Speaker 1: I won't let my body out out weigh everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made dope, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know who every part of me.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful and then will always out way if you
Speaker 1: feel it with your hands in the air. She's some
Speaker 1: love to the mood. I am there. Let's say good
Speaker 1: day and did you and die out Hey outweigh fam
Speaker 1: Amy and Lisa here and we have a treat for you.
Speaker 1: It's just me and Lisa today. So it's been a
Speaker 1: while since we've done just an episode Me and Lisa
Speaker 1: the o g Outweigh Girls. We love having guests on,
Speaker 1: but we also love just talking about things in our
Speaker 1: life that are going on. And in case she didn't know,
Speaker 1: or maybe you do know, or you missed it somehow,
Speaker 1: but Lisa is with child, she's pregnant, and so we're
Speaker 1: dedicating this episode into what Lisa has been experiencing and
Speaker 1: you know, food and body type stuff that comes along
Speaker 1: with being pregnant. So hey, Lisa, good to see your face.
Speaker 1: So good to see your face, and will of course
Speaker 1: just want to make mention that you know as I've
Speaker 1: been pregnant and spent more time following different types of people,
Speaker 1: and we've also become increasingly sensitive to the women out
Speaker 1: there that are trying to conceive and having difficulty. So
Speaker 1: if for whatever reason, this episode isn't for you right now,
Speaker 1: we totally want you to respect what's healthy for you
Speaker 1: as we dive into this conversation. We don't want anybody
Speaker 1: to feel excluded or made to feel badly as we
Speaker 1: talk about this topic. And or it might be something
Speaker 1: if you feel like you can listen to it that
Speaker 1: you'll have in your back pocket. With some of the
Speaker 1: things that are being shared, you can lean into them
Speaker 1: later if they come up for you. Or I'll be
Speaker 1: sharing some stuff from my side of things, where I
Speaker 1: spent many years trying to get pregnant and was never
Speaker 1: able to, but I still had certain things pop into
Speaker 1: my head about what would happen to my body when
Speaker 1: I do get pregnant, and what am I going to
Speaker 1: do to make sure that I stayed this size, or
Speaker 1: like I already had a plan and I wasn't even pregnant,
Speaker 1: or I feared certain fertility treatments that may cause me
Speaker 1: to gain weight, and just kind of the thoughts that
Speaker 1: were popping into my head that weren't necessarily where I
Speaker 1: wanted my head space to be. Yeah, So I think
Speaker 1: this episode will just really talk about the unspoken conversations
Speaker 1: and fears and thoughts that women are truly having before
Speaker 1: they get pregnant, as they're trying to get pregnant, during
Speaker 1: fertility treatment, and once they are pregnant. Well, I'm sure
Speaker 1: we'll have a follow up to this postpartum. I've seen
Speaker 1: so many incredible conversations about postpartum and the journey and
Speaker 1: the fourth trimester as they call it, and I'm really
Speaker 1: glad these conversations are happening because that's kind of where
Speaker 1: you stop caring about the woman. It becomes all about
Speaker 1: the baby. But we need to make sure that we're
Speaker 1: taking care of ourselves and not allowing a lot of
Speaker 1: negative things to become normalized. So that's what we're exposing.
Speaker 1: So let's start with you, Amy, and those fears that
Speaker 1: you had around maybe fertility treatment or getting pregnant or both. Oh,
Speaker 1: I feel like anytime I was at the doctor and
Speaker 1: they were talking to me about what we could do
Speaker 1: to increase my chances of getting pregnant, the first question
Speaker 1: out of my mouth was is it going to make
Speaker 1: me gain weight? I mean, it's like all I cared
Speaker 1: about when I was trying to figure out a way
Speaker 1: to you know, create life and carry it in my
Speaker 1: stomach and then you know, grow our family. But yet
Speaker 1: the first question I was asking, and maybe that wasn't
Speaker 1: like the first thing I was saying out loud to
Speaker 1: the doctor, but it was certainly the first question that
Speaker 1: I had in my head. I'm sure I was disguising
Speaker 1: my disordered thoughts for sure by throwing in some sort
Speaker 1: of question that made me sound like a concerned mom
Speaker 1: or a concerned person for my body. But then really
Speaker 1: at the forefront of my mind was you know, you
Speaker 1: hear these stories of oh, I've taken these shots and
Speaker 1: I'm taking these pills and it's caused some hormonal changes
Speaker 1: and I'm gaining weight, and so naturally that caused a
Speaker 1: fear in me of like, oh, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be able to do that now. Ultimately, we
Speaker 1: decided pursuing fertility treatments beyond cloond, which is basically a
Speaker 1: pill you can take that makes your eggs more attractive.
