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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: My brother refuses to act like an adult, so I

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Speaker 2: force him to be one. Lay, Lay, I will force you.

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Speaker 2: My brothers are all pigs. We had a very traditional

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Speaker 2: house where girls cleaned and wash the dishes from the

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Speaker 2: time we were old enough to walk and stand chairs,

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Speaker 2: and my brothers never did anything. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from Furroway handshot first, and if you want to

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Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to our shosh Okay Storytime.

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Speaker 2: Now its adults. They cannot even turn on a washer.

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Speaker 2: I very much resent how I felt like I had

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Speaker 2: to raise my own father, and how holidays and weekends

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Speaker 2: were always spent with my brothers and dads pang around

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Speaker 2: while we did all the cleaning. Even at Christmas, they

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Speaker 2: got to play with their toys and we went into

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Speaker 2: the kitchen. I do not care about excuses like I

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Speaker 2: was never taught. We're all adults now and they can

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Speaker 2: YouTube and google what they don't know. I learned how

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Speaker 2: to patch walls, change tire chain, oil, et cetera. All

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Speaker 2: the gendered stuff. I was never taught, so I don't

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Speaker 2: see why he can't learn as well. My brother got

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Speaker 2: put out by his girlfriend after they had their first

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Speaker 2: kid because he does not help with anything. Since staying

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Speaker 2: with me, I have forced him to do stuff. When

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Speaker 2: he first moved in my house, went from my tidy

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Speaker 2: cleaning topia a disgusting, disgusting mess. He would spit sunflower

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Speaker 2: seeds on the floor. He hid his food in dirty

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Speaker 2: laundries around the house. He would spit chewed gum behind

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Speaker 2: the coffee machine, beat from the trash can, hide snack

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Speaker 2: food everywhere, smoke on the toilet, puts SIGs out on

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Speaker 2: my floor, which is a slap in the face. As

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Speaker 2: I asked him to not smoke inside because I don't

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Speaker 2: smoke period. He would leave his dirty clothes everywhere, even

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Speaker 2: on the living room floor, et cetera. Even when he

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Speaker 2: ordered food for himself, he would eat at the table

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Speaker 2: then leave it for me to put away for him.

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Speaker 2: Anytime he took anything out of the fridge, he would

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Speaker 2: leave it on the table and often leave the fridge open.

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Speaker 2: I am not joking. I found maggots three times from

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Speaker 2: his mask. I lost it, and I told him to

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Speaker 2: change his behavior completely or to get out. Well, he

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Speaker 2: started doing stuff, but as badly as he could. He

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Speaker 2: would put bowls in the dishwasher so they would be

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Speaker 2: filled with nasty water. Mop with the same water for

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Speaker 2: days on end, leaving it smelling of rots. Do his

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Speaker 2: laundry by putting it in the washer, leaving it for

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Speaker 2: me to finish, and putting food away by throwing it

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Speaker 2: all over the fridge, spilling food everywhere. The best was

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Speaker 2: when he put syrup away upside down on the top

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Speaker 2: shelf with no lid on, coating my entire fridge in syrup.

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Speaker 2: That took hours to clean. Then he would say, I

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Speaker 2: am trying, you were just being a beat. I lost

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Speaker 2: my temperate and I know I couldn't leave him on

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Speaker 2: the street, so I divided the house. The cabinet doors

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Speaker 2: all have locks from the previous owners. So I got

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Speaker 2: him dishes from Goodwill and forbade him from using any

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Speaker 2: of my dishes. He is eating off of his filthy dishes.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm it very clear that anything left on the floors, closing,

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Speaker 2: et cetera, it gets a one day grace period and

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Speaker 2: then it will be thrown away. The same goes for

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Speaker 2: the few dishes he has, as he would leave them

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Speaker 2: in the sink, and so they started to grow mold.

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Speaker 2: I started locking my bathroom door, and he has to

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Speaker 2: use the one in the basement, which I refuse to clean.

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Speaker 2: If his clothes are on the washer for more than

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Speaker 2: eight hours and I need to use it, I dumped

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Speaker 2: them wet on his bed. Any trash he leaves lying

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Speaker 2: around goes on his bed. If he orders food and

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Speaker 2: gets up and he leaves his leftovers, I leaves them

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Speaker 2: to rot and then throw them away. Though twice the

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Speaker 2: idiot left food out overnight and came out and started

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Speaker 2: angrily eating it while glaring at me. Both times, the

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Speaker 2: idiot got food thickness s aw wow.

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Speaker 3: Color me shocked.

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Speaker 2: Dude, ooh, sobody, you didn't You didn't take my go

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Speaker 2: box and put it in the fridge for me? Okay,

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Speaker 2: I do, I do be sometimes leaveing those out, but

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Speaker 2: still but still okay. So he destroyed my fridge again,

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Speaker 2: putting juice upside down with the lid barely on. I

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Speaker 2: mopped it up with towels, dumped the towels and all

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Speaker 2: my ruined food on his bed, then put a lock

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Speaker 2: on the fridge. He hates me and says I'm terrorizing him.

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Speaker 2: I say, I was forced to mother him as a

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Speaker 2: child's but was never given the parental control to actually

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Speaker 2: teach him how life works. Since my brothers used my

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Speaker 2: childhood to treat me like I was a maid, I

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Speaker 2: want no longer parent them. My view is some lessons

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Speaker 2: have to be learned painfully. I will not gentle parent

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Speaker 2: a grown man who cannot close a fridge door? Am

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Speaker 2: I the a hole? And there are some common ages?

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Speaker 2: Whose house is it? Why haven't you punched him out already? OPI,

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Speaker 2: this is downvoted some reason says I am thirty, he

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Speaker 2: is thirty three. This is my house. I guess my

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Speaker 2: family is family. Just got beat into my head a lot.

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Speaker 2: Another commenter said, suggestion put a time limit on his

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Speaker 2: time with you. Either he starts actually working towards a

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Speaker 2: solution and away from weaponized and competence that he's engaged

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Speaker 2: with the juice syrup, or he gets moved out. Is

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Speaker 2: he paying for rent or food utilities? I assume that

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Speaker 2: you'd be fine without any of his additions towards these,

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Speaker 2: because you seemed okay before you invited him to disturb

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Speaker 2: your piece op. He says he isn't paying anything because

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Speaker 2: he lost his job during the VID and he says

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Speaker 2: that he cannot find work. I was letting that go

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Speaker 2: because I was making really good money and didn't need

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Speaker 2: any of it from him. But he needs to contribute

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Speaker 2: something and he is not. I think I will figure

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Speaker 2: out a timeline and tell him that he has to

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Speaker 2: do better or go. I am sure he can find

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Speaker 2: some other woman to raise him. That is his usual

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Speaker 2: move when his girlfriend puts him out. Why she puts

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Speaker 2: up with it, I don't know, but I can't say

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Speaker 2: anything because I do too. And there is an update

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Speaker 2: literally later that day. I cannot believe my eyes when

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Speaker 2: I opened up read it and saw the number of notifications. Wow.

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Speaker 2: So just to update everyone. Things came to a head today.

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Speaker 2: I had to work the early shift and had a

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Speaker 2: session with my table tonight at six I was dming

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Speaker 2: a few DMD gamers. I begged my brother to keep

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Speaker 2: the living room clean. I came home and the house

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Speaker 2: was more trashed. I mean, it looked like a bomb

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Speaker 2: went off. He even dropped a cup of milk on

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Speaker 2: the floor and left it. Oh, that's like the most

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Speaker 2: rancid smell. Ever he left it left milk is so

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Speaker 2: I flung the whole milk jug at his head and

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Speaker 2: screamed at him to GTFO. He tried to bulk up

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Speaker 2: on me and I lost it, screaming get out over

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Speaker 2: and over and over. I cleaned up the milk, then

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Speaker 2: jumped online to message everyone to cancel and saw these

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Speaker 2: seven hundred plus notifications. Y'all gave me some really good advice,

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Speaker 2: and I knew reading those replies last night that this

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Speaker 2: was over. I was gonna give him a few weeks,

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Speaker 2: but seeing that milk all across my new floor was

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Speaker 2: the last straw. I don't know where he's going. I

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Speaker 2: don't care. Thank you all. I love read at people

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Speaker 2: end of updates, But gut check, do we agree?

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Speaker 1: Should we throw milk at people? No, even even when

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Speaker 1: we're mad, even when we're crying over said milk that

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Speaker 1: is spelt. But there is a breaking point for every man,

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Speaker 1: woman and child. And I think this this milk spiller

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Speaker 1: definitely pushed. Oh he passed the break point. We've had

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Speaker 1: this a couple of times. This stream I think justified

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Speaker 1: a whole like you're push and also like it is

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Speaker 1: it is a reasonable thing to want someone out of

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Speaker 1: your place.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think specifically on kicking him out like that day.

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Speaker 2: I think, like you know, she offered her home, didn't

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Speaker 2: have to. He terrorized her in her own home with

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Speaker 2: with his with his nicsiness, And it's like, once you

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Speaker 2: do something like that, your your repercussions have actions. Hey,

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Speaker 2: if you want to literally destroy my house, you've destroyed

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Speaker 2: your chances of saying. Commenter says, really, why are you

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Speaker 2: doing this? I absolutely do not have sympathy for you.

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Speaker 2: You really can't be that dumb. Opie says, jokes on you.

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Speaker 2: I really can be well. No, I think growing up

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Speaker 2: how I did, my family was just pushed into my

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Speaker 2: head and all the old ladies used to say that

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Speaker 2: men couldn't help it. In my church, if you yelled

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Speaker 2: at a man for any of this, you would be

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Speaker 2: viewed as insane. Regardless, check my update, he is gone now.

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Speaker 2: Commenter says, it seems like he actively hates her. Right,

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Speaker 2: it's the syrup in the fridge that would have sent

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Speaker 2: me over the edge. What a pain in the butt

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Speaker 2: to clean, Opie said, it was horrific to clean because

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Speaker 2: I was gone for three days and by the time

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Speaker 2: I got back, it was like molasses. I ended up

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Speaker 2: having to shove all of the fridge drawers in my

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Speaker 2: bathtub and scrubbed them all falling. I was so upset.

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Speaker 2: Commentary response, I would be willing to bet so much

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Speaker 2: money that he listens to Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan

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Speaker 2: and thinks that men and women should stick to strict

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Speaker 2: gender roles, which men are always conveniently exempt from. Holding

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Speaker 2: up there, part of your brother is a piece of

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Speaker 2: crap ope. He says he adores Ben Shapiro and Tates,

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Speaker 2: but thinks that Joe Rogan is a little bee that

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Speaker 2: needs to pick a side. He's also super into Nick

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Speaker 2: Fuentes too. However, you say his name? His favorite one

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Speaker 2: is the guy that got in trouble for screaming at

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Speaker 2: his pregnant wife. I can't remember his name. That's his favorite?

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Speaker 1: Is it Charlie Kirk?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: I feel like I remember.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a Fox News guy.

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Speaker 1: Is it a Fox or maybe? Oh?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Oh oh oh?

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Speaker 1: Is it a.

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Speaker 2: Tucker carl said?

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Speaker 1: Is it Tucker Carlson?

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Speaker 2: I think it's Tucker. Another commentary said she was conditioned

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Speaker 2: as a young child to accept crappy behavior from men.

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Speaker 2: Even putting in this boundary is likely a big step.

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Speaker 2: Of course. I hope she takes from the thread that

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Speaker 2: he's abhorrent and she doesn't need to accept this behavior,

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Speaker 2: though I get why she thinks that she can't just

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Speaker 2: punt him out, even though she can and she should. Hope.

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Speaker 2: He says, this is one hundred percent and my church.

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Speaker 2: If you complain about men not cleaning, people think you're insane.

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Speaker 2: I posted this ten thousand percent thinking that I would

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Speaker 2: get roasted for being a bee loll and the comment

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Speaker 2: to response, I'm so sorry. Honestly, that sounds like a

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Speaker 2: really toxic culture. I would try to find more left

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Speaker 2: leaning church, but I understand that might not be possible

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Speaker 2: in your area. Ope, he says, I left the church

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Speaker 2: in the area. I'm way lived up now a little,

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Speaker 2: and when he called me needing place to go, I

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Speaker 2: think I regressed a lot. But we have another update.

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Speaker 2: Oh four days later. Hello everyone. I considered leaving the

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Speaker 2: situation with my brother at the original post, but this

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Speaker 2: post is blown up. It's being covered outside Reddit, so

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Speaker 2: I figured I should tell you guys what has happened.

