. They're fantastic. Try them.
Speaker 1: They're baked fresh every single day. And in August eleven,
Speaker 1: This coming Saturday is National Panini Day and famed Italian
Speaker 1: sandwich shop Parolo's Panino is celebrating big. All paninos at
Speaker 1: Parolo's Panino will be priced at five dollars Friday, August eleven.
Speaker 1: It's open eleven am to eleven pm daily on Melrose
Speaker 1: Avenue in Los Angeles. Stopped by Parolos to see why
Speaker 1: the world Panino means amazing effing sandwiches, sandwich and just
Speaker 1: for the record, Thank you Bristal Farms, because this whole
Speaker 1: show I did with like cookie my teeth and I've
Speaker 1: been like trying to pick it with my tongue the
Speaker 1: whole time on my phone, like how many talcolate chips have? Myth?
Speaker 1: But thank you having killing them? All right, baby, you
Speaker 1: ready go to a couple of therapy. Let's do it.
Speaker 1: Good buck, thanks bye? Would you ready go to it?