Speaker 1: In Layman's terms, but we didn't take it any further
Speaker 1: because we decided to pursue adoption and that wasn't because
Speaker 1: of body stuff. It just more was the decision that
Speaker 1: was going to be best for our family when we
Speaker 1: looked at how much we were going to spend on
Speaker 1: fertility and then what adoption looks like. And we did
Speaker 1: have an interest in older children, and not everybody has
Speaker 1: that laid on their heart, and we thought, well, if
Speaker 1: we have that on our heart, then yeah, maybe we
Speaker 1: don't need a newborn baby. We can take an older
Speaker 1: children that need a home. Well, we did go the
Speaker 1: domestic adoption route just to clarify we were going to
Speaker 1: adopt a newborn domestic baby, but we were still trying
Speaker 1: to get pregnant at the same time. And then we
Speaker 1: just shifted gears completely. Two older children from Haiti and
Speaker 1: now we're parents of two amazing children. And when they
Speaker 1: got to America they were seven and ten, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I was now a mother of two and they didn't
Speaker 1: care about my weight one bit. But you had to
Speaker 1: do rapid get your mom stuff together, to learn how
Speaker 1: to best show up to almost teenagers to set a
Speaker 1: positive example. You know, you're not just doing breastfeeding or formula,
Speaker 1: you had to really like fix or begin to heal
Speaker 1: your own relationship a lot more rapidly because of their age.
Speaker 1: I think that they were a huge reason why I
Speaker 1: did finally get on board, because I had been suffering
Speaker 1: from eating disorder and disordered eating habits for years, years,
Speaker 1: and I had tried all kinds of things. But it's
Speaker 1: almost like I had to have the right people in
Speaker 1: my life at the right time, and then the commitment
Speaker 1: and the determination to really put in the work. But
Speaker 1: I feel like, well, Lisa, you were one of the
Speaker 1: right people at the right time, But I feel like
Speaker 1: Stevenson and Stashier were the right people at the right
Speaker 1: time too, because now I had this responsibility and I
Speaker 1: could clearly see myself passing my disordered behaviors onto them,
Speaker 1: and so I am thankful that I started to get
Speaker 1: true healing a year into having them, so that I
Speaker 1: didn't project more onto them. And my daughter she's old
Speaker 1: enough to see the change. Like she was ten when
Speaker 1: she got here, she's fourteen now, and she she knows
Speaker 1: the how I was with food when she arrived, and
Speaker 1: she knows how I am now, and trust me, she
Speaker 1: much prefers the way I am now. They were motivation
Speaker 1: to mature in this area and grow and try to
Speaker 1: be better, and fertility for me was relatively easy, and
Speaker 1: I had no idea what that was that journey was
Speaker 1: going to look like. However, just going through it a
Speaker 1: little bit allowed me to understand how stressful it is
Speaker 1: when you have that one shot per month, which is
Speaker 1: twelve times per year, and each time you're not getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: The stress that begins to accumulate of is this working?
Speaker 1: Is it me? Is it him? Is it us? Is it? What?
Speaker 1: Is it? And then throw in okay, we have a
Speaker 1: fertility treatment option, but it's going to involve hormones and
Speaker 1: body changes. I just want everybody listening who's possibly in
Speaker 1: that camp, who's having those same thoughts that you had
Speaker 1: Amy is to recognize that you're not alone having those feelings,
Speaker 1: and you're not a bad woman or one soon to
Speaker 1: be one day mom or anything for really struggling with
Speaker 1: will this change my body? And am I okay with that?
Speaker 1: And it still doesn't come with the guarantee Even if
Speaker 1: you're taking the shots and your body is changing and
Speaker 1: you're doing all the right things that you are going
Speaker 1: to get the outcome. So I feel like that could
Speaker 1: just be really unsettling for a lot of women to say, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: is this worth it for me without that guarantee even yeah,
Speaker 1: I think some women may struggle with the fertility part,
Speaker 1: but is it worth even Maybe you'll get pregnant easily.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're not even having to entertain fertility treatments. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's just the thought of literally getting pregnant because am
Speaker 1: I willing to change my body to give life? And
Speaker 1: you know, I think that this this conversation for me
Speaker 1: is a little bit interesting, and I want to have
Speaker 1: somebody on who is struggling through pregnancy honestly or has
Speaker 1: struggled through pregnancy with body image. I think that I'm
Speaker 1: having a really enjoyable pregnancy at this point because I
Speaker 1: did a lot of that self work where I really
Speaker 1: unidentified from my body. Number one, meaning my worth doesn't
Speaker 1: come from my body. Therefore I find change exciting. And
Speaker 1: Part two, which is really important to acknowledge, is my
Speaker 1: own thin privilege in this pregnancy, which is a very
Speaker 1: different experience from conversations that I've had with many many
Speaker 1: people who either started at an overweight weight or gained
Speaker 1: weight rapidly during their pregnancy. So for me, all the
Speaker 1: conversations around going to the doctor and outside strangers have
Speaker 1: been positive, and there's something to say about that as well.