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Speaker 2: The start. I know a lot of people seemed incredibly

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Speaker 2: perplexed I even allow this this. All I can really

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Speaker 2: reply is that I grew up in a very toxic environment.

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Speaker 2: There are Mormons, and not the modern kind. When I

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Speaker 2: was a kid, I was not allowed to wear pants.

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Speaker 2: My child, if you asked a man to clean, you

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Speaker 2: would be looked at like you were insane, And if

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Speaker 2: you got mad at a man being messy, it would

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Speaker 2: even be implied that you could possibly be corrupted spiritually

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Speaker 2: for attacking the original design. Obviously, after I left the church,

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Speaker 2: I understood that things are different. But I'm not as

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Speaker 2: heeled as I thought. I obviously need a lot more therapy.

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Speaker 2: I also got a few posts asking why I didn't

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Speaker 2: include that I am autistic in my posts. This is

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Speaker 2: because it's just not relevant. Here the actual update my

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Speaker 2: brother is missing an action for anyone who missed it.

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Speaker 2: The day after the post, I came home to a

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Speaker 2: trash house a glass of milk spilled all over the

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Speaker 2: floor that had obviously been there for a while. I

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Speaker 2: lost it on him, lugged the milk jug at his head,

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Speaker 2: thankfully missing, and screamed at him over and over to

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Speaker 2: get out. He tried to square up to me, but

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Speaker 2: I screamed so loud it was hard to talk. The

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Speaker 2: next day, I think he got almost ripped my door

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Speaker 2: into doing it. I had to replace the hint. I

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Speaker 2: knew some people wanted me to sue him, but during

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Speaker 2: this whole situation, I was confronted with a health scare,

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Speaker 2: just some weird looking moles, but I was still worried,

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Speaker 2: so I did not want to deal with that. He

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Speaker 2: left get this and went to the house of his

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Speaker 2: nineteen year old girlfriend. Apparently he met this girl when

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Speaker 2: she went to the bar for her eighteenth birthday. I

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Speaker 2: had no idea what was going on, but all of

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Speaker 2: my brothers did to recap. He had a baby with

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Speaker 2: his girlfriend of eight years this month, and the editors

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Speaker 2: note this girlfriend of eight years is different than the

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Speaker 2: nineteen year old girlfriend currently. I told them all to

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Speaker 2: f off of My mom message me crying because no

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Speaker 2: one knows where your brother is. He just left with

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Speaker 2: some girl. I told her I did not care. I

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Speaker 2: did call me crazy message the girl to tell her

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Speaker 2: he is bad news, but she called me a crazy

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Speaker 2: punt and blocked me. I also messaged the girl's mom,

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Speaker 2: who seems worried but basically said she cannot do anything

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Speaker 2: because her daughter is a legal age. I guess they

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Speaker 2: took off and skipped town and will not tell anyone

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Speaker 2: where they are. Outside of worry for this girl, I

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Speaker 2: don't really care. I am too busy chilling with my

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Speaker 2: ex and my wonderful niece. I am going to take

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Speaker 2: care of my health and focus on my life. So

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Speaker 2: this next update is eight days later to catch you up.

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Speaker 2: My brother's a pig. He destroyed my home. This led

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Speaker 2: to me figure out my whole family kind of things,

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Speaker 2: and he ended up leaving with his barely legal girlfriend,

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Speaker 2: leaving his newborn baby and his ex whom he was

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Speaker 2: cheating on. He was cheating on him. Okay, there you go. Well,

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Speaker 2: after all of this, I have not talked to anyone

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Speaker 2: in my family at all, but kept in contact with

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Speaker 2: his ex and have been spending a lot of time

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Speaker 2: with the baby. I never liked his ex. She was

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Speaker 2: with him for a reason, but I think the only

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Speaker 2: reason they lasted for years instead of my brother's usual

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Speaker 2: couple of weeks or months before the girl runs screaming

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Speaker 2: is because she is in a lot of ways like him.

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Speaker 1: Ah, two peas in a poe or two cloths cut

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Speaker 1: from the same larger cloth.

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Speaker 2: And they spilled. Then they spilled that cup and it's

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Speaker 2: all over the floor and he's not going to clean it. Ooh. Now,

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Speaker 2: Even knowing all that, I kept in contact like a

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Speaker 2: dummy because I felt so awful over the kid being

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Speaker 2: left the baby, I secretly think they are doomed because

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Speaker 2: of their goofy parents. I know how horrible it is

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Speaker 2: to think that I wanted to be a positive force

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Speaker 2: in the kid, the new baby's life. Well, my brother

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Speaker 2: found out somehow that I've been around the kid and

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Speaker 2: somehow got my new number, which totally perplexes me because

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Speaker 2: no one in my family has it. He called me

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Speaker 2: and cried that he doesn't want me around the kid

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Speaker 2: because I will never do to this child what I

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Speaker 2: did to him, And that left me confused because when

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Speaker 2: he left, he declared his ex must have cheated and

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Speaker 2: the child wasn't his. They clearly are, so why is

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Speaker 2: he saying his child and I have never done anything

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Speaker 2: to him. I was made to be his mom, which

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Speaker 2: is crazy also because he's older, but never even given

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Speaker 2: the authority to correct him. So I spent my life

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Speaker 2: chasing after him, leaning up his mistakes whilst he tormented

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Speaker 2: me and treated me so horribly I ended up literally

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Speaker 2: medically diagnosed with PTSD. I asked him what I did

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Speaker 2: to him, and he said, I always judged him, and

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Speaker 2: even when he was a kid, I looked at him

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Speaker 2: with judgments. But you're so judgable. Yeah, well, why you

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Speaker 2: have so many judgeable you allege to store you since

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Speaker 2: syrup upside down without a cap.

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Speaker 1: That should be judged.

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Speaker 2: You know, what are we supposed to do with that?

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Speaker 1: We're supposed to judge, That's what we're supposed to do.

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Speaker 1: Do we say, hey, don't do that. Don't do that

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Speaker 1: because are you a silly billy? I don't want to

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Speaker 1: use language like that, but yeah, that's that's.

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Speaker 2: A little bit much, Sam. Honestly, that's yeah.

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Speaker 1: You know, but you're you're you're really pushing me to

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Speaker 1: my head, you're cutting me to my quick, You're you're

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Speaker 1: goooning me like no other.

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Speaker 2: So I hung up on him right there, because lowell,

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Speaker 2: I judged him. No, duh. I could fill books and

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Speaker 2: books with all the bad choices he has made and

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Speaker 2: all of the horrible things that he's also done to others.

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Speaker 2: But the time he could talk, it seemed like all

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Speaker 2: he cared about was hurting others and offending others, and

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Speaker 2: he has never been actually punished for anything. I was

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Speaker 2: the only one who judged him, and after his actions,

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Speaker 2: he rightfully should be in jail. If the worst thing

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Speaker 2: he suffered was his judgment, I mean, lowell, I have

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Speaker 2: suffered way worse, often at the hands or because his choices.

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Speaker 2: Cold truth is, if it wasn't for my judgment and care,

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Speaker 2: he would be gone from od about a billion times.

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Speaker 1: The judgment kept him on the straight narrow or welcome.

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Speaker 1: I saved your life, saved you. I think you owe me,

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Speaker 1: You owe me a life debts, dude, he was your mind.

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Speaker 2: Come on, he would have called the wrong person a

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Speaker 2: slur and found out the hard way. The only thing

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Speaker 2: that kept him alive was me trailing after him, fixing

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00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:28,040
Speaker 2: mess after mess. He's he's more tightly wound than someone's hoodie. Honestly,

339
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Speaker 2: I don't even this man needs to be tied up.

340
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Speaker 2: He needed he needs to be put in a straight

341
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Speaker 2: jacket and and you know what, op he needs to

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Speaker 2: get untangled from the brother m. Let's talk about that

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Speaker 2: for a second.

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Speaker 1: It's too much, too much, there needs to be, there

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Speaker 1: needs to be, there needs to be boundaries.

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Speaker 2: But he apparently talked to his ex and she has

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Speaker 2: blocked me and told me that I'm never allowed to

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Speaker 2: mess up their child like I messed up him. I

349
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,880
Speaker 2: do not need anyone to tell me she is appealing

350
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Speaker 2: to my brother to try and win him back, and

351
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Speaker 2: that this is too deeply broken, messed up. People blaming

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Speaker 2: their shortcomings on me because it's easier than looking in

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Speaker 2: a mirror. No, by the way, if you've looked into

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00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,960
Speaker 2: a mirror today and said, hey, I'm slumped over, I

355
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:11,400
Speaker 2: have a hoodie wrapped around me, so too. I'm too

356
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:15,560
Speaker 2: cozy even, But I need content to keep me going. Spotify,

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Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts Search, okay, Storytime two thousand podcast episodes. Don't

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Speaker 2: know what else?

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Speaker 3: John?

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Speaker 1: How many episodes?

361
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Speaker 2: Is that that is more episodes than hair on your

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Speaker 2: pretty little head?

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Speaker 1: I hope not.

364
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Speaker 2: Anyways, Opie says, I felt something snapping me and it

365
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,840
Speaker 2: was like all my care, anxiety, and worry drained out

366
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Speaker 2: of my body. I don't care about this in the morning,

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Speaker 2: I don't care about this anymore, or any of them.

368
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,240
Speaker 2: I changed my number again, limited my contact list even more,

369
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Speaker 2: and when I can, I am moving I will not

370
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Speaker 2: be providing any more updates on him or my family

371
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Speaker 2: because I do not care about these people anymore. I

372
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,920
Speaker 2: do not plan to have contact again. Thank you for

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Speaker 2: all the help. And there were some comments, did X

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Speaker 2: give brother Opie's number? She actually didn't have my number.

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Speaker 2: I figured she would give him my number whenever I

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Speaker 2: changed it. I told her I lost my phone and

377
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Speaker 2: couldn't replace it immediately. I take an iPad to school,

378
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,440
Speaker 2: so she was just calling me on my Facebook messenger.

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Speaker 2: So everyone keeps saying that she was the one to

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Speaker 2: give my number. You didn't have it, and that is

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Speaker 2: all that was written. That was all that was written,

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00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 2: ladies and gentlemen. Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow

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Speaker 2: wow wow.

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Speaker 1: Family man, you can't live them with them.

385
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:24,159
Speaker 2: And that's it. You just can't live with them.

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Speaker 1: I can't live with them.

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Speaker 2: How are you doing over there? Sam? The time in every.

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Speaker 1: Man's life, the world just beats him down and then

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Speaker 1: beats him off. Oh god, I'm right.

390
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:41,680
Speaker 2: Between those two. Oh god, he's given options premium service.

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Speaker 1: My family keeps excluding me from important moments. I finally

392
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Speaker 1: realized when I was excluded from that important moment.

393
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Speaker 2: We figured it out. That was alone.

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Speaker 1: Sad I thirty four female, have two sisters, all called

395
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Speaker 1: Sally thirty one female and Be twenty eight female. I'm

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Speaker 1: close to both or thought I was. Be got married

397
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 1: a few years ago and has been having fertility issues.

398
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,760
Speaker 1: She and her husband finally conceived through IVF and I

399
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Speaker 1: was ecstatic for her when I found out she was pregnant.

400
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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Lobster Lopside in sixty

401
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,920
Speaker 1: thirty eight. If you want to submit your own stories,

402
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,240
Speaker 1: good r slash Okay storytime. There have been a few

403
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 1: times with the years where I felt purposely left out

404
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 1: of things. I was the only one who never got

405
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 1: an invitation to Be's graduation. She thought I wouldn't want

406
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,840
Speaker 1: to go, but our grandfather passed away. They had a

407
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,080
Speaker 1: big family get together a few days later, and I

408
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,160
Speaker 1: was the only one not invited. They didn't think i'd

409
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,919
Speaker 1: want to go again. When Bee had her baby shower,

410
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 1: she organized it on a day when she knew I

411
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to attend. Although upset at missing out,

412
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 1: I dropped off at my parents a beautiful hamper full

413
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 1: of things I've been buying for the baby and being

414
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,439
Speaker 1: included a handmade blanket that one of my aunts who

415
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,160
Speaker 1: recently pass admitted from my little boy when she found

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00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,760
Speaker 1: out I was pregnant six years ago. Throughout her pregnancy B,

417
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 1: she has said that the day she had a baby,

418
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 1: she only wanted our parents and her husband's parents to

419
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Speaker 1: visit the hospital, and that they wanted the first twenty

420
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,640
Speaker 1: four hours at home by themselves, no visitors. Totally understandable

421
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 1: and fine by me. B had multiple medical complications throughout

422
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 1: her pregnancy, which has meant she has to have an

423
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 1: early C section. I spoke to BE the day before

424
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 1: and told her my day was clear at work, but

425
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,480
Speaker 1: not a lot on and that if she needed me,

426
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 1: she knew where I was and that I couldn't wait

427
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 1: to hear from her. We didn't know the gender anything,

428
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:35,120
Speaker 1: so I was excited.

429
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Speaker 2: On the day.

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Speaker 1: I got a Facebook call around one pm from B

431
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 1: in which she and my dad introduced me to my

432
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,920
Speaker 1: beautiful matphew. I was delighted. B then handed the phone

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00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,479
Speaker 1: to mom as a nurse came in. My mom then

434
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 1: informed me that Sally was there. My joy turned the devastation.

435
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 1: I asked my mom why I hadn't been invited to

436
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 1: the hospital too. She said because I was working, they

437
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 1: hadn't thought I'd be able to go. I told her

438
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 1: that was an issue for me to deal with, and

439
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 1: that if I'd asked, my manager would have let me

440
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 1: leave to enjoy the moments my family, but instead they

441
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: were all enjoying that beautiful moment without me. Again, I

442
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: hung up in tears for my mom. I've removed myself

443
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 1: from the family group chat. I spoke to my manager

444
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 1: at work, who said she would have definitely let me

445
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,879
Speaker 1: leave for the afternoon, and shock my family had done that.

446
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:29,479
Speaker 1: I messaged my mom afterwards and told her how. Her

447
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 1: response was, I'm sorry you feel that way. My manager

448
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 1: said she's gaslighting me and that my feelings are absolutely valid,

449
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 1: But was I overreacting? Am I the a hole for

450
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 1: hanging up on my family? After Thursday, I didn't hear

451
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 1: anything from my family. Oh until the day Sunday. I

452
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,399
Speaker 1: was scrolling through Facebook and saw that all of my

453
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 1: brother in law's family were at the hospital on Thursday too,

454
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 1: so the only people not invited were myself, my significant other,

455
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,360
Speaker 1: and my son. I message my mother after I saw

456
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 1: this and explained how it was now even more upset

457
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 1: and asked what I've done her response was that I've

458
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 1: done absolutely nothing, not to my sister or anyone. She

459
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 1: tried making out that Sally went to the hospital of

460
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 1: her own revolition, which I do not believe. He would

461
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,199
Speaker 1: not have just turned up.

462
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 2: She would have asked.

463
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 1: My mom said that because I was working, they'd assumed

464
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: I couldn't get I'm off and explained I manage my

465
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: work and how I manage it is up to me.

466
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 1: If they asked and I declined, that would be another

467
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 1: matter entirely. Anyway, I've told my mother I'm going low

468
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 1: contact now. This isn't the first time I've been excluded,

469
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,199
Speaker 1: and I'm deeply hurt by their actions.

470
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 2: That is it for now.

471
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to focus on my little family and my

472
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,359
Speaker 1: in laws, who I saw today and we're very loving

473
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 1: and supportive. And we got another update. John Ah, I

474
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 1: mean to get straight into it. Yes, Be contacted me

475
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 1: last night. She said she didn't remember ever telling me

476
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,119
Speaker 1: that no one was allowed at the hospital, and that

477
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 1: then that the plan was always for all of her

478
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: in laws to go, and that she had already had

479
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,880
Speaker 1: a conversation with Sally about her going too. She said,

480
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 1: I must have miss hurt. I generally reminded her that

481
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: my skiff and mother had been sat in the room

482
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 1: at the same time. He had said no one at

483
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,880
Speaker 1: the hospital other than parents, so couldn't see how he'd

484
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 1: both misunderstood that that the first thing he had said

485
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 1: to me when I told him Sally was at the

486
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 1: hospital was she said, no one other than yours or

487
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 1: brother in law's parents. She then said she had been

488
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 1: upset that I hadn't reached out to her after the

489
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: FaceTime called to check on her and the baby, and

490
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 1: that she'd refused to chase me. I told her that

491
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 1: I had no idea what had been going on, whether

492
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 1: she'd been discharged or anything, and that as a new mom,

493
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,200
Speaker 1: I figured she wanted some time, which is understandable. I

494
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: didn't expect her to chase me. She told me that

495
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 1: they've had to go back to the hospital daily since

496
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 1: they were discharged, as the baby has been poor. I

497
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: told her I'm sorry about that. I genuinely am, and

498
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 1: that I hope he gets better soon. She asked me

499
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: when I'm going to see the baby. I told her

500
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 1: I didn't know and that would depend on anation. He

501
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 1: told me the invitation is open, but that she's feeling

502
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 1: really storm bruised at the moment, understandable and doesn't know

503
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 1: how she's going to feel, so that I need to

504
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 1: put some time aside and check with him first if

505
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 1: we did want to go through. I laughed at that

506
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 1: in the end, as it was gone past ten pm

507
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: and I needed some sleep. I'm honestly not too sure

508
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: what to do. I spoke with my sitting here for

509
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 1: another last night, who laid his thoughts and feelings down,

510
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 1: which is total no contact, but that he will support

511
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: me whatever I decided to do. And we have another update.

512
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: We're about halfway through. Oh God, another update.

513
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 2: Give it to me.

514
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 1: I messaged be back and told her that when she

515
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,920
Speaker 1: was feeling up to it, let me know a day

516
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: and we would go through. He left me on red

517
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 1: and didn't respond. That's fine. I'm letting her get on

518
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: with it. As for my mom, she's been sending messages

519
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: and trying to FaceTime me. I've barely been responding to

520
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: her messages. I haven't heard anything from Sally or my

521
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 1: dad in the last two weeks, and this evening my

522
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: mom FaceTime. I wouldn't have answered it, but my son

523
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: was next to me and got giddy when he saw

524
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 1: his grandmother pop up on the phone. So did also, Yeah,

525
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 1: it's sad. It's like, you know, he has a relationship

526
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: with his grandma, but they're being so terrible to Opee.

527
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 1: That's it's really hard to even have that relationship with

528
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 1: the whole family.

529
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 2: We got to put grandma on a nursing home. Put

530
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 2: grandma in a nursing home, put her, put her in

531
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 2: a room, locked the door.

532
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: Yep, throw away the key.

533
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 2: I don't know where the key is.

534
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 1: You tried to act all normal and nicety, nice, but

535
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 1: I was blunt. I could tell she was a miffed

536
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 1: at the end of the call, and I was still

537
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 1: being off with her. After the call, I messaged her,

538
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't have done it, but I did, and it's

539
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 1: done now, and told her that until I got a

540
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,120
Speaker 1: proper face to face apology, and this is the way

541
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: it's going to be. He messed me back and said

542
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 1: she's apologized. Loads she sent that I'm sorry you feel

543
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 1: that way, and one message that did say that she

544
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 1: was sorry, but in the middle of all the other

545
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: waffle that came with it, and nothing face to face,

546
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: and I told her that she'd tried to gaslight me

547
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: the first time and only tried to apologize once over text.

548
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,719
Speaker 1: She facetimeed me again and told me that she had

549
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 1: not tried to gaslight me and she was sorry that

550
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,360
Speaker 1: I felt that way, and I quote, you just let

551
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: your feelings get the better of you. I told her again,

552
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: and that no, that is not an apology, that my

553
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: feelings are valid. He then said she was sorry, turned

554
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: on the water works and told me she couldn't do

555
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 1: this anymore. Hung up. So yeah, that's up to this point.

556
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 1: Other than that, I've been good, just focusing on my

557
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: son and significant another, my day to day stuff with work,

558
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: et cetera. Actually been okay, sort of come to terms

559
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: the fact that I'm not going to have that close

560
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 1: knit of relationship with my family anymore. But that's okay.

561
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: I have my signfferent other, my son and my in laws.

562
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 1: They are the ones who need to be the important

563
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: people in my life. In an update four, for the

564
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 1: last few weeks, a lot has happened my mom and dad.

565
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 1: I both apologized and we're working on a relationship. Whether

566
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: you agree with that or not, that's the decision I've made.

567
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: Sally also came to see me and we talked the

568
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: whole situation like adults. We both apologized to one another

569
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,879
Speaker 1: for how we made the other feel, and we've been

570
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: okay since. Not back to normal, but better than it

571
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: was well. Sally was at Mie. She suggested I'd be

572
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: a bigger person and reach out to be. After a

573
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 1: few days and mulling over her words, I messaged Being

574
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: told her I would be taking my son to see

575
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,199
Speaker 1: her parents today. She said she would come through see us.

576
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 1: My son's another and I got to my parents this

577
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 1: morning for ten am. We had to leave at eleven

578
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 1: thirty am, and we've had other things going on today.

579
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 1: Forty five minutes later, B shows up with her baby,

580
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: now five weeks old. My mom asked B to let

581
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: me hold him. Be refused that we needed to talk first,

582
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: which was fine. The comment on the baby asked hell

583
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 1: they were all doing? Even gave her a gift that

584
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: me and my supre other had picked up the other week,

585
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: just stuffed boy, nothing crazy. B gave one word answers,

586
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 1: with my mom failing in all the other details. At

587
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 1: one point, BE handed the baby to my mom and

588
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: left the room for about ten minutes. My mom asked

589
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 1: me to go see her, I refused. She barely acknowledged

590
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 1: any of us. She came to the house. She came

591
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 1: back in and again barely As we were packing up

592
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,959
Speaker 1: to go, B said she was sorry for being quiet,

593
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 1: that she was feeling awkward after five weeks. We said

594
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 1: that I'd upset her by not contacting her to check

595
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,119
Speaker 1: on her and the baby. I told her that I

596
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 1: knew he had a lot on being a new mom

597
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 1: and the baby is exclusively bad, not a lot of sleep,

598
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: and that she was recovering from surgery and I hadn't

599
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 1: wanted to hound her. He started shouting at me, calling

600
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: me ridiculous, and that's not what sisters do, that sisters

601
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: are there for one another. I had hurt her feelings.

602
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 1: He continued to shout at me whilst holding her baby.

603
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 1: But how she never said I couldn't go to the hospital,

604
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: and I misconstructed and construed what she had said, and

605
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: that she doesn't know how this will be fixed. I

606
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 1: see if another mom. Dad tried to diffuse the situation

607
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 1: by saying they could see both sides and that even

608
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 1: though we were frustrated with one another, he needed to

609
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 1: calm down and just talk. Be then started shouting at

610
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 1: my parents, saying she was sick of them taking my side.

611
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,880
Speaker 1: At that point, I couldn't even say anything. My son

612
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 1: was in the room, picking up on the frustration and

613
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 1: anger from Bee and asking to go. I told my

614
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: family we were leaving. My mom and dad followed us out,

615
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 1: and I broke down. I got there are my mom

616
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: asked me to go back inside. I couldn't. I was

617
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: too angry and needed to remain calm for my son

618
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 1: and for the drive home. Be came to the door

619
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 1: with baby that she didn't want me to go like this.

620
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: I told her I tried, and all she had done

621
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 1: was shouted. My significant other tried to get me to

622
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 1: turn around and go back, but I couldn't bring myself

623
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:25,479
Speaker 1: to I was so upset. I just wanted home. By

624
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 1: the way, the best home for you, for anyone, man, woman,

625
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 1: child dog is the Okay Storytime podcast. Listen to full

626
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 1: episodes with stories just like this. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

627
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 1: or your favorite podcast app and search Okay Storytime. Well

628
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: there's another little update. Oh so my mom rang me

629
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: when we got home, asking if I was okay. I

630
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: broke down again and said no, that I cried, but

631
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,479
Speaker 1: all b had done was shout at me and tried

632
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: making me out to be the liar. You take an

633
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: absolute Lee's zero accountability for what she said to me

634
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 1: and my secreting bother all those weeks ago. My mom

635
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: and did actually both commended me. We're staying so calm

636
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: whilst b I shot it. I told my mom I

637
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: refuse to be a parent who loses it in front

638
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 1: of her kid, and in order for me to remain calm,

639
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: I'd need to leave my mom and see if another

640
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: say I should contact be again once I've calmed down,

641
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: But I honestly don't even know what even say at

642
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: this point. So yeah, for those that are interested in

643
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: any of this, that's where.