Speaker 1: But it's really important to recognize that a lot of
Speaker 1: women are going to the doctor and their doctors are
Speaker 1: cautioning them to not gain too much weight or to
Speaker 1: slow down the waking, and those aren't really conversations that
Speaker 1: are helping the mother really returned to her highest power
Speaker 1: and her deep knowing of what she needs and when
Speaker 1: she needs it. So for anybody out there that is
Speaker 1: having a negative experience, I just want to let you
Speaker 1: know that you're seen, and even if your doctor is
Speaker 1: having these weight conversations with you which are making you
Speaker 1: feel really shameful, I hope that you can take a
Speaker 1: second to recognize that as the mother, you know what
Speaker 1: your body needs and no one knows how much that is.
Speaker 1: And there's no perfect weight gain formula. Yes we have
Speaker 1: recommendations of what we should gain per week or whatever,
Speaker 1: but you've got to trust that your body and your
Speaker 1: signs are working for you and really try hard to
Speaker 1: And I know it's hard. You shouldn't have to try hard,
Speaker 1: but to know that you're doing something freaking amazing, and
Speaker 1: any moment that's being robbed from you because of either
Speaker 1: outside comments or inside comments is stolen time away from
Speaker 1: what I have found to be a really powerful way
Speaker 1: to connect to a really deep sense of knowing and
Speaker 1: female power. And so I know you're talking about what
Speaker 1: people might hear from their doctors, but I think we
Speaker 1: should tie in what people hear from just either coworkers,
Speaker 1: other people, family members. I feel like we could carry over,
Speaker 1: you know how we try to encourage people not to
Speaker 1: just comment on people's bodies. Well, that includes pregnant women,
Speaker 1: because I think you can find other things to say
Speaker 1: to them if you want to acknowledge where they are.
Speaker 1: But I think sometimes it can be like WHOA, when
Speaker 1: are you do or you're huge? Or you having twins
Speaker 1: or I mean, I don't know, insert whatever comment it
Speaker 1: could be. And really the person doesn't mean any harm,
Speaker 1: because clearly you know you're pregnant, and you may know
Speaker 1: that your belly is wherever wherever it is sticking. But
Speaker 1: I mean, people just have comments, and I think that
Speaker 1: we need to start eliminating those from our hundred and
Speaker 1: ten percent. And I remember the first time somebody said
Speaker 1: to me, oh, are you pregnant? And even though it
Speaker 1: came with some sense of excitement for me, it was
Speaker 1: also a little bit surprising because I haven't had somebody
Speaker 1: comment on my body so bravely in years. It used
Speaker 1: to happen a lot to me when I was really
Speaker 1: disordered and I was super hyper focused on fitness, and
Speaker 1: you know, it's really proud of my muscles and my
Speaker 1: definition and all these things. People would say, Wow, you're
Speaker 1: so fit, and that really was quote unquote validating to
Speaker 1: me that I was on the right track of those things.
Speaker 1: You know, since then, so much has changed where I
Speaker 1: really don't get validation from body comments, and I've worked
Speaker 1: hard to disassemble that. But when anybody commenting on my body,
Speaker 1: positive or negative, it just takes me a second. And
Speaker 1: I've had to I wouldn't say learned, because I haven't
Speaker 1: quite figured it out yet, but I haven't figured out
Speaker 1: the best response to people commenting on my own personal body.
Speaker 1: So even just hearing somebody say oh, when are you
Speaker 1: do was just like, oh, okay, Like you're looking at
Speaker 1: my body in a way that is I don't know,
Speaker 1: like you're just you're looking at my body and you've
Speaker 1: taken information and you know something about me that I
Speaker 1: haven't told you, like I don't I don't know how
Speaker 1: to like explain it. And it was very very early on,
Speaker 1: but it was kind of just like, Okay, this this
Speaker 1: is interesting. How is this making me feel? What do
Speaker 1: I want to take away from that? And Evan and
Speaker 1: I my husband. I remember I saw my brother and
Speaker 1: my brother said, wow, you know, you look really pregnant,
Speaker 1: and Evan I left his house and I said, it's
Speaker 1: just so weird to have my brother comment on my body.
Speaker 1: And I know that it's to nothing sentence, it has
Speaker 1: no meaning to it, but it's still for me is like,
Speaker 1: can we just say nothing? Can we just say you
Speaker 1: look radiant? You know, how do you feel? Can we
Speaker 1: actually turn it into a question maybe so that we
Speaker 1: aren't just projecting you look glowing even on somebody might
Speaker 1: not feel so good when they feel like they're going
Speaker 1: to throw up or they feel like they're having a
Speaker 1: bad body image day. So I think feel like the
Speaker 1: best tip we can kind of give here, even just
Speaker 1: to like not say anything, would just be bring curiosity
Speaker 1: into it, but not with the assumption by the way
Speaker 1: that somebody is pregnant, because there are many times that
Speaker 1: somebody says, when are you expecting and somebody's not. I
Speaker 1: never want to put myself in that situation. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just eliminating that from I don't think I would
Speaker 1: ever just randomly ask somebody that. But you know what's happened,
Speaker 1: and you probably know someone that's happened too. It's just
Speaker 1: not cool. But but even if you're enquiring if they're
Speaker 1: pregnant or not, maybe you full on know that they
Speaker 1: are pregnant, but you're making a comment on their size
Speaker 1: or the size of their belly or whatever. I just
Speaker 1: want to make sure that we put that under the
Speaker 1: umbrella of like that is still commenting on someone's body,
Speaker 1: even though it's very aware, you're very aware, or they're
Speaker 1: very aware that yes, they look very pregnant. They don't
Speaker 1: need you to remind them. Yeah, And whether that's are
Speaker 1: you carrying twins or um, you're right, or are you
Speaker 1: carrying you're carrying high, you're carrying low. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: all these things that personally have made me feel uncomfortable
Speaker 1: for really no reason other than stop it, Like just
Speaker 1: just stop it, Like I don't need your assessment of
Speaker 1: how I'm carrying. You know, maybe this this has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with weight but gender, where you may say
Speaker 1: to someone, oh, you're carrying low, it must be a boy,
Speaker 1: or you're doing caring this way, you're going to have
Speaker 1: a girl, when really you don't know at all. You
Speaker 1: have no clue, and you don't know what someone else
Speaker 1: might be processing when they hear that. What if they
Speaker 1: really are hoping for a girl and now you've brought
Speaker 1: up that it's a boy, and you don't know the
Speaker 1: reason for wanting it to be a girl. And I'm
Speaker 1: sure they're going to love their child no matter what,
Speaker 1: but you don't know their whole story. For the sake
Speaker 1: of this, I could just make something up where it's
Speaker 1: like maybe they had lost a child before that was
Speaker 1: a girl and they really want another little girl, or
Speaker 1: they already have five boys and they're really hoping for
Speaker 1: a little girl. Like you never know someone's whole story.
Speaker 1: And the one thing that I wish I knew about
Speaker 1: pregnancy before, honestly, Amy, is that I thought, once you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: like you're golden, like all my friends who have been
Speaker 1: pregnant before. I thought it was you know, after you
Speaker 1: make your way out of the first trimester, you're having
Speaker 1: a baby period, like your life is going to change.
Speaker 1: And for the mother, I assume that that comes with
Speaker 1: excitement and assurance and really just only looking into the
Speaker 1: future positively. But really, from the second you are possibly pregnant,
Speaker 1: that you pe on that stick, from the second you
Speaker 1: p on that stick and it says positive, you are
Speaker 1: filled with anxiety, doubt, fear, there's a high chance of miscarrying,
Speaker 1: maybe you've miscarried in the past, and there's not one
Speaker 1: moment in pregnancy where you feel secure that the baby safe.
Speaker 1: And it's a really strange thing because I just again
Speaker 1: thought that it's just like you're pregnant or you're not,
Speaker 1: not that you're always carrying this fear that something could
Speaker 1: happen to the baby along the way. And again I
Speaker 1: think that that's something that we don't realize, that moms
Speaker 1: are soon to be moms. I don't call myself a
Speaker 1: mom um. I know some people do, but that expecting moms,
Speaker 1: we don't realize all the anxiety that they are carrying
Speaker 1: and the burden that enters their mind every single day
Speaker 1: of is this going to be real? And I don't
Speaker 1: know for me personally, Like I just thought once you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: you're good, and then you know, you're just kind of
Speaker 1: happy and pregnancy, but there's so much mentally that happens.
Speaker 1: Another topic I wanted to bring up is the touching
Speaker 1: of bellies without permission. I'm an offender, so I want
Speaker 1: to first admit that the first thing I would do.
Speaker 1: I think pregnant bellies are beautiful. I always have And
Speaker 1: the first thing I've always done when I see a
Speaker 1: pregnant woman is like, oh, can I touch it? I
Speaker 1: don't even know why. I'm not even a baby person.
Speaker 1: So we'll see how that goes. When to have my baby.
Speaker 1: By the way, I don't know if you want to
Speaker 1: come over in babysit amy um, if you're good with babies,
Speaker 1: maybe okay, I'm like not good with babies at all.
Speaker 1: I'm hoping this baby comes out like at three years
Speaker 1: old and just knows how to walk and talk and
Speaker 1: take care of itself. But I was, I was an
Speaker 1: offender of that, and now that it's my body, I
Speaker 1: will say that I don't mind people touching my belly
Speaker 1: the way I thought that I would, because before pregnancy
Speaker 1: that's always like my safe place, Like that's a very
Speaker 1: protected area, you know, even with a significant other. It's
Speaker 1: just I think for a lot of women that belly
Speaker 1: carries a lot of tension, anxiety history. I will say
Speaker 1: when people do touch my belly, personally, I don't mind it. However,
Speaker 1: I think that we should un normalize touching people's bellies
Speaker 1: because we don't know how each woman feels the trauma
Speaker 1: that they've experienced. It's a very difficult thing to say
Speaker 1: please don't touch me, or know if somebody asks, even
Speaker 1: if it's a family member. So the one thing that
Speaker 1: I've really not liked about pregnancy is that I feel
Speaker 1: like other people lost respect over my autonomy, that this
Speaker 1: is still my body, my choices, my physical being, And
Speaker 1: in order to restore that, we really need to recognize
Speaker 1: that the pregnant person is not just carrying the baby.