644
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 2: We are right now. Boom wow boom.

645
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, there were sisters.

646
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 2: In that story, for sure, were sixers. There were some

647
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 2: hot ducks.

648
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

649
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 2: Here.

650
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

651
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. My sister won't let

652
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: me attend her wedding because my dress is the wrong color.

653
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: Is it white? It's nude. My oldest sister, Elaine, thirty one, female,

654
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 2: is marrying her fiance of four years, Stephan thirty five

655
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 2: male in October twenty twenty two. I twenty five female,

656
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 2: am the youngest of our four sisters and have always

657
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 2: felt we were close growing up. By the way, this

658
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 2: comes from Annabelle, and if you want to submit your

659
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the arsash Okay Storytime start about it.

660
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: So in May, Elaine asked our second sister, Gabriella twenty

661
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 2: nine female, to be her maid of honor, which made

662
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 2: sense since they've always been especially close. My third sister,

663
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: Celia twenty six female, and I expected to be bridesmaids

664
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 2: as well, but instead Elaine chose to include Stephan's daughters

665
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 2: Tiffany twelve female and Sasha, eight female, to be in

666
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 2: the bridal party. While we were a little disappointed, we

667
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 2: ultimately respected that it was her special day. But in July,

668
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 2: while visiting our mom, I overheard Elane and Gabriella discussing

669
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 2: wedding plans. Excited for my sister's big day, I asked

670
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 2: about the wedding colors and Elaine mentioned that she wanted

671
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 2: something bespoke and non traditional for her dress, which I

672
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 2: thought suited her style. Still, I assumed it would be white,

673
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 2: but Since I wasn't a bridesmaid, I had no way

674
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 2: of confirming this color choice. When I texted Gabriella to ask,

675
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 2: she ignored my messages, saying it was supposed to be

676
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 2: a surpose. Well by August, I decided to play it

677
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: safe and I ordered a simple, me length, asymmetrical white

678
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 2: dress online. Before purchasing, I sent a picture to Gabriella,

679
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 2: who should note the colors, I see you this, but

680
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 2: she left me on red. I then asked Celia for

681
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: opinion another sister, and she reassured me that since the

682
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 2: dress wasn't floor length, it should be fine to wear.

683
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 2: When the dress finally arrived last week, I thought I

684
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 2: was all set until everything took a turn. Well after

685
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 2: my dress ride, I sent pictures to everyone and a

686
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 2: Lane completely freaked out. She called me seven times while

687
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 2: I was at work, and when I finally answered, she

688
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 2: yelled at me, saying that I was an awful sister

689
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 2: for stealing the spotlight from her new stepsisters. Apparently, Tiffany

690
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 2: and Sasha, her little kiddos, were supposed to be the

691
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 2: only ones wearing yellow, so they would feel special now.

692
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 2: I told Elane that if I ordered another dress, it

693
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 2: wouldn't arrive in time, but she insisted I go to

694
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 2: a bridle store and buy a different one. I explained

695
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 2: that I'd already spent fifty dollars on the dress and

696
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 2: wasn't willing to drop another two hundred dollars on a

697
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 2: boutique dress maybe trying not being poor. She called me

698
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 2: selfish and said that I shouldn't bother attending her wedding

699
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 2: if I didn't change my outfit. Now the rest of

700
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 2: the family is saying, I'm the bad guy for taking

701
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 2: away attention from two little girls on their dad's wedding day,

702
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 2: and I should just stink it up for my sister

703
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 2: really quick. I just have to ask, could she just

704
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 2: not have another dress? Like, like, is there a dress

705
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 2: in her closet that would work? I mean, I guess

706
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 2: that's not a wedding dress. I don't know what, Like,

707
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 2: you just need a wedding dress. She just needs a

708
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 2: bride's maid dress, right, she's not even a brideman or

709
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 2: just I don't know, a different chat. That's what That's

710
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 2: what I'm saying.

711
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: She needs a different rest.

712
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I feel like that should be possible.

713
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 2: I think so, I mean, it's it's kind of on

714
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 2: OPI asked everyone for the for the dress colors, and

715
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 2: no one got back to hers, so that's on every I.

716
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: Guess maybe Op wants to like wear a specific thing

717
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: for the wedding, but yeah, I don't know. It's got

718
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: me feel like it's got me feeling like.

719
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 2: This, ooh, like this ooh. Many have suggested I could

720
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: go to Goodwill to find another dress. I actually offered

721
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 2: this to a Lane, but she refused, saying this is

722
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 2: my wedding, not a ball. Mart I also suggested wearing

723
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 2: an old pink homecoming dress.

724
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: I feel like she's giving pretty good. I feel like

725
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 1: this woman is just being difficult.

726
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 2: We're getting to solutions. But Elaine shot that down too,

727
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 2: because Gabriella is wearing pink, Well, what colors are left?

728
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 2: Stacy is wearing purple? Great?

729
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: You know where would I feel like we're getting get

730
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: into bride' the military.

731
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: We're getting into bride the lilitariy Drey, and she didn't

732
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 2: want us dressed to like even though Celia was already

733
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 2: wearing a similar pink dress. I could try to thrift something,

734
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 2: but Elaine insists she wants to pick the dress herself.

735
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: To make sure I don't ruin her wedding after dyeing

736
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 2: my yellow dress. I don't want to risk spending another

737
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: fifty dollars on fabric die just for to turn out wrong,

738
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 2: leaving me out one hundred dollars and still without something

739
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 2: to wear my sister's wedding in early October. Elaine's wedding

740
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 2: was this past Tuesday, and as many people suggested, I

741
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 2: wore my old homecoming dress, which was a pink knee

742
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 2: high length dress. In the days leading after the wedding,

743
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 2: my mom and Elane called the non Stop to tell

744
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 2: me that if I wore yellow dress, I wouldn't be

745
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: allowed into the wedding, and that Elaine should be the

746
00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 2: one to pick my dress from a bridle shop. As

747
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 2: many people suggested, I told Elaine that if she wanted

748
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 2: to pick my dress, she could pay for it to

749
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 2: Elaine became extremely annoyed with me for my response, as

750
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:09,880
Speaker 2: it was disrespectful to her personally as a bride quote unquote,

751
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 2: and that I should be more understanding about how expensive

752
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 2: weddings are. I reminded her that she was the one

753
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 2: who wanted a large black tie wedding and that no

754
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 2: one forced her to be so controlling over colors and outfits.

755
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 2: Elaine then proceeded to block via text, but clearly told

756
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 2: our family what I said, because I continued to receive

757
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 2: texts from our mom and Gabriella, who told me I

758
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 2: was rude and that the wedding planning is stressful and

759
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 2: I should be more accommodated. Now, I told my mother

760
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,280
Speaker 2: and Gabriella that if Elaine wanted to be so controlling

761
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 2: about my dress, she could pay for it, or I

762
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 2: would wear my old homecoming dress. We have solutions that

763
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 2: are free. That shut up both my mom and Gabriella,

764
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 2: and I didn't hear anything else about the topic of

765
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 2: dresses from them until the morning of Elaine's wedding. So

766
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,280
Speaker 2: on the day of Elaine's wedding, I waited ten minutes

767
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 2: while my mother refused to send me the directions to

768
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: the wedding venue because.

769
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,760
Speaker 1: Wait, sure they're icy, they're icing her out. That's crazy,

770
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: this is crazy, that's crazy, this is and she said

771
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 1: she couldn't do it because she didn't know how.

772
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 2: Eventually I gave up with my mom and as Celia

773
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 2: to send the direction instead, because clearly our mom wanted

774
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 2: me to miss the wedding. At this point, I considered

775
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: not attending the wedding at all, but I figured if

776
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 2: I attended, my family couldn't say that I lacked effort

777
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 2: or as being penny towards my sister. Now, when I

778
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: arrived at the wedding venue, most of the guests were

779
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 2: already there. As I said, Elaine planned to have one

780
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 2: hundred people at her wedding, and since she hadn't specified

781
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 2: that no one should wear yellow, there were at least

782
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 2: ten people present wearing yellow. Yeah, of course, one of

783
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 2: whom was Stephan's mother aka the grandmother of the two

784
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 2: little girls in the wedding wearing the yellow dress. And

785
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 2: the whole point was no one.

786
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,440
Speaker 1: Was allowed to wear yellow other than them to make

787
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,240
Speaker 1: so I'm just making problems. They're making problems.

788
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 2: Palms are being made, no solutions are being accepted. But anyways,

789
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 2: the real drama started when the rest of our extended

790
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 2: family arrived at the wedding. My mother's brother began talking

791
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 2: to me and said that he was glad that I

792
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,959
Speaker 2: managed to get a new dress and that the yellow

793
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 2: wasn't my color anyways, So I asked him if he

794
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 2: thought it was a appropriate for his sister, my mother

795
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 2: to wear white on her own daughter's wedding, to which

796
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 2: he didn't reply. I got dirty looks from the other

797
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 2: family members and mean comments about how cheap I was

798
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 2: and how much audacity I had to ask the bride

799
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 2: to pay for my dress. At that point, I figured

800
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,280
Speaker 2: I could stink it up for a few more hours

801
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,799
Speaker 2: just to see Lane get married, and then I could

802
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 2: drop off the wedding gift at the reception. By the way,

803
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:24,399
Speaker 2: if you want the greatest gift ever, something better than

804
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 2: your marriage, than your children, better than anything you'll ever

805
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 2: find in your life, and that's one hundred percent guarantee

806
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,280
Speaker 2: and promise, yep, go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, your favorite

807
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 2: pod app and search what sam Okay story time for

808
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 2: two thousand episodes to twenty two hundred episodes, as Frank

809
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 2: the Pug told me, twenty two hundred episodes of amazing,

810
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,280
Speaker 2: incredible content that you can binge to your heart's content.

811
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 2: We were about to get into the grand finale of

812
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 2: the story and it could get ugly, let's see it,

813
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 2: or beautiful. At the wedding reception, Elane came up to

814
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 2: me and pulled me aside. She told me that since

815
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 2: she didn't think I would come to the wedding, she

816
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 2: had canceled my meal and that I owed her one

817
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 2: hundred and ten dollar if I wanted to eat at

818
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 2: her wedding, since it cost one hundred and ten dollars

819
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,359
Speaker 2: per head to book, even if like she was gonna

820
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 2: spend one hundred and ten anyways.

821
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, like so it doesn't make any sense. Also, like

822
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: you don't make your guests pay for your food unless

823
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 1: saga that you explicitly say that beforehand, you can't like

824
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: recoup it after.

825
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 2: Especially your sister. My god, I asked her why she

826
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,400
Speaker 2: had anticipated her own sister not attending her wedding, and

827
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 2: she made it out like it was my fault. I

828
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 2: told her that I didn't have to deal with this,

829
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,320
Speaker 2: and that if this is how she wanted to be,

830
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 2: she can consider herself no longer. My sisters all at

831
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 2: the wedding. I left a Lane's wedding immediately and took

832
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 2: my gift with me. It was just a bottle of

833
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,439
Speaker 2: wine and a card. My family texted me NonStop about

834
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: how petty it was, how jealous I am of a Lane,

835
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 2: et cetera, et cetera. So Reddit was right. My sister

836
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 2: was trying to exclude me from her wedding. Thank you

837
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 2: for that. I will now be going no contact with

838
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,240
Speaker 2: the Lane and my mother for their favorites.

839
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 1: Honestly, definitely definitely go low contact.

840
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:59,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was them collaborating to get you kicked out

841
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,479
Speaker 2: of the wedding. It's crazy, so whack, so whack.

842
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 5: My sister in law disrespected my boundaries.

843
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 3: I wandered a lea get at it here.

844
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 5: So after a lot of back and forth, I finally

845
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 5: decided to share this picture.

846
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 4: This.

847
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,280
Speaker 5: I'm twenty five and I've been married to my husband

848
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 5: twenty six for almost two years now. He's an American

849
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 5: citizen and I immigrated from India in twenty twenty two.

850
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 5: This is important because when I told my parents I

851
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 5: wanted to marry him, they completely cut me out of

852
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:32,240
Speaker 5: their lives.

853
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: WHOA.