Speaker 1: They're still an individual. And I feel like that has
Speaker 1: been lost And that was a really big struggle for
Speaker 1: me and continues to be a big struggle as I
Speaker 1: get unsolicited advice as every pregnant woman seems to get. Yeah,
Speaker 1: once you're pregnant, you open your self of for everybody
Speaker 1: telling you all the things. For sure. There's someone that
Speaker 1: you encouraged me to follow a while back, and it's
Speaker 1: Sarah that at the Bird's Papaya. And just in case
Speaker 1: people aren't following her, she just went through the whole
Speaker 1: journey of being pregnant, giving birth and now she's on
Speaker 1: the other side of that, and she's a very open
Speaker 1: book and sharing a lot of her experience and things
Speaker 1: she's been through. So I'm just going to throw that
Speaker 1: out as an account to follow on Instagram if you're
Speaker 1: ever looking for, you know, people that are in your
Speaker 1: a similar space as you are right now. And then
Speaker 1: obviously Lisa is still on her journey She's not on
Speaker 1: the other side of it yet. She hasn't given birth yet,
Speaker 1: but you can follow Lisa to which is just at
Speaker 1: Lisa Hame and Sarah the Bird Papaya. I think has
Speaker 1: been such a great example of she she still doesn't
Speaker 1: call herself plus sized, I don't believe, but she is
Speaker 1: a much more real example of a woman going through pregnancy.
Speaker 1: This is her third, her fourth pregnancy, and I too,
Speaker 1: have really taken to heart what she said about people
Speaker 1: really applauding once you're pregnant and your bellies round and beautiful,
Speaker 1: and then how that applaud really dies down in the
Speaker 1: fourth trimester postpartum when it's like, when are you going
Speaker 1: to lose that weight? And I would love to have
Speaker 1: someone on to really discuss that challenge that I think
Speaker 1: a lot of women feel alone with. Yeah, which Bird's
Speaker 1: Papaya would be goals. So if anybody else listening, I
Speaker 1: did reach out to her before the baby, and she
Speaker 1: was getting ready for the baby, and I haven't followed
Speaker 1: up since then, so maybe we could circle back with that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it would be awesome to have her on. And then
Speaker 1: speaking about people on Instagram and being moms, I saw
Speaker 1: jen Hatmaker put up this post. Some of you may
Speaker 1: or may not know who she is, but the Bird's
Speaker 1: Papaya had commented on it, which is why I saw it.
Speaker 1: But I wanted to read what was put up, but
Speaker 1: then also talk about the conversation that was happening in
Speaker 1: the comments, which allowed Jennifer to go back and add something.
Speaker 1: So she had posted, I do not want to see
Speaker 1: a hundred and five pound model in a swimsuit ad
Speaker 1: to market. To me, nobody looks like that in a swimsuit.
Speaker 1: Normal bodies in ads forty six year olds with five
Speaker 1: kids normal, And then a lot of people landed in
Speaker 1: the comments of like, wait, but what's normal? I have
Speaker 1: kids and I'm a hundred pounds, so now I'm not
Speaker 1: acceptable and I'm not normal. And so then Jen went
Speaker 1: into her caption and said, adding to my naturally skinny friends,
Speaker 1: that is your body, your home. It is wonderful and
Speaker 1: the chosen template to set the curve. Most of us
Speaker 1: are above it. Quote normal was a bad word choice.
Speaker 1: What I really meant was average. I'm sorry. So how
Speaker 1: about just more diversity, more representation, more age ranges, more inclusivity,
Speaker 1: swimsuits for everyone, which I don't know. This isn't This
Speaker 1: isn't Jen's lane at all. She's the author and speaker
Speaker 1: on other things, so I think she was just she
Speaker 1: put something up and then she took from the comments
Speaker 1: like oh yeah, what is normal? There's no normal, Like
Speaker 1: we just want all kinds of bodies. Maybe you enter
Speaker 1: your pregnancy one type of body and you come out
Speaker 1: on the other side another type of body. Your body
Speaker 1: is still an awesome body. It's still your body. It's
Speaker 1: your It's done amazing things. And the bird's papaya back
Speaker 1: to that. I think she posted something recently like she
Speaker 1: was do part of a swimsuit line or something that's
Speaker 1: coming out to to offer that confidence to people. So
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was just thinking of because Jen's
Speaker 1: a mom of five, but you know your your body
Speaker 1: is going to be changing no matter if you're pregnant
Speaker 1: or not. We're constantly flowing in and out. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't weigh myself anymore. At least I don't even
Speaker 1: know if I've gotten to tell you this yet because
Speaker 1: we haven't talked about it whenever we were talking with
Speaker 1: Jennifer Roland, did I tell you that I went to
Speaker 1: the doctor and I weighed and I didn't I asked
Speaker 1: her to not weigh me, But then the nurse was
Speaker 1: a little confused by it, and I didn't really use
Speaker 1: my whole voice and just say, well, no, actually you
Speaker 1: don't have to weigh me. But she suggested, what if
Speaker 1: you just turned the other way and don't look at
Speaker 1: the scale. So I ended up just getting on the
Speaker 1: scale but turning away. And then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I I didn't speak up for myself, but
Speaker 1: still I didn't let it trigger me. I was able
Speaker 1: to turn around, but for some people, the simple act
Speaker 1: of stepping on the scale might be triggering, whether you
Speaker 1: see the number or not. I so I halfway used
Speaker 1: my voice at the doctor. One of our That's fantastic,
Speaker 1: and one of our listeners actually sent me a picture
Speaker 1: of a card that she got and I didn't take
Speaker 1: a picture of it. I regret that right now. But
Speaker 1: it's a card that you hand to your healthcare provider
Speaker 1: that says, basically, I prefer to not be weighed at
Speaker 1: this appointment. And I really love that because I have
Speaker 1: found and speaking to friends and through this whole pregnancy,
Speaker 1: I have found that it's really easy to lose your
Speaker 1: voice when you get to the doctor. There is a
Speaker 1: lot of intimidation, not because the doctor has done anything wrong,
Speaker 1: but I think the general nature of a doctor's office,
Speaker 1: you know, you want to be respectful, you want them
Speaker 1: to hear your complaints loudly, so you're a little bit
Speaker 1: more maybe compliant, is that you are afraid to speak
Speaker 1: up even when you know what you want. And I've
Speaker 1: experienced this in pregnancy. I've had friends that have experienced
Speaker 1: it in labor, and having something written with you, a
Speaker 1: card to hand is just a nice little tool. Amy.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you seen this?
Speaker 1: I have not, no, but I'm like, I wanna get them. Yes,
Speaker 1: I need to find that message and share it on
Speaker 1: my story for you guys to see what what it
Speaker 1: is about. But I think that it's really easy to
Speaker 1: lose your voice and your connection to self at the doctor,
Speaker 1: pregnant or not, and it's really helpful to do something
Speaker 1: every single day that connects you to your knowing. On
Speaker 1: my podcast, I had Serena Diron with a book she
Speaker 1: came out with called The Knowing, and that word has
Speaker 1: just been like stuck my mind. So shout out to Serena.
Speaker 1: But the one thing I have found with heightened anxiety,
Speaker 1: heightened other people telling me what I should and shouldn't do,
Speaker 1: inability to articulate my needs at the doctor, all these
Speaker 1: different things, is that all people, But if you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: take a few minutes every day to connect to yourself
Speaker 1: and to the baby in your belly and connect to
Speaker 1: that deep sense of knowing of exactly what you need
Speaker 1: that day. And I know it might sound like something
Speaker 1: you don't want to do, something you resist, like meditation,
Speaker 1: but I truly believe that every single day you need
Speaker 1: to reset that intention so that you can continue to
Speaker 1: protect yourself as you enter the world of all the
Speaker 1: noise that's going to come at you, from what you
Speaker 1: should be eating, to what you should be wearing, to
Speaker 1: what you should be you know, all of that, and
Speaker 1: it's just really helpful to take that moment to check
Speaker 1: in with yourself so that you feel really confident in
Speaker 1: not losing your voice, and amy even for you to
Speaker 1: like even for you to check in, like how you
Speaker 1: kind of lost your voice at the doctor for a moment.
Speaker 1: You said, if you were so connected to this is
Speaker 1: what I need today, you would have had an easier
Speaker 1: time activating that in the scary moment. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: think I caught her off guard. She said, no one
Speaker 1: has ever said that to her before ever, so she
Speaker 1: didn't really know what to do. And I thought, oh, wow,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, we just kind of march right in
Speaker 1: and they say something and we do it because it's like, well,
Speaker 1: we trust them. But really it wasn't a necessary thing
Speaker 1: that didn't have to happen. And I had my voice
Speaker 1: for a minute, and then I questioned my voice because
Speaker 1: nobody else had ever said that to her. And so
Speaker 1: I went along with the program. I just did it
Speaker 1: a little differently, yep. And that's a great way to
Speaker 1: do it. You can always get way backwards. That's totally
Speaker 1: acceptable in any health care setting. And I'm going to
Speaker 1: try and find that card and post that on my
Speaker 1: story so that everyone can see that and we can
Speaker 1: maybe try and find where to find that as well,
Speaker 1: because I'm not sure where she got that. And the
Speaker 1: last thing that I just wanted to share about it
Speaker 1: was that I found out I was pregnant in December,
Speaker 1: and it was around the same time I was launching
Speaker 1: for the Noise, Hunger and Fullness for the first time,
Speaker 1: and I was so confident in my material. The course
Speaker 1: helps you hone in on the sensations that guide you
Speaker 1: too and away from food and so much more. And
Speaker 1: as I was launching that course, I started to experience
Speaker 1: something in my body that I had never experienced before,
Speaker 1: which is not knowing how to best feed myself. And
Speaker 1: it was such a great teaching moment to really recognize
Speaker 1: that at every life phase comes new obstacles and that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you for me, you know, it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that I'm not going to be a good teacher.