854
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from old Fennel five one

855
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 5: two nine, And if you want to spend your own stories,

856
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 5: go to our slashowk his story time separate it so

857
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 5: I'm only in touch with my younger brother, and the

858
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 5: rest of the family sent me voice messages saying I

859
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 5: never existed to them. It was really tough on my

860
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 5: mental health. I was already struggling with a lot of

861
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,439
Speaker 5: issues that never got diagnosed while I was in my parents' home,

862
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,720
Speaker 5: so you can imagine how I was not exactly stable

863
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 5: after my whole world shattered just because I wanted to

864
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 5: marry the man I love. On top of that, I

865
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 5: was also in the middle of my immigration process, which

866
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 5: took longer than expected, and I wasn't allowed to be

867
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,800
Speaker 5: legally employed until it was over. It seemed like I

868
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 5: couldn't catch a break. I was in bed all day

869
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 5: and felt like I had lost my purpose. But through

870
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 5: it all I had my husband. He's been the most loving,

871
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 5: caring and understanding person ever, more than I could have

872
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,479
Speaker 5: ever asked for. You took the wheel with our home,

873
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:35,240
Speaker 5: our pets, the finances, and my mental wellness, everything without

874
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 5: a complaint. We still have our arguments, especially when I

875
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 5: get anxious or panic attacks from some memory of the past.

876
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 5: There's a lot there. My natural response has always been

877
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 5: to defend myself and shut down or run away. I

878
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 5: was mistreated from age five to twenty two, so we fight.

879
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:55,320
Speaker 5: I'm not a great person. When I get like that,

880
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 5: I throw things, mostly to get some feeling back in

881
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 5: my body to stop feeling numb. I yell, but I

882
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 5: haven't heard anyone around me. I like to mostly keep

883
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 5: to myself and be alone. That is definitely something that

884
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 5: you should check like check like you need to check yourself.

885
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:15,240
Speaker 5: Shouldn't be throwing things at or near people, uh, because

886
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,280
Speaker 5: that's not okay. That is not a way to healthily

887
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 5: communicate and can't lead to more dangerous forms.

888
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 3: There are better forms of expressing your anger.

889
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 5: After a little while, I fall asleep and when I

890
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 5: wake up, my husband and I have a conversation and

891
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 5: solve it out. It's usually my trigger of PTSD or OCD,

892
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 5: so he knows it's not his fault and I just

893
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 5: need time. I know I would never blame him for

894
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 5: anything he saved me. So at the end of February

895
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,279
Speaker 5: this year, my husband's older sister, who's thirty six, went

896
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 5: through a breakup with her then boyfriend and the dad

897
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 5: of her kid. She didn't have her own place, money,

898
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 5: or cars, so she asked if she could crash with

899
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 5: us for a while. We knew she'd been dealing with

900
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 5: her own mental health stuff and we wanted to be

901
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 5: there for so my husband and I opened our home

902
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,280
Speaker 5: to her. We gave her the guest bedroom and bathroom

903
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 5: to use. She moved in with some stuff first, and

904
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 5: then within the first week everything she owned was under

905
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 5: our roof. Now here's the thing. It wasn't organized or

906
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 5: put away in closets, cabinets or drawers. It was just

907
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 5: thrown around our living room, her room, and the bathroom.

908
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 5: When she moved in, she promised to clean up around

909
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,240
Speaker 5: the house to help, but she didn't pay rent because

910
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 5: she didn't have a job. She said she was going

911
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 5: to look for a job too. At the time, we

912
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 5: didn't mind too much because if she was going to

913
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,240
Speaker 5: clean up, it would be a huge help for us anyway.

914
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 5: But guess what not a that never happened? Of course, Yeah,

915
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 5: this's always happens. You bring somebody into it, then yeah,

916
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 5: they don't help out. In the middle of all this,

917
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,360
Speaker 5: we have planned a trip to Arizona for a wedding.

918
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 5: She convinced my husband to put her on his car insurance. Ah,

919
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 5: so we didn't have to park our car at the

920
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 5: airport while we were gone and it would be cheaper. Well, no,

921
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 5: it wasn't going to be cheaper, but she needed the

922
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 5: car to run errands. For herself and stuff while we

923
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 5: were gone anyway, so my husband gave it. Hey, but

924
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 5: here's the thing. While we were gone, while we trusted

925
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 5: her to take care of our home. While we were away,

926
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 5: she brought home a strange man she picked up at

927
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,399
Speaker 5: the bar and did the deed with him in our bed.

928
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 3: That's gross, that's really weird.

929
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 5: Why in your bed?

930
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 3: You have your own bed, and get this.

931
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 5: She kept these details from us when we came back,

932
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 5: I she washed the sheets.

933
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:34,320
Speaker 3: Let's just not get into those details.

934
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 5: The only thing I knew about it was that they

935
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 5: did it twice that night. I didn't ask for this

936
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 5: detail either. It was just dumped on me. He's like.

937
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:45,240
Speaker 5: She spent her days crying, texting her ex, and barging

938
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 5: into my husband's workplace he works from home. She would

939
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 5: also sneak into my study to vent or try to

940
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 5: convince me to go to the bar with her. I

941
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 5: tried to explain that I don't drink much and I'm

942
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 5: not really into going out, but she didn't seem to care.

943
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 5: She even asked my friends to try and convince me

944
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 5: to go if I didn't give in. Things got even

945
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 5: worse when she would randomly show up in our bedroom

946
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:10,839
Speaker 5: at midnight or one am without knocking on the door

947
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 5: to talk to us, no matter what we were doing.

948
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 5: It was like she didn't respect our privacy or personal space.

949
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 5: Just a few days before our trip to Arizona, I

950
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 5: got a nasty text from my parents and it completely

951
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 5: broke me down again. I curled up on my bed

952
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 5: and cried all day. I didn't know what else to do.

953
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 5: I even tried to hurt myself, which I'm not proud of.

954
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 5: I'm working on myself one day at a time. My

955
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 5: husband was also there to comfort me and bring me

956
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 5: back from the sadness. His sister tried to get involved

957
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 5: when she wasn't needed. She came into our room, sat

958
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 5: next to me on the bed, and tried to hold me.

959
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,359
Speaker 5: I appreciated it the next day because it was still

960
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 5: kind of her, but later I found out that she

961
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 5: wasn't being very nice or noble about it at all.

962
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 5: So three weeks in and I had another breakdown. It

963
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 5: wasn't a big deal to start with. I was looking

964
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,880
Speaker 5: for something, and amidst all the mess she had created,

965
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 5: I couldn't find a thing. My mind was foggy because

966
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 5: of all the clutters she promised would be gone a

967
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 5: week ago. I lost my cool and yelled at my

968
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 5: husband for not saying anything to her. I was unreasonably angry,

969
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 5: but I need things to be clean. He didn't deserve

970
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 5: me screaming at him. I knew it. I just couldn't stop.

971
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 5: Like I said, I'm working on it. The frequency of

972
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 5: these breakdowns has reduced a lot, but I still have

973
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 5: some ways to go. She tried to get involved in

974
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 5: the situation again and yelled back at me, asking why

975
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 5: I married her brother if I had such problems with them.

976
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 5: That's where I got really angry and asked her to

977
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,800
Speaker 5: leave my house. She had no right to get in

978
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 5: the middle of my husband. To me, she had no

979
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 5: right to ask why I married him when she was

980
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 5: the root cause of the issue. She didn't leave that day,

981
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 5: as she went back to her room and locked herself there.

982
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 3: Oh I'm a little moody.

983
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 5: Teenagers like bye, don't come in here, no adults allowed.

984
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 5: My husband later told me that he had a talk

985
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 5: with her about cleaning up her stuff and asking before

986
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 5: using our things like the car, and knocking before entering

987
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 5: our rooms. It really feels like they're parenting this girl.

988
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 4: It really is like at one at one day or

989
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,320
Speaker 4: one night, she is a five year old, like just

990
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 4: coming in to talk to the parents, and then the

991
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 4: next day she's a moody teenager.

992
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 5: Literally, those boundaries and rules lasted for four days. For

993
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 5: in those four days, she texted multiple people that our

994
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 5: home felt like a present to our On day four,

995
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 5: while my husband and I were having breakfast, she marched in,

996
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 5: saying she wanted to self harm. She even texted that

997
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 5: to her other sister, who called nine one one to

998
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 5: do a wellness check. They took her to a seventy

999
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 5: two hour hold. That's when things got really ugly.

1000
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 3: That's when things got ugly.

1001
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 4: Oh no.

1002
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 6: My husband was constantly called by the psychiatrist for updates.

1003
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 6: His sister would also call him daily, demanding He convinced

1004
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 6: the doctors to discharge her. It's I mean, if you

1005
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,839
Speaker 6: say concerning things, people are going to want to make

1006
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 6: sure that you don't act on those concerning things. She

1007
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,439
Speaker 6: insisted that everything was fine and that she was only

1008
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 6: saying all that because she needed someone to talk to.

1009
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 6: When my husband refused and told her to stay and

1010
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:20,840
Speaker 6: get the help she needed, she yelled at him and

1011
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 6: reminded him that at least she wasn't hurting herself like

1012
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 6: I did, like op he did. She tried to guilt

1013
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 6: trip my husband into getting her discharged, using my mental

1014
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 6: health against him. He broke down, After all, he's a

1015
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 6: twenty six year old taking care of his thirty six

1016
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 6: year old sister who lacks empathy, of respect, and common sense.

1017
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,760
Speaker 6: My husband and I had had eno f you decided

1018
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 6: to tell her that she wasn't welcome here anymore because

1019
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 6: we no longer wanted to be disrespected on a daily

1020
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 6: basis for trying to help someone.

1021
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 5: That angered her even more. That is when I confronted

1022
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:58,320
Speaker 5: her about using our bed. She was upset that I

1023
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 5: asked her ex about it. In my defense, she gave

1024
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 5: me a disgusting detail about that incident, but not the

1025
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 5: one that mattered the most, and enough time had gone

1026
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 5: by for her to be able to tell either my

1027
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 5: husband or me, but she had it. I had to

1028
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 5: ask someone to confirm my gut feeling. I reminded her

1029
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,320
Speaker 5: that she had the time to tell us and it

1030
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 5: was a pretty disgusting thing to do for her. She

1031
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 5: kept telling us that she would replace our mattress. Why

1032
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 5: is it so bad that you need to replace the mattress.

1033
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,720
Speaker 5: That she would have told me if I had asked

1034
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:35,720
Speaker 5: her directly what. But I don't buy any of that anymore.

1035
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,280
Speaker 5: I find it difficult to trust anything that she says.

1036
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 5: That same that's the same day she got discharged from

1037
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 5: the facility. Now she's texting other family members that I'm

1038
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 5: a harmful wife. Everyone needs to check on my husband

1039
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 5: and his well being. She told my husband that one

1040
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 5: day he will want to leave me and realize that

1041
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 5: his sister was the only one trying to look out

1042
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 5: for him. And we're looking out for you when we

1043
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 5: tell you you should listen to full episodes of stories

1044
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 5: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1045
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 5: iHeart Radio and search a pokey story time. But there

1046
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 5: is a little bit left to the story.

1047
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:12,399
Speaker 2: Now.

1048
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 5: I know I have flaws. I'm not perfect. I get

1049
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 5: unreasonably upset about small things that trigger me, but I've

1050
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 5: never physically harmed anyone. I'm also really working on myself

1051
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 5: to get rid of these negative feelings before we can

1052
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 5: start a family. I never want my children to have

1053
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 5: the childhood I did, so I guess what I want

1054
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 5: to know is is she right? Am I the ale

1055
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 5: for evicting her when she's dealing with her own stuff.

1056
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 5: Was I supposed to be more understanding about her messes

1057
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 5: because she's gone through troubled times, even if it was

1058
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 5: causing my mental health to deteriorate.

1059
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 4: So I think the way we went about this wasn't

1060
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 4: the best way because should be done by your husband.

1061
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 5: Well, it should have been done by I've your husband

1062
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 5: going to his sister, or by you going to your

1063
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:04,839
Speaker 5: husband and having a calm conversation.

1064
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 4: Literally took the words right out of my mouth because

1065
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 4: that's his sister. He should be the one confronting her,

1066
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 4: not you. But again, what was it a week even

1067
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:15,720
Speaker 4: a week in? They didn't he didn't say anything.

1068
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, But also I mean, if op's not saying anything

1069
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 5: until she's full screaming, that's that's an issue. Like you

1070
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 5: need to be able to have a conversation, and it

1071
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 5: does seem like you're working on it, like you did

1072
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:30,840
Speaker 5: say that. But uh, definitely a lot of this probably

1073
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 5: could have been avoided if we had had more.

1074
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 3: Of a talk of a talk rather a bottle in.

1075
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 4: Yes, did she overstep her boundaries one trillion percent, but

1076
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 4: it seems like there was it was zero to one

1077
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 4: hundred and no leeway, no middle way of like middle ground.

1078
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 4: It was just I want her out after she you know,

1079
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 4: is trying to it was like little jabs, little jabs.

1080
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 4: Then it made you explode, made you pop. Yeah, another

1081
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 4: thing I do want to you know, kind of just

1082
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 4: focus on a little bit. I know Opie's been saying

1083
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 4: that she's been like trying to work on herself, but

1084
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:10,479
Speaker 4: I think I think she needs to really seek some help,

1085
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 4: seek some therapy on you know, she's like, I've been

1086
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 4: working on myself. It seems like she's been doing it

1087
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 4: by herself.

1088
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, if you've been doing it by yourself,

1089
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 5: then definitely get a therapist. I didn't super really like that.

1090
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,359
Speaker 5: I was assuming that she had a therapist. But if

1091
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 5: she doesn't, yeah, absolutely need to go to therapy because

1092
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 5: this is not okay behavior to be taking into a relationship,

1093
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 5: regardless of where it came from. Like you can be

1094
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 5: understanding of she's very much background, yeah where she is,

1095
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 5: but definitely your husband does not deserve to be yelled

1096
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,919
Speaker 5: at and like have things thrown around if not, yeah,

1097
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 5: if not at him, around him.

1098
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 4: I've been planning my wedding four ages but my mother

1099
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:55,960
Speaker 4: in law is trying to hijack it.

1100
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 5: Hijack this bow.

1101
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,359
Speaker 4: I twenty nine female, and my fiance, twenty nine male,

1102
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 4: are getting married next year. He and I have known

1103
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 4: each other since pre k Damn dated in a high

1104
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 4: school senior year, broke up before college Classic Classic, then

1105
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:15,879
Speaker 4: got back to get then got back together five years ago.

1106
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 4: We are super close to both of our families, and

1107
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:21,760
Speaker 4: this wedding will be around two hundred people with about

1108
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 4: eighty percent family and twenty percent rent. By the way,

1109
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 4: this comes from user Rose Cobbler thirteen and if you

1110
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, submit them to the

1111
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,880
Speaker 4: r slash. Okay storytime separated. So his dad and my

1112
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 4: mom are the baby boomer generation, so we have a

1113
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 4: ton of relatives. It shows we live very close to

1114
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 4: both of our parents. Is our twenty minutes away and

1115
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 4: mine are ten minutes away, so we see them fairly often.

1116
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,359
Speaker 4: I've always felt intimidated by his mom because she has

1117
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:53,439
Speaker 4: that my way or the highway attitude towards most things.

1118
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 3: This is very important. I have never really had an

1119
00:51:57,840 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 3: issue with her, but I have always felt like she

1120
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,360
Speaker 3: resents me for breaking up with her son after we

1121
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 3: graduated high school. For context, he was going to school

1122
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 3: across the country and I was going to school locally,

1123
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:10,320
Speaker 3: and I did not want to do a long distance.

1124
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 3: We were also seventeen at the time, and we were

1125
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 3: still very immature.

1126
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:16,359
Speaker 5: Yeah that's I mean, that's just how it goes.

1127
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:20,439
Speaker 4: But this happens a lot. This happens more than you think.

1128
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 4: This is a very like typical thing. When we got

1129
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:27,879
Speaker 4: back together, everyone was pretty surprised, especially his family. Their

1130
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 4: first family party. Everyone was pretty much asking about how

1131
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 4: it happened, and we were pretty vocal that this was

1132
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,440
Speaker 4: it for us, and we were pretty much set on

1133
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 4: getting married eventually. At the time, I was furloughed due

1134
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 4: to the BID and the halt of live events. My

1135
00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 4: fiance and I both work in this industry, so we

1136
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 4: weren't itching to get married right away. We really started

1137
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 4: talking seriously about when my fiance was hospitalized last year

1138
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 4: and he didn't really want to wait anymore. This was

1139
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 4: also about the time I started being more forward with

1140
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 4: his mom. He had a stroke, Oh my god, and

1141
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 4: she was making comments of about my weight to him.

1142
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 4: Shout out to the real MVP because he told her

1143
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:08,120
Speaker 4: to mind her own dang business. Says, I get enough

1144
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:09,760
Speaker 4: body shaming from my mom.

1145
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:12,879
Speaker 5: Never the time, but like especially not the time when

1146
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 5: he's just had a stroke. Why are you commenting on

1147
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 5: his yance's body?

1148
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 4: Fast forward to when when he got engaged. He proposed

1149
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 4: to me on Christmas Day in front of his parents

1150
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:24,279
Speaker 4: and sister in our house. He originally was going to

1151
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 4: propose before that, but I had gotten sick and ruined

1152
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 4: his plans.

1153
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,120
Speaker 5: It's like, it's all your fault. I had to propose

1154
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:30,720
Speaker 5: on Christmas.

1155
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 4: Now everyone knows that I've been planning this wedding forever.

1156
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:39,320
Speaker 4: We had many conversations before he proposed on what we

1157
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 4: wanted and who we wanted in our bridal party. I

1158
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 4: have known colors and dates and decor, and so I

1159
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 4: was ready to get started right away. I set up

1160
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 4: a preliminary venue to her and invited both our parents

1161
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 4: to come with us. This was just to get a

1162
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:55,960
Speaker 4: feeler about budget and the process, but the venue was

1163
00:53:56,040 --> 00:54:00,399
Speaker 4: not what we wanted. However, this was literally the first

1164
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 4: day we were getting into planning. All the stuff I

1165
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 4: had before was just a vision board. That's cute, Get

1166
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:07,760
Speaker 4: a vision board for your wedding.

1167
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 5: Gotta have that pinterest.

1168
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,320
Speaker 4: When we got home, his mom had texted us and

1169
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 4: asked us about our wedding party. We we said we

1170
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 4: weren't really asking anyone until we locked down a date

1171
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 4: end venue, but that most of our bridal party pretty

1172
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 4: much knew who they were. My bridal party, my sister,

1173
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 4: my best friend, and four other closest friends. His bridal party,

1174
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 4: his best friend, his cousin, his college roommate, and three

1175
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 4: closest friends. My nieces are also flower girls, and my

1176
00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 4: nephew is our ring bearer. When we told his mother

1177
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:41,879
Speaker 4: who was in our party, she kind of flipped out

1178
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 4: because I was not including his sister twenty six female,

1179
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:49,280
Speaker 4: as of one of them. For us, this was on purpose.

1180
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 4: His sister and my brother were going to have special

1181
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 4: parts in our wedding, and we thought this was pretty

1182
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 4: fair because doing or reading to highlight them was better

1183
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 4: than not having them included at all. I was also

1184
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 4: going to include her in most of the bridesmade fun

1185
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,800
Speaker 4: like bacherlourette and getting ready as the baby in my

1186
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,320
Speaker 4: family I always wanted as a little sister, and so

1187
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:13,320
Speaker 4: I have treated her like family always. She's also the

1188
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 4: type of person who does not take offense to anything

1189
00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 4: and would be happy to be a part of the

1190
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 4: wedding in any way.

1191
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 5: Oh so she's not because I thought she was gonna

1192
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 5: be like she was the one who was upset and

1193
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 5: complaining to the mother. But it seems like the only

1194
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 5: person who has a problem with this is the mom.

1195
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 5: Like this sister doesn't even care.

1196
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 3: Mom's doing the emotions for yourself.

1197
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 5: She's like, I know that your sister's upset, and the

1198
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 5: sister's like, no, I'm good. She's like, I know deep

1199
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 5: down that she's upset by.

1200
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 4: This, but his mom wanted to hear none of that.

1201
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 4: She said I was going to hurt some feelings. And

1202
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,840
Speaker 4: I said we were having them do their own separate speeches,

1203
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 4: which was a much bigger role in my opinion than

1204
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 4: being a bridesmaid. This is where the drama happened.

1205
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 5: Yoh, not good.

1206
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 4: She texts my fiance on the side that she will

1207
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:02,640
Speaker 4: keep her mouth shut on most stuff with the wedding,

1208
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 4: but this is something she would not keep her yap

1209
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:09,920
Speaker 4: shut on. I know full well that it is our

1210
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 4: wedding and it is my bridal party, and that if

1211
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 4: my fiance told me he would be hurt to not

1212
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 4: see his sister up there next to me. Then I

1213
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 4: would totally ask her to be up there with me,

1214
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 4: but he and I already decided on our bridal party

1215
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:26,840
Speaker 4: years in advanced. He responded back to her, telling her

1216
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 4: that he was not having my brother in his party,

1217
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 4: that them doing speeches was a very special part of

1218
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 4: our wedding and that we had put a lot of

1219
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 4: thought into it. When my brother got married, I was

1220
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:39,720
Speaker 4: not a bridesmaid and they had me do my own speech.

1221
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:43,400
Speaker 4: I was also not including my sister in law brother's

1222
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 4: wife as a bridesmaid because she and my brother in

1223
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:48,240
Speaker 4: law have already agreed to help out with their kids

1224
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 4: on the day of the wedding.

1225
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:53,040
Speaker 5: I would understand why people would expect a sibling to

1226
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:57,839
Speaker 5: be a part of their own siblings bridal or wedding party, right,

1227
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 5: but to expect the opposite partner to include them when

1228
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 5: it's they might not have that close relationships.

1229
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 3: Is that spot's reserved for my sibling to be your

1230
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 3: rides maid.

1231
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,160
Speaker 5: That doesn't make any sense. It should be all of

1232
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:14,239
Speaker 5: their closest, you know, friends and family members up there.

1233
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 4: We were already making plans to talk to his sister

1234
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 4: the next day and get her take on it well

1235
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 4: before we wanted to ask anyone, but also because we

1236
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,000
Speaker 4: thought we owed it to the person whose feelings matter

1237
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 4: the most in this conundrum. We already knew her response

1238
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 4: was going to be whatever makes us happy, because guess what,

1239
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 4: it's our wedding, but we never got to the next

1240
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 4: day to ask her. His mother texted him that night

1241
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 4: that she will pull any monetary contribution if we did

1242
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 4: not make his sister a bride.

1243
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:49,680
Speaker 5: Say what is she doing? Why? Oh, that's the thing.

1244
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 5: She definitely seems like the person who was like, oh,

1245
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 5: I would love to help contribute to the wedding. I

1246
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 5: would love to help, and then uses that as a

1247
00:57:57,760 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 5: way to control.

1248
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 4: This made me mad, not because of adding her, but

1249
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 4: because she backed my fiance into a corner and gave

1250
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 4: him an ultimatum. At this point, we had not put

1251
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,439
Speaker 4: any money into the wedding, and when I told my mom,

1252
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:13,919
Speaker 4: she said, fine, then we will just contribute whatever they don't,

1253
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:18,240
Speaker 4: which respect because my parents are not well off, but

1254
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:22,439
Speaker 4: they love my fiance. My fiance never wanted a large

1255
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 4: bridal party, and I had to really push for six

1256
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 4: because these were my closest friends, so going to seven

1257
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:32,680
Speaker 4: was never an option. I reluctantly agreed, but now everything

1258
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,959
Speaker 4: feels really off. She made us keep this from his sister,

1259
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 4: and even though we are back down to six and

1260
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 4: six for our bridal parties other drama with one of

1261
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 4: my friends, I still feel like it took the special

1262
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 4: out of it. The petty and me told my fiance

1263
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 4: that this means she will not have a speech during

1264
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 4: our wedding, and that it would and that it was

1265
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,640
Speaker 4: his mother's only freebe say. He was okay with that,

1266
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 4: since it would be no longer fair to have her

1267
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 4: do multiple things and would be awkward for her to

1268
00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 4: step out of the bridal party line just to speak.

1269
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 4: He gave me forty eight hours to get all my

1270
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 4: feelings out before we stop talking about the topic, which

1271
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 4: I have been good about not saying anything. But it's

1272
00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 4: been four months and I'm still not over this. We

1273
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 4: still haven't officially asked anyone in our parties yet, partially

1274
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 4: because of this, but all my bridesmaids know about what

1275
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 4: happened and have my side. They're your bridesmaids, as they should.