Speaker 1: I was really thankful that I'm going through this because
Speaker 1: it's going to make me a greater teacher. And what
Speaker 1: I mean by that is in the first trimester, oftentimes
Speaker 1: you have to eat way before you're hungry in order
Speaker 1: to avoid nausea and eve. And though you technically don't
Speaker 1: need more food they say, or more calories per day
Speaker 1: in your first trimester, the fact is eating was the
Speaker 1: only thing that made me feel like I wasn't going
Speaker 1: to get sick, and I had to take a lot
Speaker 1: of preemptive measures, which isn't necessarily quote unquote listening to
Speaker 1: my body or eating when I was hungry, But being
Speaker 1: my best caretaker meant getting ahead of the hunger, like
Speaker 1: that was the biggest nausea trigger for me. And it
Speaker 1: also meant throwing a lot of what I talked about
Speaker 1: in my courses, that outer wisdom out the door. You know,
Speaker 1: there was a week or two weeks or maybe three
Speaker 1: weeks where I didn't even touch a green vegetable. You know,
Speaker 1: it didn't matter. Food just became whatever I could keep
Speaker 1: down to just feel okay for a minute, and that
Speaker 1: was totally fine, right, Like I think we also put
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure on ourselves that in pregnancy we
Speaker 1: have to have this perfectly well round diet. Of course
Speaker 1: we want to eat lots of whole foods, but give
Speaker 1: yourself the most grace in the first trimester when it
Speaker 1: comes to this, and just folks us on surviving, putting
Speaker 1: one foot in front of the other and keeping anything down.
Speaker 1: That's the most important thing. And as I make my
Speaker 1: way through each of these trimesters right now I'm in
Speaker 1: the second, I'm continuing to learn eating frequency, eating amounts,
Speaker 1: and my life, my eating schedule quote unquote just looks
Speaker 1: so drastically different than what it did before. And it
Speaker 1: looks different also day to day. I don't track anything,
Speaker 1: I don't write things down, but I think that it's
Speaker 1: really interesting to allow myself to be so flexible without judgment,
Speaker 1: to bring non judgmental curiosity into Oh that's so interesting
Speaker 1: today you need a little bit more for breakfast where
Speaker 1: yesterday like you were good from something a little bit smaller,
Speaker 1: a little bit less filling, whatever it is. And to
Speaker 1: just continue to show up to every moment with the
Speaker 1: ability to nourish and take care of yourself and food
Speaker 1: has also become a little bit more fun for me. Too,
Speaker 1: because with that increased sense of hunger or take sometimes
Speaker 1: comes a desire to want to make things more delicious,
Speaker 1: which I haven't really had in a in a long
Speaker 1: time for me, So I feel like it's actually allowed
Speaker 1: me to reconnect to food and reconnect to my body
Speaker 1: with those grounding principles every day, taking time when I
Speaker 1: wake up to not go on my phone five minutes
Speaker 1: to just put my hand on my belly and just
Speaker 1: connect to something else has been really positive for me. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I think that's some wisdom, whether people listening right now
Speaker 1: are pregnant or not. Like all of that stuff that
Speaker 1: you just said, and maternity clothes another thing that I
Speaker 1: just wanted to share. I feel like I could go
Speaker 1: either way on this. For the most part, I feel
Speaker 1: like you don't need to waste your money on clothing
Speaker 1: that's gonna last you nine months. There's plenty of things
Speaker 1: you can wear during pregnancy. And after that being said,
Speaker 1: if you wear something every single day and you're just
Speaker 1: avoiding getting the right clothing that actually fits your body,
Speaker 1: I do suggest getting maternity So for me, I wear
Speaker 1: leggings every day. Switching to maternity in my first trimester,
Speaker 1: it was the best choice that I made because these
Speaker 1: fit my growing body and have allowed me to feel
Speaker 1: good in them and show up every day feeling good.
Speaker 1: If you work in a more formal environment, maybe getting
Speaker 1: a you know, a skirt or a pair of pants,
Speaker 1: or a few pairs of pants that again support you.