1276
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 4: And by the way, you can have our side by

1277
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,520
Speaker 4: listening to full episodes with stories just like this, by

1278
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:31,160
Speaker 4: going to Spotify, Apple Podcast or your favorite podcast app

1279
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:34,920
Speaker 4: and searching. Okay, storytime, there is a little bit more

1280
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 4: to the story. But Sophia, where are we at?

1281
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 5: I well, it seems like you're kind of trying to

1282
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 5: I don't know, you said, oh, to be petty. I

1283
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 5: don't want her to have speech. Why are we being

1284
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:46,920
Speaker 5: petty towards the sister? She hasn't done anything.

1285
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 3: She also doesn't know about this. She sid doesn't know.

1286
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:52,760
Speaker 5: It's like, don't be petty towards his sister's she's not involved.

1287
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:53,920
Speaker 2: Uh.

1288
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think you're trying to get back at the

1289
00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:00,520
Speaker 5: mother in law, but she's already won. Yeah, not really

1290
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 5: a way to get back at her without trying to

1291
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 5: take it out on other.

1292
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 4: People or make things even more stressful for you. Yeah,

1293
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 4: and your fiance, which I doubt you want.

1294
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:08,439
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1295
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,280
Speaker 3: Where the heck was the conversation with the sister and

1296
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:14,439
Speaker 3: the mom Like with the brother, sister and mom.

1297
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 5: Well, it seems like the mother in law was you

1298
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:18,479
Speaker 5: can't tell her or I'm taking away the money.

1299
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 4: A part of me still wants to talk to his

1300
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 4: sister and ask her what she wants. Yeah, she's a

1301
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 4: person too. I think you should Yeah, The problem is

1302
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:31,400
Speaker 4: his parents have already given us money for a vendor deposit,

1303
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 4: and so now I feel like we can't really change anything,

1304
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 4: even if we haven't asked anyone officially yet. A part

1305
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 4: of me thinks she will find out eventually, and so

1306
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:40,720
Speaker 4: I want to talk to her about it. I also

1307
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 4: am worried that his mom has already told her that

1308
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 4: she is going to be a bridesmaid and will ruin

1309
01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:49,520
Speaker 4: the proposal plans. I have made any advice on if

1310
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:51,560
Speaker 4: I should just get over it and leave it alone,

1311
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 4: or should I talk to her?

1312
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,120
Speaker 3: And there is an edit edit.

1313
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:57,960
Speaker 4: I feel like I should clarify my mother in law

1314
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 4: is not evil. She was a tea for forty years,

1315
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 4: and so she comes off like a retired teacher who

1316
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 4: has dealt with a lot of craft for years. She

1317
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:08,040
Speaker 4: doesn't walk all over me, nor do I let her.

1318
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:11,400
Speaker 4: I've stood up for myself on several occasions. My problem

1319
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 4: isn't with her, but the situation she put me in

1320
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:17,160
Speaker 4: with my sister in law or future sister in law

1321
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 4: in this case.

1322
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 5: Well, and then yeah, your problem is kind of with her,

1323
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 5: which is fair. She's making problems, but he's like, my

1324
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:28,160
Speaker 5: problem is not with her, it's how she's behaves, her behavior,

1325
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,000
Speaker 5: it's like, no, the problems with.

1326
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 3: Her, the problems with her.

1327
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 5: Uh, And I think you have to talk to your

1328
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 5: partner and say like, hey, we I mean maybe maybe

1329
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 5: not for this wedding, but going forward, we have to

1330
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:44,760
Speaker 5: realize any like monetary help that she's got to give

1331
01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:46,800
Speaker 5: us is coming with the strings.

1332
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 4: Because guess what if this is the basis for you

1333
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 4: going into your wedding. Yeah, what say in the future, Yeah,

1334
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:59,080
Speaker 4: with any monetary things, she's gonna give you an ultimatum

1335
01:01:59,120 --> 01:02:02,280
Speaker 4: for everything. You're like, you gotta I know you said,

1336
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:04,880
Speaker 4: I've put my my fences up with her, I've stuff

1337
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 4: for myself.

1338
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:06,840
Speaker 2: This is your wedding.

1339
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is one of the biggest days of your life.

1340
01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 4: This is something that you should stand up for and

1341
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:16,880
Speaker 4: maybe you just talk not even like oh, attack, but

1342
01:02:17,240 --> 01:02:22,160
Speaker 4: just hey, sister mother in law, Beyonce, this is what's

1343
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:22,480
Speaker 4: going on.

1344
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:23,439
Speaker 3: This is how I feel.

1345
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I want to be in the winning Did you

1346
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:29,440
Speaker 5: even want to be one of my bride's maids?

1347
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John, your og host.

1348
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:31,960
Speaker 5: Here.

1349
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,360
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1350
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:35,240
Speaker 2: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1351
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,680
Speaker 5: My father in law's behavior is unbearable. I had to

1352
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 5: move out.

1353
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:42,480
Speaker 2: Kick that bear and behavior out right now.

1354
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, rock paper scissors, but it's baar behavior and father. Hello.

1355
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:50,640
Speaker 5: My husband twenty eight male, myself twenty seven female, and

1356
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:53,760
Speaker 5: my stepson five male. We're living on my father in

1357
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 5: law's property and a large trailer that we purchased to

1358
01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 5: save money while we save to buy a house. My

1359
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:02,480
Speaker 5: father in law has lots of land. The arrangement was

1360
01:03:02,520 --> 01:03:04,280
Speaker 5: that we got to live in our trailer on the

1361
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 5: property and pay for the properties, electricity, three households and

1362
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 5: a mechanic business run off the property. By the way,

1363
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 5: this comes from true income five seven two seven, and

1364
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:16,040
Speaker 5: if you want to spit your own stories, go to

1365
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:19,800
Speaker 5: our slash ookay storytime separate it. So we of course

1366
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:23,680
Speaker 5: paid for our own heat, propane, groceries, et cetera. It

1367
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 5: was like living in a bigger style tiny ELM. I

1368
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,760
Speaker 5: am extremely grateful for the deal we had. We had

1369
01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 5: saved hundreds of dollars every month, and I will always

1370
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 5: peek grateful for the opportunity we had. I'm grateful for

1371
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 5: father in law and how he let us stay there,

1372
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 5: and I wish I didn't feel so angry towards him,

1373
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 5: but I do, and in my heart, I know the

1374
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:46,840
Speaker 5: only way I will have peace in my life is

1375
01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:50,400
Speaker 5: by staying out of his Some background info on father

1376
01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 5: in law. He is someone who's very set in his

1377
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:56,760
Speaker 5: traditional ways. Women should do all the cooking and cleaning,

1378
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:59,000
Speaker 5: and the men should do all the outside work. He

1379
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:01,720
Speaker 5: also works himself to the bone with outside work he

1380
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:05,840
Speaker 5: finds and creates for himself. He also thinks everyone else

1381
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:09,800
Speaker 5: should work themselves as hard as he does. He's always working,

1382
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 5: but not in a way of loving to work and

1383
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 5: it making him happy. He's miserable and cranky and complains

1384
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:19,120
Speaker 5: about all the work he has to do. If I'm

1385
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:22,160
Speaker 5: being honest, Aside from needing to cut down firewood and

1386
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:25,240
Speaker 5: cut the grass, the tasks he makes for himself are

1387
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:28,440
Speaker 5: things that are a choice. He doesn't absolutely need to

1388
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 5: do them. He doesn't need to work himself miserable. He

1389
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 5: chooses to. I can sympathize, I really can. It's the

1390
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:39,040
Speaker 5: way he was raised, It's how he earned his father's respect.

1391
01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:41,800
Speaker 5: Almost all of this could have been solved if he

1392
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 5: broke any of his generational trauma, but he says he

1393
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 5: knows what's wrong with him, so he doesn't need therapy.

1394
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:51,120
Speaker 5: That's really funny because it's like it's like if you

1395
01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:55,200
Speaker 5: were ill, and you're like, I know that I have

1396
01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:57,160
Speaker 5: a broken arm, so I don't need a doctor.

1397
01:04:57,640 --> 01:05:00,480
Speaker 4: I can wrap it with tape and fine, He'll be

1398
01:05:00,520 --> 01:05:02,640
Speaker 4: fine by tomorrow, and I'll take one of those advills

1399
01:05:02,680 --> 01:05:03,280
Speaker 4: and I'm good.

1400
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 5: However, it's also the expectation he's set up for his

1401
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:10,280
Speaker 5: own children, my husband, his older brother, and younger sister,

1402
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:13,560
Speaker 5: and he constantly is expecting and asking them to fill

1403
01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 5: up any and all of their spare time to help

1404
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 5: them around the property. My sister in law of course,

1405
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:21,960
Speaker 5: was expected to do the inside jobs, cleaning the house,

1406
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,800
Speaker 5: et cetera. If they were busy and unable to help,

1407
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 5: he was mad at them, made fun of whatever their

1408
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:31,040
Speaker 5: plans were that they were doing. The only accepted excuse

1409
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:33,920
Speaker 5: would be that they were already working extra hours for

1410
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:36,919
Speaker 5: their jobs. By the time I was around, my brother

1411
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 5: in law had moved out, so he wasn't affected by

1412
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:43,320
Speaker 5: any of this anymore. However, it created a lot of

1413
01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:45,920
Speaker 5: conflict for my husband and sister in law in their

1414
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 5: day to day lives. For my husband, he was trying

1415
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:50,880
Speaker 5: to spend time with his family. My son and I

1416
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 5: create memories and be there to eat dinner with us,

1417
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:58,000
Speaker 5: just to be there with the family he's created. Anytime

1418
01:05:58,120 --> 01:06:00,480
Speaker 5: my husband chose family time over at sais to work,

1419
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 5: he was the butt of all the jokes and my

1420
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:06,400
Speaker 5: father in law was genuinely mad at him. For example,

1421
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:09,120
Speaker 5: in the summer, my husband told his dad he would

1422
01:06:09,120 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 5: help him with wood at some point. This weekend, my

1423
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 5: husband spent Saturday out with our family, expecting to help

1424
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 5: father in law on Sunday, and when we returned home

1425
01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:21,640
Speaker 5: we were in bed. My father in law called him

1426
01:06:21,720 --> 01:06:25,040
Speaker 5: and yelled at him for not being home that day loudly,

1427
01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 5: angrily for a while. It caused us both a sleepless

1428
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:33,880
Speaker 5: night full of anxiety. Most recently, my husband was doing dishes,

1429
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:37,040
Speaker 5: I mean dish clubs on elbow deep in dishwater, and

1430
01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 5: my father in law came into the trailer and asked

1431
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 5: for help. I already know what his take on this

1432
01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:46,480
Speaker 5: is gonna be. Oh yeah, my husband said. As soon

1433
01:06:46,520 --> 01:06:48,440
Speaker 5: as he was done with the dishes. My father in

1434
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:52,240
Speaker 5: law left and came back five minutes later and started

1435
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:54,560
Speaker 5: saying that our dishes could wait and he needed help now.

1436
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 5: My father in law's family are very outspoken in their

1437
01:06:58,080 --> 01:07:02,360
Speaker 5: opinions and views, even though there's sometimes discriminatory and don't

1438
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:07,400
Speaker 5: align with basic human rights. This I can't sympathize with,

1439
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 5: and I can't stand this kind of speaking anywhere near

1440
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:14,480
Speaker 5: my son. Yes, I said my son. I'm a full

1441
01:07:14,520 --> 01:07:17,560
Speaker 5: time step mom, meaning my son lives with us full time,

1442
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:19,960
Speaker 5: and he is very much my son, and I'm currently

1443
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:23,280
Speaker 5: the only active mom he has in his life. If

1444
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:26,040
Speaker 5: I'm being honest, I've had a sour taste in my

1445
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 5: mouth since over three years ago when my husband was

1446
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:31,960
Speaker 5: filing for a full custody of her son, because bio

1447
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:35,680
Speaker 5: mom is an active user and is a very unsafe

1448
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 5: person for a son to be around right now, not forever.

1449
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:42,320
Speaker 5: I know people can overcome their regular using and there

1450
01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:44,800
Speaker 5: will always be room in our lives or bio mom

1451
01:07:45,560 --> 01:07:49,280
Speaker 5: if she gets better, which I think is very understandable

1452
01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:51,280
Speaker 5: in Paris. You are the full time mom right now.

1453
01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 3: You just want a healthy environment for the child.

1454
01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 5: My father in law said not to do it because

1455
01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:59,200
Speaker 5: it would be a waste of money and he didn't

1456
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:03,400
Speaker 5: think bio mom ever sign how can his grandchild safety

1457
01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:06,040
Speaker 5: ever be something he says is a waste of money.

1458
01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:09,880
Speaker 5: We lived in the trailer for roughly three years. We

1459
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:12,240
Speaker 5: stayed so long because we were given some decisions we

1460
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:15,520
Speaker 5: had to make and decide. Very soon after moving there,

1461
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:17,479
Speaker 5: my husband and I were offered to take over the

1462
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:18,960
Speaker 5: main house and the property.

1463
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:19,360
Speaker 2: One day.

1464
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:22,320
Speaker 5: My father in law has built his mom a two

1465
01:08:22,400 --> 01:08:25,479
Speaker 5: bedroom home on his property, and when she passes on,

1466
01:08:25,720 --> 01:08:28,000
Speaker 5: it was his intent to move into that and leave

1467
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:31,759
Speaker 5: us the main house. That we would pay him rent

1468
01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:33,920
Speaker 5: for the main house, and when he passed, it would

1469
01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:36,080
Speaker 5: state in his will that all the money we put

1470
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:38,760
Speaker 5: into the house would come back to us and we

1471
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:40,439
Speaker 5: would be able to buy out his siblings.

1472
01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:42,760
Speaker 3: If that's true, a pretty good deal, I would say.

1473
01:08:43,280 --> 01:08:46,760
Speaker 4: I would just let his discriminatory remarks and everything, like,

1474
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:49,400
Speaker 4: all right, just one ear out the other. Yeah, that's

1475
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:53,200
Speaker 4: really what's the case. Get this in writing, Yeah, put

1476
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:56,280
Speaker 4: up with that. Sure, give me the house and the property.

1477
01:08:56,439 --> 01:08:58,879
Speaker 4: I'll do that and not, you know, have low contact.

1478
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:02,400
Speaker 5: The catch that we weren't allowed to ever say anything

1479
01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:05,240
Speaker 5: to my husband's siblings. I told my sister in law

1480
01:09:05,360 --> 01:09:09,560
Speaker 5: the same day. We're actually best friends. Oh pee, I'm confused,

1481
01:09:10,200 --> 01:09:13,400
Speaker 5: I'm confused if Op's like saying like, oh the bother

1482
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:16,040
Speaker 5: and you know he had weird rules, or if OP

1483
01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:18,120
Speaker 5: just like was like, I don't know, I'm gonna tell

1484
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:20,879
Speaker 5: her anyway. At the time, my husband was very excited

1485
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:23,040
Speaker 5: about this, not the keeping things from his siblings part,

1486
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:25,880
Speaker 5: but the opportunity to have his childhood home part. He

1487
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,160
Speaker 5: agreed it was something he would definitely like to consider

1488
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:31,760
Speaker 5: and discuss further down the line. I was never very

1489
01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:35,479
Speaker 5: excited about the idea, for reasons listed above and honestly

1490
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 5: so many more. I could write a frickin' book, but

1491
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:40,600
Speaker 5: I stayed open to the idea, and my husband and

1492
01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:44,000
Speaker 5: I constantly went back and forth between what we wanted

1493
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:46,720
Speaker 5: to do. Ask forward to August to September. I'd had

1494
01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:50,560
Speaker 5: enough of the comments of walking on eggshells, of my

1495
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,840
Speaker 5: husband not being able to spend time with us without

1496
01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:55,920
Speaker 5: being given grief, just all of it. I was telling

1497
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,840
Speaker 5: my husband we needed to just get out rent a place.

1498
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 5: The plan could not be that we take over the property.

1499
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:04,479
Speaker 5: I couldn't live in a constant state of anxiety. My

1500
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:07,200
Speaker 5: husband and father in law got into a fight in September,

1501
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:10,120
Speaker 5: and he told his dad we were looking for places

1502
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:13,200
Speaker 5: to rent and we were moving out. He didn't say anything,

1503
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:14,680
Speaker 5: didn't ask about it.

1504
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:15,759
Speaker 2: Nothing.

1505
01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 5: Mid October we found a place and our move and

1506
01:10:19,479 --> 01:10:22,720
Speaker 5: date was November first. My husband told father in law

1507
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:27,120
Speaker 5: and everything went to crap, more to crap than before.

1508
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:30,840
Speaker 5: Father in law had tears grief, asked how we could

1509
01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:35,280
Speaker 5: do this to him. He was mad and sad. He

1510
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:37,799
Speaker 5: then went and told his entire side of the family,

1511
01:10:38,479 --> 01:10:41,960
Speaker 5: and they're all mad at us. Everyone had negative and

1512
01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:44,759
Speaker 5: nasty things to say about us to us and behind

1513
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:48,040
Speaker 5: our backs. Mad at us for moving out, for leaving

1514
01:10:48,120 --> 01:10:51,479
Speaker 5: father in law alone. I honestly still cannot wrap my

1515
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:55,400
Speaker 5: head around it, grown adults, mad at my little family

1516
01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:57,840
Speaker 5: for moving out on our own. My father in law,

1517
01:10:58,000 --> 01:11:01,439
Speaker 5: king of everyone needs to help him ever, once offered

1518
01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:04,000
Speaker 5: to help us lift or move a thing, gave us

1519
01:11:04,120 --> 01:11:06,040
Speaker 5: the silent treatment the majority of the rest of the

1520
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:09,639
Speaker 5: time we lived there. A heck of an experience getting

1521
01:11:09,720 --> 01:11:12,439
Speaker 5: to move into our first real place as a family.

1522
01:11:13,040 --> 01:11:15,240
Speaker 5: But honestly, if you could just get away from I mean,

1523
01:11:15,640 --> 01:11:17,439
Speaker 5: it would have been nice to get the place, you

1524
01:11:17,520 --> 01:11:19,479
Speaker 5: know that he was offering, But if you have to

1525
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:22,080
Speaker 5: deal with his kind of attitude, and.

1526
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:25,839
Speaker 3: Him just being a negative person over over you guys.

1527
01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:27,880
Speaker 5: And well, I mean taking advantage of you, saying, oh,

1528
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:30,639
Speaker 5: well I gave you this, like I'm giving you this house,

1529
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:32,040
Speaker 5: so you have to do what I say.

1530
01:11:32,439 --> 01:11:35,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, my word goes yeah, or you won't get the house.

1531
01:11:35,160 --> 01:11:37,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like you don't want that to be held

1532
01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:40,360
Speaker 5: over you until the day he moves out, Like we

1533
01:11:40,439 --> 01:11:42,439
Speaker 5: don't know when that is. It doesn't seem that he's

1534
01:11:42,479 --> 01:11:45,120
Speaker 5: written anything down, so you don't even know, like he

1535
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:45,960
Speaker 5: might change his mind.

1536
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:48,800
Speaker 3: Oh, that's very true. I would get proof first. Yeah,

1537
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:49,639
Speaker 3: very true.

1538
01:11:49,960 --> 01:11:51,960
Speaker 5: It was supposed to be an exciting time for us.

1539
01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 5: We still made the best of it. I haven't spoken

1540
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,400
Speaker 5: to father in law, father in law's siblings and his mom,

1541
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:01,000
Speaker 5: the main negative gossipers of our move since we left.

1542
01:12:01,439 --> 01:12:04,080
Speaker 5: I didn't say goodbye. I didn't say we'll no longer

1543
01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:07,320
Speaker 5: be coming around here, no word. Just left, and I

1544
01:12:07,439 --> 01:12:10,559
Speaker 5: haven't been back to visit. I haven't attended any family

1545
01:12:10,640 --> 01:12:13,639
Speaker 5: dinners or gatherings. They've asked my husband why, and he's

1546
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:16,120
Speaker 5: told them I'm hurt by their behavior. They called my

1547
01:12:16,200 --> 01:12:18,080
Speaker 5: sister in law to ask and to rant about us,

1548
01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:20,760
Speaker 5: and she's told them why I'm angry and told them

1549
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:23,320
Speaker 5: to not talk to her about it. But you can

1550
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:27,479
Speaker 5: talk to others about listening to full episodes with stories

1551
01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:31,160
Speaker 5: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or

1552
01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:33,439
Speaker 5: iHeart Radio and tell other people to do that and

1553
01:12:33,560 --> 01:12:36,280
Speaker 5: search a bookey story time. But there is a little

1554
01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:38,320
Speaker 5: bit left of the story. Do you have any final thoughts?

1555
01:12:38,960 --> 01:12:40,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, if it's to the driving point, like I mean,

1556
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:43,120
Speaker 4: I said it earlier too, when I said, uh, it's

1557
01:12:43,200 --> 01:12:45,040
Speaker 4: one in more in one ear out the other.

1558
01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:49,280
Speaker 3: But if it's at that point where you can't even think, yeah.

1559
01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:52,280
Speaker 5: It's like you're just anxious all the time, it's not

1560
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:52,920
Speaker 5: really worth it.

1561
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:55,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's opening the door in like a sitcom every time.

1562
01:12:55,640 --> 01:12:58,280
Speaker 4: It's like, hey, guys, stop whatever you're doing and follow

1563
01:12:58,320 --> 01:12:59,439
Speaker 4: what I say. You can't have a life.

1564
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:03,120
Speaker 5: He's creamed, except if Kramer was a demon. A demon. Yeah,

1565
01:13:03,160 --> 01:13:05,840
Speaker 5: but there's a little bit left. They all sent lots

1566
01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:07,719
Speaker 5: of wishes to see me and hopes that I would

1567
01:13:07,720 --> 01:13:11,000
Speaker 5: come at Christmas through speaking to my husband, but I

1568
01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:13,800
Speaker 5: seriously don't want to be around them right now. Maybe

1569
01:13:13,880 --> 01:13:18,920
Speaker 5: ever again, Wow, probably ever again. Wow. However, they do

1570
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:21,439
Speaker 5: seem very hurt and I do feel bad that I'm

1571
01:13:21,520 --> 01:13:24,799
Speaker 5: causing problems. Am I the ale for not saying anything

1572
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:27,600
Speaker 5: before cutting them off? Do I owe my father in

1573
01:13:27,720 --> 01:13:30,679
Speaker 5: law an explanation? Am I being ungrateful and too sensitive

1574
01:13:30,720 --> 01:13:33,320
Speaker 5: in my decision? If you made it this far, I

1575
01:13:33,439 --> 01:13:36,920
Speaker 5: am truly grateful for your time, and that is the

1576
01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:40,080
Speaker 5: end of that story. I don't think you're necessarily the

1577
01:13:40,160 --> 01:13:42,760
Speaker 5: a hole, but I think that you could have a

1578
01:13:42,840 --> 01:13:45,479
Speaker 5: conversation or your husband could have a conversation with them.

1579
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:46,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1580
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:49,080
Speaker 5: The thing is, you might not see them anymore, but

1581
01:13:49,120 --> 01:13:50,639
Speaker 5: they're still going to be a part of your life,

1582
01:13:51,240 --> 01:13:54,240
Speaker 5: even if it's just kind of on the outskirts, because

1583
01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:57,200
Speaker 5: your husband's still communicating with them and your son is

1584
01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:58,519
Speaker 5: still going to be communicating with them.

1585
01:13:58,640 --> 01:13:58,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1586
01:14:00,280 --> 01:14:02,719
Speaker 5: I mean, I think maybe a conversation would be helpful,

1587
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:05,680
Speaker 5: just to tell them, you know, why you're upset with them,

1588
01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:07,960
Speaker 5: why you were hurt by their behavior.

1589
01:14:08,960 --> 01:14:11,120
Speaker 4: I feel like the father in law is not going

1590
01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:14,160
Speaker 4: to have any part of it. Yeah, just he doesn't

1591
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,880
Speaker 4: care whatever excuse you left, you left that you made

1592
01:14:16,920 --> 01:14:21,880
Speaker 4: your decision. But I feel like, just for you know,

1593
01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:26,280
Speaker 4: clarity and for your own sake, just put it out there. Hey,

1594
01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:29,720
Speaker 4: this is why we're leaving. We don't care if you

1595
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:31,720
Speaker 4: don't want to hear it or not, or you're set

1596
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:34,360
Speaker 4: on one mindset. This is why we're leaving.

1597
01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:36,080
Speaker 3: That's that, and that's that.