Speaker 1: Because I think that clothing is an expression of how
Speaker 1: we feel and it can shape our confidence, and a
Speaker 1: lot of women avoid getting that maternity clothing or waiting
Speaker 1: until a certain trimester to get it. I'm all for
Speaker 1: if you're going to be wearing something every day or frequently,
Speaker 1: that's a source of pride. You've got to feel good
Speaker 1: in what you're what you're wearing. And if that means
Speaker 1: investing in a few pieces, I personally have found and
Speaker 1: believe that it's definitely worth it. Well before we wrap,
Speaker 1: is there any piece of advice Lisa that you would
Speaker 1: offer someone that's pregnant right now? The one piece of
Speaker 1: advice that I would offer to anybody who is pregnant
Speaker 1: is to just know that you are the one living
Speaker 1: in your own body and that makes you the math
Speaker 1: stir of it, the one that knows the most about it,
Speaker 1: and in those moments where you feel shaky about it.
Speaker 1: I want you to just remember that you're the only
Speaker 1: person living and feeling and knowing your body and your
Speaker 1: baby's deep needs and the other thing which is a
Speaker 1: little bit unrelated to body image and food. There's one
Speaker 1: piece of advice that has just been so comforting to
Speaker 1: me that I just want to offer to you, which
Speaker 1: is it's okay to change your mind. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of decisions that you need to make, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of ideas about what's right and wrong, and whatever you choose,
Speaker 1: I want you to know that you can continue to
Speaker 1: change your mind as you get to the different stages
Speaker 1: of it. And for me, that has just been having
Speaker 1: that permission has really allowed me to stay present but
Speaker 1: also move forward. This does involve quite a bit of planning. Again,
Speaker 1: another piece of advice that I think could flow into
Speaker 1: somebody listening right now that may not be pregnant. Just
Speaker 1: giving yourself that permission that we're constantly growing and changing
Speaker 1: and you can detour if that's what is gonna serve
Speaker 1: you best. And then at that point it's no longer
Speaker 1: a detour, it's what was right for you. Have you
Speaker 1: ever read that book Obstacle is the Way completely not
Speaker 1: related to pregnancy, but talks a lot about obstacles. Obviously,
Speaker 1: the title gives the what the book is about a way.
Speaker 1: The obstacle is the way you can either see something
Speaker 1: as an obstacle or when you don't look at it
Speaker 1: that way any longer, it's now the way because that's
Speaker 1: the way you're going. And so, for to what you're saying, Lisa,
Speaker 1: when you're on this journey and you hit those different stages,
Speaker 1: something may come up and you can either look at
Speaker 1: is like a wrestle with it of like, oh, this
Speaker 1: wasn't what I had planned. I but I really feel
Speaker 1: like I need to go this way. Well, then just
Speaker 1: go that way and now it's your new way. So
Speaker 1: and I also want to urge anybody who is pregnant
Speaker 1: to check in with themselves with either thoughts in their
Speaker 1: head or verbal thoughts that come out that are self
Speaker 1: critical about your body words like I'm fat, I'm disgusting,
Speaker 1: I a whale. I think that all this language that
Speaker 1: you allow allows other people to perpetuate it, and it
Speaker 1: really steals from the beauty of what's happening. So if
Speaker 1: you have those types of thoughts, not that you're not
Speaker 1: entitled to have those thoughts, but can you check back
Speaker 1: in and return to a positive affirmation. I am growing
Speaker 1: a beautiful baby, change is beautiful, I am carrying magic
Speaker 1: within my body. Whatever it is, just really take a
Speaker 1: moment to un normalize a lot of the language. I've
Speaker 1: personally heard that thrown around from pregnant women before, even
Speaker 1: before I was pregnant, I found it triggering. Amy, I
Speaker 1: don't know about you. I've always found that really triggering,
Speaker 1: especially because whenever I've seen a pregnant body, I see beauty.
Speaker 1: So don't give other people permission to speak about bodies
Speaker 1: that way, and begin to challenge yourself and the voice
Speaker 1: in your head that is speaking so critically. Doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that all days are going to be easy. They're physically
Speaker 1: uncomfortable days. There are emotionally uncomfortable days. But every moment
Speaker 1: is a chance to check in with yourself, reconnect, and
Speaker 1: reinvite a different type of energy into your body. Love that,
Speaker 1: and I will use all of those as reminders for
Speaker 1: myself once a month when I get my period, because
Speaker 1: I have been guilty of saying I feel like a whale,
Speaker 1: and now I'm going to be like and whales are beautiful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they are beautiful creatures. So thank you Lisa for leading
Speaker 1: us in this discussion, and we hope it's helpful to
Speaker 1: some of you out there. For sure. We love to
Speaker 1: hear from you, so make sure you email us, Lisa,
Speaker 1: can you give them that our emails Hello at outweighth
Speaker 1: podcast dot com. And we love hearing from you, and
Speaker 1: we love getting your d m s. And your shares
Speaker 1: on social media are the absolute best because that's how
Speaker 1: you help us share our amazing guest stories who are
Speaker 1: putting such good information out there into the universe. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: then you can rate and review. That's always another super
Speaker 1: helpful thing that we appreciate. So until next Saturday, we'll
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